#healing trauma

[theereina]

The only child I have the capacity to take care of is my inner child. I do not currently want children, and I may never want children. My wounds are too deep. The amount of healing I need may take a lifetime, and I refuse to put any child through that.

Children deserve happiness without conditions. My health, both mental and physical, are conditions I WILL NOT subject any children to endure.

To the children I will probably never have, this comes from a place of love and selflessness. I just hope the world can understand.

[samxcamargo]

Book: Night Drives 💖

[empatheticnymph]

FACTS.

[spookysalem13]

As a trauma survivor. And someone who continues to undergo trauma daily in many forms. I understand this more than I'd like to admit.

I've become very quiet. I've become even more introverted than I ever was before. More focused on healing. Diving deeper into my spirituality. Going to therapy. Doing shadow work. Because healing is so important.

[unwelcome-ozian]

[bl0omss]

[sunrisethoughts02]

please remember that if processing old trauma/doing shadow work/any emotional processing becomes exhausting, this doesn’t mean it’s not working. Even physical symptoms — headaches after crying, etc — deserve care and loving kindness. you’re not failing, you’re healing, and this is your chance to create new patterns of care and love for yourself 💜

[ghostoflillith]

It is not your responsibility:

To take on someone elses healing

To process someone's trauma for them

To monitor and manage someone else's emotions

To teach people how to love

To try and get people to appreciate you

To "keep the peace"

To spend all your energy trying to keep someone happy

To try and prevent someone from cheating

To teach people how to apologize & take accountability

To try and get others to change toxic behaviors

To accept responsibility for pain you didn't cause

To try and get them to heal pain they have caused to others

To do all the emotional labor in your relationships and friendships

To accept less than you deserve

To blame yourself when people treat you poorly

To teach them emotional intelligence

To stay quiet when you are hurting

To lie and hide things for them

To protect people who wouldn't do the same for you

To help someone else grow

To teach people how to find healthy coping mechanisms that work for them

To allow yourself to be taken for granted for the sake of "love"

To believe them when they have been caught lying before

To teach people self love

To make excuses, explanations or justifications for someone else

To allow yourself to be manipulated because you want to believe them

To control other people

To awaken them

To change their beliefs about themselves and the world around them

To convince them why they should want to better themselves

To pull them out of the hole they've dug for themselves

To try to repair relationships you didn't break

To stay where you feel you no longer belong

To make yourself small to keep other's comfortable

It IS our responsibility to heal OURSELVES, and in doing so, inspiring other's to do the same.

No matter how many people have told you that you are a "healer," it is NOT your responsibility to heal those who don't want to be healed, aren't ready for it, or arent appreciative of you.

Some may never take this path, and that is their choice to make.

Protect your energy.

[melblogsgfreethruptsd]

🙏🏼💕✨

[traumaalchemy]

[yourspiritguide-quotes]

I am not what happened to me: I am what I choose to become

- Carl Jung

[samxcamargo]

Book: Night Drives 💖

[arikasugar]

Do you have any advice about having anxiety and the need to be liked?

hey there, anon. I sure do.

I had pretty severe anxiety for most of my life that stemmed from this overwhelming need and desire to please others and keep them around. it kept me from setting healthy boundaries and eventually gave me an identity complex because I didn’t feel like I could be myself and have people like me at the same time. I would often settle for less than what I was worth as a result, because I didn’t want to be the cause of any confrontation or negative reaction from others. this took me a long time to work through in therapy and through self help prompts. let me share some with you.

start by unpacking and examining your anxiety and desperation to be liked. where did it come from? when was the first time you felt that way? did you experience any trauma that could have lead to feeling this way? what beliefs make up your anxiety? why do you have those beliefs? write it all down. once you boil it down to “I feel anxiety about (x) because (y) happened to me, and the trauma / feelings from this experience changed my beliefs about (z)” we can move onto the next step.

ask yourself how you would feel if the negative experiences that contributed to your anxiety and people pleasing played out differently. reimagine those memories in a way that worked in your favor, in a way that didn’t cause feelings of sadness or resentment or fear. maybe this is imagining a healthier relationship with your parents than what you really had, or imagining a reality in which you did not end up dating That Person Who Traumatized You. understand that had those things gone differently, you would have completely different beliefs about your self worth and relationships today.

you likely wouldn’t be full of fear of dread and obligation. but how would someone without the baggage of all those negative experiences feel? what would someone who came from an emotionally supportive and healthy background think about themselves? maybe they would have higher confidence, or a sense of intrinsic value for who they are and what they can offer others. maybe the courage to set boundaries and be honest, even at the expense of being disliked. now take a moment to digest the fact that this is the truest version of yourself. the one who would have thrived with the right love and support and environment is who you are at your core once you throw out all the bullshit.

now, emulate that. remind yourself of this often. remember who you’d be if not for the people and situations that instilled those feelings of fear and inadequacy into you. tell yourself that those negative beliefs you have about yourself are untrue any time they pop up. take the changes one day at a time. practice exposure therapy. take baby steps outside your comfort zone whenever you can. surround yourself with people who value you. read daily affirmations. little by little, start doing things your true, highest self would do. this is by no means an overnight fix, but eventually, you’ll see your own worth, grow your self esteem, and overcome your anxiety.

good luck, sugar

xoxo

[alchemyofmaya]

Isolation is for healing. But you can’t possibly know whether you are healing until you take the chance and go out and live, have experiences that bring up the possibility of triggering you, and then you will see — whether you’ve been healing or if you’ve just been avoiding all the things you fear will hurt you.

[connectingwithsoul]

Don't be with someone out of guilt. Don't make someone a charity case. You would always want more and you will never be satisfied with them. They deserve better than that. Don't let them or yourself settle for half-love. @connectingwithsoul

[returning-to-her]

Inheriting Contempt

My parents left me with a wonderful gift: contempt. I recently realized that this is my default setting in life. I often judge, sneer, and scoff when I react to a moment. It takes me a second to turn off my ego and respond from my core self. A conscious effort is required unless I am already in a state of Self. How lovely. It makes sense. My parents are both narcissists, and I was their…