#you are not allowed to dictate how other people use the internet just because they interact with your stuff

[perdvivly]

Not waiting for chance or fate to dictate the terms of how annoying I’m allowed to be on the internet. I am choosing to answer them all now, unasked as I am.

1) This is mildly variable depending on the amount of effort I’m willing to expend. Typically the common theme is no adulterants. No sugar, no milk, no queen of England. If I’m getting fancy with it I’ll make an effort to time the brewing duration, 3mins for a black tea, 5mins for a green tea, 7mins for a herbal tea. But honestly the sort of depression chic I’ve been serving lately has been leaving the bag in and drinking it straight, tannins be damned.

2) Mandarin. Just seems like it’d be the most useful innit. Also, relatively harder to pick up non-magically given my native Englishhood.

3) God. I try not to honestly. No, but seriously, my sleep schedule has been all sorts of out of shape recently. I should work on that. At the moment it varies wildly day to day and depends on my responsibilities the days before and after the sleep. I’ve pulled a couple of all nighters recently and it gets screwy.

4) Maybe atla? I remember really liking it when it came out but not fully understanding the whole plot because I didn’t see it serialised until later. Maybe the simpsons? There’s something to say here about the earnestness of the earlier seasons and seeing a deeply dysfunctional family care about each other in ways they struggle to express—that gets glossed out as the production value rises in the later seasons—that’s like heroin to someone trapped in an irony poisoned world. But maybe that’s cope? Maybe it’s just the show I had the easiest access to as a kid. I guess I didn’t watch a whole bunch of tv or at least not a whole bunch that stuck with me.

5) Summer ez. (Have you seen her baphomet pics? 🥵)

6) In general, I doubt very much that either the optimist or the pessimist considers themselves such. It’s not really the sort of thing that admits of self-diagnosis in that way… Philosophically, the broader question is what? Do I align with Schopenhauer, Voltaire’s Leibniz, or Russel’s Leibniz? I’m not sure the tumblrinas care about the history of philosophy. I guess I’ll say to the extent that Schopenhauer relies on Indian mysticism, which I think is typically underrated, he’s simply mistaken about the world as will and representation. I’ll say that, I’m *not* a Buddhist. I think the doctrine of dukkha misses fundamental aspects of human existence. I’ll say that people have richer inner lives, deeper felt internal experiences, than you might assume from reading their little words on the internet. And that, on the whole, these are good things.

7) I mean, both ideally. Variety is the spice of life. If I had to choose I suppose it would be sunshine. But I’m terribly glad I don’t live in a world where I have to choose.

8) I have the cutest little book marks. My primary two at the moment are the sun and the moon, which I use for main text and end notes respectively. Though, I have been known to dog-ear in my time. I once got yelled at by my aunt for turning the corner of the page on my copy of Harry Potter and the order of the phoenix because it was a first edition and she was under the impression that it may be valuable some day. I was like, come on man, I’m 7. Don’t even piss. <- I didn’t say these things, but I was *like* that.

9) For the longest time I *only* wore steel toe capped boots because I ran myself over with an electric pallet stacker and tore my toenail off and decided I didn’t want that to happen again. I don’t do that anymore because I interact with heavy machinery less than I used to. Now all that matters to me is that they’re waterproof.

10) *My* signature scent like, I produce it? Or like I like it? I guess one of my favourite scents is lavender. But I've been told... Okay, it's important you guys know I do *not* have a yeast infection... I've been told some parts of my body naturally smell like bread, like, that sort of doughy yeasty (I s2g I do *not* (I did not hit her. I did not! oh hi mark)) smell that you get with bread sometimes. Is that what the question was asking?

11) I mean... That's broadly not for me to decide right? Unless the sort of dragons you're imagining have some sort of glamoury illusion magic, which seems plausible. Anyway, do you guys remember in Moby Dick when he goes on this wild tangent about how St. George and The Dragon was acutally about whales? And St. George's horse was actually a walrus or something. What was that about??

Okay, author's note, there's a time skip here. I've been scrolling through lists of dragons in popular culture for a while now and there are a pretty neat and widely varied selection of designs. I'll get back to you on this one.

12) It depends on why I'm writing! If it's a quick note to myself for future reference it'll generally be cursive, if it's an important document that will be read by other people generally it'll be print. If it's time-sensitive it'll be cursive. I remember writing essays for undergrad that I'm sure were totally illegible by the end of them, I think literally just a line on a page with occasional lifts and dips.

13) There is more information on wookieepedia than existed in my philosophy but a few minutes ago. The typology I've discerned is thus: blue - jock, green - nerd, yellow - geek, red - edgelord. And I'm a little bit of all of these, so I think any would be fine. Realistically though, I'm not sure a lightsaber is the best weapon in fantasy space-past-future where spaceships and lasers are common. Like, I'll let it slide because the original trilogy was doing a kirkegaardian faith thing and the prequels were doing a logic doesn't matter it's cool thing, and those are both respectable motivations to leave logistics aside for a bit.

14) Sad

15) Ice skates! I love ice skating!

16) I'm a youngest. I have an older sister, I think I talk about her here from time to time.

17) Well, how I would use it would depend massively on what it was. If the question is which superpower I think is the best then why not ask that? Which superpower would I have has a faint ring of incomprehensibility about it. It's really not clear which counterfactual is under consideration. *If* what?

Anyway, I think time control powers are up there right? Top five at least, easy. Imagine what you could do if you could stop time and sleep whenever you felt like it. I feel King Leerish about the ability to just be well rested. I would do such things, what they are yet I know not.

18) The problem with romantic relationships is that eventually, all of your most interesting clothing will end up in someone else's closet. I think my day-to-day wear tends to be mostly blues, blacks and whites. Not hugely interesting colourwise.

19) Snake, I think, they have fewer demands and I can't really handle any more pressure in my life than I already have. I would hate to be a bad bird mom... I would hate to be a bad snake mom too, but I think it's easier. Typically regarded as easier. I don't know.

20) Okay, so, it's like this right: medieval battle = will probably die. And it's also like this: behind city walls = safe, my friend and lover and confidant. And so, for very obvious reasons, it's gotta be a bow right? Like, I'm standing way out of the action and I'll shoot some arrows long range. But if that's against the spirit of the ask then it's gotta be some kind of polearm, like a halberd or something. Not even close. The advantage you get from distance is hard to overstate. Yeah, polearm for sure.

21) Mint choc chip, it's just such a classic. But also, I had a "london fog" flavour recently that was really compelling. It's just earl grey and vanilla but it's so good.

22) I'm more of a herbs person than a spices person. Like, hmm, I do really enjoy paprika and ginger and stuff like that, don't get me wrong. But it doesn't really hold a candle to the sheer universality of parsley or basil or oregano or mint. Herbs stay winning.

23) These days it's aptos because I am the worlds most basic bitch. And yes, I do still have a fondness for arial.

ask game that tells a lot about you.

how do you take your tea / coffee?

if you could be fluent in any language at the snap of your fingers, which one and why?

when do you wake up?

what was your favourite tv show as a kid?

summer or winter?

realist, optimist, or pessimist?

rain or sunshine?

how do you mark your spot in a book?

what are your favourite shoes like?

what would your non-perfume/cologne signature scent be?

if you were a dragon, what would you look like?

is your handwriting more print, cursive, or a mix?

what colour would your lightsaber be?

what is your defining personality trait?

roller skates or rollerblades or ice skates?

are you an only child? oldest / middle / youngest?

what would your superpower be? how would you use it?

what’s your clothing colour palette?

pet snake or pet bird?

weapon of choice in a medieval battle

the best ice cream flavour

what spices do you always use when cooking?

default font when typing?

[distracted-obsessions]

I am either going to have to figure out how to filter out this person's posts about rebloging or unfollow them...

[myfandomrealitea]

okay, so- this is coming from someone who really hasn't engaged in fandom discourse, especially regarding shipping and such. I dearly hope this doesn't come across as bait or troll, I'm genuinely curious and want to learn. apologies for the possibly-dumb question, but I really just need to ask-

what is proshipping? and what are 'antis'?

you know how it is, when you ask around you always get a biased answer one way or another. "proshippers are pedos" "proshippers all condone incest" "proship Bad and if you interact You Are Bad" (i think these are 'anti' points of view? am i using that term right? that's the rhetoric ive mainly heard). but despite all of that, i don't know if ive ever actually gotten a straight answer as to just.. what it factually is. because it doesn't feel like the sort of thing that you can boil down to insults or accusations or whatnot. it's all just very confusing to me, especially because i come from a place that essentially just told me to avoid like the plague and never look back. sorry, this became a bit of a ramble, lol. thank you so much in advance, i hope i'm not being a bother or insulting with this ^^;

The modern term; 'proship' (s.a; 'proshipping' and 'profiction') is an evolution of an earlier fandom acronym known as: 'SALS.'

Ship And Let Ship

SALS was one of the earliest fandom adoptions and interpretations of the concept of not bullying others for what they shipped or their fandom interests, and not trying to control or dictate what was "allowed" to be shipped or enjoyed. The most notable origin of SALS was during the early years of accessible fandom via Star Trek, and the present homophobia and misogyny in a largely male-dominated community.

As woman became more involved in fandom spaces, the presence of 'other' ships and pairings began to increase. M/M, F/F that wasn't purely for sexual gratification, and M/O and F/O (where 'O' is Other) pairings were popular amongst women, much as they still are today.

Not only did the presence of women in a "male space" receive a not insignificantly negative reaction, so too did them filling the fandom space with their shipping content. Now; sexism and misogyny and homophobia were not entirely to blame. Again as is still very much present today, people simply Did Not Like Certain Ships or Characters. And as they still do today, they'd spread hate about them and to the people who did enjoy them.

Thus: the birth of SALS.

(In other words: I like what I like and it has fuck all to do with you. Shut up and move on.)

Back then, SALS was mostly contained to just that. Ships and characters. Since back in that era 'taboo topics' and 'sexual content' were still pretty covert, people weren't exactly arguing the merits of incest in public forums and at conventions.

However, as all things do, the internet evolved. Society evolved. Media evolved. And so too did 'SALS' evolve in keeping with the new culture and subjects present in fandom spaces.

Suddenly it wasn't just ships and characters to be advocated for. It was themes. Subjects. Kinks. Plots. The more things people found to enjoy, so too did the more things people found to hate.

'Proship' is actually grammatically pro-ship. As in; in support of shipping. This is why I always state that the modern conceptions of proshipping would more accurately be coined profiction. It is no longer just about ships, but fiction as a whole.

However; the core value and sole inherent point of being proship, SALS, profiction and so forth remains exactly the same:

[I/We] believe you have no right to harm others over the [ship/content] they create or consume and [I/we] do not have the right to dictate what is or is not allowed in fandom spaces.

That's it. Don't harass people for what they enjoy fictionally. Don't try to force them into not enjoying or being able to enjoy it.

Of course, the modern adaption varies wildly in terms of 'additional values' thanks to the evolution of the term and what it can encompass. However, there is certainly no obligation to:

Create or consume content you are uncomfortable with.

Create or consume content regarded as 'taboo' or 'triggering.' Such as incest.

Be involved with any aforementioned content beyond turning a blind eye if its not your thing.

Inherently, anyone who says they're 'neutral' on the matter but firmly believes in minding their own business is just a proshipper refusing to use the label if you're taking the term solely at its core value.

In terms of 'antis' they're just the antithesis of the above. Antis are people who generally believe that fiction is irrevocably tied in with who you are, what you believe/condone, and that real-life limitations and values should also apply to fiction.

Although, its is heavy debated and it wildly varies per individual to the degree this is taken.

(E.g: some 'antis' believe you should only write rape fic if you are a victim using it as catharsis or education. Other 'antis' believe there's absolutely no excuse or reason to write rape fic at all.)

Antis typically believe that enjoyment or being invested in content which is regarded as harmful or illegal in real life is morally unsound and reflects that you're a bad or morally unsound person.

Although I disagree, I can honestly say in some aspects I do understand this reasoning. I don't agree, but I do understand why people may come to that conclusion.

As with proshippers, antis vary from people who simply ignore and block content they don't agree with to radicals.

'Anti' is again a prefix. Although modern adoption of the term uses it as a singular signifier, it would grammatically be anti-[fandom], anti-[character], ect. As was commonly used in the past.

The rhetoric that all proshippers are pedophiles or support incest is common-spread and effective 'anti' propaganda. Similar to how so many people believe 'proship' inherently signifies that you must create and/or consume taboo or darker content.

It doesn't.

¹ Proship may also be accurately termed as simply: 'anti-harassment.' ² Its important to note the 'definition' of these terms may vary wildly depending on the individual. However, detailed above is the most historical use and evolution of the terms and their definitions.

[porcelain-gal]

NOT-SO-SMALL RANT ABOUT THE SHIFTING COMMUNITY this has been pissing me off for some time now so i'm going to yap about it and if you don't agree w/ me, feel free to block me! also please note that this is just a general rant and isn't targeted at any specific individual(s) because i've been seeing this on here and in other shifting communities.

this is going to be the laaaast time i talk about this because i don't want to be know for complaining all the time anymore LMAOAO! anyways allow me to start by saying this. if what someone's doing in regards to shifting isn't harmful, bigoted, racially insensitive, or truly problematic and it doesn't affect you, stop being an annoying piece of shit and judging people for what they do with the realities they shift to ESPECIALLY if you can't handle/don't like it being done to you. you do not get to judge and dictate what people do in their lives, who they shift for, why they shift, what wording they use in terms of shifting, nothing.

YOU DON'T GET A SAY IN THE HARMLESS SHIT SOMEONE ELSE DOES IN THEIR LIFE JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

and yes i get that there's certain stuff that's just based off of morality and culture and history, i'm not talking about that because i too am personally very sensitive about that stuff for reasons of my own. i'm talking about some of you who judge shifters for wanting to shift to have consensual sex with legal adults as a legal adult in that reality. or some of you who judge people for having multiple partners because you just can't seem to wrap your head around it or simply choose to be ignorant. or some of you who even judge people because they script that they get attention and that they're smart and pretty. because think about it.

what does any of that have to do with you?

you act like YOU'RE gonna be the one living their life when you're not. many of you judge people for shit and you don't even know how they perceive it yet you're too close-minded to even think outside of your own head and consider their thought process. many of you seem to forget that you are shaming someone's entire lives for miniscule shit. like these are their LIVES. and not to mention, many of you claim that "don't mean to judge" but just because you say that you're not judging doesn't mean that you're not being judgmental. the shit you say can still be offensive or demotivating or just straight up bigoted/prejudice to the people you're talking about when you could've just kept it to yourself.

imagine if a straight person came online and said that they didn't like when queer people spoke about their queer experiences/partners/whatever because it made them uncomfortable and they couldn't relate but "they aren't judging, they just don't agree with it?" you see how fucked that sounds? well you probably don't because you're doing the exact same thing just in a different community about different shit, all of which ain't got nothing to do with you.

how would you feel if someone on this app started bashing you for who you shift for and saying that shifting for this person was so stupid and going into detail about how fucking lame you are? you wouldn't like it right? because that's your partner and you love them, right? so why the fuck do you think you can do that to other people? seriously, it's starting to get very fucking ridiculous.

please just think before you start judging people for harmless shit because they might turn around and do the same shit to you or call you out for not minding your own business and now you're all offended and getting flamed for being an asshole. and if you truly just need to talk shit about someone's life, maybe get some friends who share your values and talk privately instead of putting everything on the internet. now go shift! <3

SINCERELY, A Serial Yapper with A Lot To Say

[rowarn]

Thank you for standing up for people who write/read dark fics. I personally read CNC because it helps me work through my traumas. Some people don’t realize it becomes a coping mechanism, and it’s honestly a really shitty feeling seeing so many people kink shame and the like on here :/

mwah, i'm always on ur side babie !! i just don't think fiction is that serious at the end of the day. the dark genre has always existed and i truly believe anyone should be allowed to express themselves as they please. writing is a perfectly normal and fine outlet for coping.

when i was a child i was in an abusive household and i actually started writing because i discovered it felt really good to write all these dark thoughts down into a fantasy universe that i could curate and control. i used to have notebooks filled with it, im talkin like i was 10, 11, 12 years old writing it. and as i got older i brought it up to a therapist i had been seeing and i said like hey ive got these notebooks and i write some pretty fucked up dark shit in them is that like ??? normal??? why do i like doing that??? and she told me that exploring trauma thru fiction is a great outlet, it's in a controlled, safe format and no one is getting hurt. if it makes you feel good and helps you work through your emotions and your feelings and makes things feel less bad then that's all that matters. she wasn't in any way going to dissuade me from using these topics as 'fantasy' because it was good for me!!!

and i stand by that, i truly believe that if darkfic helps you feel better and you enjoy it and it doesn't harm you...then do it. don't listen to people who have no idea what your experiences are, how you feel, or what you need. only you can dictate that, not people who just think it's "icky" or that you need to be "fixed" because you're a "degenerate/freak" because it's not true. you're just human, working thru things in a human way!!! i discovered darkfic completely on my own 0 internet 0 books i just opened a notebook and started writing and i filled NUMEROUS notebooks with it (i'm pretty sure i still have them LMAO) !!! all on my own as a child!!! and i'm in my 20s now and i can confidently say i have not been harmed by my own coping.

so !!!! i am always on ur side, my love. even if others aren't, i know you're just doing the best you can and coping in a perfect fine, normal way!! <3 MWAH

[eukarisparadise]

There's something I really needed to get out of my system for the long time, and I understand that many have probably said this before.

Look, I adore MTMTE. I respect Roberts as a writer and he made an absolute masterpiece that changed my life (literally, I've met my life-long friends over this comic) and I think that he did a fantastic job in terms of plot-twists and character development.

However, what he did specifically to Rodimus was... uh.

I know that the entire IDW universe is, essentially, a one big anthology of the works of various authors, who, let's be honest, didn't always read each other. That's how, I believe, we got an MTMTE Rodimus, who does things... that feel so unnatural to him that you can't help but wonder, what was really the reason for doing so.

When I started reading this series, I asked my friends, what do some of his actions mean – «why the hell did he even agree to take Overlord?»; «why would he allow Drift to take all the blame on himself?»; «HOW DID HE ACCEPT MEGATRON ON THE BOARD??» – and their answer was... nothing. Nothing essentially to explain here, because the only reason for these and many other of his actions I could think of, is:

Roberts needed the plot to happen. And for that, he sacrificed Rodimus's already established character integrity.

I don’t remember which comic it was in, but I vividly remember one scene from some other, not connected to MTMTE series: Optimus (as usual) refused to kill Megatron and Rodimus, his face twisted with rage, started torturing Megatron with electricity. You mean to tell me, this guy would listen to anyone and let him on the ship? You mean to tell me, he wouldn't kill him on sight the second they make the quantum leap from Cybertron, trial or not?

And, although I don't like Getaway and the way he left the entire crew with DJD, but Rodiums I got first familiar with would be just thrilled to hear all of his ideas on how to creatively get rid of Megatron, because- no, literally, what the hell was that?

Okay, I understand the fact that I'm biased. I live in a country that's currently under siege, and I share the internet space with people who, in the safety of their homes, sometimes are still choosing to humanize and sympathise with a crazy fascist dictator that would be glad to wipe them out like he does with us. I acknowledge that that's alters one's perspective a little bit. But the entire Cybertronian race (AND MANY OTHERS – let's not forget countless organic civilizations that endured genocides after genocides in Megatron's colonial expansion) had to deal with this guy for four million years.

And I get that it probably wasn't entirely Roberts' fault – IDW publishing had the universe ending planned beforehand and that's why the entire «Lost Light» sequel felt so rushed. But are you seriously implying that MEGATRON, of all people, could be reformed by one fun trip? And forgiven not just by the crew – but Rodimus and Ultra Magnus specifically??.. Mind you, they already made their mind on him before the sequel – and it absolutely wasn't the one that they would make if they weren't so heavily OOC'd.

I hate the fact that the plot just wouldn't happen the way it did without this forced character dumbing. I hate it, because I love MTMTE story, and its crew, and its captain. And its lessons. But the way of teaching these lessons sometimes makes me want to throw in a towel, because no. I refuse to believe that someone who's entire life was defined by the want to be the leader his friends wanted, could do this many mistakes that lead to their hurt (and both allowing Overlord AND Megatron, were such mistakes). So, I choose to continue to be delulu and pretend that none of this happened – and they never returned to Cybertron as well, and they achieved something more. Don't blame me, I know you all are doing the same.

[toldbytendo]

"no more microphones: how misogynoir continues to reveal itself — it’s time for podcast licenses." 🙄

Hey lovelies,

I’m tired and I wanna talk about it…🤦🏾‍♀️

Podcast licenses should most definitely be a thing. Honestly, if this is the kind of content that "free speech" allows, maybe we need to rethink it altogether. Imagine the peace we'd have if people (men) needed approval before being handed a mic—because right now, it seems like anyone (men) with an internet connection and a bad opinion gets a platform. If a little censorship could keep this kind of nonsense rubbish out of our ears, it may be worth it!

Watching the recent controversy unfold with James and Fuhad from Shxts and Gigs has actually really irritated and annoyed me. James and Fuhad’s comments about Black women weren’t just offhand or "jokes." They were rooted in a long-standing pattern of dehumanising, belittling, and degrading Black women in ways that are too familiar to ignore. I saw their apology, if you can even call it that, and I was left wondering—do they really believe they did something wrong, or are they just trying to calm the storm? When Andrew joined in, laughing at their apology on his own platform, it only made it worse. This is the circle we keep going around in. Men laughing at other men for even attempting to apologise for their wrongdoing, while we, Black women, are left sitting with the pain of being torn apart by the same people we would naturally expect to come to our defence.

First and foremost, it’s absolutely nobody’s place besides Black women to tell us how we should feel about this controversy. We were the ones disrespected and degraded, and it is entirely our right to process and cope with that in whatever way we see fit. Whether that means speaking out, stepping back, or holding onto our anger for as long as we need, it’s not up to anyone else—especially not Black men or those defending these actions—to dictate how we react. We are the offended party here, and we deserve the space to feel, grieve, and respond on our own terms.

My initial thoughts were simple: we (Black women) need to stop expecting Black men with microphones, who *very clearly* do not like Black women, to run to our defense. I’ve spent too much time hoping for the men in our community to step up and recognise the harm they perpetuate, but the truth is, many of them simply won’t. They don’t have the emotional maturity, nor the desire, or mental capacity to understand the nuances of what it means to be a Black woman in this world.

But my perspective has since shifted. It’s not just about expecting them to be ‘pro-Black’ or ‘pro-Black women’. That’s too idealistic at this point. It’s about speaking up against blatant racism and disrespect, especially when it’s directed at women in their own community. This isn’t about policing preference. I truly support and encourage anyone, Black men included to love who they love, wholeheartedly. It’s literally not about who you’re attracted to. It’s about the line that gets crossed when Black women are made to feel inferior, unworthy, and less-than in the eyes of Black men who have been indoctrinated with the same anti-Blackness that white supremacy relies on. You can quite literally see it playing out in this situation, Andrew (a known misogynist, racist and white suprematist) is quite literally getting exactly what he hoped out of this situation.

We’re not even talking about accountability anymore. At this point, it’s about survival. We truly deserve better, but I personally can no longer waste my energy demanding something that feels like it's constantly being denied. I feel so defeated. It’s such a debilitating and depressing experience opening social media and seeing your community, Black women, being dragged, laughed at, bullied and degraded online. We’re only human. We keep calling out the harmful rhetoric. We keep showing how deeply it affects us. Yet, there’s always a flood of Black men defending their behavior, telling us we’re “too sensitive” or that “it’s never that serious.” They show up to silence us rather than holding their brothers accountable.

Would it have been “not that serious” if they had spent an entire podcast episode dragging Black men instead? Would Andrew have laughed and mocked an apology if the target wasn’t Black women, but someone who looked like him? There’s no question that they would have had something to say. But when it’s about us?

Crickets. 🦗

I don’t have the energy to argue anymore. We’re in 2024. If Black men haven’t unlearned their internalized racism by now, then they never will. Anti-Blackness runs rampant within our own community, and it breaks my heart. I’ve said all I can, and I know many of you feel the same—tired, heartbroken, and utterly defeated.

The truth is, we don’t need validation from these men, and we don’t need to keep begging for respect. We’ve seen time and time again that some of them just aren’t capable of giving it. But what we do need is to recognise that our hurt is valid, and it’s okay to feel disturbed by what’s happening. It’s okay to be bothered when you see these “apologies” that do nothing but laugh in the face of accountability. It’s okay to disengage, to stop pouring your energy into a well that doesn’t run deep enough to support you.

At times like these, the importance of looking to one another, to other Black women, for a sense of community is more crucial than ever. We need to uplift one another because, as painful as it is, controversies like this reveal some dark realities that come with being a Black woman. But it’s just one part of the experience—it doesn’t define us. Unionising and speaking out when disrespect like this occurs is essential, not just to raise awareness but for ourselves—to make it clear that we see what’s happening and we will not forget. But once we’ve spoken up, we also need to remind ourselves to move on from these moments of disrespect.

This ridiculousness will never define Black womanhood, because only we have the power to define who we are. Black womanhood is not aggression, manipulation, or whatever else they try to paint us as. We know better. It’s a multifaceted, beautiful experience that can never be reduced to the tired, harmful stereotypes these men keep pushing. We don’t need to rely on podcasts hosted by racists, misogynists, and anti-Black clowns to tell us who we are. Our sense of self, our strength, and our beauty is something only we can shape, and we do.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about expecting better from them anymore. It’s about demanding respect for ourselves—whether they give it to us or not. And sometimes, that means stepping back to protect your peace.

Just had to get that off my chest, feeling a lot at the moment. 🫠🥴

[liviawildrose]

𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐞

trigger warning: mention of abuse, bullying, self harm.

hello everyone, i’m livia wildrose. welcome to my digital diary, a safe place to share my “levelling up” journey with you. i’m starting this blog to document my glow-up journey from scratch to show what “leveling up” really looks like, beyond all the polished internet advice and perfect images. i’m done with the nonsense advice and the idea that growth is supposed to be linear or that a glow-up only means outer transformation. i want this space to be real and raw, to share all the messy details of glowing up that nobody talks about. it’s for anyone who’s also navigating this journey, a place for self-discovery, growth, and sharing the tips and tricks i learn along the way. this blog is a part of my journey. like my little journal that’s here for all of you.

this blog isn’t just a side project, it’s my way of reclaiming my story and taking control of my life. for so long, i’ve felt pressure from people and circumstances that made me feel small or unworthy. i want this space to represent my decision to rise above all of that and become my true self. starting from scratch, i’m determined to show the real side of transformation. everything from the highs and the lows to all the challenges no one talks about. it’s about leveling up physically, mentally, financially, spiritually, career-wise and socially. it’s about glowing up not for somebody else, but for yourself. this blog matters to me because it’s a record of my journey toward self-love, resilience, triumph, happiness, and independence.

on this blog, you’ll find more than just tips and advice. here, i’ll share my personal experiences: the lessons i learn, the mistakes i make, and the small victories, the successes and results. i’m not gonna pretend that this is easy, i’ll tell you guys how it is. you can expect posts about the practical and emotional sides of glowing up, from self-care routines and self-discovery exercises to overcoming setbacks and finding motivation. i’ll also be sharing rituals, journaling exercises, life updates (gossip lol) and insights on spirituality, mental health, manifestations, witchcraft, psychological tricks, subliminal audio, religion (hinduism), relationships (family, relatives, friends, colleagues, and romantic), and building self-love.

ultimately, this blog is a space for all of us who want to become stronger mentally, achieve our dreams and empowered whether you’re just starting or you’re already on your journey, there’s a place here for you to connect, share, and grow. if you’re also trying to build yourself up, you’ll find a space here where your journey is respected and valued. you’re not alone in the process, and i want to create a community where we can support each other’s growth.

as i approach my eighteenth birthday, i find myself reflecting on my life and the immense changes i need to make. a transition into adulthood. for so long i was trapped in the cycle of abuse and negativity, particularly at the hands of my parents, friends, relatives, people i love, etc. their toxic behaviour has kept me from pursuing my dreams, making me feel unworthy.

the years spent feeling small, unvalued, and unheard. led me to self harm too that are hard to ignore. the emotional toll of living in a hostile environment, where love feels conditional and support is nonexistent, has shaped my self-perception and kept me from believing in my potential. i’ve allowed their words and actions to dictate my self-worth for far too long.

my experience with bullying from boy i loved and his friends has only added to the weight on my shoulders. being mistreated by those i cared about deeply made me question my value and my ability to trust others. i’ve often found myself doubting my dreams and my worth, feeling like i have to prove myself to everyone around me.

these girls from my class who bullied me, and even indirectly insulted me in-front of the whole class, my entire friends group leaving me the day i decided to set some boundaries, my dad who never misses an opportunity to taunt me. just a few days ago my mom slapped me, i feel nauseous while attending any family event because of the remarks my relatives throw at me.

and there is so much more, my ex calling me “leftover shit” being beaten up by my parents while i was merely 5 or 6 year old (with a belt) all these things cannot to explained in just one post. there are so many things that which i will tell you guys in upcoming blogs too in more detail.

no one deserves this, not me and neither you. i hope to inspire others who have faced similar challenges, reminding them that they’re not alone and it’s never too late to reclaim their lives and pursue their passions. this is my time to shine and with each step forward, i am determined to create a life of my dreams one filled with love, happiness, success, joy and prosperity.

“this is my life and i won’t let anyone take that away from me.”

warning to all readers: this blog is about showing the real side of glowing up, and it’s not always going to be pretty. i’ll be sharing raw, unfiltered photos and maybe even videos to document every part of my journey. even tell you guys the most graphic things ever, cause believe me when i say this. if you want to be the top 1% of the world, there’s no clean and easygoing way. and my desire and suffering has led me here, i ain’t going back. this means you’ll see the highs and the lows, the messy parts, and the not-so-pretty side of transformation. my goal is to be real with you and show you exactly what it takes to grow from the ground up no filters, no fake aesthetics. so if you’re ready to see what real change looks like and you’re not afraid of a little graphic honesty, then follow along. this is my unfiltered journey, and i’m inviting you to see it all with me. (with hardwork, a strong mindset and some magic we’ll make this happen)

if you want to join me on this journey of becoming our highest self please comment, like reblog and follow button and let’s embrace the glow-up together!

[mafaldaknows]

you can’t blame us who joined the fandom late. we weren’t around at the beginning but you all who were told us and so surely that charmie really happened and it’s true up to now. you all had your access to armie’s friends and timmy’s will friend and jps and hint and wink at us. so we’re gonna follow bnf like you.

Hello, Anon:

I’m not sure where you got the idea that anyone is blaming you for anything.

Also, I’ve maintained that I don’t know anything for a fact regarding Charmie and do not presume that it’s true because they themselves have never confirmed it, nor do they owe us confirmation. It’s their story to tell, if they ever want to tell it. Love is love is love and comes in many forms, not just romantic love, and it’s not my place to tell anyone else’s truth. The main focus of this blog is to explore the strong connection between them, however they chose to define it, and to find signs that their close bond still exists.

I’m a seeker of truth and beauty. That’s all. I never claimed to be anything more than that, here in my little corner of the internet, as a fan, just like you, just like all the other fans in the Charmiesphere. I’m grateful that my mutuals allow me the grace and the space to stand with them on the deck of this beautiful ship despite sometimes marching to the beat of my own drum.

The premise of this blog is to look for signs of Charmie. But I never claimed to confirm it. That confirmation can only ever come from them to be valid. We are still merely spectators and speculators, like Mafalda, who always looks for signs.

Many of the signs over the years have pointed towards a specific direction, but reality points us now in another one entirely, and this time, it’s straight from the source.

In light of these recent events, we might be compelled to change course, and that’s ok. Or we might accept the circumstances and adapt. And that’s ok, too, Anon.

As far as reading the signs, generally speaking, I don’t view them as cold, hard facts but as possibilities, moments of kismet or serendipity. It’s what I mean when I say that the Universe winks. We would still need the two people involved to confirm their truth for the signs to have any real meaning. That’s how I see it, anyway.

I started this blog during the pandemic lockdown as a fun way to pass the time and then fell down the CMBYN rabbit hole, which led to an even deeper Charmie rabbit hole, which turned out to be a big, beautiful bottomless pit. It has never been my intention to mislead anyone in this space nor have I ever dictated to anyone what they should or shouldn’t believe about Charmie. These are just my own thoughts and observations about this beautiful ship, one that I recognize as a fantasy, but that also once had the very real possibility of coming true.

Once upon a time. Perhaps someday in the future. Or maybe never. Your guess is as good as mine at this point, Anon.

I write mainly about the possibilities of Charmie, not absolute facts, unless I have evidence to support those facts. When Armie was faced with false allegations, I shifted my focus to his defense. Time and evidence have proven that it was the right thing to do. Truth and Justice always win.

Love does too, when all is said and done.

That much I know is true.

Thanks for your comment. ❤️🧿

[jadehaven]

Hello! I hope I'm not coming across as rude or anything, but I notice that a lot of people are upset because negative stuff about Celeborn is being accidentally tagged and it shows up in his tumblr tag. I'm of the belief that we are free to ship and dislike whatever we want, but I don't think it's a good idea to put negative stuff about him in his own tag. I'm Elondriel myself, and I know we hate seeing negative stuff about it in our own tags too. Could I ask you to please not write 'celeborn' as a whole word, but to break it into parts like cele/born or even 'cele born' when you're mentioning him in your tags so it doesn't look like we're intentionally putting hate into his own tag? Again, sorry for the weird ask, I just want shippers to be respectful of each other and create a peaceful environment for everyone!

Hello, thanks for clarifying your intentions, I appreciate it.

*Ahem*

I went back and forth on how to answer this tbh. There’s some things to be said here that maybe the whole fandom should pay attention to, so let’s get into it…

First things first, I am ship and let ship. Do I strongly disagree with some? Yeah. That doesn’t change the fact that if I follow the tag “Rings of Power”, I’m going to see those ships that I dislike come up on my feed. When I see those posts, I quickly and respectfully scroll on by. Because “ship and let ship” also means to let other people have a voice, and as long as it’s not active hate speech, I can respect without agreeing or even paying any attention.

Secondly, we need to remember that this is a fictional world, and Celeborn currently doesn’t have an actor in Ring of Power. Therefore, I’ve said nothing to offend a real person, even if it offends his fans. We are all allowed to have individual opinions about created things. That’s what art is supposed to be, up to the viewer’s interpretation.

Thirdly (sorry to be annoying by starting my paragraphs this way lol), we need to remember that the internet is a VERY diverse place. There are certain things that should under no circumstances be tolerated. That being said, I think that some folks have become a little bit sensitive about certain subjects, such as fandoms and fictional characters. I’m NOT talking about actors, or real people.

Thing is, I personally don’t mind if people come for Elrondriel. I don’t mind if they hate it with every fibre of their being, and I don’t mind that they post on it either. If someone has criticism about it, writes a well thought out post addressing their problems with it and tags Elrondriel, I will not care. Will I read it? Likely no. But their post is literally on that topic. I can’t go around dictating whether or not their post will be received by the right audience or not.

I think this all weighs in to remind us that we shouldn’t need to walk on eggshells when it comes to certain subjects. I’m sorry if my post offended anyone, but respectfully, it was not a “hate post” or “hate speech” regarding the character. It was an it was a critical observation if anything. Had this not been the case, your request would be more than valid. I expect to see all kinds of opinions when I come online, and it’s my personal duty to guard my heart when it comes to the things I love. But even despite this, there will be things that pop up that I will strongly disagree with and will have to make my peace with. It’s not easy, but it’s real life.

My final point is this: how folks judge my content is solely up to them. They can decide if they think I’m being petty or not, though I never intend to be. If they see my content and tags and discern that it’s being done out of spite, then that is on them. In this particular situation, it would be a different case had I tagged “haladriel” or “celadriel” because I specially wanted to ruffle feathers in the other ships. If some folks still interpret me tagging Celeborn as spiteful, then there’s nothing more I can do other than clarify that it was not my intention.

In lieu of your request, I will make sure to not tag Celeborn in any outright blasphemous posts about him, should I ever make any. But as for now, I will continue to tag the subjects that I write on and leave it up to viewers to either show their support, or scroll past. I hope you can understand.

Thanks for reading, sorry it’s so controversial lol.

xo Jade

[destinyc1020]

Can I be real here? Let me say I'm a woman of color. Period. I love and appreciate everything Francesca stated. She was very well spoke with her candidness. And absolutely agree that you should feel protected at work. But, what I do have an issue with is putting anything like this on a person I work with shoulders. It is the people I work for who should carry the burden as I am an employee of your company and representative. So, to make me feel supported at every turn is a must from my employer. But, if people think that just because Tom would have or should have released a statement you would be incorrect in your thinking. He is an employee be it well known but, an employee. If at anytime she felt unsupported, fearful, or anxious she should have made it absolutely clear to Jamie whose production this was under. I think a therapist should have possibly been brought in for her and any others who felt unsupported. To assume because I speak up or click a like is irreprehensible. Tom doesn't and didn't need to show online support. If you support me, I want tangible support, stuff I can feel, use and hold onto.

Im fascinated by how people put so much on celebrities shoulders to the point that you'd think they owe you something personally because they are in the public eye. They don't. They owe me there craft and that's all. I could care less about there relationships, religious beliefs, or anything else that doesn't affect me personally. Content is fun, amusing at best, but, in reality they are within a bubble real people aren't privy enough to. Most of the time I'd rather they say nothing, because people will hate you regardless if they know the full story or not. And they look for reasons to hate you, anything minute. And I will only assume she is under a full NDA as she hasn't mentioned Tom's name once.

Its funny they still showed lots of hate to Zendaya, the young Asian girl from Star Wars and people still spoke out and supported them yet it still got louder and never died down. To this day even. It's like people need Tom to show you what his beliefs are so you can decide whether or not you want to be his fan. Why? Tom Cruise is about sciencetology yet I still enjoy his movies. I don't care about the relationship he does or doesn't have with his daughter. I don't know them.

When race plays a factor with me or my family I never rely on others, I go straight to the source zero reason for third party intervention. I would rather you show me who you are on every level upfront -racism and all and I will show you how much of a clown you are by working hard in silence and moving strategically. I decide how others, or things make me feel, not others. People on the internet are just that, people I dont know. Fuck them and anyone who chooses to give those type of people power. Yes, it needs to be spoken about but, as far as I'm concerned, I'm black, I'm here, deal with it, and fuck those who don't like it, nobody asked you too. Hollywood doesn't represent me, I represent me every time I walk out my damn door. I'm the standard for who my children should model after with my behavior and anything else. Im the example. Not celebrities.

People assume she's saying she wasn't supported by anyone. Does that include all her black castmates as well? Is that reaching? I saw several times they all seemed to have beautiful things to say about him , her and each other. No excuses just stating what I saw off a couple blogs if my memory serves me well.

Anyway, thank you for allowing me to share. I'm always open for learning so if anyone wants to school me feel free. Information is just that, Information. I can either use it, or keep it pushing.

People give social media to much power. When did random people on the internet dictate how others should be or live? My life is my own. No one owes me anything. That would be like because people hate or dislike Tom's dad, he needs to as well. What the hell, we don't know any of these people despite the small glimpses into there lives. Social media has made us less tolerable, more hateful, and unknowingly foolish. My daughter is in college and she and my son have literally deleted Instagram and Twitter. It's a cesspool of people needing others to validate our lives. Nawww... I'm good over here.

Chocolate over here. ✌🏾 Forever black, proud and mindful.

Dont think Francesca isnt aware this article would in ways display him in a bad light. People's interests are rarely hidden regardless of the intent.

Wowwww.... uhhh... you spoke a LOT here Anon.

I'm not going to try to write too much, but I'll just point out some things.

First of all, I couldn't really understand whether or not your post was more so defending Francesca, or more so defending Tom? 🤔

I'm trying to figure out what your exact stance or point is.

Can I be real here? Let me say I'm a woman of color. Period. I love and appreciate everything Francesca stated. She was very well spoke with her candidness. And absolutely agree that you should feel protected at work. But, what I do have an issue with is putting anything like this on a person I work with shoulders. It is the people I work for who should carry the burden as I am an employee of your company and representative. So, to make me feel supported at every turn is a must from my employer.

I def agree that the employer should make you feel safe. Idk if that releases any responsibility from fellow employees though. 🤔

But, if people think that just because Tom would have or should have released a statement you would be incorrect in your thinking. He is an employee be it well known but, an employee.

Have people been saying that recently? I honestly haven't been reading anything related to the recent article tbh. 🤷🏾‍♀️

If at anytime she felt unsupported, fearful, or anxious she should have made it absolutely clear to Jamie whose production this was under. I think a therapist should have possibly been brought in for her and any others who felt unsupported.

How do we know she didn't though? 🤔

And yes, getting her a therapist would have certainly been a good idea... if one wasn't provided for her.

To assume because I speak up or click a like is irreprehensible. Tom doesn't and didn't need to show online support. If you support me, I want tangible support, stuff I can feel, use and hold onto.

I mean, nobody "needs" to do anything. But can you just imagine which way history would have gone (especially here in my country) if people on BOTH sides) had refused to speak out against certain injustices, or reasoned that they just needed to keep silent because their words aren't "tangible"? 🤔 Believe it or not, words have POWER. For good or for bad. 😔

Im fascinated by how people put so much on celebrities shoulders to the point that you'd think they owe you something personally because they are in the public eye. They don't. They owe me there craft and that's all. I could care less about there relationships, religious beliefs, or anything else that doesn't affect me personally. Content is fun, amusing at best, but, in reality they are within a bubble real people aren't privy enough to. Most of the time I'd rather they say nothing, because people will hate you regardless if they know the full story or not. And they look for reasons to hate you, anything minute. And I will only assume she is under a full NDA as she hasn't mentioned Tom's name once.

I mean, if a celebrity doesn't know what the heck they're talking about, then yea, I'd rather they keep their mouths shut and not spread false information out there that could be damaging. 🥴

I don't look to celebrities to be my moral compass, or my political experts. I don't need that either. They don't owe me anything but their work. 🤷🏾‍♀️

But if a celebrity wants to speak out on a particular personal experience of theirs, or speak out on behalf of a fellow coworker, then I see nothing wrong with that! 😊

Look at how pleased we were last week with Keith Powers speaking out on behalf of Tom... twice! Yea, Keith didn't need to do it, and he's nowhere NEAR as famous or popular as Tom is, but words DO matter, and they do have power. Sometimes, it's just nice to see fellow actors sticking up for one another, especially when they're receiving insane amounts of hate online. 😔

And you're right, Fran never mentioned Tom's name at all in any of this. So I'm trying to figure out why you are talking like Tom got attacked by her in all of this? 🤔

Its funny they still showed lots of hate to Zendaya, the young Asian girl from Star Wars and people still spoke out and supported them yet it still got louder and never died down. To this day even. It's like people need Tom to show you what his beliefs are so you can decide whether or not you want to be his fan. Why?

Speaking out might not change how some people feel, but imo, it doesn't hurt? 🥴🤷🏾‍♀️

Tom Cruise is about sciencetology yet I still enjoy his movies. I don't care about the relationship he does or doesn't have with his daughter. I don't know them.

I agree. I don't really care about that sort of stuff unless there is continous, ample evidence that you're a crap person.

When race plays a factor with me or my family I never rely on others, I go straight to the source zero reason for third party intervention. I would rather you show me who you are on every level upfront -racism and all and I will show you how much of a clown you are by working hard in silence and moving strategically. I decide how others, or things make me feel, not others. People on the internet are just that, people I dont know. Fuck them and anyone who chooses to give those type of people power. Yes, it needs to be spoken about but, as far as I'm concerned, I'm black, I'm here, deal with it, and fuck those who don't like it, nobody asked you too. Hollywood doesn't represent me, I represent me every time I walk out my damn door. I'm the standard for who my children should model after with my behavior and anything else. Im the example. Not celebrities.

Sooo... I'm trying to understand... You're saying that you DON'T agree with Francesca speaking out about her experience on the R&J play production? 🥴

I'm just trying to figure out what you're trying to say here.

People give social media to much power. When did random people on the internet dictate how others should be or live? My life is my own. No one owes me anything. That would be like because people hate or dislike Tom's dad, he needs to as well. What the hell, we don't know any of these people despite the small glimpses into there lives. Social media has made us less tolerable, more hateful, and unknowingly foolish. My daughter is in college and she and my son have literally deleted Instagram and Twitter. It's a cesspool of people needing others to validate our lives. Nawww... I'm good over here.

I def agree with all of this.

Dont think Francesca isnt aware this article would in ways display him in a bad light. People's interests are rarely hidden regardless of the intent.

So wait, you're thinking Fran shared her experience with the play to make Tom look bad?? 🥴

So, what... is she just never supposed to speak out on this?

No offense Anon, but it kinda seems like you're blaming the victim here (Francesca), and instead of feeling sorry for her experience, most of your msg seemed to just be defending Tom, instead of defending the person who actually NEEDED the defending in all of this.

You can still feel sorry for Francesca AND still be a Tom fan. The two aren't mutually exclusive imo. But it kinda seems like some fans are even afraid to feel sorry for this girl and aren't even addressing it because they're afraid that it will somehow make Tom look bad or smthg. 🥴

All I'm saying is that it's OKAY to feel compassion for what Francesca went through. We don't know what the cast did to help her feel okay throughout this process. All we know is what she is telling us. And somewhere in this, she did not feel protected at all, which imo, is more so a fault with the James Lloyd theater production company.

At the same time however, if her cast mates wanted to speak out on her behalf, I don't see anything wrong with that either! 🤷🏾‍♀️

Imagine if we just ALL stood silent when people (especially those with less power) are being mistreated. 🥴

[benjaminthewolf]

It’s Time To Have A Serious Conversation.

Two days ago I officially became an adult in the eyes of federal U.S. law. But the party is now over, and we need to have this conversation. Some of my longtime followers may have noticed that unlike many of the people I associate with in this community, I’ve never put an NSFW DNI rule upon this blog. I never had a problem with them interacting and I even wrote trade stories for an old client who I knew liked it as a kink before they were exposed on separate matters. There were two main reasons for this.

1 I simply never felt uncomfortable by people enjoying vore in an NSFW manner interacting with my content. I put out content for people to enjoy, why should I be trying to dictate how they should enjoy it? Shouldn’t they be able to enjoy my content how they want, weather I intended it to be SWF, NSFW or what have you? 

2 Over time as I became more comfortable on this blog I became accustomed to catering to both sides of the community in order to broaden my audience and this worked because as I stated above, I never felt uncomfortable by it. This was the same philosophy behind why I was okay writing trade stories for someone who enjoyed it as a kink. I’ve put myself out as s fulfiller of vore story related wishes, so as long as I’m not uncomfortable with it being for someone on the NSFW side of the community, what’s the issue? Well, everything has finally caught up to me mentally now, and its tearing me to shreds. 

In running a blog that caters to both the SFW and NSFW sides of the community, I have put the SFW community, which has a lot of minors in it, in prime position to be hurt, even if I’ve never intended for anything like that to happen. I’ve muddied the waters between the two instead of setting boundaries between the two for my own benefit, gaining a larger audience, and this fact is utterly destroying me right now. With both SFW and NSFW vore on this blog, with no clear delineation between the two, isn’t that just prime opportunity for a minor to read a SFW one, and then click on an NSFW one without knowing because I never told them? In what world is that not just wrong?

This is especially difficult to talk about considering the fact that this means that for the majority of my time in vore tumblr, I, a minor, was essentially within an NSFW space. Since I was indeed a minor, wouldn’t that make any interaction with the NSFW vore community just utterly gross and wrong for me to do? So what if I was okay with writing a vore story for someone who liked it as a kink? I was a minor who couldn’t consent in the eyes of the law, and wouldn’t that include something such as that? 

But it gets even worse. Because the fact of the matter is...I like vore both in a SFW way and an NFSW way. And the delineation between the two in my mind is also very muddy, to the point where sometimes I don’t exactly know where one ends and the other begins. It’s like they’re two ends of a spectrum, and its the middle area of this that gets very dangerous.

That being said, there is one egregious example I’d like to cover of me going too far in the NSFW direction that makes me very disgusted of my 16 year old self. Because despite the fact I was 16, I inserted myself into a self-indulgent vore fanfiction in order to become the prey of a pred I have a soft spot for. I know with one hundred percent certainty that I wrote that story with kinky intentions because I outrighgt used the word “vorniness” a lot in that story. Some of you may know which story I am talking about. So despite the fact that I was a minor legally incapable of consent, I still wrote a story about me in a sexual scenario, and posted it on the internet. I do not see any way one could possibly justify this. Any of this. Everything I’ve brought up was entirely my fault and just entirely wrong. Disgusting. Horrendous. And it is ripping be apart by my veins.

But...now that I’m basically legally allowed to admit to all of this...what do I do now? Now that I’ve admitted to all this retched shit I’ve done entirely on my own accord, what’s the next step? This is where I’m going to leave this post for right now. Thank you all for your love and support of me and my work over the years. I truly cannot express how much it means to me. Thank you.

-Benjamin

[myopicry]

Hello! Lesbian from the last ask about qprs again! Your ramblings were delightful as expected, it definetely gave me something to think about (as someone who has also identified with aroace for a while before adopting my current "label"). If you're still okay with answering questions, I'd like to know more about your thoughts on the aroace spectrum itself? I remember there being some discourse in the community about whether or not gray area aroaces were valid or not (or something like that... I don't care enough now to remember lol). But just generally, what do you think of the concept of an aroace spectrum? (also can I be 🪼anon pls? I'm pretty sure I'll keep visiting your inbox in the future sorryyyy)

hi again :0 !! honored to get a named anon and I did not know there was a jellyfish emoji so that was also fun to learn lmao, and do not worry I love having stuff in my inbox it's like a little writing prompt for me sometimes and I really love that!

onto the actual question in the ask (which I am also very happy to answer genuinely I enjoy yapping far too much so this is very self indulgent)

it is also very long... I hope you enjoy more long paragraphs !!

similar to how I feel about qprs, I think a lot of the labeling and identification that comes from the concept of the aroace spectrum is just unnecessary and puts far too much focus on the idea of labeling yourself anyways. I mean, does it exist? yeah, it exists since you could define many things as a spectrum if you want to. and clearly, there are people who have such experiences that can be labeled on the spectrum, micro-labels do have some point of origin. but what it always comes down to for me is: does it matter? does it change anything to have a label versus not having one? does it actually help to have a label?

because, on the one hand, I totally get wanting to know that your experiences aren't isolated, that there are others who feel similarly. especially since we live in a world that has such a deluge of media that reinforces a very slim view of what the human experience looks like, and that there are a lot of traditionalist societal norms in the US that dictate the "normative" way to think about sexuality and romance, if you deviate from that norm, it can be incredibly isolating. that's why I do get why there is always so much passion (especially among younger generations) to defend these labels and communities, because in a way people just want to feel seen and understood. that's pretty universal, I think.

however, on the other hand, I think using a spectrum that spawns a new identification label promotes the "being seen" aspect more than the "being understood" part, and at least to me, the understanding is much more valuable when it comes to the function of a label.

a label that allows people to understand you, which can foster community--think "lesbian" as a label, it allows for same-sex attracted women to identify themselves and find each other to share experiences, advice, and advocate for general rights and protections.

a label that allows people to just be seen could be an identifier, sure. but if you just label yourself as "gray ace" or "on the ace spectrum", considering that it is a spectrum and thus could mean pretty different things for different people, it just lets people know this is what you call yourself and you probably think it's interesting enough to keep mentioning. plus, a majority of this kind of niche identification happens online anyway (what would be the point of a aspec bar, y'know. that's just a bar. or what legal protections do gray aces need? everyone has the right to not have sex with people they don't want to, that kind of stuff is in fact protected by the law, which is great) and calling yourself anything on the internet is explicitly about being seen a certain way and not questioned on it. so, the label becomes more of a vanity. maybe a conversation starter. more cynically, maybe a ticket into feeling special and asserting yourself in a larger, trendy community that has been slowly growing in a marketable demographic. (I really wanted to go on a tangent about the "do aromatic/aspec identities belong in the lgbtq community" discourse but then I realized I don't even really believe in the concept of "lgbtq community" so. uh. maybe a ramble for another day.)

(tangent I will go on: one very petty thing that pushed me to question the identification of aroace was that I noticed people who were identified as aroace or on the ace spectrum talked about it so much even though there wasn't much to say outside of niche fandom opinions. I found that a bit irksome, and became more self conscious if I was talking about it too much myself because if I found it annoying, I definitely didn't want to behave like that lol, especially because it's basically a conversational dead end to mention. for definitionally embodying the lack of something honestly aroaces do love to talk about that. I say this as I type another 500 words or something though lmao)

honestly, I think the label of asexual is pretty functional by itself, it's a lack of sexual attraction, which is pretty self explanatory and important to communicate to others. It's unique enough to have it's own community struggles to share (dating while ace, not relating to peers) it's just when you get to stuff like demisexual or throw in the split attraction model then it's actually way faster to just say "I don't really consider that until I have an emotional connection with someone" or "I don't see myself with that person/most people/whatever distinction romantically" or "I care more about personality" or just not talking about it unless relevant in conversation, which most people already do when it comes to their preferences and details of their relationship boundaries.

this is already so long and I feel like I've gone slightly off topic but I am just gonna sandwich this last thing I've been thinking about regarding micro-labels, especially aroace related ones. sometimes, to me, it feels like there's too much possibility for them to become excuses. like, if I say I'm aromantic, I might just be justifying my own fear of intimacy and opening up to people, and no one can push me on this because it's "valid" and if you push back that would be the equivalent of "telling a gay person they're not gay". which it obviously isn't. If I say I'm "fictosexual" I might just not talk to a lot of people in real life and am very obsessed with fandom culture, or I might just have a celebrity crush and very little real relationship experience, which I definitely won't gain if I just label myself as some flavor of aroace and commit to justifying my adherence to a comfort zone. (the aromantic one is based on my actual experience, the fictosexual one is not but I can definitely see how a much younger version of myself might latch on to that. concerning!)

I personally also used the "safety" of the aroace label of not needing to come out as a crutch to ensure I wouldn't have to think about telling my parents at all (it's much easier to tell your parents that you don't feel like dating anyone than to tell them you want to date a woman). it just became another way I could repress things without having to come to terms with the fact that it was repression. sometimes I blame myself for this, sometimes I don't. it is actually pretty bleak sometimes to be same sex attracted, and I have had many sleepless nights where I truly feel the weight of what I have to do to simply find the love and support heterosexuals have easily. it's all tangled up with my self-hatred, and led to me dealing with a lot of anger and dysphoria over "not having it as easy" as men. obviously all that is pretty toxic, and only when I was able to come to terms with being same-sex attracted could I start tackling these things head on. I do think if I kept believing in the aroace spectrum and community wholeheartedly, some of my problems would have gotten worse. repression is not really a good technique, who knew?

all in all, I think if you start to think about all of it too much, it begins to unravel. asexual is maybe the only "useful" label but the rest of it falls apart in meaning and purpose to me. and the more nuanced stuff, like the concept of a split attraction model, is interesting academically and in discussion, but I feel like introducing to the clumsy hands of twitter, tumblr, tiktok (and other social media sites that don't start with t) as a way to determine identities on par with lgb ones is. probably not super productive.

apologies in advance for the unhinged use of prepositions and conjunctions on this one, I had way too much random shit to say and too little energy to actually properly draft and edit it, feel free to ask for further clarification or elaboration! big big thanks again anon I shall look forward to you in my inbox once more :D

[billiethetween]

typically, if someone has recently been through a traumatic situation such as a mass shooting, being sex trafficked, or i dunno, being held hostage in a war zone, it is considered both exploitative and unwise to immediately shove a camera in their face and start blasting everything they are all over social media, because recently traumatized people are not exactly reliable sources because their brains have been scrambled, they are still coming from a place of terror and not reason, and might say things they regret (see: columbine for a great example of how fucked up that is). i don't think i need to explain why israel posting a video saying there are no innocent civilians in gaza is horrible, but i do think it's wise to point out this is yet another example of israel exploiting the hostages and using them as props. while ugly, i'm willing to give a woman who at the time of recording had just been released some grace because frankly i shouldn't be even hearing that in the first place. but a government using a hostages words as genocidal propaganda has no such excuses.

i've mentioned this before, but several hostages have been confirmed to have been killed by idf before the raid, and while details are scarce hamas says three hostages were killed in raid itself. before anyone jumps on me, i don't believe everything hamas says, but this is totally believable and i see no reason to doubt them, given that it would hardly be the first time. i suspect that the numbers are actually much higher. indiscriminate slaughter is just that: indiscriminate.

the blatant disregard for the hostages lives has become a major political problem for netanyahu and his allies both domestically and abroad. while they're willing to give hostages, family members, etc. that stick to the party line plenty of attention, they have ignored and demeaned the many who don't (maybe at some point i'll edit this to provide some; they haven't been quite about this). is impossible to believe that this is about october 7th when they have shown over and over and over again that they do not give a shit or a fuck about the hostages and consider their lives acceptable sacrifices for their own goals. the recent raid which left hundreds of palestinians and at least three hostages dead does not change this. it is a stunt meant to make it seem like they care, because they don't want a ceasefire, they want to see this war through because their goal isn't the safety of their citizens, the rescue of hostages, or even the eradication of hamas. it's to eradicate the palestinian people so israel can have their land, and netanyahu can continue to pursue his life goal of becoming the dictator of israel and using some truly terrifying far-right religious fanatics to do so.

i don't like posting about this much because frankly i don't think i have much to contribute, but this is as good a time as any to remind any other jews reading this that we need to having honest, difficult conversations within our own communities in order to combat this kind of propaganda. withdrawing from jewish life isn't the answer, and getting into flamewars with random internet zionists doesn't help either. you are allowed to correct people and offer alternative perspectives. hell, as long as you're being respectful you can argue with your rabbi. that's allowed! don't forget that. there might be a time where they try and take that away, and we should be prepared for it.

[rametarin]

pre-internet cancel culture

I saw this video, but I feel there's an important distinction to make here. Cancel culture is not, "I'm going to tell people to hate you and you'll be hated."

No, it's more insidious than that. Because these people will first try to pass themselves off as "just" being "anti-racist," or "anti-sexist." At the surface level, every single generation, they will be in a position to impress that on younger people, instruct them to behave that way and impress that on people more inexperienced and younger than them, and that will become the norm and status quo.

They institute histrionic, hyper flaggelant sentiments cherry pick and choose which history they teach in the absence of other facts of history, strong arm young people through these events and then lead them through to their preferred interpretations on how to feel about it, and then "form their own conclusions" based on this misleading, very emotionally charged, very peer pressure, very hyper vigilant atmosphere. And young people experiencing this by their peers, led to believe that unlike the generations older than them, they're "aware" of the prejudices and bigotry, they're Woke and Aware, they're going to Change the World(tm) by not "making the mistakes of their forefathers."

They start seeing the generation older than them as either complacent with a defacto and default evil, white supremacist and male chauvinistic culture, as they're taught, even in very progressive places they see as ultimately just "ruled by milquetoast ineffectual white men," and rebelling against this caricature that does not exist.

And the most horrifying aspect of all is the way in which they use sex and the way the sexes relate to force this line of conversation as the norm. They hypercharge women and girls with this. The romantic interpretations delivered via Feminism then gives the female peers a bar and standard of logic by which to analyze things according to the fiction of privilege theory being the proper way to determine if things are bigoted or not, in one way or another, and then it's a race to the bottom of the simping boys trying to fit this mold of overcompensation in order to not register as an unacceptable unsuitable mate.

Cancel Culture isn't "you better do what I say or I'll mean tweet you and you'll go out of business." Cancel Culture is the indoctrination and emotional manipulation and deliberately slanted way of educating young people about history, cultures, demographics and etc. and using them as shock troops in a culture war.

Businesses have feared this forever. Before it was secular sociological shit, it was fear of flash in the pan preachers that showed up, rode the waves of popular faith and started new religious movements, that told their flock what to do and guided their behavior on what to think, why, and more importantly, what to hate and not buy. Whether it's rationalizing their distaste for the supernatural by a culture war on magic in comic books, or trying to browbeat how art and literature are made in order to be ALLOWED to be marketed and sold, as Sweet Baby Inc. and similar have been doing, trying to gatekeep and dictate culture.

What the woman up there is talking about is not mean tweets and flash in the pan hate protests with a few astro turfed handlers, it's conspirator tenured college professors, their network of political activists that converge and discuss on how to be subversive to business and government institutes and finance, printing off a million information cascades academic articles on how X-thing is bad that just so happens to fit the profile of what a business is selling, and then threatening that business with the wrath of the bleating, overcompensating mob, now trying very hard not to have it be made a sign of bigotry to buy their product.

And as an example, I point to the Harry Potter games. They wanted Rowling to champion their cause, because female famous person, feminist, clearly she had to carry water for their group and organization. But when she said, 'no,' to the idea that the only thing that makes a woman is the idea of a woman, no biology required, suddenly that was interpreted as hatred of transwomen and a threat to their movement. She became persona nongrata, somehow a right-wing bigot and advocate for genocide.

So then the astro turfers started going out with the agritprop social media, water cooler talking about how Rowling was a massive antisemite, how her franchise' game leaned "heavily" into the antisemitic messaging (Jews use a ram horn, goblins use a horn, there was a massive hate crime against Jews on the date of the same for goblins!) and this that and the other thing.

Gullible, emotionally charged fangirls fell overthemselves to overcompensate and make clear, "there's no tolerance for NAZIS!" and that the useful idiots would draw lines in the sand and turn on whomever didn't toe the line to not be a "bad person." You had better not have consumed that media, or else you're a NAZI-ADJACENT person!!!!oneoneone. And they'd cultivated that population to normalize hate-gossip about Bad People, to allow the more belligerent of them to treat them like bigots that threatened others with violence for their race or religion, and if they weren't going to participate in that bullying, at least turn a blind eye to it and go neutral to allow it to happen.

THAT is cancel culture. Not some hash tag.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

No Tagbacksies...

But I want to talk about this part:

Conservatives argue that Section 3 could apply to Vice President Kamala Harris, for example — it was used to block from office even those who donated small sums to individual Confederates. Couldn’t it be used against Harris, they say, because she raised money for those arrested in the unrest after the murder of George Floyd by Minneapolis police in 2020?

I got sucked into info-dumping about needing to look at intent and results along with method yesterday, and this is why that's so freaking important. "No u" is not just for arguing with strangers on the internet, it's for political action.

The above is a threat, an attempt to make Democrats back down from invalidating Trump off the ballot. Specifically Democrats, because if they don't play nice with Republicans, Republicans won't play nice with them. (Ha-ha, sure wish I knew why Dems are always so willing to believe the GOP will play nice!) Will they actually back down because of this? I don't know. Will Republicans actually follow through on it whether they back down or not? I don't know that either!

But I do know that this is only a viable threat because we're looking at method over results and intent. If we oversimplify to the point that we're willing to accept doing violence to resist the government is wrong, no matter who or why or how much, this is a perfectly cromulent argument. The January 6 "rioters" did violence to resist the government and so did the BLM "rioters." Insurrectionists! We'll have to bar everyone associated from office! Wow, but that's a lot of people. Maybe we're all being a little overzealous about this "insurrection" thing, eh?

Okay, say it with me so you don't forget: Violence in support of a wannabe dictator does not equal violence in support of people who keep getting murdered by police. And if you've got room for a little extra credit: Property damage does not equal showing up with a scaffold and demanding to hang the Vice President.

I've mentioned the Machine that Dispenses Justice before.

It's a unicorn because it's not real. We can't build a legislative structure that coughs up justice every time without any human imperfection to guide, interfere with or mitigate it. The complex interplay between method, results and intent is only part of why.

Neoliberals (among others who buy their rhetoric) really want that that Justice Machine. The messiness and conditionality of real justice bothers them. Conservatives DGAF, but they're willing to pretend in order to get Democrats to shoot themselves in the foot. See above. Oh noes! The Justice Machine won't work every time if you add a piece that requires a human being to detect nuance! Violence is always wrong, isn't it? Maybe, if we just agree that the threat of violence was overblown in this case, we can leave this broken gear aside and get back to building the machine for real? (As soon as it's politically expedient, we're going after that Black woman, aren't we? Oh, yeah. Totally.)

While we're gearing up to blame voter apathy, poor white trash and privileged Progressives for whatever the election might bring, the folks in the Room Where It Happens are busy making deals that will bypass the voters altogether. Does the current Machine that Dispenses Justice (justice pending) say a man who wants to end democracy is allowed to run in a (theoretically) free and fair democratic election? I don't know yet, but your input will not be required for this aspect of our "democracy." Don't call us (or do, we have plenty of volunteers and form letters for dealing with you!), we'll call you when it's time to pick a candidate. NO! DON'T VOTE THIRD PARTY! ARE YOU MAD?!?

But with Republicans willing to forgive people who want to hang them for the sake of winning a few more elections, and Democrats elevating compromise above self-preservation, even if Biden wins, you might not get that peaceful transfer of power you want. You might not get that safety you want. We have yet to generate consequences that will take Trump (or another man like him) out of the game, although we swear up and down that the system we've built is meant to do that. The Machine that Dispenses Justice (justice pending) just can't process someone with that level of power and privilege. And that's not justice... or democracy. That's a fucking emergency, we are about to have a fucking election, but I don't hear any candidates willing to admit it yet.

So what are we fighting for?

I know you have an answer. You're a human being with a human brain; you can think when you want to. But, no matter what your answer is, are you sure that's what the folks on your ballot are fighting for too?