#( the oracle. )
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grand-theft-carbohydrates · 6 months ago
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stop using chatgpt!!!! take a bronze pin and carve your questions onto an ox scapula, then toss it into the fire!!!! use the cracks to divine the gods answer!!!!
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ultimate-marysue · 2 months ago
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It's raining nonstop where I am so I'm just picturing the Batfam during a flood.
Red Robin uploads a TikTok from the safety of a roof saying "watch him go!" As Red Hood keeps trying to drive his bike against the current. A big wave comes by and he's slowly dragged downhill. The caption reads "don't drive during floods".
Batman and Robin are on the ground helping civilians out of cars when the intensity doubles and in minutes Damian goes from wading knee deep in the water to swimming. The emergency batfloaties get triggered and he floats away as Bruce fails to grab him by half an inch. "Robin serenely drifting in the current" becomes a meme.
Someone takes a picture of a very flustered spoiler trying to squeeze the water out of her cape. The second she lets go the weight of the water makes her fall ass over backwards. Black Bat ends up giving her her waterproof cape.
Signal makes mirages of sharks in the water to scare the shit out of any criminals. Oracle uploads the recordings with Benny hill as background music. Bludhaven escapes the worst of the storm and Nightwing sends pictures to the group chat patting the barely wet concrete just to rub it in. He still slips on a puddle and eats shit, Barbara sends that to the group chat.
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incorrectbatfamandfriends · 5 months ago
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Headcanon that since Jason can’t go out with his family publicly, what he does instead is show up in random disguises.
Bruce is chatting up some socialites at a gala, talking about the joys of fatherhood and how rewarding it is. Meanwhile he made eye contact with Jason disguised as a waiter twenty minutes ago, and is currently trying to stop his eye from twitching.
Dick is speaking to a third grade class as a part of the Bludhaven Police department outreach program, except when he walks in Jason is sitting behind the teachers desk, playing the role of substitute.
Babs can’t help but stare when Jason hands her a coffee from behind the counter of her favorite coffee shop. (His name tag reads Peter, and for a second she thinks she’s actually lost it).
Tim walks into Wayne Towers one day and on his way in, he waves to his secretary- lo and behold Marjorie has been replaced by Jason. It takes him three hours to notice.
Cass walks into ballet class to discover her teacher had to take a sick day- his replacement is Jason in a beret who talks in a terrible French accent the entire class, only to drop it at the very end to talk in a thick New Jersey accent. Her entire class talks about it for weeks.
Stephanie hails a cab on her way home one night, only to find Jason driving. She’s not sure how he pulled it off or how he got a cab, but her mind is effectively blown.
Duke is on a school trip to the natural history museum, and when the tour guide introduces himself, Duke can’t help but role his eyes. Jason gives a surprisingly good tour, even throwing in some tidbits about a robbery that went down just last week that the Signal stopped.
Damian’s encounter happens when he’s with Jon in metropolis. He’s watching Jon play baseball, and when Jon steps up to bat, he can’t help but notice a the umpire looks a little familiar.
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forgetfulsynapsid · 5 months ago
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Another picture of the BAT-family!!! Bruce will make them all fit under his wings if it’s the last thing he does.
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lilyblossom-art · 2 months ago
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All of the zeldas so far in order of release
This took me so long lol i don't even know why i did this but here it is :>
And also i have not played eow yet so no spoilers pls
1. Classic Zelda
2. Zelda I
3. Alttp Zelda
4. Cdi Zelda
5. Other cdi Zelda
6. Oot Sheik
7. Oot adult Sheik
8. Oot downfall Sheik
9. Ssb Zelda (i needed to get to 25 lol)
10. Oox Zelda
11. Fs Zelda
12. Tetra
13. Fsa Zelda
14. Mc Zelda
15. Mc stained glass Zelda
16. Tp Zelda
17. St Zelda
18. Ss Zelda
19. Albw Zelda
20. Hw Zelda
21. Botw Zelda
22. Ancient princess (named after Sonia from totk)
23. Coh Zelda
24. Aoc Zelda
25. Eow Zelda
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blu-engineer · 4 months ago
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favorite stan twins characterization is that they're both equally insane. stanley just gets more air time to show it off. loosely inspired by a post i read earlier but here's some absolutely insane things both of them have done
stanley:
drugged a person and turned them into an exhibit in the mystery shack
had a vegas wedding to a prospector-themed novelty dispenser
gave mabel a grappling hook
failed to steal an animatronic badger
chewed his way out of the trunk of a car
punched at least three bald eagles
is multiply divorced, possibly even with the novelty dispenser
committed premeditated murder on a llama
faked a heart attack to get on Wheel of Fortune
took his clothes off in front of a live studio audience on Wheel of Fortune
has a rivalry with a fifth grader, a grandmother, and a man who exclusively dresses like a corn cob
stanford:
pulled a gun on a bus driver when he wouldn't let a pig on board
directly assisted in mind-controlling ronald reagan during his election in 1980
gave mabel a crossbow
got bitten by a vampire bat and subsequently began sampling human blood
owns contraband outlawed in 9000 dimensions; keeps it in an extremely flimsy plastic case
"accidentally" set a hawk on fire
has exes ranging from as normal as his old college buddy to as weird as a triangle and an alien with 7 eyes who put a metal plate in his head
wears turtlenecks because he's hiding multiple tattoos he regrets, including one themed around "all star" by smash mouth
is an Extremely wanted criminal across hundreds of dimensions; was completely kicked out of one for card counting
is, bizarrely, super into the band Eurythmics
can see shrimp colors
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demonicsuffrage · 4 months ago
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Jason definitely tries his best to keep his siblings out of crime alley but they just. Don't listen.
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Tim, arriving into crime alley while Jason's injured, to solve a case that Jason had stopped him from meddling in: Finally, He's not here
Jason, standing directly behind Tim, with a punctured lung and a gun full of horse tranquilisers: Boo
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Jason, putting up a barricade in front of the alley: Stop coming into my territory already!
Dick, backflipping over the barricade and into Crime Alley: It's payback for when you cosplayed Nightwing and came into Bludhaven.
Jason: ...Fine
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Damian, at family dinner: Todd, I demand that you allow me entrance to the alley-
Jason, spraying him with water like a misbehaving cat: no.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Steph, wearing camo print and openly walking into crime alley: You can't see me right now, so you can't kick me out
Jason:
Jason: Good one. You can come in for ten minutes.
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Barbara, trying to fly a drone over crime alley because Bruce wanted reports: This is foolproof
Jason, sniping down the drone: No.
Barbara: I jinxed it
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Duke just waltzes in and out because he works during the day and Jason doesn't. Cass also waltzes in and out because she blends so well with the shadows and he never spots her.
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ditzybat · 4 months ago
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Dick, sighing: it’s hard being the only emotionally adjusted one in this family
Tim: LOUDDDD incorrect buzzer
Jason: you’re the most like Bruce out of all of us, and that man isnt exactly the poster child for emotional stability
Damian: I concur, while Timothy and Jason see their feelings as afterthoughts, and fear mine underminded - you, Richard, brood and suppress until the miscommunication blows up in your face, just like father.
Tim: exactly, the most expressive and normal one of our colony are the Batgirls… and that’s saying something
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shadydruid · 4 months ago
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Baldurs Gate 3 Origin Characters Oracle Cards! Almost all of them have been updated since I first posted them. The last one is my Durge Amaranthine 💜 Which card do you like the most?
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lilsoupboiii · 6 months ago
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Even more of my personal favorite panels from s2 of Batman: Wayne Family Adventures
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vodrae · 6 months ago
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Damian walks up for the first time in his brand new school , his teacher by his side, he watches the other children playing. They run after each other and grab shoulders and arms.
"ADOPTED !" Yells one boy.
Quite suprised, Damian asks:
"What are they playing ?"
The teacher cringes hard but finds no good way to say it.
"Ehm....Bruce Wayne and the orphans...?"
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andstuffsketches · 17 days ago
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girl who lives in a cave
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heyyallitssatan · 7 months ago
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I like to think that Batman’s suit is really heavy
Like, the thing obviously Kevlar weave, with lots of armour reinforced bits, not to mention all of the gear and gadgets and tools he has on his person, I mean, anything he’s ever thought he may need, anything he’s been mid fight thinking that a particular tool would be useful, he has it somewhere, probably a few of them
And all the kids too, they’re equally equipped even if they don’t necessarily look it
So I like to imagine that some of the heroes decided they should do a costume switch for fun
The bats agreed, and the best part wasn’t them being weirded out like they thought they’d be, unmasked and all that, no, they couldn’t care less, instead everyone else is freaking out about how heavy the bats costumes are
How the hell do they do impossible feats of acrobatics wearing shit like this
Even the supers think it’s excessive, and they have super strength
The bats all take the opportunity to try some of their moves without the weight, given that they work out wearing even more weight
Turns out they can flip and jump and move in even more insane ways than anyone thought possible and everyone is more terrified than they were a few minutes ago
Everyone decides the bats are better with their gadgets
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jesterraconteuse · 8 months ago
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You don't understand there's a part of me that wants Alfred Pennyworth to never age but there's another part that's like
As Alfred grows older his body grows tired and everyone notices. And for Bruce that's his surrogate father. For everyone else that's Grandpa. Immediately there's a secret boot camp in the Batcave for everyone to start learning how to better care for themselves. Selina Kyle assisting of course.
There's already disability accommodations for Barbara so they just need to tweak and add some stuff. They've learned from her needs and start researching on how to care for the elderly for Alfred specifically.
On paper he's still a butler but really everyone (who lives or stays for a long time in Wayne manor) makes sure they learn how to do the hardwork for themselves. Most of his job is just to be there for them honestly. They insist on doing things for themselves.
But Alfred is Alfred. So he knows what's going on. And he's so deeply proud of them. He doesn't let him do anything he insists he can or wants do himself. He's still his own person after all, and they gradually learn his boundaries and patterns.
Bruce keeps paying him but not in a way you'd pay a butler usually. More in a way where you'd send money to your retired parents.
Do you see my vision?
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incorrectbatfam · 7 months ago
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Bruce once made an offhand comment about how no one wears watches anymore because they all use their phones to tell time
The next day Tim buys a smartwatch
Dick straps the hourglass he got from the dentist onto his wrist
Damian carries a bunch of candlesticks with nails in them and lights one whenever he needs a timer
Jason lugs around two industrial buckets of water to make a water clock
Steph gets an antique pocketwatch but it's carried around by a personal assistant that's coming out of Bruce's budget
Barbara buys a classroom clock and keeps it in her wheelchair pocket
Cass stands in a well-lit area and checks her shadow
Duke unearths a fifty-pound sundial and names it Duke II
Bruce no longer comments on Gen Z
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