#multigender

[genderqueerdykes]

i feel like it's really important to point out some really transphobic and dangerous rhetoric that we've just accepted as the norm in online queer spaces.

if you believe that in order for a trans man to talk about their experiences with trans manhood, they must also talk about how bad trans women have it or else they're being transmisogynistic, you're being transphobic. these are two separate conversations and not all trans men can accurately tell you what trans women go through. not all trans women can accurately tell you what trans men go through, either. you can't expect someone to have every conversation about transness at once when they are just trying to give anecdotes about their personal lived experiences. trans men are allowed to talk about trans manhood as much as they need to... that's their lived experience.

expecting one side to talk about how the other has it worse in every conversation they have about themselves is hostile behavior. it's not holding trans women down for a trans man to talk about their experience with trans manhood and don't mention how bad other queer people have it. those are separate conversations. don't expect trans women to have to bring up the struggles trans men have in order to talk about their own experiences, and don't do this to any other group of queer person, either. don't do it to anyone. it's okay to have one conversation at a time. not every conversation can represent every single group of queer person at once, nor should they have to.

there's a time and a place for all of these conversations. there is just as much time to be had having conversations about trans womanhood as there is trans manhood. it's okay to have these conversations separately at the same time. it's alright for someone to only comment on what they know. it's not great to force people to comment on experiences they don't understand because it leads to misrepresentation. let trans men talk about their experiences with trans manhood without expecting them to talk about a bunch of other queer identities, too. you don't have to drown out the voices of trans men in order to lift someone else up. we can have these conversations, separately, at once.

[canary0]

It also puts trans people in a position where we can't discuss how our upbringing that attempted to enforce stereotypical roles on us affected us. There is a discussion to be had about how I, despite being nonbinary trans masc, absorbed those lessons of keeping my head down and not making waves that come with being raised in a binary hegemony. It means that many people deny any aspects they may have absorbed from their upbringing because to acknowledge it brings shame and the idea that acknowledging it means they're not trans enough. They're important discussions to have to heal and become ourselves, whatever that might look like.

idk, I feel like almost every single discussion, theory, words of support, or even mention of transness is just for monogender people. people claim to support those who don't meet rigid binary standards but the only trans people that seem to actually matter are the binary trans man and the binary trans woman. with the genderless nonbinary person mentioned sometimes when it's relevant. the binary is what people base their worldview on, their discussions of systemic oppression. there's no room for us multigender people anywhere because we either contradict their ideas or we're just not included because it's inconvenient to fit us anywhere in their theory. men and women are not opposites. there is not just man, woman, and neither (people who you categorize as basically man or woman depending on their association with gendered oppression). some of us are both and you need to consider us when discussing these sorts of things

[bishopsqueerblog]

Good morning mspecs.

Good morning bigays, gaybis, lesgays and gaylesbians! Hetgays, gayhets, queerhets and hetqueers! I love you

Good morning to every single mspec or “contradictory” label-using person. I hope you’re all having a good morning or whatever time it is for you.

I hope nobody bothers you with stupid questions or stupider discourse. I hope you feel as loved and accepted as you deserve

This account will always be a safe space for any kind of queer, even the “contradictory” kinds.

This goes also to lesboys, trans male/man/masc lesbians. To multigender queers who feel excluded from their own communities. I love you all, and I hope you keep your heads up. You deserve to have pride and take up space. You deserve to be here too.

Take care today <3

[watcherw0rld]

my gender is whatever makes you more mad btw

[bored-boring-and-tired]

i propose that instead of pride month, we have queer year (queer people are treated like actual people all year long)

edit: @ilackhumanqualities wins best addition to this post

[michaelmilkers]

"can men be lesbians?" bestie in 100 countries women can't be lesbians is this really the most pressing issue rn

[silly-media-enjoyer]

Image Description: The "I bring a sort of X vibe to X that X don't really like" edited to say "I bring a sort of all these rules are made up vibe to sexuality and gender that exclusionists don't really like"

[somethingmissingthiswaycomes]

Not everyone who is a woman is a non-man, and not everyone who is a man is a non-woman. Some people's genders aren't non-anything. Sit on that and nurture it and let it hatch and grow up to be a healthy worldview love and peace on planet earth

[castielfucks]

theres actually no rules to transitioning and youre allowed to want contradictory things for your transition. it's fine if you only want some of the changes that come with hrt and take preventative measures for the rest (like wanting bottom growth but not body hair or vice versa). you can want to have vagina AND a dick. you can be a woman and want top surgery, or wear a packer. you can be a man and want to have a pussy. you can change your transition goals one or a million times or not have any goals at all and just take things as they come or as they feel right.

there are no rules.

[boreal-sea]

Shoutout to the folks who wish they could be feminine the way men are feminine, and shoutout to the folks who wish they could be masculine the way women are masculine.

[genderqueerdykes]

if you are made too feel too weird or "too queer" for a given queer space, i think that's a pretty big red flag that it's not a very open or safe space, and they're not as good of a queer space as they feel they are. only focusing on "mainstream" or "common" identities when it comes to building queer spaces helps no one. in my college's pride group, even when it was small, there were people there identifying as things like transfem agender people, multigender people, and genderfluid people. it's not that much of a stretch to include "less common" identities, you don't have to sacrifice anything in order to include queers with "Weird" identities. nobody should ever be considered "too queer"

[queerbatting]

people need to realize that dissolving the lines between gender also means dissolving the lines between sexuality. you cannot say gender is fake and then say sexuality is strict and rigid.

there are multigender/genderfluid people who are lesbians and gay men at the same time. there are mspec lesbians/gays/straights who have a complex relationship with gender and their sexuality. there are gay men who are women and lesbians who are men because male isn't the opposite of female.

"conflicting" labels are a part of many people's queer experience, because the human experience isnt simple enough to be put into neat perfect categories. if you truly support trans/genderqueer people, you need to accept the fact that gender and sexuality is complex and there will be people whose identities you don't understand

[halestonehyena]

why have us queer people as a community normalized terms like "boygirl" or "girlboy" or other things like that but not like. the actual experience of being multigender. i swear some people will be like "ahaha its so cool and swag to be a #girlboy #boygirl" then turn around and be like "MEN DNI THIS POST IS ABOUT WOMEN" "MEN CANT BE LESBIANS (because no man is ever a woman too)" etc etc like come on guys

EDIT: i added an entire rant about this here

[identitty-dickruption]

the multigender and nonbinary communities NEED to get better at listening to intersex people. intersex people are not “biologically nonbinary”. intersex people do not exist as a gotcha for debates about gender and sex. not all intersex people are “both” male and female. non-intersex people can’t identify as intergender. please consider us when you talk about your identities

[womanman]

“We need more weird queer people” Y’all can’t handle 90% of the ways multigenders label their sexualities

[bored-boring-and-tired]