#blackwomanhood

[backinfulleffeck]

[infinitelikemathematics]

35 times around the 🌞

[toldbytendo]

"no more microphones: how misogynoir continues to reveal itself — it’s time for podcast licenses." 🙄

Hey lovelies,

I’m tired and I wanna talk about it…🤦🏾‍♀️

Podcast licenses should most definitely be a thing. Honestly, if this is the kind of content that "free speech" allows, maybe we need to rethink it altogether. Imagine the peace we'd have if people (men) needed approval before being handed a mic—because right now, it seems like anyone (men) with an internet connection and a bad opinion gets a platform. If a little censorship could keep this kind of nonsense rubbish out of our ears, it may be worth it!

Watching the recent controversy unfold with James and Fuhad from Shxts and Gigs has actually really irritated and annoyed me. James and Fuhad’s comments about Black women weren’t just offhand or "jokes." They were rooted in a long-standing pattern of dehumanising, belittling, and degrading Black women in ways that are too familiar to ignore. I saw their apology, if you can even call it that, and I was left wondering—do they really believe they did something wrong, or are they just trying to calm the storm? When Andrew joined in, laughing at their apology on his own platform, it only made it worse. This is the circle we keep going around in. Men laughing at other men for even attempting to apologise for their wrongdoing, while we, Black women, are left sitting with the pain of being torn apart by the same people we would naturally expect to come to our defence.

First and foremost, it’s absolutely nobody’s place besides Black women to tell us how we should feel about this controversy. We were the ones disrespected and degraded, and it is entirely our right to process and cope with that in whatever way we see fit. Whether that means speaking out, stepping back, or holding onto our anger for as long as we need, it’s not up to anyone else—especially not Black men or those defending these actions—to dictate how we react. We are the offended party here, and we deserve the space to feel, grieve, and respond on our own terms.

My initial thoughts were simple: we (Black women) need to stop expecting Black men with microphones, who *very clearly* do not like Black women, to run to our defense. I’ve spent too much time hoping for the men in our community to step up and recognise the harm they perpetuate, but the truth is, many of them simply won’t. They don’t have the emotional maturity, nor the desire, or mental capacity to understand the nuances of what it means to be a Black woman in this world.

But my perspective has since shifted. It’s not just about expecting them to be ‘pro-Black’ or ‘pro-Black women’. That’s too idealistic at this point. It’s about speaking up against blatant racism and disrespect, especially when it’s directed at women in their own community. This isn’t about policing preference. I truly support and encourage anyone, Black men included to love who they love, wholeheartedly. It’s literally not about who you’re attracted to. It’s about the line that gets crossed when Black women are made to feel inferior, unworthy, and less-than in the eyes of Black men who have been indoctrinated with the same anti-Blackness that white supremacy relies on. You can quite literally see it playing out in this situation, Andrew (a known misogynist, racist and white suprematist) is quite literally getting exactly what he hoped out of this situation.

We’re not even talking about accountability anymore. At this point, it’s about survival. We truly deserve better, but I personally can no longer waste my energy demanding something that feels like it's constantly being denied. I feel so defeated. It’s such a debilitating and depressing experience opening social media and seeing your community, Black women, being dragged, laughed at, bullied and degraded online. We’re only human. We keep calling out the harmful rhetoric. We keep showing how deeply it affects us. Yet, there’s always a flood of Black men defending their behavior, telling us we’re “too sensitive” or that “it’s never that serious.” They show up to silence us rather than holding their brothers accountable.

Would it have been “not that serious” if they had spent an entire podcast episode dragging Black men instead? Would Andrew have laughed and mocked an apology if the target wasn’t Black women, but someone who looked like him? There’s no question that they would have had something to say. But when it’s about us?

Crickets. 🦗

I don’t have the energy to argue anymore. We’re in 2024. If Black men haven’t unlearned their internalized racism by now, then they never will. Anti-Blackness runs rampant within our own community, and it breaks my heart. I’ve said all I can, and I know many of you feel the same—tired, heartbroken, and utterly defeated.

The truth is, we don’t need validation from these men, and we don’t need to keep begging for respect. We’ve seen time and time again that some of them just aren’t capable of giving it. But what we do need is to recognise that our hurt is valid, and it’s okay to feel disturbed by what’s happening. It’s okay to be bothered when you see these “apologies” that do nothing but laugh in the face of accountability. It’s okay to disengage, to stop pouring your energy into a well that doesn’t run deep enough to support you.

At times like these, the importance of looking to one another, to other Black women, for a sense of community is more crucial than ever. We need to uplift one another because, as painful as it is, controversies like this reveal some dark realities that come with being a Black woman. But it’s just one part of the experience—it doesn’t define us. Unionising and speaking out when disrespect like this occurs is essential, not just to raise awareness but for ourselves—to make it clear that we see what’s happening and we will not forget. But once we’ve spoken up, we also need to remind ourselves to move on from these moments of disrespect.

This ridiculousness will never define Black womanhood, because only we have the power to define who we are. Black womanhood is not aggression, manipulation, or whatever else they try to paint us as. We know better. It’s a multifaceted, beautiful experience that can never be reduced to the tired, harmful stereotypes these men keep pushing. We don’t need to rely on podcasts hosted by racists, misogynists, and anti-Black clowns to tell us who we are. Our sense of self, our strength, and our beauty is something only we can shape, and we do.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about expecting better from them anymore. It’s about demanding respect for ourselves—whether they give it to us or not. And sometimes, that means stepping back to protect your peace.

Just had to get that off my chest, feeling a lot at the moment. 🫠🥴

[ewelethemystic]

I love her so much! She is class, elegance, power, focus and beauty in one package! I hope I grow to emulate my energy the same way!! ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ #blackbeauty #blackculture #blackexcellence #blackgirls #blackgirlsrock #blackhistory #blackisbeautiful #blacklove #blackmen #blackowned #blackownedbusiness #blackpeople #blackpower #blackpride #blackqueen #blackwoman #blackwomanempowerment #blackwomanentrepreneur #blackwomanhood #blackwomanmagic #blackwomanownedbusiness #blackwomans #blackwomantravel #blackwomen #braids #darkskin #melaninmagic #melaninonfleek #melaninpoppin #melaninqueen https://www.instagram.com/p/CUVjbvkJ_lK/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angielifecoach]

Homeschool Mommas and Homemakers remember in trying times where your help comes from. Pslams 121 1-8 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.The LORD watches over you-- the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night The LORD will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life;8the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. #godlywives #godlywife#blackhomeschoolmom #blackwomenhomemake #melaninmoms #christianmom #blackmoms #blackchristianmom #christianhomeschoolmom #homeschoolmom #blackhomeschoolers #melaninatedmoms #christianmoms #blackhomemakers #blackmom #christianwife #blackwomanhood #blackhomeschoolmom #blackwivesmatter #homeschoolmoma #christianhomeschool #homeschoolingmoma #femininehomemaker #wehomeschooltoo #blackhomemaker #blackwives https://www.instagram.com/p/CSZJOmArGsK/?utm_medium=tumblr

[tiphaniedyme]

Reposted from @thelaurenperson Sis. “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. (Proverbs 4:23) Be aware of those who chip away at your confidence. Become sensitive to what specific people do to your spirit. Train yourself to notice when certain people do or say things that make you feel bad. Take note, so that you can later strategize how to combat their actions with God’s Word and the good things He says about you. #blackchristianinfluencers #blackgirlfashion #blacklove #blackwomanhood #knowyourworththenaddtax #christianmarriage #christiandating #christiansingles #godlydating #proverbs31woman #blockgamestrong #datingadvice #christiandatingadvice Follow Me For More Posts: @Tiphanie_Dyme https://www.instagram.com/p/CSIMaASh26Q/?utm_medium=tumblr

[harvardfineartslib]

“This whole notion of the disappeared, I think, is something that runs through my work. I’m very interested in absence and presence in the way that particularly black women’s experience and black women’s contribution to culture are so often erased and marginalized. So that it’s important for me as an individual, and obviously as a black woman artist, to put black women back in the center of the frame—both literally within the photographic image, but also within the cultural institutions where our work operates.” – Maud Sulter.

Women artists have been marginalized in art history and cultural institutions at large. In particular, women artists of color have had a hard time entering into the art world and having their work be recognized and appreciated.

The artists represented in this book, “Black Womanhood: Images, Icons, and Ideologies of the African Body,” interrogate the representation of black female body in their work. The book explores how historical icons inform our perception of black female body, and how contemporary artists respond to the historical view on black female body by examining such themes as beauty, fertility, sexuality, maternity, and women’s power in society.

1) Image of cover.  Work pictured is Maud Sulter's "Terpsichore", 1989

2) 2 page spread. Left shows Kara Walker's artist's book "Freedom: A Fable; A Curious Interpretation of the Wit of a Negress in Troubled Times," 1997. Right: Fazal Sheik, 1993-2002 photograph "Amina Alia Abdi and her son Mohammed, feeding center, Somali refugee camp, Mandera, Kenya."

3) 2 page spread. Left shows Carrie Mae Weems's "Untitled (From Here I Saw What Happened and I Cried)", 1995-96.  Right shows Alison Saar's "Caché", 2006

Black womanhood : images, icons, and ideologies of the African body edited by Barbara Thompson ; with essays by Ifi Amadiume ... [et al.]. Hanover, N.H. : Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College ; Seattle : In association with University of Washington Press, c2008. 374 p. : ill. (some col.) ; 31 cm. English Issued in connection with an exhibition held Mar. 8-Sept. 7, 2008, Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, New Hampshire, and at later dates, Davis Museum, Wellesley College, Wellesley, Massachusetts, and San Diego Museum of Art, San Diego, California. c2008 HOLLIS number: 990114140520203941

[cozygirl-lj]

🧡Motherhood🧡

[therainbowtimes]

#LoveIsLove • • • #queerblackmoms #samesexparents #qpoc #lesbians #blackqueens #beautifulmoms #therainbowtimes #rainbowtimesmagazine #lgbtqmedia #lgbtq🌈 #youmatter #Repost @blacklgbtqmoms ・・・ #BlackLGBTQMoms #BlackWoman #BlackWomanhood #BlackMotherhood #BlackMoms #BlackMomsBlog #BrownGirlBloggers #BlackMomMagic #BlackMomsBreastfeed #BlackFemme #TeamTwoMoms #LGBTFamily #QueerMom #QueerParenting #Coparenting #GirlMom #QWOC (at Providence, Rhode Island) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7FDc_4gCei/?igshid=1vxhzvsth0dcy

[backinfulleffeck]

Angel in a Blue Dress 🧖🏾‍♀️

[mommyingwhileblack-blog]

In an effort to showcase stories of Black Motherhood during these extraordinary times, and combat the "bad Mom " crowd, I asked 30+ Black mothers to describe their time in quarantine in 3-4 word and to be as transparent as possible. The response was amazing! The theme very clear, but I'll let you decide. Every Monday and Wednesday we will feature a new Mom. No long stories, just their picture and honest feelings on Motherhood ❤ Black Motherhood🖤 During Quarantine💚 Enjoy! If you're interested in being a part of this important project, follow the link in my bio! #blackmothehood #blackwomanhood #Blackmotherhoodintimesofquarantine #Blackwomen #blackmothers #blackgirlmagic #blackjoy #beautyineverything #blackblogsmatter https://www.instagram.com/p/CBdM8F9JLho/?igshid=5f83dl3wfldk

[toldbytendo]

Inconsistency is loud.

Let me tell you something about inconsistency: it’s loud. It doesn’t matter how sweet his words are when he’s trying to keep you hooked, or how charming he is when he’s in the mood to entertain you. If his actions don’t match up, the inconsistency screams louder than anything he could ever say.

And babes, it’s confusing as hell. One minute, he’s all in—texting, calling, giving you attention—and the next, he’s distant, nonchalant, acting like you imagined the whole vibe. It’s like you’re stuck in this emotional limbo, trying to figure out if he’s genuinely into you or just enjoying the convenience of having you around.

Let me use my own little situation as a case study. There’s this guy—let’s call him Mr. COD Mobile (you know the one). He’s nice, yeah, but let’s be real, it’s all very surface level. One day, he’s throwing compliments and banter, making me laugh like I’m the main character in his world. And the next? Crickets. Or worse, the barest hint of effort, like a breadcrumb trail I’m supposed to be grateful for.

I won’t lie to you—it’s been messing with my head too. Mr. COD Mobile (we love a nickname) has truly been a case study in confusion. We started talking not long ago, and for a moment, it felt good—like maybe this was something that could actually grow into more. He admitted he liked me, said all the right things, but before I could even settle into that feeling, it all started shifting. And now? It’s like I’m left trying to figure out what I could’ve possibly done to cause this shift when we’ve barely even started.

And that’s what makes situationships like this so debilitating—they start fast and furious, like the beginning of a rom-com, but before you can even catch your breath, you’re left wondering what went wrong. The confusion feels magnified because everything happened so quickly, and the fall-off feels both sudden and humiliating. At what point, in these brief interactions, did it fall apart? Why admit you like me only to act like this?

And let’s not even talk about the shame. Whew, the shame. You start to feel embarrassed—not just by his behaviour but by your own feelings. How could I let myself catch feelings for this? For someone so inconsistent? For someone who couldn’t even bother to nurture what we had started? You begin questioning your judgment, replaying every interaction in your mind, wondering if you somehow misread everything. Spoiler alert: you didn’t.

Because here’s the thing: his failure to pursue you the way you deserve isn’t a reflection of your worth. It’s a reflection of his inability to meet you at your level. It’s not about you being “too much” or “too demanding.” If anything, it’s about him being not enough—and I mean that in every sense of the word.

Men like this are quick to cater to your physical needs, but when it comes to the emotional work? They ghost, breadcrumb, or worse, keep you in this limbo where you’re left questioning everything. They’re good at keeping you on a leash, just enough to keep you interested, but not enough to give you what you deserve. And honestly? That’s manipulative. That’s cruel.

So let me tell you what I’m reminding myself: the right man won’t leave you questioning. He won’t leave you doubting your worth or replaying every text in your head. He’ll show up—not just in the beginning, but consistently, because he knows the only way to truly know if you’re his person is to take the time to understand you, to nurture your emotional needs, to make you feel safe. He won’t punish you with silence. He won’t make you feel like you’re asking for too much. He’ll match your energy, meet you halfway, and then some.

And if he can’t? That’s not your problem to fix. Protect your peace. Block him if you need to. Mourn what could’ve been, but don’t waste another second chasing someone who couldn’t bother to choose you properly.

I’m learning that these situationships, as irritating and exhausting as they are, are also lessons. They teach you about your boundaries, your worth, and what you absolutely will not tolerate. They show you the kind of love and partnership you don’t want, which makes the kind you do want so much clearer.

To my girlies who are in the trenches right now, I see you. I feel you. And I’m here to tell you this: something that is meant for you will never make you question your value. It will never leave you chasing crumbs or doubting yourself. You are worth so much more than inconsistency. Don’t ever let someone make you feel otherwise.

To the girlies who are still here, let’s talk about decentering men. Honestly, I count myself very fortunate because, as much as I am a wholehearted, heart-on-my-sleeve, hand-on-the-Bible lover girl, Mr Cod Mobile came along at the perfect time. Crazy, right? The woman I was a year ago would have been sat in her room, headphones in, sad girl playlist on repeat, dissecting every moment and wondering what she’d done wrong. But the woman I am now? She knows better. She has grown, she has confidence, she has pride—and, most importantly, she respects herself far too much to let a man like that have her bent out of shape.

And the key to that? Decentering men. Men are not, and should not be, the centre of my universe. They’re just not worth it. Yes, I still hope and pray that one day I’ll have my white picket fence, my loving and supportive man who treasures me and lets me love him just as much and just as loudly. But until that day comes, I’ve fully shifted the energy I used to pour into romantic relationships and redirected it into myself. And chai, it has been the most surreal and healing part of my journey so far.

So, if you take nothing else from this—and honestly, it would be rude to ignore my brilliant advice and case study, but let’s say you do—take this: as women, especially in the context of dating, relationships, and marriage, we’re conditioned to believe that self-sacrifice is inherent to love. That it’s nurturing and feminine to put his needs, his goals, his feelings above our own. But let me ask you this—do you honestly think that man would sacrifice even a fraction as much as you’ve sacrificed for him?

I mean any aspect. Would he sacrifice his precious gameplay, his nights with the boys, his “money moves” for you the way you’ve sacrificed your time for him? And babes, let’s not forget—time is the most valuable thing you have. It’s finite. It’s irreplaceable. And it’s time you could be using to build yourself into a version of you that you never thought possible.

So, decentre them. Reclaim your time, your energy, your peace. Stop sacrificing your growth for a man who wouldn’t even set down his controller for you. It’s not worth it. And once you start pouring that love and effort into yourself instead? Whew, you’ll see exactly why it never was.

[iamaizha]

On Wednesday’s we wear pink

[carameledchocolate]

Coping as a black woman in the world we live in.

[biancajfernandez]

AFROFÉMINAS

Afroféminas es una colección que nació sin la intención de ser una misma. La admiración que tengo por las mujeres negras siempre estuvo, pero desde que conocí mas sus historias, la admiración a su belleza y esa esencia única que tienen, creció. El feminismo negro me hizo admirarlas mucho más, por toda la lucha y el poder que conquistaron. Afroféminas es un grupo feminista de mujeres negras, que como todo feminismo; busca abolir las desigualdades que enfrentan las mujeres. La feminista negra nace dentro de la comunidad, nace dentro de las experiencias de la mujer negra y sus opresiones, es para ellas y por ellas. Su lucha busca poder mirarnos de igual a igual entre mujeres