#I am becoming a better version of myself everyday

[universalitgirlsblog2]

💗🌺YOU DON'T LIKE YOURSELF? CREATE A NEW VERSION OF YOURSELF💗🌺

💗INTRODUCTION

The world needs to accept as you are. no ! The world does not owe you anything. People do not owe you anything. We are changing everyday , we are always trying to improve ourselves. No person is the same person as he or she was from the day that they were born. Everything will be okay when you make it okay. Your life is in your hands. Nobody is coming to save you. Not your mom , your dad , your spouse , your children etc. You want your life to change? You have to change.

🌺CREATE ANOTHER VERSION OF YOURSELF ( ALTER EGO)

Beyonce says that whenever she goes on stage she is not Beyonce , she is Sasha Fierce. David Goggins grew up in poverty, gained alot of weight but then he lost weight and ran marathons. They all say to create a new version of yourself.

Liz said that she is lazy , doesn't like attention which comes from social media and stay her in bed all day but all this will get her nowhere so she created a new version. Somebody that is confident , uses her platform , goes after her goals , gets up and goes to gym and somebody with a very hard mindset and tough skin . You need to create a tough skin especially if you are an influencer or a celebrity.

If you start acting like your alter ego , you will become like her. Ask yourself . What does the higher version of yourself look like ? How does she / he look like ? What is she / he wearing ? Who do they date ? What is their career ? How do they spend their time ? What is their hairstyle ?

💗START TAKING SMALL STEPS TOWARDS GREATNESS

Before doing anything , ask yourself , will my highest version do this? If you are eating sugary food, ask yourself If your highest version would eat that dessert. If you don't feel like going to the gym , ask yourself If your highest version would skip gym or go to gym.

🌺WHAT'S YOUR PASSION/ BEST CAREER OPPORTUNITY?

Find your own passion . No one can tell you what your passion is , you need to find it .

God gives us passion because that's what we are supposed to do.

If you have no idea about your passion , what am I really good at ? Every single person is good at something . It might be as small as cooking, managing team or very much into social media.

💗GET HONEST WITH YOURSELF/ STOP SUGAR-COATING

You can't be always kind to yourself, sometimes you need a reality check . Also , ask yourself what your best version of yourself would do ? Go for walk. Listen to podcast.

🌺PRACTICE THE LAW OF ASSUMPTION AND TRUST GOD/THE UNIVERSE

Talk to God as if he is your best friend. Ask God and the universe for the things you want. Don't expect help if you don't ask for help. God puts people in our life to help us , to upgrade us.

💗LET GO OF TRYING TO CONTROL AND START TRUSTING THAT IT WILL HAPPEN.

Ask once , be specific and practice gratitude before asking. Start assuming like the world is designed for you to succeed .

🌺GET INTO THE MINDSET OF : WHAT WOULD THE HIGHEST VERSION OF MYSELF DO ?

You walk into a room , you have a meeting or a presentation. You feel nervous. Ask yourself : what would the highest version of myself do ? Shoulders back , walk into the room and start talking. Wherever you go , think that everyone is in love with you , it will make you confident.

You have to tell yourself affirmations . Look into the mirror and say " I am powerful . I am amazing. I am going to kill this day ." Ask God to help you and stand by me .

💗ACCEPT THAT RECOVERY IS NOT LINEAR AND BE GRATEFUL FOR THE BAD DAYS.

It takes accountability. Going through the progress of looking at yourself differently.

🌺FALL IN LOVE WITH THE PROGRESS , NOT THE GOAL.

Know that the bad day is a blessing. How will we appreciate good days if we have no bad days ?

If you want an expensive watch , the watch itself doesn't fulfill you , it's the process towards the watch & the anticipation. If you want to lose weight , going to gym regularly and seeing the scale going down, Feeling healthier and better. That is the process. That is happiness.

💗STOP TALKING ABOUT IT AND START ACTUALLY DOING IT

Do not tell anyone about your ambitions .Show them what you are doing .

If you tell big dreams to small minded people , they will never support you because they do not understand. They have not done it themselves

🌺DON'T TALK ABOUT IT UNTIL IT IS DONE.

The big issue with people is that they want to talk before it happened. Why are you putting evil eye on yourself?

" What people don't know they can't ruin "

Be private. You never know who is praying for your downfall.

Don't talk about things you want to accomplish before you accomplished them.

[agirlwithglam]

👠 The It Girl’s Confidence Guide 👠

Greetings and welcome fellow apprentice, to thee official It Girl’s Guide to Confidence! this guide will be from an actual experienced person. i have been through a phase where i completely hated myself and genuinely thought i wasn't worthy of good things to becoming so confident and completely comfortable on my own. <3 here are the tips that helped me so much 💗

btw i have a whole guide on self love which i'll add the link of -> HERE.

what is holding you back from being confident? basically ask yourself: what am i lacking that is holding me back from being confident? then work on it. its that easy! something thing that i've done is that i've made a list of what a "perfect" person/ version of me looks like. i've included their personality, intelligence, looks, relationships, mindset and hobbies. so everyday i'm always working towards that and adopting that energy of perfection. but be careful with this! you rly need to have a good self love and self worth to do this otherwise it can bring you down.

affirmations. im ngl this really did wonders for me. every morning i'd either a) repeat affirmations in front of the mirror, or b) listen to affirmations by other people. trust me, it will start to rewire your brain to help you. here is my post on affirmations for self love and confidence. also i highly recommend that you listen to subliminals!

leave. toxic. relationships. the bad people for you will bring you down. good people will hype you up. choose your people.

create a confidence playlist. fill it will songs that make you feel elite and like that girl. if you don't want to create one yourself, you can always search up confidence playlists on Spotify- they have loads of rly good ones.

become obsessed with yourself. cus girlie.. whats there NOT to be obsessed with??

walk, talk, sit, stand with confidence. whatever you do, do it with confidence. when you're walking walk with your chin up and back straight. when your sitting, watch your posture. when your standing, dont slouch- OPEN BODY LANGUAGE. and when you're talking, don't seem unsure or scared, but don't be too cocky/ arrogant. remember: no one is better than you, and you are not better than anyone.

watch helpful videos. for me, the holy grail, the one i'd always come back to and recommend over and over again: thewizardliz and Tam Kaur. let me say that again: THEWIZARDLIZ and TAM KAUR. these are the queens who really taught me to be confident.

alter egoossss. create a new version of you or adopt the energy of another confident icon! i've made a whole post on how to make an alter ego which you can check out.

[scenteddelusion5]

Could you write a Vox x Alastor’s Child? Wherein reader views their fights as a “bonding activity” because it relieves stress for the both of them because they’re not willing to kill each other due to not wanting to hurt reader and they’ll be civil when they need to be. A large chunk of their rivalry being due to Alastor seeing Vox as trying to steal his child from him (making them his partner both romantically & business wise, them becoming an actor) and Vox seeing it the same way with Alastor trying to drag them on random outings when they’re supposed to film or have time together. - @am-i-interrupting

"Two households, both unalike in dignity, In our unsightly hell, where we lay our scene," PART 1

Vox x gn reader (Alastor's child)

Note: At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this one, especially because i had already written a daughter character, already have a daughter oc myself and then would have this child. But then I had this Romeo and Juliet inspo in mind and now I wanted to do it.

!!!!! NOTE ABOUT REQUEST !!!!!

So I really liked the idea of this Vox and Alastor dynamic but I can't write short stories so instead I'm doing a 2 or 3 parter about how they got into this dynamic. So they aren't like how you requested yet.

Word count: 3436

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

"Two households, both unalike in dignity, In our unsightly hell, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where denizen blood makes denizen teeth unclean, From forth the innovation of these two foes, A pair of star-crossed lovers arise,"

Y/n sat on the balcony of their father's mansion. Nothing but trees, or at least hell's version of trees, could be seen from there. The bustling city was ways away from the territory most denizens were too afraid of to enter. The book they were reading was written a small auteur in hell, it was obvious that he had taken great inspiration from a much more famous work. An old-fashioned, cannibal and a modern man, with more savoury tastes, falling in love, their families hate each other yada yada yada. Nothing they hadn't read before.

The demon, whom resembled a deer, put their book down and started messing with the knobs on their older radio. It sprung alive with the voice of their father; Alastor the Radio Demon, feared all throughout hell. On his broadcast played a catchy jazz song that, every once in a while, got interrupted by agonizing screams.

"That was an amazing number." The Radio glowed green as he spoke. "It brings me all the way back to the nights I spend in the speakeasies. Let's continue on-"

Everyday Alastor would broadcast the news and gossip of the week at exactly 10 a.m. and Y/n would always tune in.

"- Oh, and make sure to stay clear of the Carmine mansion this evening. The overlords are having a little get-together. So if you don't want to be served for dinner, I recommend you go home early tonight."

Right, Camilla Carmine was holding a party to celebrate the 100th anniversary of Carmine industries. Y/n was so excited. Normally their father wouldn't let them go to parties, but considering he would be there, he allowed them to go this time.

"Lastly I have a personal message to my favourite fan. I couldn't have wished for a better fawn. I hope you liked the breakfast I cooked especially for you, that demon was a struggle to catch. Hahaha," he laughed, "see you after the broadcast. Let's put on (song), it's not really my style but considering it's your favourite, I can make an exception." Their song slowly came on while Alastor's voice faded.

Y/n hadn't made friends outside of cannibal town. They had to admit they were a bit nervous...

The day went by faster and faster as the night grew closer. Y/n had put on their green gown/suit. It was beautiful; adorned with black lace, a pattern of turns and roses sewn into it.

"What do you think?" Y/n asked while turning around.

Alastor, whose suit didn't look all THAT different from his usual one, studied them up and down. "You look delightful, fawn. Every single demon in that building will see green from jealousy."

"Thanks dad."

Despite the fact that cars were already owned by most citizens in the time Alastor was alive, he preferred to walk, even to such an important event as this. So, when the two off them arrived, they stepped in through a side door instead of the big red carpet where the limousines dropped off guests.

"Remember Y/n, don't talk to people you don't know and if something goes wrong, find me or Rosie." Alastor's antlers started to grow and static filled the air. "I'll destroy however dares to hurt you."

"Don't worry, dad. I'm an adult, I can take care of myself." They laughed off their dad's threatening stature. "But if something happens I can't handle, I'll go to you."

The ballroom was decorated with black gold and white. All kinds of denizens were roaming around, from high standing overlords to imp servants. There were no familiar faces. The only other overlord Y/n had ever met besides Alastor was Rosie. Even so they had immediately split up from Alastor in favour of exploring the buffet table.

After picking up a plate, they started picking the tastiest little snacks. There was even a few dishes with demon in them provided for the cannibals.

Vox had spent four hours making himself presentable in a fancy blue suit and a new screen protector. the other Vees had matched his style. So when the three stepped out of their high-tech car and got bombarded with paparazzi, it was clear that the three belonged together.

It isn't often that they had the chance to converse with other demons of their status. It was the perfect chance to make new connections.

Vox had gotten the chance with a few other demons before it happened. His eyes landed on the most beautiful person Vox had ever seen. Their looks hypnotized the tv-demon... Which was supposed to be HIS power.

"Hey Voxie, you never guess who I saw~... Voxie? Vox... VOX!" No matter how hard Valentino tried, he wasn't able to capture Vox's attention. "What are you looking at?..." Following his colleague's line of sight, Val's eyes landed on them too. "Oooohhh, I see~ Should I go talk to them for you, maybe I can convince them to stay the night in our bed."

Vox slightly buffered. "What! NO! I'm going myself, yeah, I can handle this myself."

Y/n was enjoying a lovely tea sandwich with raw, demon heart on it, when a person they didn't recognize came up to them.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." The man with a tv for a head grabbed their hand and placed a kiss on their hand. "I'm Vox, and you are?"

"Y/n, and it's a pleasure to meet you too," they introduced themselves before shoving another tea sandwich in their mouth.

"You must really like those sandwiches."

Y/n aggressively nodded her head. "YES! Here try one!" they shoved one of them in Vox's face who reluctantly eat it.

"Wow, that's... an unique flavour."

"Yeah, heart does taste very peculiar but I like it."

It put Vox off that the demon had spoken so casually about cannibalism, however, he was even more put off that he was just fed ACTUAL DEMON. So, when they weren't looking, he drank an entire glass of champagne in one go, hoping to wash off the taste.

"Anyway... I was hoping to dance with you." Vox offered out his hand but pulled it away again when he saw the dissapointment in their face.

"I would love too but I don't think my father would be happy to see me dancing with anyone. I'm sorry."

He thought about it for a few seconds. "Y'know I'm quite familiar with this place, there is a smaller ballroom a few doors down. If you want to, you could take me up on the offer there." The overlord suggested.

Normally, Y/n would've never said yes. Going to an empty room with a stranger who must have quite a lot of power. Only an idiot would follow him... Maybe they were a bit of an idiot but Y/n was intrigued by the man, so much so that they decided to go.

"Alright."

Hours went by while the two of them danced, talked and drank in the empty ballroom. Y/n felt themself falling deeper and deeper in love with the handsome stranger. The confident way he spoke, the way he buffered and glitched whenever he got flustered, the way he would get angry when they hurt his pride by laughing at his attempts to woo them. He was perfect.

"Now, tell me Vox. Who exactly are you? Like, I know you your name but you must have been invited for a reason, so...??" Y/n asked.

"You mean you really don't recognize me?" Vox asked flabbergasted. "I'm the CEO of VoxTech." The other demon still looked confused. "The biggest tech company of hell? We release new products almost every single day."

"I'm not big on modern technology, I died during the 1920's," Y/n explained, "I tried using a computer once and it didn't go well."

"Well, that's really no good. As a demon of high society, you should keep up with modern invention, if you ever want the help I don't mind teaching you how to use it." Vox stared at them lovingly. "You know what, I'll even give you a phone. Give your address and I'll send you on-"

"HEY! Vox!" A girl with pink and purple hair walked in. She wore a poofy pink dress and her face was covered in make-up. Her bloodshot red eyes landed on the person standing next to her friend. "Oooeeehhh, and who are you?"

"Velvette, Y/n. Y/n, Velvette." Vox introduced them to each other. "They have been great company tonight, right love?" He caressed the side of their face."

Y/n got redder and redder as the conversation went on. "Yeah, it was great."

"Well, sorry that I gotta burst your bubble." Velvette interrupted the sweet moment between the two. "But the Carmines are about to have their speech and you know how pissy those old fuckers get about shit like this."

Y/n looked at the clock hanging on the wall and realised they had been gone from the party for hours. "Yeah, I should really be going back too. My father is provably worried about me."

The three swiftly made their way back to the main ballroom, Velvette joking about the two lovebirds the whole time.

Once there, they gathered by the crowd standing around a podium. Carmilla was standing there, already holding her speech about the start of her company, the amazing growth and the future. Although a very basic speech, demons were at the fact that the Carmine had mentioned future dealings and couldn't wait for the opportunity to become a part of them. One of them seemed to be the handsome TV Demon that Y/n had hopelessly fallen in love with over the course of the evening.

"Excited I see," Y/n said while pointing to the electricity coming off of Vox, "I'm not sure that a deal with Carmilla is going to happen if you electrocuted her."

"Hey! I'm a great negotiator. Thank you very much!" The man joked.

Alastor had kept his child in his sight the whole evening.... Until he didn’t. They were right over by the buffet table just a second ago. Y/n couldn’t have gone far. So, he went on a search, but after an hour, he found nothing. He even asked Rosie for help but no luck. He had stayed looking until Carmilla started her speech and even then Alastor still kept an eye open for her.

What he never expected to see, was his child, his lovely, well-behaved, miracle of a child, to be joking around with his nemesis. And were they.... Blushing?

Static filled the air around him, symbols floated around his head. The terrifying shadow of his ever-growing antlers made every demon and demoness run out of his way.

Once he got really close he could hear their conversation.

"You're such a dork!" His child laughed.

Alastor could only see their back, but he knew what their smile looked like right now. Unlike his plastered smile that hid his emotions, Y/n's was genuine.

"I'm the dork? Have you se-" Vox's eyes drifted to the strange red symbols, when he noticed Alastor standing there. A small x on his forehead, eyes like dials and his smile wide.

Normally, during their fights Alastor would be somewhat lenient with him. He still roasted Vox to the living world and back but he never outright tried to murder him. This meant that he had never experienced the true wrath of the Radio Demon. But right in that moment, Vox felt like his days were numbered.

"Holy shit," Velvette muttered.

Noticing the two Vees were looking behind them, Y/n turned around and as soon as they did, Alastor switched back to normal like clockwork.

"Oh, hey dad!" Y/n greeted him sweetly. "What are you doing?"

"Oh nothing, little fawn," the Radio Demon spoke, distain clear in his tone of voice, "now tell me, why are you wasting your time conversing with such vermin? Especially, a styleless one like that insecure, copycat, picture box."

Vox was still staring between the two of them. Y/n was Alastor's child! The one the Radio host always talks about, the only thing that freak actually seems to care about. Why did it have to be them the overlord had fallen in love with at that ball?

"You are the Radio Demons child!" The man freaked out.

"I didn't think you would care about that..." Y/n's face turned into a frown, unlike their father’s whose grin only grew wider.

"I-I" The tv started buffering. " I don't..."

"Come one Y/n, let's find someone with more class." Alastor turned around, his child in toe.

"Wow, can't believe you got the hots for that man's child." Velvette quickly snapped a picture of Vox's stunned face and send it to Valentino. You'll never guess what happened. She typed under it.

Y/n looked down at their shoes, not wanting to see their father's victorious grin. "I can't believe you just did that."

"Whatever do you mean, little fawn?"

"You know what," they replied sounding angry this time, "why did you scare away the first real people I made friends with here in hell?!"

Y/n had never had an attitude before, never talked back, never even sounded annoyed. It scared Alastor for a few seconds. "That... Vox isn't the type of person you should make friends with'."

"Isn't that for me to decide?" Tears filled their eyes and their voice was strained. "I want to go home."

Once home, Y/n attempted to rush up the stairs but was stopped by Alastor’s shadow grabbing them by the arm. They were struggling to get away when Alastor cupped their face with his hands and looked suspiciously in their eyes. He was searching for something.

"Let go of me!" Their eyes glowed as they screamed.

When Y/n tried to pull away again, Alastor's grip tightened. "You've never acted like this before. He must have hypnotised you, so be a doll and let me find his spell!"

But no matter how much he searched for even a sign of demonic manipulation. Did Vox not hypnotize them? Then why were they.... Because of Alastor's second of confusion, Y/n could quickly pull away. They rushed up to their room and locked the door.

Alastor just stood there, stunned until a knock came from the door. He straightened his suit before opening it.

"Hi Alastor, I saw you two... Leave and thought you might need a listening-ear." Rosie stepped inside and made her way to the dining room. "Besides I could really use a cup of thee after such a long night."

"You know me too well, Rosie. I'll get some snacks too."

"They've never even raised their voice at me before but one hour with that noisy rectangle and Y/n is acting like a rebelious teen." Alastor took a bite from the index finger snack. "I tried to look for a sign of hypnosis but there was nothing. What did he do to them?"

"Ever thought about it that Vox didn't do anything?" Rosie suggested.

Alastor's pupils turned into dials. "Hmm? What did you just say?"

"Ya have to think about this differently." Rosie took a sip from her tea. "A demon always buried in their books with little to no interaction with the outside world goes out for the first time in years and meets a charming man who's interested in them. It's just like one those romance tropes they always reads about."

The other overlord considered it. "Then what do you suggest we do about it. How can I show them that they deserve much better?"

"First of all, have a conversation with them. A genuine one."

"And then?"

Rosie's smile showed her sharp teeth. "Then-"

Vox was still buffering from that crazy night. He fell in love with ALASTOR'S CHILD, for god's sake. He was connected to his advanced computer, rebooting his systems. Images of Y/n, memories he saved in his files, flashed over the many monitors in his room. The doors to his office opened revealing the other two Vees.

"Damn, Voxie. You've never had to reboot after we've 'hang out' before." Valentino leaned over his colleague's shoulder. "You aren't going to demote me from being your favourite, right?"

"I wouldn't sound so confident Val. Vox was pretty hooked last night, you should've seen him." Velvette pulled up the picture she took. "This photo doesn't do his obsession justice."

"Stop it, Velvette." The TV Demon unplugged himself from the computer set-up. "It's never going to work out anyway. And it's all that shitty, old demon's fault!"

"You really think that?" Velvette asked. "I mean, they looked pretty interested to me... You could always go over to them and explain yourself. Oh and while you're there, try to find a snoop that'll make my drama Sinstagram go viral."

"Voxie doesn't need them. Just stay with me and I'll make you forget them in just five minutes." The moth demon's cigarette smoke formed a heart.

The screen buffered once more. "Get out! The both of you."

"I'll wait in my room." The two Vees made their way out.

Once he was sure they were gone, Vox pulled up another file. Y/n's beautiful face showed on the screen and their addicting laugh filled the room.

Y/n sat against their door, crying. They could see the moon through the balcony window. It's red light filled the room. They couldn't believe their father had reacted like that. And they couldn't get the face Vox made when he released their connection to the Radio Demon out of their head. It plagued their mind since the moment it happened.

Their room seemed so small, so empty, so cold. Nothing had physically changed but mentally, emotionally, everything was different. They got a taste of that beautiful romance and it was taking away from them in the blink of an eye.

Y/n was so deep in their self-pity that they didn't notice the moonlight was blocked by something. They were jolted out of their own thoughts by a knock on the window.

Looking up they saw none other than Vox standing there. His suit was covered in dirt and branches that he got certainly caught in on his way there.

They quickly walked over to open the door, stumbling on their way.

"Y/n, I- uhm, you must find it weird that I show up on you balcony like this." Vox's screen got slightly red. "I wanted to apologize for this evening. I don't care who your father is, I- uhm I care about you."

"Vox, I need you to be honest with me. Did you hypnotize me?"

Y/n's sad look broke his heart. Who got into their head that he hypnotized them?

"Y/n, I didn't and I will never do it." He put his hand on their cheek. "I promise."

Blush decorated their face. "Then can you tell me what's going on between you and my dad?"

"Of course."

The two sat on their bed, cuddling. Vox had told them about everything. The start of their feud, his constant fighting with Alastor but also the fact that he fell in love with them at first sight. It was a lovely, domestic moment.

"One time I got so angry at your dad that I made a complete smear campaign against him. it didn't work out, he completely cut off all my broadcasts, all seventy channels."

"I think he once told me about that," Y/n laughed, "you get more under his skin then you think. Even before he saw he two of us together."

"If you say so..."

Their banter went on for hours. The two did their best to keep sounds to a minimum so Alastor wouldn't find out.

"Oh, before I leave, here." Vox handed them a white box. "it's a phone. I made sure to remove all spying devices and I programmed you a special assistant. It should help you figuring out how it works."

"You put spying devices in people's phones?"

"Uh-I"

"Don't worry, I get it. It's hell. There is no need to explain yourself."

"Right." Vox tried to laugh it off like Y/n was doing. "It's getting late, I should go. Wouldn't want the Radio Demon to know I'm meeting up with his daughter without a chaperone."

This time when Y/n was separated from Vox, they felt fine. Because they knew that he loved them. They were still longing for him, but not in a sad way. It was pure, romantic love.

Part 2

Masterlist/request guidelines

[astroyongie]

Why Do I Behave This Way ? - Psychology Answers

Note: we are finally to start another topic, this time with why do I behave this way. for this section we will go through the following questions: “Why Can't I Focus?”, “I Am Getting Old, Why Do I Keep Wanting Things?” “Usually I Am Well Behaved.. So Why Did I Lost My Temper?” “Why Do I Lie To People When They Ask Me Something?” “I Have Phobias: wWhat Can I Do?” “Last Week I Did Something Dangerous.. Why?” “Why Do I Keep Watching The Same Shows’” “Why Do I Embarrass Myself In Front Of Important People?"

“Why Can't I Focus?”

What happens in the unconscious brain: 

Everyone knows what attention is but few really knows how it works

In psychology, attention refers to the cognitive process of selectively concentrating on a discrete aspect of information, whether considered subjective or objective, while ignoring other perceivable information.

There’s several types of attention such as: sustained, selective, divided and alternating. 

The information received from our senses passes through the brain's processing system, but is weakened so that it can pass through the system at an unconscious level

Which is the reason we are able to do things without fully paying attention to it or through mechanical actions. Yet our subconscious is still able to visualize the entire information, it just processes it to keep the most important information. 

For example in some cases of Autism Spectrum Disorder, their brain/subconscious is unable to filter the information which makes them sensitive to stimulus and more aware of their environment. 

To resume it all, our attention is a dynamic and competitive system. During the processing of information, our attention amplifies some information while inhibiting others. 

To the question, why can't I focus, can have several answers. Anxiety and other psychological disorders or symptoms can have an impact on the brain processing system,  but the most common known impact is screen time 

The problem with screen time, such as phones or laptops or tv, it's the fact that they put all the things that attract attention together in a practical package, and add some addictive brain chemicals for fun.

One can be more sensitive when looking through a phone. you are receiving a text and your brain’s attention focuses on that.  After the text, you will see other notifications and this process is proven to have the same effect than opiates drugs have. 

Of course the process of focusing can also have other origins and will depend on your health and your environmental factors around you. 

If you are interested in more of these topics you can check the works of Broadbent, Cherry, Skinner, Treisman and Helmholtz as they have the best insight on attention and perception theories in psychology and neurology.

So what can we do?

The first thing we can do is try to understand why it is causing us to lose focus. Is it the screen time? Is it an underlying medical condition? Is it your emotions? are there any other bio-environmental factors? by pointing out what is causing the trouble, we can start working on it

We humans, we possess a limited quantity of attention and thus it's important to try and care for it the best we can

Some solutions can be used to try and regain focus on your everyday tasks such as: limiting screen time, using a reward recompense system with your causes of losing focus, setting boundaries and limits to when and where to use screen time, helo through medication and/or therapy depending on each one case 

You can also re-learn to stay focus. For that you can start doing simple activities like: studying (without screen time), reading, practicing yoga or meditation, playing board games or doing cognitive exercises specialized in attention. 

Now, you know where to work to become a better version of yourself 

[extrakatelyn]

*extrakatelyn’s personal growth may challenge*

this month i’m going to be doing a challenge to create better habits for myself and to help me achieve my personal goals quicker. its going to consist of manifestation/affirming, healthier habits, productivity, building discipline for myself, and basically becoming a better version of me! ofc while staying true to who i am through and through.

drink more water

i recently got a stanley that has me drinking more water but i’m not very consistent w it so i would like to make it a habit everyday to drink more water out of it

start exercising more often

i am also not super consistent with working out or anything like that. i’m going to be paying for a gym membership myself so that will definitely have me working out on a consistent basis.

affirming & manifesting

i unfortunately do have a habit of being pessimistic and talking horrible so I’m taking the initiative this month to start talking more positive everyday. including affirming myself and manifesting the life that i truly deserve!

trying out new baking recipes

i always been into baking but i have gotten more into it recently so this may I’m looking forward to trying out some more recipes and really perfecting my craft.

becoming more disciplined

overall i need a reset in discipline. i used to have it but have lost it over time so I’m now gonna really work hard in this area because its gonna help me in all the other areas i want to improve really.

build my savings more

i think we allll have a habit of buying the things that we want even though we know we should be putting that money in our savings or taking out money in our savings to buy something we really want. this month I’m putting a complete stop to that and I’m going to budget my money accordingly bc one of the best things you can have is a financial backing for a rainy day.

start actually getting ready for the day

i will quite literally stay in bed for the whole entire day, so Im definitely changing that this month by trying to get up and get ready for the day. including doing my hair and my makeup. I’m too gorgeous to not showcase my beauty as often as i do.

journaling

i was consist with journaling everyday for about 2 months but i stopped in march and would def like to get back into it bc it helped me sm

[feel completely free to join in with me in this challenge and even add some things of your own! its totally customizable. I will be checking in on here periodically to tell you guys my progress as well as the things I've done to help me get to my goals]

xoxo

𝑒𝓍𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓀𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃💋

[saythenameritwika]

My life as a Carat...(an analysis)

2022: This was when I first became a Carat through FTS and HOT. Seventeen was like destiny to me. Their music was perfect for me and the members fit into my life like they were always meant to be there. And when Dino became my bias, it was like I finally discovered what true love was. Seventeen came into my life when I didn't have anything to look forward to. When I was just existing instead of living with no color to my life whatsoever. They came into my life and gave me so much to wake up for, everyday. They painted my black-and-white life in rose quartz and serenity colors.

2023: Loving Seventeen came naturally to me, now. I could talk about them to anyone for hours but I also wanted to keep them close to my heart because no one would understand just how much these boys mean to me. Seventeen helped me through a time in my life where I had no one. Where I changed a lot and left a lot behind. But Seventeen stayed with me, even through that. They showed me that even though I've changed, deep down I'm still me. They showed me that even though I've given up on most of my relationships with other people, the relationship I have with them is something that can't be broken. They became the only constant I have in my life.

2024: Now, Seventeen has become something I can't even separate from who I am. If you wanna take Seventeen away from me, you will inevitably take away a part of me as well. Each day feels like another reason to be grateful to these boys for how much happiness they give me. Their tiniest wins feel like wins for me. Hell, I want to make them win in whatever way possible. I want to see them smile more because their happiness is inevitably my happiness as well. And I know for sure that whatever happens, in 2 years or 20 years, Seventeen is something that will never go away from my life. They are me and I am them.

I can't even put into words how much Seventeen has changed my life for the better. They give me things to look forward to every single day. They make me excited about life in a way I have never felt before. They stay with me through my darkest times when even I don't know myself. They make me feel emotions I have never felt before, for anyone. They teach me what love, friendship, and family mean. They inspire me to be a better version of myself. They show me that in the end, everything will work out exactly like I want. They show me that I will get to where I want to go one day, no matter the difficulties. They believe in me more than I believe in myself sometimes. They show me what true happiness looks like. They've shown me that destiny really exists. I was destined to meet Seventeen in this lifetime, and I was destined to never leave them again, no matter what. And one day, when I become the person I've always wanted to be, I know I would feel grateful to not only myself but to them. My first, last, and only loves, my Seventeen 🩷🩵.

[dailywusiala]

english translation of this paywall-hidden interview:

find the german version here

Jamal Musiala is only 21 years old, but he is already a key player for the German national team. He has only just moved into his first own apartment. A conversation about growing up in the public eye and dreams outside of sports.

After training with the national football team, Jamal Musiala arrives in high spirits for his interview with WELT AM SONNTAG at the Adidas Homeground, the training facility of the German Football Association in Herzogenaurach. Inside the building, golf bags are lined up for the players to use during their free time. Musiala examines them closely. "I need to stay up to date when it comes to equipment," he says with a smile.

A few days later, he will play an outstanding international match, scoring one goal and assisting three more in a 5-0 victory against Hungary in the Nations League.

WELT AM SONNTAG: Mr. Musiala, do you play golf?

Jamal Musiala: Yes, but I haven’t played in a long time. Thomas Müller and Harry Kane, my teammates at FC Bayern, are very good golfers. Thomas is the better of the two – at least that's what he says (laughs). So I definitely need to practice again to get on their level.

WAMS: There’s a stereotype that golf is more popular with people over 30. Do you feel too young for this sport?

Musiala: Not at all. Golf is just fun.

WAMS: You’ve already won the German Championship four times, two European Championships, played in a World Cup, appeared in 34 international matches, and over a hundred games for FC Bayern – and you’re only 21. Recently, you moved out of your mother’s house.

Musiala: Yes, I moved from my mother’s house into an apartment. It’s a bit different now, but I like it. I really enjoy having my own peace, as we say in English, my own space where it’s quiet. What I really miss, though, is my mom’s delicious food. But I’ve found a good solution – and I enjoy cooking myself now and then.

WAMS: Are you a good cook?

Musiala: Not at all (laughs). But, like with golf, I just enjoy it.

WAMS: But you can manage to make your beloved Maultaschen?

Musiala: Yes, they’re easy. But I can’t eat them too often.

WAMS: At the Euros, you were the top scorer with three goals, along with five other players. Have you set up a trophy room in your first apartment yet?

Musiala: I don’t have much space, so I’ve left all the trophies at my mom’s house.

WAMS: Others your age are just moving into shared apartments, studying, or starting apprenticeships. You debuted in the Bundesliga at 17. How much do you actually experience the everyday reality of your generation?

Musiala: I’ve been in the football world from a young age, so I don’t have many friends outside of sports. I’d like to have more, but you can’t force it. Friendships are important to me. As a teenager, I was in the FC Chelsea Academy, and that’s where friendships formed that have lasted to this day. That means a lot to me.

WAMS: If you hadn’t become a footballer, what do you think you’d be doing today?

Musiala: Funny that you ask, because I was just thinking about that a few days ago. I would definitely do something creative. Maybe study architecture or work as an architect. I always enjoyed drawing in school.

WAMS: Your first own apartment, your fifth season with Bayern, your fourth year in the national team – your nickname "Bambi," which teammate Leroy Sané gave you because of your skinny legs, no longer really fits. Does this current phase of your life feel like growing up?

Musiala: I don’t mind the nickname Bambi; anyone can still call me that. Of course, I’ve grown with experience and I’m no longer the Bambi player. I’ve been through a lot at a young age, and hopefully, there will be many more games and titles to come. Consistency is key, and I do everything I can to maintain that. I rely on good routines and take care of my body.

WAMS: It’s said that you also do a lot of individual training in addition to your team practices.

Musiala: That basically started in our garden when I was a child. My dad played football himself and always told me, "Your coaches will do everything they can to help you become a pro, but the extra effort, the extra miles, you have to do yourself. No one will force you to do that. That drive has to come from within." I thought that message was cool and it made sense. I still take it to heart and always think about what I can do to take another step forward. No matter how many titles I win or how much my status changes, my work ethic and mentality won’t change. I’ll always look for ways to improve and stay open to learning and growing. This mindset has always worked well for me.

WAMS: You also do neuro-athletic training. What exactly do you train?

Musiala: It’s mainly about stability and movement. We train my eye speed, which is very important for my turning movements and positioning on the field. The faster my eyes move, the quicker I can anticipate. The first touch of the ball is often decisive, and this training helps me execute the ideas I have on the pitch.

WAMS: You mentioned your routines earlier. What do they look like?

Musiala: For example, I have a set routine on matchdays. I always take a nap in the afternoon, and then I recite my affirmations. I always step onto the pitch with my right foot. And if I’ve scored a goal – whether for Germany or Bayern – I wear the same pair of boots in the next match until I stop scoring (laughs).

WAMS: What affirmations do you say?

Musiala: They’re affirmations that I’ve tried out and developed over time, and they work well for me.

WAMS: Can you share one with us?

Musiala: Sorry, that’s like making a wish when blowing out birthday candles – you’re not supposed to tell anyone.

WAMS: Who is the most important advisor in your life?

Musiala: I listen a lot to my coaches and teammates, and to the feedback from my family and close friends.

WAMS: Young adults your age are often referred to as the “TikTok generation.” Do you check the feedback on social media?

Musiala: Not much. After a match, I do look at the comments sometimes. Using social media is normal, I think, but over time I’ve learned to distance myself from it. I don’t need it. Negative comments can bring you down.

WAMS: So you haven’t left an angry or praising comment on your idol Stephen Curry’s social media accounts yet?

Musiala: (laughs) Now that you mention it, maybe I’ll do that with a fake account. No, Curry knows how good he is. What he did at the Olympics was incredible. He represents top performance and entertainment. And he never makes unnecessary moves just to show off. He always focuses on the team. That’s the standard I want to live up to as well. I want people to come to the stadium and enjoy watching me, while I always give everything for the team. I can learn a lot from Curry.

WAMS: Do you watch a lot of NBA?

Musiala: Every Warriors game. I’m a real fan. I’m really excited for the season to start again in October. I thought the Warriors would make a few more trades, get a few more players, but okay – we’ll see how the season goes.

WAMS: Teammates and coaches describe you as very down-to-earth. Yet your rise from talent to star was rapid; over five million people follow you on Instagram, and you’re seen as the future of German football. How do you manage to stay grounded?

Musiala: That has a lot to do with how I was raised and how my parents brought me up. I just stay the way I am – open and respectful to people. You always get that back. Fame and money might change the lifestyle a bit, but not my values and attitude.

WAMS: With Thomas Müller, Manuel Neuer, Ilkay Gündogan, and Toni Kroos having retired from the national team, are you now expected to step up as a leader? Is that what coach Julian Nagelsmann is expecting of you, despite your young age?

Musiala: At the Euros, I realized that I can take on more responsibility. But all of us have to take responsibility on the pitch. We help each other. The more experience I gain, the more I’ll grow into a leadership role.

WAMS: Nagelsmann recently announced the new team council, and you’re not part of it – which record national player Lothar Matthäus criticized.

Musiala: That’s totally fine with me. We have a very open relationship with each other and with the coaching staff. Whenever I want to express my opinion or it’s asked for, I’ll say it. I don’t have to be part of the team council to be a leader. I’ve known Julian for quite a while, and we get along really well.

WAMS: After the quarter-final exit at the Euros in Germany, Nagelsmann set the goal for the 2026 World Cup: "We want to become world champions." How realistic is that?

Musiala: We can definitely win the title in 2026. With a bit more luck, we would have at least made it to the semifinals at the Euros. As a team, we've made good progress recently and will continue to develop over the next two years. We’ve learned from the Euros and want to go far in the World Cup.

WAMS: What are your personal goals for the coming months?

Musiala: I always want to be better than in the previous season. I want to further improve my strengths and work on the things I didn’t do so well recently.

WAMS: What are those things?

Musiala: Decision-making – making the right decision quickly on the field; there’s still room for improvement. That’s crucial in football. I also want to get into more scoring positions. That worked well during the Euros. I definitely want to get into the penalty area more often. That’s why I was very happy to score a “simple goal” recently for FC Bayern in Wolfsburg, where I was in the right place to tap it in.

WAMS: You once mentioned a principle for your play: no dribbling in your own half.

Musiala: That’s not always the case, but it's generally true. Recently, at Bayern, I’ve been positioned deeper during build-up play, so sometimes you need to dribble to start an attack and pull an opponent out of position. I do what the situation requires. In football, anything can happen, something unexpected. Intuition and anticipation are crucial.

WAMS: You were influenced by English football as a youth – and you’ve moved around quite a lot in your young life…

Musiala: … very often, yes.

WAMS: You were born in Stuttgart, then moved to Fulda because your mother Carolin began her studies there. From there, she took you to Southampton for an Erasmus program, then back to Fulda. Chelsea scouted you, and you moved to London – and eventually to Munich when you joined Bayern. Where is home for you?

Musiala: That’s something we’ve often asked ourselves within the family. For me, home is where I live. And where my family is. They are the most important thing in my life. We have a very close bond. That will never change. I have a younger sister and a younger brother. The fact that we siblings tease each other for fun will never change either.

WAMS: Are you already thinking about starting your own family?

Musiala: I’ve always been a family person. But I haven’t thought about starting my own family yet. I don’t have a timeline for that. I like my life the way it is right now. Football, occasionally going out with friends – it’s perfect for me at the moment.

WAMS: One of your best friends is Joshua Zirkzee from Manchester United, and you were recently on vacation together in the USA. He recently told a fan that he tried to convince you to move to United.

Musiala: Friends always joke and dream about playing on the same team one day. The teasing goes both ways: I also told Josh to come back to Bayern. But you shouldn’t take that too seriously.

WAMS: Your contract with FC Bayern runs until the summer of 2026. How much would you like to play for a global club abroad someday? Your friend Jude Bellingham moved from Borussia Dortmund to Real Madrid.

Musiala: I’m very happy at FC Bayern and fully focused on our goals with the club and the national team. I don’t give much thought to where I’ll be playing in five years. In the football world, things can change quickly.

WAMS: Mr. Musiala, what is a dream you have for your life outside of sports?

Musiala: I would love to go on a world tour. You need time for that, though. Between seasons, I only have a maximum of three weeks of vacation, and that’s not enough. It was exciting to visit the USA for the first time. For example, I was fascinated by Las Vegas. I’m also very interested in many Asian cities. Discovering countries and cultures is fun and broadens your horizons. Someday, I’ll travel a lot. In ten to fifteen years, I’ll start planning that more seriously.

[mellpoint]

Living Moments: 1-Lifelines

You ever sit and think, ‘Who is this entire world am I thankful for for keeping me here? For pushing me a little harder and a little further?”

I have. And as cliche as it may seem, I owe it all to my kids and my fiancé.

I know you’re probably thinking that I am crazy or sappy or whatever t is you may think, but truthfully, I couldn’t and wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them.

You see, before I met him or had my kids, I had already attempted to unalive myself 3 times, and I was only 17.

I met him when I was 18, and since then, throughout all the good and bad we have experienced, I wouldn’t ask or want anyone else next to me. He has helped me get out of my shell, he has taught me how to love myself. He has given me new experiences in life that I don’t think I would have had with anyone else or by myself. We have grown side by side slowly into the people we want to be and the person we want next to one another. We have learned new things from what the other one has interest in and we have found things to share as well.

I wont sit here and say that all this time it has been nothing but sunshine and rainbows, because it hasn’t. But even when all we did was argue for endless days, we still found ways to be there for one another. No matter how mad or disappointed we were with the other at the time, if one of us called the other needing help or whatever the situation may be, we were there in a heartbeat.

Now I still see him grow as an individual everyday but also as a father. And let me tell you, it is the most rewarding feeling in the world to see him grow and become the person he is today.

As for my two sweet blessings, I know I know. Everyone that has a kid say that they are their life line. But I truly mean it. If it wasn’t for my girl, my first born, I probably would’ve attempted my life once again. But she gave me a new way to see life. A new meaning to everything and an endless inspiration for life.

Being pregnant with her was amazing but it never truly hit that I was now a mother, not until I held her in my arms for the first time. It was as if my heart took its first beat and I had seen the most beautiful thing ever created in all of existence.

Ever since I have been learning and growing with her, because let’s be honest, no mater how many parenting books are out there, there is nothing and no one to prepare you for parenthood.

Then came my boy. My sweet chunky man. I couldn’t imagine not holding his weight every day. I couldn’t imagine waking up and not seeing his sweet adorable goofy smile. When I had him it was blessing. Had wished for a boy pretty much my whole life and now having him was like when a kid asks santa for something special and they finally get it. Having both a girl and a boy has been amazing simply because I have the best of both worlds. I have a mini me and I’m also a boys mom.

I feel bad at time because my girl as the oldest gets the learning version of me. Which in return means allot of mistakes. But don’t misinterpret that. I love them both equally yet differently. And I’m sure any other parent out there with both girl and boy would understand. It’s not that we love one more than the other. Or that we give one special treatments. It’s simply a different way to loving a girl vs a boy. Yet they both receive the same amount of love.

Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without any of them. These three individuals mean more to me than words would ever let me express. And ever time I am having the slightest bit of a bad time or a bad day, I just think, “If I can’t live without them, then they can’t live without me” and my entire day gets better. Having them in my life keeps me afloat.

They are honestly and wholeheartedly my life line.

-M

[xoxitgirl]

self love essentials and why self improvement is important 🎀

SELF CARE

౨ৎ journaling prompts:

list five things you love about yourself. what are three things you can improve on? where do you want to be a year from now? how can you become a better version of yourself in this moment?

SELF CARE

- make routines; and making self care routines that are truly helping you. like making sure you get enough sleep, maintaining a good diet, journaling, doing things you like, etc.

- putting your phone on DND and listen to music or do yoga and just be in moment!

- take yourself out! it can seem intimidating but it helps with self confidence, and new experiences + creating new memories while having fun allows you to tap in w/ your inner child

- do AT LEAST one nice thing for yourself everyday! and it doesn’t have to be anything crazy but treat yourself, buy yourself some flowers, go do a lil shopping, maybe eat your fav foods and relax—as long as you’re doing something to improve your mindset and make yourself feel good.

IMPROVING YOUR LIFESTYLE

౨ৎ questions to ask yourself:

how can I improve my quality of life? am I living a life I’m proud of? Is my journey focused on anything outside of myself?

- working out, doing yoga, meditation, taking walks or hikes—literally just finding ways to nurture your body while also nourishing ur mind. doing these things can help us feel more balanced and motivated. also it can be good for us at the end of the day, if you don’t like any of the ideas listed, some more are; painting, dancing, gardening, going for a bike ride, etc.

- you want to become someone who always has xyz? one way to feel more aligned with your desired self is practicing self maintenance. view yourself as only someone who can get better, prettier, healthier, richer, and wiser. meaning that u ALREADY have these things and ur just like improving yourself along the way.

SELF MAINTENANCE

things 222 remember

I. if u want to have ur hair done all the time, start getting creative w your hair. research hair companies that send out hair or want ambassadors, start connecting w ppl around you who do hair, find hairstyles flattering for you.

II. & notice how I said ur only someone who can get better? it’s acknowledging that we are already good enough and we can only become more successful, more beautiful, and more powerful at the end of the day.

III. and I feel like this goes hand in hand w self confidence because the better u look (or the better u perceive yourself) the better u feel. and why not make yourself look how you desire so you can inherently feel positive about your appearance? like if something as simple as getting ur nails done or getting your hair done improves ur confidence, go do that shit! it really goes further than you’d think

[themoodyestj]

where did you get the idea that i hate you? couldn't be farther from the truth!

i only do this because i love you!

i just want the best for you, because cleary you are miserable, and i want you to be the better version of yourself, because clearly you are not enough as you are.

also, nobody loves you, trust me, every single person around you is there out of pure interest, clearly you need to find better acquaintances.

this might sound like i just dont like you at all, but i swear this is not hate, is just criticism.

❤️ your secret admirer.

Was that supposed to teach me a lesson? You know what? You totally can! Write a post about it, with all the things you dislike about me. I mean, on your platform, where I can see it only if I want to. I mean, a lot has been said about me already, over one post, on another social media and my inbox. You think I care? I don't. I'd care if it was for real. I'd sting if my life was miserable. Again, look, if you think this through and you use your brain for more than delusion, youd see it very clearly. If I went on Tumblr and said that the Lord Almighty will make rain hamburgers tomorrow, everyone would laugh at me. I wouldn't get hate in my inbox, id probably get friends requests from people trying to get me help. Or, most likely, I'd get nothing. Because people would read and think "Yup, just another cuckoo on Tumblr". But your hate is acting as validation, you liking it or not.

Because people will only get offended with things they identify with or consider to be remotely valid.

This is basic psychology, and we're all victims of the same thing. When you say no one loves me, it doesnt affect me at all, because I know thats not true. I have a beautiful life. And man, I want to become a better version of myself, Im not done improving. Thats why I learn and study everyday. And although I am enough, I want to be more. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be more. It's called evolution. Mistakes are not final flaws someone needs to learn with. They're stepping stones! What you see as me pointing out Jensen's mistakes, is actually me wanting for him to learn from them. And if Jensen read this (which i have zero expectations of) and didnt identify with anything I wrote and laughed at me, I would totally be ok with it. Because thats one of the situations where I dont want to be right. So worst case scenario, he doesnt agree with me. I can easily live with that. Anyhoo, did you get my point? Do you understand my post, in my very little blog, is a grain of sand no one will look much at until you delulus start giving it attention? People, come on, it aint quantum physics, ok? I know the delulu is strong, but you must have at least some parts of your brain working. At this point, youre just coming to my inbox to get dissed. Bye bye, secret admirer. :D

[boxwinebaddie]

miss ninaaa why did u delete the kyley b origin story jewelery ask, i was IN LOVE with ittt

Anonymous asked:

wha happened to the kyley b post i miss iy already nina :(

AAAAAAAAH. :'( </3

so when i went to bed last night, i saw this first anon and already felt bad, but now that this second one has come in, i just want to say...

...that i am so, SO sorry, my loves.

and to quote every bad movie breakup scene ever:

it's not you, it's me.

( and specifically my very fucked up brain. )

HERE is the link to the kyley b (jew)elery origin post.

i plucked it out of the lost and pound just for you.

i'm...sorry, i deleted it.

**and heavily edited it; it was bugging me.

the short version of my answer is that i developed a very poor coping mechanism for stress/perceived inferiority where even though i love my ncu content, i convince myself that it's bad and i hate it, to the point where i 'make it disappear' so that it's no longer an eyesore.

the very long, personal mental health uncle nina psychological eval with a lowk frightening beginning and hopeful ( i think? ) end is below. tw for depressing thoughts and mentally-ill framing.

I Hope You Heal. <3

because, unfortunately, as a bipolar two girlie, i am extremely prone to spells and spirals of depression ( especially in the summertime ), which, when combined with my already self-confidence cannibalizing anxiety disorder creates a very toxic, negative, medieval torture chamber of a headspace which makes makes my brain…

Very Unwell.

in essence, because of how frighteningly fragile i become, even tiniest inkling of doubt in my mind can poison the entire inkwell...and when that happens, even though i know, deep down, in a healthy, reasonable place, that the content i curate is well-composed, well-received writing that i am passionate about and should be proud of...the cracks and fissures that form in my heart and pysche from the broiler room of pressure i put on myself to preform create several vulnerable visceral openings for My Imposter Syndrome to worm into.

but instead of whispering sweet, sweet nothings, it's doomsay screaming awful, awful Everythings! that this thing you wrote that you love? not good enough. Everyone Is Going To Hate That. the people who liked that post? they just feel sorry for you and if you had any remorse, you would feel sorry for subjecting them to something so underwhelming, stupid, embarrassing and beneath them.

You Should Delete It.

[ DELETE. ] IT.

...aaaaand because the sirens are going off in my head, i feel like the walls are closing in, i frantically press the panic button ( delete post ) and think that i am doing everyone a favor bc not only are you no longer having to read what my extremely overloaded and anxiety corroded brain has classified as "EMBARRASSINGLY BAD" work, but i no longer have to feel ashamed bc it's

Gone.

or well...Privated. ( in this case. )

because i DO work so hard on everything i post that even when i think that it is extremely underwhelming no matter what i do, it is Hard for me to delete it because of the brain-power, intensive-typing and heart that went into making them...so like...it's a strange thing because i know that it's just an echo-chamber of evil lies and untruths, but when i'm rocking back and forth, with my chest eating my knees, and my entire education degree goes out the window when i can't teach myself how to breathe because of how bad i feel...

it's hard.

but...like i tell my kindergarteners everyday.

You Can Do HARD Things.

life is not easy, but it is worth it.

loving yourself is not easy...

But YOU Are Worth It.

unfortunately, i am a better at preaching than practicing. but a large part of my irl job is modelling good behavior and on here, i was deeply moved and touched to find that so many of you think so highly of me, so i also want to model good behavior on here.

which hinges on honesty...and hope.

so, basically, i did delete my post, which is made me feel good in the moment, but overall is not kind to myself ( or to the people who enjoyed reading the thing i randomly killed with knives and hammers because it wasn't 'Perfect' ) and i do not like modelling avoidant behavior, but it is also important to show you that i struggle, that it is okay to feel strange and sad, but that i am working on...not deleting my posts because i am a perfectionist/scared of letting you all down.

which...was clearly not the case? Wowza.

i really did not realize so many people cared about that, aha! but please feel free to ask me anything about kyley b kyle ( i have been trying to generate my thoughts and form some hcs actually! i love him being a sardonic, smart alecky delinquent boy in giant ed hardy jeans and a million different street fighter gta rings on his fingers )

also feel free to ask me anything, flashback related, random hc related, personal or otherwise! i know i've got a ton in the box, but i promise that just because i'm going through a lot and posting sporadically, doesn't mean you have be a stranger...

Just Be Gentle.

with me and as always,

with yourselves.

-uncle nina, doing her best <3

[caw4brandon]

How AI Kills Creatives

Human beings love to express themselves in many unique ways. From dance, to singing, to creative writing and of course, by art. Artists wrestle everyday to stay relevant to the masses while doing their favorite hobbies to earn a living.

This however may become null and void as the art community is facing another difficult challenge that could put them into jeopardy. The answer as to what can pose a danger to our beloved creative types is the hot topic for this Wednesday's piece. Let's discuss the complex situation of AI Art.

- Being a Creative Online -

For as long as I can remember, Creative work is either something industrial for advertisements or for entertainment, like comic books or animated shows. Often times, it involves expressive and also very dead people of influence like [Van Gogh], [Picasso] and [Da Vinci]

This however changed when the world was introduced to the internet. Allowing creative work to be presented to the masses, pass the borders and beyond. A timeless time capsule of creativity that can reach places traditional methods failed to do at rapid speeds.

Places like [Artstation], [DeviantArt], [Behance] and [Pixvi] are some of the most popular websites where aspiring artists can produce and express their craft to be shared and may potentially, give them the confidence to do commissions. These sites laid out a platform that can attract beginners and professionals alike for a chance to find an audience and develop themselves. This however, doesn’t mean an easy climb.

Creators need to combat against the algorithm and the occasional critics of these respective sites to be recognized. Creators need to claw their way out of the crowds to be graced by algorithm which means, they probably need to churn out backlogs of content to be seen and favored.

- Rise of The AIs -

A few years ago, I stumbled across a program called [Artbreeder]

Its a free to use program that allows you to create close to realistic portraits or stylized artworks by using a base picture and some photo manipulation for the desired effect. 

I myself have also used Artbreeder to create a version of my character; Sadie mac Lir based on the game version of her in HPHM.

Around that time, there was also the discovery of the mix and match dress up site by the name of [Picrew] which I too have used on more than one occasion. As time went on, better and smarter programs start appearing. Thus, allowing the masses to create scuffed or impressive images of whatever they so wish. From OCs to potential future babies to fiction turned real characters. 

At frightening speeds, AI programs created by intelligent software and application builders have grown to observe and steal from artists in various parts of the world to produce excellent works of art within seconds. Thus, threatening the very livelihoods of those who produce art as a job.

Enter the most controversial AI Art program [Lensa AI by Prisma Labs] Who is accused by multiple professional artists for committing art theft. Using the styles, compositions and signatures of said artists to reproduce works under the program's watermark.

- This is Art Theft! -

First, let's make a few things clear. I am not an expert to the subject of AI Art Theft but I highly recommend reading these few posts by better experts who can explain things better than me.

You can read [Megrae's Post] and [Jonlamart's Post] to gain a better understanding of the situation. From here on out however, I will be using my own words to breakdown how this can potentially kill the Creative community at large in the long run. Including us little guys.

To loosely summarize, the application takes a massive data collection of posts created by professional artists to be learned and recreated. Infamously, the application uses works of art by the late [Kim Jung Gi US] and others without the respective artist's permission to gain traffic and profit.

The disturbing factor in question, is that the developers of Lensa AI created this application with data that is NOT CONSENTED for such use. The program blatantly steals the artistic skills and styles of the Creative, allowing instant results via prompts which puts Creatives into obscurity. And, this is just the beginning.

Heaven knows, if the big guys in this industry are not safe from this AI. The time will come, where even small time artists will suffer such a fate.

Worst still, it places the general world view that the art community is an irrelevant industry. It takes away the trouble and cost of doing commissions and requests be a lot more to the AI's favor.

Looking into it further, a video essay by [Ana Isabel] (Which I highly recommend you watch as well) showed several other AI programs that has gotten better into writing articles via processing a database of samples and a few keywords. Thus, removing the need for a creative writer. (Like I am right now) 

What we are looking at right now is, for the first time in history. We are at odds of replacing Creatives from job opportunities. With these programs available, the phrase "Any Tom, Dick and Harry can do it" has gotten too close for comfort.

- Arguments Against AI Art -

Of course, the application can't work without us Creatives feeding the program samples and data. In some way, it still requires some form of human creativity to feed it data and develop and it also requires a little bit of luck to trigger the right prompt.

As stated in Ana Isabel’s video, some artists welcome the AI as an additional tool to help lay some groundwork for the artist to improve and build upon. Which creates a new label; [CyberArtist] or Cyborg Artist. 

Their argument is that the AI can be a helpful tool to conceptualize ideas as a first draft in productions or help with small time gigs such as promotional art or E-flyers. These Cyborg Artists also pointed out that AI Art will set a unique benchmark for what “good art” actually is, focusing more on the concept/ prompt than the process of creation.

Tempting as it may to say the world cares more about the idea than the craft. This is still detrimental to small timers or freelancers who want to pursue art as a profession with their own new ideas. It can discourage new and rising artists from chasing their ventures as they will be aware of the competition upon them.  

The comment; “it won't happen because, MY art is not that great" is not the point. If I were to guess. The AI will absorb any artwork that emits a large following and activity as food for the AI to feed and replicate which might even include doodles if left unchecked.

Although, not all hope is lost. As with these new improvements arise new problems. For that, new laws and new policies are being made to combat this troubling issue. Though not effective, it does raise the awareness. What is very important is that the general public must be made aware of such an issue. The world still looks down on Creatives, and sees their work as still "just a hobby" which is why this awareness needs to be raised and why we need to prove we are better.

On a hopeful note, AI is but an imitation of what is considered as great art but the one thing it can't ever do is produce Personal Art. It can't emote the hard hours spent, the process of improvement, the personalized charm, and the very heart that the artist cares about the audience.

That is something the AI CAN’T ever do. Its easy to feel fear knowing that the days as a Creative is numbered now that everyone can have access to such a program and to some, it may even be disheartening. But be aware that the True Value of an artist is the heart they have to share their craft. To show the imperfections and to do so anyway because they believe it inspires people. That is perhaps, what AI Art can’t ever kill.

To give because they enjoy the fun of it.

Thanks for reading

- Caw4B -

[purpleglitterlamp]

Perfect day affirmations.

I am grateful to be alive and healthy.

I am disciplined.

Everyday i wake up to an even more abundant day ahead of me.

I am the luckiest person on this planet.

I appreciate myself.

I become a better version of myself every passing day.

I always get what i want.

My self concept is perfect.

I am successful.

I utilise my time effectively and efficiently.

I am productive.

I am healthy and wealthy.

I am abundant and divinely protected.

I trust the universe.

I don't chase i attract.

I achieve my goals everyday without fail.

I am at peace.

I am confident.

Mini vaunt

No matter what the day is it's always perfect for me because i always get what I want no matter what. I don't whine about stupid things and stress about what is wrong with my life cus my life is absolutely perfect any challenges I have I overcome them with ease and I learn from them. My skin glows everyday I radiate confidence and vibrant energy. I trust myself to achieve what I want. I am worthy of my desires, I am worthy of love, success and happiness. My mind is calm and my heart is at peace. I am blessed with massive abundance in my life. I trust that all the decisions I make will lead me to my greater good. I am proud of myself. I am disciplined once i set a goal I achieve it with ease. I am the golden child of the universe. I am living my best life surrounded by positive energy.Everyday is a good hair day for me.

(all pictures are from pinterest, will probably edit this post in the future)

with love, purple ♡

[speyeralling-down-thy-majesty]

Statement of Amelie... Amelie the Spiral Librarian, regarding their backstory. Statement provided directly by subject,March 01st,2023.

I think my name is Amelie Alice Liddel. I can't remember my birthplace,nor my family.Did I even have one? I wish I knew,some true,untwisted knowledge would be nice. I'm not even sure if my name is something that was given to me or something I came up with myself…

One thing I clearly remember, though,is how and why I ended up here, working at the institute.

You see, I always loved books. Letting myself get lost in the unreality, drinking in the knowledge and the words. Escaping the boring everyday life. I would spend hours reading, ignoring the reality outside the pages.

I was always curious too,and that hunger to know everything,even the most obscure things only strengthened as time passed by. And books were the perfect gateway. They were fascinating and so entrancing!!

So, I decided- I want to spend more of my life being surrounded by what makes me the happiest. Books. Working as a librarian became my ultimate goal. Afterall, what's better for a book lover like me than to be surrounded by books full time?

With a fresh degree,and no experience ,silly little overambitious me applied as a librarian at The Magnus Institute, almost as a prank. They were losing their mind from happiness after receiving an answer. They were accepted!

It was all I wanted and more. I loved taking care of books, protecting them, losing myself among them,in a way... But you see, I was always oh so controlled by my curiosity,like Alice in Wonderland.

One day, I came across the most gorgeous book. Shimmering, seemingly shifting with strange colours,cover adorned by interlocking spirals and fractals divine. I needed to read it. It. Called. To . Me.

And so I did. It told me things. So... Many... Things... Things that could never be possible, truths that were wrong,so,so many things that they couldn't comprehend,too much,too many and it made my head hurt. I forced it close, I oh so hoped it will make it stop. I just wanted to forget what I read,erase my mind from the overload of strange knowledge, changing my perception of reality.

Oh but it didn't stop.

I started hearing whispers, taunting, begging, pleading me to just open the book once more. Promises to make it go away,unaltering my reality and untwisting the knowledge I gained.

The strange fractals I saw haunted me every time I closed my eyes or lost focus.

I also developed a headache that nothing would soothe,a mad pain. Trust me, I've tried. I took so many different types of painkillers, disregarding my physical wellbeing. After all, nothing else matters much when you're being driven mad by pain. You just want it to stop. One way or another.

My dreams were haunted by an endless library, getting lost in it,trapped in seemingly ever shifting shelves. I remember reading books that didn't make sense. Written in symbols I couldn't comprehend,yet my mind forced me to understand them. I don't know how,but it did. I am certain that knowledge was forced into my mind.

Later on I noticed how looking in the mirrors only showed a warped reflection… My eyes weren't the same as well. They seemed to swirl in spirals of strange colors,not unlike those of the cover of the book that doomed me. It hurt to look at myself. I don't think I could even comprehend what I saw,and how much of it was still me.

And yet, nobody else saw anything wrong with me. To everyone else,the book was normal. Even I myself looked normal. I don't think I believed them. How could they not see,not know,that I was becoming a twisted version of myself?!

It overwhelmed me so much… No one believed me when I told about the ways my self has changed. They just looked at me as if I was going insane. Looking back with the knowledge I now have, I probably was.

The whispers coming from the book were deafening and I've been having intense nosebleeds as it went on,for months now. My body was giving up, and I had to make a choice- death or finishing what I started. So I picked up that damn book again, taking time and care to understand it,in hopes it will fix something,and this time? Everything made sense. The clarity and joy was overwhelming,the happiness maddening!! And so I laughed. Laughed for way too long that should have been possible,but I didn't care.

The joy was immense ,and I felt one with that book,in a strange way,as if we were twisted together. We were one.

I don't remember much about what happened after. I just remember the ease with which I was capable of twisting and distorting truth, playing with reality,and enjoying the fear. I realised I could ask people questions,and have them answer it truthfully,and then use that knowledge to drive them mad. It was so satisfying to watch the fear in their eyes, having them realise they revealed their deepest secrets to me. It was fun convincing them of the many ways it wasn't true, watching them lose trust in their mind,the only thing they thought would never betray them.

I don't think I regret opening the book. Sure,there are times I miss being human,but I'm still doing what I love atleast. I'm still surrounded by books, still a librarian,even if serving two fears.

I no longer trust my own mind though. I am not sure how much of this is true,how much of it is a lie given to me by The Twisting Deceit. It is terrifying, sure,but I've grown fond of the madness. The Eye sometimes gives me fragments of truth,sure,but most of what I remember is… not something I'd rely on. There's a certain freedom in insanity, though! A certain messed up comfort in no longer caring.

Statement ends.

[quantum-bliss]

Day 8 of Heartbreak (never posted)

I dreamt of you last night. We were hanging out at your place, it seemed like it would be a friendly reminder of the good times we shared. It wasn't. Soon after many strangers came in, strangers to me not to you. Everything felt unfamilar, including you.

I went to restroom and over heard your company talking about me, I could tell you were comfortable with them and I wondered why you never told me about them. I left because I began to feel like I was imposing, like I didn't fit in with this part of your life.

I decided to go back home, at which point army helicopters began landing in the area. They were attempting to hold people captive and I worried if you were safe. I almost got held captive but I escaped. When I made it home I called you immediately. The new people in your life picked up, I didnt get the chance to talk to you. It was then that I realized I probably never would get a chance to speak to you again.

Its weird the way the mind and heart work together. I guess the brain tried to make sense of my emotions through the dream. The feeling of being abandoned, betrayed, replaced. The feeling of being at war. Im not at war against you, I am at war against myself.

You see, when someone hurts you, your heart changes shape. The person who hurt you may feel like you dont love them or you dont forgive them, but thats not it at all.

Your heart is no longer the same shape, which means you are no longer the same person. You try fit that person into your heart, but the spot they used to fit in is no longer accessible. You cant figure out where to place them no matter how hard you try.

Even you yourself do not recognize this new heart and you dont know what this means for your future. All you know is things are different, you are different. This is the war against oneself.

Everyday I try to return to normal but I cant. Im not the same person and I have to fight against the part of my heart that wants to become smaller. I have to fight my thoughts and emotions that want to destroy the love inside me. I have to fight to believe in the goodness of people and life. I have to fight to become a better version of me instead of the destructive one.

This is why everyday of heartbreak feels different, because some days I am winning the battle, some days I am losing the battle, but in all day I am at war. No sorry, no guilt, no regret, no shame, no words can change that.

You too must fight your own war as I fight mines. It is my hopes that one day we will both wave our flags high in the air at victory. Till then we will have blood on our hands, wounds on our bodies, and hearts that ache through the night.

[ace-of-gay]

Happiness greed?

Steve rogers x reader

Warnings: depressing a self depreciating/ destructive thoughts, mental health, physical ailments, being held still, head banging, angst with a tiny little piece of fluff in there but not alot, this is a very self indulgent fic with a terrible mental thought process that i still deal with but am working on healing myself from this is putting you into my shoes from a few years ago shifted a little with how someone helps you, to fit it into a fanfic.

No pronouns or skintone used or implied

Welcome to all body types

1,353words

Edited to the best of my ability

Im being serious as ever when i say this, the thought process in this may be triggering for some, if you are struggling with mental health and are impulsive on it or triggerd easily do not read this, you are responsible for your own media consumption especially after two sets of warnings.

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

Neutral for you was normal, but if you happened to explain Neutral people would probably fear for you, all your life you’ve been shut down and walked all over, never given a chance to have someone listen to your desperate cries for help.

So be it, you shut all emotions out and after enough time Neutral became safe, a cascade of walls to surround the figmented little version of yourself that lives inside your head, screaming, begging, desires so sick all behind a straight face, it was easier to be what you needed for others than the other way around.

Maybe it led to frustration and pessimism and really by Maybe I mean it does, its like drowning to the point the deep end becomes your air.

After so long of walking in darkness your eyes dry of trailing useless tears that you start to see the tiny glints of others happiness.

Your body doesn't deserve happiness, it hurt you, all you wanted was happiness and everyone else on a parallel path said that the doctors could fix you how they did them so you tried it, you sought help.

But your body became a vessel of negative reaction, no one would listen, every moment it continued the worse it got, the convulsions, the tremors the tics, your body no longer yours but freedom to chemical derangement, just a happiness greed.

Emotions being turned off, if everyone else can ignore them surely you can as well, your mind finding itself to be on autopilot almost always there for someone else’s desires, take take take, desperately feed their desperation from a merely empty wishing well.

Drowning in burning chemicals and bodily ailments but everyone else’s rose tinted glasses cancel out the crimson words figuratively written in vein.

For some time you could push through it even while watching peter parker golden retriever teen bounce around the halls or the bump in Steve’s step, it took him years and years of therapy to get where he’s at.

Therapy, it only works for people who deserve it, who have a reason, and you’ve helped everyone you know without being a licensed therapist but the doctors cant fix you, its a sickening feeling, you’re only here to make people feel better, surely somehow you deserve to as well right?

Everyone greets you with kindness and than there’s Steve, you don’t realize he sees it, he sees himself in you he tries to check how you’re doing everyday but your mind has written rules that if anyone ever asks the dreaded "how are you" it give in return a chuckle and "debatable" to let it all carry on.

Lost in your mind there’s just something desperately different about the way today etches in your chest, but you wont find out why until later.

A façade on your slate you head out to meet up with the team in the common room, the only reason you get out of bed is because you cant help remind yourself of everything everyone else has gone through.

Oddly enough your day went by with a breeze, you cant remember much of it but in this case its good, you got done with work around five giving yourself time to finally eat and than go about your personal life for as long as your head will let you.

You end up in a call with one of your friends, everyone would think that’s great but its the type of phone call that only happens when you’re needed to be someone else’s serotonin service.

Letting them rant is the best you can do but when they just go on and on about the same thing it bores into time you could have spent trying to chill the once rolling fire now scolding drilling agony of a spike in your migraine. Your neck twitching from medically induced illness, happiness is a drug and it one you cant get addicted to, what good is a dealer to be addicted to their own give, easy answer they’re not, they would just take it all for themselves. But greed for your own space is all it is that you feel so as you sit there listening to them drone on your mind fills with the sound of tv static.

the one tremor that really causes issues sets in, you cant fight the fragment false signals that come from the remnants of serotonin syndrome damage, like a shiver in the cold your jaw rattles and tremors, the person finally hangs up and you’re left alone in agony.

The dark of the room seeping to your thoughts you cant even feel the rapid jolts in your body, your body lurching forward and than relaxing and lurching once more over and over until the direction of everything's torment shifts.

*thud* and your head slams backwards into the wall, you don’t have the strength to move, again *bam* the sound resonates through the floor followed by choked trembling sobs, your hands so numb but electricity coursing through your arms, you can taste the blood of despair in your mouth *thud* you have no control of anything happening but the tears and sobs.

Your eyes fluttering in time with your jaw causing a strobing affect... strobing? *thud*

And in seconds you feel a hand cushion behind your head, pulling you into sitting in-between their legs, your back to their chest.

They shift their hand to your forehead holding your head against their shoulder, their other arm wrapped tightly around your shoulders to keep you from lurching and slamming.

They cross their legs over yours to keep them still to not hurt yourself in your brains signals redirection of electric pulses.

Your jaw continuing and your hands trembling your body convulsing but still enough to silence the you inside your head from screaming to end it.

Your hearing coming back slowly still plagued by the beat of your heart thrumming in your ears "shhh hey were okay, you’re okay, were just going to sit he and breathe for a bit, you hear me y/n? I’m here I’m not going anywhere."

Your hands eventually stop and you subdue your convulsions to a gentle rocking that he does with you.

Someone is finally there and you don’t need to speak, he takes his hand from your forehead as your bodies attack finally settles enough to leave you with the tremor in your jaw.

"Hey Jarvis can you ask Bucky to bring a bottle of water to y/n's room please?"

A few minutes later Bucky walks in handing the water to Steve "do you need me to stay or do you want me to go?"

"I’ve got it bud, but thank you, ill call if i need some help" leaving it to you and who you’ve determined to be Steve, his hold warm and kind, "do you think you can drink some water for me?" You nod letting him hold the cup to your mouth not yet able to move your body yourself yet.

He later helps you lay down in your bed, sitting next to you he just wants to make sure you’re safe.

"Do you want me to stay in here with you tonight?" Nodding you cant get speaking to work just yet.

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~◇~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

Its three months later, the movements, tremors, convulsions, vocal and physical tics still happen but its three months in time that you’ve been going to therapy, not to fix anything how you hoped but to learn, with Steve you’ve come to finally feel like its not greedy to want to be happy.

Happy, you still don’t feel it but you’re learning, advocating for your health both physically and mentally, its going to be a long journey, the ailments aren’t going to go away, they’re permanent damage but its not because you were greedy, its from medical malpractice.

Steve has promised he’s there for the ride of life with you, even when your body collapses and your heartrate "hits a new high score"

He’s not going anywhere, he loves you and he will make it as abundantly clear as you need him to.

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

Please know you are not alone, its okay to reach out, you are not weak you are not greedy, you are just as deserving of the help you desire as everyone one else no if ands or buts.

My messages are always always open💚