#you guys are just aphobic

[fanby-fckry]

I feel like some people need to see this, tbh

[deerlybelov3d]

THISSSSSSS THIS THIS THIS!!! It’s the way that so few even want to bother TRYING to ponder and flesh out and write about other types of relationships that aren’t just. Romance and banging. I hate that that’s always seen as the end-all-be-all and its “boring” if a character is aroace or aspec as if there aren’t so many different types of relationships and so many different types of ways to care about someone and so many fun ways to write about their dynamic it’s such a slap in the face to aspecs and aroaces I could rant about this for days THANK YOU for putting my exact thoughts into words!!!!

Why is everyone here so obsessed with sex and romance why can't you appreciate the comedic genius of "rivals who fight about parenting to rile the other up to begrudging coparents who bicker like a divorced couple to actually maybe tolerating the other and the insults are now less spiteful and biting to hells first qpr (queerplatonic rivalry) to hells first qpr (queerplatonic relationship)"

[cosmicredcadet]

Some of you will see a character that is actively repulsed by romance/sex and heavily non-partner coded (sometimes they even actively just say that they do not want a relationship!) and y'all will still respond with "But aros/aces can still date and have sex!!" like okay bud it'd be so much easier for you to say you don't respect repulsed and non-partnering aros and aces. stop beating around the bush trying to pretend to be oh so supportive when you obviously feel uncomfortable about our existence even in fiction.

[knifearo]

yeah man. reminder that an aspec person doing something can never be invalidating to aspecs in general. a person's individual actions are not reflective on the entire community and our job is to remember that we can all do whatever the fuck we want forever ‼️ the people who are leveraging us against each other are NOT our friends and should not be listened to. in fact i advocate putting them in the oubliette

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

A shout-out to the arospecs who don't feel romantic attraction, DO feel romantic attraction, sometimes feel romantic attraction, feels little to no romantic attraction, and obviously the ones who are shunned away from the rest of the community

[bisexualfagdyke]

People are so weird about Neil's aroaceness, I'm so sick of it 😭

[aro-bird]

Continuing on for whatever the fuck happened with that poll™ yesterday, OP claiming that it was made as a "joke poll" doesn't matter because they were still being arophobic and not at all curbing any aphobia in their replies. It's also apparent that the joke here is the absurdity of the existence of aro men who are also cishet which shows how little OP and other aphobes really know about the aro and ace spectrums and the nuance within them.

Besides, the fact that so many people aren't really taking to it as a "joke" as OP claims, and is just spewing out such rancid hatred for ace and aro people, even wishing for our deaths, is still something to be called out. It still shows how uncaring OP and those other people are.

They really don't give a shit about us.

[toytulini]

Disclaimer im just processing some thoughts im not cancelling the show

have almost thoughts about how i find the like....narrative on here that if you have chronic "zebra" conditions youd want a doctor like House and wouldnt sue for malpractice bc at least youd have a doctor that cares about whats wrong with you but lets take it one step further. so often he does NOT give a shit about the patient and actively endangers them frequently with his god damn heoric era of medicine approach? non zero amount of times he gets a diagnosis but it comes too late, or he gets a diagnosis after their first wrong 3 guesses of the episode shut down the patients kidneys and they either have to get a transplant or they are just, doomed due to other preexisting conditions etc? idk. i know ppl are almost certainly exaggerating and just letting off steam about the very real failures of our current medical systems and the ableism baked in and All That Shit. i just think its weird how ppl romanticize House who STILL, FREQUENTLY, MULTIPLE EPISODES will actively dismiss shit in the exact way that is a problem in our current system, especially when hes being Forced Against His Will To See Clinic Parients, he loves to be dismissive as fuck of symptoms and if he was a real doctor i think he'd be fucking 50/50 on cases he Notices Something To Dig Into vs cases he dismisses as an Anxious Hysterical Woman Who Wants Attention, the only reason he's Right so frequently in his snap judgements is cos it reinforces the narrative. its like a crime drama that has the mastermind serial killer masterfully using "loopholes" and lawyering up all sneaky and dodging Justice and if only our poor little cop protags were allowed to do A TEENY BIT of Justified Police Brutality, they could Save Lives!

and like sometimes in the show they will have a patient die despite his efforts to narratively punish him. not to mention, i think its been at least mildly brought up and glossed over how much they absolutely do not think about insurance costs for these ppl for the insane amount of tests that find nothing and Wrong Medications To Force A Diagnosis they use? i think it was brought up once in the episode following a day in the life of cuddy where she had to fight a lawsuit bc a guys insurance like didnt cover his thumb being reattached but chase reattached it anyway while in surgery cos it was The Right Thing To Do and the guy didnt have the money to cover it and the insurance wouldnt pay unless he sued the hospital or whatever. thats like the only time its come up. whereas like frequently the doctor I go to for osteopathic manipulation tries to check in with me and make sure im covered by insurance etc and that im not going to go broke or get buried in medical debt seeing her.

idk. just some Thoughts. not a defense of our current system and all the flaws it enables and enforces etc. his approach to medicine is really reminiscent to me of what I know of the Heroic Era Of Medicine which i dont...love? and hes framed on here as being an asshole but would kill for his patients to get them a diagnosis etc. but hes definitely extremely paternalistic to patients ? and despite some good clippable lines about ableism and being against eugenics, it honestly feels like his stance on that is kind of a toss up.

[lovequeerindigo]

can’t believe i have to make this post but if you use the erasure of aro/aroallo identities as an excuse to be acephobic please get the fuck off of my blog and don’t come back. i don’t like you and i don’t want you here.

[rainparadefromhell]

i know it's my own fault for, well being on twitter lmao but people's aphobia on there is so disgusting. i went my whole life never really thinking about let alone feeling romantic attraction and to say that i, or anyone else for that matter is "confused", "a late bloomer" or any other annoying thing is horrible. we have got to start understanding that different people have different experiences and even if we can't understand how someone is feeling, it costs you literally nothing to be respectful.

also, people need to realize that almost everything is a spectrum. if i fall in love with someone in the future i would not say i'm suddenly not aromantic/ on the spectrum anymore. i would just say i have low romantic attraction/don't feel it often. stop erasing us or telling people you know them better than they know themselves over a short tweet you saw. and yeah maybe that person won't even see your comment but someone who's struggling will and could feel alienated and hurt by your words. please be kind to one another.

my blog is always a safe space for everyone but especially aromantic & asexual people since we are always so excluded from the conversation and not understood. i see you all. you are valid & important.

[krockat]

or an artists wettest dream.

you decide!

[freyjaherself]

:some sort of discussion about romance or sex. Doesn't matter if it's ethics or just experiences. Maybe it's a discussion about sexual politics. Maybe it's just people talking about their relationships.

Scroll the replies for 2 seconds:

An ace person, unironically: You are all godless heathens

[cosmicredcadet]

every time i see a post that is like "ughh why cant we have aspec characters who aren't aroace for once" I have to do a double take like "is the aroace rep in the room with us right now?" because genuinely....where is all this aroace rep y'all are complaining about? Why cant i find it yet it's apparently the only aspec rep we get?? You admit that TV never says the word aromantic so where is the aroace rep. So far I've pretty much only seen canonically asexual characters and not much else buddy.

[bunnyboyzyon]

Guys why are people so aphobic??? I swear one look at the comments sections of posts that can be seen as excluding aspec experiences and it's so clear that the rest of the queer community doesn't respect asexuals/acespecs and aromantics/arospecs as a part of it.

You preach how being gay isn't a choice, you can't choose to be gay and you can't grow out of it, yet you also say people can grow out of being asexual. People tell you you're too young to be lesbian and everyone has your back, but if someone is told they're too young to be aromantic then they're left to the wolves.

What the fuck??? For a community that's entire thing is acceptance and understanding you sure as hell don't seem to accept or understand aspecs. We are queer, just like you. We'd fucking appreciate it if we were treated as such.

[heybatterbats]

I’ve been seeing entirely too many posts about how ace-spec people aren’t really LGBTQ+ and don’t belong at Pride. And I got mad about it. So…*aces your Batfamily*

Yes, all of them. Every last one is now ace-spec in some way. They even named their dog Ace.

Bruce is sex-neutral biromantic demisexual, and came out by accident at age 24 to a random reporter who was not expecting it. This sparked a social media storm that was only halted by the much bigger social media storm of Bruce adopting Dick.

The Batman has been asked his sexuality before. Bruce replied- perfectly straight faced- that the Batman is an asexually reproductive entity and creates its Robins via mitosis. A third of Gotham, most of Metropolis, and several members of the Justice League still believe this.

Dick is sex-repulsed biromantic asexual, and is of the type to make the dirtiest jokes you’ve ever heard because sex is a joke to him. Came out in the form of an acrobatics performance he did at a pride parade, wearing a terrible Batman costume with a bi heart as the Batsymbol, an ace flag cape, and no pants. The audience was ecstatic. Bruce was mortified.

Nightwing has never said his sexuality, but anyone who claims he’s straight is quickly met with pictures of the Discowing suit and up to a dozen laughing emojis.

Jason is sex-repulsed aromantic asexual. He’s not as vocal about it as Dick is, but he does like it to be known. He’s the type to make garlic bread/cake/world domination jokes. And ESPECIALLY dragon jokes. He kinda tends to just insert it casually into conversation, he didn’t do anything crazy to come out. It’s just a fact about him.

Red Hood claims to be sexually attracted exclusively to guns. Bruce hates this joke.

Tim is the opposite of Bruce- he’s sex-positive bisexual demiromantic. One of the few Batkids to come out while in costume- he got a concussion on a case and blearily mumbled into Bruce’s hair that he’s “you but backwards” and completely confused Bruce. Tim is a little shy about his identity, but since dating Bernard he’s been more open about it.

Red Robin is out as bisexual, but hasn’t added demiromantic to that. Tim is worried people will piece his secret identity together, since Tim doesn’t realize that most normal people are not highly skilled detectives who can tell a person’s identity from a single acrobatics move.

At the moment, Damian just thinks he’s feeling the normal “ew cooties” that most children do. In the future he’ll realize that he’s sex-repulsed ace/aro, although he’ll refuse to use those terms in favor of broodily muttering “this bloodline dies with me.” Ra’s has an actual heart attack the first time Damian says this to his face and has to go into the Lazarus Pit to recover. Talia has never been more proud.

Barbara is sex-neutral, demiromantic and asexual. She’s more outspoken about it than most of the family, and runs social media pages about disability and the asexuality spectrum alike. Aphobes and ableists that make the mistake of leaving comments often mysteriously find that their most embarrassing search histories have been sent to their grandmother.

Cass is sex-repulsed ace/aro. Steph was the one to explain sexuality to her, and also made her an ace ring. Cass told Bruce first, then the rest of the family. She’s never come out publicly- Cass doesn’t like media attention being on her- but some sharp-eyed Gothamites who are looking can spot the black ring on Cassandra Cain-Wayne’s middle finger in a few paparazzi shots the papers got their hands on. (I have a fic about this!)

Black Bat has never been asked her sexuality, mainly because she’s absolutely terrifying and nobody can stammer out the words when faced with her.

Stephanie is sex-positive graysexual grayromantic, and absolutely not shy about it. She’s almost as good as Dick at making horrible, filthy jokes. Has punched a guy in the face for aphobia, does not regret it. Stephanie is out and proud and loud about it.

Spoiler/Batgirl III have both been seen wearing a rainbow flag as a cape too many times for anyone to assume they’re straight.

Duke is sex-neutral demisexual/demiromantic, and is probably the most open about it of the whole Batfamily. He’s fully out and so is Signal, and will inevitably show up at any daytime Pride event just to say hi. Gotham adores him, and he’s practically the ace-spec community’s mascot. Can and will use the entire rainbow spectrum of light to create various pride flags over Gotham whenever he feels like it, and has started taking flag/location requests. Once turned the Batsignal gay.

Harper is sex-positive bisexual aromantic, and where Stephanie is loud about it, Harper gets violent. She carries a souped-up taser and doesn’t hesitate to use it. Has knocked at least four homophobes/aphobes out cold not counting the ones she beat up in the Narrows. Bluebird is not only publicly out as bisexual but wears two out of three bisexual colors, and while it’s not come up publicly yet, she won’t hide that she’s aromantic either. Along with Signal and Spoiler, Bluebird is one of the vigilantes that’s known for being specifically good at handling LGBTQ+ issues. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

After being forcibly outed as gay and then bullied for it, Cullen is still in the closet about the fact that he’s asexual and sex-repulsed, too. The first person he told after Harper was Alfred. By now the whole family knows, but they’ve been careful to keep it away from the media until Cullen’s ready to come out himself.

Alfred is sex-neutral, aromantic, and pansexual, though he’s older than some of those terms and doesn’t often use them to describe himself. Bruce didn’t know Alfred was anything but straight until he was almost seventeen, to which Alfred replied- signature eyebrow raise at full height capacity- that he had a career in the theater, Master Bruce, and no one who does that can possibly be typical in matters of orientation or any other aspect of life.

The outfit might seem antithetical to this, but Selina is ace too! Specifically, she’s sex-positive, heteroromantic and demisexual. The leather outfit is primarily for distraction purposes rather than true sex appeal. When it comes to Bruce, however, Selina’s more than once described herself as “morosexual.” Bruce, bless him, still has no idea what that means.

There ya go. Ace-spec Batfam. Happy Pride to everyone but especially all you fellow ace-spec folks who absolutely, 100% belong there.

[washedoutwings]

hey guys!! just want to clear some stuff up when it comes to being aspec :)

recently we’ve been seeing some veeeeerrryyyyy incorrect takes, such as the following screenshot (no i didn’t blur the name, think of this as a blocklist for you)

as an arospec ace collective, we feel like we’re in a pretty good position to address this. this also isn’t the only person we’ve seen say stuff like this, but we don’t feel like hunting down other harmful takes :)

firstly, if we’re being loud it’s because we aren’t being heard.

[this is literally just how activism works, but go off ig?? -💖🐘]

secondly, who are you to comment on our struggles? we’re white, and as such we don’t pretend to understand the discrimination and struggles that poc face. we know that we have very different experiences and aren’t in a position to say what is and isn’t a struggle for them.

as for these struggles, parents maybe wanting grandkids is nothing. we are excluded from queer spaces for being too straight and not queer enough. we’re discriminated against by allo cishet people because we’re too gay and weird and immoral. when we create our own spaces we are told that we don’t deserve them. our only community is each other, and even then it’s filled with infighting because we’re all being told that we don’t belong anywhere.

we are told that we are fucked in the head, belong in a psych ward, are just trying to get attention, shouldn’t be allowed around people, are sociopaths/psychopaths (which is also ableist), are just naive/immature/ugly, just need an excuse for not getting laid, and are predators. these are literally all things that we (this collective) have been called personally.

we can’t talk about it in therapy or to doctors because now that’s the problem that needs to be fixed and we need to unpack the trauma that caused it. they are literally trying to tell us that our orientation is not real and is actually a problem or disorder that needs to be solved and changed. that is literal fucking conversion therapy

and we sincerely doubt that many aspec people would struggle with dealing with even worse aphobes because we do anyways. daily. from our family, our community, our healthcare, coworkers, classmates, and just about everyone else we interact with.

userboxes by @/inhumanliquid i think