#and so it goes when ur writing about an experience that is not entirely your own.
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orcelito · 1 year ago
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Like OK so I've been reading a fic with trans wolfwood in it that is so. HONEST. About how it affected him and still affects him. In a way that's very much not an average cis writer portrayal of a trans character.
Like. Either this writer is trans or did plenty of research, but it just feels REAL to me. And it has me thinking about my own way of writing trans Wolfwood.
I'm not there yet. But I've been thinking about it. The ways that what the EOM did fucked him up... but it also acted as HRT that affirmed his gender. So what do you do when you're in a body you don't recognize, but looks much more like a man than ever before? There's some gender euphoria in a way, but dysphoria at the same time bc you didn't grow into this. You didn't watch yourself transition. Suddenly you just Were this, and it's not you, but also it's nice to finally be seen as a man, but it also feels wrong to feel grateful for any part of what they did to you...
On and on and on
You see? This is what I want to think about with him. This is why trans Wolfwood is so compelling to me. It's just so Complicated, he'd have such Complicated feelings about his body and the way he lives with it. He learns this new body, it starts to feel more like his, but he also mourns the fact that he didn't get to watch it grow into this like he should've.
That kind of thing.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#tagging it bc these r things relevant to itnl ww. because. he is trans☺️#TRANS WOLFWOOD MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!#i wanna do more research into trans things. ive already done a lot. but like#into the actual physical side of it all. the effects of HRT. all those messy little details that people dont often focus on.#some months ago i skimmed thru this writing guide on how to write trans men. and i think i wanna revisit it#read it more slowly and thoroughly.#bc im confident in my ability to write trans characters. considering the fact that im not cis myself.#but im not a trans man. so there r some Things that i just dont know about by virtue of not having experience with HRT#so. research! supplementing my existing knowledge with the perspectives of the actual people im writing about.#and so it goes when ur writing about an experience that is not entirely your own.#it matters to me to make my writing of trans men as realistic as possible.#even with the messy details that people normally shy away from. Especially them.#i pride myself on my realism as much as is within my means of capturing it.#realistic emotions. realistic reactions. realistic bodies.#i am Going to write a trans wolfwood that is So realistic. as much as possible.#(i keep specifying ww with this even tho vash is trans also just bc vash is a bit more uhhhh not human lol#so the definition of what makes him trans is a bit more loose. still inferred by real life experiences#but he wouldnt have the same sorts of experiences with HRT. or gender expression in general#so i feel less of a pressure to capture it as fully accurate to the real life human experience as possible. if that makes sense.)
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sungstars · 4 months ago
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fall off. | pjs x fem!reader
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i.e your boyfriend is so shy and you have so much fun making him flustered!
content warning: smut! (18+ only, mdni!!), oral (f. rec), fingering (f. rec), implied dom!sung sorta… established relationship!
word count: 1.6k (not proof read sawri)
author's note: this is entirely based off of that tiktok sound that goes "come here bae come sit next to me come and take ur draws off damn u on the edge of the bed u about to fall off!" i had sososos much fun writing this :3 i love freaky shy jisung! likes & reblogs are very appreciated and i hope u guys enjoy reading this!! also i finished this before the hurricane hits because i have nothing better to do for the next few hours LOL... will try to get some more stuff out over the next few days!
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"come sit next to me," you patted the empty space on your bed as you looked across at your boyfriend, jisung, "why are you so nervous?"
jisung was gripping his jeans so hard his knuckles were turning white and ears flushed fiery red, "oh. i'm okay right here. thanks."
his words were coming out very strained and jisung couldn't even bring himself to look at you, "it's really warm in here."
"you are wearing jeans and a hoodie, as well as a long sleeve shirt underneath it," you replied, leaning back against your pillows and extending your legs out, "you could take them off."
jisung's voice got caught in his throat, face turning beet red, "all of it?"
you giggled, poking his side gently with your foot, "sure. make sure you take your underwear off too."
it took everything in you to not bust into laughter at your boyfriend, and it took everything in jisung to try not to implode from embarrassment.
jisung was by no means a virgin, he had a plethora of sex before the two of you started dating. there was just something about you that made him so nervous to be intimate with you.
you had your fair share of make out sessions, always ending up with you in his lap and sucking dark hickeys into his neck, but anytime the two of you tried to do more, he just froze up and couldn't.
of course you never made him feel bad about it. you found it endearing and cute how nervous he was. even when jisung mentioned that he never had this issue before, you didn't get upset. you were so understanding.
"jisung," you sat up on your elbows, "come back to me. you started wondering off in your little world again."
he muttered out a quick sorry, starting to fan his face gently to calm down this heat in his face. you watched him in adoration, smiling because he was just too cute when he was flustered.
however, your head tilted in concern when you saw how far off the bed he was, "sung, you're about to fall off of the bed."
"oh. didn't even notice." he scratched the back of his head, adjusting his positioning on the bed, leaning against the wall, "sorry."
the two of you fell into a silence, comfortable for you, but awkward for jisung. you stretched your legs out to lay across his lap as you rested against the pillows again and closing your eyes.
jisung didn't know what to do or say. he's been in your room before, so he's not sure why he feels so. . . hot. the temperature isn't too high, and he's been in physical contact with you.
he really wants to get more physical, to make you feel good and fall apart from pleasure that he knows he can inflict upon you. there was just. . . something that made him nervous about doing it. maybe he didn't want to disappoint you because unlike other people he's slept with, you are a constant presence in his life.
and also, most of the people he's slept with were drunk freshman year experiences.
he just needed to stop thinking about the what ifs. jisung needed to stop thinking in general, he just needed to do it. he was more than capable of doing these things to you.
"stop thinking." he told himself as he looked at your legs across his lap, drumming his fingers against them, "just do it."
"fuck it, we ball." he squeezed his eyes shut before adjusting himself to stand on his knees, pushing your legs gently to stand between them.
your eyes fluttered open, looking up at your boyfriend who had an unreadable expression on his face, "everything okay, ji?"
jisung nodded, his hands coming up to unzip his hoodie before shrugging it off and tossing it behind him, "y-yeah."
you smiled up at him, gazing at his defined arms before finding his eyes again, "you look handsome."
his cheeks turned a rosy pink which caused him to mentally curse because he just got that hue to leave his face, "you look pretty. you always do."
"what's on your mind?"
with a strong exhale through his nose, jisung pushed all of these nervous thoughts that returned down and pressed his lips against yours.
a surprised noise escaped you, but you brought your arms to wrap around his neck and kissing him back. one of his hands brought your leg to his hip, pressing his growing erection into you and causing you to part your lips slightly.
jisung took his opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth and you gently tugged on the nape of his hair. a moan escaped the man above you, causing you to pull on it again to get another noise out of him.
his hands began to wonder between the two of you, starting to travel underneath the material of your camisole, fingers dancing lightly against the expanse of your stomach.
the boy pulled away from you slightly, his lips slightly swollen and eyes full of desire, "can i. . .can i touch you, y/n?"
"of course you can, ji." you said softly, hands rubbing up and down his chest, "you can do whatever you want."
he gently pushed your shirt up until it reached your collarbones, breath hitching when he saw that you weren't wearing a bra.
you watched him for a moment, wondering if he would touch you or get flustered and pull your shirt back down over your tits.
instead, he caught you by surprise and leaned down to suck one of your nipples into his mouth while rolling the other one around between his fingers.
a noise of pleasure escaped you, bringing your hands up to his hair to pull on it once more.
jisung switched between your tits constantly, making sure to show them an equal amount of attention before removing them from his mouth and continuing to kiss down your stomach.
the cold air coming into contact with your now hard nipples caused you to whimper, jisung looking up at you with concern.
"are you okay? should i stop?" he asked, pulling himself up to check on you, which you quickly stopped by pushing his head back down.
"i'm fine, perfect actually," you flashed a reassuring smile at him, "continue, please."
he nodded, beginning to kiss your stomach once more, his hands moving their way up to your shorts.
jisung gently dipped his fingers into your waistband, slowly starting to pull them down to your hips.
his lips followed behind, kissing over the hibiscus tattoo that began to fade after years without a touch up, grazing his teeth over the skin lightly.
“no panties?” he murmured against your skin, biting down harshly, “hah. . . it’s like you planned this.”
you smiled mischeviously at the boy between your thighs, threading your hand through his hair, "wishful thinking."
"don't think," he said in between kisses, pulling your shorts down your thighs and over your ankles, tossing them behind him, "just focus on me."
jisung grabbed one of your legs, adjusting himself before placing your knee over his shoulder and attaching his lips to your inner thighs.
you felt your heartrate pick up, nervous at what was to come next. you talked a big game because you didn't actually think anything would come from teasing jisung.
his lips traveled closer to your core, but instead focused on sucking light marks into your skin. jisung wanted to see how desperate you could get for him, even though he wanted nothing more but to taste.
"ji," you whined out, tugging on his hair harshly, "don't be a fuckin' tease. you were just acting like a virgin who's never even touched a girl before."
annoyance crept up on jisung, rolling his eyes in disbelief. there was no way he was gonna let you talk to him like that when you both know he is far from a virgin.
"talking a lot for somebody who wants to be touched," he muttered back, using two of his fingers to spread your lips open and admiring how glistening your cunt was, "she's practically drooling for him."
your face flushed at how vulgar he was, but oh you were eating it up on the inside. this is exactly what you wanted, jisung to snap and show you how nasty he was under that shy boy exterior, "then do something about it."
jisung ignored your comment, blowing air on you cunt to make you shut up. he was going to get you to beg, no matter how long it took or how much he desired to lick you clean, "ask nicely."
"i'm not asking for shit," you spat, faux irritation escaping you, "we both know you wanna eat it anyway."
you got him there, he couldn't lie. however, he knew what game you were playing, and he decided to give in, "you're right."
a victorious look on your face quickly contorted to one of pleasure when jisung wrapped his plush lips around your clit.
a high pitched whine left your lips when his teeth gently grazed your bundle of nerves before letting his tongue lick down your slit.
your grip in his hair tightened when you felt his tongue move skillfully as he teased your hole with one of his fingers. the one wrapped around your thigh began digging crescents into your skin, the boy between your legs moaning into your cunt.
"fuck ji," you breathed out when his finger slid into you, gently pumping in and out, "fuck it feels so good."
the boy pulled away for a moment, looking up at you with your juices glossing his lips and dripping down his chin, "good because i don't plan on stopping anytime soon."
END
pt. 2 ???
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mixedandfurious · 6 months ago
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Logan Howlett (Wolverine) NSFW Alphabet
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Pure Smut, 18+ Minors DNI!
A/N: My first piece of writing on here so I’m gonna keep it basic🤭 Ofc I had to go with everyone’s obsession…WOLVIEEEEE! Lemme know what you guys think! Enjoy my lovelies😏
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A - Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Mr. Howlett here is a green flag in that he accommodates to his partner’s needs. If you prefer to cuddle after sex, be prepared to stay in Logan’s arms for hours on end. Hungry? Well your man’s already up and grabbing you your favourite snacks and comfort foods.
Let’s not forget the bare minimum where he makes sure to clean you up and remind you how well you did. He reassures you and focuses his entire attention on you because he’s so grateful that he gets to have you to himself (Words of affirmation GALORE!) He may be a hardcore, grouchy man to the world but he’s a total sweetheart for his favourite person🥰
B - Body Part (Fav body part of themselves and their partner)
As much as he struggles with his claws he actually really loves his hands (at least with you). In the beginning of your relationship Logan expressed his hardships with his claws and how he lacks control over them when he gets riled up. This caused him to limit how much he touched you during sex (preferred to eat you out rather than finger you, or grab the headboard when he was about to cum instead of holding onto your hips). But overtime your reassuring words and your trust in him won (plus he couldn’t say no to you begging him to fill you up with his fingers).
Logan is in love with the entirety of your being but if he HAAAAD to choose he’d say that your lips and neck are a heavenly gift. This man is OBSESSED with your lips to a point where he can suck and bite on them for hours on end. He loves making out with you and more importantly, he loves to see those lips wrapped around his cock as you take him in as far as you can. Your neck is a whole other ball game though🫣 You already know this man is like an animal so you can imagine how much he enjoys leaving his scent on you. He makes sure to leave marks on your neck before you leave the house (after all everyone must know you’re taken). He loves to hear the sound of your pulse and how much it speeds up when he scents you. And when he’s reaching the finish line you better believe he’ll bury his face in your neck and growl deeply as he prepares to fill you up with his load.
C - Cum
Simply put, your man cums a lot. And where does he enjoy releasing it? Inside of you of course. Sure he may occasionally release on your chest or in your mouth (maybe even on ur ass cheeks if he’s taking you from behind 👀) but ultimately, he goes feral watching his cum pool out of your pussy.
D - Dirty Secret (Any dirty secret of theirs)
We all know that massages can lead to some filthy moments right? This obviously applies to Logan too. The catch, however, is that sometimes instead of using lotion or oil to massage out the knots in ur back he’ll use his cum instead🫣 Let me paint a picture for you real quick:
You’re lying on your stomach fully naked with Logan straddling you from behind. He begins gliding his calloused hands up and down your back and after 20 minutes or so he finally snaps and begins to massage your ass. At this point he’s hard as a rock and is leaking with precum. Eventually he takes his leaking juices and spreads it on your back to help his hands glide easily. The idea of his cum absorbing into your skin and his scent mixing with yours has him feeling extremely possessive and proud. He usually ends up lifting your hips and having his way with you.
E - Experience (How experienced are they?)
The man’s old af okay🤣 He has EXPERIENCE! Though it is to be noted that he’s very particular about who he sleeps with. He obviously has trust issues and this applies to who he’s willing to share his body with. Yes, he’s animalistic and enjoys having sex often. But he would rather have a lot of sex with a trusting partner than have meaningless sex with a handful of random people that he happens to come across.
Don’t worry love, he knows how to show you a good time and he’s YOUR personal whore🤭
F - Favourite Position
He loves to take you while you’re on all fours but his favourite position is missionary. He loves to watch your reactions as he plays with your body in different ways. Remember how I mentioned that he loves your lips? Well missionary is the best way for him to abuse your lips with his mouth and watch you suck on his fingers while he rocks into you.
You can also find yourself getting fucked against the wall on occasion because he just loves how his body and the wall traps you, leaving you at his mercy.
G - Goofy (How serious are they during sex?)
Logan can get serious at times especially when he fucks you after one of his nightmares or when he’s had a rough day. But for the most part he’s a mix of passionate and a tease. Typically the silliness comes from you when you crack a lighthearted joke which has Logan shaking his head and chuckling before he goes back to devouring you.
Eg.
Logan: Whose pussy is this?
You: Mine…
Logan: …You’re gonna be the death of me bub. Let’s try that again. Whose pussy is this?
H - Hair (How well groomed are they?)
Oh he’s hairy everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE! He definitely tries to trim his pubes a little bit to make it easier for you when you suck him off. But other than that you gotta take him as he is.
As a side note, Logan doesn’t really care if you shave or not. So don’t even stress about anything with him. The man is obsessed with you regardless.
I - Intimacy (Romantically how are they during sex?)
He is so passionate about you and never takes you for granted. He counts his lucky stars that he gets the privilege to worship your body whenever he wants and his actions during sex are evident of that. Even if he’s having rough, jealous sex with you he makes sure to praise you and give you loving kisses along the way. His life has never been easy and he always struggled with finding trustworthy people in his life. So just know that the fact that you made your way into his heart, he’s going to spend an eternity showing you how special you are to him.
(Just make sure you reassure him as well from time to time)
J - Jerk Off (How often do they masturbate?)
Despite his animalistic urges, he actually has a lot of self control. As much as he loves sex he prefers to cum when you’re with him. So when you’re away for a while he’ll just busy himself with other things until you get back and help him out.
That being said, he’s not opposed to sexting or phone sex so do with that information as you will🤭
K - Kink (What are their kinks?)
This man is obsessed with your breasts. It doesn’t matter how big or small they are, he just wants to have his way with them. He’ll lose his shit if you let him fuck your tits and will cum harder than ever.
Choking is another one of his favourites. He loves to watch you lose yourself to the combination of his dick pounding into you and his hand restricting your air flow. He swears you cum harder this way.
L - Location (Favourite places to have sex)
He’s pretty old school so he prefers to fuck you in your bedroom. But he also enjoys some passionate shower sex (don’t worry about slipping because this man is strong af).
He occasionally loves to fuck you outside when no one is around (he’s the only one who gets to see you like this so don’t worry about anyone catching you).
One time he fucked you on his bike at nighttime while you guys were overlooking the city.
M - Motivation (What turns them on?)
Logan has a high sex drive so many things about you turn him on. But what really does it for him is when you take care of him. You got up early to make him breakfast? He’s going to bend you over the counter and have you shaking while he bites your ear and whispers what a good girl you are for feeding your man. You give him a massage after he comes home from a long, gruelling day? Be prepared to sit on his cock and lose your mind as he fucks into you from below.
N - No (Turns offs/What they wouldn’t do)
He will not allow for any threesomes or for anyone to watch you two have sex. He’s too possessive and believes that sex is an intimate act between the two of you. You’re his and he’s yours, no question about it.
He won’t do anything to severely hurt you. He already inflicts a lot of pain on others when he goes on missions so the last thing he wants to do is hurt the love of his life. The most he’ll do is spank your ass, choke you or pull on your hair. But that’s about it.
O - Oral (Preference in giving/receiving, skill, etc)
Homeboy loves to eat your pussy like it’s his last meal. He can keep his face between your legs for hours if he could! Nothing gets him going more than the scent of your heat and the taste of your sweet juices. Please do him the honour of using his face as a seat. The man will gladly die from lack of oxygen if it means stuffing his face in your warm cunt😌
He also goes crazy for your mouth around his hard cock. He always reiterates how much he loves you and your filthy mouth every time you suck his dick because it’s an honour to have you on his knees for him. You’re giving up breathing for his pleasure? You beautiful human! He’s going to reward you big time when you’re done bringing him down from his high.
P - Pace (fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)
With Logan the pace really depends on the situation. If he’s frustrated and you offer to let him fuck away his worries, he’ll fuck you fast and rough. If he’s jealous and wants to remind you who you belong to, he’ll pound into you until you can’t walk the next day. If he’s feeling overwhelmed with his love for you or is feeling emotional he’ll fuck you deep and slow while he makes eye contact with you. If it’s a slow and quiet morning he’ll rock into you gently while he spoons you from behind.
Q - Quickie (Are they game for quickies? If so, how often?)
As much as he prefers to take his time with you and show you how much he appreciates you, you guys can have moments when you get too busy. Therefore, quickies are a great way for the two of you to have a few moments of closeness during a chaotic day. Don’t worry though because given the right opportunity Logan will make up for lost time and give you the time of your life.
R - Risk (Are they willing to experiment?)
Logan is always open to hearing your fantasies and is willing to try new things with you. But once again he draws the line at sharing you with someone or hurting you badly. At the end of the day he’s still a bit old schooled so he’ll definitely have his boundaries.
S - Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
This man can last a LONG time! We already know he has regenerative abilities so he’s up and ready to go pretty much immediately after he finishes. That being said, he knows your body very well and will stop once he knows you need to rest. But yeah he can pretty much keep it going for hours.
T - Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them on themselves or their partner?)
The only toy he owns is a cock ring which you insisted he try. He was pleasantly surprised when he realized how hard he could come once he used it. As for you, he occasionally uses handcuffs and vibrators to switch things up a little. He may or may not invest in some vibrating panties for you to try when you go out for dinner or hit up a bar👀
U - Unfair (Do they like to tease?)
It’s like a game for him. He gets off on hearing your frustrated groans and whimpers from overstimulating you for so long. More than anything he loves teasing you throughout the day whether it’s grabbing your hips while he reaches to grab a cup from the cupboard and then walking away, or rubbing your thigh under the table during dinner. You’re his favourite form of entertainment.
Now if YOU tease him just know that he’ll lose his shit and have you seeing stars before you can even think of teasing him any further. Life isn’t fair darlin’🤷🏻‍♀️
V - Volume (How loud are they? What sounds do they make?)
Oh my days this man is L O U D! He doesn’t give a fuck who hears him because he’ll be damned if anything or anyone stops him from enjoying the moment with you. He’s in love with the entirety of your being and he’s gonna make sure you know it, especially when he’s taking you like you’re his last meal. He’ll grunt and groan as your tight, warm walls hug his dick as he reaches deeper inside with every thrust. He growls loudly as you whimper and moan his name while you pull him closer to you with your legs wrapped around his waist.
W - Wild Card (Random headcannon)
Let me bring you in on a little secret. If you happen to have any tattoos or piercings in some scandalous areas, just know that you’re going to be devoured on a whole other level. Nipple piercings? This man will be panting and groaning like a bitch in heat and will make sure you cum just from him playing with them. A tattoo on your hip or sporting a tramp stamp? The back shots and bites on your hips are gonna go crazy. A tattoo leading into your panties? Well, you get the picture 🥵
X - Xray (How do they look underneath their clothes?)
He’s definitely a grower but even flaccid he’s packing😩 I’ll let you decide on the inches but just know that this man is girthy. Do with that information as you will.
Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Mr. Howlett ACHES for you all day, everyday. Now he obviously doesn’t fuck you every second of the day (unless that’s what you want🫣) but he loves your mind and your body so much. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: He doesn’t fuck just anyone. So know that he’s comfortable with you and LOVES you, so he’s going to make up for lost time and ruin anyone else for you (not that you’re ever gonna get with anyone else cuz he’s not letting you go😌). That said, if you’re not in the mood to have sex (regardless of how long), he’s perfectly okay with that. He just wants you to be comfortable and will make sure you only have sex with him when you truly want it. Never feel the need to force anything around him because he only gets off on your pleasure. Green flag energy onlyyyyyyy!
Z - Zzz (how fast they sleep afterwards)
Logan won’t get sleepy right away because he always has a lot of energy during and after sex. He’ll make sure you’re comfortable and taken care of before he settles in and dozes off with you. He’ll typically nuzzle into your chest or your neck and tangle his legs between yours before he drifts off into a comfortable sleep as he listens to your even breaths.
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xxcallmemaryxx · 1 year ago
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HIYA THERE!! im in absolute LOVE with everything u write like omg idk how many times ive reread everything here BAHSJBDGAS
ssssoooo if youre still doing ur lovely requests, may i ask for how a virgin AFAB reader's first time with the ghouls would be?
like the reader is hella scared of intimacy but is damn fucking horny and badly wants to take the next step with them? yeah hnggh
ITS UH FOR A FRiEND
Heheheehee this is gonna be soooooo self indulgent
Ghouls x GN reader
(Obviously talks of sex, but no smut and nothing going into detail)
Mountain knew before you even said anything to him. Ever the observer, he picked up on your change in behaviour almost immediately. He was aware of your lack of experience, so when you felt you were absolutely ready to share this moment with him, and from your own change in behaviour around him… Mountain put it together pretty quickly. Mountain spent days mentally planning how he was going to make the night perfect for you, so when the night came, and you were both sure it was happening… he spent every second focusing entirely on you. He is very observant and he pays very close attention to your body and the way you respond to him. Mountain will constantly ask you if you’re okay and if what he’s doing feels good. Of course for your first time he takes it easy, and focuses on getting you used to (not only him) but to lots of different sensations that come with having sex for the first time. All in all, it’s very very intimate with Mountain. He makes sure you can feel every ounce of love and affection has for you, he secretly has a lot of pride in the fact that you trusted him with such vulnerability. And he will cherish this very moment for the rest of eternity.
Aether almost can’t believe you’re trusting him to share this moment with you. When you tell him, he asks you about one million times if you’re sure, not because he doesn’t want too… but because he is so ecstatic about this he doesn’t believe he isn’t dreaming. Once it really sinks in that yes, you want to have sex for the first time with him he immediately sits down with you and has you throughly tell him what’s good and what’s not good for you. He goes nice and slow, his self control with you is unreal. Only focusing on you feeling good, to Aether his own pleasure is not important right now. This is about you and you having a good first time. He holds you so gently, and checks in with you constantly. And Aether looooves to tell you how good you feel and how good you’re doing and how proud he is of you. He will absolutely hold your hand the whole time to keep you nice and grounded with him, keeping you close to him and as comfortable as possible. To Aether, sex isn’t about the end goal. It’s about the act itself. The intimacy and the real and raw feelings that flow between the two of you. That is what he loves the most, and he is just so unbelievably grateful that he gets to share this with you.
Swiss takes a bit of a different approach, in the sense that he still wants you to have a good time but he doesn’t want you to focus too hard on it being as perfect as possible. He wants you to feel good, and he wants you to feel good with him. So he sticks to what he knows… which is being a little bit goofy with you. He 100% helps you get comfortable, and makes sure you have everything you need before you two start. Don’t get him wrong, he completely understands how important this is to you and that this is a big deal. It’s a big deal to him, Swiss is over the moon to share this with you and it’s something he too will never ever forget, but ultimately he’s going to keep the mood light, that way if something doesn’t feel too good at one point, or if you don’t finish (because that is completely natural, which he made a point of telling you just incase) he wants to ensure that you still had a fun first time despite the possibility of it not being as perfect as possible. The time for experimenting and having more serious or intimate sex is later, the time for just enjoying the moment and enjoying each other is now. So expect some hushed giggles between the two of you, expect him to be all smiles the whole time and expect him to just be really chill and happy. Happy to be with you. Happy to be experiencing this with you. And happy that he is able to make this moment as enjoyable and memorable as possible for you.
Dewdrop is all guns blazing ready to run at whatever the hell the world throws at him at every waking minute since he was summoned… so when you told him you wanted him to be the ghoul you lose your virginity too he could barely keep himself calm. He pretty much drags you back to his room with the biggest smile on his face. Let it be known he has zero malicious intent here, this behaviour is pure excitement to experience this with you. He’s got about a million questions to ask, everything ranging from what you think you’re into to what’s on or off the table tonight. Dewdrop is eager, partly to feel good with you and partly to be the reason why you feel good. He can’t stop kissing you, you two haven’t even made it to the bedroom yet and he just can’t stop himself. He’s a real talker, he likes to tell you every little detail about how good he feels all because of you and how amazing you feel and how well you’re doing. He picks up on the way your eyes light up and your shoulders untense when he tells you this. His claws are all over you, pulling you closer to him and touching you everywhere. He reminds himself to chill out a little, and there will be more opportunities to switch things up a bit later. His eagerness to please you shines through quite a few times and he speeds up a little without realising, but he catches himself. Despite all this, he still keeps a close eye on you. Making sure you’re still present with him and enjoying yourself as much as he is, if the sounds he’s happily pulling from you have anything to do with it.
Rain was not at all prepared, he was happy to be with you and exist with you and love you without the sex for as long as you wanted. Even if that meant forever. He never wanted you to feel pressured at all, so if it never happened between you two he was okay with that. But imagine his surprise when you very confidently brought it up to him, and told him you wanted him. Him!! He almost didn’t believe you, and he absolutely had to double check you were sure you wanted him right? So when the time came and you were both in bed together he was nervous. What if he does something wrong? What if he does something you don’t like? What if you don’t enjoy yourself? He cuddled up with you for a bit to settle himself down and then he was able to snap himself out of it and realise even if it didn’t all too smoothly you two could always try again another time. He checks in on you a lot, double and triple checking that you felt good and that what he was doing was okay. He presses constant little kisses all over your face and neck, trying to keep himself as grounded as possible because damn you just feel phenomenal. He tells you too… but he figures you already knew that from the sounds he’s not able to keep to himself. He coaxes the most beautiful sounds from you as well, and he can’t help but get a little bit lost in you. You both soak each other in and really just take the time to make love to each other for as long as you both want. There’s no end goal here, just loving each other.
Phantom could probably be considered a little bit less experienced too. Since being summoned not too long ago there’s a lot he’s still getting used to and things he’s yet to properly experience. Sex was one of them. Well… sex on the surface… and with a human. You two bonded over this, it came as a kind of comfort knowing there was someone else who just understood. Which ultimately turned into being the very person you both wanted to change that with. Phantom had a pretty good idea of what to do, you were the one that was going in with nothing to go off. The only thing with Phantom was… he wasn’t prepared for how good you were going to feel. It really threw him, and so as a result his mind went completely blank and all he knew was you. Just you. The way you looked underneath him, the way you felt around him, the way your hands held onto him and don’t even get him started on the way you sounded. And then just like that he was zoned in. Chasing pleasure he couldn’t believe he’d gone so long without. He held you close and buried himself within your being. Trying to just scoop up as much of you as he possibly could hold. He gets a little bit possessive over you, because he now has the knowledge that he was the one who introduced this pleasure to you, and helped you experience this for the first time. And he would rather march himself back down to hell then ever let anybody take this very special moment away from the both of you.
.
.
.
.
(Also hey requests are open but shhhh you didn’t hear it from me)
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schleckermaul · 9 months ago
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「 GET TO KNOW YOUR RP PARTNER! 」 ( repost, please don’t reblog )
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「BASICS」
▐ NAME: luce ▐ PRONOUNS: they/it ▐ SEXUALITY: bi ▐ TAKEN OR SINGLE: taken 💕 ▐ FIVE FACTS:
i have a cat named edmund who is my entire world. we go on walks and i teach him tricks every now and then
unfortunately spend a lot of time playing o.verwatch. i started playing because of l.ifeweaver and got stuck. still playing l.ifeweaver tho
currently training my dying attention span back to being able to read again. i try to do poetry daily, but i'm also reading "song of the six realms" by judy i lin rn! the cover is beautiful and it's been a fun read till now
i used to go by atlas in rp circles! took a big break after the pandemic hit and switched over to luce bc it didn't sit right anymore
i have ocd so i get pretty obsessed about organization and how the blog looks. if u see me deleting posts, this is why
「EXPERIENCE」
▐ HOW LONG (YEARS/MONTHS): i'm 25 now so ... 11 years, with rping specifically ▐ PLATFORMS USED: coughs ▐ BEST EXPERIENCE: i hopped from hyperfixation to hyperfixation throughout the years, but my best time has always been writing break. my time in the c.ritical r.ole fandom was also pretty banger, until it kind of exploded at the end
「MUSE PREFERENCES」
▐ MALE/FEMALE/OTHER: i tend to transmasc beam my characters, that's kind of the trend for me ▐ FAVORITE FACECLAIM: oh man, generally speaking, anything from ph or vnc gets my vote, but i've been using gilbert for a long time! i'm also particularly fond of antoine de sade from vnc ▐ FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT: angst! as ur average ph enjoyer, i'm a big fan of tragedy ▐ PLOTS OR MEMES: both! i like plotting a little and then just seeing where it goes. occasionally i also like to go ham on a meme. in regards to memes, @/nobully has inspired me a lot! her meme replies are always so good ▐ LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: i ramble lmao. lots of things to say, though i try to balance out ... everything, while still giving enough space and engagement for the reply from my partners ▐ BEST TIME TO WRITE: late at night, usually. i also really like getting up a bit earlier to get some writing in when i'm excited about a thread ▐ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: in some ways, but not in most. break in particular i've just written for a long time, so that writing him comes easily to me not because we're alike, but because i know him well. autism event and such (it's been years)
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literallyangelshaw · 2 months ago
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I know I made a post about this last night but this is FRRR BUGGING MEEEE so I'm gon speak on it again because I fuckin can this is my blog the fuck 💀💀
LOOONGGG rant ahead guys b warned LMAO
Anyways, the mass amounts of internalised racism within fandoms created by Snow White's descendants is actually insane. Even crazier in this fandom bc let's be fr, it may be small but it is HELLA diverse in here, when it comes to actual ppl anyway...them ocs tho...
That anon last night (and many others bc yall LOVE to yap abt POC but nobody holds the cloudy crusaders accountable) nobody is saying anyone owes anyone rep, but it's also unfair to Erik to say that his writing is "slanted" by his white privilege. When he literally has tons of POC coded characters which is why the fandom mainly agrees that they r infact POC, confirmed or not that counts as a representation of our lived experience. And I cannot stress this enough, the characters and Erik are not the same. Yes he pours a little of himself in all of his characters I like to think, but a character is never truly a direct reflection of it's writer. Project all you want they're still not identical, meaning they 9 times outta 10 are gonna have a different life experience, background, beliefs, habits, ethnicity etc. Also meaning that there was probably research done on others' experiences, which yall obviously can't be bothered to do bc all ur ocs r either a cloud, whipped cream or fucking reflective. So if anyone's writing is tainted by privilege it's YALLS.
And imma use myself as an example bc I used to do this shit too, which is probably why it pisses me off so bad. Back a couple years ago when I originally found redacted, all my OCs were originally supposed to b white men....dramatic pause, however comma, with this thing called growth and accountability I learned that, that was in fact internalised racism AND sexism because I had lived my life wishing I could be exactly that. White. A cis man. I don't think yall get it, there was internalised. self. loathing. Fueled by the racism and sexism that I had been taught. And it is a choice you gotta make to open your fucking eyes and hold yourselves accountable bc this goes so much deeper than just yalls endless Taylor Swift clones.
POC rep even to this day is a fucking gem bro. And white ppl have been consistently catered to in real life AND in media. Stop bashing POC for a situation that has always been lose-lose. We're told to fuck off white creators and go make our own, and then we do and those creations and stories are ignored and disregarded or outright criticised for the lack of ass kissing to whites. Let's talk about the initial reaction to ATSV/ITSV. There were COUNTLESS white windbag brained bitches flocking to the internet to complain because there were "hardly any white ppl" and it was "too diverse." Do you see where I'm going with this? No? Lemme break it down
Yall are so accustomed to being catered to that you expect POC media to do the same, and when it doesn't you fucking condemn it. This is exactly why some POC don't WANT to make stories of their own because yall snow-snobs have your heads to far up your asses that you can't be bothered to step outside your comfort zone and maybe just take a peek at how a POC may feel on the daily. Which is why the few of yall that DO care and DO portray things similar or exactly like our lived experience, we color the FUCK OUTTA THEM BITCHES HELLO???
I don't think you guys understand how exhausting it is to have a voice that nobody cares to hear. And when we are heard, our words are twisted. Like in this exact case bro. Yall are bitching and moaning bc POC are actually using the voices that we had to FIGHT TO EVEN HAVE in the FIRST PLACE. And again yall are painting POC as the aggressors when we are literally just making observations. Headcanoning an entire cast as white blonde and blue eyed isn't fucking normal and the fact that yall are now riled up because people are speaking on it just proves your privilege. Because you will never have to fight for media to show your experiences and you'll never have to turn to people who don't care and beg them to amplify your voice.
Anyways enjoy this rant lmao, many more to come!! Not specifically about this but there r QUITE a few issues as of late 💀🙏
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actualbird · 1 year ago
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regarding puppy luke in the Actualbird Cinematic Universe™️ …
MC/Rosa - Discipline
Marius - trying out puppy play/rewarding
Vyn - clicker training
If you ever write puppy Luke and Artem i think a neat idea would be fetch!! Like Luke’s gotta fetch all the props/stuff for their play session (from… a toy box…) and artem gets to sit back and watch bc wow, what a view right? that’s just my incoherent ramblings 🌚
But a related question for you, how do you think luke even realised he has this kink?
irt this idea i had about vyn clicker training luke for puppy play sexytimes
"the Actualbird Cinematic Universe™️" JVSKJFHSDFHJVJ!!!! anyhoo, i love your arteluke idea SO MUCH, i might incorporate that into whatever my luketem fic for this series will be because now i will take this time to shamelessly promo my luke puppy play fic series, with the fics that currently exist and the ones im planning on writing in the future
series on ao3: "do you need a dog, he can bark (luke puppy play extravaganza)"
mariluke (trying out puppy play and rewarding, my Very First luke puppy play fic): "sit, stay, (obey)"
lukerosa (discipline, she puts him in a muzzle): "learn to behave"
vynluke (The Clicker Training Idea): no fic yet! but god i wanna write it
mariluke again because i love them (M rated nonsexual BDSM fic where marius and luke just shop around for puppy play gear because marius wants to get luke the Best toys and puppy ears and tail plug, the BEST that money can buy, and then when luke tries it on he goes so dazed in subspace that he just falls asleep with marius petting him and it's great): no fic yet! but god i wanna write it
arteluke (I LOVE UR IDEA I MIGHT ADD IT IN SOMEHOW WITH MY PRIOR IDEA where training again but artem makes luke kneel at his feet sinking down on a dildo while artem works and when artem works he ACTUALLY WORKS and luke gets so impatient and pouty and wanting the real thing that artem eventually relents): no fic yet etc etc
ALL TOGETHER NOW? (i dont have an idea for this yet but i do want luke the goodest puppy serving the entire team all at once...)
NOW FOR UR QUESTION!!! (sorry it took me a while to get here JHVSJKDFHSD)
i actually think luke has enough self awareness to at least know that hes got an...obedience kink, praise kink, serving people kink, and all that. like he knows hes into that, thanks to porn and his Imagination and then thanks to experiences once he gets with the nxx polycule. but he only puts all those kinks together with the label "PUPPY PLAY" probably when marius jokingly starts calling him puppy as a nickname
and luke
likes it
wAYYYY TOO MUCH
in a VERY MUCH NOT INNOCENT WAY
basically
marius, teasing: youre such a puppy sometimes!
luke, genuine: am......i a good puppy? 🥺
marius: uh. yes? hey is there something you wanna tell me or
luke: yeah, can i suck you off right now, im really horny all of a sudden for some reason
marius: I THINK I KNOW THE REASON BUT IT CAN WAIT AFTER THE BLOWJOB
and then luke researches about puppy play kink stuff and suitably informs the polycule and they all start experimenting with it because theyre all very much into it too, bless
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yellowocaballero · 2 years ago
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HEY!! Your trigun swap au is so very good!! I've always loved roleswap aus as a concept, and yours is the perfect example of why. it's all about the balancing act of twisting the (swapped) character's background/mentalities for maximum domino effect while not actually *destroying* the character ya know? you still gotta recognize them, it's half of the fun. just some little nudges here... and there... with the delightful result of a changed plot/world that you can discover anew
Also I surprisingly vibe with Dr Knives. a lot. what can I say I guess it's the fucked up superiority-inferiority/guilt complex with a dash of imposter syndrome. also the transgenderism. he's just like me fr fr (minus the speciesism and bloodlust) 1/3
SPEAKING OF! I'm literally a week late for that but chapter 4 may be my favorite so far. it's got it all: Ww's bloodlust coming through and being given a GUN, M&M being #JustNormalGunsmokeKidsThings about it, Knives being incredibly tired and enthusiastically murderous in turns, TRANS PEOPLE!! Funky morally dubious trans men ! Intersex nonbinary Knives (in humans terms) !! small internal rants about ecosystems!
I particularly like that one bc I too found myself twitching whenever I see (in fics or fandom at large) Gunsmoke being shown as a ~hostile, barren~ planet when, like.... *waves agitedly at the Tomases* *waves frantically at the WORMS, in all their INCREDIBLY DIVERSIFIED sizes and shapes* tell me there isn't an entire ecosystem supporting and including these bad boys. And god do I wanna know about it. Terraforming this terraforming that. Enough. I want bio-worldbuilding fics that are just as weird and unhinged as the rest of trigun (2/3)
To go back to Nicholas : I loved his discussion with Knives about fate and predestination and stuff (esp since -I may be reading too much into it, but it’s interesting that Knives says he doesn’t believe in predestination anymore, and just a bit later goes about how his personality is Like That bc he’s Biologically Programmed for it), and his last words in it are especially ominous. WHAT were you gonna say about Vash. How does it concern Nicholas. This is gonna bite them in the ass later isn’t it.
Also ur last asks/answers REALLY doesn’t reassure me about woowoo’s fate. Is he gonna die. Is he gonna end up going thru the same things than his canon counterpart (concentrate of medical-and-general unethicality). Idk what those flags are for but boy They Are There.
Aallll that to say I absolutely love that fic and can't wait to see what you do next with it, thank you so much !! (3/3)
This is so nice thank you so much :D :D :D To comment in order:
Roleswaps are no fun if you can't recognize the character. You're absolutely right - the funnest part is to make the smallest changes possible, and see how they cause the biggest differences. That's true of every AU, honestly - you guys know those 600k shonen manga aus where something major is different but every story beat is identical to canon? Or they're identical to every other au? They're addictive but without substance. Also sounds boring to write.
It's so funny that you (and others) vibe with Dr. Knives! From my end, he has my own very wry deadpan and self-esteem problems. Characters who have both a ridiculously inflated ego for comedy purposes and some real self-esteem problems for drama purposes work great.
I was surprised that so many people enjoyed the trans thing so much! I didn't expect it to make people so happy. Of course it's a nice surprise. I don't remember why I made the BDN decision (funny, probably) or the 'Knives invented gender reassignment surgery' thing (funny definitely), but a very active decision and something that made Knives above every other character fun to write is that he is not a human being and does not think of himself as such. The way his body experiences emotion is different, his body itself is different in a way that probably includes genitalia, and there's no reason for him to experience gender the same way. As I'm about to talk about in the upcoming chapter, he casually refers to himself as a thing and with it/its and it doesn't affect his superiority complex whatsoever.
I...would not have said that this is trans by myself, if that makes sense, because I wouldn't have wanted to say "in order to really hammer in how this character is INHUMAN then I'm gonna make him not male or female and prefer neopronouns!". It's just the shape of the character, to me. BUT LIKE IF Y'ALL LIKE IT! NO PROBLEM! I was just worried I might be saying the wrong thing, so I didn't want to say it, if that makes sense. Y'all can say it though.
Trigun worldbuilding is nonsensical and hideously vague and as a writer if you stop and think too hard about silly questions like "where does the wood come from" or "why is Vash eating salmon sandwiches" then you go insane. But...yeah, Gunsmoke's like any other ecosystem, and its worms and thomases seem to be doing great! It's not Gunsmoke's fault it is almost completely uninhabitable to humans. It sucks for us, but...does Knives care about that??? Lmfao???
There is a shitton to say about Knives' relationship with predestination and inevitability, because it's why he made the worst decision of his life. I think of it as...reasonable, in a lot of ways. If all you knew about humanity was what you read in history textbooks, and human history ended with the destruction of Earth and themselves, how would you feel? Everything humans have done, they do again. And if they dissected your sister, in an act of cruelty that they had done to even themselves...of course you'd worry. Of course. If you're young and scared and you can hear the screams of the dead in your ears, of course you feel like it's going to be you or them. And if you're.........Millions Knives.......and reverse!Vash.....then eliminating the threat is just good business sense.
And you aren't reading too much into it - Trigun in so many ways is about choices, and the impact of your choices. Your decisions are you own, and you must take responsibility for them. Decisions have weight in Trigun. I think what ppl miss sometimes about Vash is that he also wants to fuckin' murder people sometimes. He wants to be violent, he wants to hurt. He just chooses not to. Sometimes choosing pacifism is a hard fucking choice, and I think wiping that away does a disservice to the character. So if Knives would say, "Well, it's just who I am, I had no choice, I had no control, I just go nuts and murder it's not on me..." - what does that mean, in Trigun? It's??? Like??? A pussy thing to say???
But, the way I thought about it - what Knives is fighting is his internal sense that he is predestined for cruelty. He knows "who he really is" and any attempt at goodness is futile, because he's secretly bad and will always be bad. And he fucks up sometimes and starts exploding worms. But Knives chooses goodness, and I don't think he's really cottoned on that his choice to do good is more important than his internal desires to do bad and his history of badness. Because he hates himself.
I think what Knives knows now as an adult is that our lives have paved a path for us to tread. Sometimes that path is innocent, and sometimes your life paves a very nasty path. But it's our choice if we walk it or not. Knives knows what his path is, and it gives him extreme shame - but he chose which one he walked, and that's what I judge him on. Still funny how much he loves murder though.
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lunapwrites · 1 year ago
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when you get this ask you have to you could perhaps maybe bless us with 5 of ur fav songs (currently or of all time), and then send this ask to 5 of your moots who you think have good taste!
Hi hello yes this is one of my FAVORITE games to play. But please be prepared for some slight genre whiplash haha.
At heart, I am an angsty bitch. This song MOVES me like nothing else in this world, and is one I will absolutely belt out in the car if I'm by myself. But also - this is one of a small handful of songs I have always wanted to animate something for because it gives Remus-post-81 vibes but alas, my brain and hands continue to be on non-speaking terms.
Fun fact about me: I decoded the entire alphabet they'd used in the album art for this, and used to write notes to my ex in them so that teachers couldn't tell what I was writing. (S and R were also the same symbol, reversed, which is really funny in hindsight, even if at the time it fucked with my ADHD lol.) I have also done this with dwarven runes from LoTR, and also the entire Al Bhed language from FFX. Anyway this album saw a lot of play during my sophomore and junior years of high school, specifically, but this song has always been one of my favorites.
Tori my beloved!!!! This song goes so goddamn hard, and I have very strong memories of coming home from school and turning on "we have MTV at home" (which was in fact actually better than MTV bc they were JUST music videos, no fluff), and watching this woman marching barefoot through the woods, blindfolded and bound, and just !!!!! Choirgirl Hotel was one of the first CDs I ever purchased for myself for a reason.
This song has the distinction of inspiring the tone and tenor of my first ever poem when I was 12, which I had to submit as a school assignment, and which my teacher felt compelled to pull me aside and ask if I was okay about. Having to explain to said teacher that I was not in fact being imprisoned in my own home and that the poem was about our new puppy crying in his kennel was... an interesting experience lol. What can I say, angst is in my blood lmfao. Anyway, this is another one I like to sing along to a lot, and holds the distinction of containing both the lowest and highest notes I can reliably hit. (I know that Chris is a Baritone with a roughly 4 octave range, but as for what notes he's hitting in this song in particular? Fuck if I know.)
This song. Has such a GORGEOUS buildup - there's a hypnotic rhythm to it also that is fairly common with Tool songs, but just... really really shines in this one. Also it's a song about his mother dying, and about his complicated relationship with faith (and hers.) Like... my god. I know everyone likes Vicarious and The Pot, and they're great songs, but like....
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COME ON.
Anyway, honorable mentions go out to "Orion" by Metallica and "Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town" by Pearl Jam and the combination of "Reset" and "Homecoming" by Misery Signals off of their absolutely stunning and literally flawless album Controller, and yes they do need to be in there together. I did also have "5 Dollars" by Christine and the Queens on here originally, but while that song is the epitome of queer joy to me, the impact of it largely comes from the video (being my enby awakening.)
Thanks for the ask! This was really hard to narrow down hahahaha.
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bradycore · 2 years ago
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ok i know that you may not like destiel, but i promise you, as a fellow sam stan, the second half, especially the last couple chapters, of to become a man goes fucking wild for sam. it drives me feral even to this day. no spoilers tho.
when i was reading this fic, i would refer to to exist again because the interconnectivity is off the charts. the dialogue from the two fics are the same but the perspectives are different, so reading to exist again only or to become a man only is completely different experience off what is basically the same series. its like how arrested development's orginal formatting final season had all the different perspectives and jokes set up in each episode that didnt make sense until you watched the entire thing. and it is hilarious. the setup, which seem offhanded and weird pieces of dialogue in to exist again become key plot elements in to become a man. and deans perspective of magic is so different from sam's and cas. you just get a really good feel for how much of a freak sam is and how normal dean is in a world full of magic. it just adds another layer to world building.
and the fic addresses all of the issues i have about dean. it doesnt just wave a wand and make him unproblematic, but demenior makes dean work for it. he has character arc. he is not perfect at the end, but he is trying and that is what is important. and you also gotta to read to become a man just because of the whole cliff hanger for to exist again. once the to become a man has caught up with to exist again. i mean. the answers are definitely worth the wait.
i can tell you what specific chapters that are important for sam. i never reread the fic in its entirety but only to specific chapters that drive me, as a sam stan, insane. but its also the little moments between the major sam plot points that treat sam and deans relationship with such care and fucked-up-ness that i would recommend that you dont. you got to find the parts that drive you insane yourself
oh my god. i almost forgot about dem's characterization of purgatory. i dont want to spoil it, but it really expands on the wrongness of the leviathans and purgatory that supernatural never was able too.
and overarching themes. the overarching themes. its fucking beautiful and ties up everything so well. sam and dean have their own themes and arcs (which you can pretty much get from their story titles) that complement each other so well with the overarching message (the love it takes). it is wild. no it is well thought and planned.
warning: there is eldritch monster sex scenes in to become a man. you can skip it if you are not into it. there are warnings at the top of those chapters.
i could write essays about to exist again and to become a man. i could talk about them all day.
and it was such a joy reading it in real time. the theories and analyses that the readers made comment section for each chapter. the real time interactions with the author. it just made the experience so much better. and the music. oh the music that goes with this fic.
if i were you, i would reread to exist again whenever the timeline matches up with to become a man. it so worth it.
and the dem shares many of your cas/angel headcannons that are fully fleshed out in this fic.
oh and @demenior has little fics of the love it takes on their tumblr (this fic series is why i joined tumblr the first time around).
wow hello!!! it would be a mess to try and respond to each part of this individually but i read all of it closely and rlly appreciate the breakdown!!! i could rave about to exist again all day for the rest of time (the lorebuilding alone holy shit??? seriously its. im. its SO good.) and you make an excellent case for to become a man (congrats on ur lawboy coding) so clearly i will just have to reread the former and read the latter as soon as possible
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inkykeiji · 2 years ago
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hi clari!! can i ask how you stay attracted to your bf sexually when you read/write a ton of smut/romance that is different than how your bf is in real life? i find myself thinking “wow i wish my bf was naturally like this character” when reading fan fiction with smut and feel weird about it asking him to be different when we have sex because it feels too forced/unnatural of him
hi hi!!!
well, while smut is—like all porn—a fantasy and kind of meant to be unrealistic (to some extent; obv because it’s fake we can do whatever we want and explore whatever we want in a safe manner!), i still do write like my favourite kinks and the type of consensual sex i like to have. i take inspiration from my own sex life for my writing; a line or two of dialogue, a certain position, how certain things felt or went, locations, situations etc. so i don’t really have the problem you’re talking about, because so much of my smut is already similar to what my boyfriend and i do!
i think if you’re feeling diminished attraction to your partner either because they aren’t meeting your individual + personal needs or for an entirely different reason, that’s definitely something to explore and dig deeper into. does your boyfriend know about your personal sexual preferences and kinks? like have you ever communicated these to him? i know it can be super super scary to bring this kind of stuff up, because you’re being very open and vulnerable, but i promise you communication is key here!!!
now, if you have spoken to him about it and he said he isn’t comfortable with it because it feels unnatural or forced, then that’s his choice and his decision to make, and that’s totally fine. in that case tho i’d probably reassess ur relationship and what needs are and aren’t being met, and how you can find compromises if there are any to be found or how to move forward so you’re both happy, comfortable, safe, and consensual.
but if you haven’t brought it up to him at all, i think it’s kind of unfair to assume it would automatically be a terrible experience and not something that (like all things!) comes with practice and gets better with time. my boyfriend and i seriously eased into exploring my daddy kink, and at first i was really really shy to use the word at all with him. then i started using it through text, then over the phone, then during sex & in person, and now we both use it all the time. it was a very gradual thing and we were learning what we did and didn’t like, and what does and does not work, together, which is half the fun! it will probably be awkward at first, but you guys can laugh about it and keep practicing until it isn’t awkward or wooden/forced.
if you’d like your boyfriend to be more rough with you during sex, or maybe incorporate some degradation and dirty talk, or try out bondage, or whatever it may be that you are into that isn’t happening in your sex life, tell him!!! let him know! and come up with a plan to incorporate it into your bedroom sessions. i know it doesn’t sound sexy to plan things, but trust me, it is not only important to do so but healthy to do so as well. i’ve said this before but my boyfriend and i will have lengthy discussions about new things we want to try the next time we fuck, and we always have a discussion after we’re done about what worked and what didn’t (if anything). boundaries and making sure everyone feels comfortable and okay are so so so important, and it’s something i think both vanilla couples and bdsm couples should do!
it really is so important to keep in mind that smut/porn truly is a fantasy where everything goes right and perfect right off the bat, but that obv isn’t what happens in real life. sometimes you try a position and it just isn’t it, sometimes you can’t stop giggling, sometimes dirty talk comes out cringy, etc etc etc. and that’s all totally fine and natural and normal!! it’s going to happen sometimes, and i think it’s also rly important to be able to laugh about it with your partner and just take it for what it is.
but anyway! i feel like this doesn’t answer you’re question but i’m sorry anon bb i don’t really know what else to tell you :( i write the type of sex i like to have, just more fantastical or heightened/dramatized!
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flovverworks · 2 years ago
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returning to ydays post so gbf spoilers for the event for sure, probably mhyk spoilers too
Morimori: But what's so wrong about forgetting? It's not his fault. And it's not Erbsu's or Nerine's either. Even the past town elders were forced to make tough decisions. Running from reality and forgetting the bad things is how we as people can live happy, treeful lives. Drusilla: Are you perhaps encouraging me? Morimori: I thought that was obvious. Even if you end up forgetting Nerine, you're not to blame.
this EXCHANGE........1) nerine's entire thing alrdy had me bawling but. i was alrdy thinking about these topics since ive been thinking about type0 again...@_@ i DO run off akira rmbring the wizards & everything, i talked about this a while back, but it IS true that arthur&co forgot the old sage's face & name almost immediately. theres a lot of fanwork too revolving around akira being forgotten/forgetting too (more strongly in the forgetting side, while forgotten rly is mostly.....name&face. points to yorushika's usotsuki for the billionth time). riquet's anni card about riquet's book.....there is sage's book, so why not make akira's book too? 1.5 with them not telling anyone what actually happened that night, and akira silently wishing that someone will one day ask them about their story. ive had this thought for soooo long too about akira writing down everything they rmbr of the wizards&their world when they return to their world, in order to not forget, in order to not lose it. 'you're not to blame' did a number on me big time
Nerine: I'm not sure why, but it feels like this sort of thing calls for more than a… thing. Drusilla: You mean a story would be better? Nerine: Whoa, how'd you know? I was going to write one as soon as I got back to the forest! Drusilla: I thought it might be worth learning from your example as well. Nerine: My example? Are you going to write a story too? Then this trip'll be great inspiration! Let's have lots of fun until the very last minute!
which essentially goes into this exchange too,,,,,T_T rather than an item, writing a story......telling a story......even if its not read by anyone, something that you can read and remember.......memories fade, stories remain, all that....
Drusilla: Sigh… All I wanted was for you to experience normal town life. Nerine: Huh? But that's impossible. I'm with you, aren't I? That makes it too special to be normal. Drusilla: …! I-I'm impressed you can say such things without even a hint of embarrassment.
akira before vs after meeting the wizards (but rly.....voicing ur feelings rather than keeping them inside....T_T
Nerine: How am I supposed to smile! I don't want to say goodbye! We haven't even eaten cake together yet! I can't believe this is the end! That I'll never see you again! Drusilla: This is the worst! I want to spend more time with you! Forget being special! Why couldn't we have met under normal circumstances!
figaros fkng mahopa. school april fools. that one chocolate meeting place vday event. theres another time where akiras like 'will i too be able to wave goodbye while smiling?' or whatever but i cant rmbr which event it is. anyway i was BAWLING
Drusilla: Thanks to Nerine, I realized something. I'm special to Nerine, and she's just as special to me. But it's not just her—the crew, my friends, and my family are all incredibly important to me. And they all have people who are important to them. Everyone is special to someone.
;_; 2nd anni............................1.5.......................pt2.............................. everyone is special to someone.......
theres admittedly also the mhyk 3rd anni website txt,,,
Even fairy tales without happy endings can one day be cherished all the same.
gggggg i wANT THE HAPPY ENDINGS THOOOOO korwa is so right for always talking about that. either way the full text talking about weaving a tale and similar,,,,i havent read that anni story still but the cards with 'capturing a moment'...T_T anyway i have an entire side thought on "happy", especially in regards to pt2 focus charas but ill get into that when pt2 is finished im so emotionally drained after this event + today.
there IS also an entire subject on the forgetting in the event in regards to gran's feelings in current msq but ill take that on gran someday. also especially the first part.....in regards to the part in 1.5 that makes it iffy whether akiras alive or not (especially considering what the Common isekai plot is)........i have thoughts regarding all that & how brad looked at akira when speaking about nova + how faust thought nova reminded them of akira in that 'u r not from here' way, but i still havent read ch17 and overall i assume theyre gonna drop the entire thing on us during pt2? so ill come back to that l8r but in general. man. this event story........im not used to being the target audience this often, last time was sui?? and before that sincerely???? 3 events within one year....waow.....
anyway im drained
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batarddusoleil · 1 year ago
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Still absolutely wild to me that sable's entire friend group can be so into ideological purity that they turn on someone basically on a dime and fully ostracize them (and even tell total strangers online not to interact with that person?) When like. The entire time I knew them, sable had a p much constant habit of picking at people they didn't like for any reason and looking for every excuse to get them kicked from groups, even if they'd been there much longer than sable themself had
Also the time that sable. Y'know. Straight up denied that someone had been getting abused by their mother just bc they thought the person was personally annoying & the person had complained once about not wanting to go to chemo appts w their mom (bc their mom would verbally and emotionally abuse them the entire time) lol lmao
Idk I'm not saying you can't draw a hard line and curate your social media experience or even the people u wanna be around but. Like. Idk it's just exhausting being ready and able to snap on people at a moments notice. It's like straight up cop behavior, literally policing the friend group over what people are allowed to fuckin post or write or think about complex topics on their own fuckin accounts, and feeling like ur under constant scrutiny, that at any moment these same people ur joking around with could turn on you next bc you disagreed abt something or made a joke in poor taste. No grace. No hesitation. You either grovel for forgiveness, or you get cut off. And those who continue interacting with you afterwards will be Monitored, bc you are Tainted, Consorting With The Enemy but not in so many words.
Idk man. I'm fuckin tired of binarist thinking, of a lack of nuance, of turning on people bc they're kind of annoying or they're into yaoi or they're cringe or whatthefuckever. I'm tired of being judgemental of the people around me.
Im not telling anybody to drop them or cut them off or whatever bc demanding ideological purity from anybody is inherently fucked up, but like. Take what they say with a grain of salt. Fuckin ask yourself from time to time, when it comes to interpersonal conflicts, "is this really worth it?"
Also if ur still in that group obviously this goes without saying but. Don't. For the love of God fucking don't show them this post lol. I don't care enough anymore to get lectured or dm'd about how posting this was hurtful or whatever. If anybody in their group wants to talk privately abt this shit, sure, my dms are always open, but like. If sable wants to use this as evidence that I'm like a horrible person or I hate them and I'm out to get them or whatever then that's none of my fuckin business, I'm literally just some guy on the internet posting on my personal blog about my experiences with someone I used to be friends with and eventually drifted away from. What material harm can this cause? What consequences? Who cares? I'm not even @'ing them. I don't even have a following lmao none of this matters!!! Genuinely I just wanted to get it all off my fuckin chest bc it's been rankling for a while
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allisonlol · 4 years ago
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Hello. I saw that you have open requests, so I decided to write my own. Can I ask for smut headcannons for Mori Ogai, Chuya Nakahara, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol (for each separately) with an innocent and inexperienced fem!s/o, who is very worried before the first time and is shy of her body? Please.
a/n: yes of course <3 love this request !!
warnings: suggestive content, brief descriptions of sex, nothing too explicit tho?? also implied female reader
Smut HC’s with an Inexperienced S/O
(Fyodor, Chuuya, Nikolai, Mori)
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Fyodor Dostoevsky
he definitely gets off on the fact you are inexperienced
has a corruption kink so he really can’t wait to ruin your innocence,,,
after a while of dating he is the one who has to bring up the topic of sex first
he can sense how shy you are about it and ngl it makes him excited
(he’s super intimidating & hot so like,,,who WOULDN’T be nervous 😭)
the first time with fyodor is…intense to say the least
he does try his best to make sure you are as comfortable as possible tho <3
will reassure you about any doubts you have
he is a bit confused as to why you’re shy about your body since, to him, it is perfect
& his opinion is the only one that matters so,,,
gives u a lot of foreplay so you will be more prepared
once he’s actually inside of you, he can’t help but smile sadistically at the tears in your eyes from the slight pain
your inexperience is just so adorable to him, & the fact that HE’S the one ruining your innocence only fuels his ego more
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Chuuya Nakahara
this may be an unpopular opinion but i feel like he’s pretty inexperienced as well
is a bit relieved by your innocence bc then that means he’s the first (& only) person that gets to do this with you
is extremely doting and gentle
really goes out of his way to make sure you understand that you have nothing to worry about, & that he thinks every part of you is beautiful <3
he’s nervous too so you better reassure him a bit as well- 😭
asks several times if you’re SURE you want to do this with him,,,he would never want you to feel pressured into it or anything
during the actual sex itself he asks if you’re okay like 1029367 times
(not really that much but,,,you get what i mean)
panics a bit when he sees tears in your eyes & almost stops completely
you have to tell him several times it’s alright to continue, & that the tears are just from being overwhelmed (in a good way)
TONS of praise the entire time, he just wants you to feel safe and loved 🥰
chuuya my beloved…you are too precious for this world <3
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Nikolai Gogol
i adore this clown so much 👏🏻
he gets very excited (on the inside) when you tell him how inexperienced and worried you are for the first time
this absolute sadist omg
he adores how innocent you are and can’t wait to see how entertaining it will be to ruin you
however, any doubts or insecurities about your body will be quickly diminished because he will shower you in compliments on how perfect you are
he wants you to be a shy and embarrassed tearful mess by the time it’s finished
and you WILL be
“gentle” isn’t really in his vocabulary so he will be a bit rough 😁
you’ll have to remind him to slow down or stop a few times 😭 like sir let us breathe for a sec-
if he unintentionally hurts you he will apologize tho
for the first time he won’t degrade or make fun of you but he will get delight from seeing how much of a flustered mess you become
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Mori Ogai
another one with a corruption kink
feels a bit honored that he’s the one who gets to take away ur innocence
the whole situation does really turn him on lol
he is fairly decent at comforting you and putting any worries you have to rest
he doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable or upset in any way
is very methodical and gentle
he doesn’t want to ruin the experience at all by hurting you
mori won’t show it but he does find delight by how inexperienced you are
he does have an inclination for innocent people after all…
a/n: just now finishing this at 5am 😶 it was really fun to write tho, hope u enjoyed !!
song i listened to while writing: maria by hwasa
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Thank you!
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starglitterz · 3 years ago
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to all the boys i've loved before.
─── CHILDE ! // your best friend.
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─ a short series based on my own personal experiences with love and crushes. a sort of messy goodbye to all the boys i’ve loved before.
warning(s); writing style is quite casual compared to the other parts idk why LOL, reader's hands are mentioned to be smaller than childe's.
series masterlist.
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so. childe. how on earth did you end up dating the most idiotic, most playful, but surprisingly level-headed boy in your class? sure, he isn't as bad as some of the others like scaramouche or dottore, but to say he's well-behaved would be a total lie. yet somehow, you, the 'golden student' of your class, gravitate towards him and his weird sense of humour. you don't know what it is about him that attracts you, but over a few years, the two of you become best friends.
perhaps best friends is a bit of an understatement. best friends who flirt all the time, or best friends with half-benefits of being wingmen for each other, would be a better description. it's funny, really, how you had to listen to him gushing over signora when he was obsessed with her, and he had to listen to you going crazy over diluc when you had a crush on him, but after all that you both fell for one another. (fun fact; the irl versions of signora & diluc became a couple later LMAO)
although when you think about it, it's impossible not to fall for him. seeing his smile practically lights up your world, and he always manages to make you laugh, and the two of you have so many pictures together where you're going :D and he's just -_- to annoy you by not posing properly. you just never expected him to possibly reciprocate your feelings.
-
you've just got off a call with kokomi and yoimiya where you talked about your feelings for childe, and both of them encourage you to confess. unfortunately, you decline, saying you'd rather not ruin your friendship, but when you see his status as online, a stupid impulse washes over you. maybe it's the fact that it's 2am, or the fact that you're willing to throw caution to the wind at this point, you'll just play it off as a joke if anything goes south, but whatever the reason, you end up texting childe and asking 'hypothetically speaking, if i asked you out, what would ur reply be?'
yeah. basically you're a coward AND a dumbass who can never ask things straight. archons, this is stupid. but then he replies almost immediately, 'yoo??? hypothetically i'd say yes' and you're like ?!?!?!? and then he goes 'hypothetically, if I asked you out, what would you say' and you reply 'i'd say yes too' and both of you are just kinda !??!?! then childe, who has such a way with words (/s), says 'wait can i ask you now' and you're like 'WHAT' and he goes 'can i ask you out now or is it like a bad time idk how to do this' and finally after a lot of flustered-ness from both sides he eventually goes 'y/n, would you like to go out with me?' and obviously you reply 'yeah childe i would'.
anyways, then childe is like 'can't believe i finally got myself a cute s/o' and you're like 'well i finally got myself a cute bf' and both of you are just kinda rambling to each other about how cool is this, and although you're not entirely certain you're pretty sure that both you and childe are equally flustered but also having so much fun.
the thing is, childe manages to say the cutest things ever while seeming so genuine that it really makes you want to spontaneously combust or fly to the moon or just hug him. like that same night he's like "wait i can finally call you cute… oh ur so fucking cute" and then goes on to explain in length all the reasons you are. and you just ?!?! then you say that you can barely form a coherent reply because you're so happy and he's just like 'that's right i always leave you speechless' please slap him. he deserves it!!!!!!!!!!
yk that thing in relationships where they ask stupid questions like 'if i was a bug would u still date me?' yeah childe does that except he says 'if i was a ghost would you still date me', and when you reply 'yeah sure' he goes 'okay good because if you said no i would haunt you'.
also literally every single time you flirt with childe he'll tease you by saying 'stop flirting i'm taken, i have an s/o' and you'll be like 'what a coincidence, i have a boyfriend but he's an idiot.' and he gets so offended,,, but then you say 'he's my idiot though' and he switches up real quick LMFAOOO
-
as for your friends' reactions to hearing that the two of you are a couple now when you get back to physical school, honestly nobody's surprised. you and childe are the couple that everyone knew was going to happen, even the teachers, and it was just a question of sooner or later.
being in school together is a million times more fun though! you get to spend so much more time with him, and although you've been friends for years and dating hasn't changed much between you both, it's still more fun to hang out now that it's a definite fact that he likes you too.
one time you're in the library studying, and childe stands behind you with his hands on the back of your chair and bends over to ask, "hey, how are you?" you lean back to look up at him and grin, "good now that i get to see you." and he just smiles although his face is turning redder by the second, "you're so cute." now it's your turn to be embarrassed!
also you talk to him all the time in class because you sit behind him, and you just kick his chair whenever you want to get his attention. he leans back and catches your hands with his (they easily dwarf yours and he later tells you that your hands are adorable) and you make fun of him, "are you trying to hold my hands? simp." "yeah, i am!" is his immediate reply, though he can't meet your eyes after that and you end up getting more flustered.
childe brings food for you too. it's just one of the little ways he shows you affection, remembering your favourite and bringing an extra in his lunchbox just for you, it's genuinely so sweet. you always scold him and say that you need to repay him for all this, but he just laughs it off and tells you not to worry, after all, "you being my s/o kinda means i get to shower you in gifts. does that mean you're my sugar baby though?"
his entire family knows about you too! teucer especially likes you, and randomly gifts you cans of fizzy drinks from the vending machine, which you accept wholeheartedly with a lot of gratitude. you and teucer also bond over your shared love of the game genshin impact, and childe complains that teucer gets heart eyes whenever he talks to you about all the characters he has and that childe is really getting jealous. you reassure him that he's still your favourite no matter what, and that satisfies him.
you and childe have a private discord server just for the two of you, with multiple voice and text channels although you don't even really need them. one of the voice channels is named 'childe bullying' and that's the one you've spent the most time in, talking for hours and hours about the stupidest things yet when you're together they become the most interesting stories in the world. you also use the truth or dare bot and have a ton of fun forcing each other to answer the weirdest truth questions.
also, childe is a closeted romcom enjoyer, and you swear he's watched even more than you! he finishes them all so fast too and gives really good recommendations. it is slightly embarrassing though when he tells you to watch 'love chuunibyou and other delusions' and you haven't started it but he's already finished watching 'the pet girl of sakurasou' which you recommended last week. he also reads 'spy x family'! and it's so awesome for you to finally have someone to scream about it with, it makes you so happy that he likes it and you're even happier that he actually takes your recommendations into consideration.
for your birthday, childe gets you a necklace. it's stunning, though honestly if it was from him you'd have accepted a rock. but the fact is, he put so much thought and effort into this gift, shopping at jewelry stores for almost three months and messaging all your friends to confirm what they think you'd like, and eventually buying it and wrapping it and giving it to you. just to tease him, you ask childe to help you put it on, and although he nearly explodes while doing it he finally succeeds at fixing the clasp and promises it suits you perfectly.
and every time the two of you talk and laugh together, you're certain that you love childe, and that he loves you, and for the moment, that is the most wonderful feeling ever.
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a/n ; he also texts u stupid stuff that is somehow cute such as 'can we play val together (romantically)?' ahhh :(
© starglitterz 2022. do not repost or modify in any way.
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jkstompers · 4 years ago
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passing notes | jjk
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pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader
summary: a year of crushing and jungkook’s finally asked you out on a proper date. 
genre: classmates to lovers??!, established friendship, they go on a date <3, jk is so stressed out, !fancy restaurant warning!, jk is A GENTLEMAN!! but wbk, oc is a nerd but is BOLD AF!!
warnings: mature!! (18+!!), SMUT,...they make out, LOTS of built up tension is let out tonite!, fingering, praise kink, handjob, backseat action, semi-public sex?? very strong language, jk overuses the nickname ‘baby’
word count: 9k
author’s note: pt. 3 of seatmate!jk. WE’VE GOT SOME FILTH TODAY PPL!!!!!!! this is my first time releasing a piece of writing that has smut in it so pls!! let me know what u think!!! i’m open to criticism but i cry easily so… pls pls be nice (T▽T) LMAO!! i also completely made up the program for ocean scientists that oc talks about LMAO i just needed her to ramble for a bit hahahah
additional note: also pls imagine jungkook looking like this in class and then wearing this for their date. also if ur curious, this is what i imagined oc’s dress to look like :)
okay enjoy!! thank u ( ˘ ³˘)
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it was the end of the semester and of course, the only time jungkook would be running late to class was when he was finally going to ask you out on a date. so far, everything seems to be going against the idea. his alarm didn’t go off on time, the shower took way too long to warm up, and his car was low on gas. now he’s speed walking, almost running, to lecture to make sure that his seat next to you isn’t taken. 
he wants to make sure this goes perfectly. he spent the past two weeks stressing over the plans. asking for recommendations for nice restaurants in the city in almost every group chat he was in. his friend (the one with parents as ceo’s, eunwoo), helped him and got him a reservation at this one five star restaurant that jungkook’s never been to. eunwoo told him that it was the prettiest place he’s ever been to, said it would be perfect for a first date. 
jungkook specifically remembers you telling him that you’ve never gone on an actual dinner date. ice cream dates, movie theater dates, and amusement park dates were what you were used to. there was nothing wrong with that, it’s just that you’ve never experienced a candlelit dinner at a restaurant, that’s it. jungkook just wanted to be the first one to experience it with you. 
so when his morning starts off this shitty, he wonders if his plans are falling apart. he tries to keep a good, positive mindset, but he’s already so nervous and the universe seems to be telling him: don’t do it, she’ll reject you, you’re gonna look stupid in front of her. 
meanwhile, you’re early this lecture. it was the last class of the semester and you were hoping that you could get a nice conversation with jungkook in before it started. the two of you have gotten a lot closer since you last hung out. the chain of events starting with you apologizing for being so embarrassing, 
[12:44 pm] you: jungkook!!! oh my god i am so sorry for last night 😭
[12:45 pm] you: i don’t take alcohol very well 😖
[12:50 pm] jungkook: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
[12:50 pm] jungkook: no need to apologize! are u feeling sick? hungover? 
[12:52 pm] you: omg no not really
[12:52 pm] you: ur a great drinking buddy, i owe u one 🥺
[12:53 pm] jungkook: it’s alright cutie
[12:54 pm] jungkook: just happy ur feeling okay :) 
[12:56 pm] you: let me make it up to u 😭 i’ll buy us lunch one of these days? 
[12:57 pm] jungkook: ah no can do cutie 
[12:57 pm] jungkook: have to buy u dinner first 
the thought of the conversation makes you smile. that one conversation starting the domino effect of the two of you talking almost everyday for the past two weeks. you couldn’t help but expect jungkook to at least be here, but if he didn’t wanna come, then he didn’t have to. 
you sat in your seat, patiently waiting for the one next to you to be filled by him. the hall was starting to fill now and class was about to start. you look around one last time to see that jungkook is still nowhere to be seen, and that a familiar brown-haired guy was beginning to walk up to you. 
“hello, ___! is this seat taken?” taehyung smiles brightly, you look down at the seat next to you. your bag saving the spot for jungkook. maybe he skipped this lecture, since it was practically for nothing anyway, you’ve already taken the final and there was no other material to learn, it was more so to wrap things up and see if anyone still needed to understand something. 
your brain comes to a conclusion. you remove your bag and say, “no, go ahead,” to taehyung with a small smile on your face, one that hides the disappointment riddling your mind. 
it’s about five minutes after the professor starts talking when jungkook finally walks in. he looks up to try and find you as he walks up the steps of the auditorium. his eyes land on you and taehyung, chatting amongst yourselves. he can’t help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy, that’s his seat. even though there were no assigned seats, the place next to you was always his, that’s just how it was, and seeing someone else sitting there, especially taehyung, makes jungkook’s green monster pop out. 
you feel a presence step behind you while you were talking to taehyung, and before you know it, jungkook is sitting in the seat next to taehyung. “oh! good morning, jungkook!” you’re smiling to him. he doesn’t grant you one of his regular vocal responses, rather he gives you a tight-lipped grin before he leans back into his chair and focuses on whatever the professor was saying. 
maybe he was jealous. witnessing you and taehyung having a wonderful conversation, one that makes you smile and laugh like he does. you didn’t even notice him when he came up the stairs, only greeting him when he sat down. no, he was definitely jealous. 
you’re stealing glances his way, pretending to be interested in whatever taehyung is talking about. he’s wearing the most boyfriend-est outfit in the world. a white long sleeve with grey sweatpants, his long hair tied up in a ponytail. you’re unconsciously biting your lip as you stare at him, he’s just so cool. he’s not even doing much other than looking straight forward. but this angle lets you see his sharp jawline and his side profile perfectly. 
you felt bad, one hundred percent. you should have told taehyung that the seat was taken, because now he was talking your ear off and you didn’t mind it, but you wanted someone else to be talking your ear off and it was the guy sitting next to him. 
when taehyung changes his focus to your professor talking about a summer he had in paris. you steal another glance at jungkook. you catch him staring at you, your eyes meet. he doesn’t keep the connection, cutting it off by moving his head and looking straight ahead. his jaw clenches, arms coming over and across his chest. he seems angry, you pick up on the energy now. an idea pops in your head to try and make him feel better. reaching into your bag to find one of your index cards, writing a message on it. 
feeling okay? 
you scoot your chair back a bit, pretending to stretch as you tap jungkook’s shoulder. he turns his head to you, eyebrows raised. you hand him the paper. he stares at first, eyes flickering between you and the paper. reluctantly, he takes it, unfolding his crossed arms to receive the note. you scoot back into your seat and lean into the table, lowering your chin onto the desk. 
jungkook tries to hide his smile as he reads your little note. how could he ever stay mad at you? it wasn’t your fault he was late. so he replies, his black ink has a stark contrast against your green highlighter. he can already feel his bad mood brightening. 
yeah, didn’t save me a seat? :( 
this time he folds the note, handing it to taehyung and telling him to pass it to you. “really? you’re passing notes? we’re in college, jeon.” taehyung snickers as he slides the paper towards you. 
you let a small laugh, reading the note. taehyung’s scolding continues as you write your response on the index card. you changed your green highlighter out with a blue pen. 
i came super early :( waited 20 mins for u </3 but i didn’t think u were coming so i let taehyung sit here 
you send it back and watch jungkook’s somewhat straight face contort into a smile. there it is, the smile that you know and love. 
jungkook on the other hand could cry. you came early. you waited for him. god, had he royally fucked this up. he makes his mind up now. 
i’m sorry :( let me make it up to u? can i take you out on a date tonight? 
check: ◯  yes ◯ no 
jungkook keeps the paper for a good minute, reading the note over and over again, thinking about how childish this way of asking is. but at the same time, jungkook knows that if he talks to you about it after class, he’ll gloss over the words and never ask you. letting the reservation and plans he made weeks ago render themselves useless. it was now or never. 
so he fully sends it, tapping your shoulder and giving it to you directly. you open the note and scan the words, sending him the sweetest look he’s ever received in his life. he thinks that would be a yes. he hopes. you write something onto the card and pass it back to him, your hand grazing his for a second. 
⚫ yes :) ♡ ◯ no 
the rest of the class passes pretty quickly. not that you were paying any attention. jungkook had emailed you a link to a game that the two of you could play, a weird version of snakes. jungkook kept cheating, you swore it, but in all honesty, you knew you couldn’t compete when it came to jungkook and his computer games. a clap from the professor breaks your attention from your screen, “alright, that was the last class of anatomy 101!” he then goes on a two minute long speech thanking the entire class for their great work this past year. he ends his ment with, “good luck and make good decisions! have a fun summer!” 
you take your time packing your things, a little too long for someone that just has a laptop to put into their bag. taehyung says goodbye to the both of you and leaves first, the seat in between you both empty. now it was just the two of you. a small blush creeps onto your cheeks. you were well past your high school crush phase, but jungkook makes you feel so shy again. 
you try to hide it by speaking first, “so, a date?” 
he sends you that award winning smile that makes you swoon. “yeah, did you change your mind?” 
you shake your head. “is it casual? fancy? want me to wear a dress again?” you tease, finally pushing your computer into your bag and standing. 
jungkook gulps. you looked so pretty that night in a dress. “fancy,” he answers, “you can wear a dress if you want, pantsuits are cool too— whatever you want.” he finishes packing as well, standing next to you as you both begin to walk down the stairs. 
“okay then,” you smile. “what time should i be ready?” 
“i’ll come and pick you up at seven, is that okay?” he replies, hand in his pockets. you both make your way out of the room and start to move towards the parking lot. 
“sounds good,” you nod, approaching your car. jungkook walks you to your door, his eyes focused on your sweet smile and your eyes. if jungkook didn’t know any better, he would have thought you were leaning closer towards him. a small laugh leaves your throat. “see you later, kookie.” 
he sends you a smile, the nickname tugging at his heartstrings. the realization hits him after you’ve already driven away and he’s sitting in the driver seat of his car. an embarrassing blush covers his face, he takes a deep breath and laughs to himself. finally. a year of crushing and he’s finally asked you on a proper date. 
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jungkook is quite frankly, freaking the fuck out. he isn’t sure what to wear and his hair isn’t working with him. the long strands seemingly out to make his life a living hell when he tries to style it. one strand always looks out of place, or the way that it parts doesn’t sit right. he’s pacing his bathroom, debating if he should just shower again and take all the stupid fucking product out of his hair. 
he gives in after ten minutes of deliberation. a quick shower removing all the wax and gel from his hair. the ends of his hair dripping when he goes to check his phone, the time reading: 6:45. he was gonna be late to pick you up. now he’s full on panicking. he has no other choice then to skip the hair product all together and just let his hair dry and part on it’s own. he slides on his all black fancy outfit he had planned out just in case the first one didn’t work out. he steps out of his apartment after grabbing his car keys, wallet, and the flowers he bought earlier in the day for you. 
a friend of his works in a flower shop. jungkook remembers you saying  that you like all flowers and that you couldn’t choose if you had to. so his friend asked what you were like, trying to figure out a way to style the bouquet without knowing your favorites. jungkook said the general things; you’re sweet like an apple, probably sweeter, like candy. you’re so pretty, it’s blessing that he’s able to lay his eyes upon you. you’re smart, too smart for him to flirt stupidly like he always does, ‘cause you outsmart him and flirt with him back in a wittier way. you’re— that was enough information, his friend told him he was babbling again. jungkook only had to wait ten minutes for his friend to finish fixing up a beautiful bouquet for you. 
the bouquet is placed on the passenger seat as he starts his car, texting you when he realizes it’s almost five minutes until 7. 
[6:54 pm] jungkook: fuck 
[6:54 pm] jungkook: i’m gonna be a little late
[6:55 pm] jungkook: i swear i’m not standing u up
[6:55 pm] jungkook: ok i’m putting my phone down to drive to u now, sorry cutie!! 
[6:57 pm] you: ah okay! 
[6:57 pm] you: i was getting a little worried haha
[6:58 pm] you: see u in a bit <3
jungkook drives safely, but efficiently to your apartment. the drive only taking about five minutes because the stop lights were gracing him with green lights his entire way to you. he parks right in front, grabbing the flowers and hopping out of the car. when he knocks on your door, he starts to feel his nerves work against him. the adrenaline from rushing here gave him enough energy to hype himself up, but now as he’s standing here at your door, waiting for you to answer, his throat starts to dry and his hands start to sweat. 
the metal door slides open, revealing you. in your silk dress, draping over your body in the most flattering way. the neckline deliciously hangs down to reveal your cleavage ever so slightly and the slit on the dress, displaying your thigh teasingly. jungkook is speechless at his first glance at you. his eyebrows raise and his mouth drops open, catching himself drooling once you step out from your apartment. 
“h— hi, you look— wow,” he stumbles over his words, taking a step back to admire you once again. “you’re fucking stunning.”  
you brush your hair back behind your ear, your hand covering the blush covering your cheeks. “thank you, you look very handsome, jungkook.” you reach out and play with his black tie. he looks down when you do, remembering that he was holding a bouquet of flowers for you. 
he holds them out, “these are for you.” like a kid giving his crush a dandelion he picked from the grass. 
“these are gorgeous, jungkook! thank you.” you look up to him with your signature sweet eyes, the ones that never fail to make him melt. “just give me one sec, i’ll put these down and then we can go?” you ask, holding onto the bouquet and waiting for him to respond. a quick nod is all you need to open your door and place them in the fridge. you come out a few seconds later, locking your door and standing by jungkook again. 
“that was fast,” he comments. he holds his arm out for you to hold, which you gratefully take. 
“i just put them in the fridge, my grandma showed me the trick, it helps them live a little longer,” you explain. the two of you walking out to his parked car. he never lets your hand touch the handle, always opening the door for you. 
“when they die, i’ll just buy you new ones.” closing the door for you and making his way to the drivers seat. 
you scrunch your nose. when he comes back and joins you in the car, you voice your worry. “it’s kind of a waste, don’t you think?” 
he shakes his head, “if it’s for you, nothing’s a waste.” 
jungkook was a professional with his words. always rendering you speechless. 
with that he starts the car and begins driving into the busier part of seoul. he makes his way into the restaurants parking garage, the building looks to be about five stories. the architecture itself looks expensive, you wonder where jungkook is taking you tonight. he parks the car, turning off the engine, and moving to open the door for you. he takes your hand and you hold onto your dress, fixing it once you get out of the car. god, you’re so pretty. he was so nervous. 
“ready, my lady?” he smiles, his arm out for you to hold. 
it makes you laugh, a snort almost. “i’ve never seen you so proper, mr. jeon.” 
“only for you,” he winks. your heels click against the concrete floor as he leads the two of you into the building. the high ceilings and multiple chandeliers are what greet you first, the brightness of the place giving the sun something to rival. jungkook brings you over to the waiting area, telling you to wait for a minute as he checks you guys in. 
this was crazy to say the least. the last time you went on a date, it was to the movie theaters. you’ve never been in a place like this; a doorman greeting every guest as they walk in, checking in to eat, multi-story, etc. the more you look around, the cooler it is. “let’s go?” jungkook’s voice makes you turn your head. you stand, taking his hand. 
the two of you follow a man wearing a black and white suit, with a long tail jacket. he brings you to the elevators, holding the doors open for you both. you step in and he presses the fifth button, which was the top floor. you squeeze jungkook’s hand. he repeats the action, looking to you and silently asking if you were okay with the look in his eyes and the raise of his eyebrows. you nod, a smile on your face. 
with that the elevator doors open, the metal doors sliding apart to reveal a private terrace. only a couple tables on the entire floor. a few people sitting down and enjoying their dinners. beautiful greenery surrounding the perimeter, the night sky only making it prettier. your mouth is left agape, you’re stuck in the elevator, speechless. jungkook gently tugs you forward, following the suit man to the table. 
jungkook pulls your chair out for you. you could cry at the chivalry. you sit and he pushes the chair in, jungkook follows soon, sitting in the chair across from you. the man hands the two of you the menu and moves away from the table, standing back near to the elevator, waiting until you are both ready to order. 
“this is fucking crazy,” you whisper-shout. the terrace was lit by these bright fairy lights that were hidden in the plants and were above the tables as well. it looked like little fairies and fire flies were in the air, roaming around. 
“i know right!” jungkook looked as surprised as you were. “i asked my friends for some help and holy shit!” 
“they know you’re on a date with me right now?” you ask, raising your eyebrows. 
to this he furrows his eyebrows, “of course they do, i talk about you all the time—”but he stops himself from exposing himself any further. you can’t help but giggle. “i mean, i asked them to help me make this special, and here we are.” 
you swoon. he’s so sweet for planning all of this out and wanting to make you feel special. the two of you look through the menu, jungkook warns you not to look at the prices, telling you to get whatever you want because the price doesn’t matter. but of course, your eyes stray to the numbers, the meals costing a pretty penny for a simple spaghetti plate, the cheapest thing on there. you were craving pasta anyway, you didn’t mind. the two of you order and wait for the food to arrive. 
the city of seoul was just below you, not too high but high enough to turn people into smaller figures of themselves. the night lights look gorgeous from up here. the warm summer night only complimenting the gorgeous atmosphere. 
“the view is so pretty,” you gaze out into the city. the pretty colors from all the lights of the different stores and restaurants complementing each other so beautifully. 
jungkook was in awe, he knows that the city below you is gorgeous, but he can’t seem to get his eyes off of you. your chin resting in the palm of your hand as your eyes search through the streets. “yeah…” he agrees, “very beautiful.” he smiles, only looking at you. 
the food comes and you both dig in. the two of you enjoy some conversation with each other as you eat. the topic of growing up comes up, both of you explaining the occupations you wanted, and you said something that sparked curiosity in jungkook. “your childhood dream was to live in california?” he smiles, chewing on his steak. most of the time kids dream about going to the moon or finding atlantis, but you wanted to go to america? 
you nod, “sounds funny right? when i was a teen, i watched a lot of 90210.” 
“is that all though? you only wanted to go because of a tv show?” he asks. there’s something you’re hiding, and jungkook can see it in the way that you hide your smile. 
at first, you hesitate, but you open your mouth to speak, “well— there is— no, it’s embarrassing.” you shake your head, changing your mind and reverting your eyes down. staring at the plate of pasta in front of you. guys you talked to didn’t wanna hear about it, they thought what you were into was boring, embarrassing almost. a part of you feared that jungkook would feel the same. 
you feel his hand on your chin, tilting your head up. “i wanna hear about it.” his face telling you the truth, the sincerity in his eyes as he patiently waits for you to explain. 
“there’s this science program in california, they explore new ideas for researching the ocean, like trying to see what lurks in the deep blue, helping fix the rising oceans, everything-- oh my god, and they like go on field trips to different countries to see the coastlines and historical sites—” you cut yourself off when you realize that you’re talking at the speed of light. “i’m rambling.” you were terrified to see his reaction. 
but when your eyes finally meet jungkook’s, they’re full of light. and his smile is so big. “dude, that’s so dope!” he grins, “i didn’t know you were so into the ocean!” 
it was the bare minimum, being nice, but that was hard to find when it came to the majority of the male species. obviously, jungkook is above average, he only proves that the more time you spend with him. 
“oh, i love it! my parents would bring me to the beach and i would cry every time we would have to leave, aquariums too, and the fish section in the pet stores.” you gush, leaning into the table to tell jungkook more. he leans into his hand, resting his cheek against his fist as he listens to you spill your knowledge and love. 
he notes that the next date should be at the beach or an aquarium. it was a great time for him to learn this, especially since it was summer. the weather in favor of the cold ocean waves. jungkook swears he can listen to you talk until the end of time. your sweet voice can be the narration to his life, he’d never get sick of it. 
the food on both of your plates had been cleared, the conversation sizzling into a comfortable silence before the man came back to give you the bill. jungkook doesn’t let you see it, instead just sticking his card in the black folder thing, and giving it back to the fancy suit man. it wasn’t long before he came back, handing jungkook back his card and giving the both of you a lollipop with gold flakes encased inside. 
you gasp at the piece of candy, now that was ridiculous. you weren’t one to reject a lollipop though, gratefully taking the candy and popping it into your mouth. jungkook does the same. it tastes of blueberry. at this point he stands up, moving in front of you and holding his hand out to you. “let’s look around? i heard they have a cool museum on the second floor.” 
you take his hand, “i love museums!” the two of you make your way to the elevator, the man (he never told you his name) kept the door open for you both. he presses the second floor button when jungkook asks him for the museum. the elevator landing on the second floor, the doors slide open to show a completely empty art hall. this place shocking you every chance it gets. you didn’t think it could get better, but it did. 
when the two of you exit the elevator, the man leaves you to it, taking the elevator down and leaving you alone. your eyes scan the place, huge paintings on the walls, small paintings in collages, some sculptures on the floor, it felt like a pop-up museum. you both make your way down the enormous hallway, both sides of the room’s wall displaying works of art. you stop at one specific painting, the familiar work has you spewing random facts. “these are the lovers! i had to analyze this once,” you speak. the art displaying a couple kissing, both of their heads covered by a white sheet. “the real one is in australia, i think.” you laugh, tapping the lollipop against your lips. 
jungkook listens intently, but he doesn’t pay attention to the painting on the wall. everytime he does, his eyes always revert to you. the art doesn’t stand a chance against you in his book. you, yourself, were a piece of art, one that was rare in this world, one of a kind. 
he can’t seem to resist. taking your hand and raising it over your head, the way that they do in ballroom dancing. if a twirl was what he wanted, then so he got it. “beautiful,” he compliments, pulling you in close for a hug. the two of you swaying in the middle of the hall of this stupidly expensive restaurant. 
you look up to him, making full eye contact as the two of you lean on one foot to the other. probably looking like a lovesick couple, getting lost in the moment. which, you were. your eyes flicker from his eyes down to his lips, he seems to do the same thing. his hand moves to caress your face, the swaying ceased. now the two of you are centimeters apart, noses brushing against each other. if jungkook doesn’t kiss you now, he thinks he’ll combust. so when he feels you pushing forward, he does the same, meeting you in the middle. your lips connect. the kiss almost identical to the painting in front of you. 
jungkook swears he felt himself levitating. your lips are sweet, the blueberry flavor of the lollipop lingering on them. he’s had his fair share of kisses in his life. makeouts, pecks, cheek kisses, all types of kisses. but something about this one tells him that he’s in for it. he’ll never be able to get enough now that he’s gotten a taste. 
neither of you want to take it too far; swallowing each other's faces in a distinguished, five star restaurant’s museum didn’t seem very proper. so the two of you make your way out of the building, thanking everyone at the front desk, especially the man that helped you out today, and walking into the parking garage where jungkook’s car was. 
when you get to his car, he moves to open the passenger door for you but you stop him with a hand on his arm. you reach to open the back door handle and his eyes almost bulge out. everyone knows what happens in the backseat, and jungkook did not prepare himself for something like this. 
you look up at him with the most innocent eyes, but there’s something devious hidden in your smile when you ask, “do you wanna talk for a bit longer? in the backseat? it’s more comfortable than sitting in the front.” 
jungkook never took you for someone this bold. it’s either you didn’t know the meaning of the backseat (which was totally fine) or you knew very well, and had plans to devour jungkook (which was also totally fine).
he chickens out, his hands starting to sweat. “do you want to just go for a little walk or something?” it’s not like jungkook didn’t want anything to happen, it’s that he did. if he starts, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever recover from it. he walks a tightrope around you when it comes to his self control. one wrong move, and he’s terrified that he’ll fuck everything up. 
“oh, it’s just my feet kinda hurt from these heels.” you pout, lifting you foot up to show him the almost stiletto heel. 
his eyes widen. why didn’t he think of that? “oh— oh shit, i didn’t even— yeah, let’s sit.” he tugs on the door, letting you slide into the back seat. he follows, leaving a good amount of space between you both to make sure that there was nothing too suspicious going on. you hope your bold moves hide your nervousness, despite your confidence, jungkook’s unsure looks make you want to curl up into a ball. did he not want this? 
the air was different now. in the restaurant the two of you had been so carefree, slow dancing in the museum, and landing a sweet kiss on each other’s lips. but now, an uncomfortable silence tears at the two of you. your hesitance makes you speak, trying to see if a conversation would ease the tension in the air. “i had a lot of fun tonight, kookie, thank you.” 
it seems to comfort jungkook, he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. with a small smile on his face he replies, “me too, i was really nervous you wouldn’t like the food.” 
“oh it was good! i’ll eat anything really, it’s just—“
“you didn’t like the place? was it too much—“
“no, jungkook, oh my god— i loved it, it was just really expensive, i still feel really bad about you paying for all of it,” you look to him seriously. “let me give you at least my half?” 
he shakes his head, “i asked you out on this date, it means i pay, don’t worry about the price.” 
you roll your eyes playfully, “big spender huh?”
a pretty laugh escapes his lips. “hard worker too.” 
to this you smile, you stare at his impossibly-perfect face, noticing a stray eyelash on his cheek. you see a chance to strike and you take it immediately. you lean forward to swipe it off. jungkook almost leans into your touch. he’s so terrified that he’ll embarrass himself right now, so he’s been holding back tremendously. but the way you pick the eyelash off and place it on your thumb with a smile on your face, it eases most of the tension in his chest. 
“make a wish!” you hold your thumb up to his lips. his eyes cross to look at the piece of hair on your finger, but nevertheless he obliged. shutting his eyes tight, making a wish, and blowing the eyelash off of your thumb. 
you let out a small cheer before you ask him, “what’d you wish for?” 
“if i told you then my wish wouldn’t come true, right?” he boops your nose. suddenly, jungkook doesn’t feel so nervous. his nerves calming at the feeling of your soft hands against his face. you make him so nervous, but at the same time you make him so comfortable and make him want to be himself. it seems as though the two of you were staring at each other for a while. jungkook was thinking about how much he likes you, the same ideas run through your mind. the thoughts make you wish for something more. 
“can i kiss you again, kookie?” 
he stares at you, weighing his options. if he kisses you now, then he has to strategically only give you a few kisses, he absolutely cannot make out with you, or else, jungkook will succumb to his desires.
but he takes a little too long to respond. the both of you overthinking the fuck out of the situation. it makes you draw back. “it’s okay if you don’t want—“ 
“no, no, please, kiss me,” he brings you back, moving closer to you. licking his lips in anticipation as you slowly push forward, closing the gap between you both. the kiss is so sweet, like the one in the museum. jungkook can still taste the blueberry lingering on your lips. he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of kissing you. 
you pull away first. your eyes scanning his face to see any expression of regret. there’s none. his hand moves to the side of your face, caressing your face and bringing you to him once again to meet your lips. he can’t get enough. “tell me what you wished for, please,” you speak against his lips. 
he smiles into the kiss. he wasn’t going to tell you, but since you were asking so nicely, he gives you a kiss on the cheek when he answers, “i wished for a second date.” 
“oh, didn’t you know?” you kiss both of his cheeks before speaking again, “i grant wishes,” with wink.
“fuck, you’re so cute,” he thinks out loud, it makes you blush. pink cheeks out for show and jungkook thinks you look even cuter. he dives in for one more kiss, telling himself this will be the last one, but when you make sweet noises against his lips, it has him wanting more. hands moving down to your waist, pulling you in and letting you climb onto his lap. he pulls away first, trying to get a hold of himself. “i uh— actually, didn’t plan for this to happen,“ he mumbles against your skin, tripping over his words. 
you look down, arms wrapped around his neck. “hm? what did you plan?” 
“we were supposed to kiss on the next date i take you on and i didn’t think— we’re just ahead of schedule, that’s all.” jungkook tries to explain that he didn’t want to rush it, god no. he wanted to take his time, make sure that you didn’t feel pressured to do anything. but now, it seems like you’re taking the wheel and jungkook doesn’t mind it one bit.
“oh so you had like a real plan? like times and everything?” the thought of it makes you laugh, and the way that jungkook flushes makes you want to pinch his cheeks. 
he pouts when you giggle, “don’t laugh, i just really, really wanted to do it right, you’re just so amazing and i didn’t wanna fuck it up.”
you smile at his concern. the fact that you have the uni heartthrob planning dates in his head down to the details and wanting to be sure he does it right makes your head spin. you hope jungkook doesn’t notice the way that your heart is beating three times the normal rate when you go to kiss him again. the only sounds in the car are labored breaths and your lips smacking together. it doesn’t take long before you’re grinding into him. his growing bulge rubbing against your soaking core. a groan leaving him when you grind particularly harder, his hands moving to your ass to grip it. you melt in his arms, small whimpers leaving your throat as jungkook drinks them up
you pull away from his lips, giving his cheeks attention then leaving a trail of kisses as you make your way to his ear. one final kiss is planted below his earlobe before you whisper, “am i ruining your plans, kookie?” 
jungkook tries his best to conceal his groan, tries his best to ignore his incredibly hard dick in his jeans, but you’re so pretty and you’re on top of him, kissing him. it feels like a dream to jungkook. it is quite literally a dream come true. 
he was already playing with fire, your body a flame in the cold, he moves closer and closer until he burns. “fuck plans,” he breathes. a hand comes back to caress your face once again. filthy thoughts flooding his brain. he wonders what being in between your legs is like, what you sound like when you cum. he wants to make you cry and beg for his cock. but he holds himself back, knowing that you’ll have time to try everything out, if you wanted of course. he leans the both of you forward, his large hands splayed on your back to secure you on his lap. your lips find each other once more. “can i touch you?” he asks so sweetly, a hidden poison weaving through that you can slightly hear through the deep rumble of his voice. 
you’ve never wanted anything more. “please,” you nod. your lips chasing his when he pulls further away. 
jungkook smiles at the action. “lay on my lap, baby.” he instructs, tapping your thigh. the nickname rolling off his tongue, his voice seemingly dropping an entire octave. you raise your leg and move it over to sit on his lap, sideways. your back against the car door and his right hand rubbing your thighs ever so gently. 
“like this?” you ask, looking to him for reassurance. he looks to you with eyes that you’ve never seen, lusted and dark. 
“mhm, perfect,” he nods. “good girl.” the praise goes straight to your belly, your panties flooding from how much you want him. his hands move slowly down your inner thighs as he goes in to kiss you again. 
you’re absentmindedly spreading your legs, making room for him. he smirks against your lips when he realizes. he knows what you want, so his fingers move to your panties, lightly putting pressure over your clothed bud. you whimper at the feeling, biting his lip in the process. he moans in response, putting a little more pressure against your bundle of nerves. 
“jungkook,” you whine, pulling away from his lips, “please.” 
“please what, baby?” he kisses your cheek, “tell me what you want.”  
“please touch me, please.” you beg, making eye contact with him. jungkook’s dick twitches at the sound of your begging. he wanted to string you along a little longer, but you’re being so good. 
“since you asked so nicely, baby,” he obliges. bunching your dress up around your waist and noticing the pretty black lace underwear you were wearing, “for me?” he asks. you nod, your teeth taking in your bottom lip. he groans at the thought, you getting ready and picking out these cute, risque panties out just for him. it’s just too bad they’re gonna be on the floor on his car. he’s gonna need to ask for a rain check on admiring you and your cute underwear later.  
you lift your hips to help him, underwear coming off to reveal your soaking pussy. “oh, fuck,” jungkook murmurs at the sight of it. “you’re so wet baby.” he almost starts drooling, he can’t wait to taste you, but he’s still hesitant, only wanting to do what you want to. next time, he can eat you out. right now, he’ll admire the delicious sight and make you cum on his fingers. 
your eyes travel to the window directly in front of you, suddenly feeling insecure. thighs closing, thinking about how someone could look in and see. “what about the windows—“ 
“they’re tinted, no one can see from the outside in, i promise.” he reassures, giving you another sweet kiss on the cheek before asking, “do you still want to do this? we can stop now.” he’s so lovely, his concern and change in demeanor only making you want it more, knowing that he wouldn’t want to push you to do something you were uncomfortable with. sweet was sexy on jungkook. you never thought there would be a day that jeon jungkook fingers you in a parking lot of a five star restaurant, but here you are. and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 
so you shake your head, taking his hand, and placing it back in between your legs. “please.” 
“anything for you.” he whispers in your ear before running his middle finger up your slit, collecting your wetness, and spreading it around your clit. he continues making tight circles on your clit, the sensation drives you crazy. you lean your head back against the window, moaning out. it was almost humiliating how reactive you were, you hadn’t indulged in this kind of intimacy in a while, almost a year to be specific. 
it wasn’t helping that jungkook was a fucking pro. the right amount of pressure and the placement of his digits against you has you dripping onto his nice, dress pants. you hoped nobody else was in the parking garage, else they would hear your cries of jungkook’s name. “more, kookie, more— fuck.” 
“more baby?” he questions, the sound of your moans going straight to his already hard dick. he thinks he could cum just to the sound of your voice. he’s one hundred percent fucked when it comes to you. he dips his middle finger into your hole, you gasp in reaction. “like that? hmm? ” 
jungkook knew was he was doing, he had you spread wide in the backseat of his car, already on the verge on an orgasm. he had a few years of experience on his belt, a ‘retired fuck boy’ he was, but he’s never wanted to please somebody more than he does right now with you. you just looked so pretty like this, so eager and begging for more. 
he adds his ring finger now, his thumb against your clit. “oh, god—“ you mutter, the feeling of his fingers and his thumb on your clit is too good. his fingers fucking you better than anyone else’s dick ever has. you found yourself bucking your hips against his fingers. “kookie, kiss me, please,” you look up to him with the eyes he can never fucking deny. so he kisses you, drinking up your moans as you fuck yourself up onto his fingers. 
“i didn’t know you were such a dirty girl,” he murmurs against your lips. your walls clenching around him, “letting me touch you like this in the backseat of my car?” his usual sweet demeanor now contorting into this cocky guy with an ego. it makes you even wetter. the squelch of your pussy every time his fingers push in is loud, the sound is music to jungkook’s ears. 
“only— only for you, jungkook,” you whimper.  you feel a familiar knot in your stomach tighten. he looked so hot like this. eager to please. his bottom lip caught in his teeth and a strand of his long hair dangling in front of his eyes. 
“good girl, all mine,” he kisses your neck. it may seem just like something you say during sex, but jungkook wanted it to be true. wanted you and only you. all to himself. he makes his way to a sweet spot, the feeling makes you tilt your head, giving him more access to kiss and suck along the sensitive skin. the discomfort of your back against the hard door was the last of your worries. your orgasm creeping closer and closer, juices leaking all overs his fingers. “so wet baby,” he growls, “i know i could just slide in, fuck you so good.” 
“p-please, i want it.” the thought of jungkook fucking you senseless, oh, you’d go crazy. begging wasn’t something you did when it came to sex, most of the time it was quiet, moans and breaths were the only things that you’d hear, no dirty words or praises. it was a good change, you never thought that you’d be so into being talked through it. 
he smiles at your eagerness, “patience baby, gotta take you on another date, yeah?” kissing your pursed lips. always so sweet and lovely. 
you feel his fingers push a little deeper, curling to find that sweet spot inside of you. your reaction does something to him, makes him hit the exact same spot, over and over again, in a slow, torturous beat just so he can draw those delicious gasps and moans out of you. jungkook feels close. he’s never felt like this before, so wound up. he ignores it, pushing it to the back of his head to focus on helping you reach your climax. 
lucky for jungkook, he didn’t have to wait very long. his fingers were longer and a thicker than yours, his efforts making you get there faster than you ever could. the consistent deep strokes of his fingers make the warning signals go off in your head. you speak a verbal warning before, “fuck, i’m gonna cum,” your voice pitches a little higher than usual. 
“gonna cum all over my fingers, baby?” he gives you one last sloppy kiss before you’re moaning out and coming onto his fingers, eyes screwed shut as your walls convulse rapidly as his fingers fuck you through your orgasm. “fuck, you’re so hot, ___.” 
you feel a smile break on your face. “you’re not so bad yourself,” you wink, still trying to catch your breath. a laugh slips from his mouth, small smirk on his mouth to match. he slips his fingers out, your body twitching at the over stimulation. 
 “i’m sorry, baby,” he apologizes. inspecting his fingers, your pale almost-white cum coating the digits. he brings them to his mouth, sucking on your sweet sap. you’ve never seen anything hotter in your life. “sweet, just like you,” he smirks. you shrink in his stare, hiding your blush. like you totally didn’t just cum on his fingers. 
you’re distracted by the feeling of something hard resting under your thigh, it’s then that you realize, “what about—“ you start but jungkook cuts you off quick. 
“no, no, it’s okay, it’ll go away soon.” he shakes his head, but you furrow your eyebrows. 
you pull on his black tie, making him lean forward and make eye contact with you “can i?” you ask, so sweetly. 
he stares at you with the most sexed eyes you’ve ever witnessed. “you’re driving me crazy.” 
“you’re always so sweet to me, jungkook,” you kiss his cheek. readjusting yourself in his lap, straddling him once more. “took me on this amazing dinner, always treating me like a princess.” your lips travel down from his cheeks to his jawline, then to his neck. he shudders at the feeling of your lips against his sensitive skin. your hands move from around his neck to travel further down, to the latch of his belt. his breath hitches. “let me return the favor, kookie.”
“i—“ he laughs, the embarrassment evident in the pink tint on his face. “i won’t last very long.” 
you didn’t mind, just assuring him with a sweet kiss on the cheek before you start removing his belt. jungkook leans his head back on the headrest, his neck exposed for you to kiss and suck. you unbutton and unzip, pulling his pants and his boxers down at the same time. his size makes your eyes bulge. he was huge. your mouth waters at the sight. 
“you’re so big, kook.” you egg him on, fueling his ego because he just looked so hot. your hand moves to hold him at the base, he lets out a shaky breath when your soft skin meets his. jungkook’s head is in the clouds, he could cum right now if he let go, but he’s holds himself back, not wanting to look like a fool in front of you. your hand moves up his dick, your thumb collecting the precum dripping from his hole, your thumb running over his slit as he groans. 
his hips buck up, “shit, baby.” he just sounds so good. you could just lick him up. you collect some saliva in your mouth, letting it drip from your mouth onto his dick to lube your hand. he groans at the sight, “you’re so filthy, baby, holy shit.” 
you smirk at the admission, the spit making it so easy for your hand to glide against his cock. the feeling makes him throw his head back again. his chest rising and falling.  the picture of him with his eyes screwed shut in pleasure and his mouth agape makes your lower belly light up once more, you clench around nothing. leaning in as you pump his cock to whisper in his ear, “wanna fuck me so bad? have me crying on your cock? you want that, don’t you, kookie?” 
jungkook twitches at your words. that’s exactly what he wants. was he that easy to read? was that what you wanted too? the thought of it makes him want to explode, “oh— god, ffuck— fuck,” he sputters. his hand coming up to hover above his head, your hand still pumping as the spurts of his cum shoot out. you smile at the action, knowing he didn’t wanna fuck up your dress. instead just making a mess of him and his hand. he takes deep breaths before speaking, “there’s a little box of tissues in the center console, could you hand it to me, baby?” 
you lean back, opening the console and reaching for the small box that sits in the center. before you give it to him, your eyes flicker to the sticky mess all over jungkook’s hand and groin. a sudden urge to lick takes you over, holding jungkook’s hand and bringing it up to your mouth. you lick the dripping cum from the palm of his hand as he watches, maintaining eye contact the entire time. 
jungkook shivers, a smile creeping on his face, “you— you’re evil.” the remark makes you laugh. 
“sorry, just wanted to help clean up.” you smile, swallowing the cum you collected on your tongue. 
“yeah, yeah, you’re not the sweet girl i thought you were,” jungkook quirks a brow. 
you roll your eyes playfully, “you don’t like it?” 
“nope, i love it, you’re perfect.” jungkook wipes off the remaining mess from his lap and his hand. you help him clean up tissues and he picks up your panties that were discarded on the floor. the two of you fix yourselves before stepping out of the back seat, jungkook opens the passenger door for you before he goes to a trashcan and throws away the soiled tissues. 
he joins you back in the car, starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot. you were rambling about how happy you were that no one was around and how there were no security cameras in the parking garage. jungkook blabbers too, telling you about how embarrassed he is that he barely lasted a few minutes. before the two of you knew it, his car parked in front of your apartment complex. 
he stands outside of your front door, leaning against the doorframe. all dreamy and not like he just made you cum in the backseat of his car. “text me before you sleep?” he smiles. 
you nod, “of course,” reflecting the same smile. you wave before closing your door. the date being more than you ever expected. there was no way jungkook was real. he had to be a figment of your imagination, he was the absolute dream guy. 
you lay in bed, staring at the stars on your ceiling. a blush creeping up to your cheeks once more when you think about the events that took place tonight. 
[11:02 pm] you: thank you for tonight, jungkook 
[11:02 pm] you: it was magical <3 
[11:03 pm] jungkook: no problem cutie, i had an amazing time with you
[11:04 pm] jungkook: feeling okay? 
[11:06 pm] you: i’m great!!! more than okay
[11:07 pm] jungkook: 😂
[11:07 pm] jungkook: i’m glad cutie
[11:08 pm] you: lunch on me next time? now that you’ve taken me for dinner :) 
[11:08 pm] jungkook: sure, i’m down :) 
[11:09 pm] you: i’m rlly tired kookie 
[11:10 pm] you: gonna head to sleep now 
[11:10 pm] jungkook: alright cutie 
[11:11 pm] jungkook: sweet dreams! 
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。゚(゚^O^゚)゚。 tag list: @giadalin @ggukkieland
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