#and actually same for cis people

[castielfucks]

theres actually no rules to transitioning and youre allowed to want contradictory things for your transition. it's fine if you only want some of the changes that come with hrt and take preventative measures for the rest (like wanting bottom growth but not body hair or vice versa). you can want to have vagina AND a dick. you can be a woman and want top surgery, or wear a packer. you can be a man and want to have a pussy. you can change your transition goals one or a million times or not have any goals at all and just take things as they come or as they feel right.

there are no rules.

[biracy]

I can't remember if I've posted abt this before but regardless: I'm sorry but I really and truly cannot get behind the idea that there is any wide-scale societal "pressure for trans men to be feminine" or "to be twinks" or whatever. You are either conflating a very small online community's beauty standard (usually some kind of transmasc pseudo-appropriation of "femboy" aesthetics, which yes, are often Bad and regressive and fetishized and etc.) with Mainstream Society, or confusing society not wanting trans men to transition with "wanting trans men to be feminine", which are certainly not the same thing. Ultimately if a cis person believes there is any validity to the concept of being trans (i.e. not a Posie Parker-esque "there's no such thing as a trans person" type), they are more likely to think that trans men should be like as masc and buff and hairy as possible or whatever bc that's what cis people think men look like and it's easier for a lot of people to recognize someone who Looks Masc as a man. It is difficult sometimes to see derision of trans guys who are Too Feminine and Not Hairy Enough or whatever (which is not always something someone has control over btw) as anything but "this is Skye who I think is a confused little girl because Skye does not pass" slightly restyled for 2023 "filthcore fagdykes" or whatever lol

[kirkwallguy]

okay final post. i think part of the reason why i hated taash's story so much is i DID find it relatable, they remind me a lot of myself at sixteen: coming out as a teenager and being extra sensitive to anyone who doesn't immediately understand you and lashing out at your well-meaning but uninformed parents is pretty common. shathann dying before this is resolved and taash realising they were needlessly cruel out of fear of rejection COULD have been heartbreaking and an actual good way of pushing the regret theme, but this isn't what happens lol. taash acting the way they do could be fine, i like it when a character has flaws and an exploration of how messy coming out as trans is would be an interesting subversion of how fucking boring coming out stories become when you reach a certain age, but the fact that rook can't really tell them to cut it out and the fact that they have literally no reflection or regret beyond "i wish my mum and i had had more time together but at least she didn't misgender me as she died 👍🏻" makes it feel as though the writers actually think them treating their mum the way they do is somehow satisfying or good, because the game's narratives feel like they were spat out of an ai trained solely on reddit aita posts. and that isn't even getting into the multicultural angle which needs a whole essay by itself and i've already annoyed myself too much for one morning.

[snekdood]

notice how when you hear about all these rich white men in high positions of power doing heinous shit, none of them end up being trans men or mascs 🤔 but surely we're just as privileged as any other cis guy right?

[corviddusk]

Hey by the way if you think intersex people have it easier or that you as a perisex trans person can ever lay claim to the experiences of medicalized violence starting from infancy, the consistent brutalization for your natural body, the fact it's labeled a deformity when it's NORMAL, and the entire queer community using you as a gotcha to conservatives who love mutilating us you need to get the fuck over yourself and understand that transness isn't the only form of oppression in the world.

You will NEVER be like us. We have similarities yes, but you aren't intersex, you don't have possible health complications that come with some intersex conditions, you don't have ambiguous genitalia by nature, your transition isn't made deeply dangerous because a doctor didn't check your hormone levels and you were on so much it was actively possible to kill one of your organs, you haven't been forcibly mutilated as a kid (unless you were during things like trafficking in which case holy fuck I am so sorry. You're not alone), you haven't experienced being scared and confused when your body did puberty wrong, it doesn't take years to figure out what you even are and why your body is so wrong to everyone.

I'm sorry but if you throw a tantrum over the term Perisex you're just the same as any bigot. It's like throwing a tantrum over being called abled or sane or rich when you physically are those things because you feel left out of a club that is being brutalized by society and facing struggles you never have.

I've tried to be more gentle about this for a while but I genuinely cannot stand the amount of trans perisex people who just brutalize my siblings and myself and expect me to be the nice civil "one of the good ones". I am not any of those things. You need to wake the fuck up and accept you aren't the end all be all of oppression other forms of oppression exist. I'm sorry being intersex is nothing to do with transness it's a separate thing y'all are fucking weird for trying to pretend you "become basically intersex" no the fuck you don't.

[aq2003]

Can I dump on you some fandom musings? So I’m a fairly new Tennant fan and I’m not all up to the whole lore, but it was my impression just from the general fandom chat that there is some ambiguity when it comes to DT and sexual/gender topics. Like, many fans seem to think or jokingly imply at least that he’s either not all straight or not all cis, and it can assume many forms, from fans who clearly just hate his wife and want him with Michael Sheen to fulfill their fanfic dreams to fans who want to self-identify with him to the max, like if they’re gay/bi or not cis themselves they would like DT to be somewhere on that spectrum himself. The latter is at least understandable to me, unless it goes overboard into actually imposing on him this preferred identity and getting mean if the reality disagrees, the former is straight out delusional thinking mixed with undisguised misogyny, imo.

What I get from the source himself though, after reading up a bit, observing for about a year and listening to the latest podcasts, is this: I can’t see how anyone can realistically assume that he is not straight. Lol. Like, if we listen to the man himself and see what is publicly available, he’s as cookie cutter straight as dudes go. I mean, his first crush was Madonna for god’s sake (and he said this before, not just in the podcast, in case some people want to invoke the so-called PR). And his three known girlfriends (known to me, but at least they’re actual acknowledged girlfriends, not tabloid suggestions) are: Anne-Marie Duff, Sophia Myles and Georgia. All three could convincingly play sisters lol. Or, with good make-up – Madonna. The man clearly has a type (nothing to be ashamed of) and his type is that of about 90% straight dudes: petit blonds. There’s just no ambiguity here if we don’t engage imagination or rumors, all of which could be 100% fan made.

It’s a bit harder to judge when it comes to the cis topic. Mostly because it’s something that only the subjects themselves can acknowledge or not, there are no outside factors that can serve as a definitive ‘proof’. But here we have his preferred pronouns, which are he/him.

Mostly, my conclusion is that in all these fan speculations, whether malicious or totally benign, there’s a lot of latent/internalized homophobia, even if fans themselves are gay/not cis/genuinely progressive. Because after checking available facts I can’t really see where these assumptions about DT could come from other than him going against many gender/straightness stereotypes of so-called toxic masculinity. And many fans who genuinely think they don’t have these ingrained stereotypes and even fight against them, actually do have them as it turns out. DT fits a lot of those not-straight stereotypes, like his love of colourful clothes, his many close friendships with women and gay people, his love of camp, of course his support for LGBTQ+ people for many years, even his physical attributes: thinness, gracefulness, delicate features, his damn manner of sitting… The amount of gender envy he invokes, his whole non-toxic deal.

Many things. Lots of tiny green flags for not straight and/or not homophobic people, which in fact shouldn’t add up to form ANY conclusion about his actual sexuality/gender expression, but somehow still do. I could’ve understood this in so-called tinhatters because they seem generally insane and malicious, but I realize that quite often I see it even from normal fans, even if expressed in mostly playfully suggestive ways that you can’t really pin down as statements of fact, but which still impose a particular identity on a living person who never admitted such identity and in fact stated the opposite several times, both in word and in deed.

It’s not the worst thing that could happen of course. But I personally wouldn’t want to impose an identity (or question their clearly stated identity) on a real human, even if it would be comforting for me personally, and it’s exactly what this suggestive attitude from the fandom made me do when I first started to get into DT (through Much Ado). I actually thought he was an out bisexual, and may be a non-binary person, because fans were very suggestive in this area as well. It’s actually when I saw that he stated his preferred pronouns in the Macbeth program, when I learned that it was never stated otherwise before, and I started digging for what else wasn’t true.

It’s just that I don’t think it’s OK to impose sexuality/gender on a real person based solely on vibes, even if playfully and in a benign way, it’s my little pet peeve. Because if we do that, logically we can deny gay people their sexuality as well (vibe check failed) or disbelieve trans people who pass insufficiently for us…

Sorry about writing a whole essay, it’s because English is not my native language and I can’t be concise and efficient when trying to make a point. I like your art and general style, so I decided to dump it all on you, sorry.

first off thank you for liking my art i grow at least 10 times in power whenever someone compliments it dhdgwhwjw soon i might be able to draw a background on my own

i think where more of the well-meaning ppl come from is that one interview w arabella weir where he said that people assuming he's not straight doesn't bother him, which i feel like is a pretty healthy mindset for someone to have (especially in 2008) bc it helps takes away the stigma around queerness in that it's not something to be afraid of being labeled as. but then also you can tell even from the brief description arabella gives of her friends' attitudes that the reason people kept assuming he was gay was bc of some really toxically masculine/homophobic attitudes so ...idk lmao. i never really gave it a ton of thought. for me at least i just take him at his word and i don't look into it or make any more assumptions bc i don't know him. like his dating history or whatever matters a lot less than him outright saying "i'm an ally not an active participant"

[waspgrave]

it's really interesting being The Office Gay at my job because all the women there will be talking about how useless and annoying their husbands are until I need something done that 'traditionally' a man might do (fixing car, moving objects around, plumbing, etc) because then they're all volunteering their suddenly very skilled men to do work for me and my wife. I have so many part-time husbands on standby

[mantisgodsdomain]

Now that we are being followed by people, we need to make some thoughts and opinions clear so that people are not later Shocked And Disgusted or whatever by thoughts we have held for many years. We think it's weird and also bad to treat queer people like they're a different species from cishet people, and we think that treating things like Having A Sexuality makes a character better than if they have a different sexuality is bad no matter what way you put it.

We also think that, if in your setting queer folks are widely accepted and straight isn't a "default", it may be worth noting that, say, a straight woman might need just as much self-discovery to work out she's straight that a lesbian does nowadays. In the same manner that, in Ace Attorney, Larry Butz needs to tell Phoenix that no matter how many photos of handsome men he shows him, he's tried, he's just not attracted to men,

[buggbuzz]

my gender is like meat leaf i think. boy materials in the structure of girl. like im a girl made out of boy things but not in a transman way like i like being female im just. a girl-leaning boygirl. maybe??

[pricegouge]

at some point I need to ramble about price calling his transmasc!partner mama/mommy/etc cuz I’m projecting and my breeding kink is off the charts rn😮‍💨

-🫀

look as a card carrying nb/borderline trans masc that almost exclusively writes for femme readers and does definitely need that man to call me mama.......

i hear you babe. very valid.

[orcelito]

Like OK so I've been reading a fic with trans wolfwood in it that is so. HONEST. About how it affected him and still affects him. In a way that's very much not an average cis writer portrayal of a trans character.

Like. Either this writer is trans or did plenty of research, but it just feels REAL to me. And it has me thinking about my own way of writing trans Wolfwood.

I'm not there yet. But I've been thinking about it. The ways that what the EOM did fucked him up... but it also acted as HRT that affirmed his gender. So what do you do when you're in a body you don't recognize, but looks much more like a man than ever before? There's some gender euphoria in a way, but dysphoria at the same time bc you didn't grow into this. You didn't watch yourself transition. Suddenly you just Were this, and it's not you, but also it's nice to finally be seen as a man, but it also feels wrong to feel grateful for any part of what they did to you...

On and on and on

You see? This is what I want to think about with him. This is why trans Wolfwood is so compelling to me. It's just so Complicated, he'd have such Complicated feelings about his body and the way he lives with it. He learns this new body, it starts to feel more like his, but he also mourns the fact that he didn't get to watch it grow into this like he should've.

That kind of thing.

[kraviolis]

im god's strongest soldier bcus i've been headcanoning luz as a trans girl since before we even knew she was canonically bi

[rising-phnx]

my school friends are curious about what being on t is like and I really want to say "yeah, my dick is getting bigger" but that's sooo tmi and I don't want to weird them out