#femininity isnt inherently good

[snortoborto]

I'm so over the victimhood complex of feminine cis women.

Gender diversity isn't a threat. Diversity in gender presentation isn't a threat.

Femininity is not equivalent to purity and innocence.

Femininity can still be harmful when enforced on people who don't want it. Women and feminine people can still do harm. Femininity can still be weaponized, especially white femininity.

[angel---eater]

i truly have no tolerance for this fandom shittin on random fans personal trans headcanons. someone saw themselves and their experience in this character, isnt that beautiful? why dont you mind your business and focus on your own fan stuff? wouldnt that make you happier? someones headcanon doesnt negate yours. what the fuck is wrong with yall. its playing make believe x2. its just a headcanon. real life trans folks are in active danger right now and some of yall are wasting all your energy abusing others over which pronoun set figments of someone elses imagination 'should' be using

[swallowtail-ageha]

God last bnha chapter was so fucking dogshit i cant even anymore like i feel like im going insane reading all the "precious brave bean eri" comments. No critical thinking whatshowever. No one stopping to realize that maybe the mutilation trauma six year old mutilating herself forever as a "payback" for what the hero whose job is literally saving people did to help her isn't actually thematically good.

Maybe cheering this kid losing her power forever because she felt so much pressured by the situation the adults have been pushing her in while having just started elementary school because "she won't be exploited anymore" isnt a good thing because it spits in the face of the conclusion to her arc which is hinged on her realizing that her quirk isnt inherently evil.

Maybe if people had any reading comprehension or didnt have a performative-must-say-cute-at-every-anime-child-character rotten brain they'd realize this too falls in the pattern of horikoshi depowering his powerful female characters (and in this case, saying its all okay because she wants to be in a traditionally feminine cutesy career) and that this whole. Thing also validates overhaul's thinking

[orionsangel86]

Are there anythings that you would have changed about The Sandman?

The show or the comic?

Plenty of things I'd change about the comic. As great as the story is, it is a product of its time and there are some underlying messages whether intentional or not that are inappropriate and fucked up and don't really belong such as:

The racism towards black women implied to be cursed to die violently when linked to Morpheus in some way following the Nada situation.

In fact the whole Nada story is pretty gross. When she thinks that by cutting her hymen she'll remove her virginity to put Dream off her, but then its stated that healing her hyman doesnt restore her lost virginity... like first of all. No. Second of all - shoving a rock up your vag does NOT remove your virginity lets not spread the message that it does.

The way Dream comes across a bit rapey in the Nada story overall and its not made clear how much influence Desire has in that.

The inherent misogyny which is typical of 80s/90s comics but in particular the violence towards women and overt sexualisation of women. Whether for shock value or not, its just not necessary.

The implied message that depressed and suicidal people should just kill themselves and everything will be better once they are gone.

The idea that a person who is depressed can be replaced by a better good version of themselves and even their family and friends will just treat that person as the new them. The implication that the depressed person isnt valued and must instead conform to the responsibilities and burdens of the system they are trapped in - rather than changing the system.

The concept that the moon is inherently transphobic and that witchcraft is transphobic just irks me as a pagan person- like yeah there are huuuuge problems in the community and the whole divine feminine and fucking womb magic bullshit is all over it but I really really hate how Sandman perpetuates that myth and indicates its the goddess that encourages that view and not asshole closed minded people. The moon isnt fucking transphobic FFS.

Everything about Gwen and Hobs relationship in Sunday Mourning. Its problematic AF and I hope I don't need to explain why.

Not a fan of the portrayal of Loki and Sigyn. Its too black and white for such a complex myth.

That fucking awful reaping joke in Collectors which I loathe with every fibre of my being.

Even with all these points I want to caveat this by saying that I love these comics. I KNOW that a lot of this is subjective and open to interpretation. These things have many shades of grey to them. I adore the comics in so many ways but that doesn't mean they dont have their issues. I know people are emotionally connected to these comics and this criticism isnt meant as an attack on them.

For the show, well tbh I think its practically perfect, but a couple of niggles:

That fucking awful reaping joke in Collectors - can't BELIEVE they kept that in. I mute my TV at that moment so I don't have to hear it every time.

Hob's slave trade ties - They needed clarity here and should have kept the regret in 1889 more obvious. I understand why they changed it but I think that topic should have been thought through better.

There were complaints I read about how black characters and black men in particular seem to disproportionately suffer violent deaths. I know this was unintentional and a simple matter of open casting for extras and minor characters which is a GOOD thing, but sometimes casting should be less blind, and more considered where minorities are concerned.

Some of the dialogue in Johanna Constantine's episode is clunky - but that only bothers me because I've watched it 284929294787 times and have it memorised.

Despair was handled poorly. It wasnt great rep for fat bodies (like me) and she comes across so weak and submissive to Desire. Which she just isn't at all in the comic. Thankfully it looks like they really did take that criticism to heart and made positive changes in Dead Boy Detectives. She was fabulous in her cameo in that.

Not enough gay sex. The 1 star homophobic reviews really overexaggerated on that and left me disappointed. There should have been at least 1 gay or lesbian sex scene in every episode. Do better season 2. Do better. (For legal reasons this one is a joke - Sandman is a goldmine of queer rep and should be on every queer fans watch list 100 times over)

There you go. No piece of media is perfect. There can always be changes and improvements, but the Sandman is a story that really does fit the description of masterpiece. I think my ideas of things that need to change are generally matters of framing. I dont think the comic story should be drastically changed in the show, I don't think it should be given a different ending. Its a tragedy after all, but tragedy can come in many forms and perhaps the story can be adjusted so the tragedy isnt so harsh. But anyway. This is all just my opinion and as with all things i'm sure there will be plenty of people who disagree with me.

[soracities]

Oh this femininity convo is superb. I myself have recently started just being myself shamelessly, including wearing what i want without thinking will people like this or react badly or will people be disinterested in me etc I think it can be a big part of how we represent who we are to the world yknow 🤔 like i love long skirts and dresses to death (with pockets especially omg), i hate makeup (for mostly sensory reasons), i dont like shaving my pits even tho ive been told i should many times, i like boots and sneakers but also heels. I love cute delicate and feminine things but also functional and comfortable clothes. my outfits are kinda strange to look at i guess since they dont fit into any niche or aesthetic or even streotypical femininity but are rather an amalgamation of things i like that i think go nicely together and idk if i could even label it. Bc yeah i am a woman who likes feminine things but im a human being, and human beings are extremely complex and have several layers that dont fit into niches or aesthetics or boy girl categories (i also kind of hate aesthetics and how out of control its become everyone thinks they need to fit some aesthetic or category or group to be an acceptable person but yknow let's not even get into that rn bc lol thats a whole conversation by itself)

Point is we all care waaay too much what other people think and we try to fit ourselves into boxes to be acceptable and loved which is fair ig bc who doesnt want to be accepted at the end of the day, but putting on this show is so harmful to us and yet we still insist on the diets and the plastic surgery and shaming others or hating whats different. This isnt a new conversion its thousands of years old, yet we only seem to be going in circles :/

Oh anon I absolutely absolutely LOVE this for you, truly💕 I could not agree more and I think the one thing that really gets on my nerves about this whole thing is the way it is erasing all the multi-faceted dimensions that are inherent to being a human being in the first place--and that is such a deeply insidious and slippery slope to me.

I think the fact that this conversation is so old just shows how deeply important community and belonging is to us--and in a way I think it's a good thing that we are still having it because each and every time we get to improve a little; it means something, in my book at least, that even if we haven't fully succeeded in resolving it we are able, each time we talk about these things, to open a realm of possibility for someone, somewhere. And that's so important 🤍

[ganondoodle]

something thats been driving me crazy is the constant worry that i am somehow using harmful stereotypes for the characters i write

like i am unfortunately white tm and me also being autistic and queer does not erase that obviously, im always trying to educate myself as best as i can, yet i feel like im always doing something wrong

its less of a problem when im working with the normal forms of hylia and demise since they are not really human, and though their humanoid disguises technically are still not human they do represent what they might have looked like if they grew up as one; i didnt want to make demises form too dark since i felt like it would perpetuate that stereotype of dark skin = evil which is already not great about ganondorfs character design, but didnt want to make him too light since i felt it would erase that part of his connection to ganondorf altogether and make it all the worse, but then again my demise isnt actually that evil, hes good at heart, so making him too light then would be even worse bc it would imply that light = good thing again

for hylia im even more anxious about it bc i intentionally gave her very dark skin to kinda subvert that light = good thing with zelda (tho in my AU the gods are not good and hylia isnt actually as loyal to them as it may seem bc she knows that.. which i feel complicates things just further; and also light an dark is just a very good contrast aesthetically?) but then i also like to intentionally make characters rather ?gender? but then i worry her being somewhat masculine would also be sth harmful bc i know black women are often treated as inherently less feminine .. which isnt my intention at all (tho my hylia .. doesnt rly have a gender? idk many characters i like to write/design dont have anything specific, like what more do you need than knwoing the right pronouns to call them?? qnq) her being rather cold and ruthless also feels like im doing something bad somehow

then theres the whole sexualization worry, i dont know if im doing that in a bad way bc honestly i just like .. drawing ...bodies? aesthetically? like yes they are very sexy but also wheres the line, am i somehow overstepping it without knowing?? how can i recognize what is normal 'finding certain things pretty or sexy' and what isnt??

so far i dont remeber anyone pointing anythign out as bad which im taking as a sign that i cant be doing that badly .. hopefully, maybe all this is a very stupid thing to worry about and its obvious to everyone else but i am so god damn afraid of doing something even slightly questionable and being hunted down for it (probably bc similar happened to me when i was a teen and it was about an absolut non issue, literally, so even the thought of doing something actually bad is mind boggling to me bc that other thing nearly cost me my life and i literally dont know how i survived and i would 100% not if it happened again..)

this is probably a very chronically online thing too but hoenstly i needed to get it out of my head for once

[snaxle]

thank you for saying the truth about man hating ideology.

hating men isn't woke, and the only ones who'll care about it are the trans men you're going to hurt, idiots.

something also i think a lot of people seem to forget is that terf man hating rhetoric effects more than just men as well, and pretty much anyone can be negatively affected by it. which is why i think it's so dangerous when people confidently go around talking about how they think all men are gross and yucky while also supporting and/or being trans themselves. it's a bad mindset that unfortunately a lot of people fall into.

like im bigender, trans and a woman. pretty much all my life ive been negatively told by people that there's something wrong with me for dressing masculine, etc. one time i shaved all my hair off in support of a cancer charity and was bullied for looking too much like a boy, and that negatively affected my mindset for years and to this day im scared of having my hair shorter than my shoulders. i am not a man, nor do i consider myself a man but because other people perceived me as one they treated me like shit and it hurt a lot to know i was being treated differently than my peers solely for the reason that "ew boys/masculinity gross". (also. i dont even dress that "masculine". i literally just wear jeans and graphic t shirts and i guess that's Manly for people). there's other "ew gross you're a man😬" things ive encountered personally despite the fact that I Am Not A Man, which i won't get into because then i'll probably have to then talk about racism and how some white people perceive anyone who isnt white as inherently masculine, especially if they don't adhere to stereotypical feminine behaviour and appearances, but i can't be bothered to get into that right now.

this was not a good answer lmao sorry i had to get stuff off my chest

[psychewritesbs]

hi! i didnt have much success when looking through ur blog to see if uve addressed this alrdy so apologies if u have.

i was curious to know ur thoughts on jjk's portrayals of gender, esp women/femininity. if u have particular insight from a psych or philosophy bg, id be interested in hearing that (warning, i have a v feminist critique lens)

ik u love gege's writing ���� but his handle on female characters/femininity has given me such a difficult relationship w jjk, and its v difficult to have discourse on it. on one hand, we're introduced to sm interesting realistic women, tbh i actually never stanned a woman in manga before jjk. but imo it cant be denied that gege is a sexist writer. despite how realistic jjk women r theyre all .. halfwritten? i cant think of a single one who isnt underwritten, not fully explored, not utilized substantially in the plot, etc. and there r sm ex's of extremely minor male characters in jjk who r given more thematic relevance than frequently recurring women that just underscores that gender gap imo

this isnt solely a gege problem ik but what bothers me in particular about jjk vs other mangas is how gege addresses strength, even in the light of nb/androgynous characters, and how it feels as if gege's def of strength is inherently masculine? even despite going so far as to give us a philosophical battle shonen w diverse reps of gender and emphasizing individuality that encompasses both femme/masc traits

how a reader interprets whether a jjk woman is strong or not is obv subjective. like, i think shoko is strong but shes not depicted as such bc she doesnt have a combative technique whereas yuki maki nobara or mei r depicted as "strong" bc of their battle abilities. but it also feels as if those women r strong bc they take on "masculine" traits/mindsets whereas there r no clear depictions of "femininity" making women or men stronger. even utahime who falls into v classic shoujo girl tropes is seen as weak despite teaching her students v proficientally in battle strategy (mechamaru v mahito is a good ex of that imo), as compared to how gojo teaches his (ie dumping them into missions for experience). but thats not what gege ever chooses to highlight

femininity also doesnt even seem to make men/nb characters stronger. the ex's i can think of r naoya as a vagina (lmao), geto as a mother to curses, yuta as highly attuned to his emotions, kenjaku as yuji's mother -- those r things that support these (mostly) men's strong sense of individuality but like, those arent really the things that lend those characters their "strength", u know? like geges just sprinkling in androgyny for the spice 🧐

what is feminine vs masculine, how an individual embodies those traits in their gender identity r already complex topics. im obv generalizing a lot here, but i just, idk despite how many other nuanced philosophies gege explores, what is strong/desirable in jjk still falls down to all-out fighting abilities/physical prowess, emotional detachment, isolation, extremism, etc -- all things we harp on toxic masculinity for. and even when he critiques that, theres no cogent counter solution/way to be strong that gege provides, much less one that incorporates "femininity" and women

maybe im just asking for too much from gege after having read so many great representations of women and gender by female (and male) mangakas/writers but.. i shouldnt be �� he can utilize his female characters more imo, esp when he can clearly set them up so well. and im sure theres things ive misread about jjk and its portrayal of femininity, theres plenty of holes in my thoughts ^^ anyways, this is obv not a great topic to bring up in a fandom that is so polarized between dudebros and women w unaddressed internalized misogyny.. so i welcome any and all thoughts and interpretations on ur end! (also omg im rlly sorry this got so long)

I love you feminist anon, if I may call you that lol, I just always name my anons 😂. I am so grateful that you sent this.

I feel like you've very eloquently explained the deeper reason as to why I personally can't relate to the female characters in jjk. If I'm honest, I like them and think they are fun and good enough representations or attempts at depicting the archetypes that rule their personalities.

As you say, however, some of them remain rather superficial and underutilized... and please forgive me anyone who loves them, but some of them feel like they are basically dudes wearing skirts.

No offense to dudes who wear skirts or people who like men who wear skirts or anyone for that matter. It's just that, as a personal preference, I like female characters that wear skirts, pants, leggings, etc and have equal amounts of masculine and feminine energy.

So, even if I find they are good enough, I've never necessarily loved jjk female characters, because, as you also say, I've read/seen one too many amazing and iconic female characters by other authors...

And it's not like I think you're asking for too much from Gege in wanting better female characters, it's just that, as you also said, I like his writing and I read jjk precisely because of what it's doing for my masculine psyche. Like... quite literally.

So perhaps I'm more forgiving than you are because of it? Because in all reality, there are female character moments in other manga that I have to give the bombastic side eye to, and jjk isn't one of them.

Let's taco'bout it more under the cut.

So, that said, I have to admit that you might not find a lot of "feminist oriented" content in my blog because my feminist lens is reserved for dealing with lame dudebros in my real life, and also, I honestly do not know how to wear the lens on the same level of depth as you do.

Also, since my blog's lens is depth psych, I very much focus on femininity and masculinity as psychological qualities that exist on opposite ends of a continuum regardless of biological gender. You'll see me refer to femininity and masculinity like this throughout my answer.

So because of this, I'm coming at the whole issue from a slightly different angle than you are. The way I see it, I think the way the jjk female characters are written and thematically utilized (basically everything you said), ultimately comes back to how Gege's exploration of femininity is limited by his own sense of self, and very much likely biased by the sociocultural landscape he grew up in.

I don't know how much you know about Japan, but Japan has one foot in the future, and one foot in the past...

And like... ok I'm totally oversimplifying the whole thing. All I'm saying is... Gege is a man who grew up in a man's world, sharing his view of the world through jjk, which is a story about initiation of the male psyche that is published in a magazine for young boys.

Do you see the pattern there?

So If you feel like his female characters are underutilized and underexplored, and that thematically jjk focuses way too much on masculinity and masculine definitions of strength at the expense of the feminine archetypes he does present (like Naoya as a vagina LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL)... well... to me, we're basically looking at the limits of his own relationship to his femininity, which, this relationship is in turn an imperative precursor for psychospiritual development in depth psych. More of this in a bit.

Anyways, that's my anticlimactic reasoning for why I am more forgiving about the issue than you are. To be honest, I've been so consumed exploring my masculine psyche through jjk (because personally my feminine psyche is more developed in certain aspects) that I just never focus on the female characters (that is not to mention what I shared earlier).

ANYWAYS, I fucking love what you wrote about Gege's exploration on power from a masculine perspective because you're 100% spot on. What I'll say to that is that, to me, from a depth psych perspective, that's kind of the whole point.

I invite you to look at it from this other level of perspective (in addition to the whole "Gege's psych is a product of his upbringing"): the whole idea of individuality and focusing on the sense of self as a measure of "The Strongest" is being shown as an incomplete part of the equation...

... that leaves "the strongest" ultimately feeling dissatisfied.

This is a sentiment echoed by several characters because ego strength (masculine definitions of strength) is ultimately an unbalanced measure of strength precisely because it ignores feminine values and measures of strength.

Who knows where Gege is taking jjk at this point, but I will admit I am hoping he is going to explore this in more depth because, central to Jungian thought and depth psych is the idea of the Buddhist middle path and union of opposites.

In Jungian psych this means that, when you have an unbalanced ego attitude like that, something has to give so that the pendulum swings in the opposite direction, which gives the ego the experiences it needs to integrate the "opposite" attitude. This ultimately results in a more holistic and balanced perspective for the ego.

That to say that I'm wondering if Gege is going to make the pendulum swing in the opposite direction with the whole "individuality" idea since self-preservation is a "masculine" trait. Again, psychologically, it's all about balance, and right now, the story is out of balance in favor of the masculine traits you mention.

But... to bring it back to Gege's possible limitations around his perception of femininity and how developing a healthy relationship to his anima (femininity) is a precursor for psychospiritual development... what if, on a meta level, jjk is depicting part of Gege's journey towards integrating and deepening his relationship to his femininity and what you're seeing is the beginning of that journey?

Hint hint Tsumiki! maybe I'll write about it someday

This is the thing... In depth psychology, more specifically what is called "the psychology of fairy tales", fairy tales and myths are stories that depict the thinking patterns of a peoples through metaphor and symbol. The characters in these myths and stories are thus characters playing out dramas in our own psyches. So basically, think of jjk as an objective exploration of Gege's subjectiveness (psyche).

Admittedly, even if the pendulum swings in the other direction (more feminine definitions of strength), you might find that his exploration is rather shallow or that it falls short of your expectations for what you'd like to see from a feminist perspective. And you wouldn't be wrong for it, it's just that Gege is probably not on the same level of understanding that you have about femininity because he's, like you and I, a human on a journey of self understanding and growth reflecting on how his environment has shaped who he is.

The same goes for women with internalized misogyny. Sometimes you don't know what you don't know, and coming to an understanding of it is a process that doesn't take place overnight.

So I think the only part I'll disagree with is that Gege is a sexist writer. But that's perhaps because I'm being a bit too technical in what sexist means? i.e. masc supremacy or hating women and perpetuating stereotypes. I think that rather than being sexist, his unconscious biases are showing, which is why someone like you can pick them out.

I do understand where you're coming from though, and admittedly perhaps I am being too forgiving of him.

Last thing I'll say is that I've said a couple of times that wanting for jjk to have these iconic female characters feels like an exercise in futility. In retrospect, I now understand that it's not that anyone shouldn't want for jjk to have iconic female characters, but that doesn't change the fact that jjk will probably remain the wrong manga to look for them, and that's something to make peace with because it is what it is.

So, here's to hoping we get a chance to see a deeper representation of feminine values in jjk or Gege's next manga. Because, if he's done such beautiful work with the masculine psyche, like you, I'd be curious to see what he makes of a deeper exploration of the feminine psyche.

Between you and I, I'd actually love reading a proper battle bl from Gege. And I mean proper. Like... gays so canon that even the dudebros can't deny it.

ANYWAYS... giiiiiiiirl what an ask 😮‍💨. I don't think I've done it justice tbh. But hopefully I made sense? I really do love what you wrote. It was very eye opening to see this age-old argument spelled out the way you did it. So thank you again for sharing your thoughts!

If you over have any other thoughts on the topic I look forward to hearing from you!

I rambled too so... hopefully I made sense 🤣.

[booblywooblies]

im gonna post this here bc i dont want anyone to get the wrong idea on main

ive been thinking for a long time about why detransitioners are usually afab, and i think im developing a couple theories. the first one is i think its more difficult to be classified as a man, genuinely, than a woman. i know that seems immediately incorrect bc a big aspect of transmisogyny is denying transfems their womanhood but i think even if transphobes are calling transfems men they dont really mean it. theres been some talk about which trans people have "male privilege" and some people argue transfems do and the most common response to that is that even if transfems are not out they are not regarded as true men, theres something about them that people can pick up on as inherently queer that others them from manhood (sometimes, all of this is sometimes nothing is universal)

i watched a video a while ago about the "incel to trans pipeline" which was kind of about the type of incel that isnt so much concerned with the lack of sex so much as being a failure as a man and how theres a group on like 4chan or something that seek transition not because theyre trans but to escape the pressures of masculinity and i thought that was really interesting

i think that in some ways, despite all the bullshit women go through with being belittled and objectified and disrespected, there is maybe some comfort in being the "weaker" gender, and the more "desireable" gender.

something ive been dealing with that, i mean it hasnt really been a struggle bc i enjoy men even when they are fat and greasy and hairy so im down with being that. theres something thats very weird about losing like, a certain pool of attention i guess. ive been hit with the realization that i will never be attractive to straight men again, and like thats a good thing because i wouldnt want them to see me as a woman im also kinda sad about it? like it feels like im losing a kind of power, even if its not a real power that has any actual use to me

and i probably dont even have to mention how intimidating it is to present myself to the world as a real man, especially when im 5 foot nothing and have H cups. like one thing when it comes to trans men that EVERYONE says about them is they are either basically only men in name, hanging on to their girly habits and interests in a way thats cringy and annoying, or they, in an effort to distance themselves from the first one just adopt toxic masculinity and beef up their own image of themselves by being more misogynistic

and obviously the first end is more on the people putting them down than the guys who are like that themselves, but thats what im really afraid of, ive already experienced being put down for my interests as a girl, the idea of being denied my real gender for any of that stuff is terrifying. and like, its kind of inherently misogynist to want to escape fully from femininity isnt it? and i do value anti-misogyny more than i do masculinity, thats definitely true in my heart. but it sort of feels at odds with each other, its hard to want to be a man, to seek approval as a man, to care about women being taken as seriously as you want to be taken, and to not put anyone down in your path to get there.

like if i wasnt so committed to it, if i believed this was ACTUALLY more in conflict than i really do, i could see myself as having a responsibility to not transition. im sure a lot of people have a different reason for doing that but i think it makes sense that so many afabs detransition because masculinity can break people.

and like BIG BIG BIG disclaimer, im not thinking about detransitioning, i dont think masculinity is inherently toxic, im gay and i have a cis husband, i think men are cool, i think women are cool and i like them a lot i respect them. im just inspecting this because i was not sure why it happens and i figured itd be in my best interest to figure it out, i think i have, i think its difficult and complicated but doesnt apply to me.

im transitioning bc it feels good and i have a man fetish 👍 and no one can stop me motherfucker

[neko-naruto]

people will tell you your entire life that one day you'll grow into comfort in a feminine body, while they do this they will uphold you to impossible standards of femininity, and when you fail to find comfort in your differences and try to deconstruct the way beauty standards have fucked you up they'll simply tell you to "get over it" because hey at least your body matches your gender, arent you happy? arent you happy you have inherent estrogen and use she/her? arent you happy that you're flat and blocky and cant wear anything feminine without feeling like a fucking clown cosplaying a human- because you have it good. you have what you want. arent you happy? arent you happy? arent you happy that youre a woman even though youll never pass as one? dont get mad at your hips or your chest, wear more complimenting clothes and push up bras. you have an out. you dont have to work for it. you were born into the body you want. stop acting like you have to do any work to be seen as a girl. it isnt your fault that youre not naturally pretty, makeup can fix that. its not your fault that nobody sees you as a girl, dresses can fix that. arent you happy you live like this?

[critical-thinking-is-mandatory]

Okay off topic but thoughts on the teen titans costumes? (Just star and raven are good i just wanna know your thoughts on them)

Honestly? I actually like them.

Like, i know a lot of people arent huge fans because they find bare skin inherently sexual *cue eyeroll here* but if you've gotten over any Western ideas about skin and modesty, i really really struggle to see how Starfire and Raven could be considered sexualised. Especially compared to well *gestures broadly at every superhero comic ever*.

And also like, if i remember right (do correct me if im not) theres not really anything within the show that specifically sexualises the girls. Not how we see in comics and the ML show. Like i dont ever remember seeing any shots or angles that really focused on and emphasised 'the sexy bits'. So like from an audience or creative pov i dont see any issues with say, putting Starfire in an objectively quite modest crop top and miniskirt, or with putting Raven in a leotard.

As far as in-universe design choices go? I think the costumes suit the girls quite nicely. Personality and combat wise i mean.

Starfire is all absurd strength and shooting lasers from her hands n shit. I can definitely see long sleeves being a fire hazard, as well as obstructing the movement of her arms and shoulders. And the miniskirt? Well, you'd be pleasantly surprised by how much mobility they allow, and, unlike tight fitting shorts, a rip isnt going to continue to spread with each movement until the skirt is useless. (This fact brought to you by my work shorts. May they rest in pieces.)

Plus we have the added bonus of characterisation via outfits. Starfire's tall boots and bits of (what i assume are) armour tell us that she's practical, while the miniskirt adds that she's also fun and feminine.

I will say that the long loose hair drives me absolutely batty. I just want to reach through the screen and put her hair in a freaking braid or something.

Raven is pretty much similar reasoning. She's not a real physical combatant so she doesnt need to concern herself much with mobility, so the cloak and tight long sleeves are allowed to stay. I'm not real impressed by her boots unfortunately, they look very soft, with not much ankle support or protection from being speared (like by stepping on nails. Not fun, i can tell you that.) I can't remember what the sole of Raven's boots look like exactly but my general impression is that her shoes are more like slippers than something you should be wearing in active combat. Idk.

But also! Another great tool for informing her character. The big hood and cloak does a great job of telling us that Raven is quite secretive and mysterious, and the transitions from hood-on to hood-off and vice versa are great indicators of a general switch in mood. Say from being closed off to opening up. Idk i just love when clothes are used for characterisation.

Originally i wasnt going to include Terra but then i just said fuck it.

With Terra you can really tell quite a lot. I dont remember it exactly and im too lazy to google, but, Terra's outfit really works with her. It's casual, practical, and kind of smacks you upside the head with her tomboy nature. But its also very clearly the kind of costume Terra put together by scrounging around. It's not a professional superhero costume designed specifically for her. It's just the kind of outfit a kid on the run would be able to put together. And i just adore that.

[enneamage]

hi i dont know how to start this so im just going to get right into it

i never understood why twitter got so mad at this clip ever since i saw it live i actually thought i was more good than bad? that might sound crazy but the fact as a 16 year old cis guy got called a lesbian and didnt go "ew im not a LESBIAN!??!" and actually thought about it for a second.

i think thats perfectly normal at that age to wonder that to wonder about your sexual and gender identity. hell i did and i think if i never did that as a teen i would have never accepted the idea of me being a trans guy.

now this brings me to the point of this essay. i think if twitter didnt have a shit party over that clip he would be more comfortable expressing himself femininity and accepting his bisexuality.

sure he doesnt have a problem flirting with guys as we've seen but they've always been less "masc" than his whole "big man" persona i think he finds it easier to flirt with guys (with the exception of ranboo of course) if he views them as more fem or even as a women perhaps

im not one to truthing him being trans or clem being real but im not against it. this also isnt me truthing him as being trans. i think cis people expressing femininity and masculinity is so important male or female (femininity and masculinity are ALWAYS put as things that go inherently together, but for some reason theyre never put as things that compliment eachother but thats a whole different topic)

but what do i really know? i dont have an audience of 12 million on youtube and 7 miliion on twitch i cant imagine that many eyes on you just waiting to judge you on your every move

Anon I admire the drive but I’m afraid you’ve sent this to the person who authored the “Tommy being Bi won’t fix him” post, so I must stick to my convictions on this one.

(As an aside, for those who don’t know, meet Clementine!)

I was not directly around for The Lesbian Moment, but I think I heard the gunshots down the street. I think it’s hugely under-emphasised how everyone was on the back of a world-changing mass death event spread out over the course of at least two years around that time, and the way that it (reasonably, all things considered) affected the way people handled stress. People were very sensitised to a lot of things, and it doesn’t surprise me that this would be a case where zooming out from what the problem was ‘supposed to be about’ would reveal a massive soup of situational stressors looking for a fracturing point to express themselves.

As thousands of people were all suddenly shoved online to share the same spaces, the social processes involved with creating norms and group standards had tons of gas thrown on them. It was going to be messy no matter what, people were electing scapegoats left and right to set social standards about what was and wasn’t acceptable. This is grim but important context (Tw), lockdown was horrific for rates of at-home physical and sexual abuse. Being a woman online in general is a state of psychological warfare against an objectifying culture. I remember talk about how his audience was divided even then, a group of lesbians were like “hell yeah we can let Tommy join /nsrs” and then another group were not even remotely okay with that even as a joke.

People were sensitised to feeling invaded in a time where lockdown had personal agency down to record lows, especially for teenagers and children. In a world where you have next to no agency or personal control over your circumstances, having a say in dominant moral narratives and the accepted behavior of people skyrockets in value, because you’re constantly in other people’s power. People were profoundly invested in the few square inches of control that they could/did have, so they were deeply reactive with it. A lot of pandemic reactivity was the behavior of people who felt over-activated and cornered, so while it’s possible to critique the outrage and take it apart on the terms that it presented itself on, it’s important to understand it as part of a whole as well.

👏 ON TO THE GAY SHIT

I feel like what goes into Tommy flirting with each of the men he’s flirted with in the past has been a little bit different. Tubbo seemed like possessive best friend claiming mushed into a straight lens with a side of teasing (I like girls, I like Tubbo, Tubbo is girl.) Ranboo was a fascinating intersection of girlfriend sublimation and flirtation to raise his self-esteem, also a bit of an apology for the not-so-passive-aggression from when it looked like Ranboo had “stolen” Tubbo. I wasn’t around for TimeDeo, but fuck it, that counts too. I don’t think that the majority of his homosocial flirting was to make himself seem more masc, especially with Ranboo. (I’ll spare you examples but that particular stretch has some moments.)

Tommy had a ‘playing toughguy’ problem when he was younger, and it contributed to some of his worst habits in terms of what came out of his mouth. I would have attributed a lot of this to his environment, the influences that he related to both positively (edgy youtubers) and negatively (macho schoolmates.) He was very teenage boy, but even then he had an off-beat streak that I impressionistically related to as more femme, even when he was being abrasive. Ever since being forcibly civilised through Wilbur and the forces of the internet he’s had much less of that, but his femme streak has stayed in some form or another, just evolving to fit what’s needed of him at a given time.

The rate at which Tommy being a cishet man comes up as a genuine issue that people feel compelled to try and see resolved is interesting, even as someone who occasionally feels it myself. Like there’s got to be something to unpack in that dynamic, that whatever behavioral issue he’s experiencing at a given time feels tied to his identity as a cishet male and something that can be revised if he had the right personal revelations. The issue is, I just don’t think it’s true, or at least wouldn’t make the difference that some people would want it to make. Some of his problems could even be tied up in his Englishness, and that’s straight up incurable. It’s hard for me to imagine that having a sexuality related revelation would make that big of a difference in the grand scheme of… him as a person. He’s got a lot of moving parts.

I do feel some frustration on behalf Tommy in terms of being a target of essentialist thought. He’s not allowed to be as camp as he probably wants to be because it comes off as offensive to gay culture, and he’s not allowed to be overtly femme because people are strict about policing gender expression right now if a given person doesn’t take on a certain label that corresponds with it. He’s assumed to have the worst intentions if he isn’t directly part of a certain group, and he really is clumsy with things that he doesn’t understand so he can be better off sometimes keeping his hands inside his box, but it’s still kind of sad to see the roundabout way that these binaries re-enforce themselves with someone like him. At the same time, try not to mourn over ‘what could have been’, because it’s still a form of essentialism to think that having traits more commonly associated with non-cishet identity would solve his problem-of-the-week, and there’s no guarantee that’s the case.

[magnoliamyrrh]

i guess, always remember that end of the day femininity is bullshit. femininity is a social construct which varies from culture to culture, it is the gender expectations placed on the female sex. femininity is not innate, it is learned and performed. femininity is not womanhood.

what we define as feminine and masculine is not set in stone and will never be, but there do tend to be similarities across cultures (probably the most prominent one being caretaking, etc being associated with femininity and the woman, as the mother is naturally an infants and toddlers primary caregiver as she is the one who carries a pregnancy and breastfeeds - for much of human history formula didnt exist, in many places it still doesn't, and children would be nursed and are for longer than in "modern" society as this was/is easier especially w food scarcity. males were not able to fulfill this role, though humans eventually learning to milk animals may have helped with a childs survival in cases of death/lack of the mother/another woman who could do this)

still, its a social construct, as masculinity is. in a patriarchal society, which unfortunately most are today, this is a social construct which is man-made and works to subjugate and opress the woman to the males benefit. on the earlier example - caring for others, and kindness, and selflessness are important trairs, but they should be regardless of sex. the male class has taken advantage of this, their femininity has taught the woman since she is a girl that her purpose in life is to care for others (males), to sacrifice herself for others (males), to be kind and giving and forgiving even when it is in direct opposition to her wellbeing or even saftey. the male expects a mother, and then expects a wife who is like a mother as well, and a daughter who serves him as well.

you do not have to conform to femininity. your existence and worth isnt tied to femininity. in fact we should probably throw the whole concept out the damn window all together because it is a regressive and sexist one which has been used to opress us for generations.

this isnt to say that you cant enjoy things associated with femininity, or labled as feminine. some of these things intrinsically have worth and their relegation to "feminine" has devalued them in society (sowing and cooking are two good examples). however, we must acknowledge that many parts of femininity are inherently misogynistic. which, again, doesn't mean you can't enjoy them or do them. but. it does mean we should be aware, we should be aware that to partake in them, then, is not feminism. we should be aware that from a feminist perspective we should probably stop doing them, and reclaiming them only holds so much worth and weight. But. just dont live your life feeling suffocated by having to live up to femininity, and question how much of what you're doing is a free "choice," and how much of it exists in relation to other things. Question if what youre doing, regardless of how you personally feel about it, benefits the dominant male class.

[the-ethereal-demon]

Something interesting I've noticed regarding gender in our system is that some of our parts are trans whereas others are cis, regardless of their actual gender.

One of our parts is something akin to a trans girl. Which i dont entirely understand bc we're afab... But im sure it has something to do with the inherent queerness of our gender.

The few parts of us that do identify in some way with girl-ness still dont have the cis female experience. And i think thats something that I've never acknowledged.

I think for a long time, i rejected femininity in all its forms. And as i became more cognizant of my own non-girl gender, i allowed myself to embrace a very specifc idea of femininity. You can be pretty in the way a boy is pretty, you can be a boy who likes dresses and nail polish. But i was still not acknowledging the full spectrum of femininity.

Im losing my train of thought a bit, but i think where im going with this, is that although i already recognize my very queer masculinity, and how that will never be the same way a cis man perceives himself, i never thought to consider that my femininity is also tied to my queerness. Even though i accept myself and my gender expression as a trans masculine person, im still phobic of the feminine parts of myself. Its hard because i know that people view me as a cis girl, when i am very much not that. And while i do feel some kinship with the lesbian experience (as many trans mascs do) i also never really delved into those feelings because it didnt "make sense". Yes i like girls, but im not a girl, so i cant be a lesbian [therefore] there is no insight to be gained about myself from exploring the lesbian way of relating to gender.

Uhh ramble rambles... ANYWAY the point being that i never considered the inherently queer feminine expression. I've been so phobic of "realizing" that im "just a girl" that i never explored anything remotely girl adjacent. Like yes you lesbians with your complex genders that is very cool and good for you, but its not for me. But like just because there are parts of me that may identify more with girl, isnt me admitting that i was wrong? Or that the way other people view me is correct. Regardless of where im at on the spectrum of human gender, i am very much queer, and that isnt something that will ever change.

[daysten444]

Hi! This is 100% in good faith. I saw your tags on this post and I wanted to try to explain the issue, or at least my understanding of the matter! This is actually my 2nd time trying to send this ask bc tumblr sucks and crashed half way thru writing this the 1st time 😭

While "Women's only" spaces, such as gyms, are not inherently a negative thing, the issue is that this kind of separatist ideology, in reality, actually further promotes and emphasizes gender essentialism and isolation rather than actually combat the issue of misogyny and harassment. The op does have some points, such as having more personal trainers who are women and having self defense classes offered at gyms is a great and effective way of supporting the needs and safety of women. But the language and concept of the post is very clearly aimed towards a specific type of woman, centering them and their comfort, not even their actual safety but their Comfort, over the safety of all women, very clearly not taking intersectionality into consideration.

A brown butch woman or a fat stud or a trans girl who forgot to shave could all very much face the same dehumanization and harassment- if not more- at this gym, that she would at a common "all genders" gym, because of the reason that socially she is not granted the same level of womanhood as the ideal skinny, white, cisgender heterosexual woman. She is made out to be the outsider, someone who doesnt belong in the space of pink equipment and tarot cards, she becomes an intruder for simply existing in a space claiming to be for her, which hinders the comfort and perceived safety of the aforementioned socially """ideal""" woman. We are all too familiar with the phenomenon of when white women dont feel safe, they weaponize their white femininity against those ""interfering"" with their comfort. Yes we need safer spaces for women, but being comfortably isolated while posing in front of designated selfie mirrors isnt real safety. All the concept provided by the op does is create the fantasy without actually protecting those who are unsafe. It boils these issues down to "women are special and need their special spaces away from yucky men and others" instead of "we need to make actual systemic and societal changes to end the rape culture that excuses and promotes the harassment and assault of women"

Theres a lot more i could say on this topic as this doenst fully cover everything wrong with this sentiment, but i hope that what ive written has been helpful. I hope you have a wonderful day and take care ❤️

Thanks for explaining! That makes a lot of sense. Sometimes it does slip my mind when white ppl say things it’s always with context. I saw this from the perspective of It being something I personally would enjoy, but not everyone would and if it’s meant to be a safe space in the first place, it should prioritize the comfort of the group in question. But like you said, her definition of the group is not inclusive.

Thanks for taking the time to type this out even though Tumblr crashed on you. I’ll keep it in mind next time I see posts like this.

[dykeyote]

why is nova bad rep?

nova is a travesty to me bc shes very fun and i really enjoy her as a character in every way besides the things i think are uncomfortable and the bit with the haircut is objectively the funniest way to handle a trans char and also says a lot abt gender in jv's time period which i find very interesting!! there are good things abt nova and there are even good things abt her being trans and i do not think she is written to b intentionally mean spirited but like in my personal opinion the way they go about like ..... the specific way they write her fixation on nureyev isss uh quite poorly handled and sort of uncomfortable? it can call to mind some sort of unfortunate stereotypes about the idea of trans women harassing and coercing cis men and it isnt great

and like ive said jv has trans characters who absolutely can also brush up against being unintentionally transphobic due to being pretty shitty people but Dont end up Actually being so, and i think theres a few reasons for that that nova fails to dodge - for one thing, their transness is never ... Highlighted in any way while theyre doing the shitty stuff. which isnt to say theyre not explicitly trans - they absolutely are, cecil is pretty clearly stated to be identical to cass and has a very feminine voice and pilot uses they/them pronouns the entire time. we Know that theyre trans, but theres never any scenes that explicitly .... Point Out their transness in any explicit way, so when they do their shitty stuff we arent necessarily Fixated on their transness its not being called to attention . nova has an entire scene that points out the fact that she Is a trans woman . and itd still be uncomfortable if it wasnt there and i dont think the scene is inherently bad on its own its funny i like it but in context it does make it feel More iffy 2 me because it is explicitly Reminding you that yes dear listener!! she is trans!! in a way that other trans charas who are shitty ppl arent

another thing is that the main people that those other two examples are put in juxtaposition with is juno, who is also trans. JUNO is the one who calls cecil an apartment complex of demons, JUNO is actively trying to take down pilot. it makes it feel less like a Trans Thing to be fucked up because the person going hey, this is fucked up youre the worst, is Also trans . and we can go to cecil for another more relevant example of this which is that cecil is kinda obsessed with juno too!! hes a little bit of a freak abt him!! but it doesnt feel like a trans thing because because juno is Also trans and hes like normal . nova doesnt Have that because he rfixation is very specifically on nureyev who is, as far as we know and can presume, a cis man. she is being juxtaposed by a Cis character instead of a Trans one. which is worsened by the fact that "trans woman harassing a cis guy who is not interested at all and is taken" is again not great either

and like you could change all those issues of course but tbh you dont even need to?? yeah itd be better if the subject of her affections was trans or if less attention was called to it but like literally you could also just write her like normally . tbh . you could literally just write her normally and make her not feel so pushy and like it would be fine . you could still make her have a huge thing for a cis guy character and make said cis guy character uninterested and just not write it in the specific way that they do that to me personally feels sort of unsavory especially given that she is the first like . canonical explicit trans woman in jv (as far as i remember) . its not hard to write characters normally is my conclusion