#heartbroken but hopeful

[bl0omss]

[inkskinned]

okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.

like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).

but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.

im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.

[onethousxndvoices]

thank you for everything

[httpiastri]

hope we all know that this isn't just any paul aron who we're gonna see as the f1 reserve next year…

it's the paul who's been in love with racing ever since he was a baby, who wanted to race just so he could grow up to be like his brother. the paul who travels around to support his brother or his team even when he's got a weekend off.

it's the paul who finished third in his first-ever season of formula 3, who was in the fight for the title up until the last round (and would've had a much better chance if not for the team's mistake in spa).

it's the paul who fit so well into the mercedes profile, who expressed his gratitude to the team and their work whenever he could, who fought so hard to make them proud.

it's the paul who was always going to be put behind kimi in toto wolff's eyes, no matter how well he performed.

it's the paul who had to leave everything he had grown up with, his team of many years, his close friends and staff members, and move on. who had to let go of everything he knew from before and go alone.

it's the paul who went into his first full formula 2 season with hopes and dreams instead of expectations; who said he was there to learn and grow, and then he would see where that would take him.

it's the paul who failed to get into the top ten in qualifying for the first round of the 2024 season, but still managed a p5 in the sprint – and a podium in the feature, despite a time penalty, and got to celebrate in parc ferme with his brother and trainer.

it's the paul who, as a rookie, went onto the podium every round in the first seven rounds. who's been consistent like few others in a series (and team) known for its inconsistency.

it's the paul who never forgets to credit and thank his family, team and trainer, acknowledging that every success is thanks to a team effort – and that even if things don't go as well as planned, the team still did their best to help him out.

it's the paul who thanks to his determination and hard work managed to impress his f2 team principal, oliver oakes, so much that the latter thought "i need this guy on my team" when he became the alpine f1 principal.

it's the paul who fights every setback with an attitude of revenge instead of hopelessness; despite everything he's been through, he never gives up. he wants to prove everyone wrong.

it's the paul who turns every heartbreak – from mechanical failures to tactical missteps – into fuel for his fire. it's the paul who reminds us that success isn't a straight line; success is the product of unwavering determination and the courage to keep going.

it's a paul who's learned so much, grown so much stronger; who's been through so many hardships and said "you know what? i'm going to learn from this and come out stronger on the other side", and that's exactly what he did. i'm so proud to have gotten to follow him on this journey, and i can't wait to see where this next chapter of his life will lead him.

our paul aron. 💙

[lokimobius]

LOKI S02E01 “Ouroboros”

[gayofthefae]

"I should have explained myself because maybe then Eleven would have taken me with her, but - I don't know. I didn't know what to say."

That isn't what he said the first time.

"I should have said something. And maybe if I had said that thing, Eleven would want me there with her."

The sentiment of him being with her and knowing/ensuring she's safe is consistent. But he isn't actually repeating himself. There's no need for him to as a person and as a screenwriter, repetition should DEFINITELY be cut.

He's changing. He's brainstorming. He's starting to consider other angles of the "could have"s. The "what if"s.

He starts with "what if I'd just forced an 'I love you'". But I think he likely settles on what we can logically deduce for ourselves in that situation - "I made the right choice prioritizing with what I knew of the consequences at the time".So he changes. He changes.

He changes to "I should have explained myself".

"Explained myself" is NOT the same as "said that thing" and that is VITAL.

I should have just sucked it up and told her I loved her if it meant keeping her safe.

No, I did the best I could with the information I had

I should have told her the truth. Maybe she would have taken it better if I had just told her that I don't love her but it's my fault, not hers. Now she thinks it's hers and that I'm hiding it.

And, perfect timing, Will comes in with (in Mike's pov) "It makes sense why you didn't, though, don't beat yourself up. She was gonna get hurt either way and everything would have been a risk as to how much."

And Mike nods. And the next time we see him, he's saying

"Will she still even want me in her life if I can't give her the love she wants? All I can do now is to make sure she knows it isn't her fault, that's the selfless act I can do for her, but if I confess I don't love her, what other use am I to her? Will doing what's best for her by telling her it's not her fault, it's mine, instead of continuing to lie make me lose her?"

He says "explain". He starts with "maybe I should have changed the 'what'". Then he shifts to "maybe I should changed what she thought of the 'why'". Ironically, his question in the van once he's come to that conclusion is "how?".

The first pitch he makes is "maybe I should have told her I loved her" and Will says "don't worry, you'll have another chance", and he turns away and introspectively reacts with

aversion.

But then he says "maybe I should have just explained the real reason behind my actions instead of denying them all together" and Will says "that's a scary thing to do. It's a hard decision. You're doing your best", and he turns away and introspectively reacts with

understanding.

Honestly, being understood. And sometimes that's what you need to find understanding. He's been confused this whole time, that's been his whole thing, but he looks like he's starting to piece something together now - finally. Will put his own feelings into words for him to hear out loud so could finally get them and get them in a validated way.

Instinctively, he knew the first one was easier but wrong. He didn't want to lie to her. Both times Will said "if that's what you want to do, I believe in you", but only once did he agree. He knew it felt like the wrong choice the first time and you can see it. The second time was a new choice he was considering.

And you know what? While we're here. Telling her he loves her: aversion. Telling her the truth: understanding and drive. What happens next?

He expresses "what if when I tell her the truth, as I've decided is the right choice, she appreciates it but doesn't need me for anything else beyond that?" And Will says "she'll stay. You got this.", and he reacts with

Comfort.

He didn't know what to do. Then he did, but he was scared to do it. Then he wasn't so scared anymore.

He's thrilled to see her and forgets for a second but - much like El with Will on roller rink day - is reminded by seeing Will that now that she's actually here, it's real. He's committed to his actions and they're impending.

But he's not so scared anymore. Bravery, though, doesn't mean no nerves. He's hesitant and not happy looking when he talks to her about it first. He tries to lighten the mood - "the whole world went to shit and everything" - and he's watching her reactions like a hawk. It feels like less of a risk now enough that he can do it, but not so little that he isn't scared. Either way though, it's worth the risk for her to know the problem isn't her.

He didn't know what to do. Now he does. He was scared, but he's not as much anymore. Not too much to do it. They're interrupted. Okay, oh well, he'll find another time.

And now to break your heart:

Mike had an idea, Will said it was good, but Mike met that with aversion.

Mike had an idea, Will said it was good, Mike met that with understanding and agreement.

Mike was scared, Will said he had no reason to be, Mike met that with comfort.

(I'm sorry) Mike was scared for El - unrelated - and looked to Will for comfort - as he had every other time - when he tapped him on the shoulder, Will said he should tell her he loves her, and he reacts with

anguish.

This was not Mike's plan.

This was not their plan, so he thought.

Mike's reaction tells us everything about what he knew and what he meant for what's to come. This was not what he meant. That was not what he was going to say. This was not his plan.

And there's that part of you too that always wishes to go back to semi-ignorant bliss. Even if just panicked confusion. Because wasn't it nice: when telling her you loved her evoked this

And not this

Wasn't it nice when you knew...just a little less?

Wasn't it nice, in a way, when you couldn't see the happy ending so clearly?

Don't you sort of miss - when you couldn't taste it?

also fuck it for just for that list bit and the bridge of this song here's my illicit affairs edit linked because "you showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else"

[agencyboys]

i have so much to say about dead boy detectives, but what's hurting me the most (but also keeping me the most motivated!) is how obvious it is that it was made with love.

it wasn't just made to make money! it was made to tell a beautiful story of love (in all of its forms). it's the first live action show i've watched in a long time that actually feels like it was made for the sake of making ART and sharing a worthwhile message to its audience. i haven't loved a show this deeply in well over a decade, and as an artist, it's so disheartening to see art constantly be thrown away.

i'm so sick and tired of shows that are just meant to fill our already limited time with... nothing! shows that keep getting renewed today, wouldn't have made it past a single season or even the pilot 20 years ago! the industry has ruined our attention spans just so they can shill us mediocre and unfinished projects because who is actually watching, right? we need to show them that we are paying attention and that we have no intention of wasting our precious time on meaningless "content."

i know this has all been said before, but i'm still so angry over this. i'll continue to let my anger fuel the effort, though!

keep up the great work, everyone, but please remember to prioritize your health and well-being!

[imminent-danger-came]

“I felt the red-winged man gaze, I heard him speaking. I know who you are, he said, there are two ways this can go, no, three ways. I don’t want to count the ways, I said, I just want to finish it. I need to get to the end. His wings lifted and sanked. Oh my darling, he said, you’re a long way from the end.”

— Anne Carson, H of H Playbook

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Reminder that the Dazai's Entrance Exam audiobook comes out tomorrow! It's narrated by Patrick Seitz, Kunikida's English dub voice actor!

Here are all the places you can buy it:

Barnes & Noble

Audible

Google Play

Apple Books

Libro.fm

[hamdaegils]

seunghyun talking about leaving bigbang to protect them and the pain he feels when he sees them now.

[runningatypufullspeed]

BRIGHT ASS COLORS GIRL WATCH OUT

Been like almost 6 months since I’ve been roosting here on this lovely website and I STILL have no clue how to use it

[tumblingdownthefoxden]

I'm watching MyStreet for the first time and though I am vaguely familiar with it after seeing several memes

I just needed to know

How did this

Transition to that

[sainz100]

Daniel Ricciardo and Max Verstappen in Tokyo ahead of the 2016 Japanese GP | x

[radiocrypt-id]

Always a Sour Victory

so uh... how we doing gang? Just learned about forever myself. pretty devastating, I loved his vibe. I'll hope along with q!Bad here that he'll return one day.

[thyhauntedmansion]

“Why am I the only one who remembers?”

…

[gayofthefae]

The sad thing about the Mike and El parallels in season 4 is that it's because they're both having their hearts broken at the same time.

El's is being broken by Mike. Because Mike's is being broken by Will.

They're in this together, in a way - as friends. Both getting their hearts broken at the same time. It's a rite of passage, isn't it? That's what Fifteen by Taylor Swift is about, isn't it?

"Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday but I realized some bigger dreams of mine. And [Mike] gave everything [he] had to a boy who changed his mind. And we both cried. 'Cause when you're 15 and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them."

And there's something so soul crushingly beautiful in how platonically in sync they are by being so romantically out of sync. El and Mike are having their hearts broken at the same time. Like best friends. But El's boyfriend is having his heart broken by someone else. It should never have been in anyone else's hands to begin with.

He's breaking her heart by getting his heart broken.

So of course it culminates in the worst kind of solidarity within that.

In another universe, they would have cried together over the boys who broke their hearts, and I know that.

I wish they were friends in every universe.