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[monstersandmaw]

Male kelpie (dad-bod, single father, biker) x plus size f. reader - Part One (sfw)

Background info post on the Full Moon Motorcycles group here Oats Appreciation post here

Featuring a plus-size, bisexual, not very confident reader, and a divorced, Scottish, single-dad, biker kelpie with a soft-dad bod and a heart as big as his bike’s engine (possibly bigger).

CW: there is a very brief moment where a character (not Oats!) insults the reader for her size and uses some fat-phobic language towards and about her, unaware that she can hear him. If you’re sensitive to that, it is brief, but you can skip from “…you caught the conversation drifting over from the other guys who’d arrived just ahead of you.” to the paragraph beginning, “After some deep breaths and a check in the mirror…”. Also, if you squint, there’s a passing moment that could possibly be interpreted as the reader having some potential issues with food, but it’s not intended to be a big deal and it’s only for about two sentences. Still putting it in here too, just in case. 

Wordcount: 7562

You pushed open the glass door of Full Moon Motorcycles and willed yourself not to feel self-conscious or out of place.

Having both an older brother and a mother who rode motorbikes had at least given you a fair bit of familiarity with bikes and the general ‘biker culture’, but it was mostly the fact that almost all the ‘biker girls’ you saw posing on social media were slim and toned, which you were decidedly not.

From the utterly foetid takes in the comments section of the one post your brother had shared on his page with you in it, you’d also got the impression that the biker community was not particularly kind to any woman with a waist over 25 inches. It probably wasn’t the case, but your one experience with it had been enough to make you very wary.

And yet, as you made your way towards the bike shop’s counter and the older man with floppy, greying hair and warm brown eyes looked up, you were greeted with an open, welcoming smile.

“Hi there,” he said, standing up with a grunt from the comfy chair where he’d been sitting in the corner near the shop’s antique cash register. “What can I do for you?”

You smiled shyly and glanced along the wooden countertop before returning your gaze to him. “I’m looking for a present for my brother, but I’m kind of on a budget…”

“Gotcha. We’ve got some silly key fobs there,” he said, indicating a rotating display rack at one end of the counter, with mottoes that ranged from funny to explicit, “But if they like working on their bike themselves, you can’t go wrong with some maintenance supplies… Not the most glamorous but I promise they’ll be grateful to you all the same.”

“Could always tie a festive ribbon round it,” you said, and he chuckled and nodded.

“That’s the spirit.”

You eyed the reasonable price of the fobs with some relief, and then followed his gesture towards the various bottles of chain degreaser and the like, and a few other useful tools and kits that were stacked on shelves on the back wall to the right of a door that presumably led into the back and store rooms.

The right hand side of the shop had the counter and some shiny, new bikes that had been parked in a row around the perimeter of the space, and the left hand side was more open with a bench or two against the brick walls, and some red, mechanics’ tool-chests tucked against the back wall. A number of leather two- and one-piece suits hung in racks at the furthest end though, with helmets on shelves and a few rows of t-shirts, jeans, gloves, and boots displayed too. There were oil stains in the centre of the polished concrete floor, and you suspected that tinkering took place there outside of the shop’s usual opening hours.

The whole vibe of Full Moon Motorcycles was friendly and cosy, with a slightly industrial, grungy note for some flavour.

In short, you loved it.

“There are also some fun helmet covers –” the older man chuckled, and added, “A number of the regulars here have them, and there are also some earplugs, or perhaps a tough phone case and mount? A chain care kit? There are some vinyl stickers too, and t-shirts, socks, neck warmers, balaclavas, mugs, helmet care kits, thermals…”

Laughing, you held up your hands for him to stop, and he started to chuckle too.

“I’ll let you browse in peace, sweetheart,” he said, his whisky brown eyes twinkling. Even his un-looked-for endearment came across as kindly instead of creepy, and not many men could pull that off. “You just holler if you have questions and I’ll be happy to –”

The door opened behind you and he broke off as his attention was snagged by the arrival of a heavy-set guy in dark jeans and a softly-worn, black leather jacket. He held a black helmet with a tinted visor in his large hands, and he looked more than a little wind-blown and rumpled.

Incongruous with his rather roguish-dishevelment, a lock of his long, thick, slightly grizzled, black hair was held back by a little hair-clip with a Barbie-pink, fabric bow. It didn’t fit with the dark scruff of stubble on his jaw or the piercing green-blue eyes at all, but he seemed completely unfazed by its presence.

“Oats!” the older man exclaimed with obvious joy, clapping his hands. “It’s been a while, my boy! How was the trip to Scotland? You make it round the NC500 this time?”

The ‘boy’ looked to be in his mid to late thirties…

“Ach, no’ a chance this time, Hank,” the man chuckled with a heavy, Scottish accent lacing his rich, rough baritone. Exactly where in Scotland he was from, you couldn’t tell, but it was lyrical and attractive all the same.

“Ah, next time, next time. And is Natalie well?

“Oh aye, my wee Loch Ness Monster is doing just fine. She’ll be terrorising her mother for the Christmas holidays. I came straight from the road though — clutch started playing up just south of Birmingham.” He grimaced, but even that looked charming somehow. “Sort of hoped you might find a minute to take a look at it for me if I left the Old Girl here. No rush though.”

“No problem, Oats. We’ll get her running properly again in no time. Bet you’re missing little Natalie already,” Hank added sympathetically.

“Ah, you have no idea,” the man, peculiarly-named ‘Oats’, sighed ruefully, shaking his head.

“See she left you with a parting gift though,” Hank snorted, pointing at the bow hair clip.

With a slight frown to his dark eyebrows, Oats reached up and patted at his head until he found it, and then he laughed. It was a loud, delighted, full-bellied sound that reverberated through the space while it lasted, and he left the hair clip where it was with no trace of self-consciousness as he lowered his hand again. “Aye, that she did. Surprised it survived the journey down with my lid on and everything. Oh –” His unusually pale green eyes landed on you, watching him and lurking near the rows of t-shirts on the back wall, and he went still.

Those sea-grey eyes raked you up and down, clearly noting the way your black leggings clung to the curves of your thighs and hips, and the black hoodie, which maybe went some way to hiding the softness of your stomach a bit, and he swallowed visibly. He looked… hungry. That was not the usual reaction you had grown accustomed to from men, and you let the flare of heat lick up your insides for just a moment, daring to hope that maybe he did find you attractive.

“Sorry,” he said in your direction, with a soft, dusky smile. “Didnae mean t’interrupt.”

“It’s fine,” you managed to croak back at him before returning your attention, however reluctantly, to present options for your brother while the older man, Hank, hobbled out around the corner of the wooden counter to chat amicably with the man. You couldn’t hear what was said as the two chatted in lower voices, but it was evident that they were good friends. While they talked, however, you couldn’t help noticing that he stole occasional sidelong glances in your direction, and you felt your face warm pleasantly.

‘Oats’ was certainly an unusual nickname, but then again, almost everyone who rode with your brother also had their own nicknames for one reason or another. As you browsed, you wondered what Oats had done to earn that one. He certainly looked like a snack to you, but you vowed not to let your attraction to the stranger show. Awkward situations (or worse, silences) tended to arise when you let that happen.

He had a tanned, outdoorsy complexion, and longish, black hair that was tied back in a low ponytail that brushed below the collar of his black leather jacket. It looked like it had a tendency to flop into his face when not restrained by that out-of-place pink bow. He filled out the jacket very well, and clearly had a soft paunch, and his thighs looked frankly delectable in those thick, indigo jeans. You prayed you wouldn’t have to see him fully from the back if he turned around, to witness the way he filled out the seat of his jeans too.

Fuck. Concentrate.

Bike gifts for brother, not delicious-looking stranger you’re never going to see again.

“Well, I shouldnae hang about, I suppose.”

Oats’ voice cut through your musings in front of chain degreasers and you jumped a little. Glancing back over at him, you offered him a smile when he too turned to look at you one last time, and a slow, charming smile crept onto his handsome face.

“See you,” he said with a dip of his head. Before he strode from the shop though, he let his eyes roam once more down the length of you and he bit his lower lip, almost regretfully, then turned away abruptly.

Oh yes. He absolutely did fill out the ass of those jeans beautifully.

Quite honestly, you weren’t totally sure what you ended up getting your brother for his birthday. You took whatever it was to the counter in a daze, your mind replaying over and over the way he’d looked at you.

“Must say,” Hank said conspiratorially as he fished your change from the antique cash register and slid it across the polished, wooden counter towards you. “I’ve never seen Oats quite so taken with someone, miss.” He chuckled, his kind, whisky-brown eyes glinting. “You take care now.”

Swallowing, you nodded and left the shop, hoping perhaps to find Oats waiting for you outside on the street, leaning against his motorcycle, but life was not a movie, and wherever he was, he was not lingering in the hopes of seeing you. In fact, the street was completely deserted, so you crossed, clambered into your little hatchback, and drove home with the feeling that you’d let a pivotal moment in your life pass you by.

Your sour mood persisted like a raincloud for the whole week, but by the time you were driving over to your brother’s on Saturday for his birthday ride, you were trying to pull yourself out of it. You had your own helmet with you, secured in the back of the car, and beside it was (now wrapped) the present you’d got him. In fact, it was a chain care kit, and, although you hadn’t noticed at the time, Hank had thrown in a free keychain that said ‘In my defence, I was left unsupervised’ which was very on-brand for your brother. You had planned to go back and thank him for the freebie as soon as you could, but your brother’s birthday ride had been planned for that Saturday, and work had been hell that week, so you’d not had the chance.

Predictably, Alex wasn’t in the house when you rang the doorbell, so you followed the sound of metallic clinking and laughter, and went round the side to find him tinkering with his mad little Honda Grom in the garage, while his two best mates — Eggs and Sparky — were lounging around and either making unhelpful suggestions or lewd comments.

“Yo!” Sparky grinned when he saw you, sitting up straighter and almost falling off the mechanic’s tool chest he was leaning his weight against. At Sparky’s exclamation, your brother sat up and banged his head on the handlebars of the short little Grom with a curse.

“Hey,” you mumbled in Sparky’s general direction. “Happy birthday, Alex.”

Alex scrambled upright and came over to hug you, probably smearing grease and dirt all over your armoured jacket, but since it was black anyway, you didn’t mind too much. Alex was about as opposite to you as it was possible to get — straight up and down like a beanpole, and tall. You took after your mother, inheriting all her thick curves and soft edges. Soft heart too.

“Thought this might come in handy,” you mumbled when Alex released you and you held out the brown paper bag stamped with the logo of Full Moon Motorcycles.

His eyes lit up when he saw the logo, and he tore into it like a chipmunk after a peanut, grinning in delight when he’d dismembered it, and in particular he showed off the keychain to his mates. Eggs snatched it and tried to claim it for himself, but Alex was having none of it, and the three of them scrapped and goofed around while you sat down on an old, metal stool in the corner and waited for the other two of your small party to show up, with a cool, curdling kind of dread in the pit of your stomach when you heard one name in particular. Nooner.

Within an hour though, you were all out on the road.

You took the pillion seat behind Alex, and warded his mates off at red lights when they came for his killswitch to immobilise him. A while later though, Alex zoomed off down the open road that would take you all out of town and towards the somewhat famous biker cafe, ‘Elusive Neutral’, that sat nestled amongst the fragrant heather of the rolling hills surrounding the old market town.

The sky was a gorgeous, autumnal blue and the weather was perfect, neither too hot nor too cold, and as your brother’s Yamaha flew along the winding A-road that was every biker’s dream, you cracked a smile and gently tipped your head back. As much as it had scared you when you’d first ridden behind your mother all those years ago, you did love the feeling of being out on a bike. Not that you were actually brave enough to want to try and learn yourself though. Something always held you back, made you wary and unsure, and then you inevitably felt down about that too. God, you wished you had Alex’s wild confidence.

Nothing good ever seemed to last for you though, and when Alex’s R1 had purred into the car park behind Eggs and Sparky, and you’d hopped off to let him reverse more easily into a space, you caught the conversation drifting over from the other guys who’d arrived just ahead of you.

“…if he didn’t have his fat sister with him, we could have fucking ripped it up along those twisties.” That, of course, had come from Nooner, named for the fact that he rarely stuck to two wheels and always pulled wheelies, or ‘nones’, whenever he got the chance. Out of all of your brother’s friends, he was the one you liked the least, for… obvious reasons.

“Talk about killing the vibes, huh?” Eggs replied, trying to suck up to him, as ever. “More like ‘crushing’!”

The reason Eggs had earned his nickname was that he’d lost a bet and shaved his head when they’d all been about sixteen, and he’d looked like a boiled egg til it grew back. You wished you had the sass to remind him of that every time his spine seemed to crumble in favour of earning a half-hearted snicker out of Nooner.

When Alex joined you, he caught the crestfallen expression on your face and frowned, but you shook your head and walked away from them, heading for the cafe alone.

“Can’t wait to shove some cake in her fat gob already,” Nooner added as an aside to Eggs, and your vision blurred as tears welled along your lashes. Why did people have to be so cruel? To trample all over someone else just to feel a little taller themselves?

You vaguely heard what sounded like Sparky’s voice countering the comment, but you didn't stick around either way. If you mentioned it to your brother again, he’d just say it was banter with the guys and not to take it to heart. Easy for someone who's never been on the end of that kind of comment to shrug it off, after all.

You ducked straight for the toilets when you got inside the airy, modern cafe, not even bothering to look around or find a table first.

After some deep breaths and a check in the mirror to see that you hadn’t turned your eyeliner into a panda cosplay, you headed out again and made for the little bar that doubled as a counter for people who were there solo to sit and eat instead of taking up a whole table to themselves. None of your brother’s friends joined you, and when you glanced back over your shoulder, you saw that they’d settled themselves around a table in the far corner and already had a number for a server to bring their food order over. They hadn’t even waited for you.

“Fuck them,” you hissed through gritted teeth, taking a seat at the bar instead. The stools were made of old tractor seats, and they were surprisingly comfortable, and as you leaned your forearms on the countertop, the young woman behind the counter came over to you with a smile that made you feel a little better.

“Hey,” she said. “What can I get for you?”

You ordered a hot drink, and then took out your phone while you waited for her to make it for you.

For half an hour or so, you sat scrolling through social media and sipping your drink and telling yourself this was your brother’s day and not yours. He did come over a couple of times, but you declined to sit with his friends, and because he’d never had any real reason to doubt you before, he took you at your word when you told him you were happy enough where you were. “I don’t want to get in the way,” you said, and he believed you.

Patting you on the shoulder, he left you for the third time, and you looked down into the dregs of your drink with a heavy sigh. “This sucks.”

Outside, the sound of more bikes arriving made your ears perk up, and you wondered idly what they rode. Elusive Neutral had once been an old cattle barn, but it had been completely redone and the walls on two sides had been replaced with vast picture windows that showed the sweeping expanse of moorland beyond, and a small sliver of the car park at one end. Craning your neck, you saw a group of maybe five or six bikers draw up, some on hipster looking cafe racers and others on racy sports bikes. There was even a Ducati Panigale among them, and behind them followed an old, battered, blue pickup truck.

The door opened a little while later, and you glanced over, eyes drawn instinctively by the movement.

Above the general chatter and merry chinking of china in the room, the energy of the new group of bikers rose like a cloud of dizzy mayflies; buzzing and excited and full of joy. You watched them all with interest from your perch at the counter.

The first through the door was an absolute Amazon of a woman, with her long black hair restrained in a thick braid, and shoulders the width of a barn door. She was lean and tall, and in her biker gear she looked… incredible. Her face was strikingly handsome, but until she glanced down at the woman walking beside her, her features were hard and glowering and unspeakably stern. She held the door open for one of the others to follow her inside, but when she locked eyes again with the brunette by her side, her whole expression melted into unguarded adoration. Your gut twisted briefly with jealousy.

It wouldn’t matter to you who looked at you like that, if only someone would.

You looked away, and by the time you glanced back at the bikers, the whole group had filed in from outside. There was a guy with golden-brown skin and beautiful dark brown eyes who had his arm wrapped possessively around the waist of a pale, skinny guy in black jeans and a moth-eaten, black jumper, with his long hair tied back in a bun, and behind them came a strikingly attractive guy in a manual wheelchair, flanked by a very short biker with slightly anaemic looking skin. You wondered fleetingly if the guy in the wheelchair had ridden a motorbike there, and if so how, before you realised he was probably the most beautiful person you’d ever seen, with long, flowing red hair and dark green eyes, and the kind of mouth that was made for laughing, and for kissing.

Jesus, was it an unwritten rule of being a biker that you had to be unfairly attractive? Even Hank, who you recognised with a start of surprise coming in behind the guy with red hair, wasn’t unattractive, in a bulky, older man kind of way.

The guy walking with him though… he truly made your stomach swoop.

It was Oats.

You looked away before he could spot you, sitting alone at the bar like some pathetic creature waiting for cocktail hour to begin. It was lunchtime on a sunny, autumnal Saturday though, and there you were sitting alone because you didn’t fancy sitting with your brother’s loser mates.

God, the way Oats had looked in his tough-looking leather jacket, with his eyes crinkled mid-laugh at something the guy in the wheelchair had shot back at them over his shoulder… You bit your lip and stared into the bottom of your cold, empty mug like it would divine some kind of solution to your situation for you.

The new group didn’t seem to notice you while they filed up to the counter, jostling and joking, and when they drifted off to another corner of the cafe, you turned back to your phone, trying desperately to resist the almost overwhelming urge to keep turning over your shoulder to watch them.

Before too long however, you startled at a soft tap on your shoulder, and you looked around to find Oats himself stepping back to a polite distance and smiling down at you like he’d found a treasure in an unexpected place.

“Hey there,” he said in that rolling, Scottish accent that did unspeakably indecent things to your insides. “Sorry if I’m intruding, but you were at Full Moon last week, right?”

Mute for a moment, you nodded, and mustered up a slightly dazed smile for him.

“You… here alone?” he asked, eyeing the currently-empty seats to your left and right. In fact, someone had only just gathered up their belongings and left.

“Kind of?” you croaked, letting your eyes slide over to the table where your brother and his friends were hunched over one of their phones, snickering at something. “It’s… It’s my brother’s birthday today. I… tagged along as pillion, but… you know… I’m kind of a spare part really.”

At that, Oats’ dark eyebrows knitted into a scowl and he looked across the room at them before returning his attention to you. Then, his unearthly, almost prismatic, silver-green eyes took in your empty cup and he grinned. “Can I get y’a top up?”

Your instinct was to refuse, but you bit your lip. This didn’t feel real. A cute, handsome, courteous guy was actually taking an interest in you.

“Sure. Thank you.” And the smile that spread itself across your face telegraphed your delight in a way that was impossible to disguise with any kind of suave grace.

Oats, however, seemed equally delighted, and nodded. The barista came back over and he leaned his weight on the counter to talk to her. He seemed to have that enviably easy manner with everybody, and he even charmed a free slice of cake out of her too with what felt like no effort at all.

“Chocolate? Or something else?” he asked you.

“Pardon?”

“Cake.”

“Oh, no, that’s fine,” you said, but he frowned.

“You sure? I’m gonna have a bit of their chocolate cake. It’s so good, it’s practically a sin.”

“I…” you faltered.

He didn’t pressure you though and shrugged easily, turning back to the barista. “Gimme two forks with that, love. Just in case.”

“No problem,” she beamed back while she bustled about, and Oats eyed the empty bar stool next to yours.

“May I?”

You swallowed your nerves and nodded. “Please.” And then, because apparently a demon of confidence had temporarily possessed you, you eyed his slightly helmet-flattened forelock and said, “No pink hair clips today?”

He guffawed loudly enough that your brother actually glanced over and frowned when he saw you talking with a stranger.

Oats snorted and shook his head. “No, not today. My daughter is still up in Scotland with her mother.” He fixed you with a more serious look and said, “She and I divorced, before you get the wrong idea about me flirting like this with a beautiful woman.”

The compliment caught you so off-guard that you just froze for a moment, but when the heat of a blush filled your face, you looked away and he chuckled.

“I’m not normally so forward, but I’ve been kicking myself for not talking to you when I first saw you in Full Moon. Hank was telling me just this morning what a muppet I’d made of myself for walking away like that.”

You looked behind you at the group of his friends and then turned back to him. “Won’t they think you’re being rude, ignoring them like this?”

He shook his head and smiled. “They’re probably all taking bets on how quickly you’ll shoot me down.”

“What? I’d have to be an idiot to do that.”

At that, his face split into a huge, handsome grin and he shook his head just a little. “Lucky me,” he said. “You ride?” he added, eyeing your jacket that was obviously a motorcycle jacket.

You shrugged. “Pillion. I’ve never ridden myself, but my brother lets me come out with him sometimes.”

Oats nodded, and then, as the barista set down his coffee, your top-up, and the plate of decadent chocolate cake with two forks, he said, “I’m Euan, by the way, but everyone calls me Oats.”

You introduced yourself, and then said, “Oats?”

He snorted and nodded. “Not the worst nickname, for sure.”

“Can I ask where it came from?”

Oats nodded and shunted the plate towards you first before leaning his elbow on the bar and watching you while he spoke. “I think it’s because I’m a dad, but I’m always prepared for most situations, and when it comes to my Natalie, she’s always hungry. I’ve usually got about a thousand granola bars stashed away about my person —” he said, cutting himself off to pat conspicuously at his jacket pockets. Pulling a slightly dog-eared crunchy bar from his breast pocket, he wielded it like a magic wand at you and said, “Case in point.”

“Hence, Oats,” you said, eyeing the healthy brand name on the packet.

“Exactly. Like I said, it could be worse. See the tall lass over there with the dangerous scowl?”

You didn't need to turn around to know which of his friends he was talking about, but you did anyway. “Yeah.”

“We call her Pixie.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“Probably not,” he chuckled, stowing the granola bar back into his pocket and taking a huge scoop of the chocolate cake with his own fork.

“What do you ride then?” you asked.

“Triumph Bonneville T120,” he said with almost exactly the same intonation and fondness as he’d just said ‘because I’m a dad’, and you couldn’t help smiling. “Can’t be doing with all these glitzy sports bikes and the like,” he added with a laugh, setting his fork down and blinking slowly. His lashes, you noticed, were thick and dark and enticingly long.

Laughing, you smiled. “Don’t say that too loudly — my brother rides an R1.”

“Nice,” Oats grinned back. “But nothing could entice me away from my girl.”

“I’m surprised you’re here, flirting with me then,” you said. Evidently that confidence demon was still lurking.

Again, Oats laughed, though it was more of a low whicker this time, and it rolled right through you and lit you up all over. God, how long had it been since someone had laughed like that for you?

“There are… exceptions,” he said in a rumbling murmur. “Tell me about yourself?” he asked, and you did.

You spent the next hour at least talking in an easy back and forth with him while he charmed a few more refills from the barista and a lot of answers out of you, before one of his friends sidled up shyly and waited for a lull in your conversation.

“Sorry to butt in,” the small, unbelievably beautiful woman said. She was the one who’d been on the receiving end of the adoring look from the Amazon, ‘Pixie’. She had chocolate-brown hair falling in thick ringlets around a gorgeous face, and, you were pleased to note, she had wide hips and a softness to her that a lot of the biker chicks you’d seen online didn’t have.

“Coco,” Oats beamed. “Meet my new friend.” He introduced you by name, and Coco smiled at you, holding out her hand.

When your palms connected, you felt a warmth rush through you and you felt like your heart skipped a beat. The feeling like you could tip forwards and drown in her endless, dark brown eyes almost unseated you, but she let go of you and stepped back with a pretty smile on her Cupid’s-bow lips. “Pleasure to meet you. Just wanted to tell Oats that we’re thinking of heading off soon. Ariel has a photoshoot he wants to get to in an hour or so, and Demon’s keen to get going as well.”

Oats nodded, and you tried not to let your stomach drop down to your boots at the thought of all this coming to such an abrupt end.

Coco turned her head sharply to look at you just as the feeling hit, and she smiled faintly. “You could always stay here though, Oats,” she added with a pretty smile. “We’re only going back to Full Moon, and Demon clearly has no intention of lingering there…” She shot a meaningful glance back at their table. Demon, the guy with dark hair and tanned skin, was seated with the guy he’d entered with now draped in his lap, his skinny legs dangling as he sprawled languidly back against the guy’s muscular chest. Demon whispered something into his ear before he clearly bit the shell of his boyfriend’s ear, which made him sit abruptly upright and flush a vibrant pink.

Oats laughed again and shook his head. “Fuck me,” he chuckled privately. “Never thought I’d see the day. You guys go on. I’m… I’m very much content here.”

“I can see that,” Coco smirked, and walked away.

When she was out of earshot, you turned to Oats with a hot flush of your own in your face and said, “Don’t stay if you don’t want to… I’m sure my brother will be leaving soon anyway…”

Just as you said that, and before Oats could reply, Alex reappeared at your side and jutted his chin in Oats’ direction. “You good?” he chirped at you.

“Fine,” you replied. “This is Oats. I met him at Full Moon Motorcycles when I was buying your birthday present.”

“Oh,” Alex replied, holding out his hand for Oats to shake. “Good to meet you, man. You tell her what to get for me? If you did, it was a good choice.”

“No,” Oats said carefully, his grey-green eyes sliding back to your face even while he shook your brother’s hand amicably. “No, whatever she got you, it was all her.”

“Oh, cool,” Alex said. “Listen, sis, we’re gonna hit the road in a while. Nooner and Eggs want to hit the twisties for a bit, but I can’t really do that with a backpack, so Sparky said he’d give you a ride home, if that’s ok.”

You swallowed. “Um…”

“I can give her a lift,” Oats replied after a swift glance in your direction. “She’s already got her own lid, and there’s room on the Bobber’s double seat for both of us.”

“I don’t know, man,” Alex said with a wary frown.

“Your choice,” Oats shrugged easily, looking at you and holding his hands up just a little.

For a fleeting moment, you weren’t sure, but the idea of wrapping your arms around Oats’ thick middle and sitting astride his gorgeous bike kind of decided it for you. Besides, it was a long time since you’d done anything truly just for yourself; simply because you wanted to. You nodded at your brother. “It’s fine. You go ahead.”

“You sure?”

Nodding to reassure him, you smiled again and Alex backed up a pace. “Cool. Text me later, ok?” he said as he retreated towards his friends, clearly trying to hide his excitement at not having a passenger for the great, twisting section of A-road they were heading for.

“Will do. Have fun, and don’t crash!” you called after him. “Or get a speeding ticket!”

He waved a hand over one shoulder without looking back, and you laughed and returned your attention to Oats. “Brothers.”

“Bikers,” he replied. “You try telling that to any of that lot though —” he gestured towards his own group of friends who were now filtering out of the door. “You ready to head out too or do you want to stay?”

You did want to stay, but the seat wasn’t that comfortable anymore, and you wanted to move around a bit. “No, I’m good to go,” you said and prepared to slide off the stool, but Oats stepped down first and held out his hand to you. You didn't need helping down, and his playful little smirk told you he knew as much, so you rode out the last of that demonic possession and let your fingers slide across his palm and he steadied you off the stool.

“Thank you,” you smiled.

“Pleasure.”

You picked up your helmet from where you’d stowed it on the floor at your feet and straightened to find him waving casually across the room to the good-looking guy with the ethereally pretty boyfriend. Before he stepped away from you and made towards the door though, you cleared your throat and said, “Oats?”

“Mn?” Looking down at you, his entire attention honed in on you, like you were the centre of the universe, and you swallowed back a sudden welling of emotion.

“Listen… Thank you… for… coming over to me today. Like I said, it’s my brother’s birthday, and he was here with his friends, and he only included me so I didn’t feel completely left out, but…” Accursed tears washed over your eyes for a moment but you blinked them away furiously and ploughed on regardless. “I’m really glad I came along today anyway,” you finished rather pathetically.

His full, beautiful lips curled into a gentle smile and he blinked softly and exhaled. When he spoke, his voice was low and his words private, as though you weren’t standing in a busy cafe surrounded by people and the cheerful clatter of coffee cups and laughter. “I’m really glad I did too. I wasn’t going to, you know? I was going to stay at home and edit a boatload of raw photographs for a client, but Demon convinced me to come out. I guess I owe him.”

“‘Demon’? For… For the speed?” you asked, wondering how he came by his nickname.

“For the horns,” Oats replied in deadpan humour. “Have a look if he’s still there when we go outside. You ready?”

You followed him out of the cafe with a nod, and just as you took a deep, indulgent breath of fresh, heathland air, Oats’ group of friends filed out past you on their bikes. The one named Demon was in the lead, and the nickname made immediate sense. Sitting astride a blood-red Panigale, with his boyfriend clinging on behind him like a limpet, the guy had pale, curving horns fixed to the crown of his helmet.

“Yeah, that tracks,” you said, and Oats waggled his dark eyebrows.

The Amazon had a Yamaha R1 like your brother’s, but hers had a pearl-white wrap that made it look almost spectral, and riding out in front of her was Coco on a yellow and black Honda Hornet.

The telltale red plait told you that the guy in the wheelchair was on a modified Kawasaki, with unusual struts at the back that looked like they would come down when he stopped to stabilise him instead of having to take his legs off the foot pegs, where they were currently Velcro-ed in place. Watching the whole group file out was Hank, standing beside a battered old pickup. In the bed of the truck, you could just see that the red-headed biker’s wheelchair secured in place.

Hank waved the last of them off, then glanced over at Oats. The older man lifted his nose just a little, as if he too was enjoying the fresh, moorland wind that whipped across the car park, and he nodded once at Oats, and then at you to your surprise, before clambering stiffly up into his pickup and closing the door. It shut with a raucous yelp of rusty hinges.

You stood there and watched Oats’ friends all file out, all waving at Oats as they passed, before they set off down the road in a roar of revving engines to leave a lonely looking Bonneville waiting patiently near the stone wall of the car park nearby.

“Yours, I presume?” you said, nodding at it.

“Yup.”

“She’s a beauty,” you mumbled, self-consciousness prickling at the sides of your neck for the silly comment.

Oats beamed though, his sea-foam eyes lighting up as the crinkles around his eyes and the slight dimples in his cheeks creased under the force of his obvious pleasure. “Thank you. She’s my pride and joy. You ready? Oh, wait, you should put your address into my phone before we get going,” he laughed.

You nodded, taking the offered phone from him. Your fingers brushed against his warm skin as you took it, and a tiny thrill passed through you that you did your best to quash. With your address plugged in and a route home waiting to be followed, you handed it back to him and looked up into his handsome, rugged face as he smiled.

“Cheers. Let’s go,” he said, and you trailed along beside him over to his bike, heartbeat thudding in your ears with your nerves.

He swung a leg over and turned the key, then pushed the bike upright and nudged the side-stand in with his left foot before flicking the switch and bringing the bike to life. She growled beautifully, the low, thundering rumble of her engine sounding far more visceral and primal than your brother’s sports bike did. Perhaps it was the design of the lower-slung Bonneville, with its visible parts that made you think of a Steampunk aesthetic, but you instantly preferred it. Plus, the double seat looked way more cushioned — and less precarious — than the one you’d perched on to get to the cafe that morning.

Oats got himself comfy while you slid your helmet on, then he looked over his shoulder at you and nodded, so you took that as your cue and got settled on the pillion seat behind him. The footpegs were already down. The pulsing purr of the machine beneath you was almost enough to distract you from the fact that you were entrusting your life to a relative stranger, whom you’d never seen ride before, and as you climbed on and rested your hands politely on his shoulders, you felt a shiver travel through your whole nervous system.

“Do whatever’s comfortable for you, obviously,” Oats said over the noise of his bike, “But if you want to hold my waist — if you can actually get your arms around my middle, that is,” he chuckled self-effacingly, “— feel free. Totally up to you.”

“Thanks,” you yelled back, and, because apparently that pesky demon of confidence was still kicking around, you hugged his torso.

It was wonderful.

Slowly snaking your arms around his middle, you felt your chest press against his back and you caught the way he inhaled slowly and tried not to wonder what it meant. It felt so good to hold him that you had to remind yourself it wasn’t a hug. It was to keep you in place while a gorgeous stranger drove you home on his equally gorgeous bike. With a final thumbs-up to check you were happy, to which you replied with a nod of your head and tried not to clack your helmet against his, he pulled away and your heart leapt for the sheer joy of it.

Where the R1 was built for sleek speed and bursts of power, the Bonneville was build to be enjoyed, and oh gosh, did you enjoy every curve.

And not just the curves in the road, either.

Oats was soft, but he was solid, and the urge to rest one hand on his thick thigh was almost overwhelming, until he took the corners at just the right pace to be exhilarating without you having to worry about your safety, and you clung on instead and laughed behind the safety of your visor.

It was all over way too soon, and as the Bonneville chugged into your road like a steam train and halted outside your poky, terraced house with its quaint little kitchen garden out the front in the postage-stamp of space between the pavement and the house, your heart squeezed painfully in your chest. Please don’t let this be it, you thought desperately.

You went through the motions of getting carefully off the bike without staggering or falling, and again, Oats held out his hand to help steady you. You gripped his fingers gratefully and when you gave an extra little squeeze to his hand at the end, you could have sworn he answered with one of his own and a throaty chuckle.

He dismounted too, which surprised you, and you wondered if you were going to have to ask him inside. As much as you wanted that in principle, you desperately didn’t want it to happen today because the house was a mess: laundry was still hanging up all over the place, and you’d cooked a curry the previous night and it was definitely still lingering in the air.

Oats took off his helmet but left his bike idling, which went a little way to reassuring you, and when you looked more closely at his expression, you thought you saw a hint of something familiar lingering in the corners of his eyes. Was he nervous?

Swallowing thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing behind the thick, 5 o’clock shadow that looked like it lingered pretty constantly no matter the time of day, Oats took a deep breath, held it, and then smiled at you. “Fuck,” he exhaled, and laughed. “I’m… very rusty at all this.” He held his helmet in both hands before him, toying with the strap.

“If I gave you my number, would you maybe like to meet up again?” you asked, taking pity on the man.

“Very much,” he said softly. “Like I said, Natalie is with her mum for the holidays, and apart from a wedding I’m covering next week, this is a pretty slow time of year for me. I’m free… mostly whenever.”

The reminder that he had a daughter with someone else did make you wonder what you were letting yourself in for. Children weren’t really something you had any expense of, since neither you nor your brother had shown any parental inclinations yet, and you weren’t particularly close to your cousins who had small kids.

“Ok, let me give you my number and we can figure something out.”

That done, he slid his phone back into his pocket and zipped it up, biting gently at his lower lip for a moment. “I know it’s bold,” he said, “But may I kiss you?”

Your heart skipped and soared. Breathless, you looked up at him and whispered, “Yes.”

His tiny, gentle, lopsided smile heralded the kiss’ approach, and he took your jaw delicately in one, leather-gloved hand as he leaned down and brushed his lips against yours. They were soft but insistent against yours, and you answered with a little moan as your eyes fluttered shut.

He groaned, pulling you closer with a low growl so that you were pressed flush against him for a moment before he stepped back and exhaled roughly. “Fuck,” he breathed. “Thank you. I’ll… I’ll see you soon?”

You nodded, feeling like you were floating inches above the ground.

You watched him re-mount his bike and adjust himself a little once he was settled, then he revved it playfully for you, and rode away after a final look back at you. He flipped his visor down as he pulled away, and you watched the bike and its rider disappear down the road.

‘Soon’ couldn’t come soon enough… 

__

I really hope you enjoyed this. If you did, please consider showing your support by reblogging. It really is the best (and totally free!) way to help the artists and writers whose work you enjoy.

Masterlist | Ko-fi (tip jar) | Patreon

[incorrectbatfam]

Due to various circumstances, one of the batfam has to substitute for Bruce at the next Wayne Enterprises Board of Executives meeting. How do each of them do at that job?

Dick: I officially declare today Casual Friday.

Dick: *rips off pants to reveal Hawaiian shorts underneath*

Secretary: It's Tuesday.

———————

Jason: Here's a thought exercise for everyone. Say you're chasing a high-profile criminal like, I dunno, Black Mask, and you have one hour to locate his hideout in the warehouse district. With only a notepad and your knowledge of advanced ballistics, how many goons do you think he'll have posted around the perimeter?

Accountant: *raises hand*

Jason: Yeah?

Accountant: Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Jason: Irrelevant.

———————

Tim: To illustrate my proposed budget cut, let's use the analogy of assassins ripping out your spleen. To chip away at the layers of the body would be inefficient and take up more resources than necessary, whereas if we identify a streamlined path beforehand, we can make a quick slice and leave the rest of our time to focus on necessary repairs.

New employee, whispering: What's he talking about?

Veteran employee, whispering back: He's Red Robin. We just pretend we don't know.

———————

Stephanie: You, over there. How much do you get paid?

Intern: I don't.

Stephanie: Unacceptable. Follow me, we're taking a business trip to the ATM.

———————

Damian: From now on, Wayne Enterprises is a pet-friendly office.

Sales rep: Even my horse?

Damian: Especially your horse.

———————

Cassandra: *blinks*

Financial advisor: Huh?

Cassandra: *blinks*

Financial advisor: Of course, I should've thought of that.

Cassandra: *blinks*

Financial advisor: Yes, ma'am, I'll get right on it.

———————

Duke: So... what are you working on?

Web developer: *spouts off a bunch of design jargon*

Duke: Cool, cool. What about a comments section?

Web developer: Not gonna lie dude, I completely forgot about that.

Duke: That's okay. You look like you could use a break. Wanna get smoothies?

———————

Barbara: Why isn't the PowerPoint working?

IT person: The clicker needs batteries.

Barbara: And why doesn't it have any?

IT person: We ran out of double-As.

Barbara: A multi-billion dollar company and we run out of double-A batteries?

———————

Selina: *delivering a presentation*

Bruce: *walks in*

Bruce: Honey, I brought you lunch.

Executive: You told us you were out of town.

Bruce: I was. You think I can find burritos this good in Gotham?

———————

Kate: Alright ladies, I need to see those reports on my desk by the end of the day.

Researcher: Why?

Kate: …I've never had anyone ask that.

———————

Senior manager: Can we start already? I have places to be.

Alfred: Not until this conference room is spotless.

[anipgarden]

How to Increase Biodiversity on a Budget - Masterpost

It cannot be stressed enough that supporting native wildlife is important, wherever you are and however you can. But it can feel a bit daunting to think about doing, especially if you’re operating on a smaller budget. It’s not uncommon to hear about someone’s success story and think how much did it cost to do that?

I’m hoping that I can provide a good bunch of ideas on how to help heal the world around you without hurting your wallet. Feel free to use this as a guide, or a bouncing-off point to do actions in your own style!

Before we get Started

I want to make it clear that this is not a checklist of things you are required to do in order to be ‘helping.’ This isn’t an ‘all or nothing’ kind of deal. Every little bit you do helps. Being aware of these options and spreading awareness helps. Doing even just a handful of these options as you’re able to helps.

With that being said, we need to acknowledge that not everything in this list is feasible for everyone. Some people have a fenced yard in the suburbs. Some people have an unfenced yard with judgy neighbors and/or a restrictive HOA policy. Some people can’t directly control their own landscaping, whether that be because of an external lawn maintenance ruling or something like ‘living with your parents.’ Some people have a 4th story apartment with a small balcony. Some people rent and can’t grow directly into the ground. If the best you can do is put up a bird feeder, or grow a few pollinator-friendly plants in pots? I see you. I feel you. I’ve been there. I appreciate what you’re doing, and you know what? So does the wildlife.

Un-actions, or Restriction of Activities

Things to Do that Aren’t Related to Growing Plants

The Plants-Related Section

Adding To, or Starting, A Garden

Cheaply Starting

Supporting Your Plants for Cheap: Composting, Mulching, and Trellises

What Plants to Add

What to Do Once Things Are Planted

The Secret Other Thing - Managing Invasive Plants and Animals

Parting Words and Sources

If you’re interested in joining a group of gardening enthusiasts who are always down to talk about biodiversity, project ideas, and native plants, feel free to hop into my gardening discord! 

[shygirl4991]

Mistletoe Wars

Im keeping my word everyone!

Summary: SMG4 and 3 are fighting to see who is throwing the best Christmas party, but when someone brings a surprise mistletoe to the fight both men will end up having an unexpected heart to heart.

Tags: Fluff, love confession, comedy, mistletoe kiss

 SMG4 stands proud in the main lobby of his castle looking at his set up for this year's Christmas party, he made sure the castle had everything. A daycare for Mario to prevent the plumber from going crazy and more then likely setting the party on fire. A game section for his gaming friends, though SMG4 was only able to get his hand on one game only. The table had plenty of food and not to mention he got a Santa Claus area for his friends to make their Christmas wish.  Nothing can ruin this day after all he throws these parties every year and they always manage to save the day when things take a turn. 

He then runs outside excited to check on his high budget premium christmas light only to notice it wasn't working, in a panic he runs to check the outlet to trip over a cord.  Following the cord he tripped on he notices SMG3 on top of his cafe plugging his own high budget premium christmas light. He gets up running to the man upset “Oi! Turn that off! You're hogging all the electricity!” he paused “nice high budget lights tho,” he had to admit his rival had good taste in lights. SMG3 smiles flattered that his friendly rival noticed his taste “Thanks! And uhh NO!” just because they are on good terms meant he would let his idiot neighbor tell him what to do.  He smirks “I need the extra power for my lights for my upcoming christmas party!” This year he was going to out party SMG4. Two years he has been invited to SMG4 parties and finally understood why everyone loved Christmas so much. Now he was going to prove to the crew he can be just as cool as SMG4. 

SMG3 eyes go wide in shock “WHAT BUT I'M HOLDING A PARTY!” there was no way he was going to let SMG3 take the spotlight of the first ever Christmas on the showgrounds. “Come on SMG3 it's the first party on the showgrounds and it's super important to me,” before he can finish his sentence SMG3 rolls his eyes “Dont care and i'm pretty sure i didn't ask.” “Well it won't matter because my party will be cooler than yours!” He couldn't stand this man. Sure they may friends but that doesnt mean he wont start a war with his partner to show who truly is the best.  The two get to work decorating their place and making sweet treats to lure their friends over to their location. SMG4 looks at his watch and panics seeing it's almost time for the party, he dashes out of his castle and heads to Mario's place where everyone was waiting. 

Anxiety was eating at him, as he ran into Mario’s house, if his friends pick SMG3 party what would it mean? Could he lose his friends to his rival? He kicks down the door “guys you're still coming to my christmas party right? Please don't abandon me!” he didn't mean to say the last part but his anxiety was overwhelming him at the moment. His friends stare at him with concern while Mario is excited to see him “SMG4 we are playing go fish!” they indeed were not playing go fish he was pretty sure they were playing monopoly. Tari smiles at him “oh SMG4 we were just planning to head on over to your party!” Relief washed over him knowing that his friends would never abandon him for someone else, Meggy agreed with Tari letting him know that there was no way she would miss his parties. Truly he has amazing friends “Aw thanks you guys, now let's go party!” Suddenly an ad plays catching everyone's attention. It was SMG3 showing off his party and all the events he had going on, he even managed to find Santa and held him hostage at the cafe. 

Suddenly he lost his friends' attention as they all ran to go to SMG3 party for a ball pit, in a panic he dashed after them “Wait guys my party has two ball pits!” Being ignored he knew he had no other choice than to lay guilt on them thick, he looks down and acts like he is about to cry “Guys..are you really going to skip out on my party, after everything we have been through?” The plan worked as he saw each friend look down guilty before agreeing to go to his party, he gave them a soft smile as they walked into the castle. Then he turns and smirks at SMG3 before walking into the house, seeing that SMG3 knew he had to pull out the big guns. 

The pair begin their war attacking each other, forcing the crew to go back and forth, from avoiding bees to lame memes the crew was getting drained from the fight. Meggy groans at them yet again being chased out of SMG4 castle “This is getting ridiculous, there has to be a way to stop this!” The crew agrees as they wait for the next attack.  That's when a gift fell from the sky landing in front of them, looking up they saw Santa had escaped his imprisonment and dropped a box for them. Opening it they found a  mistletoe, Tari took it out of the box confused “How can this help?” Mario smirks, taking it from Tari “Mario has the perfect plan for this!” 

The crew run into SMG3 party acting like they are so relieved to be away from SMG4 “Oh thank god the fun party!” Meggy shouts to catch Three's attention.  He smiles and hands a gingerbread man to her “Hell yeah you are, now would you like a treat they are fresh!” While Three was distracted Mario put up the mistletoe and chuckled as he walked up to SMG3.  Just in time SMG4 charges in ready for his next attack, seeing his rival Three stomps over to him. Meggy and Mario both nod “You know what would prove who is better?” Both men turned looking at Meggy who was pointing upward. Confused, both men looked up, SMG4 eyes went wide seeing the mistletoe above them. SMG3 stared in shock feeling his face slowly heat up turning his cheeks pink. “Mario thinks whoever does it first has best party!” Both men looked down at each other awkwardly, they wanted to win but were they willing to go so far. SMG4 then came up with an idea “Why don't we just ask youtube? I will do a poll and the winner has to do it, if they don't the other wins.”

SMG3 didn't want to have to kiss the man in front of him but he had no choice; he needed to prove he can have fun parties too. Four set up the poll and watched the votes go in, slowly he became horrified. They were voting for him to be the coolest, meaning he had to kiss SMG3 or he would lose the war. “Well scrub? I'm sure you want to quit and that's fine, your friends and I will have fun over here!” He turns to face Three “I wont lose!” surprise SMG3 squeaks as Four grabs his arms and pulls him into a kiss. The crew gasped in surprise that he actually did it, while Mario took photos. SMG4 pulled away smirking “I win!” Three face was bright red at the sudden kiss unsure how to process all the emotions going through him. Then in a flash Santa comes back to nuke the place as payback for his kidnapping, SMG4 falls to his knees seeing everything on fire. While SMG3 finally snaps out of his trance to join SMG4 on the floor crying over everything burning. Meggy walks up to them patting their backs “Guys Christmas isn't about who has the best party, it's about spending it with loved ones like us your friends!” Tari jumps in with a drawing of them all with the words friends written on top. SMG4 smiles at his friends trying to cheer them up, only SMG3 seemed to be lost in thought. 

He gently taps SMG3 to get his attention, while it worked it made him worried about what the man could be thinking about. SMG3 gets flustered seeing the drawing “FRIENDS?! I mean uh I'd rather die than be friends with you guys!” Four giggles at the man’s act. Now that the pair weren't crying the crew had no idea what to do next, both hang outs are on fire and Mario’s place isn't big enough to have a party. That's when Bob chimes in to go to his place, with everyone in agreement they head off to Bob's home.

Everyone was there holding hands around a christmas tree, except for two meme guardians. SMG3 grabs SMG4 and drags him away form the group “Alright, what the hell was that gay shit earlier?” Four let out a sheepish smile “Uh i wanted to win?” he wanted to smack himself for such a stupid line. SMG3 glares at him before Four lets out a sigh, sure he wanted to win the battle but something else wanted to do it because it was SMG3. Things between them have changed so much, even his yelling and eye rolls had more affection to them then two years ago when they started to become friends. 

SMG4 looks up at the sky “SMG3, you notice that things feel different with us? It could just be me but in my desperation to beat your party, kissing you has made me see something.” SMG3 was getting ready to fight whatever burn Four was cooking but it never came. Instead he felt his breath get taken when SMG4 turned, giving him such a loving smile he didn't know what to do. “Remember our first kiss? I didn't trust you, still saw you as evil and hated that kiss, but this one…I wish it lasted more.” SMG3 blushes freaking out “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! Do you know how gay this sounds!?” 

SMG4 nods feeling himself starting to blush, seeing that Four was being honest with his feelings he decided to try something. “You're an idiot, if you think this will get you anywhere it wont. I mean that kiss was awful. I'm a way better kisser!” Hearing this SMG4 smirks “Oh, well then if you're so good at kissing prove it~”

Three gave the bait and the other man took it. Knowing clearly how the other man felt made his heart flutter, it was now or never as he grabbed SMG4 hand. Blushing he leans forward pressing his lips against Fours. This kiss felt different from earlier, there was more emotion in it. SMG4 intertwined his fingers with SMG3 then with his free hand pulled him closer. They don't know how long they spent kissing under the stars on christmas night, SMG3 didn't care at the moment. Because for the first time in his life he is feeling true happiness, as they slowly pull apart Three shyly looks away not letting go of Four’s hand “See i'm way better.”

SMG4 giggles trying to hide his blush “I don't know about that, maybe we have to try again sometime…maybe over coffee?” SMG3 rolled his eyes at Four attempting to be sneaky about asking him out “The shop is closed on Tuesday around 1pm, maybe if you show up i can show you my skills again.” SMG4 squeezes Three hand and gives him a bright smile “Then it's a date!” 

[the-crittercorner]

🎃Agere Halloween Finds At Walmart Budget Friendly Addition 🎃

Sfw interactions only plz

First up are plushies the tiny guys come with a cute Halloween mug. they also had these mini round plushies in the first two pics in two different sizes!

Next up are activities and books/coloring books they had way more in other sections but this Is what I was able to get photos of it was very busy ;-; I regret not buying that fossil dino puzzle! >:[

Here's what I got! The window clings were also very cheap and they had lots of different designs too! The bat baby blanket was found in the baby section they have a pink ghost one too , but my store was sold out :( But my store is always busy so that's probably why!

[niuniente]

Hey Niu~ Do you have any smaller wonders you'd recommend visiting in Japan

Sure!

OSAKA

If you go to Osaka around the end of a month, there's a monthly temple flea market in the Shitennoji temple yard. It's arranged on 21st and 22nd of each month, and regular people are selling there their old stuff, as well as booths selling vintage kimonos, yukatas, haoris etc., ceramics, decorations, lots of antique items, statues etc. Take a subway to Tennoji station, the temple is next it. Read more here!

In Osaka, near Tenma JR railwaystation, is a takoyaki shop owned by an 86 year old lady called Hiroko. She's been making takoyakis for 60 years in that shop. You might have seen this image set of Hiroko giving a piece of her mind about people complaining that her food is too yellow (if not, see it - it's hilarious!) Her shop is called たこ焼き 寛子（ひろこ), Takoyaki Hiroko (Hiroko). The address is 5 Chome-6-3 Tenjinbashi, Kita Ward, Osaka, 530-0041, Japan. If you use subway, get off at Ogimatchi station to get to her store.

If you love toys and anime merch, there are two good spots for these in Osaka; one is the famous Den Den Town and other one is Kiddy Land in Umeda.

You can get to Den Den Town the easiest from Nipponbashi metro station. Just head towards south. You can also walk from Namba to Den Den Town as it's just right the next corner.

Kiddy Land is a bit harder to locate in the gigantic Hankyuu department store (which is like multiple building spreading across the whole Umeda) but you can get there the best from Umeda station. Kiddy Land has lots of toy stores, like Miffy, San-X, and a mixed store of everything cute, and also a Lego store. If you go out from the building from the door next to the Lego store, you can walk a few ten meters to a big Loft-store. It also has some merch, typically San-X and Sanrio and Disney stuff, but on the top floor of the same building there's an anime store. They sell lots of art books, replica swords and also special collectible statues like Japanese deities.

Special mentioning goes to the Namba Daiso (Namba Daiso Nansan-dori). It has 5 floors, all stuff with 100 yens. It's very near Namba metro station, easy to find! If you want to get super fancy and you've got a big budget, the Takashimaya department store is near this Daiso. You can find all kind of food items there, some with ridiculous prices. There's also Daimaru department store in Namba in close proximity - they sell fresh made taiyaki cakes in the bottom floor's food section.

KYOTO

Near Kyoto, you can find a small town of Arashiyama. It is the most well-known for its ancient wooden bridge and bamboo forests. People go just walk around into the bamboo forest. Many movies and TV series has been filmed in that forest. There's a direct train service to Arashiyama from Kyoto. Arashiyama is especially gorgeous at the end of November when the fall has arrived to Kansai area. It's apparently also super pretty during cherry flower season in spring. There are lots of temples in a small area, too, if you want to explore them.

(Here's the famous bridge).

In Kyoto, there's a design shop of SOU SOU. Now, SOU SOU makes and sells handmade tabi shoes, kimonos, yukatas, string bags, dishware, and wonderful print tabi socks but they also have their own, traditional Japanese café at their Kyoto store called Sou Sou Zaifu. You can get only coffee and matcha tea here - the order is hand made in order in front of you. It's very quiet and idyllic, intimate place. I accidentally went here to find shelter from a rain and it was so lovely. Even the shop itself is worth the visit, if you're interested in fashion and design! Read more here.

(Sou Sou Zaifu cafe. It seems the same guy is still working here. He was very friendly!)

TOKYO

If you travel in Tokyo, about 45 minutes by train from Tokyo is the city of Saitama. Saitama has a Sayama Hills at Tokorozama, which is also known as The Totoro Forest. Hayao Miyazaki has taken inspiration to Totoro from Sayama Hills. It was hard to find any information of this place in English (and even in Japanese!) in the past, but nowadays there's information in English. Read more here (with a Japanese map)

[richeeduvie]

heyyyy same anon that ask abt bullying princesa….and thinking of 2 scenarios

1. princesa stalking lalo (not really ig maybe observing at best) in their early relationship

she has his number when they met in the park and maybe she wants to (or hope to) go out with him right? so in the short period of time after dropping kaylee. she goes to the local store (or the mall again) to buy new clothes in hope she will have a chance to use it.

she gets there and really surprised that lalo is there too and hes looking around (maybe with one of his members). and then he stop in front of the skirt section and look at this particular flared skirt a little too long and walk away. and she walks to it tries it on and buys it. she feels like a fricking creep but also she wants to be the prettiest girl hes ever seen so she just guiltily buy it.

and there is just this creepy ass lalo in the corner watch her buying that skirt. thinking and thinking. he feels flattered knows that she bought the skirt hes interested in.

basically it just lalo makes himself known without interacting “to make it less suspicious since they just met in the park”. and princesa is princesa so she wont make a move to him first.

or 2 shes looking around and when she picks on that skirt then BOOOM lalo comes out of nowhere and “have a friendly little chat with her” - full on flirting and bullying and saying something like “oh you will definitely look pretty in this” while shes blushing like crazy and on the verge to pass out- then he makes some half ass excuse and skedadle out of there (yes ans without paying it because again they are not “official” yet) then watch her buys the skirt from a corner.

Princesa is so stereotypical. Pretty girl that doesn't know she's pretty like if you don't stand up, woman!!! But you know her so well (you are her but) that she is buying any article of clothing Lalo has his eye on. She's not even gonna realize that flared skirts are her style. Or the style she can afford. Slutty but holy vintage housewife/hollywood starlet is not in her budget just yet. She needs Lalo for that.

She wonders why he picked out the skirt to look like, what Lalo was thinking of, again, not realizing that that's what she wears, but her hands fiddle with the material, head tilting down and to the side.

Guilt follows her down the aisle. It's creepy, it's unneeded. She's buying it for what? To impress a man that she never might see again? Why does she want that?

Princesa's quiet when it's purchased, scratching her neck and arm. Lalo could tsk a tease as he watches her. But Dios mio. Does everything hot rush in, everything like a tease. What a girl. He puts his thumb to lips, then he smiles.

"How sweet you are."

Princesa already burns when there's someone calling out to her from behind. That voice. Slightly low and throaty, already ready with charm.

And a bullying she doesn't know is happening.

"Look at us, meeting again already. What did you treat yourself to, hm?"

"Oh, hi."

Lalo already laughs. She didn't answer his question, but that's okay.

"What's got you so scared-looking? Can't be me, can it? All I did was ask you a question."

"I-I just...I'm just surprised to see you."

He smiles wide. "But you're happy to see me?"

Princesa nods quickly. Lalo ahs.

"You good girl. I'm happy to see you!"

Princesa's eyes widen. She thinks she might die. That she might fall over, or trip over her own feet if she decides to run. She wants to so badly, but she can't stop staring at him. She can't look at him either.

"I don't mean to put my nose in your things, miss - just curious."

"Just...just a skirt. I thought I would buy something I like."

"Can I see?"

Lalo seeing her like this, like her little heart is about to fall out of her chest. He doesn't want to think so cockily, but it gets him warm. He wants to hold and tease her all at once. He can only do one.

And Princesa doesn't want to deny him. She couldn't ever really, even if she doesn't know it. But at the same time, the thought of Lalo seeing the skirt makes her stomach flip and her nerves bloom. Like it's spring, but she could sweat like it's July. But August has never been hotter.

"Sure, only if you want."

"I did ask."

Princesa blinks, then sniffles. Lalo pats her shoulder.

"I'm only teasing."

Then she smiles, slightly and warm against the way he's touched her. Only her heart knows how bad it's getting. She opens the bag and Lalo peeks in.

He smiles with his teeth apart.

"Ah, what a pretty skirt. What made you buy this?"

"I-I just...I don't know, I thought it was pretty."

Even though this girl couldn't know he knows, the embarrassment on her perfect, little and stressed face is enough for Lalo's body to roll in a fire.

"I do think it's pretty too. You will definitely look like it in this."

Princesa wants to pull her body in herself. She smile shakes and her shoulders roll. She'll run soon, but her legs are jelly and she's afraid she'll fall into the floor if she tries to.

Lalo smiles with all the smugness in the world, looking down at her.

"Thank you. I have to...I have to go. I'll see you around."

His brows curve. Then one raises. "You won't call?"

Princesa stiffens. She's not doing anything right and she wants to keep staring at him.

She looks to the floor.

"I-"

"I'm only joking, funny girl. Do what you want. But I'll talk to you later."

He'll see her later, whenever she gets home.

Go now. He'll know just where to find you. Run off.

"Bye."

She says it quickly before she's out of his sight. All the blood is rushing to her face and Princesa will feel stupid that it lingers there long after her time with him.

Lalo smiles before he doesn't, making sure he's in time to follow her home. Not a good thing that she takes the bus.

[aurorasmagic]

📓Rating bos/grimoire methods📜

Before we start: If you like my info I am a teacher in the server Cult of Beast, you should go check it out (Server invite is inlined on the name, just click it)

Physical books

Super nice, love this so much

I love the idea of aesthetic grimoires and using stickers or illustrations and make each page unique and interesting

It takes a while if you want it to look very pretty, and writing in general might take a while

The biggest downside is that you cannot sort the pages, when it's written it's written

Can be organized in multiple books or binders to make it easier to find

Discord server grimoire

Not bad at all, easy to organize

You can have a #search channel to quickly find what you need

If you're looking for one specific word you can use discords in-server search bar

Can be organized in categories, channels, forums, threads, etc

There is lots of deco options on channels with emoji sites

You can add 50 custom emojis to use in texts

Good for closet witches

Notion

Absolutely adore this one

Made a Disney themed grimoire there :3

Can decorate with gifs and page icons

Can be well organized

You can also use toggle and section dividers

Can get help from AI to form words

Also works for closeted witches

OneNote

I find this one difficult to use

You can still organize and decorate

Made for note taking, so I will still say it works well

Should be a good option for closeted witches too

If I remember right you gotta pay for it

Pinterest board

There is actually not as much misinformation as it's said, but still be careful and don't trust everything blindly

Can be organized in multiple boards, or undercategory in one

Can look pretty nice and aesthetic

Amazing to use as e-offerings to deities as well

Often very simplified language, can be for the better or worse

Tumblr

Same as pinterest on the info, quite alot of good info but take everything with a grain of salt

Not organized

Great to both post and reblog

Can be aesthetic

Love the e-offerings on here smm

Amino

The archive part can be well organized

Somewhat easy to write in and perfect to if you have ever wanted to share your notes

Can be decorated and aesthetic but also simple

Can of course be closet friendly and budget friendly, like most apps here tbh

Wattpad

I like this one a lot

Can look pretty or just simple

You can make multiple books and just never post them or post them eventually

Chapters can be changed on

You can go back and edit whenever

Pretty good option if you wanna share your knowledge imo

Closet friendly

[ros3ybabe]

Day 4 - 90 Day Challenge 🎀

I got a lot done yesterday, I'm actually super proud of myself! I didn't do every single goal I had but I did a lot of them and to me that still counts for something!

🏋‍♀️ Physical Health

walked to and from campus✅️

did not hit 8k steps❌️

did not stretch before bed❌️

took my morning meds✅️

did not take my night meds❌️

read 3 chapters of Fast like a girl ✅️

made the decision to begin Intermittent fasting again ✅️

🧠 Mental Health

read a chapter of Atomic Habits ✅️

guided Journal in the AM ✅️

guided Journal in the PM ✅️

listened to a podcast from the mindset mentor about productivity ✅️

❤️ Emotional Health

answered the journal prompt "What am I addicted to?" (stimulation and validation were the two things i immediately thought of) ✅️

wrote down a list of relevant affirmations ✅️

read a section of 101 Essays ✅️

did not read a chapter of attached ❌️

📚 Intellectual Health

completed writing assignment for psychology ✅️

complete nutrition chapters quiz ✅️

researched PCOS friendly foods and diet ✅️

Researched fasting and it's benefits (specifically for PCOS) ✅️

did not budget yet ❌️

attempted but did not complete any language lessons ❌️

🥳 Social Health

did not zoom call with boyfriend ❌️

did not text friend ❌️

🥰 Self Love/Care

AM + PM Skincare ✅️

oil + washed hair + used a hair mask ✅️

cleaned around my bedroom ✅️

washed towels + sheets + pillowcases ✅️

washed dirty clothes ✅️

washed comforter ✅️

cleaned my makeup brushes ✅️

Misc.

decided I wanted to try out crochet in winter break

looked into other artsy hobbies

As I said, I got a lot done yesterday. My boyfriend and I ended up getting a little upset with each other over something which brought my mood down a little bit but I still managed to have a good day and him and I were good by the end of the day thankfully. communication goes a long way. Now, for today!

🏋‍♀️ Physical Health

morning workout

complete fasting window; 8 hour or less eating window

cook a healthy dinner

read a chapter of Fast Like A Girl

🧠 Mental Health

Read 1 Chapter of Make Your Bed

Meditate sometime during the day

AM + PM Guided Journal

❤️ Emotional Health

answer a journal prompt question

repeat affirmations to myself for 2 minutes

read a chapter of 101 Essays

read a chapter of attached

📚 Intellectual Health

1 Busuu Japanese Lesson

1 Duolingo Spanish Lesson

Complete remaining 2 Homework assignments

🏘 Adulting Tasks

look at insurance stuff some more

find Social Security card

disinfect all tech devices

🥰 Self Love/Care

Skincare at least once today

put away all clean clothes

lay down in silence for 3 minutes

So I replaced social health with adulting tasks as I'm a more introverted person so the only social tasks would be calling my dad or talking to my boyfriend or the occasional chat with the roommates. I also know that "lay down in silence" is odd but I'm trying to train myself to be okay with being bored. sort of like meditation but with an emphasis on the do nothing aspects.

I'm super tired today for no reason, but I know I'll get at least 90% of my goals met.

Til next time lovelies 🩷

[interpol-by-design]

Fuck it, I'm bored waiting for a delivery and my boss is getting on my case. Let's learn about eyeshadow!

The first thing you need to learn is that designer eyeshadow palletes? They're not a scam, but they're not exactly recommended, either. They're largely made for people with disposable income who want to be trendy, which isn't everyone. It's just a single demographic. Designer palletes are specially selected by people who are on top of the trends, who are on top of the latest colors, who are going to specifically pick precise shades that look good on a broad range of people, wearing a broad range of clothes.

Let me be blunt. I'm Kalosian, and while I love my home? We do have a classism issue. And I think part of addressing that is saying, in a neutral way, that not everyone has the same budget or the same options when it comes to cosmetics. Hell, my girlfriend grew up in a small town, so her foundation choices were pretty limited because they straight up weren't able to stock enough variety to suit her. She was between shades, and had to get creative with mixing foundation up to match her skin tone every time.

Anyways. If you want to start experimenting with eyeshadow, start with a drugstore pallete, something with a large selection! You can get two dozen or so colors to play around with, and while you may not have a lot of each one, that's okay. You're still learning. And it's okay if you run out quicker, because you're still figuring out what you like and what looks good on you.

Oh! And get good quality brushes. Start out with maybe one good brush that you like and take care of, and then, as you learn more techniques, you can continue investing in more. I get mine online from Lumiose Moon, which has actually started branching out into making paintbrushes now! Check out their beginner friendly section, that's the code for working on a budget, and make sure you use the half off shipping coupon. You can get the shipping a lot cheaper if you're willing to wait, too. They're super good about coupons, trust me. I'm a bit of a brand whore for them, to be honest, but frankly? Their budget options are nice and they let you scale up.

Why do you need good brushes? Because a good brush will pick up more pigment, frankly. You'll get better, more visible results, and more even blending if you're working with high quality equipment.

Anyways, the delivery I'm waiting for right now? See, I don't get individual palletes anymore. I just, once a year, buy myself refills for the Book of Eyeshadow, which is a full spectrum pallete with hundreds of colors. The casing folds up super nicely to fit in my bag, and all my colors are accessible in one place. I would absolutely, if you've gotten past the first step and want to get serious about makeup art, advise you to check online for a large pallete. You'll want to look for something that has both rainbow and nude shades, I keep mine separate but I know my girlfriend likes to mix them.

Oh shit, I think that's it now. Happy makeup times or something, remember that you're doing this as an art form and if you feel ugly without makeup, look into body dysmorphia! Bye for now!

[decepti-thots]

not a meme question, but do you have a favorite pen? i don't know anything about them but you seem to, lol

I do, but my answer will differ depending on if you're asking my personal favourite pen or if you want advice as someone who doesn't use FPs as to what a good way to try one out is, anon! (sorry you just ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD)

I currently have six fountain pens, five of which are 'starter'/budget pens and one of which is a mid-range 'enthusiast' pen. My favourite I own is the latter. It's my Nahvalur Original, which I own in the Spring colour, and which cost me around £45. It's a pen designed to exclusively take bottled ink with a fancy filling mechanism, instead of ink cartridges. It's not high end by the standards of fountain pens, per se, but it's solidly in the 'enthusiast' realm. (My Dad, who once owned an FP because he needed something that looked good while signing Important Work Documents, did a double take when I told him how much it was, lmao. He did not ever spend that much on one pen.) It is a hefty, lovely thing with great build quality which I can use with fancy ink and feels great to write with. Nice nib, great quality, looks awesome.

But if you have never used a fountain pen, and want to try it, you do not need to spend over £20 or your local equivalent, fwiw. Many cheap fountain pens suck, but equally, many people who have spent thirty years collecting them who own pens worth hundreds will happily tell you, many cheap fountain pens are excellent, and noone needs to spend much to get an industry-gold-standard one. My second favourite pen is my Pilot Kakuno, which is aimed mostly at schoolkids in Japan where Pilot are based, can be bought for under twenty pounds shipped in the UK, similar prices in most of the world, and writes better than multiple 'adult' pens I own. Because Pilot has incredible high quality pen nibs and the Japanese FP market is competitive. You could easily buy just a Kakuno and be set forever with a pen that is extremely good quality! And there's other similarly great options too; there's a whole section of the market that is just 'good pens for newbies'. The Lamy Safari is a very famous option from a western (german) brand, for example. (Also have one of those, it's good.)

If you want to try fancy fountain pen inks with special qualities like sparkle or sheen, you'll probably need to put down a little extra money for a converter- basically a refillable cartridge that refills from a little ink bottle, instead of the disposable ones most stationary shops sell. But you don't need that if you're happy with the normal ink cartridges. All cheap fountain pens accept cartridges, though the better brands do tend to require you buy their cartridges, unfortunately.

And if you REALLY don't want to risk it: buy a Platinum Preppy. Platinum are a very well regarded brand, they use the same nibs in their entry level pens as they do their £30 ones, just with cheaper gel pen like bodies- and they are like. £5. Comes with a cartridge. Writes great, I own one. Again, a Japanese brand aimed squarely at schoolkids, very cheap but genuinely good to write with.

(The one thing for fountain pens I would say is, do spend the extra little bit on a cheap notebook with fountain pen friendly paper. Same as with e.g. paints, good paper is more important than the pen a lot of the time. The worst fountain pen in the world on good paper is better than a £500 pen on shit paper. Here is a guide; I use Clairefontaine.)

anyway sorry maybe you didn't want all of that. but if you think fountain pens sound Interesting and are curious, i'd encourage you to try one, but buy cheap. many cheap pens rule. and fountain pens are great- they are better than almost every other kind of pen for doing longform writing, because they don't cause wrist strain when doing it for long periods. i would definitely recommend a fountain pen over other kinds if you want to use it to write for long periods, no matter what pen you get, tbh!

[monstersandmaw]

Oats the kelpie (single dad, dad-bod, absolute softie sweetheart) is now up on Patreon on early release! You can read it right now for $3, or for $5 you can have access to everything pre-2020 mothballing.

Background info post on the Full Moon Motorcycles group here Oats Appreciation post here

Featuring a plus-size, bisexual, not very confident reader, and a divorced, Scottish, single-dad, biker kelpie with a soft-dad bod and a heart as big as his bike’s engine (possibly bigger).

Wordcount: 7562

Preview:

You pushed open the glass door of Full Moon Motorcycles and willed yourself not to feel self-conscious or out of place.

Having both an older brother and a mother who rode motorbikes had at least given you a fair bit of familiarity with bikes and the general ‘biker culture’, but it was mostly the fact that almost all the ‘biker girls’ you saw posing on social media were slim and toned, which you were decidedly not.

From the utterly foetid takes in the comments section of the one post your brother had shared on his page with you in it, you’d also got the impression that the biker community was not particularly kind to any woman with a waist over 25 inches. It probably wasn’t the case, but your one experience with it had been enough to make you very wary.

And yet, as you made your way towards the bike shop’s counter and the older man with floppy, greying hair and warm brown eyes looked up, you were greeted with an open, welcoming smile.

“Hi there,” he said, standing up with a grunt from the comfy chair where he’d been sitting in the corner near the shop’s antique cash register. “What can I do for you?”

You smiled shyly and glanced along the wooden countertop before returning your gaze to him. “I’m looking for a present for my brother, but I’m kind of on a budget…”

“Gotcha. We’ve got some silly key fobs there,” he said, indicating a rotating display rack at one end of the counter, with mottoes that ranged from funny to explicit, “But if they like working on their bike themselves, you can’t go wrong with some maintenance supplies… Not the most glamorous but I promise they’ll be grateful to you all the same.”

“Could always tie a festive ribbon round it,” you said, and he chuckled and nodded.

“That’s the spirit.”

You eyed the reasonable price of the fobs with some relief, and then followed his gesture towards the various bottles of chain degreaser and the like, and a few other useful tools and kits that were stacked on shelves on the back wall to the right of a door that presumably led into the back and store rooms.

The right hand side of the shop had the counter and some shiny, new bikes that had been parked in a row around the perimeter of the space, and the left hand side was more open with a bench or two against the brick walls, and some red, mechanics’ tool-chests tucked against the back wall. A number of leather two- and one-piece suits hung in racks at the furthest end though, with helmets on shelves and a few rows of t-shirts, jeans, gloves, and boots displayed too. There were oil stains in the centre of the polished concrete floor, and you suspected that tinkering took place there outside of the shop’s usual opening hours.

The whole vibe of Full Moon Motorcycles was friendly and cosy, with a slightly industrial, grungy note for some flavour.

In short, you loved it.

“There are also some fun helmet covers –” the older man chuckled, and added, “A number of the regulars here have them, and there are also some earplugs, or perhaps a tough phone case and mount? A chain care kit? There are some vinyl stickers too, and t-shirts, socks, neck warmers, balaclavas, mugs, helmet care kits, thermals…”

Laughing, you held up your hands for him to stop, and he started to chuckle too.

“I’ll let you browse in peace, sweetheart,” he said, his whisky brown eyes twinkling. Even his un-looked-for endearment came across as kindly instead of creepy, and not many men could pull that off. “You just holler if you have questions and I’ll be happy to –”

The door opened behind you and he broke off as his attention was snagged by the arrival of a heavy-set guy in dark jeans and a softly-worn, black leather jacket. He held a black helmet with a tinted visor in his large hands, and he looked more than a little wind-blown and rumpled.

Incongruous with his rather roguish-dishevelment, a lock of his long, thick, slightly grizzled, black hair was held back by a little hair-clip with a Barbie-pink, fabric bow. It didn’t fit with the dark scruff of stubble on his jaw or the piercing green-blue eyes at all, but he seemed completely unfazed by its presence.

“Oats!” the older man exclaimed with obvious joy, clapping his hands. “It’s been a while, my boy! How was the trip to Scotland? You make it round the NC500 this time?”

The ‘boy’ looked to be in his mid to late thirties…

“Ach, no’ a chance this time, Hank,” the man chuckled with a heavy, Scottish accent lacing his rich, rough baritone. Exactly where in Scotland he was from, you couldn’t tell, but it was lyrical and attractive all the same.

“Ah, next time, next time. And is Natalie well?

“Oh aye, my wee Loch Ness Monster is doing just fine. She’ll be terrorising her mother for the Christmas holidays. I came straight from the road though — clutch started playing up just south of Birmingham.” He grimaced, but even that looked charming somehow. “Sort of hoped you might find a minute to take a look at it for me if I left the Old Girl here. No rush though.”

“No problem, Oats. We’ll get her running properly again in no time. Bet you’re missing little Natalie already,” Hank added sympathetically.

“Ah, you have no idea,” the man, peculiarly-named ‘Oats’, sighed ruefully, shaking his head.

“See she left you with a parting gift though,” Hank snorted, pointing at the bow hair clip.

With a slight frown to his dark eyebrows, Oats reached up and patted at his head until he found it, and then he laughed. It was a loud, delighted, full-bellied sound that reverberated through the space while it lasted, and he left the hair clip where it was with no trace of self-consciousness as he lowered his hand again. “Aye, that she did. Surprised it survived the journey down with my lid on and everything. Oh –” His unusually pale green eyes landed on you, watching him and lurking near the rows of t-shirts on the back wall, and he went still.

Those sea-grey eyes raked you up and down, clearly noting the way your black leggings clung to the curves of your thighs and hips, and the black hoodie, which maybe went some way to hiding the softness of your stomach a bit, and he swallowed visibly. He looked… hungry. That was not the usual reaction you had grown accustomed to from men, and you let the flare of heat lick up your insides for just a moment, daring to hope that maybe he did find you attractive.

“Sorry,” he said in your direction, with a soft, dusky smile. “Didnae mean t’interrupt.”

Read the whole thing right now over on Patreon, as well as everything else in my exclusive masterlist, plus February's story involving a holiday romance with a naga in Starfall Springs...

[redflagshipwriter]

for the Saturday Sentence thing, I'm curious on halfa Cass please?

sure! Here's a section I like from the next chapter, 7. :))

masterpost

Cass pulled her black bat hood down when she found the right area. It was bright day. Many stares that she loftily ignored. The meeting spot wasn’t Gotham or Fawcett. The laughing magician was in a dingy small town, smoking and drinking.

Captain Marvel found him first and hauled him out, friendly arm over shoulder. Cass crouched on the roof of nextdoor building to silently peer down, batting a little for the comfort factor of bat things. He was still big-man Marvel-lie, but with new clothes. Happy face with torn jeans and t-shirt. She squinted. Same Marvel shoes. Hmm. No budget, Cass decided. If any budget, better shoes.

Constantine blinked up at Captain Marvel, dazed from alcohol but interested in big handsome man. “Where are you taking me, prettyboy?” He slurred. He was a mess. He reached up and cupped Marvel’s face.

Cass moved. 

Constantine noticed her rapid approach and stumbled upright. Eyes sharp, intelligent. Then: dismay. “Fuck,” he said. Very unhappy. Genuine dislike. “A bat. Which one are you?” Disdain. 

Cass frowned. “Hands off,” she demanded. She crossed her arms. “He’s baby.”

“What?” Marvel said, sounding distressed. Ah. He didn’t know that she knew.

“Really?” Constantine said, wrinkling his face up and looking between her and Marvel pointedly. Because he was a foolish little man who didn’t understand facts that walked into his life. “A nightmare like you pulled this bloke? Fuck my life.”

Yes. A nightmare. Your nightmare.

Cass stretched her mask mouth wider so the teeth would stretch and pull even bigger. She leered at him with all her scariness. He looked like he wished she would leave. Wondered if he made good decision. Regret. Regret. I run my big damn mouth.

[gaitwae]

Where do you think all of the star trek captains would take their students on a field trip?

Hoooooo boy. What a question. I haven't seen LD, yet, and I'm not touching Discovery. Here we go!

Jonathan Archer: He would take his kids* to the aquarium. He's notoriously known as the "cool" field tripper. He seems to have the kids figured out, but somehow, there's always an accident or a kid missing and he swears he's never going to do it ever again. Someone hits their head on the glass or gets lost in the jellyfish section. 4/10 field tripper.

Christopher Pike: He would take his students to an art or history museum and make a big, scary speech upfront about how there would absolutely be NO messing around and if anyone breaks anything, they're going to get in big trouble, mister! He ends up the one screwing around with students, though, but nothing is harmed and no one is lost. Una keeps him on track so they can see the whole museum. 8/10 field tripper.

Jim Kirk: This guy is a Lugnuts** game field tripper. He wanted to go and there was a discount. He'd say there were math benefits or something and give them all a worksheet to fill out about statistics or safety or etc on the bus. No one is lost, but there might be a fight or two after sitting the wrong kids together in the stands. 7/10 field tripper.

Jean-Luc Picard: 100% to an art museum, no if ands or buts. He'd keep strict attendance and yell at anyone who dares touch any of the exhibits. I think there would be tears at one point but overall an excellent field trip. He'd know some obscure knowledge about every piece and it would be soothing to hear, and he's also really having a fun time with the kids. Tight leash on his students, no fights, no missing kids. 10/10 field tripper.

Benjamin Sisko: Lugnuts gamer as well, but also maybe a capital building or botanical grounds and gardens. Most of his field trips have educational value and he wants his kids to learn something that will stick with them the rest of their lives. He lets them have free reign and usually no one ends up missing. They'd all meet up for lunch halfway through and everyone appreciates how he treats them as if they have their own minds. 10/10 field tripper.

Kathryn Janeway: Also known as the "mom" field tripper, she'll probably take you through a city you've never seen before or the zoo. She's got simple field trips but always always always a dead-set purpose. She's got wiggle room for just-in-cases and lets the kids split into groups with chaperones. She'll yell if you get out of line. Sometimes people go missing but she always gets them back within half an hour. 9.5/10 field tripper. (Would go higher but there was someone crying... so...)

*I'm assuming this is a school-friendly field trip setting, so think average school institution budget kind of field trips. **The Lansing Lugnuts are a minor league baseball team in the American Midwest.

[20dollarlolita]

An absurdly and unnecessarily over-the-top and thorough breakdown of using my embroidery machine for a cosplay piece.

Part 1) The piece:

Many iterations of Princess Zelda from the Legend of Zelda series has this tapestry front piece. I've looked for a technical name for this piece as well as extant examples of it from our history, and my research is indicating that it's just a fantasy piece and doesn't have a name.

So we're calling it an apron. IDK. "Heraldic apron," sounds fancy enough.

One of the things that's been a bitch through all cosplay of all time is custom textiles. Since the early days of cosplay, we've been looking for ways to handle this at home. Back when I got into cosplay and took it really seriously, Worbla hadn't been invented, there was no Friendly Plastic, Wonderflex had to be purchased in 15-yard lots, the Glowforge and home 3D printing was just a fantasy, and Cricut machines ran off cartridges and couldn't design from your computer. Also, when I was cosplaying seriously, I was a college student with no job and a $100/month allowance for food (which I spent on cosplay, mostly). We didn't do fancy shit. You know what we did?

We had fuckin' hand-traced and hand-cut stencils. Mother fuckin' freezer. Paper. Stencils. Now, this version of Zelda that 2009 Me is cosplaying up there does have a much simpler heraldic apron than Ocarina of Time Zelda does. However, since I've gotten access to embroidery machines, I've had this great need to remake this sort of concept with adult me's current budget and skill set.

Now, there's a few issues from the start about making this. The notable one is that the in-game textures for the apron do not completely line up with the official artwork. When you start looking at the 3DS remakes, they re-textured the apron, giving us yet a third canonical way that this thing might be laid out.

Obviously, the easiest thing to do is to get several references, and then to slap them next to each other and compare. I've got GIMP pulled up here, and have several versions here. I adjusted color levels until the pattern in the garment was as clear as I could make it. There's horizontal guide lines going across to divide the apron into sections. We'll call those sections thusly, top to bottom: Triforce, Eyeball, Bird, 8 Rectangles, and V.

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This is going to be long and boring. I have my reasons for writing a long and boring post, but sadly, I'm not able to share them without becoming un-boring, thus defeating the purpose of this work.

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I forgot to label them, so that reference image is, from left to right: N64 screenshot, 3DS screenshot, N64 character model, small inset at the bottom is 3DS, official artwork that was released alongside the N64 game, a heraldic tabard, some official rendering of the Hylian crest, and another 3DS screenshot.

Some are pretty self-explanatory, and some are more open to interpretation. Notably, let's take a look at the Bird section. The official artwork and the 3DS remake both distinctly have the Hylian Family Crest there. The N64 version has a very distinctly different bird thing.

So, I had to decide, which one do I put on my apron? I had to consider several things, but one of them was the process of how game textures from the N64 era were made. Textures for this game were very small image files, smaller than your 2009 cosplay.com forum avatar. The reference art would be made and then other people would be in charge of turning that art into a usable texture file, so there was artistic license involved in adapting that. This game was released before the Hylian crest had been used in multiple places across several games. Therefore, we can justify making the assumption that the texture artists didn't have an understanding of how important it was to keep this part the exact shape it was, and turned "stylized bird" into "stylized bird" in a way that would read clearly on screen at 45x100 pixels. We can assume this to be the case, because, when Grezzo did the 3DS remake, their texture artist used the Hylian crest instead of the OoT bird thing.

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Sorry for all the embroidery stuff in the past few days. I've attracted the attention of a couple people online and embroidery seems to bore them, so we're doing that for a little bit until I stop being interesting.

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Cosplay has a spectrum of screen-accuracy to full-nonsense. In some things, you can do screen accuracy very well. Screen-Accurate Princess Leia from EpIV is pretty easy to make look good. Sometimes, you can do full nonsense pretty well, too. Princess Leia, but in if Star Wars was steampunk, also pretty easy to make look good.

Some things aren't as easy to make look good when you're doing screen-accurate. Sephiroth's hair in most of the Final Fantasy games stands up off his head by like 30% the height of his face. If you math that out, you have a wig with 5" antennas swooping up in the front. When you put that on a head, it looks silly. Do you want your Sephiroth to look silly? No? Then you need to do something about that hair.

My cosplay rule that I try to stick with is this: If you need to make a decision between what is "accurate" and what looks good, you pick what looks good. As long as the character reads as the character when you're done, it's better to look good than to be accurate.

And this is why, instead of just tracing any of these aprons in my embroidery software, I broke out a pen and drew the whole thing out.

Actually, I drew half of it out. The left half to be specific. I know that I'm going to mess with this later on my computer, and I know that I want the thing to be symmetrical, so let's save everyone (mostly me) some trouble and just do half of it.

Why was it important to me to draw it full size? Remember, that texture we're referencing is less than 100 pixel wide. The final piece is going to be full size, so there's a lot of things that just don't scale up easily. We're basically going from a texture the size of my thumb nail to something that has to be more high-def than 8K. This basically meant that I needed to redraw it from scratch to get that resolution. Lots of little details are going to have to be added, and I'm much better at adding them with a pen than I am just guessing while I'm digitizing the file to embroider.

So, I took it, pulled it into GIMP, and made some adjusting. I mirrored it so that I have both a left and a right side to work with. I changed the contrast so that I could see the lines better. I didn't like the Hylian crest that I drew so I just plopped the official SVG onto it and dragged it around until it fit.

And then, and this is kind of important, I cropped the image so that it's the exact proportions that I want the final thing to be. My whole design is in this file, and there's no outside image. This is important, because I'm going to use this as a template to trace in MySewnet, and the easiest way to get the background to behave properly is to pre-set it to the exact size you need in another program. Good thing this software isn't stupid absurdly expensive, or else the fact that you needed to do that would be really annoying.

The digitizing process:

Okay, so the first thing that I do is to make a custom hoop the size of the finished project. There's no way that I can actually stitch this out this big, because a 25" long hoop doesn't exist anywhere, but it's way easier to design all of it and then split it up than it is to design in pieces and then fit them together. I open the hoop in the digitizing software and load my template as the background.

Digitizing from a technical viewpoint is really simple: you click points all around the area you want to make a shape, and then you hit "make this thing", and then it renders the thing. You can then give that thing a different kind of fill or line. Easy.

So instead, I'm going to go into the art part. Because yes, I've already drawn this whole template, but I haven't figured out how to fill each of those shapes. This isn't like a coloring book where I can just fill a shape with color. Embroidery means that I have to pick how exactly I fill all those areas.

First up, I have the legendary Golden Triumph Forks. The Magical Eating Utensils. I wasn't super sold on how this was rendered in the official art. We can vaguely see how, in the game art, it looks a little more like a red outline with corner flourishes, rather than what we got in the artwork. I probably should have looked up some historical flourishes from time periods in world history where technology matched the apparent technology of the world of the Legend of Zelda, but I just kind of picked a random frilly shape.

The Triforce is one of the most important symbols in Zelda, so I knew that I wanted it to be a bright shape. This meant that I wanted to fill the shape with stitches in such a way that none of the purple backing is showing through. In embroidery terms, this usually means either a full pattern fill, or an applique. I picked applique, because this is an easy shape to applique. I knew from the start that I was going to use metallic tissue lamé. Lamé's great for a lot of things, but it's weak and shows creases. To avoid that, I wanted to put in a fill stitch to support the fabric and prevent damage, as well as hiding any big creases. I picked a big and open motif fill that will still show a lot of the applique fabric.

Eyeball:

So this is, specifically, the Sheikah Eye. It's an important symbol in the series. The Sheikah stick this eye on pretty much everything. However, it's not a fancy, gaudy, ostentatious symbol.

I grabbed a motif line at random from the list of motif lines, and happened to like it. It's a very heavy stem stitch that goes over each stitch 4-6 times, making a big, raised area. To make sure the eye was visible, I filled in the iris, teardrop, and eyelashes. I picked an opaque spiral fill, because it's a circle and these general shapes are circles. A while back, I bought some metallic white "iris" thread, and thought that a subtly-iridescent white would fit nicely.

Those little eyelashes at the bottom that aren't there in the art? Well, there's there in the game render juuuuust a little bit, and also they fall into "if it looks better that way, it's the correct way" mentality.

The Hylian Crest.

Fuck this thing.

All you need to know about this is two things: 1) I just traced the SVG that I found on the Zelda wiki, and 2) I didn't plan on stitching it out with black outlining. That black outline is just there to confuse my software into doing what I want.

Since this is as important as the triforce, I knew I wanted to do it in silver lamé. That means all of this is an applique. Quick tip: if you're going to be breaking a design into smaller segments, don't do any applique so big that it has to be spread over two segments.

Ask me how I know.

I originally had this filled with the same chain stitch that I used on the Triforce, but it made things look very samey and very mushy. I later switched it to a triangle-shaped spaced fill. I selected the triangle as the correct shape by clicking every shape one at a time and seeing what they looked like. Since this was going to be a running stitch on a shiny applique background, the fine details don't really matter. You actually can't see them normally, which is why I had to change the color here.

The outline there is the same stem motif that I used in the Sheikah eye. I found that it's wide enough to cover an applique edge without having to look like a satin stitch.

Squares, Triangles, and the Face Thing.

I have no idea what that face thing is supposed to be and apparently neither did anyone else on the internet. Since it just kind of looked like a scribble, I just rendered it as a scribble. I used a satin column so that it could have line weight similar to a drawing with a paint brush, and the shiny satin line would look like wet ink. Also known as phoning it in.

The triangles are filled with a contour fill that just traces the edges of the shape. I left some space between the lines so that the purple background can show through. This gives is sort of an optical illusion of movement. The outside of this was originally that same stem motif line from before, but after I stitched it out, I realized ti was too heavy. The final version had the same motif, but smaller, and with fewer repeats of the stitch.

I'm so damn proud of those fucking gold boxes. Okay, so, let's look at the design. Why are there gold boxes? What do they do? What do they mean? Do they represent the eight dungenons in the original game? Nope, because there were nine dungeons in the original game. Are they the eight sages? No, because there's seven sages. Is it what happens when you average the number of dungeons and sages out? I don't know. Anyway, they looked stupid just being little gold boxes, so I gave them blunted corners. I did another contour fill because I wanted them to lie flat on the finished apron and not draw any attention to themselves. As for the little tail, folks, I discovered a technique and I'm FULLY READY to abuse the heck out of it. So, I traced the lines with a satin column, ready to try to mess with the spacing to see if it'd lie flat with enough work. I hit "convert to tapered motif" by complete accident, and it was kind of cool. So, then, I went through the various motif options, found some cool looking scrolls, hit "fit to line" and slapped those in there. And I think that the little tails being written in some weird language I can't understand is SO COOL. I love how this part looks and I will not be taking other opinions on it at this time.

The V.

I didn't like how either of them looked in the original, so I just kind of winged it. I was getting bored at this point so I took a pattern fill that was supposed to be linked chains, and then I twisted it around until I was the least bored I could be with it. Again, I went with the smaller stem stitching on the outside.

Those little tails on the circles there are also filled with the scroll as tapered motif thing. If you go for this, don't forget to run the "delete short stitches" filter or else there'll be like 1100 unnecessary tiny stitches in your motifs. Ask me how I know.

Now, we learn by making mistakes, and the best way to make mistakes is to just jump in and wing it. On the left, we have the first version of this that I tried. On the right, we have the second version, which is the one I'm going to use. I've made a couple of adjustments to the file since that final version, so if I make it again, that'll be just a hair better.

So, for starters: backing fabric. I liked the movement and texture on this subtle dot tonal better than a solid purple, so i used that for both my test and my final project. The main drawback with using a printed tonal instead of a dyed solid is that the back of the printed fabric is still white. On some things, specifically the area around the satin stitching on the ink face thing, you can see subtle white haloing where the stitching's displaced the background. I don't like it. No one else seemed to notice or care.

I knew that I'd be doing this in my endless repositionable hoop, but I hadn't taken into account that I'd be doing it in the endless hoop sideways. The endless hoop expects you to go from top to bottom, and my design goes left to right. This means that I have to fight the fabric around the clamp of the hoop. The endless hoop also doesn't hold things as tightly as a regular hoop does. Because of the way the fabric is moved through the hoop, a fusible or sticky stabilizer has to be applied to the fabric before, instead of being hooped with the fabric. All of this meant that I just didn't get the support that I needed on the first go around. You can see this in the way that the fabric has bunched up around the 8 boxes. For the first round, I used some fusible no-show mesh stabilizer. It wasn't wide enough, so I had to cut it in chunks and apply it sideways. For the second round, I used two layers of Power Mesh (same stuff but different brand) as well as a layer of light+tacky paperless sticky tear-away. I really hate that light+tacky stuff so ti's exciting to finally use it up.

My first trial was mostly to see if I could make the endless hoop work like I wanted it to. In this trial, I learned a lot of things. I kept the computer nearby to make changes as I noticed them. When I was done, I looked at what I'd made. I didn't like all the proportions in all of the design, so I dragged some stuff around in the file. This was when I realized that the heavy stem stitch motif everywhere was looking clunky, and reduced or removed it from several places. I changed the fill of the Hylian crest to the triangular fill. shout out to anyone from That One Anonymous Message Board who made it this far in this post to try to prove how deranged I am. You've got a lot of time on your hands, don't you? I completely changed all of the instructions to tell the computer how to do the applique on the Hylian crest (which I STILL got wrong), and added some aligment stitches to help with the applique process. This was when I changed the color of the outline in the software. Ideally, you should now be able to lay the applique down as one fabric, let the machine sew the whole thing, and then trim it. This is important, because that applique spreads out over two hoopings, so it's kind of a mess. The secret to making this work is for hooping #2 (eye and top half of crest) to stitch out the eye BEFORE the applique, so that the whole fabric can be placed over the completed eye. We learn.

Once it was all combined and digitized, it's important to render all the digitized elements as stitches, and then do a bit of cleaning up.

Notably, I really needed to take those tapered motifs and run the stitch optimizer program. The stitch optimizer's job is to remove stitches that are too short to stitch out nicely. When looking at the 3d views in the software, I can't tell which of the samples is the before and which is the after. If I zoom up really close in illustration mode, I can see it, but remember that this is like a 1" wide strip of stitching. The basic rule is that any time the software wants to remove 3300 stitches and you can't see the difference in the stitch-out, you REALLY WANTED to remove those 3300 stitches. That's not 3100 stitches from all over the design, BTW. That's just 3100 stitches from that one section.

I go over my test swatch, section by section, and make sure there's nothing that I forgot to put into the software. I also just delete every jump cut and then make the software add them all back in. The program that adds cuts automatically tends to be more judicious wit them than the digitizing program is when you make the design, so it's a way to make a design stitch out a lot smoother with just two clicks.

So, once all of that is done, we can just run the design splitter program. The design splitter says it has "intelligent splitting" settings, which is an absolute joke, but I use inteligent setting anyway. It's not necessarily any better at picking where to split than a straight line is, but our eyes are trained to see straight lines. The allegedly-intelligent splitting does at least split at random points, making it harder for your eyes to pick out what's a splice and what's a continuous line.

So, in addition to "intelligently" splitting the design apart, the program adds two color blocks to each split piece. One is before the stitches, and it's four stitches long. This just does one stitch at each corner of the design area.

The second block it adds is at the end. This block stitches a corner marker at each corner in the design. In this picture, the before line is green and the after line is red. I offset them by a little bit so that you can see what's going on, but they do happen directly on top of each other.

This is important, because you're trying to lay your design out so that every section of the split design lies perfectly next to the other ones. When you re-hoop your fabric, you can step through the first four stitches. If you've placed your fabric correctly, then those stitches should perfectly touch the markers that were sewn in the previous blocks. If they don't line up, you can just re-hoop over and over and over and over until it lines up.

In theory, you can line up an entire design just using these markers and the alignment stitches. You can just keep rehooping forever until it lines up. It's great. On the other hand, if your embroidery machine has literally ANY KIND of design placement setting onboard, that can help a whole lot. The astute observer will note that, on that picture way up at the top, that machine isn't my Topaz 50. That's because the T50 has some nice basic design positioning that will let you place within a certain range, but it won't let you tilt the design if you hooped it crooked. I did the first attempt at this on my Topaz, and it was fine, but there was a lot of re-hooping. So I might have taken this to work, to do this on the machine that's a step up from mine. (While I was there, I used a sit-down Bernina longarm to "hand"-baste the stabilizer on. That's not the intended use of the machine, but if you set stitch regulation to like 1 stitch per inch, and then you just pull the fabric straight through from the side, you get perfectly straight basting lines. If you're not feeling like dedicating an entire room in your house to having a free-motion machine just to baste straight lines, most mid-tier sewing machines have a fake hand-basting setting in them somewhere). Anyway, if you don't already have a bunch of hoops from HV, you can get that kind of positioning setup on Brother and Baby Lock for much less than the cost of the machine I was working on. If doing big multi-hoop projects like this is a priority for you, ask your salespeople about machines that make this really easy.

You now also have the great trade-off: the smaller the hoop, the tighter the design will hoop, and the less stabilizer you'll need. However, the bigger the hoop, the more you can shift the design around in the machine without hitting the edge. The tighter the hoop grabs, the less stabilizer you need, but the harder it is to shift the fabric that's already being held in the hoop to get it where you need it to go.

I handled this by just fucking throwing a shit ton of fucking stabilizer at it like there was no tomorrow. There's three layers on this bad boy.

You might be saying "Why didn't you just use a heavier cut-away?" and you'd be right, except for two things. 1) if I use two lighter layers, then I can trim the stabilizer away in layers, avoiding the stabilizer showing through and 2) my store didn't have any wide fusible cut-away in stock so

Anyway, here it is, time to make it into the actual apron. I'm very excited for this project. I'll probably break out the repositionable hoop again to do a border on the outside of the completed project, but I don't know for sure exactly what that'll look like.