#ActuallyDID

[orange-orchard-system]

I think... something I want singlets to understand is that switching, by and large, isn't inherently a bad thing. It can happen at inopportune times, or come with amnesia, or have any number of other complications, yes – but for many of us it's just part of being a system (any negative effects included). Switching is just something that happens, whether it's involuntary, voluntary, or some mixture of the two. You don't have to pity us for switching. You don't have to worry if we tell you that we feel like we're going to switch. It's just something that happens, and if we're telling you, it's because we trust you to know why we may be out of sorts for a bit before we find our footing with the new fronting situation. It's alright. It's just a part of life for most of us, so don't stress about it.

[reimeichan]

Yknow, one of the more... interesting? Things that I've noticed since my partner started actively accepting they have DID is that they're slowly becoming less dissociated just by... being aware that they have a dissociative disorder. I remember for myself when I was going through this song and dance how it felt like I was actively getting worse and my life was falling apart as I became more and more aware of my DID. My partner, however, seems to be doing better with their memory day after day; already they've gotten to the point of being able to keep a full conversation with me without once asking me what we were talking about. Does it still happen? Sure, absolutely. But this used to happen multiple times a day for almost every single conversation we had and now I maybe only see them ask that... a couple times a week? And not only that, but they're so much more aware of when they're dissociating and will comment on such whereas in the past they'd brush things off with a "oh I'm just really tired" or a "sorry I wasn't paying attention" or a "I don't wanna think about this right now, I'm gonna play some video games". And because they're aware they can take measures to work on it and stay grounded! I'm just.... ahhh so proud of them and it also puts a lot of my own healing into perspective. That maybe the reason I felt like I was getting worse was because I was more aware of myself and my dissociation. That maybe it was because I wasn't so dissociated from the dissociation itself anymore, and that made things *seem* worse. And, maybe, it was because I didn't have the support in place to help me learn and utilize any other coping mechanism other than dissociation, and once dissociation started failing for me there was nothing for me to fall back on other than letting my life fall apart around me.

Looking at my partner's growth in even just these few months since they started becoming aware of their dissociative symptoms has given me a lot to think about in regards to my own experiences with dissociation. And I think, ultimately, I'm proud of where we both are now, as different as our journeys are.

[hiiragi7]

Trauma is the response, not the event.

And when we talk about how DID is formed from severe childhood trauma, what is not meant is that what happened to you needs to have been objectively "severe". If you have severe trauma responses (such as DID), then you have severe trauma.

Your trauma is enough regardless of what happened to you.

Trauma is incredibly subjective; what was incredibly traumatizing for one person may not be for another. How we become traumatized is related to a complex web of factors. No case of traumatization will look the exact same.

Trauma is not a competition. What matters is that it affects you. It's enough.

[blooming-foliage]

apparently theres 5 threat responses documented now!

from a trauma & dissociation workbook page our therapist shared

[ed-recoverry]

This post exempts you from any and all “If you don’t ___ this post, ____ will happen.” You are hereby immune to it all. You are now protected! Be free!

[unstablemotions]

Hey, you! You who suspect you might have PTSD, DID or another trauma disorder, but you think you didn't experience trauma "bad enough" to have developed a mental disorder from it? Let me suggest looking at it differently:

"If there's smoke, there's fire"

Do you experience symptoms of PTSD, such as hypervigilance, trouble sleeping, flashbacks, memory problems, dissociation, ect? Then yes, it was "bad enough". Maybe you don't remember anything "really bad" happening or you don't "feel like" it affects you, but listen to your body. The body remembers and the body doesn't care if you think it is "stupid" or "weak" to have a panic attack when someone touches you or that you still have nightmares about that thing you saw when you were 4 years old

Trauma isn't what happened. Trauma is the reaction to what happened. So what I'm trying to say is that if the reason you think you can't have PTSD/DID/OSDD/ect is because you didn't go through anything horrific enough for that, then maybe forget about what happened to you for a moment and just look at the evidence your body and mind are showing. And then, most importantly, be compassionate with yourself. You're going through a lot and it's gonna be okay in the end. Take it easy, okay? <3

[mar-im-o]

pro endo in the sense that I've studied psychopathology and am well aware that we're all just making up the categories of disorders for insurance purposes and like idk man maybe people can be plural for other reasons I genuinely don't care.

Like yes sure my plurality is trauma-based but I don't give a shit of someone else's isn't it doesn't affect me.

[horrorcrew-diary]

*remembers something from our childhood I had forgotten about*

-1 HP

-1 HP

-1 HP

-1 HP

-1 HP

-1 HP

-1 HP

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

"I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy" well I fucking would

[orange-orchard-system]

It's been a while since I've seen a post like this, so... Here's some tips for figuring out who's fronting if you're having trouble!

Try calling yourself by the names of selves you suspect you might be until one of them clicks and feels right. (Or get someone else to do this to you.)

Set up a personality quiz with your system – with different alters as the results – and take it!

Consider how you'd feel if you were told you absolutely were not (insert headmate here). Would you be frustrated? Upset? Would you instinctively push back against that assertion? If so, this is probably a good indicator that you're that headmate.

If you keep descriptions of your sysmates, read through them and see what you relate to, and if you ever feel like anything is referring to you specifically, or that you wrote something.

The previous suggestion can also work for journal entries if you keep track of who wrote what.

This is not an exhaustive list; if you find a different method that works better for your system, use it! And remember, if you feel deep down like a specific system member... you probably are that system member. Good luck figuring out who's fronting and who you are!

[reimeichan]

"I'm okay with you having DID, I just don't want to talk to or meet any of your alters."

I'm an alter too, you know. Every single time you've interacted with me, I'm an alter. Even before you knew I had DID, even before I knew I had DID, we've been speaking to each other as various different alters. To ask to only interface with one singular version of me because you find the other versions of me uncomfortable to be around is hurtful.

We have little to no control over who's fronting at any particular time. We switch a lot, that's the nature of my system. Even we don't know who's fronting all the time, not least because we're discovering new parts still all these years later.

And, ultimately, they're all me. If you've only met one version of me and like that one version of me, do you truly like me? If you've only ever gotten to know me in that particular mode, how well do you actually know me? How can you say you love me when there's all these other me's that you cast aside and ignore?

You can't say you're okay with my DID but then ask to never get to know my alters. Because, ultimately, that means you never get to know me. And that means you're not okay with my DID- or with me.

[sucked-into-abagel]

When ppl talk about alters being stuck in trauma time, they usually talk about those alters not knowing the body's friends, or recognizing where they live, or any number of physical reality changes. And we've definitely had that experience! But more often what "alters being stuck in trauma time" means for us is those alters know basic physical reality facts, but their emotional reality has not changed at all. So they might know our best friend, but they aren't connected to how that friend and I interact. They respond to everything like the trauma is still happening, so they expect any mistake to be met with punishment, they expect the ppl around them to suddenly hurt them without warning, they have no ability to use our modern coping methods, and they have no concept of anything being other than the abusive environment of our youth.

So yeah, our trauma-stuck alters typically know we live in a different house and our dad isn't coming home, and they know things like we graduated college and the names of our friends. What we struggle with a lot more is getting them to understand that this current time isn't just our childhood with new set dressings.

[aether-amalgam-system]

Hey if you had an isolating childhood experience because you were undiagnosed with a neurodivergency, remember that THAT IS TRAUMA!!

Your isolation/bullying/attachment trauma is so so so valid. It’s trauma.

[subsystems]

About dissociation in childhood, from Treating Adult Survivors of Childhood Emotional Abuse and Neglect (pp. 148-150)

[unstablemotions]

Every book about PTSD will repeatedly mention how your personality will change after the traumatic event. How this is an indicator that you have the disorder. How this is a universal experience for everyone who suffers from post traumatic stress.

But I never got to have a life before trauma. That person was killed before they were alive. All that remains is a broken shell from where a child was ripped out with violent teeth.

I didn't change from my trauma, because I never existed before it began.

[sysmedsaresexist]

The idea that emotional abuse and neglect have to be purposeful, with intent and malice, in order to be "enough" is wrong, and is not supported by science

I can't believe I have to say this.

Well meaning, well intentioned parents can and do neglect and abuse their children without EVER realizing it.

A parent can love their child and want the absolute best for them, and still fuck their children up in horrible ways that will stay with them for life.

When it comes to trauma and DID, this isn't an area where you can play Olympics. Anyone who can look at another person and go, "that wasn't enough, you have to have more trauma," is in the wrong.

You are flat out wrong.

Your behaviour is wrong.

Your facts are wrong.

Your understanding of trauma, CDDs, and DA is wrong.

Your actions and words are wrong.

Look at generational trauma, homophobic and transphobic parents that just "want their children to succeed" while stamping out any and all "weirdness", parents with their own mental illness that prevents them from responding appropriately their children or causes outbursts, parents with outdated strategies that they thought worked on them, parents that mishandle their child's outbursts with speed rather than understanding in mind, abusers that are young and don't understand what they're doing, single parents that work two jobs and now their kid has to take care of themselves and their siblings, nuclear families with low income, body shaming parents that just want to protect you from other's cruelty, the list goes on and on.

You've probably experienced more than one of these.

And probably for a long time, right? Maybe your entire childhood?

Huh, it's almost like that's repetitive, longterm trauma.

Do NOT let anyone invalidate your trauma.

It was bad enough.

More reading.

And more.