#chan

[huiracha]

BANG CHAN x FENDI for HARPER'S BAZAAR KOREA

[jinikaris]

BANG CHAN ──⋆.˚

for @kijeu, wishing you one of the happiest of birthdays ♡

[bang-chan-my-man]

[writingforstraykids]

Since I promised to not leave you bored this weekend and next week, and because I still feel like a pest, I'll send my suggestions here.

1. Vampires. No, don't you dare close this window! You revived my brain worms for this AU, it's only fair I give some to you. Maybe with Chan. Probably with Chan. Unless you get a spicy idea, uh, then not with Chan. Just please, write something in this AU. Can be where both members are vampires or one is a human (or something else, who knows), I don't care. I just need to read some vampire stuff in your style, you don't understand. I'll even act cute in return, I'm not below it, please-

2. Don't remember if I've suggested something in the Hybrid AU before, but before you get weirded out or start crying, I only want the fluffiness it can give to a story. Okay you probably knew that since it's me we're talking about, but still. I can never be too sure. Either way, how about some bunny or cat hybrid Minho who is absolutely adored and cared for by someone else? (Knowing you, it will be Chan, haha.) He needs some love now and we both know why.

3. Since I'm on an AU roll, might as well suggest another one where Felix is a mermaid! Don't care who you pair him up with, I'll completely leave it up to you so you'll have some freedom too. But think about the story. He could have found a pretty human he was enamoured by (maybe he likes pretty/shiny things and collects them, even decorates his body with them?) OR he found another pretty mythical creature. Maybe a mermaid, maybe a siren (who is their predator so that creates complications). Lots of possibilities :)

4. Lastly, to not give you an aneurysm, I'll give you a normal suggestion. MinChan where Chan is an absolute sweetheart to Minho, who worries over a comeback and nearly overworks himself? We both know why I suggested it.

If you mention hospitals even once consider my offer to act cute nullified. This is a threat.

Have fun.

ohhh I love them, hehe thank you, dear!! Sooo let's do a poll on what I should start with?👀😇🖤🖤

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Taglist (Please let me know if you want to be added to or removed from the taglist):

@zehina @jinnie-ret @slutforchanlix @atinyniki @galaxycatdrawz @silverstarburst @aaa-sia @lilmisssona @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @rebecca-johnson-28 @lixie-phoria @kibs-and-bits @xxstrayland @ihrtlix @pheonixfire777 @mellhwang @palindrome969 @theo4eve @harshaaaaa @rylea08 @heeyboooo @manuosorioh @gisaerlleri @andassortedkpop @lailac13 @bbokari711 @kazuuuaaa @rssamj @wolfyychan @stellasays45 @chrizzztopherbang @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @silentreadersthings @myforevermelody143 @sapphirewaves @minh0scat @dis-trict9 @queer-possum @james-is-here

[feelbokkie]

L♡VE IN F♡CUS | Chapter 21

WARNINGS: mention of food/eating, swearing

PAIRING: idol!Changbin x fem reader

GENRE: smau, crack, angst, fluff

P♡V: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

SUMMARY: Amateur concert photographer Y/n has recently been promoted to junior music journalist. Her first assignment? An exposé on the popular Kpop boy group, Stray Kids. Spending an entire tour doing in depth interviews with eight men seems simple enough, but one member isn't exactly open to the idea. Will Y/n be able to break down the walls around his heart, or will her big break turn into a big disaster?

TAGLIST: ♡PENED

W♡RD C♡UNT: 3,573

SCREENSH♡T C♡UNT: 2

A/N: i was going to make this a super duper long chapter but i think i'll also split this into 2

PREVIOUS | MASTERLIST | NEXT

©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

“Thank you so much,” you say. You take the drink carrier that one of the hotel staff members found and place the coffees you made for you and Wonseok inside. You make sure to carefully wrap up the Danish you grabbed earlier tightly with a napkin before putting it in your bag to prevent crumbs from getting everywhere.

It’s early. Not as early as it normally is when you go down to the complimentary breakfast at whichever hotel you’re at, but early enough for most of the good food to still be available. Luckily for you, most of the people staying at the hotel are still asleep or are already exploring the city, leaving practically no lines and making it easy for you to get what you need.

“Y/n, noona?”

You freeze at the familiar voice calling for you. You know it’s Changbin, you can recognize his voice anywhere especially when he’s trying to be quiet. Even more so when he’s calling for you. He’s developed a habit of calling your name as gently as someone would carry a newborn baby followed by ‘noona’ after a brief pause so short that anyone else would miss it.

Uncertainty laces his voice like he’s not sure it’s actually you. You think for a moment. Maybe if you pretend you heard your phone and keep walking out, then you’d be fine. You know the members tend to roam the hotel and go to the complimentary breakfast on their own. Or at least, without a member of their staff. The hotel has a lot more privacy than any restaurant they might try to go to. And if anything, the hotels are committed to keeping their complimentary breakfast exclusive to the guests so it's a bit safer for them to go off on their own without worrying about running into fans or cameras as much.

"It is you, noona," His voice is closer now, a bit more hushed. A sense of relief in his voice. "Do you want to join me for breakfast?"

You turn to Changbin, a soft smile spreads across your face at the sight of him. His hair is mostly hidden under a black beanie but you can still see some of the soft black tuffs poking out in the back. In his slightly oversized white t-shirt, distressed baggy blue jeans, and plain white sneakers he blends in with the crowd of people inside the dining area. Virtually undetectable to the public but you still can’t shake the nagging feeling at the back of your mind telling you to leave.

“You know the rules,” You remind him gently. “Besides, I’m heading out to meet with one of my best friends from back home.”

"Oh," It's subtle, but Changbin's lower lip juts out as he turns away.

It was one thing when Changbin hated you and actively tried to avoid you. It stung at first and made your job difficult when it came to the interview portion of your day. It was another when the two of you became civil. He wouldn't seek you out as much as the other members did. He'd mostly show up when one of the other members did and would engage in small conversation. But after your little mental breakdown at the start of the second tour, you've met an entirely different Changbin--the most frustrating version of him yet.

The one that pities you.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket, bringing you back to your previous task of meeting with Wonseok. “I have to go. I’ll see you at the show tomorrow,”

“Right,” Changbin nods slowly. You almost feel bad.

Almost.

You know that half of the members have schedules today. You also know that Changbin hates being stuck in the hotel room. You thought that it was something that he said as an exaggeration in an interview. But you've spent enough time with him during the tour to know that he usually would tag along with one of the other members if they were doing something so that he wouldn't be bored. But Han wasn't feeling too well after your exploration day with him and Seungmin for the "Summer A Stay" project. Minho will probably stay the day to take care of him while Hyunjin might sleep in until mid-day. Which means that by the time he wakes up, most of the day might be gone. And even if Hyunjin is ready to go out later or any of the boys who are currently working are ready to go out, Changbin is still going to be bored for several hours.

You give Changbin one more glance before you head to the front of the hotel to wait for a taxi.

"Aren't gallery openings more of an evening thing?" You ask after taking a sip of the apple cider.

"The events that I normally take you and Frankie to are," Wonseok puts a cracker with a piece of cheese in your mouth. He filled up his plate full of hors d'oeuvres enough for the two of you since you can't hold both a plate and a cup with your broken arm. "But this one is for up-and-coming artists and this is a sort of soft launch. Only the press and invited guests are allowed today. Tickets sold out for the next few months for the main event so they added today to lessen the traffic."

The two of you stand in the middle of the gallery in front of an oil painting of a large tree where the roots are sprouting from a skeleton, directly from the heart by an artist whose name you’re not even going to try to sound out, even in your head. It’s a grim painting with a message a bit too morose for you and Wonseok to be taking a snack break in front of, but it’s also the least crowded area of the gallery for now.

Your eyes focus on the child playing near the tree in the painting. “Is this the type of gallery where people can buy art or just look at it?”

“Looking to add some life to your apartment?” Wonseok smirks. Your apartment back in Seoul hardly looks lived in. You only decided to get some plants after Frankie commented on it looking like a jail cell.

You hold back hitting him playfully, not that you have an available hand to do so, and instead roll your eyes at him. “You know for a fact that I couldn’t even afford an art print right now.”

“Which is exactly why I’m paying for everything today.”

“I’ll pay you back when I get paid. I’ve had a lot of free time so I did a bunch of album reviews and introspective pieces for rookie groups. Plus I get royalties from my stuff on the company website.”

“Pretty sure that’s supposed to be resting time so you can heal,” Wonseok takes a sip of his drink, also apple cider, and slightly shakes his head in disapproval.

“I’ll have plenty of time to rest when I’m dead. For now, I need to focus on the present and I’d love to have a place to come home to once the tour is over. Can’t do that if I get evicted for not paying rent.”

Wonseok presses his lips together in a tight line as his eyes shift between you and that painting that seems to have captured your full attention. He takes the last bit of food from the plate—something wrapped in lettuce—and shoves it in your mouth before discarding the paper plate in a nearby trash can. “C’mon, let’s find you a happier piece of art to stand in front of. Look, that one has a puppy in it and a dea…okay maybe not that one. I think we saw a sculpture with butterflies when we first walked in.”

Wonseok’s hand lands on top of your head as he tries to steer you away from the tree painting that you feel strongly akin to, almost like it’s not a metaphor for life and death but a visual representation of how you feel inside. Like you’re the skeleton and everything above ground is every other aspect of your life. But that’s just how art is supposed to work, right?

Your head is turned to the left towards a small crowd standing in front of a piece of art you can’t see. You feel Wonseok pushing you towards the crowd. The two of you barely move a foot away from the tree painting when a random pain in both your stomach and chest forces you to stop dead in your tracks, causing Wonseok to stumble into you. Miraculously, your drink remains in its cup.

"Why'd you stop?"

You're unsure yourself. The strange pain you're currently feeling, although fairly new, isn't entirely foreign to you. It's not consistent either. Sometimes it feels like a vice is being squeezed around your torso. Other times it feels like a horse kicked you so hard that all of the air has left your body. Right now, it feels like you've been struck by lightning thrown by Zeus himself. You thought it was a side effect of the pain medication that you had been taking. But even after making sure you eat enough food with your medicine, the side effects never went away. So, deciding the pain in your arm is much more bearable than whatever is going on internally, you decided to go off your meds and just deal with the pain from your arm.

You turn around and point in the opposite direction at a clay sculpture. You clear your throat and try your best to keep your voice as even as possible. "Let's go look at that one instead."

Wonseok follows your hand to see what you're pointing at. "The illusion piece? We already looked at that one. I took notes on it and everything."

"Maybe a second look will inspire more questions for you to ask the artist. Perspective and all that."

Wonseok furrows his brows as he studies your face for a moment. Seemingly finding what he's looking for, he nods as his face softens. "Sure, we can go look at that one again."

The further you walk away from the crowd, the faster the pain dissipates and you let out a silent sigh of relief.

The two of you walk around the gallery a bit more, appreciating the less crowded pieces. Wonseok explains the art and techniques to you as you walk. Occasionally, Wonseok leaves you alone in front of one of the pieces so that he can interview one of the artists. You make sure to stay in his line of sight so he can find you quickly when he's done.

"Okay, I just need to find one more artist and then we can go. She's supposed to be the star of the gallery and has been someone that everyone is watching. But she's also very introverted. So far, none of the other journalists and artists have talked to her today. But she's here, I saw that she was signed in at the front desk earlier." Wonseok explains as he scribbles into his notebook.

"Is she the one who made the tree painting and other similar still-life pieces?" You ask as you look around the gallery to help find her for him. Luckily, there are pictures of the artist printed in the brochure you were given when you got in.

"Yeah," Wonseok closes his notebook and shoves it into his pocket. "She's the youngest one here too. Barely 17. To exhibit that much talent and to be featured in a gallery like this at such a young age is astonishing. Some of the stuff here she started when she was only 14."

You let out an impressed sound as you continue to scan the room. There are more people than there were earlier, making it harder for you to see through the crowds of people. You try to look past the crowds, along the walls, and in the corners. You know that if you were her, that's where you'd be if you were avoiding people.

As you scan the room, you catch a glimpse of a very familiar face, locked in focus while stroking his chin as he stares at something on the wall.

"Oh...I'm actually going to kill him..." You mumble under your breath.

"Kill who? What happened?" Wonseok looks where you're looking and tries to see what could have unsettled you.

"Right there," You whisper as you point at the man several feet away from me. "It's Seo Changbin."

"Your Seo Changbin?"

Smack

"He is not my Seo Changbin."

Wonseok stares at you with his mouth agape as he rubs the spot on his arm where you hit him. "I didn't mean it like that. When the hell did you get so strong? I just was asking if it was the same Seo Changbin that you've been complaining about for nearly a year."

"Unfortunately," You roll your eyes as you dig for your phone inside of your bag. "He better not come over here. If anyone sees us together, Yoona will have a have a field day."

"Look around, Y/n. Nobody cares that he's here. If they did, they would have swarmed him already. I promise you, nobody recognized him. It's fine,"

"Yeah but..." You look around the room again, seeing if anyone might be looking at Changbin. There are a lot of cameras around, anyone can snap a photo and upload it online.

"It'll be fine. I see the artist I need to interview right there. So let me go talk to her and then we can get out of here before you combust."

Wonseok points just behind Changbin at the girl standing off in the corner with a lanyard around her neck. Sure enough, it's the artist he's been searching for. Wonseok pats your head and starts to walk off in her direction.

"Wonnie, wait," You grab at Wonseok, successfully latching onto a bit of the fabric on the back of his shirt. "Let me go with you. I can help translate."

"I can speak English, Y/n."

"Yeah, but she doesn't know that."

"Y/n," Wonseok lets out an exasperated sigh as he looks at the artist and then back at you. Luckily for him, she hasn't caught on that she's been spotted yet. "Just go stand in that dark corner over there or hide in that bathroom. I'll be back in fifteen--twenty minutes tops. And then I will hand feed you the fish and potatoes or whatever you've been bugging me about."

You look between Wonseok's stressed yet worried face and Changbin's distracted one. If you slip away before Changbin spots you then maybe it'll be fine.

"Fish and chips," You pout.

"Yes, fish and chips. Now please, can I go interview her before she runs away again?"

Before you can finish nodding, Wonseok is off to interview the young artist. You do one more survey around the room, trying to find somewhere to hide. Conveniently, you've also lost sight of Changbin.

"Shit," you mumble under your breath. You turn quickly to disappear into the bathroom, only to be met with a wall.

You squeeze your eyes shut, preparing to hit the ground as something wraps itself around your waist. You crack one eye open and see what's around you. Apparently, the wall has arms.

"I'm so sorry...noona?" Changbin sets you upright and helps you straighten your clothes.

You quickly push his hands off while looking around. "Th-thank you,"

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. What are you doing here?" Changbin sheepishly smiles and throws his hands behind his back.

"It's fine, that's what I get for trying to run indoors." You smooth out your shirt and look up at Changbin. He's wearing the same thing he was when you saw him at the hotel. Only, he's added a dark grey long-sleeve button-up over his shirt and a pair of black-rimmed glasses. "I'm here with my friend, remember? Which staff member are you here with?"

"None," Changbin scratches the back of his head while he looks around the room. Finding what he was looking for, he smiles and waves behind you. "I'm here with Hyunjin. I had nothing to do today and he was invited so he let me tag along."

You turn around and see Hyunjin walking towards you. He's wearing a pair of black cargo pants, a leather jacket that's covering up the white graphic tee underneath, and a black bucket hat that's hiding his recently dyed ash-brown hair. Both of them stick out amongst the nice button-downs and slacks that most of the men are wearing, but you know that once they step outside, they'll blend in.

"Ah, noona, what are you doing here?" Hyunjin asks when he gets closer.

"She's here with one of her friends from home," Changbin answers for you.

"We get to meet one of noona's friends?" Hyunjin smiles. Somehow, you can't tell if it's an entirely innocent look from him.

You turn back to look for Wonseok. His back is turned to you as he continues to interview the artist about her work. No matter how many signals you throw in his direction, he doesn't turn around.

Best friend telepathy is fake.

You are consciously aware of the way that the three of you are standing. You take a small step back, ensuring there is a noticeable gap between you and them.

"Maybe..." Your voice trails off.

You're not sure why you feel so awkward right now. You're with the kids practically every day. You've spent more time with them than your friends in the past few months. Maybe it's the fact that you're trying to avoid ruining their hard work with a scandal that's making you feel uneasy. You were fine yesterday when you were with Han and Seungmin. And you had a brief conversation with Hyunjin in the hallway yesterday when you were walking back to your room after getting a bucket of ice. So why does everything feel weird?

"Noona?" Changbin calls softly, directing your attention to him.

"Huh? Sorry," You shake your head. "I'm a bit hungry so I'm not all there right now. What were you saying?"

"I was just asking if you and your friend want to join us for lunch," Changbin suggests, a large smile etched on his face.

"Um..." You turn around and see that Wonseok is finally making his way back. "I think we have a pretty packed schedule so--"

"That was quicker than I thought it was going to be but I'm done. Ready to go...Oh, they caught you."

You press your lips into a fine line and squeeze your eyes tight as you try to refrain from smacking Wonseok in front of Hyunjin and Changbin. After silently counting to ten, you slowly open your eyes. Hyunjin wears a large teasing smile as he looks between you and Wonseok while Changbin's smile is gone altogether.

"Alright, noona, we get it. We'll leave you two be." Hyunjin smirks as he nudges Changbin who has now returned to being a wall, unmovable and tall.

"What?" You tilt your head to the side and raise an eyebrow at Hyunjin.

Hyunjin looks at Changbin and gives him a strange look before turning back to you. "We see that you're...busy so don't worry about having lunch with us."

Wonseok nudges you suddenly. You turn to him to see what's wrong with him only to be met with him tilting his head towards Changbin and Hyunjin. You gently shake your head 'no,' knowing that he wants you to introduce them to him. The two of you continue to argue silently.

Stubbornly, Wonseok pushes past you and sticks his hand out in front of them. "Sorry, we're still trying to teach Y/n her manners. I'm Park Wonseok. She'll kill me if I get this wrong. You must be...Changbin and...Hyunjin?"

"You're right Wonseok...hyung?" Hyunjin asks as he takes his hand, shaking it firmly.

"Ajusshi," You cough. Wonseok's head snaps back at you, warning you silently that he'll get you later. "Sorry, I have something in my throat."

"Then I guess we should go get you some soup instead of that thing you wanted. Huh?" He smiles mischievously.

"That's not fair, Wonnie," You mumble. Suddenly, you're nerves are at ease and you're back to being calm.

"Then be nice to the person who is buying you things today." He whispers. He turns back to Hyunjin and Changbin. "Why don't the two of you join us for lunch? As a thank you for taking care of Y/n all these months. I know she can't be a pain in the ass sometimes."

"I'm not a--"

"We'd love to, right hyung? Noona doesn't talk much so it'd be fun to get to know her more." Hyunjin smiles as he looks at Changbin, who is still quietly looking between you and Wonseok.

"I don't think--"

"Perfect!" Wonseok claps his hands together. "Let's go, I know just the place too."

Wonseok grabs your good arm before you can protest further and drags you out of the gallery, Changbin and Hyunjin in tow. You repeatedly pinch Wonseok's side to get back at him. Instead of telling you to stop he slides his hand down your arm and firmly clasps your hand, swinging it back and forth between the two of you as you walk.

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

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[goskzz]

Omg, Bang Chan’s laugh literally makes my whole day! 🥹❤️

[aeri-skzver]

i have been scrolling on tik tok and tell me why i see christopher saying let’s take a train to hongkong, him looking pussy drunk asf, demonstrating how he would open a pussy and eat and the words come with me? i thought inwas finally over take a seat on my face but i was not after rewatching a clip of gim leaning his head back for the god knows how many times like he def knows stays are obsessed with that big nose the sexual innuendo is crazy he must have ate viagra or have been super horny that day like hongkong stays are super strong soldiers for being able to endure that like i fear i wouldve came on the spot. anyways i hope its not only me who thinks he definitely jerks himself off after his solo like im actually concerned how he doesn’t get hard

[qteachoice]

handsome cutie charming Kang Yuchan

[chahnniesroom]

night again

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: in hindsight, visiting chan's studio right before a comeback isn't one of your best ideas. what was supposed to be a pleasant surprise leaves you spiraling into self-doubt, wondering if chan even wants to be in a relationship with you at all.

word count: 6.4k

tags/warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, misunderstandings, insecurities, reader not eating due to stress

a/n: the long awaited 'he calls you clingy' fic! title is from the english translation of 또 다시 밤 (twilight)

read it on ao3 | masterlist

You love your job. It's challenging for sure and the expectations from upper management are often unforgiving, but you’re proud of how hard you've worked and everything that you've accomplished in the past few years at your company. 

As you've gained experience, you've slowly been given more and more responsibility. You've grown out of your junior role and though you're thrilled by the pay raise and prospect of being a team lead rather than being led by one, it's also daunting.

When you and your new team are assigned an important project with tight deadlines, you're determined to prove yourself. It's implied that you're going to have to have to dedicate a significant amount of time to finish it and while you're no stranger to long hours, it means that any plans you have of seeing your boyfriend, Chan, are out the window.

The timing is not terrible, Stray Kids has a comeback scheduled in about a week so you didn't think that you would be able to spend that much time with Chan anyway, but you usually try to surprise the boys at one of the music shows with a cake and some home cooked food.

Luckily, you've already been planning for this. Although nothing had been confirmed, you had expected that this project would be awarded to your company and you've already been trying to spend more time with Chan than usual in preparation for the busy season ahead for both of you.

Still, you can't help but agree with your best friend at work after she complains how little she's going to see her partner this month. Jinjoo doesn't know who your boyfriend is, but the two of you are close enough that you’ve shared that you have one and that work takes up a lot of his time. You've gushed to her about the sweet things that Chan has done for you and you've admitted that you think he's the one.

“You should bring him dinner sometime!” she exclaims when you mention you're not sure when the next time you'll be able to see Chan will be.

“Well, he’s really busy-” you start to say.

“That’s the beauty of it. I’m sure he would appreciate if you brought him food at work, especially if he’s anything like my partner and gets so caught up with work that they forget to eat sometimes,” she insists.

“That’s true.”

“Just trust me, Y/n. I wouldn’t be telling you this if I wasn’t sure that it’d work. My partner loves when I do this. It’s literally the perfect way to take some time for each other before you’re both too busy. Even if he's super busy, his work can't be bad enough that he’s not allowed to eat, right?”

You agree somewhat reluctantly. You're still unsure about whether or not Chan would appreciate you barging in unannounced, but it is a cute idea and Jinjoo's confidence is enough to convince you.

The next day after work, you head to the company and order takeout for a late dinner for you and Chan, picking it up along the way. It reminds you of earlier in your relationship before you had gotten your current position and when Stray Kids were just gaining popularity. Both of you enjoyed having more casual date nights that provided more privacy as opposed to going out to fancy places and it makes you even more excited to see his reaction.

About a year after you started dating Chan, he insisted that you get a pass to get into JYP Entertainment without having to fill out a visitor's form and have someone pick you up. It has definitely come in handy more than a few times, although you try to limit the number of visits you make. Even though you're allowed to be there, it still feels intimidating to be in the building, like someone is going to recognize that you're not an employee and accuse you of being a sasaeng.

Luckily the late hour means that you make it to Chan's studio without having to interact with anybody except the security at the door, who had waved you through without a second thought. You had double checked with Felix earlier in the day to make sure that Chan didn't have any schedules or dinner plans, so you directly knock on his door without texting or calling him beforehand. 

“Y/n?” he asks, a bit baffled when he sees you. “Did we- Did I forget that we had plans tonight?”

“No,” you say, a little nervous for some reason. It's just Chan, you tell yourself, but it doesn't make you feel any better. “I didn't think that you had dinner yet and wanted to see you.”

“Oh, I see. Come in,” Chan responds slowly, still processing your sudden appearance. “I just have something that I need to finish up-”

“It's fine! You can work,” you assure him quickly. “I don't want to interrupt you too much, I just wanted to drop by since I don't have plans and wanted to make sure that you're eating well.”

Chan’s studio isn’t messy at all, but he still gets up to clear some space on a side table for you, before returning back to where he has Cubase opened up. You pass over his food and feel relieved when he immediately digs in, but your appetite seems to have vanished, you can only get yourself to pick at your meal.

Chan is short with his responses all evening and continues to work on his laptop, even while eating. It throws you off a bit, you thought that he would be able to get to a stopping point and at least make a bit of time for you, but you did tell him that he could. Even so, you're determined to make the most of the last time that you’re going to see them for a while. You know they’ve been super busy the past few days, or more like the past few weeks, but still you had thought he would be a little bit more engaged or at the very least seem happy to see you.

Finally, after half an hour of eating with minimal conversation, you decide to broach the subject that’s been on your mind this entire time. Chan’s finished his food and you know that you won’t be able to get yourself to eat anymore, so you shuffle everything off to the side and inch closer to Chan. 

“You know that client we’ve been trying to work with for a while?” you start tentatively.

Chan hums noncommittally, continuing to type on his computer. Not quite the reaction that you're hoping for, but you forge on anyway.

“We got awarded the job! It’s a great opportunity for the company and everyone is really excited, but-”

“Y/n,” he interrupts. “I’m sorry, that’s amazing and all, but you know that it’s not a good time for me right now. I have something I really need to work on and now that you’ve finished eating, can we please not bother with the small talk?”

“Oh,” you say, a bit caught off guard. Chan has never been the type to cut you off when you're speaking. “No, yeah, I get it. Uhm. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, just-” he sighs, sounding frustrated. “Next time can you please ask me when you want to visit in advance so this doesn’t happen again? You chose the worst timing to come by. I just need some space, from all of… this,” he says, waving a hand between the two of you.

“Sorry, I know it’s a busy time, but I just wanted to see-”

At that moment, an alarm on Chan's phone goes off, interrupting you. When he turns it off and notices the time, he swears lowly, unlocking his phone and typing out a message to somebody. You’re scared to break the silence. Less than a minute later, someone knocks on the door.

“Come in,” Chan calls. When Changbin and Jisung step into the room, they eye you curiously. You keep your head down and try to prevent your hands from shaking as you stand and start to haphazardly shove away all your belongings and the garbage from your dinner into bags. 

“Noona, it's good to see you!” Jisung says brightly, although his smile dims when you make eye contact and can only manage to weakly return the smile. “Sorry for interrupting you two.”

“Hi Hannie,” you reply quietly, not wanting to make conversation, but not wanting to be rude.

“It’s okay, Y/n was just leaving,” Chan says, his obvious annoyance making things even more awkward.

You say bye to the boys quietly and apologise as you shuffle past them to the door.

The handles of the bag from your dinner are digging into your hand painfully and your purse can’t close with the way that you’ve thrown everything into it. You only take a few steps before you have to stop for a moment to save a container from falling and decide to put down everything and reorganise it all.

When you crouch down, you take a second to mentally berate yourself. Everything you had worried about had come true. Instead of being a pleasant surprise, you had come across as a nuisance.

In your rush, you hadn't fully closed the studio door behind you and you're close enough that you can just barely pick up the conversation that happens inside.

“Sorry,” you hear Chan say faintly. “I don't know what's been going on, but Y/n has been… really clingy these days. She just showed up today without asking and I hate-”

You leave before he has the chance to say anything else. You look like a mess for sure, you had just grabbed all the empty containers without bothering to put them back into the plastic bag, your jacket is partially dragging on the ground, and your purse is hanging off your elbow, having slipped off your shoulder. You're pretty sure you hear an empty drink bottle clatter to the floor behind you, but you don't look back to check.

You don't have it in you to care, you just need to leave.

Even waiting for the elevator feels humiliating, so you bypass it and stumble down the stairs. You dump the garbage into a bin on the first floor, not bothering to sort it properly, and step out onto the street, bee-lining to the nearest subway station.

The ride home passes by in a blur.

It hurts, of course it hurts. 

Honestly the reason that your relationship had worked out so far was because you weren’t the kind of person that needed a lot of attention. You understood that both of you were busy and were content to just exchange messages every couple of days because you knew how important Stray Kids was to Chan. Of course you did, they were just as important to you.

If Chan wanted space, well. You were more than capable of giving it to him.

In fact, your upcoming schedule had been the reason that you had wanted to meet up in the first place, the source of your so-called clinginess. You’d never been called that before. You were hyper-independent and tended to get lost in your own mind, easily distracted by different thoughts. It had gotten to a point that most of your exes had complained at least once about you being distant or inattentive.

With Chan, you had been determined not to be the same. It had been difficult at first, to make the effort to send messages throughout the day. You had to convince yourself not to spend too long drafting replies in your head and try not to worry that you were bothering him, especially if you knew that he had schedules at the same time that you were texting.

By the time that you make it to your apartment, your pain has faded into a mixture of resignation and numbness. You don't want to talk to Chan about how you feel, it's your clinginess that he didn't like in the first place, and you don't think you'll have time or the energy for a long, emotional conversation in the next few weeks anyway. If you keep your distance for a while, it just benefits both of you, you tell yourself. You won’t be a distraction to Chan as Stray Kids has their comeback and he won’t be one to you as you take on this new project. 

As much as you want to spend the rest of your night overthinking- something you’ve done more than you’d like to admit- you know that you have a busy day at work tomorrow. Feeling a bit like a zombie, you force yourself to shuffle through your usual nighttime routine, swallowing a melatonin pill before climbing into bed.

Normally, you would send Chan a good night message. Actually, normally you would have sent him a message the second that you arrived home. It was something that he was insistent on starting from early on in your relationship, wanting to make sure that you were safe.

Tonight, you just turn off your phone, plug it into its charger, and sleep.

—

In the morning, you allow yourself to wallow in bed for 5 minutes, before you get ready for work. You’ve never been good at eating breakfast and today’s no exception. Your stomach turns uneasily at the thought of food so you only force yourself to drink some water before you leave.

Your team at work has agreed to get to work earlier than usual just to get a headstart on everything. Though you’re more of a night owl, you’re grateful to find that deviating from your usual routine means that the subway is empty enough that you can find an empty seat, a luxury that you’ve rarely experienced.

It feels eerie to walk through the streets of Seoul when the sun has just started to rise and you’re relieved when you finally make it to your office.

Unsurprisingly, you’re one of the first to arrive. You’re grateful for the time that you have to unpack your things and make a much needed coffee before the rest of your team shows up.

“How did it go last night?” Jinjoo asks you excitedly when she comes in.

“Uhm, it was okay,” you reply noncommittally. “He was definitely surprised.”

“Oh,” Jinjoo pouts at your lack of enthusiasm.

“I mean, it wasn’t bad,” you backtrack, hating to see her disappointed. “It was just so short, he was kind of… busy. But that’s what I expected anyway so that's fine I guess. Thanks for suggesting it to me though! I really appreciate it.”

“That’s good,” Jinjoo brightens. “At least you got to see him one last time.”

“Oh yeah for sure! I think that after seeing him yesterday, it’ll be easier to deal with how busy we’re going to be for the next few weeks,” you say truthfully. 

It’s not a lie, you justify. For the first time since you started dating, you’re not looking forward to the next time that you’re going to see Chan.

You know that your communication is about to reduce to an all time low for the next few weeks, and while you had originally been worried about how Chan would react, now you’re thinking that he’s just going to be relieved not to hear from you. You’ve never thought yourself to have been overly chatty with Chan during the day though, preferring in-person conversation over texting and knowing that he’s generally not available to read your messages anyway, much less send you a reply. It seemed that you were wrong. 

Luckily your team now has to use a shared box that you’re required to put your personal phones into during working hours and only have a little bit of time during lunch and dinner breaks, if you take them, to fish them out. It’s a policy that your company enforces when teams are working on confidential projects and you can’t blame them due to past litigation that they’ve been involved in after a former employee leaked sensitive information.

For once, you're glad for this excuse to not look at your phone, even if you feel a little bit naked to look at the side of your desk or reach into your pocket and not have your phone there. You’re relieved to bury yourself in your work and forget all about your personal life. Even though your project is just starting, you feel like you're already behind. 

When you're finished work for the day and take back your phone, you find yourself reluctant to check your notifications. It's only when you're waiting for the subway to arrive at your station that you finally force yourself to take a look.

No new messages or calls from Chan.

You’re not sure what you expected, but somehow you’re still disappointed.

You get back to your apartment late, you had wanted to finish a couple of things before you left the office and it had led to you being one of the last to leave. You had also stopped by the convenience store closest to your place, not having the energy to cook anything for yourself.

You pick at your dinner half-heartedly. You're used to eating alone, Chan often had his meals at odd times due to his schedules, but tonight the silence feels more oppressive. 

It haunts you, the tail end of the overheard conversation. You have no idea how Chan was going to complete the sentence, but your mind unhelpfully fills in the blanks with worse and worse suggestions.

He hates the timing of your visit.

He hates that you visited at all.

He hates that he has such a clingy girlfriend.

He hates that you are his clingy, annoying, bothersome girlfriend.

He hates you.

In moments of clarity, you can recognize that it's not true. That's not the Chan that you know and he would never say something like that about anybody, least of all you. It's just hard when a small part of you has never really been able to believe that someone as talented and amazing as Chan would want to date someone as unremarkable as you.

You find yourself falling into a new routine, waking early, working overtime, and trying not to cry yourself to sleep. You succeed most of the time, you keep yourself occupied by thinking about work and you're so physically exhausted by your long hours that you fall asleep the second that you get into bed. Luckily, your coworkers are just as overworked as you are and it’s easy to blame your declining condition on the project. Weekends don't help you rest at all, you've committed to your manager that you can work on Saturdays and Sundays are spent completing the chores that you've neglected during the week.

You still talk to Chan sometimes, either right when you wake up or on the way home after work. The conversation is stilted though, both because of the long delays between messages when you text and the limited time that you have when you call. It's enough of a difference that Chan asks you multiple times if everything is okay. Even though you try your best to assure him that you're fine, just busy, you're sure he knows that something is off, although he doesn't question you further.

Most exciting is the day that the new Stray Kids album releases. You've already heard most of the songs for this comeback, perks of dating the member that's the most involved in the writing and production of the album, but it's different now that they're available to the public too. You make sure to organise your schedule so that you're on break when the music video drops and you send a number of messages in the group chat that you have with the group cheering them on. Usually, you try to take a day off to deliver some food to them at the music shows, but you've had to settle for arranging with one of their managers to treat them to a meal.

You can tell when they get breaks because when you check your phone after work, notifications from the members are all in the same blocks of time. It's mostly them thanking you, taking pictures of the food you sent, flowers that they've been gifted, and letters from fans. They have a short promotion period this comeback, but it's packed with different interviews, performances, and fanmeets. At one point, Felix even sends you a picture of Chan sleeping slumped over on one of the waiting room couches. As much as you're relieved to see that he's able to get some rest, the picture has your stomach twisting uncomfortably.

You're proud of Chan, of all of the boys. They've worked so hard and each comeback seems to be more and more successful. Even if you're not confident in what's going to happen with you and Chan in the future, you want to celebrate with them while you still can.

—

After almost four weeks, your project is nearing completion and you've never been more grateful to have a deadline arrive.

You only have a couple more days left until your last submittal is due and after getting off work, you want nothing more than to collapse into bed even though your stomach has been growling the whole walk from the bus to your building. You had caught a significant mistake in a document right before it was going to be sent to a client and the whole afternoon had been spent trying to fix it in time. Your team had just barely managed it, but your head has been pounding for hours and your whole body is tight with stress.

You’re not quite sure how you make it to your apartment, your exhaustion has made you clumsy. You struggle a couple times to enter in the code to unlock your door and trip over a pair of shoes that are scattered in the entryway.

You manage to catch yourself before you fall, then squint back. Yes, you haven’t had the chance to tidy your apartment in a couple weeks, but you’ve never been the type to leave your shoes on the walking path.

A light is on, further in your apartment. You know for a fact it wasn’t like that when you left this morning, it would have been obvious since you've been leaving before the sun rises. Someone else is here.

You stare at the light for a few seconds in disbelief, then slowly reach to grab something, anything that you might be able to use to defend yourself. Your shaking hands close around a full sized umbrella that you keep beside your closet. 

You’ve already made enough commotion that there’s no way the intruder didn’t hear, but you try to keep your footsteps light as you creep down the hall to where your kitchen is. It’s stupid to try and confront them, but the idea of someone in your space, potentially taking your things, is enough to inspire a sudden bout of bravery.

You hold your breath as you turn the corner, launching forward to attack the second that you see someone. You recognise the figure halfway through your swing, and though it’s too late to fully stop, you manage to pull back enough that they’re able to easily catch the umbrella before it hits them.

Chan wraps his arms around you then eases the umbrella out of your hands, resting it against the wall. You sag into his embrace, adrenaline draining away, leaving you exhausted again. 

“Chan?”

You've missed this. His warmth, his comforting scent, the reassuring steadiness that he always provides. You can almost pretend that everything is fine.

“Sorry for scaring you,” he says, sounding more amused than apologetic.

“You should be,” you grumble into his shirt. “I could have seriously injured you if I didn't realise it was you!”

“I don't think that was going to be a problem.” Even though you can't see Chan, you can hear the grin in his voice.

“Hey!” You lightly smack his arm. “You take that back!”

“Fine, fine,” Chan acquiesces, holding up both his hands in surrender. “I'm very glad that I didn't have to experience the full power of your self defence.”

“Yeah yeah,” you huff. “What are you doing here anyway? Other than trying to give me a heart attack, that is.”

“I made you dinner,” Chan says shyly, turning pink.

“For what?” you ask suspiciously. It's easy to fall back into the banter that you typically exchange with Chan, but you can't help but be a bit wary these days.

“No reason. I uh, just haven't seen you in a while,” Chan says sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck where it’s now flushed red. “We had so much preparation to do and then all our schedules… Anyway, I wanted to surprise you, so I thought I could cook for us.”

Now that he's mentioned it, you can see that he's set your tiny kitchen table and that there's a couple of pots on the stove. Chan doesn’t cook often, but he’s expressed a desire to learn before and you’ve taught him how to make a few of your favourite recipes.

You stare at him for a moment, lost for words.

It's only been a few weeks, but you feel like you've forgotten how to act around Chan. Instead of a comfortable silence, it's almost awkward, neither of you knowing what to say.

“Oh,” you say finally, touched and still a little shocked that he's actually here. “That's- that's so nice, I just- is it okay if I wash up a bit quickly first?”

“No, yeah, of course. I'm sure you had a long day,” Chan says. “Go ahead, I’ll- the food should be reheated anyway so I’ll get on that. Take your time.”

You skirt around him to go to the bathroom, taking a moment to splash yourself with water. This feels like a bizarre dream and you wonder for a moment if you’re making this all up. But when you leave to go to your bedroom, Chan’s still there, puttering around in front of your kitchenette. You change your clothes slowly, mind racing as you try to puzzle together why Chan has decided to visit all of a sudden.

You eventually settle on the most logical reason that you can think of.

He’s finally decided to break up with you.

You’ve figured that this was coming for weeks by now, but somehow it still hurts. Instead of feeling resigned, it feels like you’re shattering into little pieces. You twist your work blouse into a tiny ball as you try not to cry, even though you know the fabric is going to wrinkle terribly. You finish cleaning up in a daze, already drafting what you're going to have to message your manager later. There's no way that you're going to be in any shape to work tomorrow if you’re right.

“Y/n?” Chan calls eventually. You know you're procrastinating leaving your room, but you want to put this off for as long as possible even though you know it’s just delaying the inevitable. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you reply with a heavy heart. “I’m fine. I'll just be another second.”

You can tell that Chan doesn’t quite believe you. He hovers around you when you emerge from your bedroom, knocking away your hand when you try to pull out your own chair from the table.

He's set the table, going so far as to fold little napkins under your utensils. There's even a tiny vase with your favourite flowers as a centrepiece. All this effort just hurts more.

“You look exhausted. You got home so late. Where were you?” he asks.

“I was at work,” you reply stiffly. You know that if you try and say any more, your emotions are going to spill over and you're either going to scream or cry. Maybe both.

“So late?” Chan's forehead creases with some sort of emotion. You can't quite tell if it's concern or scepticism.

“You're not the only one that has a demanding job.”

“Y/n, you know that's not what I meant-”

“Sure,” you say. “Whatever, let's just eat. Thank you for the food.”

You don't want to deal with this. You're so tired.

You have no idea why Chan’s dragging this out longer than it needs to be. Why he’s forcing you to sit through a meal with him like he’s not about to break your heart. Chan is one of the kindest people you know, he’s probably trying to make this easier for you, giving you one last nice memory, but it just feels cruel.

Chan reaches out, stopping you before you can pick up your chopsticks. He stares at the way his fingers overlap each other around your wrist.

“You’ve lost weight,” he says quietly. You look away, watching steam curl from the bowl of rice that has been set in front of you instead of returning eye contact.

“I’ve been busy.” Is all you can say in response. 

You don’t want to tell him that you’ve been basically subsisting on iced americanos and various convenience store meals in part because of your work schedule, but mostly because of your lack of appetite. Every time you thought of Chan, it made your stomach turn and well, everything reminded you of him. You hadn’t realised how much it had actually affected your physical condition until now though.

“You're not taking care of yourself,” he scolds you. You can feel yourself bristle at his comment even though you know it’s true. “I haven't been around to take care of you either. I'm sorry.”

“Chan,” you protest. It has been weeks since you last saw him in person and you’ve spent more time that you’d like to admit micro analysing your relationship, but you still can’t make sense of his behaviour, especially how he keeps switching between criticism and tenderness.

“What?” he asks in genuine confusion.

“Why are you here?”

“I missed you,” Chan says, sounding hurt and confused. “I haven’t seen you in so long.”

“I just- I don’t understand what you want from me!” You run your hands through your hair in frustration. “One day you don’t want me around, we go weeks without seeing each other, then you’re at my place cooking me dinner? You said you needed space, I gave you space."

“Woah woah woah, what do you mean I don’t want you around?” Chan asks, alarmed. “When have I ever said that?”

“You made it pretty clear that you didn’t appreciate it when I went to bring you dinner that day,” you start.

“No, baby!” Chan stands up abruptly before you can say anything else. He falters when the loud scrape of his chair causes you to flinch back. He slowly walks towards you and kneels in front of you, reaching out to hold your hands in his. His eyes are wide with earnestness. “Of course I wanted to spend time with you. I always want to be with you.”

“So why did you call me clingy?” you ask in a small voice. Gone is your anger, replaced with a self-consciousness that you can’t hide. You look away as tears prickle your eyes.

Gently, Chan lets go of your hands and cups your cheeks instead, turning your face so that he can see you better. His thumbs swipe under your eyes, brushing away the tears that have managed to escape.

“Baby,” he says, sounding even more upset and angry than you feel. “I'm sorry. Did someone tell you I said that?”

“Nobody had to tell me, I heard you say it myself!” you burst out, pushing Chan away. You know that you’re being dramatic, that you keep oscillating between different emotions, but you don’t care. “That day, in your studio, you told Han and Changbin that I was really clingy.”

“You heard me talking to Binnie and Hannie?” Chan asks slowly.

“I didn't mean to eavesdrop,” you sniffle. One of Chan's hands shifts and he carefully tucks behind a lock of hair that has fallen in front of your face. The gentleness makes even more tears well up.

“It's okay, I think I know what you overheard now. It must have hurt, right?”

You can't muster up a response, choosing instead to just nod slightly.

“I’m sorry, I'm sorry,” he soothes you. “Can I explain myself?”

You pause for a moment, then slowly nod again.

“I don't mind that you're clingy, actually, I like it. I shouldn't have used that word. I like that you want to spend time with me, Y/n,” Chan says carefully. “I like that you take time to visit me, even though I know that your work is busy too. I think that it's cute and thoughtful that you think of me and try to take care of me by bringing me food. I know that you intentionally take the time out of your day to text me because you know that I like hearing from you, even though I might not see it or respond right away.”

Chan pauses for a second and you use it as an opportunity to pull away slightly. His hands tighten briefly, before he lets them fall away, giving you the space to process.

It's not that you don't like what Chan is saying, it's just hard to reconcile it with the thoughts that have been eating away at you for the past few weeks. You still don't understand what you overheard though, how it fits into all of this. When you voice your concerns to Chan, he sighs, before continuing to speak.

“I don't know what I did to have someone as caring and thoughtful as you in my life.” You want to protest, but Chan carries on before you can say anything. “It's just that- you visited me without notice and were the sweetest person in the world. I wanted to spend time with you, believe me, I did, but I can't just ignore my deadlines when the rest of the members are relying on me. It makes me feel like garbage when I can’t give you all my attention. That's the thing I hate the most. That I can't be the boyfriend that you deserve. That I can't show you how much you mean to me the way that I want to.”

It makes sense, in some sort of twisted way. You know that similarly to you, Chan often feels insecure. It had taken a while before you had been able to convince him that you really did want to be in a relationship with him even with all of the difficulties that were associated with being an idol. You hadn't realised that your visit had fed into his worries that he wasn’t enough.

“I didn't know,” you say quietly. “I'm sorry.”

“Hey, I didn't tell you how I was feeling and that's on me. I’m the one that’s sorry, you have no reason to be. I should have been clearer about what was going through my mind and it wasn't any excuse for the way that spoke to you. Even if I wasn't at my best, I can't believe that I made you feel like I didn't want you to be around.” Chan shakes his head and you can tell that he's beating himself up about it. This time, you're the one that reaches out to him, grabbing one of his hands in both of yours.

“I am sorry that I put you into that position, though. I got caught up in the idea of how fun and romantic it might be, that I didn't give enough consideration to your schedule. Even though I wanted to surprise you, it would have been better to check with you beforehand. I don't ever want you to have to feel like you have to choose between me and work.”

“It was a really nice surprise,” Chan agrees. “I wish that I hadn't been so wrapped up that I wasn't able to enjoy spending time with you. I really hated not being able to see you these past few weeks.”

“It was really hard for me too,” you admit.

“I missed you so much. I missed your beautiful voice, hearing your laugh, seeing your smile. I missed all the texts that you usually send, they make me feel like I'm not as far away, that I'm a part of your day too. You kept saying that everything was fine and- I know it's hard for you, especially during comeback periods when I'm not as responsive. I didn't want to pressure you into messaging me more often if I'm not able to do the same.”

“No, it's not that. It doesn't bother me. Work was, is still really busy for me,” you explain. “I was trying to tell you that day, but-”

“But I basically shut you down,” Chan realises. He laughs bitterly. “I’m just the worst, aren't I? No wonder you were so confused by why I was here.”

“I thought you were going to break up with me tonight,” you whisper. Chan looks devastated by your statement.

 “No- you know I wouldn't-” Chan stumbles on his words in his haste to correct you.

“I don't think that anymore,” you reassure him. “I understand everything now, it was just that we didn't communicate well and I assumed… It's okay, we're together now, this won't happen again.”

“I promise that I will make it up to you. I love you and I will prove it to you in every way possible. And I'm going to start right now. You still haven't eaten yet, please go ahead.” Chan moves back to his abandoned chair and doles out a portion of the stew from the pot that's on the table. 

“I am really hungry,” you confess. Your stomach chooses that exact moment to growl loudly and the two of you can’t help but burst into laughter. 

Just like that, it feels like things are back to normal.

You know that there's still more that you and Chan have to talk about. The two of you have only scratched the surface on your insecurities, communication, and how those things led to such a significant misunderstanding.

But tonight, it's enough that you get to share a meal with the man that you love.

read it on ao3 | masterlist

[huiracha]

251119 railway @ dominATE world tour in hong kong

[quokka143]

leather jacket skz is honestly elite ✨

[taeyongdoyoung]

that's a warning

summary: your professor's age is not a problem to you. and neither is his dark secret... pairing: professor!chan x uni student!reader genre: dark academia, vampire!au, smut warnings: professor/student dynamic, age gap (unspecified), mentions of toxic friend, descriptions of blood, kissing, biting, eating out, blowjob, daddy kink (who's surprised?), ddlg implied, size kink, unprotected sex, forbidden relationship, insecurities, danger kink author's note: this is based on a dream i had + inspired by railway, obviously. read at your own risk 🥵 too many references to the song's lyrics in bold, sawrryyy word count: 3k

The moment you set your eyes on Professor Bang, you know that you need to have him. You've never felt an attraction so intense, so overpowering, so sinister in its obsession. You are willing to go to any lengths to get close to him. Even if it kills you.

It starts off innocent, almost childlike. The way you stay after his lectures to ask him silly questions (you know the answers to) about the homework. Sometimes you ask him about the location of other lecture halls (even though you've been to them hundreds of times). Sometimes you go to his office hours just to be alone with him (even though you are perfectly confident in understanding the study material).

At first, Chan accepts your incessant flood of questions with an easy-going smile. If he's being honest with himself, he likes the attention. It's been a while since someone's been that interested in talking to him. Especially someone so…young. Most students usually avoid his intense stare. He's been told it's far too intimidating. He tries to be welcoming to everyone but he's not sure he's doing a good job.

But as the semester nears its end, his patience wears thin. You always get full marks on your assignments and quizzes so he doesn't understand why you are constantly asking for his "help". And he's certain you know your way around the university better than any other student. You're always on time and your homework is flawless 100% of the time. So, he really doesn't get it. Are you messing with him? Is it funny to you to joke around with a poor old lonely professor?

Chan's decided he's had enough. And this time, when you catch him alone after the lecture, he's going to confront you.

"Cut the act," Professor Bang scolds you directly. "I know you know the answer to that question. Why are you doing this to me?"

"Doing what, Professor Bang?" you ask innocently, while batting your eyelashes.

"Pretending you're dumb. It's obvious you're a top student, so why are you always asking me stuff?" he grunts and pins you down with his intense gaze you're so addicted to.

Hell, you've never felt more terrified. It excites you.

"Don't you know already?" you mumble quietly. You want to look away but you're trapped in his beautiful dark eyes. So you don't.

"Is it fun, messing with an old man like me, huh? Is it some stupid college dare?" Chan asks, his insecurities getting the worst of him.

"You're not old," you insist passionately. "There's no dare. I just…like you."

"You…like me?" he repeats in disbelief.

You nod furiously, trying to convince him of your sincerity.

"But…why?"

"What do you mean why? You're so smart and handsome and sometimes even cute. I like…how you explain stuff like you don't think anyone is dumb, you're so patient and…warm."

Huh. Warm? It's been a while since someone's used that word to describe him, Chan thought.

"You do realize we could both get in trouble if…" he can't even believe he's even considering this. "If we were to…pursue something outside of the university walls?"

Fuck it, he said it.

"I know. I won't tell anyone, I promise," you are desperately grasping at straws as you find yourself so close to the one thing you've ever wanted more than anything.

Professor Bang shakes his head.

"I'm not asking you to keep it a complete secret. Just…if you choose to share it with people, be careful who you trust."

"I understand, Professor, I'll be careful," you promise.

"And…call me Chris or Chan or something," he shrugs. "When it's just us two."

God. It's really happening.

"Let me take you out to a restaurant," he offers suddenly. "Tomorrow evening?"

"That sounds amazing!" you grin excitedly.

Your first date with Chan arrives and you are so happy you feel like you could die. You don't wanna jinx things so soon and don't tell anyone where you're going.

"You look stunning," he compliments your dress as he pulls a chair out for you.

"Thank you so much, Chris," you smile and take a seat. "You look absolutely dashing, as always."

He chuckles but doesn't respond rightaway.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just…I don't hear that much. Especially not from beautiful young women such as yourself."

"You're surely joking?" you frown. "Anyone would kill to be in my shoes right now."

"You're too kind," Chan replies, not seeming to believe your words and you decide to drop the subject. For now. "What would you like to drink?"

"Hmm…maybe some red wine?"

"Good choice," he smirks. "And food?"

"I'm really into pasta these days!" you squeal with excitement.

Chris orders for the two of you, making your heart flutter for the hundredth time. He's just…so dependable.

Till the food arrives, you busy yourselves with getting to know each other better. Outside of the university walls, it turns out you are both passionate about things other than academic endeavours. And with each glass of red, it becomes easier to share stuff about yourself with him.

As the evening nears its natural conclusion, Chan insists on paying the bill for the food and drinks.

"Now I feel bad," you pout adorably, clinging onto his arm for support, because all the wine made your legs slightly unstable. "Let's go for coffee!"

"I don't…really drink coffee," Chris confesses shyly.

"Tea, then! Please, I don't want to go home just yet. This night is so perfect, I don't want it to end."

"Okay, okay," he agrees easily.

You lead the way to one of your favourite cafés. This time, you excitedly pay for the warm beverages.

"It's snowing outside!" you marvel at the pretty snowflakes falling, illuminated by the street lights.

"Good thing we're all cozy and inside, then," Chan chuckles.

"Yeah…" you smile softly. "I really like you, Chan," you admit.

"I know, you said that a couple of times," he shakes his head, amused.

"Yes, but…you didn't say anything. Do you like me, too?" you inquire self-consciously.

"I do like you. You're very clever and funny and obviously super pretty."

"Really?" you blink furiously to stop yourself from tearing up. You don't get to hear something like that by someone you admire so much. Someone who inspires you to be as diligent and hard-working as him. Scratch that. You don't get to hear words like that very often. It sometimes strikes you how badly you need to be acknowledged for your efforts.

"You must know that."

"No, actually, I don't," you smile sadly. "But it's really nice of you to say it. True or not."

Chan stretches his hand out across the table to hold yours.

"Hey. It's true, okay?"

"Guess I'll stick around to find out, yeah? And maybe I'll help you believe it, too," you suggest.

"Maybe. I'd really like that."

And stick around you do. The next semester, Chan is no longer your Professor, so you don't have to worry so much about getting in trouble with the university's authorities. Eventually, as things start becoming more serious, you decide to share the news about your boyfriend's identity with a few of your closest friends.

Luckily, most of them are super supportive and happy about your relationship. They tell you that you've looked happier recently and are pleased to finally know the reason. There is one friend, however, who is completely against.

"I don't approve. You can't date him," she outright says.

"Can't? Excuse me?" you become aggravated. You've had some fights in the past, situations when she's been jealous of you hanging out with other friends and has done some toxic stuff behind your back. So, her reaction doesn't come as a complete surprise. But still, it sucks that she hasn't outgrown this kind of pettiness.

"He's like…too old for you. And the fact he was your Professor is just…gross."

"How can you say that? You've never even met him."

"Then, let me meet him."

"Why would you meet him if you've already made up your mind?"

"To make sure he's worthy of you, duh."

"That's my call to make. Not yours."

And with that, you leave. This is just…too much. Later, you talk to another friend about this situation to get a second opinion.

"Nah, fuck her. I mean, it's your relationship, she can't dictate how you feel or who you're seeing romantically."

"Right? That's exactly what I've been thinking."

"It sucks that she said those stuff but maybe you're better off," your other friend shrugs.

"Yeah…For the time being, I'll distance myself from her. If she starts acting like an adult, only then will I consider letting her back in."

"That's totally valid," your friend agrees. "Take your time and look after your mental health."

"Thank you so much. I knew you'd get it."

"Always!"

Soon after that, you hang out at Chan's place and you decide to talk talk to him about the falling-out with that toxic friend.

"Well, technically, I am too old for you."

"The fuck you are! Are you taking her side?" you cry out passionately.

"Hell, no! I'm just saying…you could find any college guy your age and…"

"No, shut up, Chris!" you shake your head, refusing to entertain such an idea. "I don't want anyone but you!"

"But I'm dangerous for you," Chan sighs. But you can't believe that. He's been nothing but kind and accepting in the short time you've known each other.

"What do you mean?" you ask.

"You'd think I'm crazy if I told you," he grins somewhat devilishly. "It'd be better if I showed you instead. But then, I'd have to kill you."

"W-what?" you stammer, his behaviour totally unlike the gentle guy you're used to seeing.

Suddenly, Chris grabs your wrist and starts pulling you somewhere.

"W-where are we g-going?" you ask helplessly but he doesn't respond. He's too strong to fight him back so you just try to keep up with his speed and follow him down the stairs and into the basement. Where you'll find answers to questions you didn't even know you were supposed to be asking.

When he unlocks the door, you are greeted with red. A lot of it.

"What is all this?"

"Come on, sweetheart, I thought you were smarter than that," Chris chuckles.

"It's…blood banks," you state the obvious, feeling dumber than ever.

"Wow, you don't say," Chris replies sarcastically.

"Why…why do you have all this blood in your basement? Is it like a…kink thing?!" you gasp in shock.

"No, darling, it's not a kink thing," he laughs, the idea incredibly amusing. "Take a guess."

"Are you a serial killer?" you try to think of a logical explanation.

"You're too realistic," Chris sighs. "Think…something you never thought possible."

"You're…a vampire!" you exclaim triumphantly.

"Bingo," he confirms unenthusiastically. "So, your friend was correct to worry. I am too old for you. And bad for you. I never should have let this go so far."

You shake your head.

"N-no, she's not right," you disagree. "I don't care."

"You don't care?" Chris tilts your chin up, facing you directly. "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to restrain myself from sucking your blood dry?"

You gulp nervously but refuse to believe he'd actually do that. Especially considering he hasn't done so already…

"Why did you become a Professor surrounded by so many humans if self-control is so hard for you?" you push back cleverly.

"It's never been a problem for me to control my thirst. Until you."

"Then, why did you let me get so close?" you inquire.

"Because I was weak…And lonely. I shouldn't have let you in."

Your eyes tear up with emotion.

"Are you saying you'd be happier without me?"

"Happier?" Chris scoffs. "No, I wouldn't be happier. But you would be safer without me."

"Fuck that," you argue. "I am safe when it's just you and me. Knowing you're a vampire changes nothing about how I feel about you."

"Then, you're even more insane than I am," Chris sighs, unable to deny the growing tension between you two.

You kiss him roughly to prove him right, digging your fingers into his soft hair. He kisses you back just as hungrily, incapable of letting you go.

Yes, he may be dangerous for you. But so are you. Willingly pursuing him, not running away from him despite knowing the truth.

He grabs your hair and pulls back, exposing your neck.

"Last chance to get out of here. That's a warning," Chris whispers darkly.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" you grin, completely trusting him.

Even if he was your Professor, even if he is way older than you than you initially thought, even if he is a blood-sucking predator, there is no one else you'd trust so unconditionally, so irrevocably.

"What if I hurt you?" he asks, a hint of worry making his dark eyes glow with warmth.

"You couldn't," you insist and close your eyes, tilting your neck. "You can bite me, if you want."

"You're crazy," Chris repeats.

"I trust you," you speak your thoughts out loud.

And this is his breaking point. He attacks your neck with his sharp fangs, not wanting to hold back any longer. The bite stings but in such a sweet way you would be happy to go, if this was your fate…As he drinks from you, you weakly wrap your hands around his neck for support, needing him to ground you. Just as badly as he needed one taste from your delicious blood. If your blood is what Chris needs for survival, then he will surely be your undoing.

Somehow, against all reason, Chan manages to detach his fangs from your neck.

"Fuck," he caresses your neck, smearing the blood all over your porcelain skin. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," you murmur dazedly. "I'm okay."

He holds you close, kissing your cheeks and trying to clean up the mess he made.

"Let's get out of here," Chan suggests and lifts you in his arms, carrying you back to the coziness of his place.

"I don't mind," you reassure him. "You being a vampire, that is. I love every part about you. I love...you."

"You…love me?" Chan gasps in surprise.

"I do, I love you," you say once again for good measure.

He doesn't say anything, just kisses you again in disbelief. You hug him tightly, finding so much comfort in his arms. Whatever you've heard about vampires doesn't apply to Chan. He's radiating so much warmth you feel you could burn.

"Hold on tight," he warns and you grip the headboard top rail for dear life, as Chan makes sure to show you blood is not the only thing he's interested in drinking.

As he laps up your juices greedily, you find yourself on the verge of losing your sanity. Your hands give out and you let go of the bed's railings and opt for burying your fingers into his curls once more for support.

"Chris, please, please," you cry out, not even sure what you're begging for. For him to stop? For sweet release? It doesn't matter, as long as he stays with you.

Soon enough, your prayers are answered and you start seeing stars floating in the middle of the room.

"Did I kill you already?" he laughs upon seeing your reaction.

"Try harder," you tease him, even though you are already so gone.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Chris shrugs.

He takes off his jeans and stuffs your mouth full with his giant cock. You try to babble something but it's no use and your helplessness only turns him on more. You hug the back of his knees and let him fuck your throat as he pleases, even though you don't have much of a choice in the matter. Your vision is cloudy with tears and you can't even ask for mercy as his cum starts flooding your mouth. If you thought him drinking your blood was overwhelming, this is on a whole 'nother level of dizzying.

Once he's done using and abusing your throat, he pulls his cock out, smirking at you from above.

"You okay, sweetheart? Still alive?"

"Y-yes, d-daddy," you manage to croak out weakly.

Chris shakes his head in amusement upon hearing the sudden title.

"Then, I guess Daddy's gonna have to give ya a rough ride so you'll forget your own name, huh? How does that sound?"

"More, please," you plead desperately and he makes good on his promise.

He enters you without another warning and you can't keep your screams inside.

"G-god, y-yes," you moan.

"God isn't in this room, darling," Chris cackles maniacally. "The devil, however…"

You kiss him again because he's talking so much your brain can't keep up.

"S-so b-big," you cry.

"Yeah? Too big for my little girl?" he teases you.

"N-no. P-perfect. You're perfect," you insist stubbornly.

Chris fucks into you with supernatural stamina and you are grateful for that because even though you want to, you aren't able of keeping pace with him. Instead, you are happy to just hold onto him and focusing all your energy into…well, not passing out. You're so wet for him that his enormous size slides in and out easily, satisfying both of you with the intensity of the feeling. At last, you cum together, overwhelmed by the passion and affection you feel for each other.

He collapses on top of you, not wanting to pull out just yet. You welcome his weight like he's a giant blanket, comforting you.

"Don't wanna let go of you," Chan murmurs cutely.

You stroke his hair once more with a gentle touch. How is this man who has so many more years of experience still such a cute boy, desperate for tenderness?

"Then, don't. I'm all yours to keep," you chuckle weakly.

"That wouldn't be very productive to our academic future," Chan complains.

"It's okay. I feel like we've both earned a little break," you point out.

"From university? Sure. But when it comes to us two…I need no break. No brakes."

"Nicely said," you giggle, ready for another round on this train that never sleeps.

The End

[straykidsgallery]

2024 STAYweek | SKZ in New York City 🐶

[go-saeng]

happiness looks good on you channie ♡

[viasdreams]

‧𓍢ִ໋☕ ׂ 𓈒 ⋆ ۪

slowly falling in love with bangchan !!

a/n: the whole idea for this came from that one mafia skzcode where chan was a barista 😛

a/n: this might be too deep of a cut, but "believe that" is said the same way nagisa says it in 50% off :3 really hope one of yall gets that reference

fake text m.list ☁︎⋅