#ActuallyDID

[the-indigo-symphony]

"Dissociation" as a term is kind of in a weird position compared to a lot of other medical terms that slowly enter public knowledge, because people expect it to be misused like OCD and delusions and so on; they assume people are using it for situations where it doesn't apply, that they are "watering down" an important concept. But the thing with dissociation is no, all these people who are using the term "dissociation" lightly are also using it correctly.

Zoning out is a form of dissociation. Daydreaming is a form of dissociation. Dissociation covers a lot of different things, from complex disorders to everyday behavior. People aren't "misusing a serious term" when they describe these experiences as dissociation, and they aren't hurting anyone who experiences more severe forms of dissociation by doing so. I'm not offended when people without DID describe their daydreams as dissociation, I'm happy that they can recognize there are healthy and everyday forms of dissociation, and so when they encounter dissociation in the context of trauma or a disorder, it hopefully won't be as scary to them.

This is a "yes and" situation, not a "no but" situation. Yes, zoning out is a form of dissociation! And this is how I experience "zoning out" as someone with a dissociative disorder! I'm glad you now have a better understanding of medical terminology and will hopefully be able to better understand any medical texts you come across in the future

If you're looking for people misusing "dissociation", I assure you there are still plenty of people who associate any mention of it with senseless violence. How about we tackle that first before deciding the word for a spectrum can only be used to describe the most extreme forms of it

[hollowandcoldanddark]

persecutors can be real fucking assholes and it can be really really hard to live with one. as someone whos tried to die cause of this shit, lets talk about it a little. its getting late at night so this wont be massive.

dont abuse ur persecutors more - do you think that the "i was abused and now am acting in a harmful way" person will appreciate more continuing abuse. try not to isolate them, lock them away, etc. theres a lot of advice like "dont ever" but i understand that you dont want your life to be in danger and you probably have fucking work to do

make it inconvineitn - if persecutors are feelong a bit stabby, keep your knifes blunt. make money slightly more annoying to access. hang around people who know. make it harder for them just a bit.

learn to tune it out/make peace with it - this is really really hard depending on what theyre doing or saying but if you can and there isnt much reconciling with them then this is a good idea. try to learn to not internalise it

talk to them - if possible talk about what they want or why theyre doing this. whats pissing them off. how u can help. make jokes. introduce them to life experiences. some persecutors probably are just malicious dickhats but most are not.

maintain a relationship - keep talkingf to them. keep doing this.

dont use a conditioning style of punishment, like if you are mean to em i dont let you do a thing you like or see the sun. this can be really triggering and framer you as an enemy, a threat, or just an asshole. they are not dogs.

persecutors reading: i dont know you. your systme needs to treat you like a person. and you need to try in order for it to work. i believe in you. the future can get better but u need to be [art of that change. maybe try merge dragons that helped one of our guys

[reimeichan]

"I'm okay with you having DID, I just don't want to talk to or meet any of your alters."

I'm an alter too, you know. Every single time you've interacted with me, I'm an alter. Even before you knew I had DID, even before I knew I had DID, we've been speaking to each other as various different alters. To ask to only interface with one singular version of me because you find the other versions of me uncomfortable to be around is hurtful.

We have little to no control over who's fronting at any particular time. We switch a lot, that's the nature of my system. Even we don't know who's fronting all the time, not least because we're discovering new parts still all these years later.

And, ultimately, they're all me. If you've only met one version of me and like that one version of me, do you truly like me? If you've only ever gotten to know me in that particular mode, how well do you actually know me? How can you say you love me when there's all these other me's that you cast aside and ignore?

You can't say you're okay with my DID but then ask to never get to know my alters. Because, ultimately, that means you never get to know me. And that means you're not okay with my DID- or with me.

[ed-recoverry]

This post exempts you from any and all “If you don’t ___ this post, ____ will happen.” You are hereby immune to it all. You are now protected! Be free!

[horrorcrew-diary]

*remembers something from our childhood I had forgotten about*

-1 HP

-1 HP

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-1 HP

[hiiragi7]

Trauma is the response, not the event.

And when we talk about how DID is formed from severe childhood trauma, what is not meant is that what happened to you needs to have been objectively "severe". If you have severe trauma responses (such as DID), then you have severe trauma.

Your trauma is enough regardless of what happened to you.

Trauma is incredibly subjective; what was incredibly traumatizing for one person may not be for another. How we become traumatized is related to a complex web of factors. No case of traumatization will look the exact same.

Trauma is not a competition. What matters is that it affects you. It's enough.

[omnium-gatherums]

What they don't tell you about DID is that almost everything is just vibes. Literally just vibes. System mapping, inner world, knowledge about alters in general - vibes.

[blooming-foliage]

apparently theres 5 threat responses documented now!

from a trauma & dissociation workbook page our therapist shared

[unstablemotions]

Hey, you! You who suspect you might have PTSD, DID or another trauma disorder, but you think you didn't experience trauma "bad enough" to have developed a mental disorder from it? Let me suggest looking at it differently:

"If there's smoke, there's fire"

Do you experience symptoms of PTSD, such as hypervigilance, trouble sleeping, flashbacks, memory problems, dissociation, ect? Then yes, it was "bad enough". Maybe you don't remember anything "really bad" happening or you don't "feel like" it affects you, but listen to your body. The body remembers and the body doesn't care if you think it is "stupid" or "weak" to have a panic attack when someone touches you or that you still have nightmares about that thing you saw when you were 4 years old

Trauma isn't what happened. Trauma is the reaction to what happened. So what I'm trying to say is that if the reason you think you can't have PTSD/DID/OSDD/ect is because you didn't go through anything horrific enough for that, then maybe forget about what happened to you for a moment and just look at the evidence your body and mind are showing. And then, most importantly, be compassionate with yourself. You're going through a lot and it's gonna be okay in the end. Take it easy, okay? <3

[clever-and-unique-name]

A simplified version of the thing I feel like goes on in my brain.

Blank version under the readmore if you want to be a bit silly+introspective with your own "settings"

[the-indigo-symphony]

It's been a while since I've seen a post like this, so... Here's some tips for figuring out who's fronting if you're having trouble!

Try calling yourself by the names of selves you suspect you might be until one of them clicks and feels right. (Or get someone else to do this to you.)

Set up a personality quiz with your system – with different alters as the results – and take it!

Consider how you'd feel if you were told you absolutely were not (insert headmate here). Would you be frustrated? Upset? Would you instinctively push back against that assertion? If so, this is probably a good indicator that you're that headmate.

If you keep descriptions of your sysmates, read through them and see what you relate to, and if you ever feel like anything is referring to you specifically, or that you wrote something.

The previous suggestion can also work for journal entries if you keep track of who wrote what.

This is not an exhaustive list; if you find a different method that works better for your system, use it! And remember, if you feel deep down like a specific system member... you probably are that system member. Good luck figuring out who's fronting and who you are!

[hollowandcoldanddark]

i hate shoutout posts, so this is like... a whisper to every single fucking system who can't be in therapy. who arent safe. live with abusers. who dont have the money, dont have the location, cant find a therapist. who cant do this shit.

i think that most advice from the internet is like... if you have did go to therapy and i bet thats useful if u can have it but if you cant, its so isolationg. especially with an individualistic (every man for himself) culture, people often tell u to just... go to therapy bro. dont bother me about it.

here are fr some tips as someone who has a lot of problems and is not in therapy:

prioritise staying alive. it can never get better once you are dead.

take your time with it. you dont need to post alter intros or have a plural kit. you dont need to have a journal. take time to be comfortable as you can even if the circumstances are very bad

depending on your amount of control and interaction with your system, introduce people who don't have a lot of life experience to new things like food, new colours and textures and places. this especially applies if you have a bunch of alters who only really know the environment of their abuse

build community. its really really really hard but do try. having friends kept me alive. it still keeps me alive.

learn about healthy relationships - we all have internet access. learn about boundaries and triggers and talking to others healthily. a lot of people with did will struggle with healthy relationships even if they make them. learn and do your best to act with it

treat your body like a rental or a pot plant or an animal if needed - even if it doesnt seem like yours, you gotta feed and water and walk it bro. u need the sun. you need enrichment and interaction.

ignore the discourse if youre struggling - it actually doesnt matter and will make you more sick. thinkning about endo vs trauma or like.... idk... labels discourse can be a major stressor that can lead to warping your sustem presentation or repressing and harming bits that arent conforming well

engage in things that are irl like building mini legos or clay - it can help make outside a better environment and shit, aklso can help ground.

find your own triggers and talk about it with ur system. write notes or yap.

find joy in being alive and being a system. despite what reddit or youtube or whatever will tell you, as things improve they will get better. and u should look for joy and funnies when you can

dont give up

LISTEN TO YOUR SYSTEM. THEY'RE NOT ALWAYS GOING TO BE RIGHT. THEY LIKELY ARE ASSHOLES OR INSANE JUST LIKE YOU. BUT YOU LIVE TOGETHER.

healing is easier as a team.

i believe in you

[reimeichan]

Think systems with a high number of fictional introjects are a new phenomena? Kluft's paper on polyfragmented/extremely complex DID from 1988 includes a patient with LOTR introjects, and another based off of Shakespear's Tempest. Fictional introjects have been a thing for a very long time!

[mar-im-o]

pro endo in the sense that I've studied psychopathology and am well aware that we're all just making up the categories of disorders for insurance purposes and like idk man maybe people can be plural for other reasons I genuinely don't care.

Like yes sure my plurality is trauma-based but I don't give a shit of someone else's isn't it doesn't affect me.

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

"I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy" well I fucking would

[sucked-into-abagel]

When ppl talk about alters being stuck in trauma time, they usually talk about those alters not knowing the body's friends, or recognizing where they live, or any number of physical reality changes. And we've definitely had that experience! But more often what "alters being stuck in trauma time" means for us is those alters know basic physical reality facts, but their emotional reality has not changed at all. So they might know our best friend, but they aren't connected to how that friend and I interact. They respond to everything like the trauma is still happening, so they expect any mistake to be met with punishment, they expect the ppl around them to suddenly hurt them without warning, they have no ability to use our modern coping methods, and they have no concept of anything being other than the abusive environment of our youth.

So yeah, our trauma-stuck alters typically know we live in a different house and our dad isn't coming home, and they know things like we graduated college and the names of our friends. What we struggle with a lot more is getting them to understand that this current time isn't just our childhood with new set dressings.