#Androphobia

[transandrobroism]

i am not being needlessly alarmist when i say that popular feminism has become extremely radfem-esque and that the normalisation of negative stereotypes towards men needs to be resisted. like. i clearly remember when feminists were derided as "man-hating feminazis" and the main counter-argument to that went something like "we don't hate men, feminism is for everyone, patriarchy harms men too and our goal is to dismantle that oppressive system, this will benefit everyone including men, men can and should be feminists because feminism is a movement for gender equality"

in fact the major rebuttal to men forming "men's rights" movements was always that the issues these groups identified were the negative impacts of the patriarchy on men. they didn't need a separate group because feminism was for everyone and feminist thought and theorising already accounted for the ways patriarchy harms men. which is true! many of the societal issues faced by men stem from white supremacist patriarchy and restrictive gender roles and traditionally feminism has given thought and time to those issues. feminism is for everyone and it is concerned with men's struggles under patriarchy alongside women's.

but somewhere in the last few decades that attitude fell by the wayside and now popular online feminism is this radfem-flavored "all men are bad forever" thing. now mocking, belittling, or hating men is #feminist #praxis. it's feminist to make jokes about #killallmen. it's feminist to view masculinity as inherently bad and dangerous. it's feminist to talk about the men in your life like they're animals who need to be house trained, or emotionally stunted children who need to be babied and distracted.

it's this idea of flipping patriarchy on its head and saying that actually women are the Superior Gender, women deserve to run the world and make all the decisions, and actually it's men who are the Inferior Gender who can't be trusted or left unsupervised.

these attitudes will always have the most severe negative impact on marginalised men. i don't know how we got here but it's past time we circled back around to "feminism is for everyone".

[trans-androgyne]

omg you’re so right men are not dangerous to women at all so i guess i can totally go out alone at night all by myself and if i get raped by a man it will surely mean nothing and i should keep trusting men and think there is nothing wrong with them 😍😍😍

Trusting every strange man in the dark ≠ understanding that men aren’t ontologically evil, OR necessarily your personal oppressors, which is what I am saying. Women have literally killed or gotten killed men (especially men of color) that THEY have privilege over on some axes due their fear. So yeah, there is a way to fear men too much. This is how you get radical feminism. This is how you get TERFism. It feeds hate groups like MRAs to be genuinely hated for the way they were born. And it’s not how you progress actual intersectional feminism. To do that, you have to heal your relationship with men. I’ve been raped by men. I’ve been abused by men. But I understand that, while the societal conditions men are raised under (patriarchy, rape culture) contributed, it happened because they’re personally terrible people, not because they were born male. Acting like it is can lead you to dismiss the fact that women can pose just as much of a danger if they’re similarly terrible people. So, I’m working on healing my relationship with men. When you’re ready, you should too. I promise you it feels better than being uneasy for the rest of your life.

[mannerfeind-moving]

game's over go home everybody y'all are fucking unlovable nazi dickriders that deserve nothing aside from a gun between your eyes

[afusionoffandoms]

Thinking about how queerness in media is, with extremely few exceptions, portrayed as someone leaning towards femininity, and how much that trope hurts every single queer person who doesn't lean fem.

[gwemmieee]

I didn't realize how much it would help with my fear of men to just, like entertain the idea that men are people too in a big public post and then see a bunch of men reblog it with big thank yous. There's a certain innocence and happiness I used to have that certain masculine people took away from me that's starting to come back now.

I always assumed I would have to wait until I have the chance to meet a really good person who goes out of their way to keep me comfortable and befriend me who happens to be a man. And that's still kinda true. But these small online interactions are helping a lot 😊

And I like that I can still mix this happy innocence with all the new and really good techniques I've learned under duress around how to avoid future situations with bad men like the ones I've had.

[thatfeyboy]

I'm just so tired of holding up the concept of patriarchy. I'm so sick of pretending it is the focus of my problems. Yes some ancestor of mine or yours lived in and upheld this particular iteration of patriarchy. Yes some of our modern beliefs are part of or reactionary to that patriarchal ideal. Yet I have never lived in one. The vitriol and pain I have experienced is more generic, and also more personal, than "patriarchy" can describe. I am so so tired of having to include it in every conversation about gender, or when I read of it. The word is rarely used as it was made to be used, and more to describe the supposed role of men in a sexist world. The point of feminism, I thought, was to destroy such a concept. You have power as women, or as men(not to speak of nb people at the moment). Your ability to destroy and to be oppressed has pretty much equalized in a generic sense, or at least enough that a substantial amount of the population is in flux. Act like it. Wield that power and responsibility. I beg you. Androphobia regardless of the specific group is perpetuated by men AND women and does not always center around patriarchal ideals

(this is about the US, if you live elsewhere I am not claiming I know what type of system you live under. Even in the US, if you are actively living within a religious group that individual group is likely patriarchal)

[abearinthewoods]

Randomly thinking about how jk Rowling coded it in to the HP universe that the stairs to the girls dorms had a spell to keep boys out but not the inverse. Even having a character explain to Ron that its because the founders viewed boys as less trustworthy.

In retrospect given that it really shouldn't have been a surprise when she harpooned on about "men in dresses trying to invade women's spaces". She clearly sees sexual deviancy as a distinctly male trait.

[snortoborto]

I'm so over the victimhood complex of feminine cis women.

Gender diversity isn't a threat. Diversity in gender presentation isn't a threat.

Femininity is not equivalent to purity and innocence.

Femininity can still be harmful when enforced on people who don't want it. Women and feminine people can still do harm. Femininity can still be weaponized, especially white femininity.

[trans-wojak]

women online: *say men should be stripped of body autonomy, laugh at men’s suicide rates, say being attracted to men is flawed, make fun of them for behaviour that’s caused by being traumatised by male socialisation, pretend that women never contribute to toxic masculinity, think trans men are “better” than cis men cause deep down they still think we are really just females.* it’s just a joke lol

A singular man online: women are annoying lol

Women: DISGUSTING MISOGYNY!! YOU ARE LITERALLY CONTRIBUTING TO VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN!!!!1

[searchforananswer]

Absolutely Sickened. (Cw: transphobia)

Wow. Just wow.

So not only did my brother's disappearance barely merit one column in the back of our local newspaper, not only is this the first time our paper has mentioned it SINCE IT HAPPENED, but now they're referring to him in QUOTATION MARKS? They want to call him a poor misguided autistic girl so badly I can TASTE IT. Absolutely REPREHENSIBLE BEHAVIOR. And, sexual incongruence disorder? Are we fucking making words up now? I have never, ever, in my life, heard anyone refer to being trans as having "sexual incongruence disorder." What the fuck? Also, can we talk about the bit where they say that HRT makes you unstable, cause I have never fucking heard that in my life. I can tell you firsthand that Ryan was 1000% more moody and unstable BEFORE he started testosterone. Since then, he's been super chill. So this is blatantly wrong.

What's the penalty for committing an act of terror on a local government building? I have a few people at the Health Department who need to be introduced to my good friend Mr. Heat-Seeking Missile. REPEATEDLY.

-Rachel

[trans-androgyne]

People have been mocking me for advocating for trans men with “boohoo won’t someone please think of the men” sentiments. Make fun all you want, I will never, ever stop caring about trans men. Go for an insecurity next time, not what I’m proudest of. Trans men, I love you forever and you deserve better. Go ahead and call me a TMRA, since in the literal sense I sure am one

[nolanhattrick]

oh my god can trans men just be angry for ONCE without you fuckers being like "just calm down" or "just take a step back" or "take a deep breath" or "sounds like you need to remove yourself from the situation" tiktok therapy language combined with the idea that all masculinity is toxic masculinity has put us in a fucking chokehold and now i'm not even allowed to vent to my friends without being told that my anger is dangerous to myself and those around me and that those who have done me wrong are actually correct and morally superior please please please go fuck yourselves go fuck yourselves go fuck yourselves i hate all of you every single one of you that have fucking done this to us

[sirenium]

This started off as a multigender rant but includes other things, because I'm so pissed off at the queer community for these things that I need to fit it all in one post. Sit back and prepare for this, it's a long read (also feel free to scroll past) being multigender sucks because I feel too paradoxical to be taken seriously. It doesn't help that I'm also agender :/ Like yeah, identity is your own and you shouldn't shave off parts of it to appease others, but damn does the 'passive' hostility and invalidation towards multigender people such as myself make me feel pushed towards changing myself sometimes. You can scream into the void all you want about being normal about multigender people and how they label their experiences, but some people just... never will be. That's what it feels like, from the fucking queer community as well as cishet society. It sucks. I can never be comfortable to explore my womanhood because then my manhood and agenderhood will never be taken seriously. Hell, the fact that I simultaneously experience gender AND being genderless is enough for people to just shit on me and exile me from queer spaces. The fact that I prefer ze/hir and it/its and nounself pronouns is enough for people to call me one of the bad ones. AND, the fact that I am more comfortable being perceived as a man suddenly makes me a 'danger to women'. There are so many issues with how multigender people, neurodivergent queers (literally any kind of neurodivergent, not just the neopronoun xenogender autistic person), queer POC, the list goes on are treated; if you aren't a white woman god help you, god forbid you're a man in any way either. And don't even get me started about how aroace people are fucking treated. I could go on for another few paragraphs about how I, as someone who is aroace spec and a plethora of other things, don't feel safe sometimes. I could go on and on and on. And fuck it, I will (under the cut because this post is already comically long):

'Aroace is a spectrum' this, 'all aroaces are valid' that, until you're romance/sex oscillating or even favorable, until you're polyamorous, until you're also a lesbian or a gay person or m-spec. Even in the fucking aroace community you're held by some bar of being aroace enough, and if you diverge even slightly god forbid. Allo fictives of aroace characters, hell even those who are aroace in a different way, have to listen to the incessant whining of the 'stop making sexual/romantic fiction of this character! they're repulsed in canon!' crowd. It's fucking obnoxious. Aroace people are already not taken seriously, aroallos and alloaces are already not taken seriously, and then you have the clown parade of people forcing their own idea of what they want you to be down your throat. The queer community and its many facets feel so fucking unsafe at times, and that sucks because we're all we've got. Some people don't have supportive family or connections outside of online queer spaces, and this is what they get. It's so incredibly shitty. I don't feel aroace enough because of my experiences, despite also having very stereotypical aroace experiences. I feel forced to constantly be sex/romance averse at times because again, god forbid you're ever favorable. I have two partners, okay? I have partners who I don't necessarily 'love' but care about a lot, and then I have to come across things that erase the fact that I am quite often averse to sex and romance because of this fact! People like me are constantly erased, and when they're represented in fiction people throw a hissy fit. "Oh you're forcing an aroace character into allonormativity!" Hey asshole: maybe, just maybe, aroace people can date just as much as they aren't required to. Fucking. Jesus. Some community this is, for there to be so much exclusion and hatred and segregation.

[thatfeyboy]

Is something a privilege if you have to meet narrow, nie impossible standards to achieve it, and failure is met with being treated as subhuman?

[abearinthewoods]

If you assume me calling out misandry comes from a place of misogyny, well, I have a refurbished BenQ MS560 DLP to sell you.

Because that sounds like some projection.

[strewwwberry]

About to do a Rant on shen Jiu coz yeah, so ⚠️trigger warnings⚠️for, you know, him lol

(Additional tw please read beforehand even if its just a skim)

I personalize a lot of my writing to the viewer/reader, if you are someone who tends to input yourself into writing, whether purposely or not, please be aware that it may get uncomfortable or too personal to you, be aware of what you can read through and what is uncomfortable or you simply don’t like, stay safe ♡

Also apologies in advance if I project at all through this.

Shen Jiu's story has got to be one of the most tragic I've read, and not just for his slavery, abandonmet, sexual and physical abuse and then extortion after "freedom", and on top of that the old tale of the abused become the abuser. No, not just that, but because he was willing, he was 110% willing to ignore his feelings, brush aside his abuse an torture, everything, if Yue Qinguen just told him why he wasn't there, just gave him a reason, hell not even a reason, a goddam excuse to why he wasn't there.

He would've, he may not have been a good person even after the fact, actually I'd bet that he wouldn't be a "good person" at all. But, I belive that at the very least, it would've calmed his heart ENOUGH to not repeat the cycle of abuse, even If not for any reason but yue qingyuan.

Even as an adult he was still a child inside wanting the comfort of someone he trusted more than anything, and to be reassured that he wasn't abandoned, that his qi-ge was just late.

And to make it worse, he was, yue qingyuan was simply late. He pushed to hard to quickly, refused to ask for help, refused to explain, got himself in a deadly situation, was late and continued to not explain himself but instead give a look of pity and a stupid sorry every single time as if that changes anything.

Now to go into that, that look of pity. I can literally feel in my soul how fucking cruel that was to have done to Shen qingqiu. Imagine you make it out alive through being sold into slavery, abused in all ways possible, had to fight your way out because your one and only wasnt able to, got basically kidnapped and then further used, escaped THAT, and finally made it to a sect where you see your one and only, hoping that no he couldn't have left me... Did he? No he didnt abandon you, there must be a reason. But nothing, just pathetic apologies constantly. He must've thought himself above me, I'll prove him wrong. You make it to be a head disciple on your way to be a Peak Lord, an impeccable position and a near impossible accomplishment for an ex slave, and still nothing, just pity.

Then you finally get to the top, your on your way to Ascension, already immortal despite being too old to even cultivate when you started and your qi-system (whatever it's called) is absolutely wrecked (miracle you can even cultivate, an insane improbability to have made at to a golden core and immortality). But still, even after all you've been through and persevered through, pity, pity for a man who made it. Pity for a man who went through hell and still fucking made it.

I'm just saying, I'd be mad too.

But no, it doesn't end, of course it doesn't.

Your anger reaches a point unmanageable, you refuse to explain, no one explained anything to you and they won't listen anyway! refuse to try because what good could it do? No one will believe me anyway what's the point? Only friends are brothel ladies, who you pay to be with you, you get called a pervert and a lecher for caring for these woman and that girl disciple of yours who you take pride and comfort in. Are you a pervert and a lecher? Is that true? Only you really know.

And then this bastard kid she just had to point out.

Shen Jiu, refused to acknowledge his REAL flaws and blamed everyone else for everything even when it truly does end up his fault. What. Is he just supposed to deny or admit anything? Of course not! Let them belive whatever the hell they want, I've always acted this way making me seem untrustworthy and because they're hypocrites they wont try to find out why anyway, and I'm always the victim.

Which he was for a long time.

But then he wasn't, not really no, still a victim or course, but right now, with his standing and power?

and then even though they were in the wrong, his refusal to try (understandable but still) was his own choice, his refusal to at least get along with them, not start fights, not ostracize and critisize in the form of snide commentary. No one made him did that, he was traumatized and a child, yes, so was it understandable? Of course! Was it still his own actions that even as an adult he refused to stop, let alone apologize for, even if not literally apologizing? Yes, yes it was.

And then a child. Whose had it rough. Maybe not (yet) as rough as you, but rough. And then to abuse that kid, torture and isolate that child become he was so lucky to have had a mother? A mother who, although still his mother, wasn't even blood? And because his eyes reflected that of a monster, his name reminding you of your abuser just like how your own now does to. hes too much like me, that look just can't be humane, he must be a monster. And you know what you were right he was a half demon child. But not even a demon deserved to be pushed into the abyss to die, no child not even a demon child deserved what you but him through.

That is not how that works. You hand him over to the water prison and figure it out, because the laws are fucked but at least that's something then just acting how you think is right even when you know its not. But no you had to, because what would they say, harboring a monster, you must be one to.

Then on top of all that, you swore to yourself that once you got your peak Lord name, you'd bury your past like you literally just spawned in the moment it's given. And then failed to bury it. Because life isn't that easy. But for once you just wish it was. You wanted to kill that child, so for the one that reminds you to much of yourself? You'll kill that one instead.

Shen jiu doesn't deserve excuses, hell he doesn't even want people to make excuses for him, not for himself and not from anyone else (except if that excuse Is qi-ge giving him so much as "I got caught up drinking my hella fancy tea, I dint mean to leave you there") .

But he was tragic.

He was human, so very human. A human playing the part of a trancendial being. A human boy in the appearance of someone untouchable and inconceivable.

Playing this act means no one can use nor abuse you.

Now, no one can hurt you,

Not anymore.

...

But they still did