#Grounding techniques

[zee-rambles]

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Grounding Techniques

First I Prev I Next

[gentleaffirmations]

Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are safe here in the present moment.

[traumasurvivors]

This is the 5-4-3-2-1 method for grounding! I'm going to break down the steps on the image, with a couple additional ones added.

Step 1 - Start with breathing if you can. Breathe in to the count of five, hold it for five seconds, and breathe out to the count of five. (If five is too long, feel free to adjust this to four or use an alternate breathing exercise you prefer.)

Step 2 - What are 5 things you can see around you? Examples: the clock on the wall, a plant on the windowsil, etc.

Step 3 - What are 4 things around you that you can touch? If you're up to it, also touch them and think about what they feel like (soft, hard, rough, etc). Examples: Maybe it's the blanket on your bed, maybe you're sitting on a chair, etc.

Step 4 - What are 3 things around you that you can hear? Examples: Maybe it's your cat purring, the fridge running, maybe there are birds outside, etc.

Step 5 - What are 2 things around you that you can smell? If you are not in an environment where you can smell something, feel free to move somewhere that you can or even bring a scent to the space (like body spray, body lotion, etc).

Step 6 - What is 1 thing you can taste? I find that people sometimes get frustrated with this one because if you haven't recently brushed your teeth or eaten, taste isn't easily identifiable. As an alternative if you don't currently taste something, what is is something you like to taste?

Step 7 - Take one final deep breath, counting to five as you breathe in, holding for five seconds, and then counting to five as you breathe out.

Step 8 - Take a moment to be proud of yourself. You did it and made it through this! If you can, try and put this aside to try and do once a day so that it may come to you easier in a time you need it. (I'll take this opportunity to share a reminder that you should practice grounding exercises when you're calm so that they are easier to do when you aren't! And sometimes, you'll be surprised at how helpful they can be when you don't even think you need it.)

[neptuneslure]

clearing negative energy (a twitter thread):

cr: wetneptune on twitter

[jiraisupportgroup]

~ Tips for Dealing With Anxiety or Intense Emotions ~

This post is really long so in the interest of not clogging your dashboard here’s a table of contents

1~ Dislcaimers

2~ Accepting Your Situation

3~ Grounding Exercises

4~ Expelling Anger

5~ Addressing the Trigger

DISCLAIMER: I am not a therapist or a doctor!! Please take everything I say with a grain of salt.

Additionally, depending on what causes your anxiety some of these tips may not help you very much or may actually end up making things worse! For example - if you have OCD and one of your compulsions is counting things, the "counting" grounding technique probably is not a good fit for you and could actually exacerbate the symptoms of your OCD. If you experience depersonalization or derealization some mental-based grounding techniques may not work for you. If you have CPTSD - sometimes writing through a situation that was traumatic can be intensely triggering and should be done in a safe and controlled environment (often with a therapist if that is a possibility for you). Please use your best judgment when choosing what tips to try. If at any point while following these tips you feel heightened anxiety or an increase in negative emotions - PLEASE stop immediately and move on to a different grounding technique. Please don't feel bad if any of these tips do not work for you - it does not mean anything is wrong with you. Everyone is different and will have different reactions to things.

~ Accepting Your Situation ~

✰ Do Not Talk Down To Yourself ✰ There is no shame in experiencing intense emotions. You are not being unreasonable or dramatic or dumb or anything like that; you are experiencing emotions. That is OKAY. You are allowed to feel upset, you are allowed to feel anxious, you are allowed to feel angry, you are allowed to feel panic. Telling yourself "I shouldn't be feeling this" is not helpful! It's also not true! No rule says you have to feel certain emotions in certain situations. The fact of the matter is that you are feeling these intense emotions, and we have to go from there.

✰ Remove Yourself From the Situation ✰ If you experience these emotions while you're in a situation like an overcrowded store, or a conversation you're having - remove yourself from the situation. Go ANYWHERE else. Your bedroom, the bathroom, a quiet corner, your car, anywhere where you can sit down and be in a quieter and less busy environment. If there is another person involved in the situation tell them "I need to take a minute" or "Please leave me alone for a minute". You do not have to tell them why you are upset or how you're upset, just tell them to give you space. If you have a friend or someone else you trust nearby tell them what you are experiencing. It doesn't have to be specific, just say "I'm having really intense emotions right now". If the person making you feel this way is refusing to give you space; walk away. You do not have to justify yourself to this person - you do not owe them any responses - your number one priority is getting out of the situation. If that means you completely ignore them and literally run to your car or the bathroom and lock yourself in - then do it. If this means you have to call for help - then do it. Whatever you have to do to remove yourself from the situation, do it. I would much rather you feel like you're being dramatic and making a scene but get yourself out of the situation than stay in that situation to avoid "causing problems". Slight side note~ most of this post is based on the assumption that you are not actively in danger or a triggering situation. If you feel unsafe or at risk of being harmed (mentally or physically) by another person or yourself, please seek additional help and ensure your safety. ✰ Make a Safe Space ✰ We want to ensure that you are in a safe environment to avoid further triggers and allow yourself the feeling of safety so you can process the emotions you are feeling. Once you are removed from the situation (or if you're experiencing these emotions outside of an active situation), make things as comfortable for yourself as possible. Think about each of your senses. Sight - Is it too bright in this room? Too dark? Does watching sensory videos help you calm down or stay relaxed? Sound - Is it too loud? Too quiet? Do you need earplugs? Do you want to play some calming music or nature sounds? Binaural beats? Touch - Are you too hot? Too cold? Do you want a weighted blanket? A stuffed animal? Do you need to change into more comfortable clothing? Smell - Does it smell nice? Do you want to light a candle or some incense? Do you have any lotions or perfumes you enjoy the scent of? Taste - What are you tasting? Do you have a drink? Water? Juice? Do you have any gum or snacks you enjoy the flavour of? I do quite enjoy going through a little check of all the senses because it can double as a grounding exercise. Note that this doesn't mean you have to light a candle and play music and chew gum and change clothes in order to process your emotions - you can if you want to or have the energy to, but the important part is that you feel safe and comfortable.

~ Grounding Exercises ~

If you are feeling anxious or upset, utilizing a grounding exercise to bring yourself back into your body and calm your mind can be really helpful. Keep in mind that often times if you experience an intense emotion your body will release adrenaline, which can take up to 10 minutes to process once it stops being produced. If you don't calm down immediately that doesn't mean anything is wrong with you - try to be patient with yourself. For as long as you need engage in a grounding exercise (or multiple grounding exercises). ✰ Breathing Exercises ✰ Slow down your breathing. Breathe intentionally. Feel yourself breathing. There are many different methods for this. Below I put some of my favourite breathing exercise GIFs I use, try them out and see which one you like the most!

✰ Feel Your Body ✰ Literally. Physically. Press your hands together, and see if you can feel what sensation comes from which hand. Tap your feet on the ground. Touch your elbows to your knees, how does that feel? (I like this one because I think it feels weird). Analyze the physical sensations you're experiencing from yourself, your clothes, your chair, whatever is around you. Use things with more intense (but safe) feelings like ice or cold water if you are struggling with basic touch. NOTE ~ Depending on your situation and history this may be a triggering experience for you. If at any point you get the urge to scratch, hit, or otherwise hurt yourself or the things around you please stop and move on to another grounding exercise. Additionally, if this begins to lead to negative emotions about your body itself, please try to stick to focusing on the feelings of physical objects around you instead of your body itself; if the feelings continue please stop and move on to a different grounding exercise.

✰ 5-4-3-2-1 Method ✰ What are 5 things you hear? What are 4 things you can see? What are 3 things you can touch (from where you are sitting). What are 2 things you can smell? What is 1 thing you can taste? Go through your senses and really try to feel them as much as possible. Analyze them. You can hear music but can you hear multiple things in that music? Are the notes going up or down? Is it very staccato and jumpy or is it more strung together? You can feel your bedsheets, but do they feel different in different spaces? Are some spots warmer than others? Do both sides of the blanket feel the same or are they different? It's 'soft' but is it more silky or fluffy or velvety? ✰ Do Something Active but Small ✰ This is one of my personal favourites. If you have a small ball toss it up and catch it. Toss it with one hand and catch it with the other. Toss it back and forth. Feel it in your hands. Do you have a fidget spinner? Spin it. Feel how it's harder to move it around when it's spinning. Spin it one way, then the other. See how fast you can make it spin. Play a basic tapping game. My personal favourites are typing games or easy rhythm games. Seeing something on the screen and then tapping to respond to it keeps your mind and your hands busy, and can help you kind of zone in. Stretch. Feel your muscles, are they tight? Do they loosen up when you stretch? What parts of your body are the most tense?

✰ Counting ✰ Do this in a way that really makes you focus. Count up in 3s. What about 4s? Count backwards from 100 but only the even numbers. Count to 100 but avoid any multiples of 5. How many different numbers can you make with only 2s and 0s? NOTE ~ Counting can very easily become an OCD compulsion. Be cautious if you feel yourself resorting to counting frequently and in situations where it is not a conscious decision, or if you start to feel like bad things will happen if you do not count or that you HAVE to count. If you have OCD and foster compulsions easily please try a different grounding method.

✰ Recite Something Out Loud ✰ Say the words to a song or poem you know, or pick up a favourite book of yours (mine is Alice in Wonderland because of course it is) and read it out loud. Focus on how the words sound and what they mean. Is there any wordplay? What words do you enjoy the sounds of vs what words do you not like so much?

✰ Use Anchoring Statements ✰ State facts. "My name is xxx. I am xxx years old. I live in city, state. Today is Friday, July 26th. It is 2 in the afternoon. I am sitting at my desk. My pet is in the room." Just state facts about who you are and where you are. NOTE ~ Be cautious not to spiral with this. If you start saying negative things about yourself or your home such as "This room is dirty" or "I don't deserve xyv" please stop and move on to a different grounding method.

✰ Be Your Own Comfort ✰ Sometimes I pretend I'm another person comforting myself, like the anxiety is a kid and I have to step up and comfort the kid. So I'll walk myself through things. "You're going to stand up, you're going to walk to the kitchen, you're going to pour yourself some water, you're going to drink the water" or even "You're okay, you're fine, you aren't in danger, you are doing your best, this feeling is not going to last forever". It sounds dumb but sometimes hearing it out loud can help, and the more you tell yourself these things the more you believe them.

~ Expelling Anger ~

If you are experiencing intense anger you might need a more physical or emotional outlet before you can calm down. You want to allow yourself to feel that anger in a way that is not destructive to you or your surroundings. Please note that there are different schools of thought on this and different people react in different ways! Some people say to release your anger through a controlled outburst, some people say even controlled outbursts keep you in that headspace and can cause you to become even more angry or agitated. Keep in tune with your body - if while you are doing these things you notice yourself getting even angrier or even more agitated, try a grounding exercise to calm yourself down instead. The final goal is that you are more calm and less agitated at the end of this. Try and feel out what works best for you. ✰ Do Something Active ✰ Go for a walk. Go for a run. Lift something heavy. Clean. Do jumping jacks. Do something active to get your angry energy out. ✰ Throw or "Break" Something In a CONTROLLED Manner ✰ Break something that is okay and safe to break. Tear up a piece of paper. Throw ice cubes into the bathtub. Throw a tennis ball around (preferably outside if you can). Throw stuffed animals at the wall. Beat up the stuffed animals (they will understand I promise). You can be "destructive" in ways that are not actually very destructive. NOTE ~ Sometimes these actions can make things worse for some people and increase your want to break something for real or do something destructive to yourself. If you experience these wants while engaging in one of these activities - do your best to stop and try something else.

✰ Scream ✰ Into a pillow or - my personal favourite - in your car. I am known to take little drives around town and scream at 3am because I just have to get it out. If you can't scream for real try silent screaming. Pretty much act just like you're screaming but don't actually make noise. It can be more effective than you would think.

✰ Cry ✰ Cry as much and as HARD as you can. Let it out. Be embarrassing and ugly about it, like really for real cry. Cry "unreasonably" hard. I like to set a timer for 10 minutes and just cry as hard as I possibly can for those 10 minutes just to get it out. There is no shame in crying - it's generally pretty healthy for you. Crying can release endorphins and oxytocin which are pretty much "brain feel better" chemicals. Some studies also suggest that crying can reduce stress hormones in your body. Crying is awesome. NOTE ~ Try to avoid hyperventilation. If you are prone to hyperventilating while you cry or if crying tends to lead to panic attacks for you, be cautious. This doesn't mean don't cry, just be aware and don't try to make yourself cry harder artificially. Also please avoid looking at triggering media to make yourself cry - if you don't feel like crying don't make yourself feel like crying please T-T

Once you have gotten it out and you're starting to feel a little better, I personally recommend doing a calming grounding exercise afterwards to give yourself time to fully decompress.

~ Addressing the Trigger ~

Once you have calmed yourself down and feel like you're mostly in control again, it's a good time to review the situation. It is up to you if you want to do this - if you did some grounding exercises and you feel better now and you want to move on, go for it. But if you've still got some lingering feelings or you find yourself thinking about the situation again afterwards I usually recommend analyzing it.

Breaking down and understanding a situation can help us a lot in the future because it helps us learn what makes us upset and how we deal with it. It also helps us understand our emotions better so we can work with that and develop coping mechanisms that work for us.

NOTE ~ Depending on what the situation is, like if it was a traumatic event, it can be very triggering to write through it like this. In these cases I typically recommend working through them with a therapist if possible - if not possible try to stay in tune with your emotions. If you feel like you are getting anxious or upset, or even potentially could send yourself into a flashback, please stop, ground yourself, and come back to it whenever you feel ready whether that be the same day or multiple days later.

"BREAK IT DOWN" Journal Prompt Sheet ^ This is a link to a Google Document that lays out how I personally break down situations. It's got an example in there to kind of show you how I use it, but you can make a copy of the document and delete that to use for your own situations ^-^ Below are the prompts and what they mean;

✰ What are the play-by-play facts of the situation? ✰ What objectively happened? Try to keep emotions or your guesses at the other person's motivations out of this one. Just state the concrete observable facts. ✰ What is the context surrounding the situation? ✰ Now you can talk about your emotions and what you think the other person’s motivations were. What led up to this? Do you have past experience with things like this? ✰ How did you feel mentally after this happened? ✰ Try to use specific words or really elaborate. “I felt sad” is not as meaningful as “I felt like I was being betrayed” or “I felt like everything I had been working for was meaningless and got taken away” (To absolutely no one’s surprise, I’m putting the emotions wheel in here for reference)

✰ What are your worries about the situation? ✰ What did / do you think was / is going to happen? What were / are you scared of happening? It does not matter how “unreasonable” it is - go ahead and write it. ✰ Did you feel any physical reactions to the situation? ✰ Did you chest hurt? Did you tense up? What areas of your body were affected? Did you feel exhausted afterwards? ✰ Why do you think you felt these ways? ✰ Think about similar situations or other times you’ve felt the same things. Did something specific trigger you? Did you just get overwhelmed because you were really tired? It’s also okay to say you don’t know. Sometimes things happen and you just don’t know why. ✰ What would you like to happen with this situation? ✰ If it’s ongoing what sort of resolution would you like to see? If it is done and over what sorts of things would you like to happen in future situations like this? ✰ What sort of compromises do you think you'll have to make? ✰ Consider the other person’s point of view, or if a situation like being in public in general triggered you consider how you’d deal with that in the future. ✰ Do you think these are reasonable expectations? ✰ Is this doable? Is this agreeable? Try not to fall into "no because they never agree with anything I say" try to think if you asked someone completely unrelated to the situation if this solution seemed appropriate what would they say. ✰ What sort of actions can you take to make these things happen? Is there anyone you can trust to help you in this situation? ✰ We love an action plan! How do we prevent this from happening again or how do we build up our coping mechanisms to be able to handle it if it does happen again? ✰ How are you feeling right now? ✰ Check in with yourself. Writing through things is hard. How are you doing right now? ✰ Is there anything you can do to reward yourself for working through this right now? ✰ You deserve a reward!!! Writing through things is hard!!! Reward yourself!!!

Thank you for reading ♡ hopefully some of the information can be helpful to you. I also cannot stress enough please, if any of these tips negatively impact you do not engage with them further T^T this is one of those things that everyone is going to react to very differently, so I'm counting on you to be responsible and recognize which ones work or don't work for you to the best of your abilities, okay? ♡

[4spooniesupport]

[bruxasdebolso]

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

fr tho

[multiplicity-positivity]

Grounding Techniques

We often mention and recommend grounding on this blog as a way to help folks who feel dissociated, overwhelmed, anxious, dazed, blurry, or disconnected. But we don’t have a post specifically compiling grounding techniques, so we decided to make one! Here are a few things our system does to ground ourselves when we’re feeling out of it.

Breathe!

Breathe in deep through your nose for 4 seconds, filling up your chest and belly with air, then exhale through your mouth for 7 seconds. Rinse and repeat - we usually do this 4-6 times in order to gain a bit more clarity or calm down.

The following clip can also be used - feel free to save this and breathe along with it to help calm down!

(Description:) A short clip of a small line expanding into a triangle, square, pentagon, adding sides up to an octagon with the prompt “Breathe in,” then shrinking back down to a small line with the prompt “Breathe out” over a period of nine seconds (End Description.)

4-3-2-1

Try to notice and pay attention to your surroundings. List 4 things you can see, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can hear, and 1 thing you can taste or smell. You could also do 5-4-3-2-1 for sight, touch, sound, smell, and taste!

Sharp Experiences

Pull yourself out of a spiral, bring your focus on the present, or gain some sensation if you’re dissociating with a sharp experience. Hold a piece of ice or eat a lemon slice our a sour candy. Our system carries Warhead candies to help ground ourselves with sharp experiences.

Observations

Notice all sorts of things around you - clothes, furniture, utensils, anything within reach that you can safely touch. What is the texture like? Is anything soft, rough, smooth, hard, cool, or bumpy? What does it look like? Can you name some specific colors or shapes that you see? Try to be as specific with your observations as you can.

Take a walk

Take a short walk outside or around your current space. Try to notice how your body feels as you move. Count the steps that you take. Look at everything around you, and notice how what you see and hear changes with your movement.

Centering Statements

A centering statement can be a great way to help ground yourself in the present moment in time and space. You can write your statement down beforehand and take a look at it whenever you need, filling in the gaps for your present moment and situation. The centering statement our system uses these days says:

“My name is [system member]. I am a part of the Halberd Crew. I am [age] years old. I have [physical features]. The date is [date] and the time is [time]. I am in [physical location]. If I need help, I can contact [partner system] at [phone number].”

REST

While this may work for grounding when dissociated, this strategy is more intended for calming down when overwhelmed. We’ve covered this technique in detail in a previous post, which we’ll link HERE (<- hyperlink).

This pretty much sums up the grounding techniques that various members of our system use in order to help themselves when feeling disconnected or frazzled. We hope something here can be of some use to someone out there! Remember to look after yourselves to the best of your ability, and use some of these techniques to help ground yourself if you need to in the future. Thanks so much for reading, and take care!

[butterfly-in-progress]

So I was coming down from a panic attack/sensory meltdown the other night and struggling to get my brain to work, and my partner asked me, "hey, the first four prime numbers are 1, 2, 3, and 7 right?"

Immediately I reminded them that 5 exists and then they went "okay, and the next one is 11?" And I was like "yeah, then 13," and then it just became a thing about listing off all the prime numbers I could think of. This worked until I was back to myself and could talk about what was wrong.

Here's the thing. My partner is a senior materials scientist. He definitely knows the first four prime numbers.

That motherfucker got it wrong on purpose to get me to correct them. And I fell for it 🤣

Anyway this is a really useful technique for me as an autistic person, getting me to list off things I know well to soothe my brain in the aftermath of a Bad Time.

[disassociation-culture-is]

Please tell me some grounding techniques.

My disassociation is getting out of hand

Also I love your blog

personally counting helps me a lot! i can sit and count my fingers pretty easily.

2. introduce new physical sensations and focus on them! nothing dangerous. hand under running water, hold ice. something like that

3. 1-5 is always a good one - 5 things you hear, 4 things you see, 3 things you can touch from where you’re sitting, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste

4. holding a comfort item of some kind! ill hold one of my plush toys and think through how I got it, who I got it with, etc

healthline therapistaid medicalnewstoday

~ mod maz

[ineffectualdemon]

There isn't a whole lot of advice for if you're dissociating really badly and desperately need to ground yourself in a way that isn't dangerous

Most self harm advice covers being depressed or an emotional reason for wanting to self harm (which I have had in the past but that's not relevant to this)

Not a lot of advice for: "I am so desperate to feel connected to reality that I think bashing my head against the wall is a suitable solution"

The name 5 things isn't super helpful if you're alone and spiraling and dissociating heavily

Also I'm sorry most of them prompted by apps are stupid and don't work for me

It's usually like "name 5 colours" "name five yellow things" and the "name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can taste" which doesn't really work for me either

I think I feel babied and it irritates me

It worked better when my husband started asking me things like "name 5 whales" or "name five words that end in N" because it makes me actually think about my answers so I might pop in a small notebook and have him help me come up with questions

(Btw he asked me "5 words that start with P" and my answers included both patchouli and patriarchy)

I do better with physical sensations

So when I remembered I had a spiky ring i used that but I'm going to order more and a bigger one I can squeeze and roll about

I should probably try to find something better to bite. Tbh I need a chewerly item that has the right amount of give to really sink my teeth into

Most are too hard and hurt my jaw

Is it weird to say it needs the consistency of a human finger?

Other things I'm including is a gummy candy with a strong taste and some lavender facemasks because smell really helps but most perfumes give me a headache. A face mask though will hopefully feel like something on my face and will smell strongly but not in a migraine way

Does anyone have any other suggestions of things to ground me in reality that are helpful keeping in mind my mobility is very limited

[traumasurvivors]

There are several different categories of grounding techniques, and one of those is "Taste Grounding Ideas."

These can be helpful to distract yourself.

Here's a written list of my examples in my graphic:

Suck on a mint

Bite into a lemon

Eat a sour candy

Eat something spicy

Let a chocolate melt in your mouth

Eat a favourite snack

Drink a favourite beverage

Chew on strongly flavoured gum

[neptuneslure]

here’s how to clear it *click me*

@/wetneptune on twt

[stimboardboy]

grounding technique cards

[mahoushojo-chan]

Astarion x Tav || dissociation

something i wanted to feel

warnings: dissociation, ptsd, trauma synopsis: disguised as a drow, tav finds astarion after he's reverted back to old, unhealthy ways of using his body. she brings him back. When Astarion hears her normal voice, he feels soothed. “You weren’t here, fully. I wanted to bring you back.” She explains, like it’s the simplest thing. “If I let you continue, it felt like I would lose you.” she continues. an excerpt of 'cause my love (is mine, all mine) word count: 1,001 pairing: astarion/tav other tags: f!reader, half-elf?tav, bard!tav, hurt/comfort, angst, non-sexual intimacy, friends to lovers, song inspo: sanctuary by joji ao3: here concept: dissociation and grounding techniques

The elf—half elf, maybe, based off the point of their ear? They grab Astarion’s wrist to stop him, and pull him away. “P-Put on your clothes, first.”

There's something off, like the pieces of the puzzle don't quite fit together. The man before him appears unnaturally flawless, almost like plastic rather than real flesh. Confused, Astarion takes a step back.

“Well, if that’s… what you wish.” Astarion replies and proceeds to redress himself. He's so bewildered by the situation that he foregoes any reverse strip-tease or other playful undressing antics; it completely escapes his thoughts. He simply puts his clothes back on, sliding his pants over his legs and fastening his belt. His shirt follows, and after it's on, he walks back over to the other person. Astarion supposes that this is okay. He hadn't exactly planned anything out, after all. Whether he’s naked or clothed while he does… whatever he’s going to do doesn’t matter to him at all.

"Now, where were we?" Astarion inquires, his hands gently cradling their artificial features, as he attempts to regain his focus.

However, they gently remove his hands from their face and clasp his hands in theirs, asking, "How does it feel?"

Astarion’s response is automatic. “Oh, it feels lovely. I’d love to see what other—”

“Ah-ah,” they tut, “tell me about my hands. How do they feel?”

Astarion takes a second. A hint of confusion prods at his mind for a second before he understands that he’s supposed to actually be using his body to relay these sensations. He looks down, and the discrepancy between how they look and feel strikes him again. “Well, they’re soft, of course. They’re… thin, and graceful…” he says, all compliments that he expects they would want to hear. But then his hand runs over their ring finger, and he blinks, because he feels a callous that he doesn’t see. Then, he begins to realize who he’s with. “There’s always a callous that never quite heals, here… and then the scar, and… well, you have a hangnail here. Your nails have grown out, Tav.”

He grins, finally thinking he’s realized their ruse. When he looks up, he sees Tav give a tired smile, though she’s still in her disguise.

Instead of ending it there, she continues with a pleased hum, “Are my hands warm?”

“Yes, always. A little warmer today, but—what are you doing?” Astarion interjects, confused.

She never answers him properly at times like these. Instead, she asks him, “Do I smell bad?”

Astarion takes some time to mull it over before he shakes his head. “No… no, you rarely do. Well, my tastes deviate from others, and I take quite a delight when you’re covered in blood, of course, but—”

“What do I smell like?”

He takes in a breath of air, and then deeply exhales. Her scent is familiar, now. “Like… well, something floral, usually. A little like parchment, maybe the slightest of resin…”

She dispels the disguise. Even though it's just the two of them, it seems a bit reckless, considering he’s not sure how they'll escape. However, Tav usually thinks ahead more than he does, and Astarion doesn't have the time to dwell on it as she continues her line of questioning, “And do I look okay?”

Now that he sees her for her, his gaze drops into something more affectionate. “Your hair never sits quite right, here.” He says, teasing the rebellious tuft of hair on her head before flattening it. “There. Now you look perfect.”

He lingers a little when she finally lets go of his hands. He feels a little disappointed, but she self-consciously helps to flatten her hair. Astarion takes the opportunity to finally ask, “Care to tell me what all that was about?”

When he hears her normal voice, he feels soothed. “You weren’t here, fully. I wanted to bring you back.” She explains, like it’s the simplest thing. “If I let you continue, it felt like I would lose you. My only regret is not coming sooner…” she continues.

Astarion blinks in surprise. He realizes he hadn’t particularly been in pain, and part of him still feels like he wants to get lost in his own head, but Tav’s soft explanation—though he’s not quite listening to it so much as he is just relaxing into the comforting cadence of her voice—keeps pulling him back out of it.

The almost liberating numbness is inexplicably nudged to the side by his desire to feel her again.

Then it dawns on him, the gravity of his recent actions—how he had behaved when he was still feeling like a puppet on strings. He remembers pinning her against the wall, pressing his lips to hers, and he stammers, "Oh—I'm sorry for... I mean, I didn't mean to—"

"It was never going to happen," she states, and Astarion experiences a brief pang, a sting in a vulnerable spot, just for a moment. It's as though she's saying, I'm never going to sleep with you, but that’s what he wants, isn’t it? He wants not to sleep with her. He wants something beyond mere physical intimacy, and he has that with Tav.

Seeing his confusion, she snaps him out of his reverie and tells him, “It didn’t mean anything.”

This, in a way, makes the feeling worse because Astarion interprets it as ‘forget it ever happened’. But given that he’s still rather embarrassed about the whole ordeal—the inability to recognize her, his behaviour—he’s actually okay with complying.

So he takes her hands this time and rests his forehead against hers. She feels as warm as he remembers.

Finally, he responds. “Thank you.”

She seems to let him rest for a moment, and he sees her whisper a word of healing. He feels some of the earlier bruises and gashes heal themselves, and it’s not perfect, but he feels significantly better. At that time, he finally separates from her. But then, now that he’s fully present, he sees her as she is—she seems tired, her features gaunt, but she seems relieved.