#Himbo to Hero Bruce

[aloha-obi]

In some AU out there I like to think there’s a Batman that started out as more “Brucie” the playboy bachelor than self made fighting machine. A Bruce Wayne who was actually more accustomed to throwing epic parties than punching bad guys. A Bruce that tried to drown his grief in every pleasure the world has to offer… until he finds his Robin.

Dick Grayson who comes from the same type of tragedy, only he doesn’t have a billion dollars (or a father figure like Alfred) to fall back on.

This little kid who wants to take on the mob personally - is now targeted by kidnappers who want Bruce’s money - and is suffering from a complete lack of self preservation and the innate compulsion to swing from every chandelier in Bruce’s home.

This kid, who some people in Gotham’s high society look upon with a predatory gaze and whisper things like ‘Talon’ and ‘Court of Owls’ and a dozen other things that Bruce isn’t sure about…. But Dick has nothing and no one and Bruce HAS to step up and be there for him.

So Brucie, with his years of marital arts training (because he still loves his fitness and the ability to defend himself) has to quickly become someone who’s able to protect this kid. Everyone in Gotham thinks Bruce has matured and settled down because he’s a father now - and they aren’t Wrong per se but really - when your kid is that much of a daredevil/trouble magnet, a Bat-themed vigilante gets born out of necessity because Robin was going to go fight the darkness with or without Bruce’s help.

Just imagine a ‘Brucie’ who wants to forget his grief through partying more than punching criminals … and then imagine how that partying DILF becomes BATMAN - born from protective love instead of long held grief.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

I mean it’s not like I’ve reblogged that post six or thirty times already

[acid-ixx]

lovefool by the cardigans

— series concept ft. soft yandere dc! x bimbo/himbo reader

soft yandere! dc characters x himbo/bimbo/careless reader... who's just a bundle of joy to be with... where all the villains have an agreement to never mess with you, hell even kidnap you occasionally from the arms of the heroes just to hear you rant endlessly about your 'mundane' life as if you weren't just abducted... where the heroes would quite frankly sometimes have to put you in some sort of human leash because you wouldn't literally panic if there's a gun pointed against you...

the urge to make a shitpost/romcom series just because i listened to lovefool by the cardigans... no idea of platonic/romantic but i'm just moving on with the flow... a bit more on the romantic side ig...

i'm going feral at the thought of a wild goose chase with you, because one second you're bundled up in the arms of the justice league, each one of them scheduled to strictly watch over you, another is stationed near the door as they'd be the one to get you anything you want or need— then suddenly you're at a villain's lair that houses all the bad guys and then oops! you accidentally inhaled the scarecrow's fear gas but you're not reacting?! is your mind filled with air...? all your response was a quirk of your eyebrows and a question that's just "is there any signal here? the league told me to call me if i'm in any trouble...?" which then you would quickly take back and instead would smile at them like some goons didn't just threaten you with a knife to your neck just because you screamed, calling the scarecrow's mask a sack of moving, possessed potatoes.

originally, most villains would whisk you away from the arms of your vigilante babysitters but then they discover you're just a bundle of joy who laughs at the shittiest joke anyone could make, who snorts at their 'funny' antics and words, who grins when they take pictures of you to use as bait that you're being held hostage. it kind of goes to the point that their original plans all go to waste and they decide to just, take you all for themselves. they don't even know how you were able to survive being thrown around carelessly by the shoulders of big, muscular men, but they're more jealous at the image of you giggling and running your hands through muscles arms and toned abs; so they took it in themself to be the ones to guide you through your now makeshift room, hoping you would fawn over them with those cute stars in your eyes...

and if you were taken back into the arms of the vigilantes? oh god, the heroes can't even scold you because you'd be already hugging the next person in the room, babbling endlessly about your adventures with the villains and ignoring their seething envy with just how much you brag about how some are "too hot to be evil! i think i can change them!" because why are you talking about some randoms who just kidnapped you for their own gain when you have them right there? no way are you now getting out of their sights, them trying so hard to even distract you from going outside because "it's just too dangerous to be out there, boo! you're safe with us."

and you just nod your head with that toothy grin of your! are you seriously unaware of how much the richest of the rich are willing to pay for just an hour of your already shining presence? hell, you're just too... out of it, to the point you'll be the one who discovers their secret identities just by accidentally noticing details that nobody with functioning thoughts would even think about.

"batman! you must be bruce wayne, right?" you randomly approach him one day, with a foot tapping the floor impatiently. you stare at him like you had made a scientific discovery.

"... how do you know...?"

"'cause you're both hot and rich and whenever i get a feel of mr. wayne's abs, they're the same size as yours—!" and you continue to guess his children's identities all correctly with a quip of how hot they are or how you wish one you were fit and toned enough to have honkers as big as them...

... that night, you're spending it in the batcave with bruce and his children trying their damn best to brainwash you into keeping their identities a secret, to which you reply with a nod and an airheaded smile. but then the moment they remove you from the straps constricting you in a comfy bed, you'll be running off to alfred, ranting about how you can't believe that you guessed their personas right and if he knew it all along too...

huh, guess that's what makes you all the more charming.

a/n: please do comment or send in asks if you're interested in this as much as i am... i wrote this in quick succession and altho i am planning to make this series a shitpost one or a lighthearted romcom one, i rlly want to amp the yandere-ness hehe. it was fun writing this albeit it being written in about 10 minutes or less. ignore the header ill change it soon 🫦

[ditzybat]

i need a himbo bruce au where he never became batman, his kids however, they are all vigilantes and try their best to keep it a secret from their father - how they become vigilantes? who knows, maybe they took up mentorships with other heroes or villains. still, their morals kept them on the 'good' side of the law as best as it could - but bruce while being incredibly intelligent and likely a doctor (because i imagine he would finish med school in this au) doesn't realize how odd it is that his kids disappear in the night and have a plethora of wounds he tends to almost daily.

oh well, to him they're just crazy kids and definitely not a modge-podge of ex-assassins and bird themed vigilantes.

[gaywineauntsstuff]

See one of my favorite things about fanon is that Dick is like a normal dude outside of nightwing like genuinely he’s normal person who isn’t that extreme canonically. He loves his family but he needs space with them and doesn’t want to be a carbon copy of his father.

He follows Bruce is moral compass while also being more lenient on some crimes. He canonically values life and protecting the sanctity over it than actually stopping crime and has a very strong moral compass that exceeds “well it’s the law”. Dick canonically thinks that Corrupt police officials are worse than criminals and became a cop to weed them out the same way he did the mob. And has bad blood with the BPD despite working for them.

He has genuine reservations about trusting Jason for obvious reasons even if you don’t like Dicks run as Batman where Jason was flat out the worst or like stealing the Nightwing suit in New York in brothers and blood. While still being able to work with and like him.

He is supportive of Tim while still being frustrated at taking on more work bc he knows Tim does too much and will need help.

He loves Damian but steps away from that relationship because unlike Bruce at his age he’s emotionally mature enough to realize he cannot be a parent for the kid. A role model sure! A big sibling, yeah. But not a parent.

He didn’t want Steph as spoiler, Robin or batgirl bc she wasn’t well trained but neither did literally anyone else. Once she and him started working together they had a decent relationship.

Dick and Cass have a strong relationship and he helped Babs with her when Bruce was being an asshole while still not stepping into a parent role bc he’s in his mid 20s and not going to do that actually.

And Dick believes Duke is going to become a big leader in the hero world and sees his potential despite not agreeing with the we are Robin thing.

And the fanon goes 1 of 3 ways

he’s fully uninvolved, doesn’t like the bats, has cut them off after trying to send Tim to Arkham, and abusing/ mistreating or co-signing the mistreatment of Jason. All his relationships with everyone except Damian have been erased. He ruined Tim’s trust, hated young!jason, has never spoken to Steph or duke and Cass doesn’t like him because she’s on babs side or in Hong Kong.

Or

Literally Bruce Wayne’s lapdog, says yes to everything with the worst case of battered women’s syndrome you’ve ever seen. Jason must stand up for him and protect him from the big bad bat/ the bats cut him off aswell after abandoning the bat movement (more rare but I’ve seen it). He doesn’t have critical thinking and his morals are identical to Batman’s and he refuses to question them. Will call the police on a homeless man stealing food bc it’s illegal. And has never tried to rehabilitate anyone including his friends, abandoned Roy and Kory bc of moral differences. He’s still a cop and doesn’t understand the nuance that Jason, Tim, Steph and Duke do.

Or

Dumb himbo, doesn’t know nothing except smile and nod. Pretty face, no brain. Has had one thought and it’s the fact he misses his siblings and needs his cereal oh wait was that two thoughts? He forgot how to count lmao. Babs or Tim will roll their eyes and do stuff for him bc he’s so dumb and sweet like a puppy who has had a lobotomy. :( doesn’t even have a college degree dumb silly teehee. Worst liar you’ve ever met everyone can see right through him hehe. He’s loves Bruce and calls him Dad 24/7 and uses nicknames for everyone.

And like it’s total flanderization

He has some of these traits sure, (more rigid moral compass, more willing to work with other heroes and delegate though this one literally only became a thing during Tom kings run and maybe a little bit after Donna died, in the current canon he went to Uni for business and dropped out, he’s not as good on the tech side as oracle)

But they’re just so exaggerated and I firmly believe it’s bc the rest of the bats are so extra. Like Tim trying to clone his dead bestie 99 times.

Jason goodness gracious I’ve been bamboozled let me try and kill the penguin on live tv

Damian my mother literally tore my spine out

. Duke let’s start a cult that’s something that isn’t dumb and won’t get us murdered.

And Dick is just there like… yeah fuck okay.

Like he’s still unhinged even for a superhero but he’s just objectively more hinged than all of his siblings like you’re telling me if TIM got the talon ancestry storyline shit wouldn’t have hit the fan??? The mother fucker who at age like 13 broke in Nightwing and starfire’s house, memorized all their schedules bc he’s the most insane stalker you’ve ever met. You’re lying and we both know it.

And everyone thinks their fave is the sane won and you are all just wrong I fear. I have already slandered Tim so I’ll do the rest for funsies

“Oh babs is the only sane one”

Bby Barbara is such a stalker with a need for control someone stole her tech and turned Gotham into a police state. If she decided that she wanted to go dictator she has a WHOLE setup for it. She’s also unhinged

“Jason just needs to get away from the bats then he’s the only sane one who the others go to for protection”

Yall Jason’s 2 biggest teams were

An Amazon, and a kryptonian

An arrow and an alien (also some times an Amazon)

So the league big three knock off and a titans knock off

He has also slept with his dad’s ex and 2 of his brother’s exes. Let’s not pretend that he’s being dragged back into the bat family, bro never left.

He wears a bat on his chest

He has a helmet with explosives in it… when he died in an explosion and fought with a crowbar when it was one of the major reasons he died. Let’s not talk about his whole thing with scarlet but the Morrison run had some weird characterization.

“Damian-“ no actually you can’t even start with Mr let’s go to Lazarus island. Let me adopt a giant bat monster bc my abusive childhood means I slaughtered his entire race. No actually I will not allow it. The fucker is unhinged and I love him.

“Steph” - you know what she is also my fave so everything she has ever done is justified and she has the best batgirl run and also her and Damian are hilarious. (She’s also the best female bat hands down I prefer her to both Cass and Babs for so many reasons I will not get into)

In summary this isn’t actually a criticism I find it hilarious plz keep going my darling fanon fanfic writers

[autisticrosewilson]

It's not that I hate fanon or that I think fanon is inherently less intelligent or morally wrong, but a LOT of fanon is based in racism, misogyny, and classism that I feel like a lot of you accept without question.

WHY is Duke (Daredevil, son of a god, has never once allowed himself to be defined by anyone's actions but his own) relegated to a background role, only characterized by reacting to the whims of other bats?

Why is Babs - Birds of Prey leader and backbone of the hero society, tells Bruce to fuck off and die 4 times a day and is constantly ruining her relationships by being biased and unhinged - Gotham bound, the mature responsible mom of the group who never argues with Bruce and never gets in trouble?

Why is Dick, both a tactical genius and master manipulator, a himbo only appreciated for his sex appeal? Especially when he is both Romani (group of people demonized and condemned as hypersexual by their nature alone) and an SA victim.

WHY is Damian "feral" and "uncivilized" despite being raised as a literal prince? Half of you treat him like a sociopath with no hope of redemption for an unfunny three second joke and the other half of you go full throttle into Bruce's white savior bullshit so that Damian can be "redeemed". Y'know when you're not villainizing Talia and acting like Dick is his other parent, actually.

WHY is Stephanie - extremely intelligent detective who can't stand Bruce and has a living mother she loves - lumped in as another member of the Batfam, a blonde ditz who only cares about prank wars and emotionally supporting Tim?

WHY is Cass - intelligent, a grown adult, suicidal perfectionist - emotionally intelligent, primarily existing to support the characters around her, immediately accepting of everyone she meets regardless of her own morals?

Why is Bruce the golden standard? Enough so that though everyone in the fandom could agree that he's an emotionally unstable wreck, being considered "the most like him" is seen as a compliment and not the HIGHEST insult? Everyone would agree if I said that Bruce purposely self sabotages his relationship half the time and the other half he simply does things without caring about the emotional impact it will have on people because he has to be the smartest in the room, but if I said that makes him a shit partner and emotionally abusive parent the fandom would bend over backwards to argue with me.

Why is Tim "the best Robin" when Dick Grayson invented the mantle, it is impossible for someone to embody the spirit of Robin better than him because he made it and he created what being Robin means. Maybe Tim is the best in Bruce's eyes, but what Robin means and who has the right to give it over was a significant thing they argued about. Tim the high school drop out, and yet also somehow the smartest? Tim "the most like Bruce" except no he's not, that's Cass. Poor neglected, abused, victimized little Timmy (the rich boy at the elite boarding school with loving albeit busy parents and almost every instance of him being victimized by another character has either been racist bullshit - The Al Ghuls and Rose Wilson- or a complete 180 for the character that made no sense when examined through the lens of prior characterization - Jason for instance.)

Almost every fanon trope that gets passed around like gospel seems to deliberately push POC characters and women into the background and strip them of interesting complex traits and stories, usually for the purpose of fitting them all into bite sized incorrect quote character types and uncomplicated narrative roles that are not only completely divergent from canon, but primarily exist to prop up the two rich white boys.

Also the insistence that Bruce, a 20 year old at the time, should actually be excused for how much he mentally and emotionally fucked Dick up because really they're more like siblings! While deciding that Dick at the same age was actually the perfect candidate to be Damian's new parent/guardian...have you lost the fucking plot you don't even make sense to yourselves.

Okay I lied at the beginning, I do hate fanon. You guys are so uncritical about the media you consume it is BEYOND just letting people enjoy things and have fun. I guess it's one thing if you KNOW this stuff isn't canon and UNDERSTAND why these tropes are problematic and you engage with it as such, it's fine read and write what you want, but just spreading the same nonsense around and parading it around as "better than canon" (version of the character so bland and boring you've somehow made the old white men at DC look like geniuses in the art of representation) is just infuriating.

[alyakthedorklord]

Omg literally it would be SO cool if you wrote the rest of the playboy bruce trying to kiss the justice league without them realizing it (I know you said figure it out but the way you wrote it was so good and funn I would love it if you gave maybe a couple of scenarios)

Lmao honestly executive dysfunction is kicking my ASS rn and it was intended as a prompt. I will try tho, definitely taking inspiration from the others who responded to the post because I love them.

If you haven’t, go check out the notes on the OG Post above! @britcision, @ivywing, and @help-i-need-a-cool-username all had amazing additions and @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego wrote a fic:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48325771

As did @scrapcheck, still in progress

And Devilhorn!

Anyways LONG post under the cut

Hal Jordan

Hal is first to prove a POINT, as @britcision decided. Also because the bastard made it waaaay too easy. Remember- Hal was Joking. He genuinely thinks Batman isn’t going to try, because he’s way too straight-laced boring.

So when he’s at a bar in Coast City, and he sees this absolutely ravishing man lounging casually against the wall, bar lighting making him practically glow (he CALCULATED that) subtle makeup making his bright blue eyes pop as he looks Hal up and down… Well. Hal makes the first move.

Hal: “All on your own, handsome?”

Bruce, with “Mastermind” by Taylor Swift playing in his head, smiling sweetly at Hal: “Care to change that?”

They start talking. Hal doesn’t recognize Bruce Wayne at ALL (canonically he does not know who Bruce Wayne is, a point brought up by @help-i-need-a-cool-username) so all he knows is Bruce is a single father who works at a company he inherited from his parents, which is just (brucie voice) “so much less interesting than a test pilot!”

Bruce, grimacing internally but wrapped around Hal’s arm with the awed and interested eyes in full effect: “you have such a nice voice, tell me more about planes…”

He KNOWS what a fuselage is, thank you, Jordan. Whatever. He gets to gush about his kids, when its his turn to talk, good enough tradeoff. He can survive Hal Jordan’s bad pick up lines and pretend he’s into them. At a certain point Bruce breaks and kisses him just to shut him up. One down.

Diana Prince

I looked it up- kissing in Ancient Greece wasn’t always considered romantic, but also a greeting between two similarly-ranked people. Therefore, I think Diana would be pretty chill with kissing and honestly an easy target at a gala if Bruce plays respectful/clumsy/earnest himbo starstruck with the tall pretty woman, just a peck would make him the happiest man alive. But I wanna go a little more in depth.

Now, I’ve seen Flash and Martian Manhunter save Bruce and/or his kids and Bruce lays one on them, but honestly I think it would work well with Diana too, because she loves kids. Dick and/or Jason (whichever you want to imagine, I want them to team up screw canon) are WAY to excited for this, they’ve got a little script and everything.

WonderWoman, a kid in each arm, delivering them back to their tearful guardian: “Here we are, Mr. Wayne. Whole and healthy.”

Dick, playing into his role eagerly: “Oh my gosh, Bruce! Bruce we got saved by a princess! It’s like a fairytale! Except, you know, the princess is the hero this time, which is so freaking cool!”

Bruce, tears of gratitude rolling down his face (and he knows how to still look perfect while crying, its a skill): “I’m just glad the two of you are safe, Chum.”

Jason, big baby blues in full effect, absolutely asked Wonder Woman to be his mom earlier (to set groundwork, no other reason): “You know, usually the princess and the hero gets a kiss at the end of a fairytale, Bruce. But this princess is both. So how will she get a reward?”

Still choked up with relieved tears and now laughter, Bruce looks up at Diana and smiles: “Well, if the Princess wants a reward… then I would be a fool to refuse.”

Bruce kisses her on the lips, Dick and Jason both kiss her cheeks, Diana leaves charmed and amused by the sweet family. Such a good father, humoring his children and thier little fascination with her, so very respectful…

Two down.

J’ohn Jones

Okay, martians are telepathic. So this goes one of two ways, at some sort of charity or something-

Option 1, Batman is a realist: the charity event is a masquerade, and he wanders over to where MM is while thinking “it would be so funny, give me this.” As loudly as he can. And Martian Manhunter, who appreciates the audacity, gives him a kiss. (I don’t like this one because it technically breaks the rules of the bet, bc MM knows it’s Batman, but eh)

Option 2, Batman is a different breed: he manages to up the ante with his Himbo Persona. Creating a “slippery void” mental facade that blocks of his real thoughts and makes him read as really just that stupid. This would require functioning with two trains of thought at once, and making sure that the Martian can only read the surface level, “oh, this one is pretty” “I really wouldn’t mind kissing him” and other such decoy thoughts, instead of “target is approaching, signs of interest present despite this not being his natural form-“

Bruce also researches and copies Martian courting styles and copies them “by chance,” catching MM’s attention. (He offers him Oreos)

Martian Manhunter: “this man… he is so empty headed and yet clearly kind and willing. I would not take him for a life partner, but for some simple fun as he seems to desire…”

(Edit: Maybe, if B is confident enough, he lets through his loneliness. Missing his parents, wanting affection, an ache so strong it’s like a physical wound. J’onn feels the same ache for his lost family, and decides to try this human’s strategy to fill that void. Either way…)

Batman 3, League 0

Barry Allen

I’m strangely blank when it comes to the Flash let me just spitball and let it snowball

As I said above, people have had him save Bruce, had Bruce seduce him at his workplace while taking a tour, I even saw @help-i-need-a-cool-username have Dick set up a petition for Bruce to kiss the Flash. (An idea that I personally think would also go really well with Superman lmao.)

Anyways, I think it would be funny for Bruce to take it slow with Barry. For the irony of it all. Because Batman is doing this to prove a POINT. So he’s in central city, spots Barry coming his way, and “accidentally” slips right into his arms. Ooh, or covered in coffee, like a wealth disparity drama base script, and Barry’s like “omg i am so sorry let me pay you back.” And bruce is all “this shirt costs (stupid amount of money)”

Barry: (fear)

Bruce, rolling with it rn: “yes, it is horrendous, isn’t it? Hows this- I’m in central city for a day. You can pay me back by showing me around?”

He then proceeds to string barry along on an honest to god DATE for shits and giggles. They go clothes shopping, they go to restaurants, Bruce pays for a big meal bc this is after a fight or something and Barry got hurt, his speedster comrade needs to EAT, damnit.

After all this, he gives a cheeky smile and lightly smooches Barry. “Thanks for the fun day, Mr. Allen.”

Barry, bright red and goo brained: “hah- mmhmm. Yeah…”

Batman 4, League 0

Oliver Queen

This one… Oliver is on guard. He’s twitchy and suspicious, turning down men flirting with him, people are starting to notice. But Bruce? Bruce just walks up at a party while “tipsy” and lays one on him. Straight up. He wants to show just how EASY it is. Because Oliver doesn't even register it. He just laughs and goes: “Hey Brucie! Miss me?”

Batman 5, League 0

Dinah Lance

Of course, immediately after above, he turns and pouts at canary.

Bruce: “Dinah darling, you are a saint, I don’t know how you put up with the mess he’s got on his face. He was so much nicer to kiss when we were in (fancy private school name drop) together and didn’t have all this nonsense.”

Dinah, laughing at Ollie’s offended noises: “Oh, I don’t mind it. He’s a good kisser.”

Bruce: “Of course he is, I taught him. Care to compare?”

Dinah: “Don’t mind if I do.”

Batman 6, league 0

Clark Kent

For Clark, Bruce is originally talking to Lois before he turns his eyes on a quiet Clark and croons: “So, Miss Lane, does this lovely specimen have his own questions, or is he arm candy? And if he’s the latter, can I either tempt him off you, or secure an invitation?”

Lois, an excellent friend who will absolutely set Clark up with the hottest bachelor in Gotham: “Well, Mister Wayne, I’ve got all I need. Clark, take a page from my book and honeytrap a good quote out of him, hm?”

With an obnoxious wink, she pats a spluttering Clark on the shoulder, and leaves him with a very smug Batman.

(Bonus Superbat- Clark and Bruce’s conversation is going REALLY WELL and to the point where both of them seem on board with more than a heavy makeout when Bruce puts a hand on Clarks chest.

Bruce: “Stop.”

Clark, freezing immediately: “I’m sorry, did I go too far-?”

Bruce: “No, no. I think I might be though. See, I have all of you now, and I’ve won the bet.”

Clark: “What are you- oh. Oh- HUH?”

Cue sudden and shocked revelation, Clark’s mind going a hundred miles an hour, and then skidding to a stop on- he only did this for the bet. He’s not really interested. He stopped because I went too far-

Bruce: “You only consented to a kiss without knowing my identity. Right now, I’d like to do more, if you’d let me.”

Clark has the dial-up tone ringing in his ears, he has no idea whats going on anymore, the hot billionaire and his reclusive teammate aren’t quite slotting into place, because he wants both but rhey’re so different but they’re the same but-

“Yes.”

Lois doesn’t get Clark back that night and she is delighted.)

Anyways, final results:

Batman: 7

League: 0

Reveal:

Batman talking shit about their secret identities again, Green Lantern is scoffing about it again, says something along the lines of: “You still think you’re sooooo great, huh? Hows the bet going, spooky?” Fully expecting Batman to get huffy with him.

Instead, Batman smirks.

He leans in

And purrs: “So you didn’t notice?”

The League freezes. The implications are dangling over their head. Did he… did he really?

Green Lantern, absolutely terrified: “No. no, there’s no way…”

Batman: “Oh, there absolutely was a way. I’d say you were a good kisser, but honestly? I think it might have been the euphoria of getting you to shut up.”

He turns on the rest of the league, still smirking. “I have kissed every single person who consented at least once in the time since the bet was made. Two of you with tongue. And no one has called me out on it. Now that you know it’s happened, you should be able to figure me out, so whoever can tell me my real name first, wont get thier story used as an example in the brand new “how to avoid honeypots” seminar.”

(If bonus superbat, B shoots Superman a Look and goes “except for you, superman, because I told you my name.” Which just ends up distracting everyone else until they get THAT story)

Diana wins bc she matched up the boys to the robins. Everyone else gets their stories told in excruciating detail. Batman rates them by kissing ability and how obvious he was on his approach. Oliver gets docked points for “texture.” Dinah gets docked points because “i griped about the exact same thing in and out of costume, how did you not notice-“

(Different reveal below)

@chaos-n-kindness @she-went-that-way @geekonaleash @redh00dsbf @howabouticallyou

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hiya I saw your requests were open so I was wondering if we can get a Tim Drake x male reader

The reader is a bigger older guy, like not too older than Tim but reader does have a streak of gray hair due to the stress of taking care of Bruce's dumbass.

Reader is kinda sly and fox like.

Idk why but I can see Tim liking someone older than him

Tim Drake x older male reader

Headcanons

I feel like tumblr has been deleting requests from my inbox, I swear some go missing. This one didn’t though, so here you go.

It’s been a while huh? Who’d have thought getting ready to graduate would be so stressful.

Reader is about Dicks age, so around 26.

You didn’t meet through hero work or anything like that. You were actually the CEO of a larger company called Aces co. It had been in your family for many years, and your father and grandfather had worked with the Waynes.

So, when you took over at 18, you started working with Bruce Wayne, even though you thought him nothing much more than a himbo at the time. Later, when Tim took over, you’d work side by side with the younger man.

One way or another, you learn Bruces secret identity, and soon you end up mixed up in the vibrant and extremely stressful world that is heroes and vigilantes, you’ve lost count how many times you have had to cover for any of the batclan.

You almost burst into tears when you see the first grey hairs appear at your temples. Your father had gone grey much later in life, and here you were, 24 and greying, all because of the bats. Of course, it wasn’t all the bats, running a billion-dollar company was stressful too, but they sure didn’t help.

The media called you the fox prince, because of the sharp look in your eyes and how sly and underhanded you could be, insulting someone straight to their face and they would first realize days later. Or somehow tricking someone into revealing all their secrets to you.

None of the bats can ever seem to reach your level of mingling and information gathering, even Bruce who has been doing it longer than you’ve been alive.

You never become a hero, or a vigilante for that matter, but you do get involved every now and then if needed. You didn’t take over Aces co. for no reason at 18, you have always been a genius, but a sly and cruel one in the eyes of many.

Unlike Bruce, you don’t feel a soul deep duty to save the world and save as many people as possible. You simply do what you can, without putting yourself in too much danger. Which mainly resolves to you gathering too much information, and enough blackmail to have the entire congress of America and the EU buckling under for your whims.

You are an extremely cold and calculated businessman as well, to the point where underhanded companies like Lexcorps won’t work with you because they know you’ll rip them apart and leave them with nothing.

It was your cruel but very effective business methods that drew Tim to you, especially when it turned out you were a lot more friendly behind closed doors. He did get to hear you complain about him and his family a lot, and it gave him a good laugh to see Bruce open a bill for your hair treatments to get rid of your greys.

The alliance between Wayne enterprises and Aces Co. only grows stronger between you two, and you end up closer to Tim than you’ve been any other bat, even Dick, despite the fact that you two are the same age and have been around each other the longest.

It ends with you going out of your way to score the best deals for (Tim) Wayne Enterprises, and Tim finds ways to benefit (you) Aces Co. Its like flirting and foreplay at the same time between very powerful rich businessmen.

For some reason I can imagine most of the batfam is shocked when Tim and you started dating, whilst some of them aren’t surprised at all. Bruce is uncomfortable in the beginning that one of his former business partners is dating his son, until someone (most likely Jason) points out that you aren’t even 30 yet and took over your company the moment you turned 18.

Your relationship is kept a secret for the media, mainly to keep the drama and paparazzi away. You aren’t a very publicly affectionate person, and Tim doesn’t really like mingling with the media if he doesn’t have too, so it’s a win-win.

The two of you don’t go out of your way to be super secretive though, you just aren’t all lovey dovey all over each other. Some people may notice you getting a lot crueler and colder to those trying to cross Wayne Enterprises, and Tim striking down hard on anyone who tries Aces Co.

It’s assumed it’s just cuz you two are both young CEOs who are trying to strengthen the relationship between your companies. All your mutual friends and families knows its cuz you are both protective and a little possessive.

You are most likely the one in the relationship with the most experience since Tim has spent most of his time being a vigilante, so you’ll have to guide him in the beginning. He’s a great and enthusiastic learner though, so Tim probably ends up doing all kinds of research.

He lovingly calls you his old man, or jokingly calls you a cradle-snatcher, since you look older than you actually are cuz of your greys. It probably causes some drama online when your relationship finally gets out, until people are like “He’s literally only 26, he’s just greying early”.

Tim will comfort you when you end up with your face in your hands because of those comments, weeping for your once beautiful and not grey streaked hair. He loves it though, and always tells you.

You tell Tim he likes it cuz of his daddy issues, and he ends up being all “maybe so”. Doesn’t stop him from loving it though, or loving to see that foxlike glint appear in your eyes when you are about to strike on a deal.

[brucewaynehater101]

Tim who knows who Batman is under the cowl goes to Bruce and begs him to get his boyfriend/lover/husband/Significant other under control is a genius idea

I would like to suggest that Tim still gets involved in the vigilante lifestyle 100% because Tim without his young justice friends makes me sad and while he could be a civilian consultant/associate, I think he'd get more enjoyment being in the field with them

And as a vigilante who may or may not be associated with Batman but is 100% a Gotham vigilante, Tim manages to gaslight the justice league into believing that Bruce Wayne and Batman are indeed in some sort of relationship, even the ones who know, who have seen Batman without his cowl and have seen Bruce Wayne's face under that cowl, start to wonder, maybe the kid is right? Maybe Brucie stood in for his boyfriend/husband/lover to help conceal the Batman's TRUE identity as...they still don't know who for sure

After all, Clark at least knows that he's stood in for Bruce Wayne on at least one occasion and there are little ticks that indicate that the person under the cowl isn't always the same and dudes with superhero level athletic builds are actually pretty common in Gotham

Possibly this may eventually extend to rogues who learned the Bat's identity like Deathstroke, who start to wonder if the Bat that they unmasked was really the Bat or has the Bat been using poor himbo Brucie because he is THAT paranoid?

So Bruce as Bruce will still have Tim prodding him to restrain his lover and help him with his grief, might have Tim as probably not Robin but definitely a vigilante obscuring his identity, and could also have well meaning JL members or anti heroes scolding him for "using" his boyfriend and putting him in such danger by having Bruce Wayne of all people wear the cape and cowl

Dick, in the background, is trying very hard not to laugh and he would 100% help Tim's efforts

And maybe Jason might be convinced that someone besides Bruce took up the cowl after Jason was killed which could be interesting...

Hmm... Very intriguing ideas, but I have questions.

For that AU, Tim refused to "believe" that Bruce Wayne was Batman. He knows who it is, but even after being shown evidence, he'll continue to refuse to acknowledge that Bruce = Batman instead of Bruce and Batman being lovers.

So, we have two options for vigilante Tim in this AU!

Tim becomes Robin (or something adjacent) while referring to Bruce and Batman as separate people. This would drive Bruce mad because he'd go on a full patrol with Tim and then take off his cowl as proof. Tim would still come up with some excuse for this and scold Bruce for letting Batman get away with shit. It's infuriating, but Tim is having the time of his life.

Option two is that Tim has a civilian identity with Bruce and becomes his own vigilante. He doesn't trust Bruce (hence why he refuses to acknowledge Bruce is Batman) and needs to ensure Gotham is safe. He thus finds his own training and stumbles upon Superboy (and then the rest of YJ). Bruce highly suspects Tim is that vigilante, but he can't prove it or stop him.

When Jason comes back, he hops right onto stating that Brucie and Batman are a thing (maybe even doctoring "proof" for social media).

[haveihitanerve]

I love that as a fandom we just tend to ignore that canonically Bruce calls himself Batman. Like naw there’s three versions: Brucie, Batman, and just Bruce. Brucie is the himbo, the mask he wears in public, the one who helps gotham and donates and walks teenagers home and all that. Batman is the vigilante, the one who protects the innocent and is occasionally an asshole to his fellow heroes and sidekicks. But Bruce? Just Bruce? Just Bruce is a good dad, he isn't emotionally constipated, Just Bruce follows his kids after an argument and comforts them, Just Bruce apologizes and understands, Just Bruce fights for his kids like hes on his last breath, Just Bruce cares and is there and Just Bruce has a good relationship with everyone, he offers advice to his friends, he takes YJ members in, and he is good dad Bruce Wayne. 

[luludeluluramblings]

What do you think of a Reader as a teenage anti-hero. They have a pretty upbeat personality, don't ask why. They like to tease others and especially they like to stimulate competition for the love of Bruce from Batkids

Bruce: I don't think my kids love me.

Reader: *Shows Bruce the Batkids arguing about who is Bruce's best kid*

I have thought about Anti-hero Reader on the regular. (I keep getting distracted by it, too.)

Slight, very slight, NSFW themes below

I tend to make an OC and then change their background for different scenarios. I have thoughts of an Anti-Hero!Smalltown!Reader that causes chaos cause therapy in Gotham is shady AF, but this version of Reader wouldn’t be related to the Bats at all. (I kinda wish I had written and posted that version, but I wanted to do a neglect story. Maybe after the neglect story I’ll do it. I would still keep the weather powers, though. I came up with a fun vigilante name for them already.)

Both versions of Reader, however, are petty and teasing.

So here’s a short list of petty things Reader would do to be passive aggressive.

Calls everyone, except Bruce, daddy. (Damian is exempt because he’s still technically Reader’s brother.)

Claims Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) is their favorite Justice League member. Would also call him Daddy. Yes, in that way.

Would claim Jon as their new brother, he is also exempt from the daddy name due to being so precious. (Of course, he will be salty about it.)

Buys suspicious things to throw in the trash. Reader knows they’re the world biggest snoops, might as well make things awkward for everybody when they do.

Will ask questions and say things they know will start arguments, even if it means playing stupid. “Is water wet?” “The earth is flat.” This also includes triggering competitions between everyone.

Will absolutely roast the ever loving shit out of each respective member’s alter ego right to their face.

Refers to Batman as Stellaluna.

Reader is the epitome of Bruce’s Brucie Wayne persona. They play bimbo/himbo/jimbo act just for the troll factor. And, the family will fall for it at times.

I might add more to this later. I was very excited about this ask. Unfortunately, I had to rest because it was grocery day and it’s hotter than the devil’s left testicle where I live. Sucks me dry of all my energy. (I have part Six pretty much done, too. It’s coming. I’m just dragging my feet.)

[aeturnum-mendacacium]

watched a bit of dc super hero girls and usually( ☝️)they would yk portray Bruce as this himbo, like, obviously he's an ✨icon✨ but he's still well over 6 foot, and a very muscular man, the clasic perfect man charector yk, he still gives off OLD MONEY VIBES even if he's in his 20's at the time and that's also why people like him cause, sir, why did this man who could practically be royalty roasting this random unethical buisness so much that the on lookers had to evacuate because of the dangers of a 3rd degrees burns, but this same man also accidentally ruined a million dollar antique carpet but falling and tripping over the chocolate fountain and said "meh, it's fine darling! How much could it ever cost? 5 million?" But he does it with STYLE for some GODAMN reason there is no picture of him other than his childhood/teen pics ANYWHERE where he DOESN'T look like a dilf

but when I watched this show I got WHIPLASH BRO

like

alfred looks so perfect and I love his voice actor, batman looks a bit different but still looks good, his interrligble grumbles were absolutely hilarious, Barbra was cool,loved her, there is no mistake to talk about, with dick ig it could do better with the design and give him more of the ✨gremlin energy✨ but WHO THE FUCK IS THAT TWINK????? YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT IS BRUCE???? BRUCE WAYNE?????HIM????? I mean not that I'm complaining but HOLY SHIT

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

Reasons as to why I think it would be funny below:

-Cyclonus and Tailgate have been mentioned before but come on, it would be so funny. Here's Cyclonus that looks like a full on rogue even in his holoform and then there's his sunshine husband Tailgate that decides that he wants to be a hero. Cyclonus decides that sure, he'll go along with it if only to make his conjux happy. Too bad everyone thinks Cyclonus is the hero and Tailgate the sidekick.

-Ratchet has also already been mentioned but it would just be hilarious to see him try to tackle Gotham and all the shenanigans that comes with living in the city. I can also see him picking up Robin like a kitten.

-I just think Arcee and Damian would get along. Arcee is an ancient warrior that wields swords and Damian would take one look at her and go "I want to be like her when I grow up". Killer robot grandma and her little killer kid vigilante grandchild.

-Jazz would open a club and it would become the most popular place in Gotham. Fuck the Iceberg Lounge, Jazz's club is the place to be! Becomes the next Gotham celebrity, his himbo playboy persona on par with Brucie Wayne.

-Listen, Bumblebee is old. Old and tired and filled with rage. But he takes one look at the chaos that is Gotham, sees the homeless people and the struggling kids and decides that he has to do something to help. And if that means dropkicking Black Mask then by Primus-!

-Vigilante Drift. That's it. Gotham is so similar to Dead End and Drift knows that he could help people. So, he does. Mainly busts drug rings and protects the homeless population. Might accidentally become a gang leader.

-Riptide would 100% accidentally become a crime lord. He just stumbles into it. His goons know this but they just like him so much. He's nice to them, doesn't make them to terrible stuff and the pay is good. Riptide doesn't even know he's a crime lord, he thinks he's just in some kind of club.

-Accidental rogue/antihero Nautica. In her attempts to find a way back home to her own universe, she commits several crimes, breaks into Wayne Enterprise, leads the batfam on a 3 hour chase, starts a revolution and befriends Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy.

-Fortress Maximus to damn big for this damn city. Accidentally steps on the batmobile. Accidentally kidnaps Nightwing? Nightwing in turn listens to this 52 feet tall robot have an anxiety attack and calms him down. Now they are friends.

-Swerve living life in Gotham. He loves it. Yeah, it's chaos and people are a bit weird but it's also so exciting! The heroes and villains are so cool! He's got various fan blogs. Opens his own (human) bar and it becomes a hangout for rogue goons.

-Blurr starts working in the Iceberg Lounge as a bartender. His holoform is hot so he gets hit on a lot. He loves the attention. Penguin loves the revenue he brings in and promotes him to the poster boy of the place. Batman, as Bruce Wayne, decides to seduce Blurr to get some info on the Penguin. Shenanigans ensue.

-Little sad meow meow Waspinator gets found in the dumpsters by Damian and is subsequently adopted. Alfred takes one look at this pathetic bot and his heart breaks. Bruce returns home to find Waspinator in his living room, snuggled up in a blanket and asleep. Damian threatens to disown him if he makes Waspinator leave.

[space-dreams-world]

DPXDC soulmate prompt au:

Everyone has a soulmate. Even if the way you meet your soulmate is different, you can still feel a click in place. Even with different species, romantically or platonically, and multiple soulmates. ( like one person has by sight, and their soulmate is by touch. Basically, you can have soulmates with the same markings or two different types and still work)

So, Danny, after becoming Phantom and dealing with the ghosts, finally finds a way to shut down the Portal around his last year of high school, and multiple people aren't happy about that, i.e. his parents, the ghosts, Sam, the GIW, and even Vlad as he was banking on the fentons for his shit to work, and he had plans surrounding Danny's family.

He gets run out of town by Amity and his parents after they uncover his secret. Danny then spends the next few years in space, discovering aliens.

(During his disappearance, the GIW are disbanded, Vlad doesn't have access to the zone anymore and asking for him to search in space is a permadeath sentence for him, his parents regret their Gung ho attitude and miss him. In a twist of faith, an accident kills them off, and they are working through their regrets in the zone, waiting to see Danny so they can pass)

Now, as I mentioned at the top, this is a soulmate au, so in Death, Danny is able to get a feel for soulmate, like if his soulmate had a marking for him to recognize even if his soulmate identifier is lock on sight. (He essentially has an advantage of figuring out his significant other as he has his soulmate symbol on him.)

So, whose Danny significant other? Look no further than Gotham depressed himbo dad, Bruce Wayne, whose soulmate identifier is a tattoo of Danny's mark.

This could be pretty early on in his hero career or after Duke is a part of the Bats, but basically, Bruce goes on a space mission with the league and in one of their stints to get info, Danny immediately recognizes Batman's mark which was his soulmate clue. So, Danny, who hasn't spoken human or been on earth in years, has zero in on him,but they don't get to talk before Bruce heads back to earth, but Bruce knows there is something off about the possible alien man.

On Bruce's side, he hasn't seen anyone that has made it work, except if if you want to make it a polycule with Superman. (Dick has his redhead squad or the titans, Jason ends up with Roy or someone else, Tim has Bernard and Kon, and Damian is starting to platonically be friends with Jon. Cass has found her soulmate in Stephanie.

(The Joker is a weird case where he has a soulmate that isn't born yet or died already, or he has no one and that why he is crazy and scars the Bat symbol on him as he sees his enemy with no soulmate either.)

Anyway, something big happens on earth, like an invasion, and the Bat is almost killed before a bright light descends upon the sky and removes the threat. Batman, once recovering his sight, sees the same masked alien man from before. Once they regroup, the masked man removes his helmet, and Bruce finally gets his soulmate connection. Danny has aged significantly since his first departure of earth and attempting to relearn earth's customs and figure out what happened with his family and friends.

( Jazz is soulmates with Talia and is in a secret relationship with her after Damian is made.

Sam is soulmates with Paulina but despises this, which causes her some mental instability, and refuses to acknowledge their bond, somehow still banking on Danny being her knight, and rebrands herself as Pamela Isley or Poison Ivy and finds love in Harley.

Tucker actually renames himself after Amity as Silas Stone and has a child. He works with Alien Tech to see if he can find his best friend again.

Dani is only made after Danny's return to earth but loves her indefinitely as he feels that the Portal had robbed him of a good life with offspring.

And Dan is working on his aggression in the zone.)

[dolphin-writer]

Story Idea That May Never Be Written

Danny almost 18, decides to leave home, Tucker has a new identity ready for him and everything. With help of Jazz he plans to finish his hs classes online.

Right before he leaves his parents find out/he got sloppy/ his mom freaks but his dad stops her and just hugs danny. He is confused, guilty, and hurt by maddies reaction. Tells danny he’ll handle maddy and to just go as he planed

Danny moves to Gothem, for its high ecto levels and basically chill not give a fuck attatude. And other than the petty crime which he knows he can handle it will be great. He finishes his hs classes and gets a job at a mechanics shop.

Jazz is in college in Metropolis as she thinks the rivalry between the sister cities is interesting to study. And now she can use it as an excuse to visit Gotham and Danny.

Sam and Tucker graduate and move to college. Sam goes to Gotham U where Danny is taking night classes as he is now a full time mechanic at the shop. Tucker is at MIT, working at a tech help store.

A year and a half after he ran Danny gets a message from his dad. Jack is now living in Metropolis near Jazz. Maddy lost it, something about everything hitting her at once, the knowledge that her son died in her machine and that she continued trying to end him for years after, and all the things Phantom had to do hit her at once and shifted something in her mind. She was not sane anymore. She wanted to get Danny legally marked as dead because a part of her knew he died. Jack tried to fight it until Jazz told him that it would be good for Danny to lose that last tie so he finally agreed. Shortly after Jack had her assessed and committed to the hospital and then pleaded to the courts for a divorce so he could focus on his last remaining child Jazz instead of watching Maddy rot away. The courts granted it and Maddy became ward of the state. Jack moved to Metropolis and got a job in helping design security systems. 

By the time Sam and Tucker were graduating Danny had risen to running the shop only below the owner. Sam got a job with a Dr. Pamala Islie working on keeping plants from going extinct and trying to revive ones that were. Tucker was still working part time at that tech repair shop but was really working on getting his own tech/coding business more widespread. 

Danny finished his night classes shortly after them and got a good pay raise with it. Right around this time a big bomb hit Gotham in the form of Gothams Prince Bruce Wayne had returned. No one officially knew where he had gone, lots had begun to doubt he would come back saying he was probably dead. So it was a shock to everyone. And soon gotham gossip came to life with the stories of the himbo playboy. Danny could care less but it was fun getting Sam wound up about him. 

Tuckers business officially took off with big names using it such as (Queen Industries, and other companies associated with future heroes) he moved permanently to Metropolis to be close but refused to move to Gotham saying the lack of sun would kill his complexion, which sam returned with like you spend any time outside anyway?

As a year passed Wayne Enterprise started expanding, small at first building up their departments before adding new ones. Then the Martha Wayne Foundation hit the streets. Founding food kitchens and clinics and pharmacies that were cheap to free for anyone. It made a difference for some. Danny started to question the Bruce Wynes' himbo status as it was clear that this wasn’t just a pr move.

Then two years after the circus that was Bruce Wayne's return as the city quieted back down to its normal levels, the people began to hear about a monster, a demon that had been hunting the criminals of Gotham, a shadow that would leave criminals tied up for the police to find. He was a story that word of, would not spread outside of Gothams borders. Now this was something Danny watched and listened for news of. This creature or man was taking over the city little by little and Danny was protective of the city that had become his home. But he was retired and happy so he waited and observed.

Eventually they got a name, Batman. The cost for them gaming the name was that villains, not just criminals were popping out of the woodwork every other week. It was getting concerning to team Phantom, and all of Gotham in general. The press started to blame Batman for these villains' existence, calling him a menace and demanding his arrest. And Danny was conflicted. This man, for he was just a normal human as far as they could figure, was trying his best to save people, stop a problem that was not his fault but he probably felt responsible for, and now the city was against him for it. Danny did not enjoy the parallels and the reminder of his old life, but he sympathized with Batman and became a very vocal supporter of him. 

Eventually others joined Danny in his support of Batman. Eventually the people calling for his arrest were drowned out by those thanking him for trying to protect them. Eventually the police stopped chasing him and started working with him, even asking for help at times.

Time passed Gotham adjusted, as it always does. Danny was getting bored, he loved the mechanic shop it had become his baby, he trained the new hires and even got a couple to tinker and build things with him. But he got home and was bored, so he started experimenting with baking. He had learned how to cook over his time of living in Gotham and quite enjoyed making food for his family, Sam was always stopping by to raid his fridge since he started experimenting with making vegan food. They even got Tucker to admit to liking it. So the natural next step was trying baking. His first few attempts weren’t a disaster but they weren’t very good either. But as time passed he got better but then he faced a different issue. What to do with all the deserts. Everyone he knew was given some, and then the rest were donated to a food kitchen. At Jazzes' suggestion Danny applied to work part time at a small bakery. It was right on the outskirts of Crime alley run by a couple of older ladies and their son. Danny got to bake and work on improving recipes and they got to sell what he made. Though they did try to set him up with their son several times after finding out Danny was bi. So life settled.

Then Batman got a partner, a child partner, and Danny got upset. He had been a child vigilante, he had barely survived being a chile vigilante. Danny who took in and trained as many street kids as he could at the shop. Danny who proudly watched those kids become adults and make it in Gotham. Danny who kept an eye on all the heroes popping up around the globe, and knew that none of them had brought kids into it. Danny who thought about “his” kids as he dug into Robin and realized that Batman was trying to protect the kid in the ways he knew how, and that Robin probably just like his kids didn’t really listen when you tell them no if they’ve set their mind on it. So Danny was still worried but no longer upset with Batman. 

Then Bruce Wayne started showing up at the bakery.

Bruce is a total dork who struggles with basic human interactions at times. So at a cafe/bakery he tells the 17yo cashier, “Compliments to the chief” like a weirdo. She awkwardly hollers back to Danny, who comes out confused.

Bruce has oh fuck hes hot.

*story happens in between but I don't know what*

Something happens Danny speeds away on his bike. Eventually taking it off a bridge into the water before going invisible and flying to his dads in Metropolis. He goes to the realms to lay low for two weeks after visiting with his dad for a couple days. He has to come back because one of his kids is getting married

Bruce who is crushing on Danny, is worried and talks to people. The ladies at the bakery point him in the direction of the mechanic shop. No one there is worried, they say Danny built that bike from the ground up, he has complete control of it, it couldn’t do something if he didn’t want it to. Plus Jerramy is getting married next month and Danny wouldn’t miss that, he’ll be back.  Bruce thinks these people are delusional and still worries and tries to find anything. He finds nothing but dick and Alfred have figured out that he definitely doesn’t have a crush guys, the mission. 

Danny shows up two and a half weeks later just in time to pick up his suit for the wedding. Bruce is kinda losing it. 

[gonnalosemydougdimmadomedamnmind]

Literally I am so sick of whore dick grayson, himbo dick grayson, fandom bicycle dick grayson, like yall really saw that dick is the canonical pretty boy with the nice ass and then proceeded to give him 'bottom' as a personality and just ran away with that. Dick is not a pretty idiot that loves having sex and only cares about his appearance, for fucks sake. He doesnt need to be rescued by jason todd of all people, who literally willingly burned all his bridges and can't even save himself, or wally west, frankly, who is one of his best friends but not the one he gets emotionally vulnerable with.

He doesn't do casual sex, at all. He needs an emotional connection first, is it so hard to believe that an attractive person actually wants to connect to someone instead of fucking them? Or fucking their problems away? Is it really so hard to believe that an attractive person can also be intelligent? Can also be kind? Can also be selfless? Can also take care of themself? Can also be a functioning adult? Can also be mature? Can also be damn fucking good at their job? Have yall ever met a real person before?

Dick is Romani and one of the most well known stereotypes about the Romani people are that they are like magically alluring people that can't keep their hands to themselves or that they're like thieving, dumb, dirty animals and what did yall reduce Dick down to? An overly emotional, stupid, pretty slut that acts without thinking.

You know just because something is racist in canon doesn't mean you have to take that and amplify it by 100 in fanon, right? Like the shit I have seen on this website alone, the takes that just won't stop, are literally so much more racist than anything you would ever find in canon. And good God, it's not like you have to make his race the forefront of his character! It's not! No one's is, that would be bad characterization. But should his being Romani affect the way you portray him? Should there be certain things you can be considerate about? Should being Romani be part of his identity? Uh, yeah.

And also. Should you maybe consider what he's actually like in canon to characterize him within fandom spaces? Uh, YEAH.

Dick Grayson is a romantic at heart, is extremely private, and cherishes the emotional connections he has with people. He is a good person because he chooses to do good things. He wants to help people! He's literally a genius, I mean this in every possible sense, academically, physically, emotionally, strategically, picking up and mastering skills with ease, being a detective... that doesn't mean he doesn't have problems. He's an extreme workaholic. He will never talk about his own problems to his friends or family, just the occasional therapist. He's so good with people, he knows exactly how to manipulate situations into his favor, to his own detriment. He will never give up on you, to his own detriment. He bottles up his emotions deeply, and yes, occasionally he does explode. He has a guilt complex the size of the sun. Everything is his fault in his head, Everything. He will accept the blame for anything, for his own rape even, because he's Dick Grayson and hey, he should've known, he should've been able to tell. (This is specifically talking about Miriam).

Everyone puts him on a pedastal because he's the guy that can actually pull off the impossible and no one but him realizes just how high that pedastal is. Bruce wants to be him, thinks there is literally no one better than him, no one who could soar higher than him, the ideal hero. His hero.

Goddamn Superman thinks he's the one person in the universe that will almost always do the right thing at the right time across every universe. And I don't mean that he will BE the right person at the right time, I mean he will DO the right thing at the right time, because Dick believes in the power of choices! Of free will! He could do bad things just as easily as the people around him, he could choose to be cruel because that is literally so. much. easier.

But he doesn't.

Almost ever.

In nearly every universe.

Do you know how much pressure that is? He drowns under the weight of his own perfection, truly. He can't fail.

He can't fail.

Isn't that so unbearably sad? You spend your whole life reassuring other people that everyone gets second chances, and that you are not your worst moment, and that you deserve compassion even at your most despicable, and that everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes things are inevitable, and sometimes all you can give is your best.

You are the only person. Who does not receive that same mercy.

He can't fail.

His family treats him as an emotional punching bag, sometimes a physical punching bag. Occasionally, so will his friends. It's hard to see the person behind the legend. And Dick's legend is truly titanic in proportions... the first child hero. No one could've done it, if he hadnt done it first. If he hadnt done it so exceedingly well. And then he had his own hero team. And then he became his own hero, again. And then he had his own city. He did it all first. The literal trailblazer, lighting the way for everyone else, not letting anyone stop him. Not waiting for anything. A force of nature.

Everyone wants to be him, be liked by him, be acknowledged by him. They all rely on him, the linchpin of a universe. Dick really is like the sun. Warm, encouraging, revitalizing. He is the light in the dark, illuminating and intense. Focused. Powerful. And they are all caught in his gravitational field.

Dick is so much more interesting than anything fandom will spare him. God, what I would give for fandom to give even a 10th of actual attention and critical thought to him or any other poc character in this franchise, that fandom gives to the white characters. I mean, we've all seen it. The narrative fabricated through lies that 95% of fandom takes as gospel because they refuse to engage with canon or simply don't care because it favors their favorite characters. In case you don't know, I am in fact talking about fanon jason todd- aka meaner Dick Grayson with Helena Bertinelli's lifestyle and fanon tim drake- aka less athletic, more victimized Dick Grayson. The white fandom darlings, extremely woobified, you know how it is. Sigh.