#Had a traumatic childhood
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Get rekt
#tomas vrbada#this is genuinely all the art I had time for this week#other than commissions#shout out to commissioners#anyway GOD I miss drawing#bi Han#Tomas snapping out the sick moves#hashtag childhood trauma#hashtag still getting traumatized#I’m so tired good night#mk#fffrost art#fffrost doodle#meme ig#mk1#mk1 sub zero
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me when i realize that the media i consume during bad times that makes me feel seen and understood is also making me wrongly believe that refusing to let anyone in is a reasonable coping skill, fueling my self-hatred, and worsening my ability to be vulnerable with the people i care about:
#i had to stop listening to car seat headrest when i decided i wanted to get better#vulnerability#fleabag#bojack horseman#normal people#a little life#phoebe bridgers#car seat headrest#csh#sharp objects#skins#euphoria#coping#coping mechanism#childhood trauma#actually traumatized#bpd#actually bpd#bpd stuff#bpd problems#actually borderline#anxious attachment#attachment issues#cptsd thoughts#just cptsd things#actually cptsd#ptsd#actually ptsd#actually autistic#traumatized autistic
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Shoutout to people with trauma that is uncommon.
Shoutout to people with trauma that little people have experienced.
Shoutout to people who have had trauma from multiple sources, making their experience unique.
Shoutout to people with trauma who struggle to find anyone who went through what they went through.
#just something I’ve experienced#I’ve had a combination of sources making it very hard and unique#one of these sources very rarely represented and about a year ago I found a subreddit with 500 people that went through the obscure part and#the relief I went through when I saw similar experiences#just because what happened to be ties into other aspects of life blah blah blah#I let out this breath I had no clue I was holding#the subreddit only has 1500 people but it’s super active and I feel seen every time I go and I never realized how important representation#of what I went through was until I finally found people who I related to#it’s complicated DM me if you want the full scoop lmao#mental health#positivity#self care#mental illness#self help#recovery#ed recovery#actuallytraumatized#trauma#childhood trauma#actuallytraumagenic#actually traumatized#trauma edit#trauma art#trauma survivor#traumacore#generational trauma#trauma healing#trauma recovery#bpd#ptsd
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A sketchbook dump, I was taking a break from drawing and watched Over the Garden Wall for the first time. Made me cry like a baby. I am not recovering from this ever.
#my art#traditional art#sketchbook#sketch#over the garden wall#as an older brother who had to go through a traumatic childhood situation with my younger sibling#this show hit way too close to home#the last episode got me crying like non stop
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coffee shop au where aku comes in his miserable looking goth glory and orders a 'coffee. black' but atsushi takes one look at him and is like 'i know something u'll like more' and aku is like 'barista r u unable to do ur job? tch. fine, whatever. but if i dislike it i will have ur organs' and atsushi makes him the most outrageously sugary and fruity drink he can
aku loves it
#atsushi taking one look at aku: i bet u had a traumatic childhood and a weird link to sugar due to it#sskk#shin soukoku
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me as a child when I realized my parents will punish me by withdrawing all parental love and affection: FINE! I don't WANT any! I literally don't want anyone to look at me or hug me ever again! I wouldn't accept it if offered! I don't need any of you! I don't need to be loved by ANYONE!!!
me thinking back on it now: it was the correct thing to not give in to such blackmail. But I did need love, like all children do, and nobody thought I didn't, no matter what I said back then. I shouldn't have been in a situation where someone tried to control me by taking away basic care from me. I stubbornly tried not to have needs but nobody was fooled. I was emotionally abandoned and dealt with it the best way I could back then. I needed actual parents, not those sadistic clowns.
#abusive parents#toxic parents#traumatic childhood#emotional blackmail#do what you're told or nobody will love you or look at you#fucking cult bullshit#shunned me at the age of 9 so i would be more easily controlled#but sadly it would take much more to control me#and they truly had no limits to how far they would go
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gay son & thought daughter
Parallels between Natalie and Gabe Goodman
🎥: @mttztrading
Eleanor Worthington Cox as Natalie Jack Wolfe as Gabe
#forever thinking about jack saying they both had quite traumatic childhoods#that made them these antagonizing powers#don't think too much abt the quality#i gave up keeping the quality when compressing#next to normal#next to normal uk#jack wolfe#eleanor worthington cox#natalie goodman#gabe goodman#dan goodman#diana goodman#jamie parker#caissie levy#musical theater#my gifs
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I think the worst thing about having very vague/spotty memories because I was so young when it happened is feeling like I can’t ever fully accept that it DID happen. I will always second guess myself—even though the evidence is always with me (the body keeps the score, as they say). I will probably never tell anyone who knows him about it because what if I’m wrong?? What if I’m making up these flashes of “memory”, and seeing “signs” in my present self where there are none just because I want an easy answer that would explain the way that I am???
It would be such a horrible thing to accuse someone of if it wasn’t true. Especially family. Even just thinking it feels cruel and unfair to him sometimes. And there’s no way for me to get the truth unless he were to confess it to me himself.
I fantasize about that sometimes—I like to picture him apologizing to me at some kind of reunion, scared out of his mind that I’ll tell someone about it and ruin his life. Or even unapologetic, making jokes about it. At least then I would have confirmation. At least then I would have validation for the last twenty years of my life.
Anyway if anyone else feels like this, you’re not alone.
#this is not my usual type of post but i feel like im losing my mind i had to get this out#and it’s fathoms easier to put it here than to say anything to anyone who knows me offline#but if you’re someone i actually speak to on this app if you could pretend you didn’t see this that would be great thanks 🙏#trauma posting#ro speaks#childhood trauma#repressed memories#csa survivor#incest survivor#i feel like a fraud using these tags lol#even now i can’t decide if i believe it or not#but like. bro. come on. you know#but DO I??#UGH#vent post#actually traumatized#csa vent#i am feeling very insecure about this post but here we go#trauma journal
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Peter Quill is the type of guy to randomly drop little pieces of Ravager lore on the Guardians and then continue on like nothing happened, like when your dad reveals hes wanted in five countries type shit and Guardians always get whiplash like… shit. I forgot hes a ravager. Like-
Rocket: hey you ever been to Trivida? Looks nice Peter: oh yeah i've been. Really pretty place. One time a few guys thought itd be funny to stick me in a burlap sack, so cliche right? And they threw me out of the ship. It took Yondu seven days to find me…………….. Also i never saw those guys again. Huh. Anyway its a nice planet. Cool people. Rocket:....... Im sorry what the fu- ~ Gamora: hey Peter, theres this creature thing that uh, wants to talk to you? Peter: oh! Achilles hey! Achilles, a giant flesh eating tentacle monster: Petey! Tell your old man I said hi why don't you! You never visit me anymore! Peter, who has Yondu saved as ‘kidnapper’ in his pager: oh yeah defo! He misses you too Gamora:...... what ~ Groot: I am Groot Peter: no no, sorry i cant Groot: i am Groot? Peter: yeah my legs magnetic because when i was like fourteen i wanted to steal this relic and then uh this older dude Macho didn't like that and he replaced my leg with a fire hydrant. Anyway want some nachos? Groot:.... Holy shi-
Just peter dropping lore the Guardians have no idea what to do with
#peter quill#guardians of the galaxy#besties#groot#rocket raccoon#gamora#they are very concerned#peter is jamming out with his walkman#and theyre like#'he shouldve been dead by now'#'oh 100000 times over for sure'#but also all of them had pretty traumatic childhoods#but theyre still like#holy hell thats... wrong dude#anyway#just some thoughts#brain rot
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KAI SMITH flip (caregiver-leaning!)
Kai Ninjago Smith is ABSOLUTELY an age regressor are you KIDDING me are you JOKING me. He is BASICALLY CANONICALLY an age regressor!!!!
"I bet he loves being treated like a baby..." (Nya, Season 14, Episode 6, Call From The Abyss)... Yeah he does because he IS a baby. He is THE baby. He is BABY.
His entire traumatic backstory is that, after his parents were taken from him from an early age, he had to step into a parental role for his little sister and become the adult of the family while still being a child himself. He had to grow up before he even really had a chance to grow at all. On-screen, we see that once his parents return and he's no longer forced into that role of responsibility, he canonically regresses into childish habits and language we have never before seen him use or display beforehand.
"Ham and cheese sandwiches with crispy bacon? Oh thanks, Mommy! You're the best! Mm... bacon is the best, too!" (Kai, Season 14, Episode 6, Call From The Abyss).
Conclusion? Kai Smith is the most age-regressor to ever age regress ever I will not take criticism because I am OBJECTIVELY CORRECT.
Anyway!! I think Kai is regresses from 5-9~ years old. We can tell from his diction that he doesn't seem to be a baby regressor (at least in this scene), as he's capable of fully-formed sentences and has the cognitive skills required to play video games, so that leads me to believe he might be a little-middlespace regressor! Kai's parents left when he was around 5, so it makes sense he wouldn't be an infant regressor, but around the little-middle spectrum, regressing into the same range of years in which he didn't have a chance to be a child before.
I don't just think he's an age regressor, though, I also think he's a flip, too! He definitely has some care-giving tendencies built-in to him from having to be a caretaker for his little sister for so many years, and so he pretty naturally slips into the role of a big brother caregiver! I imagine he leans more towards the caregiving side then the regressing side, just because being a caregiver is what he's used to being - what he's always had to be - but that may be prone to change as he becomes more comfortable with his regression! He hates regressing around the other age regressors, especially when they're regressed, because he feels like when they're small he has to be big and adult to take care of them regardless of his own headspace. We can see his caregiver tendencies displayed in... countless interactions with Lloyd. Speaking of...
LLOYD MONTGOMERY GARMADON age regressor!
I am, once again, OBJECTIVELY correct. Lloyd is basically canonically an age regressor. He IS canonically an age regressor. He is, quite literally, a child stuck in a teenager's body -- as in he was a child and then magic age-up tea turned his body into a teenager's but still left him with the mental capacity of a child. Which is the DEFINITION of what an age regressor is!! Bodily an adult but mentally a child!! He IS an age regressor!!!!
And even if that WASN'T the case, he'd probably be an age regressor anyway, because, like. Look at him. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders since he was, like, eight, was unable to be a child because he had to endure constant rigorous training and when he WASN'T training he was undergoing countless traumatic experiences while he was still a child.
Lloyd: Well...The latest issue of Starfarer just came in at Doomsday Comix and it's a limited run, so if I don't go out and get it, it's going to sell out. Last they left off, intergalactic rogue Fritz Donnegan was surrounded by the Imperial Sludge, and if I don't find out if he gets out alright, I think I might have my own doomsday! Kai: The fate of Ninjago rests on your shoulders. As the Green Ninja, you have a giant responsibility to hold. I'm sorry, but you don't have time for such childish things. Lloyd: Other kids get to play and have fun. All I ever do is train...(Season 2, Episode 18, Child's Play)
I don't even think I need to argue my case that hard for why Lloyd is an age regressor. I think it'd be harder to argue why he ISN'T an age regressor, actually. TRY to argue that he's not an age regressor. TRY. I BET you CAN'T.
I don't have much evidence for this one, but I imagine he may be a pet regressor, too! He's an oni-dragon-hybrid, after all, and his heritage have proven to come with strong instincts regarding this animalistic half of his genes, as seen throughout the Oni Trilogy. Even if he doesn't have any physical traits, it's likely he at least has psychological ones. I imagine he growls, gnaws on things, et cetera!
COLE BROOKSTONE caregiver!
Look at him. JUST LOOK AT HIM. The most caregiver to ever caregive ever forever. He has chronic can't-stop-adopting-children syndrome. He's adopted, like, three separate children at this point. It is becoming a problem.
"Huh? Oh, no. Don't make that face. Don't cry. Oh, I can't take it any more. Hey, look at me. Hehe. Yeah. I'm not sad. Ha-ha, I'm not crying. Oh, fine. But this is between you and me. Shine, little glow worm, glimmer glimmer. Hey there, don't get dimmer, dimmer. You like that, huh? Well, there's more where that came from. Glow, little glow worm. Glow and Glimmer—" (Cole, Season 8, Episode 5, Dead Man's Squall)
When his mentor canonically (mentally & physically) regressed into an infant his first and immediate instinct was to adopt and care for them. If that isn't agere caregiver behaviour I don't know WHAT is. HE BECAME THE FATHER TO AN INDIVIDUAL REGRESSED FROM THEIR NORMAL HEADSPACE INTO A CHILD.... HE'S LITERALLY A CAREGIVER GUYS!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU WANT ME TO SAY!!!!!!! I AM JUST STRAIGHT-UP CORRECT!!!!!!!!!!!
JAY WALKER padded regressor!
Jay: Aah! [He picks up a ruined stuffed toy.] Mister Cuddlywomp… [sobs] is a teddy bear I used to love when I was five, but now he's totally lame and—
Cole: We know you still sleep with him.
Jay: And I don't care who knows it! Mister Cuddlywomp... (Season 7, Episode 6, The Attack)
Jay Walker is DEFINTELY a regressor. His personality has been noted to be very child-like and babyish at times, to the point where the fandom (and showwriters) tend to infantilize him, despite the fact that in his own right he can be a very serious character when he need be. As much as I do believe he's an age regressor, it's important to remember he can be very capable and competent character when he's big, too, and not to define him by his regression!
If he's any regressor, it's definitely a padded regressor. Throughout the show, it's become a running bit that he's a bedwetter and has a weak bladder:
Jay: But I don't wanna get wet. I...I only have one pair of underwear.
Kai: Jay, this is no time to be making jokes. The Bounty can only take so much.
Jay: You think I'm trying to be funny? (Season 2, Episode 9, The Last Voyage)
Harumi: Uh, forgive me, but is that... underwear?
Jay: We're usually more organized. Ahem. But our leader got lost in a time-stream. Uh, they're Cole's.
Cole: They're blue!
Kai: You're lucky they're not yellow. (Season 8, Episode 3, The Oni & The Dragon)
Jet Jack: Then tell us, who do these diapers belong to?
Kai: Oh, those are Jay's. Tell 'em, Jay.
Jay: Oh. I have a weak bladder. (Season 9, Episode 2, Iron & Stone)
These are only a few of many, many examples (You can find others throughout the show, such as in Only One Can Remain, The Darkness Remains, Darkness Within, etc) of this bit, and though it's usually spun as a joke, there's no harm and shame in it! I imagine the ninja do actually buy him diapers, and as much they tease and prod, they never actually judge him whenever he has an accident!
ZANE JULIEN caregiver!
"I was built to protect those who can't protect themselves!" (Zane, Season 3, Episode 8, The Titanium Ninja)
I don't know what else you want me to say guys... he said so himself.,,,,,,. was built to protect those who can't protect themselves...,.....
Zane's entire identity is hinged around adaptability. Though I could go on a WHOLE 'NOTHER ESSAY about Zane's relationship with identity, the point here is that he often adapts to what people need him to be! I mean, he downloaded thousands pieces of detective media onto his hardware in order to try to track down the other ninja after they went missing, if called for I imagine he could very easily slip into the role of caretaker (he WOULD download hundreds of resources on age regression to help the other ninja)!
I don't have a lot of evidence for this one beside source: bro trust me but bro. trust me. The Vibes,,,, theyre there
These are just my personal headcanons based on evidence I've gathered from the show - I am in NO WAY saying these are the only headcanons or that they are the "correct" ones!! In fact, if you have DIFFERENT headcanons for the ninja (esp. ones I didn't provide a lot of detail for), I encourage you to share them in the tags, I'd love to hear other's opinions!!!! ^^
If this gets enough interested, I might make a pt. 2, so stay tuned!!
#honestly they all probably could be regressors with how traumatized they all are.....#they ALL had their childhood stripped from them and responsibility forced onto their shoulders when they were kids#can u tell i'm normal about kai (wrote an essay for him and like a paragraph for the others)#i love all the ninja equally ok. i swear#➥ sugar speaks ˊˎ#➥ 🐝 big sugar ˊˎ#➥ headcanons ˊˎ#➥ sugar’s stuff ˊˎ#sfw age regression#ninjago age regression#ninjago agere#age regression#sfw agere#agere headcanons#age regression headcanons#fandom agere#agere blog#agere post#boyre#fandom age regression#ninjago kai#ninjago lloyd#ninjago jay#ninjago zane#ninjago cole#ninjago headcanons#sfw interaction only
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I just don't understand trauma responses.
#“oh no i had a bad childhood and now i cant stand people touching my hands”#so dumb#(this is my own experiences btw im not insulting random traumatized people for no reason)#lol.exe#blackout poetry#pro endo#endo safe#endo friendly#anti rq#radqueers fuck off
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I've been thinking about what each Batkid would score on the ACE (adverse childhood experiences) test.
It is a very shallow measurement of how fucked someone's childhood is. It isn't comprehensive and isn't eligible for comparing trauma. It's merely a list of shitty things that could happen to a kid (and there's no measurement for frequency or intensity). You can look into it more yourselves.
For scores, the higher the number, the worse it is. 10 is the max. The questions are about someone before they turn 18. For these questions, I included Bruce as one of their parents. I didn't include Barbara or Duke because I wasn't confident in their answers.
Alright. Here's the scores I got:
At the top of the list, we have Jason. He has 10/10 on the ACE test :)
Next up, Steph and Damian are tied at 9/10.
Cass and Tim are tied at 8/10.
Finally, we got Dick at 7/10.
I used the americanspcc.org questions for them. If you got different scores or have numbers for Barbara and Duke, feel free to respond.
#dc comics#dc universe#jason todd#steph brown#damian wayne#tim drake#cass wayne#dick grayson#trauma isn't a competition this was just me being curious about what scores they would get#having a higher or lower scores isn't synonymous with being more or less traumatized#all of the kids went through bad shit#just because someone has a lower score doesn't mean they had a better childhood#the ace test is more like a fucked up checklist than an actual trauma measurement
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hi im still mad davesprite never got to talk to dirk
#IT'S SUCH A WASTED OPPORTUNITY#Exploring the different ways the daves have dealt with their trauma#And their relationship with bro#Like#Davesprite Saw bro die#There's a chance he even died saving ds#And even just the guilt from not being strong enough to save him#coupled with how dehumanized he already feels from being the'Other Dave' n part of the game#Would make it So much harder for ds to realize just how bad his childhood was#Not to mention his lack of a healthy support network#(Noone really had a proper support network tbh. Their all fucking traumatized teenagers)#How he was isolating himself#I'm#THE FACT THAT HIS THOUGHTS ON BRO ARE NEVER EXPLORED#I'm normalI'm normalI'm normalI'm normal#Rambles#Daves
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Young ~3-y/o Harry following Petunia around the house while she does chores. Young Harry holding onto Petunia’s skirt and sucking his thumb while she does the dishes. Young Harry playing quietly in the grass near Petunia while she weeds the garden. Young Harry just wanting to be WITH someone at all times. Young Harry trotting along after Petunia all day being her little shadow until her patience wears thin and she sends him to his cupboard. Young Harry being a clingy child who desperately needs affection but never gets it.
#😭😭😭#my boy has abandonment issues i don’t make the rules#he was torn away from his family and everyone and everything familiar to him at such a young age#and thrust into this entirely new environment#with people he’s never met before#and he just wants his mum#but she’s not there#no one can tell me 1 y/o Harry had an experience that traumatic and then didn’t have abandonment issues#my boy was a clingy child#and it hurts me#and older Harry has become so accustomed to abandonment that he starts to expect it#and is then pleasantly surprised when people stick around#petunia dursley#harry james potter#tw child abuse#tw childhood trauma
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a movie........
time for a rant that has been a looong time coming because
the FUCK??? NOOOOOOOOOOOO PLEASE NO NO NO PLEASE GOD IF YOU'RE OUT THERE NEVER LET THIS MOVIE SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY NEVER EVEN MENTION THAT SHOW EVER AGAIN IN MY PRESENCE it should fucking DIE and stay DEAD
the WORST fandom i've ever come across/been part of. everyone was so fucking braindead. god the bullying here was So Bad. vld fandom was the epitome of 'you can't enjoy what you like'. and the bullies were like, some of the most popular blogs here. the content creators (among others ofc) here were NASTY. the people making decent art were so fucking rude to almost anyone that didn't bow down to them and agree with their views on the show, sitting on their high horse like they were fucking gods or something when they were like, 17 or something. mind u voltron was a show about ugly transformers lions and a bunch of kids in space meant for 7 YEAR OLDS. like stfu it's not deep, it's not important. i get that this is the internet i really do but apparently everyone was a pedo and homophobic and racist and needed to be cancelled because they weren't pure angels. i hope the people who liked the show, both teens and adults alike, have grown up and learnt what those words actually mean and why you shouldn't just casually throw them around. i hated you all. u had to be so careful about what you said on here, it was like north korea or something. i remember how kids got bullied into deleting their harmless fanfics, the fucking voice actors got bullied on a daily basis, it was BAD. i remember i got hate for having shiro as my icon and the background was the bi flag colours. I AM BI. also, so what if i had headcanoned shiro as bi, you couldn't have stopped me or anyone else from thinking that, and also IT WOULD NOT HAVE MATTERED, HE'S FICTIONAL, HE'S JUST LINES AND PIXELS. i know this is going to shatter some of your worlds (or at least would have back then), but a random ass nobody on tumblr headcanoning a character as bi when said character is "actually" straight/gay/whatever is NOT going to affect irl queer people in any way, it does NOT have real life consequences. who gives a fuck. since when has the fandom given a shit about canon anyway? fuck you.
okay, i've been bitching about the fandom enough (no i haven't, there's no way you can ever bitch about the vld fandom enough). what about the actual show? well. once again it's meant for 7 year olds. who cares if it was good or not. i've seen seasons 1–6. i liked season 1, didn't really like anything after that since the show seemed to change so much. the first season kind of has a different vibe completely? idk how to explain it, it just kind of feels like the actual show and then the rest was just a long fanfic by someone who was in love with keith's character. but since i was watching the show with my sister who was 10 at the time, it was fine, otherwise i wouldn't have kept watching after seeing season 2 i don't think.
here are a few negative things about the show imo:
making keith the main character out of nowhere after s1 (where he definitely wasn't the main focus) was so dumb. god the showrunners loved keith sooo much, it was so stupid. keith was nooot a leader. whatever.
making keith the black paladin was also so fucking stupid my god. and yes, everyone here wanting LANCE to become the black paladin just because he was the fandom favourite (don't get me wrong, he was my fave too) was so fucking braindead too honestly. shiro or allura. no one else made any sense.
canon allurance SUUUCKED. like holy shit that was so bad and horribly written, even lotor and allura had a better love story and had waaay more chemistry (and their relationship ended badly, rightfully so). and NO klance was never ever ever going to be canon, you were so delusional. like lmaooo did we even watch the same show? i just really enjoyed their dynamic and that's why i shipped them together, whatever. but yeah, like i said the bullying here was disgusting and everyone was cancelled, great, klance seemed to be the only thing you were allowed to like so in that sense i was lucky.
everything they did with allura in the later seasons............ you know what? i'm not even going to start. because wtfffffffff, as a storyteller myself i ?????? what in the world were they thinking. but yeah whatever it does not matter.
the point of this post is that EW EW EWWWW FUCK THAT SHOW AND FUCK YOU, if you were in the voltron fandom in 2017/2018 i personally hate you
#voltron#vld#voltron legendary defender#klance#allurance#🤢#if you disagree with anything i said. you're wrong. dni.#i was happy with my klance fic back then tho. i deleted it but hm i should probably post it again just for shits and giggles#it was a childhood friends to lovers no voltron au where keith was pining HARD lol#im usually not this negative but the whole… vld experience i had here on tumblr was kinda traumatizing#it took me a few years to stop being so careful and nervous and scared online
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Arthur had every right to hate magic. I won't take back these words.
#no kill for it#but hates.#he had every damn right#like since childhood#Do you know how traumatic it must have been for a child to be a victim of all these attacks?#he lost his mother#his father hated him#his people are dying#because magic#Arthur Pendragon is a better person than me because I would never question whether magic is good after something like that#like everything is uther foult#but Arthur is so fucking traumatized#anyone who says Arthur was cruel by saying bad things about magic to Merlin will get punched in the face.#Merlin also said shitty things about magic. Arthur doesn't know#thats one thing#the second is THAT AFTER YEARS OF SUCH TRAUMA#I WOULD ALSO SAY SHITTY THINGS ABOUT MAGI#LET ARTHUR BE MAD IN MAGIC REVEL#because if it already is#then you're making him a monster#NO. he had the right to be angry. any of us would be furious#let Arthur get support. Let Merlin apologize TOO.#BECAUSE MERLIN FUCKED UP TOO#how I hate this fandom#“Merlin angst” stfu#both sides fucked up.#arthur pendragon#merlin#merlin bbc#merthur
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