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Headcannon that the bat kids look nothing like Bruce but somehow look like each other, even Damian. Like people can buy that they are all adopted but everyone believes that they are full siblings.
They make up this ridiculous narrative of how their birth parents were in a poly relationship with Bruce but after their tragic death they were separated. It took years for Bruce to find them and go through all the legal loops for adoption.
It was so convincing that even some members of the JL believe it. (Clark and Diana being the only two that know the truth since they were there to help.)
They also do that creepy sibling thing with the synchronized speech and moment. They do it to creep out the annoying paparazzi and reports.
They also do this is costume and it’s fucking amazing.
No body wants to fight the birds without Batman. They do that creepy smile, head turned to the side and slow walk all in sync.
The running theory is that Batman sold his soul to the devil and the Robins are all demons or some form of supernatural.
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Damian: Why did Richard quit being Robin and move out?
Jason: He- wait, why did you?
Dick: Joker shot me in the shoulder.
Tim, scoffing: You wouldn't quit because of that, c'mon tell us the actual reason.
Dick: How would you kn- Oh yeah, your stalker years.
Tim: I wasn't a stalker
Dick: Keep telling yourself that.
Damian: Richard stop deflecting the question.
Dick:
Jason: Dick
Dick, sighing: Bruce got really upset and didn't want me getting hurt as Robin.
Tim: You wouldn't listen to that without a fight so do tell what else did he do to make you quit?
Damian, catching on: Did Father fire you?
Dick: He did it to keep me safe.
Tim: If he fired you, did he kick you out too?
Dick: I guess...
Damian: Richard was 17 at the time, was he not?
Jason: Roy mentioned you staying at his place once. Did Bruce not give you a place to stay?
Dick, getting increasingly nervous: I only spent a few nights, and I could make money perfectly fine.
Tim, growing pale: B didn't help you?
Dick: Don't worry, I don't think he'd do that to any of you.
Damian, appalled: I'm his blood son but what difference is there between you and Drake?
Dick: Well, I was going to age out in a couple months anyway.
Jason: Age out?
Tim, dread filling him: The articles only referred to him as B's ward.
Jason: Why are you mentioning that now, there's some more important things to be thinking about!
Damian: ...Was Richard not adopted?
Dick: I'm still here, y'know.
Damian: Apologies, but I require a proper response. Were you adopted?
Dick: I am now.
Everyone:
Jason: I'm murdering Bruce.
Tim, grinning: I have some alternatives in mind
Jason: Oh?
Damian: I shall sharpen my blades in preparation.
Dick, exasperated: stop, please.
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Bruce Wayne & Kids™ on one of those YouTube celebrity interview channels
°
Interviewer: *hands Bruce one of those Most Googled Questions boards* We'll just start off with some miscellaneous questions for Bruce
Everyone: *nods/hums their agreement*
Bruce, peeling off the first sticker: Ok! First question, "Who is Bruce Wayne..? Dating!
Bruce: God question, so actual-
Bruce gets interrupted as all his children, sitting around him, give their own answers
Dick: Clark, obviously
Jason: Superman
Tim: Selina
Cass: Minhkhoa Khan
Stephanie: Superman
Damian: Mother
Duke: No one..?
Bruce: ...
Everyone: ...
Bruce: So as I was saying, Bruce Wayne is currently single
Bruce, exasperated: Thank you, Duke
The kids: *suspicious glaring at each other and Bruce*
Bruce: ...
Bruce: Hey so we need to redact that-
The final clip is filled with long beeps, you can mildly make out three voices, two saying "Superman" and a young voice going "mother"
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Jason and Tim talking about dealing with Bruce
Jason: How do you do it? Isn't he so... frustrating?! Doesn't he drive you nuts?!
Tim: Of course he does.
Jason: Then what do you do instead of wanting to strangle him?
Tim: Easy. Set Dick on him.
Jason: ...What?
Tim: Yeah. Nothing sends Bruce into a tailspin faster than a disappointed Grayson.
Jason: *Looking at Tim with awe in his eyes* You're a scary, evil, little genius
Tim: Yup. Works on everyone.
Jason: *impressed* Damn.
Jason: Wait... what do you mean it works on everyone?
Tim: What I said - it works on everyone.
Jason: You... you've never set Dick on me, have you?
Tim:
Jason: ... *cracking his knuckles*
Tim: Noooooo
Jason: *grinning meanly* Hey, lil bro. I think it's time for some brotherly bonding
Tim: *already running* Dick?! DICKKK!!!!!
Jason: *running after him* You shut up!!!
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Tim: Can you imagine the food they eat in jail? Bleh!
Dick: Don't need to imagine, it's disgusting.
Jason: When did you try prison food?!
Dick: When I was 8.
Tim, scoffing: If you commited a crime I'm pretty sure there'd be hundreds of articles about it, I didn't see any when I was researching you.
Dick: Oh! I didn't commit a crime.
Jason: Why the fuck would you be in Juvie if you didn't commit a crime?
Dick: Orphanages were full.
Everyone:
Jason: The hell?
Tim: I'm calling a lawyer, that has to be illegal.
Damian, in the vent: I can't believe this city's incompetence.
Dick: I can. Now get down here.
Damian: Fine.
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True toddler behavior
People liked the baby Tim au so now I offer you toddler Tim
—-
Jason: Let’s play with your toys
Tim: ok!
Tim, goes over to puzzle: you sit there
Jason, sitting in the opposite end of the table: what do I do?
Tim: sit qi-quiet
Jason: …
—-
Tim, grabbing onto Bruce’s hand: strawberries
Bruce: when we get to the park
Tim: no
Bruce: excuse me?
Tim:
Bruce:
Tim: I want Dickie
Bruce:
—-
Damian: Timothy, I’ve brought you a gift.
Tim, likely on the ground minding his own business: ?
Damian, tosses a box of legos at him: here
Tim: …
Damian: what?
Tim: I-I have this one
Damian: how..
Tim: daddy!
Damian:
—-
Clark, on babysitting duty: So, what do you want to do?
Tim: airplane.
Clark: I don’t think Bruce-
Tim: airplane.
Clark proceeds to grab Tim and fly around.
—-
Toddler Tim would be the most direct child
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Could also be Dick and Jason
Damian: So what’s for dinner?
Dick: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise!
Damian: …
Damian: Is it soup?
Dick: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*
Damian: Please, enough with the soup puns!
Dick: Wow, you’re soup-per mean.
Damian: STOP!
*one hour later*
Damian: It’s tacos?!?!?!
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Based off the thanksgiving convo my sister and I had with my brother
Dick: hey I’m going on a walk you wanna come
Jason: sure I’ll go grab Tim, does Damian want to go on a walk with us
Dick: I’ll ask
Dick: Damian you should come on a walk with us
Damian: why would I want to do that
Dick: you do I promise, come on
Damian: no why- oh. Yeah sure I’ll come
Bruce: *confused*
Alfred: *knowing full well they are going to go smoke pot, Bruce did this several times growing up. He wishes he was more surprised Bruce hasn’t caught on*
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do you guys think that the batkids ever try and sneak weed into the mansion and Ace the Bat-Hound alerts that he can smell drugs and Bruce is just:
Bruce: I’m not mad. I just want to know what it is and who has it.
…
Bruce: And also where you got it.
Tim: *looking at Steph*
Steph: *staring at Tim*
Dick: I for one am just distraught that my baby siblings are doing drugs.
Duke: *glaring accusingly at Dick* Dick offered me weed gummies my first night at the mansion.
Dick: *offended noises of denial*
Steph: *nodding* He always offers me weed when I visit him in Bludhaven too.
Tim: *owner of the weed that Ace is alerting at* Yeah, he’s real into drugs and stuff. Kept offering me gummies during family movie nights
Dick: Okay in my defence-
Bruce: *head in hands* What did I do to deserve this?
Alfred: *vividly remembers Bruce’s party drug phase of grief* What didn’t you do is the real question, Master Bruce.
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love imagining that the ninjas/assassins in the LOA actually genuinely liked bruce. he’s a decent person and very charming and smart. they got along with him pretty well when he was training with them.
so they don’t really like when their boss drags them to gotham to get their asses beat by him. they’re like ‘can’t we just invite him to dinner or something?’
(ra’s does invite batman to dinner. frequently. but he never shows up without throwing fists and breaking bones.)
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Daddy issues... son issues??
Jason: Can a parent have daddy issues?
Tim: Obviously. They-
Jason: No I mean can they have daddy issues for their child?
Tim: What the actual heck are you on about?
Jason: Because I SWEAR Bruce has daddy issues for Dick.
Tim: WHAT? WHAT?!! What the actual-
Jason: No, think about it. Someone with daddy issues has: Fear of abandonment, difficulty trusting a partner, feeling insecure in a relationship, being clingy or possessive, needing constant reassurance, being easily jealous or suspicious, and attracting abusive partners.
Tim: *panicking* Hold-
Jason: *on a roll* NO. Bruce literally stalks dick and gets mad and scared over him leaving, he doesn't trust his robins to meet his standards, he constantly trauma-dumps on Alfred about his and Dick’s relationship, and he’s super clingy and possessive when it comes to Dick—like, look at the Titans! He’s obsessed. He literally asks Dick if things are alright between them CONSTANTLY. Abusive partners? I don't mean to talk shit about Talia and Selina but they're literally villains.
Tim: *having a crisis*
Jason: Bruce Wayne- the first man to have daddy issues... in reverse.
Tim: *whimpering* Please stop talking.
Jason: ...But wait... all these things... doesn't Dick have some of them too?!
Tim: NO!
Jason: *speeding up* No, no.. HOLY SHIT, IT'S A CYCLE! Bruce is feeding into Dick's issues and Dick is feeding into Bruce's because Bruce is looking for validation from Dick and Dick is looking for validation in Bruce and they-
Tim: *frantically calling* KON, COME PICK ME UP. I'M SCARED.
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Bruce Wayne 100% uses his children to get out of things.
There’s a gala tonight? Oh, what a shame, Duck just came down with the flu and he gets so clingy when he’s sick. Justice League meeting coming up? Well, he already promised Jason that he could host book club at the Manor, and Bruce needs to be there to supervise. He’s supposed to be stopping an alien invasion? Actually he’s not, Tim needs help with his English homework. Oh, the head of the Wayne Enterprise’s board of directors is on the phone? Yeah nope, Cassie’s got a ballet recital tonight; he’ll call back in the morning!
I’m just saying, if I have like 8+ kids I would totally be using them as scapegoats.
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Big brother part 3/4
Cool Big brother!!! °^°
The university has me with very limited time to draw.
The saga of the older brother is on hiatus, because it is not yet time for Tim to appear :3
Part 1 - Prev - Next
Parts list
the saga of mischief is coming!!
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I really love how Stjepan Sejic draws Wonder Woman
(more here)
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