#Batman: there is a child
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Danny’s Wayne adoption bait. The guy that owns the bodega knows it. Everyone and their mothers knows it. Danny, on the other hand, had no clue. To be fair, he had just crash landed in this dimension a week ago and his back was still sore from the weird design the car had.
(It’s only three weeks of homelessness later does Danny realize that he crash landed on the Batmobile. Whoops. Oh well. He’ll blame it on Clockwork if the vigilante asks after repair costs.)
(Bruce, on the other hand, is scouring the streets for this kid the car cams caught- oddly static filled footage- because his mind jumped to the worst case scenarios: a suicidal meta or a meta being threatened or a meta in a trafficking scheme or even worse all three at once and Bruce just can’t because there is a child in danger, he doesn’t have time to sleep.)
Danny rubbed at his back, eyes going watery at the memory. Sure, his wounds have healed over by now but the- heh- phantom pain is no joke. He shuddered, huddling closer to his threadbare hoodie. His only saving grace from getting jumped while walking the streets of Gotham at night is his invisibility and intangibility. Also, he’s floating, so “walking” doesn’t apply to him.
He’s gotta check on the kid he saved yesterday from a mugging, so Danny hurried along to the depilated apartment complex the kid was squatting in. Turning visible and tangible as he turns the corner, Danny glanced around for Amy.
“Danny!”
“Hey, kiddo. Doing alright?”
“Yeah! Come meet my gang!”
Danny felt his eyebrows rise to form Jazz’s exasperated look. Ouch. Waving the pain of losing Jazz away, Danny smiled at the excited girl.
“A gang? I wasn’t aware I was being brought to your almighty group.”
“Yeah! Uh, you actually helped a bunch of us so…”
Danny thought back to all those times he punted crooks away from robbing kids and shrugged. Yeah, what Amy said was likely.
“Kay, kiddo.”
She scowled, and Danny didn’t have the heart to tell her it looked more like a pout.
“You’re just a teenager.”
“Well, you’re a just a kid.”
Danny cackled as she chased him down the street, trying to kick his shins.
Life is good, even if he’s homeless and hungry.
——
“Jason.”
“Old man.” Jason mocks back, pausing his tasks. He waits as Bruce struggles to put his thoughts and feelings into words.
“There’s… a meta.”
“In Gotham?” Jason tilts back, hands halfway to his guns as a silent offer. Bruce shakes his head.
“A child. In Crime Alley.”
“In my turf?” Jason’s disquieting demeanor quickly swapped to a protective one.
“Trafficking, I think. Male, black hair…”
“Shit. Get Dickwing back here, he’s good with traumatized kids. I’ll go look for him.” Jason’s already moving, mind filtering through the kids he knows might have information to offer.
Bruce nods, shoulders relaxing. Jason smacks down the lump in his throat at the subtle sing of trust. “I’ll get Oracle and Red Robin on it.”
Jason morphs from Jay to Red Hood in one smooth step, helmet firmly placed on his head. He grunts in agreement, slinging his legs over his motorcycle. He roars off, mind half filled with tearing apart whatever traffickers dared to shit near his territory and the other half filled with worry for this possible kid.
——
Danny, as the Bats become aware of his existence, hands Amy and her kiddie gang a bag of fancy beef jerky.
“Try these with peanut butter, it’s kind of good.”
Amy stares at him, the judgement of an eight year old more piercing than anything he’s ever experienced.
“You’re fucking weird-”
“Language!” He squawks.
“-but sure, whatever you say, boss.”
“Boss?!”
The kids ignores his alarmed face.
#danny phantom#batman#dc x dp#bruce wayne#Danny had minions#Danny saved a bunch of kids from two face and now they’ve imprinted on him#like ducklings#Danny: I’ll have a nice vacation#also Danny: fights a villain and saves like a dozen kids#Danny: unionizes the kiddie gangs via peanut butter and beef jerky#Batman: there is a child#red hood: that needs our help!#dc x dp crossover#dp x dc#Danny dents the Batmobile and leaves an IOU#but doesn’t leave the owner a way to contact him
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Anyways, thinking about Batman pulling his disappearing act on the GCPD rooftop for the first time after partnering with Robin, and just leaving Robin behind.
Gordon turns around, notices that Batman is gone but the kid is not. Then Robin notices that Batman is gone, and promptly burst into tears because, “He left me! He left me behind!”
Jim Gordon is not heartless and he’s a father, he takes the kid into the precinct. He gives him a blanket and a snack. He tries to calm him down and asks if he knows a phone number that he could call for Batman. He gets a wobbly, “He doesn’t have a phone.”
Jim steps out of his office for a second to speak with an officer about turning the bat signal back on, and when he gets back to his office the kid is gone. The crime scene photos and forensic report from the joker attack yesterday are also gone from his office.
Meanwhile Robin is standing in the alley behind the GCPD, waving as Batman grapples down to meet him. He gives him a big smile and says, “I got the evidence!”
“Good job, Chum.”
#there’s a lot of advantages to having a child sidekick#- Batman to the JLA at some point#Robin#Bruce Wayne#dick Grayson#Batman
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wahoo finished this in time for superbat week day 5: tired dads!!
#superbat#superman#batman#batfam#superfam#bruce wayne#clark kent#dcu#dc comics#kara zor el#conner kent#jon kent#damian wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#barbara gordon#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#duke thomas#my art#mine#oh my god i am tired just like they are these two have too many children!!!!!!!!!!!!!#yes i am stretching the definition of children but consider this:#i wanted to draw kara and barbara and steph and whoever else is technically-not-actually-their-child
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Kid!Dick, kicking his legs up on the front dash, looking at Bruce driving: Are we there yet?
Bruce, driving to Kansas on their “first big road trip” at Dick’s suggestion: No.
[ten minutes later]
Dick: Are we there yet?
Bruce: Get your feet off the dashboard chum.
Dick, grumbles but crisscrosses his legs: Yeah but are we there yet?
Bruce: Still no.
[five minutes later]
Dick, turning the radio on and off.
Bruce: Why don’t you do some reading chum?
Dick, doesn’t look up: Makes me sick.
Bruce: Okay…
[minute later]
Dick, trying to climb out the open car window.
Bruce, frantically trying to pull him back.
[ten minutes later]
Dick, smiling wildly with windswept hair: Are we there yet?
Bruce, tired, just wants to sleep, shirt crinkled, rethinking all of his life choices: Not even close.
#Dick has ADHD you cannot convince me otherwise#dick is a nightmare of a child#batman#dc comics#dc#batfam#batfamily#bruce wayne#dick grayson#Robin#incorrect quotes#mine
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Thinking about the JL finding out that Bruce has contingency plans for all of his kids and being horrified. But when the League asks them about it, all the kids are like “yeah! we actually all have them for each other just in case” and move on like it’s perfectly normal to have three different ways to take out your brother on hand (for emergencies).
#thoughts#bruce wayne#batman#dc#batfamily#batkids#batfam#like father like son#except it’s like paranoid bat figure#like paranoid bat child
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Jason: *terrified, thinks he's gonna die* Bruce: *used to carrying Dick around like a ferret* small child. so small.
#dc#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#batfam#bruce for the love of god thats not dick that child is afraid of u put him down#bruce vision: small angry chihuahua that needs cuddles. Jason vision: giant wolf about to eat him. Dick vision: two idiots.#i was trying to color this nicely but i lost patience so.#my art
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Dick was 100% the worst kid Bruce had to deal with, but he turned out such a well adjusted adult (relatively) that no one believes Bruce when he tries to explain the absolutely unholy terror that was pre-teen Dick Grayson.
#Clark: come on Bruce I think you’re being a little dramatic here! dick’s great!#Bruce: you were there clark. you weren’t there#and whenever Jason calls Dick the golden child Bruce has to physically hold himself back from screaming bc Dick was NOT THE GOLDEN CHILD#HE WAS A ONE CHILD REIGN OF TERROR#Bruce would raise literally any other Robin again then have to go through Dick’s adolescences again#dc#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#batfamily#dick grayson#batfamily headcannons#jason todd#tim drake#chaotic dick grayson#dick grayson silly
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batman has gotta be one of my favorite heroes only because he’ll go through the most borderline traumatic series of events possible where he may or may not have proved an afterlife existed just to drive away in his stupid fucking batcar with his stupid fucking bat ears peeking out
#“i saw a child get reduced to red dust via metal grinder. alfred prep the batcomputer we have a mystery to solve!!!”#the constant flip in genres between gothic horror novel and cheesy campy feel-good superhero story. my fav#also. ‘batman isn’t a mystical character’ my ass like 45% of his stories involve zombies or vampires or ghosts or some shit like that#batman#bruce wayne#dc comics#dc
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Actual 9 year old Dick Grayson, strapped into his booster seat, currently throwing a fit in the Batmobile because he ate all the elephants out of his animal crackers, “Zitka nooooooo!”
Batman, 22 year old new father, on the phone with Alfred because he has no idea if this is normal or trauma, “whatdoidowhatdoidowhatdoidohewontstopcryinghelpmeplease”
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Alfred honestly can’t say shit about Bruce bringing in strays, because what if the Waynes got him the same way?
I genuinely can’t recall HOW Alfred, British special forces extraordinaire, ended up working for Gotham’s (scary) sweethearts.
In my mind, he came to them bleeding.
There’s a tang of bitterness pooling in his gut. Soldiers don’t have friends. They have guns. And he’s all out.
Just when Alfred thought all is in peril, a tiny little hand gently covers a nasty bullet hole on his abdomen.
The first thing Alfred thinks about is: ‘Jesus, this kid has scary eyes.’
“Hi, Alfred.”
“…How do you—“
“Bruce! Jesus FUCKING Christ, I swear, I’m not paying for your ransom next time you run o—…What the fuck is that?”
If there’s one thing about Thomas that Alfred will never forget is his voice; The bass , so chasmic and powerful it could shake the whole world, and the burning care in his eyes despite his vulgarity.
Bruce, — who’s the tiniest bundle of a boy Alfred witnessed, is yanked up by his father’s strong hands, squeezed to his chest carefully. “Hurt,” he says. There’s a tiny, red handprint on Thomas’ shirt.
“Yeah, I didn’t notice,” Thomas mumbling, looking around.
Maybe local gangs? The bullet point is too precise, too calculated. “Who the hell are you?”
Alfred, with his raspy breath, says, “I’m the terribly rude bloke dying on your doorstep, I’m afraid. Alfred Pennyworth. At your service.”
For a guy who’s about to bleed his last, he sounds awfully sarcastic.
“Yeah, wise guy, no one’s dying on my kid’s birthday. Bruce, tell Dotty to prep up the basement. And tell your mama to get my Budlight out of the cooler. Jesus Christ.”
Alfred ends up hoisted on this man’s back. Thomas asks if he has anyone he wants to call? Anyone that’ll come pick him up? Anyone to bury him, if it comes to it.
Alfred whispers he does not.
Thomas sighs. “Well. Kid‘a been asking for a playmate.”
#Thomas isn’t that serious but Alfred KEEPS COMING BACK#he got attached to the strange round eyed ghost pale child#Martha came back from her trip to Russia and saw her husband performing surgery on a guy with no anesthesia#cigarette in his mouth - because this ain’t a hospital. and it ain’t even lit.— and Bruce hands him the tools and she sighs. god damn it.#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#thomas wayne#dc comics#dc#batman#baby bruce wayne#the waynes#text#text post
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If I had a nickel for every time I drew Tim insisting that Jason is a good person I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s sad that it’s happened twice.
anyways have some de-aged Tim angst
#batman#dc comics#fanart#dc#batfam#batman fanart#digital arwork#jason todd#jason todd fanart#red hood#red robin fanart#red hood fanart#tim drake fanart#tim drake#red robin dc#dc robin#tim drake robin#robin dc#red robin comics#child Tim drake#De aged Tim drake#red robin#dc batman#dcu#dc universe#dc fanart#batfamily#batkids#batbros#jason feels guilty
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The batkids encountering distressed children and calling them "sweetheart", subconsciously mimicking how Bruce would and will call them sweetheart when they're distressed, and not even realizing it?? Don't speak to me. I can't.
#I was specifically thinking about dick doing this#and it being particularly emotional bc he's the eldest child. the one who had to step in and be batman for while#the one who's practically like a second parent to his siblings and just like.#smth about it hits hard.#bc dick is very different from bruce but he's the eldest so he's also more similar to bruce than anyone in the family cares to admit#and when dick uses that nickname. for a moment the family just sees bruce#and it's heart wrenchingly beautiful#I'm not convinced I conveyed my thoughts well at all but oh well I tried#dc#dc comics#batman comics#batman#batman meta#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#dc robin#jason todd#jason todd wayne#red hood#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne is a good dad#bruce wayne is a good parent#tim drake wayne#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#damian al ghul#cassandra cain
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Bruce tries to adopt Ellie, who is immediately against it. She keeps throwing him off her trail and he keeps tracking her down. She's honestly concerned, and normally she would handle her problems by herself- but this is Batman.
So when Bruce gets a little too close and Ellie is just so tired... she calls for Danny.
"Mom!"
Cue college student, perpetually tired and overworked Danny "High King Phantom" Fenton appearing from the very shadows Batman normally does himself, seeing the situation and going off at this "clearly older man" chasing his daughter in the middle of the night.
Cue the most elaborate "stop trying to adopt my kid before I adopt yours" series of battles
#danny phantom#dc comics#batfam#batman#dani fenton#danny fenton#bruce wayne#dc x dp#ellie fenton#feel like ellie would be deaged in this one#while danny allows her to travel freely he has a check in system for her#as well as periods she has to come visit so she can go to doctors appointments or for holidays#he also forced vlad to help set up her human identity and she has online schooling#feel like everytime someone in the batfam tries to get info from danny or ellie on how they came to be they both are incredibly vague#but in a way that sets vlad in a really bad light#they dont mention the cloning they just phrase it as “vlad took advantage of danny when he was younger and ellie was the result”#danny complains often about child support and how vlad “still tries to make family ties”#ellie just says vlad lies and its why she consider danny her only parent
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Teacher: anyone have any questions?
Kid!Dick: [raises hand]
Teacher: yes?
Dick: If I ate a tuna in front of another tuna would it count as psychological torture?
Teacher: …
Teacher: Any questions related to the topic at hand.
Dick: [raises hand]
Teacher: Anyone other than Mr Grayson.
#yes Dick would be that child#Jason would be that child’s brother who everyone assumes is the same but is actually a saint#Tim is a ‘’pleasure to have in class’ though he never pays attention and does the bare minimum on assignments#dc comics#dc#batfam#batfamily#batman#robin#dick grayson#incorrect quotes#mine
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We all know the semi-canonical ‘all the Robins know to hide/duck inside of Batman’s cape, even as adults’ thing.
We also know that Danny ‘is LITERALLY a ghost’ Fenton sucks at remembering his own intangibility while ALSO forgetting to look ahead of him.
All I’m saying is, Danny Fenton (or Phantom, if you’d really like) would absolutely SLAM into Batman on accident while running on roof tops and Bruce ‘Brooding Instinct’ Wayne doesn’t even think twice about letting the kid hide and scanning around for danger before there’s a record scratch of ‘wait who tf is this?’ kicks in.
#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom crossover#listen I’m just SAYING#my initial thought is Fenton bc dark hair and how most of the robins have had dark hair#Danny isn’t even necessarily running from danger. he just got into parkour and forgot how to stop his momentum#I mean you CAN have him running from something. give this an ACTUAL plot#but honestly I just think it’d be a fun little setup#Danny peaks out and. in panic. goes#hi we’re the council of the dead. we’ve been trying to contact you and yours about your extended warranty#*extended life warranty or what have you#Danny hasn’t even gotten death vibes from anyone yet so now he has to wing it#yeah hi… uh. Batman sir. if that’s your preferred moniker?#right so we’re basically the ghost irs and you owe death taxes?#yeah you know the saying. death and taxes. guarantees of life. haha.#which in this case means you owe money bc you aren’t dead yet. probably. idk I uh. JUST got the job .#anyways ohhhh hi yep you’re. red hood. yeah so. mm. yeah we definitely need to get you to the ghostly dmv#it’s the same as a regular dmv but people have actually been bored to death in there#(meanwhile Batman is like WAIT IS THIS SMALL CHILD DEAD?!)#(SURE WHATEVER IM RICH HOW DO I FIND A GHOST ACCOUNTANT AND MORE IMPORTANTLY DO YOU RESPECT GHOST ADOPTIONS?)
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Tim: Do you believe in ghosts?
Bat!reader: I do.
Tim: I don't.
Bat!reader: Why not?
Tim: *Shrugged*
Bat!reader: You don't feel like anyone could be whiter than you?
Tim, taken aback by the comment: Wow
#batman#dc comics#dc#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect dc quotes#incorrect batfamily#batfamily#batfamily x reader#batfam x batbro#batfam x batsis#dc x reader#dc comics x reader#Tim drake#tim drake x reader#batfam shenanigans#dc fluff#dc imagine#tim drake x male reader#tim drake x female reader#dick Grayson x reader#jason todd x reader#Stephanie brown x reader#cassandra cain x reader#duke thomas x reader#bruce wayne x son!reader#bruce wayne x child!reader#bruce wayne x daughter!reader#damian al ghul x reader#damian wayne x reader#dcu
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