#you all need not more engagement because trust me

[mvrders-are-okay]

the fact that female readers are so normalized that the authors don’t have to put the gender on their tags, only using, “x you,” “x reader,” “x y/n,” …sigh.

I SAY, YOU, FEMALE READER WRITERS, OUGHT TO STOP DOING IT AND PUT THE SUITABLE TAGS INSTEAD. PUT THE READERS’ GENDER SO THAT NO ONE WILL ASSUME.

you all get me?

[ratatatastic]

Vanha Kauppahalli date: en full, a 2 minute 50 second masterpiece...

Primetime Panthers | 11.6.24 (x)

[dykedvonte]

My post about Anya is making like a little ruckus on Twitter and I think it’s crazy how many people like have a problem with it.

Like you don’t have to agree with how I characterize Anya and her actions but it’s more like, why are you focused on only one aspect of her character? Why are you removing nuance from the situation? I don’t see it as giving Curly the benefit of the doubt when it comes to doing better for Anya, but as exploring his character and hers relationship with a the very little authentic facts we get about them. In truth, there’s a lot more I wish Curly did, even if it wasn’t pragmatic but I realize the issue there.

The first psychological horror game in a while that’s real intricate in its storytelling and makes you need to really need to address the morality of intentions and its already getting torn asunder smh 😔

[dandyshucks]

okay its going under a readmore bc its messy and a lot, i'll try to keep it succinct though. CW for some discussion of the ongoing g.enocide and things around that topic

so one of the friends is someone I've really respected and admired because they're a very intelligent well-spoken and kind-hearted individual. i've really been impressed with how they think about things and with their ability to write really fantastic essays (that they often share with this friend group because they're in school and enjoy sharing their work with us because a lot of us are interested in the things they write about). about a year ago, this person went through the process of converting to j.udaism and we were all very excited (and continue to be happy) for them. they've been really happy with the process and the community they've found and it's been really good for them.

however! this person has since stated they are a z.ionist! and they've said that it just means that j.ewish people should live in i.srael, it doesn't mean they support the i.df or what is happening in p.alestine currently. but I'm just... baffled at how they can think that non-p.alestinians occupying the country could EVER be done peacefully. it has ALWAYS been colonization. it was never going to be done in a peaceful manner.

do j.ewish people deserve a safe place to exist? absolutely! but I do not think, ESPECIALLY now, that that safe place can ever be located in p.alestine. I'm not the most educated or well-read individual, I've done a bit of reading over the past few months but my memory is shoddy and I consistently forget almost everything I've read, but as far as I can tell, this has been a non-peaceful occupation (...can occupation ever really be done peacefully in reality? i doubt it.) from the very beginning. p.alestinians were being kicked out of their houses from the start.

and to add onto the messiness of this all, I am the only i.ndigenous person in the entire group. I am the only one coming at this from an i.ndigenous perspective. and because of my perspective, I am ALWAYS going to be on the side of the population that first lived and existed in a place. i am always on the side of l.and back, i am always on the side of the first peoples. anything less would be essentially agreeing with colonization.

so it is just incredibly uncomfortable to be the only i.ndigenous person in this group while the rest of the group has discussed and expressed sympathy with this person for holding self-professed z.ionist beliefs (I do not believe this person has done the right reading to fully understand what they are saying, which is so strange because they are usually so good about educating themself). and I feel like if I try to say anything to argue or simply question this person, I'm going to rock the boat too much and make Everyone uncomfortable and the entire thing will blow up and fall apart around me. so my options seem to be either: a) say something, b) say nothing and stay in the group, or c) say nothing and quietly leave the group. none of which feel like good options!

and it sucks so much because there are people I genuinely do like in this group, and I've liked this one person and respected them since I met them, but they're really .... showing themself to be an unsafe person at the end of the day. I keep feeling like maybe I'm not seeing something or maybe I'm missing something, but I've looked at this from multiple angles and while I do absolutely see where they're coming from and even sympathise with some of it, I disagree with them on a fundamental level.

(also it seems really fucked up for them to be newly converted to j.udaism and endorsing what is essentially colonization and lowkey ignoring the fact that PEOPLE ARE BEING GENOCIDED RIGHT NOW so maybe we should not be discussing "but where are all the j.ewish ppl going to live :(" until the bullets and bombs stop at the very least(????????), while I've been indigenous and dealing with the consequences of attempted (and still ongoing!) genocide and colonization my entire life)

[drcyan]

Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Retain and grow our creator base.

Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. 

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.

Actions & Next Steps

Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.

Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.

Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.

The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.

Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant. 

Actions & Next Steps

Deliver great content each time the app is opened.

Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are. 

Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds. 

Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.

Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.

Actions & Next Steps

Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.

Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs. 

Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.

Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread. 

Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads. 

Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. 

Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.

Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.

The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.

It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.

Actions & Next Steps

Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it. 

Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.

Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.

Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.

Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.

Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.  

Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.  

Actions & Next Steps

Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.

Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.  

Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages. 

Test what the right daily push notification limit is. 

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.

The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.

Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.

Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users. 

Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.

Conclusion

Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.

[trans-axolotl]

one of the reasons it's really hard for a lot of intersex people when intersex topics are on the news cycle is because the public's reaction reveals how little anyone knows or cares about intersex people, including people who call themselves our allies. almost every time intersex topics are trending, the discourse surrounding them is filled with misinformation. people who only learned today what the word intersex means jump into conversations and act like an authority. endosex/dyadic/perisex people get tripped up over things that are basically intersex 101, with tons of endosex people incorrectly arguing about the definition of intersex, who "counts," DSD terminology, and so much more. i've seen multiple endosex people say today that they've been "warning intersex people" and that we should have known that transphobia would catch up with us eventually, which is an absolutely absurd thing to say given the fact that consistently over the past ten years, it has often been intersex people sounding the alarm on sex-testing policies and also the fact that many, many intersex people are also trans, and already are facing the impacts of transphobia. there is an absolute failure from the general public to take intersex identity seriously; people seem not even able to fathom that intersex people have a community, history, and our own political resources. instead, endosex people somehow seem to think they're helping by bringing up half-remembered information from their high school biology class which usually isn't even relevant at all.

and this frustrates me so fucking much. not because i want to deny the impacts of transphobic oppression--i'm a trans intersex person, trust me when i say i am intimately aware of transphobia. this frustrates me because there is no way we can achieve collective liberation if our "allies" fail to even engage with basic intersex topics and are seemingly unaware of the many forms of intersex oppression that we are already facing every fucking day. if you are not aware of compulsory dyadism, if you are not aware of interphobia, if you are not aware of the many different ways that intersex people are directly and often violently targeted--how the fuck do you think we're going to dismantle all of these systems of oppression?

if you were truly an intersex ally, you would already KNOW that this is not new, and would not be surprised--interphobia in sports has been going on for decades. you would know that we do have a community, an identity, a history--you would have already read/listened/watched to intersex resources that give you the background information you need for allyship. you would know that although there is a really distinct lack of resources and political education, that intersex people ARE developing a political understanding of ourselves and our oppression--Cripping Intersex by Celeste Orr and their framework of compulsory dyadism is one example of how we're theorizing our oppression. It's absolutely fucking wild to me how few people I've seen actually use words like "interphobia" "intersexism" "compulsory dyadism" or "intersex oppression"--endosex people are seemingly incapable of recognizing that there is already an entrenched system of oppression towards intersex people that violently reshapes our bodies, restricts our autonomy, and attempts to eradicate intersex through a variety of medical and legal means.

you cannot treat intersex people like an afterthought. not just because we're meaningful parts of your community and deserving of solidarity, but also because intersex oppression impacts everyone!!! especially trans community--trans people will not be free until intersex people are free, so much of transphobia is shaped by compulsory dyadism, the mythical sex binary, all these ideas of enforced "biological sex" that are just as fake as the gender binary.

it makes me absolutely fucking livid every time this shit happens because it becomes so abundantly clear to me how little the average endosex person knows about intersex issues and also how little the average endosex person cares about changing that. i don't know what to say to get you to care, to get you to change that, but we fucking need it to happen and i, personally, am tired of constantly being grateful when i meet an endosex person who knows the bare minimum. i think we have a right to expect better and to demand that if you're going to call yourself our ally, you actually fucking listen to us when we tell you what that means.

okay for endosex people to reblog.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Controversial opinion among Dune book fans maybe, but I loved the changes they made to Chani's character. Making her a fedaykin who is already an experienced fighter before Paul arrives was a brilliant choice. Dune Part Two is a war movie, and this puts her at the center of the action, side by side with Paul, and gives her a much more active role than she has in the book.

We got a hint of where things were going in the beginning of Dune Part One. The first thing we ever know about movie Chani is that she's a fighter. She serves as a voice for the Fremen, telling us the story of their struggle from her point of view. I wrote here about the difference this change makes compared to other adaptations of Dune, what a perspective shift it is to have the world of Arrakis introduced not by an outsider, describing it as a dangerous but valuable colonial prize, but by one of its native inhabitants, who tells us before all else that it's beautiful, her home that she's fighting to liberate. I am so, so glad that the second movie followed up on this characterization.

I never found Chani and Paul's love story in the book particularly convincing, because why would this woman, who already has a prominent and respected place in Fremen society, even give the time of day to her deposed would-be colonizer, let alone fall in love and have children with him? Without a compelling reason for Chani to love Paul, she ends up feeling like a prize to be won, and "indigenous culture personified as a woman to be wooed (or conquered) by the colonizing man" is a trope we've seen and don't need to repeat.

But as soon as you tell me it's a barricade romance I get it. Cool cool cool, I know exactly what this relationship is now and it makes sense. Movie Chani doesn't respect or even particularly like Paul when she first meets him, and she doesn't think he's the fulfillment of any prophecy. She comes to respect him, and eventually love him, through his actions. He's brave--sometimes recklessly so. He fights well. He's willing to stick his neck out on the front lines with the other Fremen fighters. He can (after a little help) hack surviving in the harsh desert environment. He's not too proud to learn from others. He seems to genuinely want to be her equal in a common political struggle. All these qualities make sense as things she values.

Fighting side by side as equals is just about the only way I can see movie Chani falling for Paul. And it fits perfectly with the film's pattern of reversals that Paul's capacity for violence would initially be one of the things Chani likes about him, only for her to be repelled later when she sees what he becomes.

And as for Paul, well, he's had people deferring to him his entire life. Someone who doesn't take any shit from him is probably refreshing. He seems to like people (Duncan, Gurney) who challenge him and engage in a little friendly teasing--and aren't afraid to go a few rounds in the sparring ring.

It's easy to speedrun a romance when you're spending all your time together in mortal danger fighting for a shared political cause. Especially if you then start winning in a war your people have been fighting for decades. Are you kidding me? That is the perfect environment for intense battle camaraderie to turn into romantic love, and lust.

It makes sense that this version of Chani never believes Paul is any kind of messiah. Of course a character like movie Chani wouldn't believe in or trust some outside savior to liberate them. She's been working to liberate her own people for years. The more Paul invokes the messianic myth, the more he starts sounding once again like someone who plans to rule over them, and the more uncomfortable Chani becomes. In this way she becomes a foil to Jessica, the two of them representing the choices Paul is pulled between. It's a great way of externalizing the political and philosophical debates that often happen within characters' heads in the book.

And of course this version of Chani would leave Paul at the end of the film. It's not just the personal, emotional betrayal--although that stings. What common cause does she have with someone who just declared himself emperor and is sending her own people off in a war of conquest against others? Given the important role she plays in Dune Messiah, I am super curious to see how they get her back into the story, but girl was so valid for being willing to just gtfo. Given that she has the last shot of the whole movie, I'm sure she'll be back somehow, and I can't wait to see what they do with her character in any future installments.

[niningtori]

an iron man | oneshot

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: beomgyu has only ever known how to live function as a rental sexbot. he fucks whoever and whatever comes his way with a forced smile plastered on his face. that is, until you, a self-proclaimed trainwreck, come along.

genre: android!au, sexbot!au, angst, romance, fluff (more than i ever thought i could ever write i fear...), skippable smut at the very end (will be marked)

warnings: very brief and vague mentions of beomgyu being forced to engage in sexual acts he does not want with previous clients, skippable smut at the very end (will be marked)

smut warnings: unprotected sex, creampie, cockwarming, praise, dacryphilia, sub!gyu

word count: 14.7k (trust i will not be writing this much again if this flops BWNWJSJEJDK)

notes: terrified to post this one because this is probably my favorite thing i've ever written and if it gets a bad reaction i might die :,) also very unsure if this is the best time to post it since it's during kinktober so i'm not sure if the demand is there but i love this work so so much i pray you all like it. if you don't read anything else from me, i hope that you read this bc i rlly care ab it :,) please don't be mean i beg

beomgyu doesn’t know how long he’s been living like this. living is an odd term, too, and it’s not just because “life” is ill-defined for an android, but because to call what he experiences a life feels like a bastardization of the term. his power is turned on at some point, usually late at night, he fucks or gets fucked by somebody he probably doesn’t know, then he does the same shit all over again. so yes, he may be “alive”, but he wouldn't dare to call what he experiences living. living is too precious of a term to be used so cheaply on a sex android who’s made available for rent for the highest bidder of the night.

he’s seen how people live through his scattered vignettes of human life. he only gets them when he’s powered on, but he soaks them up with pleasure because they’re the only thing he’s ever known. some people do it wildly, living unattached to everyone and everything. their lives are not completely dissimilar to his, in a way, except they have a choice in the matter. they have time to find themselves, what their likes and dislikes are, and they get to connect with people in a way he will never have the power to. others, though, live the kind of life he really wants. they live by loving and being loved, knowing and being known. he wonders what it’d be like to know somebody outside of whatever secret deviant sexual pleasures they have. he wonders what it’s like to be known, too, but he guesses you would need to have something for someone to care enough to know about in the first place. he has no such thing.

it’s a night like any other when he’s powered on by a total stranger. he briefly takes in his surroundings and notices that it’s a really nice place, but you wouldn’t be the first rich person to rent him — not by a longshot. next, he takes you in. now, there’s no reason for you to dress up, really. you have no need to tempt him, as he will be able to feign attraction no matter what you look like, but he still finds it odd that you seem to have forgone any effort to appeal to him, if only because most people’s fantasies require them to look and feel sexy; but you don’t look sexy at all. you look like you’ve just gotten home from a long day at work, and honestly? you kind of smell like it, too.

“do you think you could do the dishes for me? i’m exhausted,” you ask with a perfectly-timed yawn. what… ?

he short-circuits for a moment as he tries to think of an appropriate response. he’s never had anyone try to get him to do chores for them, but maybe this is some sort of weird roleplay? maybe you want him to act as a house husband for you before doing the deed, which isn’t necessarily a problem since he’s well-versed in acting, but there’s just one issue.

“i don’t know how,” he tells you honestly.

“you don’t know how to do dishes?” you ask curiously, 

“it’s not in my programming,” he replies. if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he’s embarrassed because of the way he hesitates and looks away from you when he says it. he can’t possibly feel that, though, so it must just be your imagination.

“oh… that’s alright. okay, do you know how to clean a room? mine’s kind of dirty,” you try. 

“n-no,” he says, and he wishes the earth would just swallow him whole. he’s never failed at living up to expectations, and never so badly, at that. just what kind of fetish is this? 

“that’s okay,” you sigh, and he may not fully understand it, but he can sense your disappointment. “well, what can you do?” and the question is not asked maliciously, but with what seems to be genuine wonder. ah. he knows how to answer this one. slowly, he walks up to you and loosens your hair. you look up at him in shock, but he just cups your face, swiping his thumb across your lower lip. 

“i can do whatever you want me to, baby,” he whispers alluringly. “just tell me how you like it.” you’re so stunned at his switch in demeanor that you forget how to speak for a moment, but you quickly recollect yourself and pry his hands off of you.

“i don’t want you to do anything,” you insist. “i’m just tired. if you can’t help me clean, that’s alright. you can watch something if you’re bored. i think that’s it. well, goodnight.” beomgyu is malfunctioning at the moment. he thinks the gears in his head might be sparking while he tries to understand this new development. you don’t give him time to process it, though. you just slam your bedroom door shut behind you. he thinks he hears you lock it, too.

genuinely at a loss at the thought that he has nothing and no one to do, he sits himself on your couch. he tries not to make himself too at home at first, just barely making a dent on it and scooting to the very edge of the cushion as to not appear to be too relaxed. what if this is some sort of test? what if you’re actually going to come out soon so you two can fuck? until then, what should he do next? thoughts like this plague him until he accepts the fact that you are actually sleeping. your obnoxiously loud snoring is a dead giveaway, and he finally, finally feels brave enough to fiddle with your remote control. 

he scrolls for something to watch. movies and shows have been on as background noise during sex before, so he’s somewhat familiar with them, but he’s never gotten the opportunity to pick for himself or actually pay attention to what's happening on screen. he settles on a romantic movie about a robot who joins human society. the robot falls in love with a human girl, but in the end, the robot has to leave the girl because the town won’t accept him, even after using him. she marries a human man and has children, and eventually grandchildren, too. she still loves the robot even though he’s gone, which he thinks is supposed to make him feel sorry for her, but all he can feel is pity for the robot, who spends the rest of his life alone. 

it’s enough to make him cry, which he shouldn’t be able to do in a non-sexual setting, but he does it, anyway. it’s just so unfair to him. the girl is able to live a normal life while the robot is doomed to be alone forever. why? because he was born different? it’s not his fault that he was invented, but he spends the rest of his time on earth paying for the crime of existing in a world not built for him. the more beomgyu thinks about it, the more wronged he feels. he’s outright sobbing by the time you plop down on the couch beside him. he jumps up and straightens his posture while trying in vain to regain his composure.

“yeah, this movie makes me cry, too,” you quietly remark. he’s silent, not because he didn’t hear what you said, but because he genuinely doesn’t know how to act after being caught red handed.

“can i ask you something?” you ask in lieu of his lack of a response.

“yes,” he feebly answers.

“why are you crying?” you question with a tilt of your head, but something in him tells him that you already know.

“because the movie made me sad,” he admits after a pause.

“are androids supposed to feel things like that?” 

“... no,” he replies after a pause. 

“then why can you?” 

“i… i don't know. just please don’t say anything to my owners,” he pleads. he knows that if the company that owns him were to find out about this, he’d be scrapped in a heartbeat. or worse, they’d analyze him like a labrat to try to find the anomaly within him. his “life” as a sexbot will be over, and he’d really rather be a box of scraps than live as a case study in a lab somewhere. 

“it’s okay,” you tell him with a reassuring smile as you watch him trying not to spiral. “i won’t tell them. it’ll be our secret.” beomgyu has never had a secret to share with anyone before, so he feels an overwhelming amount of excitement at the idea that he will finally have one. his chest feels warm at the thought.

“thank you,” he says with a grateful smile.

“no problem,” you reply with a yawn. “i’m tired, so i’m heading back to bed. i just wanted to get some water. goodnight, for real this time.” 

“goodnight,” he murmurs softly. you return his words with a sleepy smile and go back into your room. he finds that he’s smiling even when you leave. 

he spends the night consuming as much media as he conceivably can before he has to leave. usually, he'd be powered off after he’s done being used, so he greedily savors every moment he can. who knows if he'll ever get this chance again. when you wake up, you're surprised to see that he's exactly where you left him, still watching the screen intently.

“good morning,” you say while stretching your arms. 

“good morning,” he replies. 

“are you ready to be returned?” you ask. 

“... yes,” he lies. 

“okay. i think somebody will be here to pick you up in an hour or so. you hungry?” 

“i don't really eat,” he bashfully answers. for some reason, he's embarrassed at the fact that you're treating him like a human while he's unable to fully act like one.

“oh. i guess that makes sense,” you nod. 

things are quiet until he’s picked up, but it’s not an awkward silence. you sit next to him on the couch as you wolf down some breakfast and let him watch whatever he pleases. when he eventually hears knocking at your door, he feels an incomprehensible sense of dread.

“i think that's them,” you remark, breaking the silence. 

“y-yeah,” he replies. 

“well, it was nice to meet you,” you say, reaching out your hand for him. he’s unsure what to do with it. not missing a beat, you gently grab his hand and shake it. he's stunned at the physical contact, and he's still reeling when you let the man from the rental company in. you have a brief conversation with him before he walks towards beomgyu.

“goodbye,” you tell the android with a smile and a little wave. 

“... good—” and the man switches him off.

-

the next time beomgyu is powered on, he’s in your house again. relief floods him when he realizes it. you don’t seem as exhausted as the last time he saw you. when that was, he has no idea, but if he had to guess, he’d say it was just last night because of the fact that he’s so popular he’s rented almost every day.

“hey,” you greet him with a smile. he’s still feeling relieved before he realizes that tonight might be the night where you ask him to have sex with you. maybe you were just tired last night and had no desire to fuck, but he can tell that you’re feeling more energetic tonight. 

“i didn’t catch your name,” you add. 

“... beomgyu. i’m part of the choi line, but i’m a custom model, so they gave me a name,” he tentatively replies.

“nice,” you nod, and you briefly introduce yourself before asking if he wants to watch a movie. 

“watch… a movie?” is this some sort of euphemism for fucking? it wouldn’t be the first time he’s heard of something like this. as mentioned before, some people like movies as background noise. 

“yeah, you can pick,” you say, casually plopping down on the couch and patting the cushion next to you. he hesitantly takes your cue, and he’s mentally preparing himself for what comes next before you take a blanket and cocoon yourself in it so tightly, it’d be impossible for him to touch you.

“what’s wrong?” you ask, and he jolts a bit when he realizes that he’s been staring in disbelief. “oh, are you cold? do you want a blanket, too?” 

“‘m fine,” he replies.

“are you sure? the clothes they make you wear look a little thin,” you observe with your nose wrinkled, and he feels impossibly small under your surveying eye. “here, i’ll get you some sweats. i think soobin left some the last time he was here.” 

“who’s soobin?” he asks a little too quickly. so quickly, in fact, he doesn’t even have time to process why he even asked.

“my friend. stay here, i’ll grab them for you.” 

when you return, you have a long pair of sweatpants in hand and a big t-shirt. 

“you can change in the bathroom. it’s down the hallway and to the left, okay?” he nods in response.

he strips his clothes off as best as he can, and it feels like he’s shedding a second skin. when he’s finished undressing, he pulls on the clothes you gave him and stares in the mirror. it’s in his programming to always be mindful of how he looks, but he feels especially self-conscious now that he’s wearing a normal outfit. he fixes up his hair and clears his throat before exiting your (messy) bathroom and making his way back into your living room. he finds you fiddling with your phone before you look up at him.

“took you long enough,” you tease, and he blushes, which stuns you. just how human is this guy?

“s-sorry, i —” 

“hey, i’m just kidding. you’re fine. you look pretty good in those clothes — soobin would be jealous,” you chuckle. his ears perk up at the mention of soobin again. is he your boyfriend? he must be. why else would he have clothes at your house? is that why you don't want to sleep with beomgyu? because you have someone already? if that's the case, why rent him at all? but he is not brave enough to ask these questions, so he settles for a soft “thank you” and returns to his spot on the couch.

you toss him the remote and he catches it with ease before unsurely flipping through your streaming services. he finds something that piques his interest and turns to you with an uncertain look before you nod encouragingly. he selects it and lets it play. he doesn’t mean to, but he finds himself sinking further and further into the cushions as it progresses. 

it’s a sweet movie — a romantic comedy about an amnesic woman whose memory is wiped clean every morning, but a man falls in love with her, anyway. she never remembers him, so he has to make her fall in love with him in a new way every day. he finds himself smiling throughout it, but a particularly funny scene has him actually laughing for the first time. it’s a squeaky sort of thing, and he has never laughed before, so he’s somewhat surprised as it leaves his throat. he looks to you in trepidation, but you just smile warmly and respond with a soft chuckle of your own. he finds that he looks to you every time a new development occurs, and you always answer encouragingly. 

the end of the film surprises him. it’s bittersweet in that she never does get her memory back, but the man makes a video recounting their entire love story for her to watch every time she wakes up. it ends with them living happily together in spite of everything, and it’s enough to make him sob. he turns to you and sees that you’re teary-eyed as well, but you seem to be enjoying his reaction so much that there’s still a grin on your face. after the film ends, you can tell that he has something on his mind.

“what’s wrong? didn’t you like it?” you gently ask.

“i did. i just don’t understand,” he replies timidly.

“don’t understand what?” 

“why he would do all of that for her, i guess,” he says. 

“because he loves her. when you love somebody, you’d do anything to be with them. you always find a way,” you tell him, and the sentiment seems to strike a chord within him.

“even if they’re that different?”

“of course.”

-

beomgyu spends the following nights with this same routine. he’s switched on, sees you standing in front of him with a smile, gets comfortable, and watches as much media as he possibly can while you two chatter away about every scene. he learns much more from it than he ever did from experience with his previous renters, and he finds himself becoming more and more emotional by the day. you never try to question him or press him to explain any of his feelings, and it just makes him feel even more comfortable with you. 

one day, he even feels comfortable enough to ask you a question. the question. 

“can i ask you something?” 

“of course! what is it?” you reply in earnest. beomgyu has never directly inquired about you.

“why do you rent me? i mean, i know we watch stuff together now, but why rent me in the first place?” and even when he feels exponentially more at ease with you than he ever has in any other context, he’s still nervous when he asks it. 

“oh, my friend did it as a joke, i guess,” you shrug. “he thought i needed to get laid or something, but i’m not into stuff like that, so i just thought i’d ask you to help me clean. obviously, that’s what i actually need,” you giggle. what he feels at your words can only be described as disappointment. “stuff like that”? so you’re not into sleeping with sexbots? is it because you find them disgusting? is it because you find him disgusting? he’s not sure what he expected, but this wasn’t it.

“oh. so why don’t you buy a cleaning bot?” he asks softly, and while you are usually pretty perceptive of his emotions, you don’t register the fact that he’s at a loss right now.

“i dunno. my parents were always against that sort of thing. they thought it was wrong, i guess, so i didn’t grow up with them like everyone else did. i didn’t really have an opinion on them until i met you,” you tell him while grinning and lightly nudging him with your elbow. he tries his best to smile because, in theory, your words are really sweet. you see him as more than just another android, so why does he feel like that’s not enough? 

the fragile connection you two have made seems even more fragile now. at least, it does to him. you only met each other because of a joke your friend just so happened to make, not because of fate or the divine intervention that he always sees in the movies. maybe in another world, your friend rented a different sexbot. maybe you’d even treat them the same way you treat him. the thought alone makes something ugly burn in his chest. 

still, you are oblivious to the internal war raging within beomgyu. 

“hey, i’ve got an idea,” you tell him, and he perks up a bit. “have you ever listened to music?” 

“not really,” he replies solemnly. people have played it in the background of their sexual escapades, but he hasn’t really gotten the chance to listen the same way humans do. you finally register his crestfallen appearance, but you chalk it up to him feeling like he’s missing out. 

“why don’t we listen to some? i can play a bunch of different genres so you can find what you like,” you suggest, and he agrees to it. truthfully, he doesn’t fully understand how music can be better than movies and shows, but he is curious to find out what makes it so special. 

and special, it is. he doesn’t like every song you play, he realizes, but that’s only natural given how different they are from each other. he finds himself being drawn to the more emotional and moody ones, but he can’t help but enjoy the way you quietly sing and nod along to the more upbeat tunes. 

as you continue to sit together, you begin to fiddle with your hair. you’re scoffing and loosening it for the umpteenth time before you’re about to give up, but beomgyu stops you.

“let me do it,” he says.

“do you know how?” 

“i think i can. i’ve been watching you,” he says simply.

“... okay.” 

you turn your back to him to give him access to your hair and he scoots closer to you. closer than you’ve ever been. his touch on your head is careful as he gently gathers your hair and begins to braid it. you’re not sure how much time passes because he’s actually quite slow, but it’s relaxing all the same. you find yourself softly humming to the tune of the song playing. the lyrics are a little dark, but you follow along in earnest, and beomgyu thinks he finally understands why people like music so much. for moments like this. he tries to soak up every detail he can, from the way the light hits your frame to the melody you hum, and he wishes this moment could last forever.

but you only have so much hair, so the moment does have to end, eventually. he ties up your hair and you pull out your phone camera to admire his handiwork. admittedly, it’s a lot better than anything you could’ve done. it seems that he’s a fast learner.

“this looks perfect! thanks, beoms,” you say warmly. he’s stunned for a second at the nickname.

“beoms?” 

“yeah, like beomgyu. beoms,” you say with a casual shrug, and something in his chest blossoms. “i give all of my friends nicknames.” and something in his chest explodes at the title of “friend”. 

“you do?” he asks excitedly.

“yeah. like, i call soobin ‘soobinie’ or ‘soobie’, sometimes,” you giggle, and the bloom of hope in his chest dies with it. 

“are you two close?” he asks, even though he knows the answer will probably hurt him.

“very. he’s my best friend,” you answer fondly. oh. you’re beomgyu’s best friend — you’re beomgyu’s only friend, and tentatively at that. the idea that the deep connection he feels with you is even deeper with someone else, at least in your eyes, makes him feel sick. do you let soobin play with your hair? do you hum along to songs you’ve shown him while he does it? do you smile at him after he’s finished and compliment him on his skills? probably, probably, probably. the ugly feeling that was previously completely foreign to him now takes its usual place in his chest, and it makes his stomach hurt so much that if he could vomit, his metaphorical dinner would be all over the floor.

“oh,” is all he can say. 

-

days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months, but every time beomgyu awakens, he finds you smiling up at him. this can’t be good for your bank account — he’s quite expensive to rent, after all — but he’s far too afraid to actually bring it up. what if you realize just how much money you’re sinking into him and want to stop renting him? what will he do if you don’t want him anymore? he feels an incomparable sense of dread at the thought. 

he prepares to sit on the couch and watch something, listen to music, or even play a video game with you. you two have gotten into them recently, and he’s discovered that he very much enjoys playing with you, even when you’re yelling at him and demanding that he stop letting you win. he can’t help but grin when he thinks about it. you start playing a song, and you do, indeed, invite him to sit on the couch, but you don’t sit down next to him and start babbling away about your day like you usually would. 

“do you think you could do me a favor?” you ask. 

“what, do you want me to wash your dishes?” he jokes, and you share a laugh before you say your next words, but all laughter and joy is profusely sucked out of him when you say them.

“no, smartass, but can you braid my hair for me? i’m going over to soobin’s tonight, and i want it out of my way.” 

“soobin’s?”

“yeah, it’s been a while since i’ve stayed the night, and he said we’re way past due for it,” you tell him, and the world as beomgyu knows it comes crashing down around him. 

“you’re staying the night with him?” 

“mhm. he’s right, it’s been too long; but don’t worry, i bought a pass so you can play video games online. there’s even a headset so you can talk to people, if you want. maybe you’ll even make some friends,” you say while playfully waggling your eyebrows. beomgyu’s silence is pensive, to say the very least, and you worry that he’s apprehensive of making a friend that isn't you. 

“seriously, you might like it. it’ll be good for you to meet more people, honestly. i’m sure it’s driving you crazy to only have me to talk to,” you jokingly add, but to beomgyu, it’s the worst joke he’s ever heard. no, it does not drive him crazy to only talk to you every day. in fact, even though he’s not conscious during the time you spend away from each other, he thinks, deep down, that he still somehow misses you when you’re apart. and no, he does not think he needs to have anyone but you. you are more than enough for him, so how could you ever think he needs more? again, he is taunted by that same strange and implacable feeling he’s been having ever since he met you, yet he can’t quite put his finger on it, even when he nods and tells you that he’ll try making new friends. 

but as he brushes out your hair and you sing along to the words:

"i’m glad i didn’t die before i met you

but now i don’t care

i could go anywhere with you

and i’d probably be happy"

he finally understands what that feeling is. that warm, all-consuming feeling. that feeling of comfort, safety, and unconditional understanding. that feeling of infinite curiosity about the other person. that feeling of wanting to known and be known in a way so profound it physically aches. 

yes, as he gathers your hair and ever-so-gently twists it in his hands in preparation for you staying the night with a man you clearly prefer over him, the feeling becomes clear as day. love. what he feels for you is love — an emotion he should never be able to even fathom, yet he does. 

and it makes him loathe himself to a degree he never thought he was capable of.

he’s so put off by this sentiment, he almost can’t finish the braid because his hands are shaking so much, but somehow, he finishes, anyway. 

“are you done?” you ask as you fiddle with your hair and look back at him.

“mhm,” he replies. 

“yay! thank you!” you say giddily. 

“you’re welcome,” he mumbles. you’re not stupid, so you notice that something is off about him, but you just assume it’s because he’s nervous about being left alone to make new friends. you feel guilty in a certain sense, but it’ll be good for him to branch out and meet new people, so you tuck the feeling away as best as you can before packing your nightly essentials and getting ready to leave.

“i’ll be back tomorrow morning,” you tell him, and he only nods with his lips pursed, which makes your heart feel sour.

“try not to miss me too much,” you tease, but it doesn’t seem to cheer him up in the slightest. 

“have fun,” he replies weakly, and your previously sour heart now kind of aches, but you have to do this for him. you can't always be beside him for everything, right? besides, it's only for the night.

you open the door to leave, but before you go, you turn back to him and he senses hesitation in you. before he can question it, you’re opening your arms, and his eyes widen when he realizes you’re inviting him in for a hug. you almost regret doing it as soon as you open them for fear of making him uncomfortable, but he embraces you before you have time to process such feelings. on beomgyu’s end, he has always been wary of touch for obvious reasons, but he gravitates towards your open arms like he was meant to be in them.

he rests his chin on the top of your head for a moment and you spend an unknown length of time just standing with your arms wrapped around each other. 

“i’ll miss you,” you admit, and before you can smack yourself for being so dramatic and sentimental over what will ultimately only be one night, you can swear you feel his grip tightening even more around you.

eventually, you break away and look up at him with a smile. you ruffle his hair and promise to see him later, and he answers you with a nod. then, you're leaving and locking the door behind you.

immediately, beomgyu feels a sense of loss he’s never felt before. after all, to experience loss, you must have something worth losing in the first place, and he has never had anything like that. at least, not until you. so he stands at the door for who knows how long, just like a puppy waiting for his owner to get home. 

-

soobin can sense you’re out of it before you even finish crossing through his doorway, and it puts a halt to your typically overdramatic greeting. 

“what’s the matter? are you feeling okay?” he questions concernedly as he pulls you in for a hug. you nod before you break apart from him and walk through the threshold. 

“y-yeah. it’s just, i don’t know, i guess i just feel bad about leaving beomgyu all by himself,” you tell him as you plop down on his couch. 

“the android you’ve been renting?” he asks incredulously. “i’ve been meaning to ask you about that, actually. why’re you renting it so much? i barely even see you anymore. is the sex that good?” 

“you know i don’t use androids like that,” you snap in annoyance, partially because he’s calling beomgyu “it”.

“i know, which is why i’m so confused. why rent it in the first place if you’re not getting anything out of it?” 

you struggle to answer his question. you promised beomgyu you’d keep his secret, but you trust soobin, and you know he won’t judge him, or worse, report him. besides, it’ll be good to have an unbiased third party weigh in on the situation. with this in mind, you tell him about beomgyu, skipping over some of the more personal details. he’s in disbelief at first and actually thinks you’re just fucking with him, but as you tell him more and more about the time you’ve spent together, his smile falls and his face turns serious. 

“so that’s why i feel so guilty about leaving him alone,” you finish with a deep sigh. he’s silent for a few moments before collecting his thoughts.

“god, i can’t believe this is actually happening,” he whispers.

“i know. it’s insane, but it’s true. he’s just so… human. you should've seen the way he looked at me when i told him i was leaving. i don’t think i’ve ever seen anyone look so sad before.” 

“well, you’re right about him needing to make friends,” he says with a nod, and it validates all of your misgivings about leaving him alone. “but don’t you think you should, i don’t know, think about what all of this means?” 

“what do you mean?” you ask, and in that moment, he knows you have no idea about the way beomgyu probably feels about you. he’s not 100% confident in his deductions, but the way you describe how beomgyu acts around you pretty much tells him everything he needs to know. 

“i mean, you basically have a completely sentient creature who relies on you for everything. if he’s as human as you say he is, then he can probably feel everything that we do. right now, i’d guess that he feels like you’re all he knows.” and the sneaking sense of guilt that was previously threatening to creep up on you is now completely overwhelming. you’re all he knows. and you left him all alone to fend for himself and make his own friends. yes, he needs to learn how to make connections, but how could you expect him to know how to do that? it took weeks for him to finally seem comfortable around you, so how could he possibly know how to make them on his own? moreover, even though it's nothing to you, you're his entire world. he must feel like you abandoned him.

“i’ve gotta go,” you mumble.

“what?” he asks. 

“i–i’ve gotta go home,” you repeat as you hurriedly stand up and hug him goodbye. 

“wait! i think you should —” 

“love you, bye!” you shout as you book it out of the doorway. 

-

when you return home, you open the door to see beomgyu listlessly staring at the television screen. when he hears you, he turns to look at you with watery eyes. he looks so lost in this moment, and all of your suspicions are confirmed.

“beoms, i am so sorry,” you tell him as you rush over and throw your arms around him. 

“for what?” he asks with a gulp as he stays in your embrace, shakily wrapping his arms around your waist.

“i’m sorry for leaving you all by yourself. i thought it was just for one night, so it’d be alright, but you don’t have anyone but me right now; and i realize that it’s unfair for me to expect you to meet other people all on your own when you’ve never had to do it before. if you want friends, i’ll help you, okay? i’ll be there with you as you do it,” you tell him, and you feel his body trembling. 

“i-i’m sorry. i know it’s not a big deal, but when you’re not with me, i feel so scared. i… i don’t know how to do anything by myself. i’m s-sorry i need you so much,” he whispers, and your heart breaks. 

“don’t be sorry,” you say gently. “how about this: i’ll join you online and we can talk to people together. then, when you’re ready, you can start hanging out with my friends in person, too, okay? we can keep going until you don’t need me anymore.” beomgyu outwardly agrees, which seems to put you at ease, but there’s just one issue: he’ll always need you.

-

gaming online is actually really fun, but making friends is hard for someone like beomgyu. he’s quiet and a little awkward at first, but after a few nights and with your help, he finally warms up to the people he games with. he gets so comfortable, in fact, that he’s even able to shit talk with them a little. 

“fuckkk, that’s so unfair!” his new friend, kai, wails over the headset. 

“it’s not unfair, you just suck,” beomgyu chuckles, and kai whines again. you laugh at their interaction before kai continues.

“how are you so fucking good at this game? you’ve only been playing for a few nights, and you’re already better than me!” he pouts. 

“i’m just gifted,” beomgyu boasts.

“very true,” you add, and he beams, but kai’s next words throw him off-kilter.

“whatever. stop asking your girlfriend to argue with me — you two make me sick,” he jokes with his signature maniacal laugh, but the two of you are too stunned to laugh along. you look at each other in sheer embarrassment, and you can see beomgyu’s ears turning bright pink beneath his blond hair. you’re not sure why you feel so mortified, but you do. this is beomgyu, for god’s sake. there’s no earthly way you could ever see him in anything other than a purely platonic way, so why does your heart feel uneasy at the notion? while you’re still too stunned to speak, beomgyu tries to pipe up and respond.

“sh-she’s — we’re not, uh —” 

“damn it!” kai yells as his character dies yet again, and any momentum beomgyu previously had to clear up the misunderstanding is killed stone dead in its tracks. 

he turns to look at you unsurely, but the awkward moment seems to have passed for you as you laugh at kai’s character’s death. if only he could be as unfazed.

after kai goes offline, you two decide to quit gaming for the night. you turn to beomgyu nervously, and he immediately knows that you’re going to say something serious. he hopes beyond hope that it’s not about what kai said.

“can i ask you something?” and his heart sinks. oh god, you probably caught onto his feelings. he’s not sure he has the confidence to tell the truth, but how could he lie to you?

“y-yes,” he replies, voice a bit unsteady.

“okay, you can say no if you want, but soobin invited us to a get together he’s having pretty soon. it’s not anything too crazy, so there’ll only be a few of us. i think it’ll be a good start for you. maybe you’ll even make some new friends, you know?” he’s silent at your words just out of sheer shock. he’d definitely missed the mark when guessing your intentions. 

“it’s okay to say no,” you hurriedly add, “but my friends are really nice, and i’d be with you the entire time. even if you don’t talk to anybody, you can talk to me.”

“okay,” he agrees before he can even really think about it. he guesses he’s just relieved that you still don’t know about his feelings, but part of him aches even still. 

“really?” you ask incredulously. “oh my god! i have to tell soobin — he’ll be so excited!” you babble, and his lips curl upwards at how happy you are. he wishes he could always make you happy like this, and it seems that he’d agree to absolutely anything if you were the one asking.

-

work has been especially taxing today, which is nothing new, but you have this insatiable suspicion that something feels… off as you finish up for the day. as you’re about to head out for the night, you wonder what beomgyu will want to do once you get home. maybe he’ll want to play games with kai, or maybe he’ll want to watch a movie with you. maybe he’ll let you cuddle up to him for warmth, which he’s been very willing to do, lately. the unspoken rule that you two will never touch has become blurry for some reason, but you’re pretty touchy with all of your friends, so it only feels like a matter of course to you. 

you’re thinking about all of the potential ways tonight could play out when it hits you: you didn’t reserve beomgyu. you spit out a curse and hurriedly take out your phone to book him, but it’s too late. he’s already assigned to someone for the night. fuck.

when you get home, you’re anxious beyond belief. you haven’t spent a night without beomgyu in months, but more importantly, he hasn’t spent a night without you. you try not to think about how scared he will be when he’s powered on in a stranger’s home. you hope he’s able to just switch back to his initial programming, but somehow, you just know it won’t be that easy. you feel sick with worry when you think about how someone so human will have to involuntarily turn his feelings off and pretend to enjoy something he’s being forced to do — with no compensation, no less. he must think you abandoned him. he must think you don’t care about him. how could you forget to reserve him when he needs you so much? fuck how busy you were with work, his wellbeing should have been your first priority.

so you sit and watch the hours tick by. you try to relax. you try to tell yourself it’s only for one night, and he’s been doing it for years, but something just feels wrong, wrong, wrong. you’re about to try to force yourself to go to sleep so the night ends more quickly when you hear a rapid knocking on your door. it’s strange for someone to call on you so late, indeed, but when you look through your peephole, you see none other than the very boy you’ve been worrying about. 

“beomgyu?” you say incredulously when you swing open the door. immediately, he embraces you, and you feel hot tears streaming down your neck as he nuzzles his face into it. you hold him as best as you can as you rub circles into his back and try to shush his cries.

“it’s okay, i’m here,” you tell him, and he whines. you try to break away to get a good look at him, but he just pulls you in even closer, as if you’re his only lifeline in this world, and in a way, you are.

after his breathing slows and his sobs die out, he reluctantly parts from you, so you hold his hand and lead him to your couch. his eyes are swollen and bloodshot while his nose is a bright pink, but he never once takes his eyes off of you for fear of letting you out of his sight. in his mind, you can’t leave as long as he can see you.

“are you alright?” you tentatively ask, hand still holding his and soothingly caressing it in an attempt to calm him down. he goes to nod before stopping himself and shaking his head in the negative. your eyes soften even more at the action.

“do you want to talk about what happened?” you try, and he nods before clearing his throat.

“i, um, i woke up and i was at this woman’s house. she… she wanted me to get undressed, but i didn’t want to, so she started doing it for me.” you wince at his words, but he’s not finished yet. 

“she kept touching me, and it was so disgusting i just — i just couldn't stand it, so i ran away and came here. i don’t mean to make your life harder, and i won’t ask for you to stay the night with me anymore, but if you could just let me stay here, i promise i’ll learn how to clean or do anything you want. please, just don’t make me —” 

“beomgyu, stop it,” you say softly, but firmly. “you are not making my life harder. you can stay here as much as you want and do whatever you want while you’re here. i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean for this to happen. i was just so busy with work, and by the time i realized it, somebody had already booked you. i promise you that it’ll never happen again, okay? so you don't have to be afraid. i’m not leaving you, and i won’t let anyone hurt you, either.” 

you don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone look so relieved before. it looks as though you just saved his life, and to beomgyu, you essentially did. he holds your hand even tighter, as if you’re the only thing keeping him from falling off the face of this planet. 

“wait here, i’ll get you some clothes,” you say gently, but as you go to leave, he holds you even tighter. your eyebrow quirks in a silent question at his actions, and he looks sheepish for a moment before saying his next words.

“c-can we just stay like this for a bit? just for a little while? i’m still scared,” he mumbles, and your heart melts.

“of course. come here,” you beckon, and he falls into your arms and rests his head on your shoulder, breathing your scent in as he tries to imprint this moment into his hardware. you stay like that for a while before you finally convince him to change out of his uncomfortable clothes. he reluctantly lets you go, and his eyes follow you everywhere you walk. 

that night, you stay up later than usual to spend more time with him. he stays glued to your side and ensures that he’s always touching you in some way, which is endearing in a way you can’t seem to put into words. when you’re about to head to bed for the night, you swear you hear him whimper, but he lets you go, anyway. as you lay your head down and get comfortable under the covers, you hear a timid knocking on your door. you call him in, and his gaze shyly flickers between you and the floor. 

“c-can i stay with you tonight? i won’t bother you, i swear. it’s just — i just still feel weird. y-you can say no! i just thought that —”

“come here,” you softly interrupt, and he doesn’t hesitate to listen. he closes the door behind him and shuffles towards you, stopping uncertainly at the edge of the bed in a silent plea for permission to enter it. you feel a weird, warm feeling in your chest when he does it. you scoot over and pat the open space next to you before he gathers enough courage to slide in. you cover him with your blanket, and he stiffly accepts it. you giggle at his awkwardness and cuddle up to him, placing your arms around his waist before thinking better of it. how could you just invade his personal space when he’s clearly traumatized? you go to remove your arms and scoot away before he firmly locks you in place.

“it’s okay,” he whispers, settling himself into your embrace and mindlessly toying with the ends of your hair.

“are you sure?” you ask.

“i’m sure.”

it isn't long before beomgyu hears your breathing slow down, and eventually he hears you begin to snore. he smiles at the sound. he can't really sleep, but he's perfectly content with watching you rest. he continues to play with your hair, and you nuzzle into his touch every so often. he doesn’t want to repeat the events leading up to tonight, but he would do it all over again — any number of times — with a smile on his face if it meant he got to be with you like this again. 

-

the next morning, beomgyu waits for the usual delivery guy from the company to pick him up, but it’s currently way past the usual pickup time. he’s most certainly not complaining, but you don’t seem even remotely fazed by the matter. however, while you’re casually flipping through your streaming catalog literal hours after he’d already be gone, he can’t stop himself from asking:

“um, d-do you know when i’m being picked up?” you pause, and he worries that he may have said the wrong thing before you turn to him.

“do you want to be picked up?” you ask solemnly.

“n-no! of course not. it’s just, you know, i’d usually be gone by now, so i —” 

“do you want to stay here? with me, i mean,” you interrupt.

“i… i do,” he replies with a gulp. usually, that’d be all you get from him, but it feels like the perfect opportunity to be honest about his feelings. “i always want to stay with you, but i know i’m expensive, and i don’t want to be a bother.” he looks ashamed as he admits it, but if he had the courage to look in your eyes, he’d note the fondness that lies within them.

“i told you that you’re not a bother to me. i also told you that you could stay here for as long as you want, remember?” and he does, so he nods. 

“alright. i meant it when i said it last night, and i mean it now. if you want to be here, you can stay for as long as you’d like. you don't have to worry about your owners anymore, i promise.” and he thinks he’s never seen you as serious as you are now. he wonders what you mean before it dawns on him.

“you… did you buy me?” he asks in disbelief.

“y-yeah. i’m sorry, it sounds so gross when i hear it out loud, but that doesn’t mean that i own you or anything. what i really wanted to buy was your freedom, so you can stay as long as you want, but that also means that you can leave whenever you want, too.”

“i’m so sorry,” he says in a hushed, hurried tone. “i know i'm expensive. i’m really sorry.”

“money is not an object to me,” you dismiss in faux arrogance with a wave of your hand in hopes that it’ll lighten the mood, but beomgyu can’t stop the tears from falling over his waterlines, and you’re afraid your attempt to help him only made him feel more indebted to you. all worry is promptly washed away when you feel him pull you into his arms. 

“thank you,” he just barely breathes out. “i don’t know how i’ll ever pay you back, but i’ll try, i swear.”

“you don’t have to do anything for me, beoms. i should’ve done it a lot sooner, but i’m just a little slow, i guess,” you muse, and he chuckles softly into your neck.

-

sleeping with beomgyu should’ve only happened once, but every night when you say you’re heading to bed, he looks at you with puppy eyes and you find yourself inviting him to come along. each time, he looks so excited that if he had a tail, it would most certainly be wagging. he obediently follows you to your room and settles into the empty space next to you before holding you in his arms as you drift off. he’s even taken to humming the tunes of songs he likes when you struggle to settle down, and his baritone voice lulls you to sleep like a charm every time. he spends his time by just looking at you and trying to reconcile with his new reality. this is real. he gets to spend however many nights he wants next to you, as per your own words. even if you didn’t mean them, he plans to take them seriously. he is perfectly content with spending the rest of his life just sleeping with you, looking at you, being with you. 

-

soobin’s get together is tonight, and you look different than usual. your typical look is very casual, which makes sense because you’re only ever at home when you’re with him, but you are now primped and ready to be seen, and it makes him anxious because you look even more lovable. he knows these people are your friends, so they must’ve seen you dressed up before, but that only makes him all the more uneasy; they know a side of you he is only now seeing, and it makes that same old ugly feeling he's grown so accustomed to sprout in his chest. 

when you arrive at soobin’s place, the first thing you do when soobin swings open the door is jump in his arms like you didn’t just see him a week ago. he spins you around with a dimpled grin that’s so sincere, beomgyu feels emotionally decimated by it. you both giggle as you break apart, and the jealousy beomgyu feels brewing within feels unpacifiable. 

“is this beomgyu?” soobin asks, grin still very much apparent.

“yes! you’re gonna love him,” you answer giddily. 

“it’s nice to meet you,” soobin says warmly while stretching out his hand, which beomgyu awkwardly shakes while he tries to force his lips to curl upwards in what he prays is a believable smile.

“nice to meet you,” he mumbles.

“everyone’s already here, but you’re late as always,” soobin playfully chastises, and you pout in response.

everyone greets you when you walk in, mostly by hugging you and lightheartedly scolding you for not coming out anymore. they’re very clearly bantering with you, but each reproach feels like a knife to beomgyu’s heart. he’s the reason you haven’t seen them in so long. 

clueless to it all, you introduce him as your friend to everyone, which only makes him feel worse, somehow. he is just one friend out of many, meanwhile you’re his entire world. you’re far too caught up in the joy of seeing some of your favorite people after so long to notice his dismay, however.

you lead him to soobin’s couch to have a seat with you and one of your friends, taehyun maybe, offers him a drink, to which he awkwardly declines. you quickly follow up with something to the effect of “he isn’t much of a drinker,” and beomgyu nods in affirmation. you try your best to include beomgyu in conversation, but they’re all talking about people and places he doesn't know. all he knows is you, and the world you two built together seems smaller and smaller with every new topic of conversation. 

he notices that soobin seems to be eyeing him somewhat strangely, though he tries his best to play it off. he could just attribute it to surface level curiosity, but his intuition tells him it’s much deeper than that. is soobin sizing up his competition? maybe so, but there’s not much to see. beomgyu is handsome, and he knows it, but soobin knows a side of you beomgyu has only ever heard stories about. you’ve told him about your friends and the goings on between you and your coworkers, but it pales in comparison to actually meeting them. he makes an internal note to ask even more questions than he usually does the next time you’re telling him about your day. until then, he sits as close to you as humanly possible and clings onto your arm, which is so second nature to you, you don't even notice that he’s doing it. 

soobin, who is usually not the inquisitive type, can’t help but question the dynamic between you and beomgyu. at first, the lingering glances and intimate gestures were innocuous enough to be written off as mere friendliness, but when you whisper something in beomgyu’s ear and he flushes a bright pink, soobin knows he can’t ignore it any longer. he especially can’t ignore it when you turn away from beomgyu and he raises a hand to the ear you just whispered into as if he’s reliving the moment. well, time to test his theory. 

soobin slides into the open cushion next to you and begins excitedly chattering about how pretty you look tonight, and he even takes your braided hair into his hands and twirls it between his fingers.

“your hair looks pretty,” he muses.

“beomgyu did it, actually,” you grin, and soobin glances over to said boy, who is currently glaring daggers at him. the look in beomgyu’s eyes is so intense, he almost wants to back off, but he has to get to the bottom of this. 

“did he? you know, it’s been a while since you stayed over. wanna have a sleepover tonight? you have some clothes here from last time, and we can cuddle, i know you like that,” he says as innocently as he possibly can. 

before you can even reply, beomgyu is slamming his hands on the coffee table. you turn to face him in surprise, and the look on his face is the angriest you’ve ever seen him. his eyes are dark and his nostrils are flared as he heavily breathes. he’s never been angry at all in front of you, actually, so to say you’re taken aback is the understatement of the century. 

“beoms? what’s wrong?” you ask concernedly, completely turning away from soobin. your voice is enough to somewhat placate him, but before he can fully calm down, soobin is saying his next words.

“i’m sure he’s fine. beomgyu, you can find your way home tonight on your own, can’t you?” beomgyu is positively seething at this. before you can question him again, he’s gripping your hand so tightly it’s like it’s the only thing keeping him from drowning, so you excuse the both of you and drag him to the bathroom for some privacy.

“are you alright?” you ask, frantically scanning his figure for some sort of sign of pain or discomfort. 

“i-i’m fine, i just, uh, i don’t feel good,” he says flatly. 

“what’s wrong? is it too much? do we need to go home?” he’s so flustered, he barely registers that you’re calling your house “home”, but he still notices it in spite of everything, and it’s like a balm on his aching heart. 

“y-yeah, can we go home? please?” he pleads, and you hurriedly nod. 

“of course, just let me say bye to everyone before we leave, okay?” and he wants to say no, but he’s as weak as ever in front of you, so he relents.

that doesn’t stop him from gripping your hand, though, as you say goodbye to everyone. you go to give soobin your usual hug, but beomgyu pulls you back to him even more tightly. you write it off as him not feeling well and just wanting to leave as soon as possible, to which you oblige, and before you know it, you two are scurrying out of soobin’s place like there’s something chasing you.

as you’re driving home, you feel your phone buzz in your pocket, but it isn’t until you’re walking through your doorway that you check it. 

soobie: we need to talk. call me as soon as you get home

you’re worried beyond belief at his serious tone, so you tell beomgyu that you’ve got to make a call before ducking into your bedroom. you don’t shut the door behind you, because why would you? 

you quickly call soobin and the line connects after just one ring.

“what’s wrong?” you ask anxiously, and soobin just sighs, which makes you all the more anxious.

“we have to talk about beomgyu.” 

“beomgyu? what about him? is something wrong?” you question.

“yeah, i mean, maybe. this might sound crazy, but i think — i know — he likes you.” you’re stunned silly for just a moment before bursting into laughter.

“likes me? what the hell are you talking about?” you dismiss, and you sense his agitation even through the phone.

“i’m serious. i had a feeling before, but tonight just confirmed it. he likes you.” you’re silent for a moment, just trying to process his words, but once your mind somewhat clears, you can’t help but deny, deny, deny.

“you’re wrong. it’s not like that at all. i’m just the first person who’s ever treated him nicely, and i —” 

“you’re not listening,” he cuts in irritatedly. “he looked like he wanted to skin me alive tonight. how else do you explain that?” 

“soobie,” you sigh. “you’ve got it all wrong. maybe you’re right and maybe he was feeling insecure, but that’s probably because i’m the only person he knows. he most likely just felt like you were stealing my attention away.” 

“you’re always so dense about these things, you know?” he groans. “okay, look, i’m not sure how they came about, but i do know that he has feelings for you. maybe it started out as dependence, i’m not sure, but it’s definitely much more than that now.” 

“that’s impossible,” you snort, actually feeling a bit impatient now. how could he possibly think that your relationship with beomgyu was anything other than platonic? 

“why? because he’s a robot?” oh, that shuts you up. “just think about it. if he were a human, would you still be saying the same thing? like i said before, if he’s as human as you say he is, he can feel the same way we do, and he’s definitely capable of feeling love, too.” you are, again, stunned into silence. suddenly, as if there was a fog that covered your brain before, things that you never really considered become clear to you. the soft touches, the gentleness. sleeping in the same bed and waiting for you to get home. wanting you — needing you — around all the time. the way he plays with your hair. the way he’s so interested in everything you have to say. the clinginess, the dependence. it all makes so much more sense to you. 

“i —” you begin, but you just so happen to glance up and see beomgyu right outside of your doorway… looking absolutely devastated. 

“i’ve gotta go,” you tell soobin as you hang up, not even bothering to say your usual goodbye. 

“beoms, did you hear us?” you ask tentatively, and he flinches a little bit before looking down at the floor and nodding.

you’re unsure of how to navigate this situation from here, but while you’re still trying to figure it out, beomgyu speaks.

“i-i’m so sorry,” he says hurriedly. “i understand if you don’t want me anymore.” 

“w-what? no, i —” 

“i’m just really sorry,” he says, looking as ashamed as a person ever could. “i know it’s wrong, i know it’s disgusting, but i —” 

“beomgyu.” 

“but i can’t help it. i wish i could, but i just can’t; and i understand if you want to return me or whatever, but if you could just —” 

“beomgyu, stop it,”  you interrupt firmly, no room for argument. he stares at you with defeated eyes, and you feel your heart break in two. “i am not disgusted, and i don’t want to return you.” his eyebrows furrow as if he doesn't quite understand, so you continue. 

“your feelings are not disgusting to me, don’t ever say that again, okay? please? it makes me sad,” you plead, and he hesitantly nods. “i think it’s normal, actually. you don’t really know anybody else other than me, so of course you’re confused.” 

“confused?” he asks incredulously, eyes snapping up to meet yours.

“confused,” you nod. “it'll change once you meet more people, i swear.” you try to smile reassuringly, but suddenly, you see tears welling up in beomgyu’s eyes. 

“beoms?” you carefully try.

“i don't need to meet more people. i just need you,” he chokes out. “don't tell me i'm confused because i'm not. i-i'd rather you just say you don't want to be with me than tell me that.” your heart clenches at his words, but he continues. 

“i just want to be with you, no one else,” he tells you desperately. “i can understand if you don't feel the same way, but i can't stand to hear you say i don’t love you, because i do. i really, really do.” and as if you're dissociating, your mind is bombarded by times where he's shown you this exact sentiment. again, you go back to every intimate moment you two have ever shared. it was easy to just chalk it up to his lack of experience, but when he's telling you that's not the case so earnestly, is it truly possible to still believe it’s nothing? after a while, you decide that it most certainly is not. 

the question is: do you feel the same way? you try to put a name to the feelings you have when you’re with him. the trust you have, the understanding. the desire to share everything you know and like with him, no matter how mundane it may seem to others; and consequently, the endearment towards him when you see how eager he is to listen. more than that, the intimacy between you two. how you like waking up to him smiling down at you, and how when something happens, he’s the first one you want to tell, good or bad. how when you listen to new music, you feel excited at the prospect of sharing it with him. 

you realize you want to know more about him, the happy things and even the sad things. why he is the way that he is, why he thinks the way he thinks. the peace you feel when he’s running his fingers through your hair and holding you close when you watch the same film for the dozenth time. you try to picture a world where somebody else rented him. a world in which somebody else got to see him as soon as they wake up or as soon as they get home from a particularly grueling day at work, and you finally understand that you wouldn’t like that at all. but why? you’ve only ever thought of him as a friend, right? so why does it matter to you? 

your eyes focus on beomgyu again, and you notice how utterly defeated he looks. his heart is on full display for you — and you alone — as tears stream freely down his pretty, doll-like face. are these tears just for you? you think so. is it safe to trust that these feelings he has for you are real? you’re not sure, but you want to. still, there’s something stopping you.

“i think… i think i feel the same way,” you admit, and his previously downtrodden appearance immediately lights up with hope. “but we shouldn’t.” and the words are like lead in your mouth. 

“why not?” he asks, clearly distressed. you just gave him an inch, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t take a mile. he never in a million years would have thought that you’d ever reciprocate his feelings, so he can’t just let them go so easily.

“i just… it’s just not something that i can —” 

“is it because i’m an android?” he questions, voice teeming with self-loathing. 

“n-no! i mean, we’re just so different,” you tell him, trying to skirt around the topic as best as you possibly can, but he won’t have it.

“whatever it is, i’ll change it. please? i can do anything,” he pleads. 

“it’s not like that. i want to, but we can't. i-i'll get older. i won't look the same — i won't be the same,” and it’s embarrassing as hell to admit it out loud, but you mean it. beomgyu’s urgent gaze softens, and he inches closer to you before he’s standing before you. he reaches out to gently cup your face and tenderly pushes your hair behind your ears.

“and what about me?” 

“what about you?” you scoff, but you don't pull away from his touch, though your eyes do dart away. “you’ll still be you, and i’ll be old and —” 

“what about when my parts start creaking? what about when i don’t remember things like i’m supposed to? you’ll still love me then, right?” he asks, but he already knows, and your eyes snap back to his.

“th-that’s different. you can get repairs. i can’t —” 

“then i won’t. you’ll get old and gray and i’ll get rundown and out-of-date. i don’t care what happens, as long as i’m with you.” you’re silent in the wake of his heavy words, so he quickly continues.

“you told me that when you love somebody, you’d do anything to be with them. you said you always find a way, and i want to find a way to be with you.” your heart simultaneously warms and aches at this sentiment. 

you consider what it would be like to be with him. things would be difficult, yes, but not impossible. maybe you’ll come to regret it someday, but you don’t want to think about that right now. you feel like the luckiest girl in the world when you think of the fact that somebody so beautiful, inside and out, wants to be with you. you don't think you’ve done anything particularly special for him, but he still wants and accepts you for everything that you are and ever will be.

“okay,” you say shakily, and you finally recognize that his hands are still very much cupping your face, fingers lovingly rubbing against your cheeks. he smiles in pure relief at your answer, but he makes no move to break away his hold on you. 

you notice how his gaze flicks between your eyes and your lips, and you decide you'll have mercy on him as you lean up to him and press a chaste kiss on his pouty lips before parting. he’s visibly red at the action, and you grin at how flustered he looks. on beomgyu’s end, he feels another bloom of excitement and swell of hope threatening to overcome him. when he looks at the playfulness in your eyes, he smiles even wider. 

“i love you,” he whispers affectionately.

you pause before you tell him:

“i love you, too, beoms.”

-

that night, beomgyu is even clingier than usual. he sticks like gum to your side. when you head to sleep, he eagerly nestles in your bed and holds his arms wide open. you follow his lead and settle into his warm embrace. he sings you one of his favorite songs you’ve ever shown him. the last words you hear before you sink into sleep are:

“to die by your side

is such a heavenly way to die

to die by your side, well

the pleasure, the privilege is mine”

notes pt. 2: sfw work ends here!

you and beomgyu have been “together” for a few weeks now, so the relationship is still very new. surprisingly or not, things seem more or less the same. you guess you never realized just how intimate you two have always been until you put a label on things. the only tangible differences are that instead of just a mere hug when he greets you, he plants kisses all over your face before finding his ways to your lips. and when you’re watching movies or even just talking, he’ll steal a kiss or two. and when you head to bed, you know you can expect him to catch your lips like a man starved before you sleep. things get heated, sometimes, but they never lead to anything besides labored breaths and promises to calm himself down. you take his hesitancy as him wanting to take it slow and treasure your first time together, and you realize he still may be traumatized from the years he spent as a sexbot. 

you have apologized to him for telling soobin his secret. you let him know your reasoning for telling him, and he accepted your apology quite graciously. honestly? he was never mad, and he tells you that very clearly, but you still feel somewhat guilty even when he says he understands. your guilt is only absolved when he says he’s thankful you told soobin because things may have never changed without his wise input. he says that he’s grateful to soobin for being a voice of reason in the face of your emotional density. you blushed when he told you this, and apologized for being so slow on the uptake, but he just assured you that he wouldn’t have you any other way, which made you love him even more, somehow. 

you’re now about to go to soobin’s again for another get together with your friends. second time’s the charm, you cheekily told him when you brought it up, and he blushed in response. when you two walk through the doorway, everyone cheers. you greet everyone as usual, and beomgyu tries his best to keep his searing jealousy at bay, but his anxiety starts clawing at him as soobin seats himself next to you and asks you how you are. 

you giggle and tell him you’re doing well, and he responds by updating you on his tumultuous work life. beomgyu immediately wonders why you haven’t told soobin about your new relationship. are you embarrassed to be seen with him? it’s not like he doesn’t understand, what with him technically being made out of wires and machinery. of course a human like you wouldn’t want to be seen with a metal man like him. you could have the entire world in your hands if you wanted, so what’s the point of playing pretend with a fake like him? maybe, if he were you, he’d be embarrassed, too. he likes to think that maybe you aren’t like that, but at the end of the day, how could you not be? he’s nothing more than a robot masquerading as the real thing. 

his anxiety worsens the more in depth your conversation with soobin gets. you try to include him by briefly giving him context about the stories soobin tells, but he can’t stop himself from worrying. again, he feels like soobin is stealing you away from him, and his mood sours. 

your other friends try to talk to him, too, but he’s very obviously in a bad mood as he watches you two continue to laugh together. when you finally do turn to beomgyu, you immediately notice how awful he looks. 

“beoms? are you alright?” you ask gingerly, but beomgyu’s discomfort is not at all placated even at the term of endearment. 

“‘m fine,” he mumbles, and you’re genuinely in shock at his change of attitude. soobin looks very concerned, but he excuses himself to get a drink so you two can work it out, though he has an inkling of an idea of what’s triggering beomgyu. 

“what’s wrong with you?” you ask concernedly, but he shakes his head sulkily.

“do you wanna go home?” you offer, and he immediately nods. you look torn for a second, but when you see how sad he looks, you know you can’t deny him.

you say your goodbyes to your friends and apologize for leaving early, but everyone says they understand. soobin makes you promise to host the next get together, though, to which you happily agree. 

the ride home is mostly silent, but you look over to beomgyu in concern every so often. you grab his hand and squeeze it in a way you hope is comforting, but he doesn’t look any better at all.

when you enter your house, you immediately head to your bedroom, and he follows you in silence. you sit on the bed and pat the space next to you. 

“beoms, what’s the matter?” you ask pleadingly as you grab his hands, and his heart, which was previously aching, is (a little) soothed by your concern. 

“i-it’s nothing,” he answers, but you can tell that he’s lying because of the way he refuses to make eye contact with you. 

“baby, i can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s wrong,” you say. you’re right, and he knows you’re right, but you’re already doing him the favor of a lifetime just by deigning to be with him. how could he dare to ask for more? he’s ashamed at the thought, but you look so sincere, and he knows in his metaphorical heart that he needs to be able to communicate with you if you two are going to have any shot at a lasting relationship.

“i-i’m just j-jealous,” he sputters. 

“oh, baby, why?” you ask. 

“because i’m not like you,” he admits after a pause. “i already feel like i’m not good enough for you, so seeing you with someone who actually is makes me feel awful.”

“who? soobin?” and you’re absolutely petrified when he sheepishly nods. 

“honey, it’s not like that at all,” you tell him. “we’re just friends, i promise.” 

“but it would be so much easier to be with him. you wouldn’t have to be ashamed about telling everyone you’re with an android,” he argues. 

“beomgyu, i am not ashamed of you. i just wasn’t sure if you felt comfortable with me telling everyone. if you want me to tell them, i’ll happily do it. you’re so good, how could i ever be embarrassed of you?” his eyes soften.

“do you mean it?” he asks, and you nod. 

“do i not show it enough? how much i love you, i mean.” he furiously shakes his head no, but you know it’s a lie. beomgyu himself will admit that he needs more validation than most people, and it’s going to take him a while to ever get over it because of his own issues. that doesn’t mean you can’t try to help him, though, so you brush his cheek with your hands before wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. 

“does this make you feel better?” you ask after you pull away, but he still looks somewhat depressed, so you pull him in again before pressing your lips against his. this time, you swipe your tongue on his pout, which makes him gasp. you tease your tongue against his and electricity thrums between you two when you do it. he reciprocates your enthusiasm immediately, and before long, you’re both sucking and teasing each other until you’re out of breath.

you pull away again and rest your forehead against his. 

“better?” you question.

“a little,” he says. “m-maybe a little more?” you grin at his coquettishness, and you go in for another kiss. your tongues tangle, but you don’t stop there. your mouth travels, peppering kisses down his jaw to his sensitive neck. he shivers at the contact when you swipe your tongue over his unmarred skin before lightly sucking. he lets out a broken moan when you do it, and it reverberates throughout your entire body and straight to your core. 

“better?” you ask again.

“m-more,” he pants. 

“anything you want, baby,” you tease before your lips hungrily capture his. one of your hands snakes its way up his shirt, and he gasps when you roll his hardened nipple between your fingers. beomgyu is more sensitive than most people, as is the nature of his model, so every little touch drives him crazy. 

you seem to have noticed this, so when your other hand palms his hardened length through his sweatpants and he almost screams, you have to bite back a giggle. 

“d-don’t tease,” he begs, and you’d do anything for beomgyu, really, but not this time.

you palm him even more harshly and his breath catches in his throat. 

“more?” you ask, and he fervently nods. you oblige, sliding your hand under his waistband and teasing the sensitive skin around his length. your fingers brush against it every so often, and he involuntarily bucks every time you do. 

“c-can i touch you?” he practically implores.

“of course, my love,” you tell him as you remove your devious hands and pull your top off before unclipping your bra. 

his mouth waters when he sees you, and you can see him gulp almost comically as his big hands meet your breasts. he copies your movement from earlier, rolling your sensitive buds between his very clearly experienced fingers. you let out a contented sigh at the action, but you won’t let this be all about you, so your hand sneaks it way back down his pants. this time, you grab his girthy cock and give it a harsh tug. his actions stutter, and you smirk devilishly at how fucked out he is when the fun part hasn’t even begun. 

you pull at his waistband, and he eagerly tugs his pants and boxers off as soon you do it. he even goes as far as to tear his t-shirt off over his head before he pulls your half-naked body flush against his, falling onto the bed as he desperately kisses you for everything that you’re worth. eventually, he situates himself on top of you, rutting his thick, long cock onto your still clothed thigh. you didn’t really get a chance to get a good look at him before, but you’re able to look down at him now, and you realize his dick is gorgeous. just like every other part of him. it stands tall, blushing profusely at the tip and practically weeping precum. it’s a bit hooked, too, no doubt to elicit the most pleasure out of his clients. your pussy is drenched just thinking about how it’ll feel when it’s inside of you.

he almost rips your bottoms off of you and his mouth waters even more at the sight of your pussy, all slick and glistening in anticipation for what’s to come. 

“so gorgeous,” he whispers as he prepares to lay himself between your legs, but you hook them around his waist before he can do so. tonight will be all about him, you’ve decided, so you tug him closer and put one of his pretty nipples in your mouth, swirling your tongue on it and occasionally nipping at the sensitive skin. your other hand continues to tweak the other one before you alternate between the two, causing him to let out a low, guttural groan. 

eventually, he goes in for another kiss, all tongue and teeth and saliva, and you take one of your hands and harshly clench around the base of his throbbing cock. 

“is this what you needed, beoms?” you tease, and he nods pathetically as you tug again, harder this time, and let your hands stroke all the way up to his reddened tip. your thumb glides over his slit, and he’s seeing stars. 

“i don’t know why you’re so jealous of someone else, my love. you’re so perfect,” you praise, and his ears get even redder, somehow, in spite of the situation you’re both in.

“i — nghh — i don’t like when you’re with him,” he pants, in spite of everything you're doing to him. “only want you with me.”

“oh, baby, you have me,” you coo. “always.” and with that, you begin to feverishly jerk him off with one hand while the other returns to his nipple. his hips buck with every movement, and his eyes are screwed shut. you can tell he’s about to come before you completely take your hands off of him. 

“n-no! w-why?” he asks with a crack in his voice, watery eyes shooting open at the sudden action.

“don’t you wanna come in my pussy, instead? it’s warmer and wetter than my hand,” you ask with faux innocence with a tilt of your head, and his previously aggrieved demeanor morphs back into pure lust. 

“that’s what i thought,” you giggle as you grab his length and rub it against your slickness. he groans at the feeling, but you don’t immediately take him in, opting to instead roll your hips up, just barely letting his flared head catch against your entrance. 

“baby, please,” he whines, and with a smirk, you finally wrap your legs around his waist and line him up with your entrance. you just barely take the tip in, easing it into your pussy, before you force him out again. he gasps raggedly at how tight you are, and he’s wound up so much, he feels like he’s on the brink of exploding. he’s about to take matters into his own hands before you guide him back inside of you, and he feels your walls struggling to accommodate him. 

“s-so tight! h-how are you so tight?” he hisses, eyes reddened and face strained, but you’re far too busy with the euphoric feeling of him finally inside of you to reply. he eases in inch after throbbing inch, and it is a snug fit, indeed. he almost wonders if he’ll even fit, but though the stretch burns you, the pleasure is too great to ignore. finally, your walls slightly relax, and he’s able to completely sheath himself in you. you both moan as his tip pulsates against your cervix, and he considerately gives you time to adjust, walls contracting wildly around him, before he attempts to pull out and really begin. 

“stop,” you command before he can do so, and his eyes fill with worry at your words. 

“w-what’s wrong?” he stutters. 

“oh, nothing,” you say between pants. “i just want to see how long you can last.” 

“w-what do you —”

and you interrupt him with a kiss. he ravenously reciprocates it, and he can’t help but unconsciously thrust his hips, tapping deliciously on the deepest parts of you, but you prevent him from ever fully pulling out. you tangle one of your hands through his hair and grip it — not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make him groan into your mouth. 

“c-can i move?” he pleads, but you shake your head no. 

“why?” he whimpers, but you just smirk as you kiss him again and bite his bottom lip. 

he doesn’t know how long you two stay like that, but it’s far too long for his liking. he feels his dick swell, and you still refuse to let him move, but you teasingly scrape your fingers against his balls and it’s all he can do not to come. 

“p-please let me move, it hurts,” he cries, tears now flowing from his eyes. for once, sex is all about beomgyu and what feels good to him. he could cry just from the sentiment alone, but his current tears are the direct result of how you’re teasing him.

“and where does it hurt, baby? use your words, i know you can.” 

“h-hurts, my c-cock hurts,” he sputters out. 

“and would pounding my pussy make you feel better?” you goad, and he whines even louder at the imagery. 

“y-yes,” he sobs, and you smile as you say your next words.

“such a good boy. you can move.” and that’s all it takes, really, before he’s pulling out despite your cunt’s attempts to suck him back in, and ramming himself back inside of you again and again.

the curve of his cock hits places previously untouched, and your walls spasm around him at the sensation.

“does it feel good, beoms?” 

“s-so good,” he mumbles as drool pools off of his tongue and out of his mouth, eyes rolling to the back of his head. “so warm and t-tight.” you clench against your will at his filthy words, and it makes a strangled cry leave his throat. 

“pussy so good, baby. your pussy is the b-best,” he babbles, and your lips meet his again before your mouth travels down, sucking a blooming hickey onto his neck. he trembles at the pain that comes with the pleasure, but somehow, he still has the presence of mind to roll his skilled fingers against your clit. just a few touches, and you already feel your orgasm approaching. he can feel every spasm of yours, and it makes his dick twitch inside of you as he wildly fucks you open. 

he’s drilling into you so hard, you have to dig your fingernails into the skin of his back to keep yourself grounded. with each thrust, you feel more and more like you’re about to burst. 

“gonna come!” you whine. 

“do it, baby. c-come all over my cock,” he pleads.

“come inside? want it so bad,” you mewl.

“of course, my angel. a-anything for you,” he tells you as he tenderly brushes your hair out of your sweaty face, and he hammers himself into you at an inhuman pace as you feel the pressure in you crescendo into a searing hot orgasm. you clench even tighter around him while you come, gripping him so forcefully he can barely pull out, so his thrusts become sloppy and uncoordinated before he rams himself into you one last time and paints your inner walls with his cum.

you two stay like that for a while, just panting and basking in the feeling of closeness you feel. he presses a kiss on your forehead as he relaxes his arms and lays on top of you. you giggle at the intimacy and he finds himself sharing your laughter, your joy. 

“you’re so beautiful,” he says between breaths, nuzzling his face into your neck and sighing. “i love you.”

“i love you, too, beoms,” you tell him, and you do love him. unconditionally.

notes pt. 3: :,) :,) :,)))))) i'm very sorry if this was disappointing but i hope it was worth it! i would love to hear your thoughts or answer any questions you may have about this fic/universe. feedback is needed to a disgusting degree bc i need validation to survive #sorry

[taglist]

permanent (sfw/[n]sfw): @my313 @lonelybutterflytae @cherrycolaberry @midwinterblizzard @everythingvirgoes @sooberryworld @20-cms @inkigayocamman @hyueika @boba-beom @vicurious28 @blossommi @lickingan0rchid @katsukis1wife @binniebakery @notevenheretbh1 @shymexican @that1sadgrl @archoive @paegesoobin @buttercreamerie @ifwtxt @softesyoongi @serenityism00 @fairfootedflekk @kyanmeai @definitelynotherr @hyunj00 @taehyunluvrs @m00gyu @denleave1088 @hwanghyunjinismybae @bmo-bri

an iron man: @beomieboi @eunwoo-headquarters @theresstardustinmyblood @prince-jjae @kodzukengaming @va1ry @explosiveyogurt @run4gyu @luv-joonie

if you want to join any of my taglists, please join here!

[callmemickey]

Simon Riley fucks intensely and passionately. He doesn’t grab your hair, or spit on your face, or cause you physical pain - my man’s has openly admitted to dealing with violent thoughts/dreams against women and wanting to be better. He might get rough if he’s stressed or angry, but he won’t be, like, throat fucking you for example. Sorry. I just can’t see it. He can be fast, but I don’t think he’s gonna be hardcore or degrading. I think if he gets the mask on, he miiiight be a little more… forthcoming.

Simon Riley finds sex to be the highest level of trust, love, and vulnerability. Don’t expect him to be a quick or easy lay. If he wants you intimately, this is the biggest honor you would ever receive from him. Maybe before he was tortured he would’ve been quicker to engage, but the Simon we know now? Yeah, you gotta work.

Simon Riley… ohhhhh he’s always asking you: “is that alright, love?” “that feel good?” “ahhhh, yeah, you’re a good girl, aren’tcha?” If you’re not feeling it, he’s not feeling it. he wants to make sure you’re into it 100%. the moment you grunt, wince, or groan in pain, he’s stopping to check up on his lovie. he just radiates Soft Dom energy to me (and I want him so bad). Simon loves to see you get all flustered, too. When you beg for him (and you’re a good girl) he will give you anything and everything you want.

Simon Riley being a Soft Dom… mmm, delicious. I love to imagine him praising and worshipping: “ahh fuck, i’ve missed my girl’s pussy” “so proud of you, taking my cock so well” “you want to be a good girl for me, don’tcha?” “you’re so beautiful when you struggle to fit me” if you’re engaged with him romantically, you’re his everything - man’s invested his entire soul and well-being into you. With that being said, throw him some praise, too! He’ll melt and become putty in your hands; he’ll do anything for you. Tell him how you were made for his cock, that nobody else makes you feel like he does, how you’re sooo good - but only for him. He’s definitely possessive of you - not in a red flag kind of way, but when you talk about how you’re his and only his… whew.

Simon Riley wants to see your face when you two are having sex. Anything missionary, missionary adjacent, cowgirl, it doesn’t matter, just let this man look at you! He doesn’t crave it, he needs it. Eye contact is so intimate, and if you’re shy and can’t maintain it? Ohhh, he’s gonna have fun. “eyes here, love” “don’t cover your face/close your eyes - i want to watch you cum” “you were just begging for my cock, don’t get all shy now” “be a good girl and look at me” he’s either coming inside or on your tummy/chest. preferably? inside.

Simon Riley prefers having a good session as opposed to a quickie. He likes doing things in the privacy of your shared home (because then you can be loud and cry his name as you cum on his cock for the 4th time 🤭). Sometimes, he’ll be desperate though, and this is when he gets a lil impatient. Like this one time, he went with you to your family’s Christmas party while being on leave for only a week, and he needed you. That man took you in the bathroom and railed you so hard you couldn’t leave for 15 minutes until you could stand without shaking (also not me writing this rn).

Simon Riley, upon specific request, will wear the mask in bed. Honestly, don’t expect this for a while, however. The mask serves as his identity - his separation from you. This will take a lot of courage on his behalf as you’re wanting to bring in something containing his countless sins and crimes into such an intimate situation. Like I said!!! It takes a while to get him this comfortable. Try to rush the process and you’re missing out on some pretty intense and animalistic fucking. It’s a rare time you can expect a more vicious kind of dirty talk from him: “fuckin’ hell, you like being a dirty little slut, huh?” “that pretty little face of yours deserves to be fucked” “your pussy was made for me” “shut up and keep taking it like a good girl should” “ahh, begging for my cock like the needy little slut you are”

Simon Riley loves aftercare, and he makes sure you feel loved during that time. Sweet Angel, we don’t deserve him. Massages, baths, checking on you emotionally and mentally, he’ll make you dinner, put on your favorite movie, and relax with you while he showers you with unconditional love and adoration. He’s obsessed with you. Get over it.

[chobunz]

── homie hoppin’ ( lhs, pjs, sjy, psh ) ּ 𓂅⋆ 📙

๑ Heeseung never wanted to believe the rumors about you around campus, to him you could never do wrong and he sees you as nothing less than an angel. But when his friends begin telling him about their nightly escapades with some “mystery girl” that sounds awfully familiar, he grows more suspicious of your true intentions you’ve been hiding all along.

pair: hyung line ㅊ f!reader, college au | warnings: pwp, smut, angst (kinda ??), hook-up culture, yn is the biggest fuckgirl omg (but she’s sooo cuntyy), humour, slut-shaming (not from the boys), daddy kink, oral (m + f. rec), mentions of running a train but it doesn’t happen lol, lots of s.x flashbacks, yn is so unbothered by everything 😴, unprotected s.x (yikes !!!) | teaser wc: 857

thanks to @leeechin & @pshbites for enabling this idea LOL, couldn’t have done it without them frfr. also here’s a silly little preview of what’s to come (it gets real MESSY in this sfdsfsd)

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

heeseung was never really the type to ever engage in gossip or drama going around campus. he’d rather simply mind his business and keep it moving, it was useless to entertain it anyway— most of the rumors held zero truth or any proof to back them up. what does seem to grab his attention however, is your name being constantly brought up in almost everyone’s mouths. you were the talk of the whole school and it wasn’t anything good that was being said about the girl he’s been sleeping around with on and off for the past few months or so.

“oh you know about y/n? isn’t she the one who’s always bouncing from one friend group to the next ? i wouldn’t trust her around my man even for a second..”

“didn’t she let leehan hit it at that party last night ? that girl needs to be stopped, she’s always messing around with different guys..”

“wasn’t she just with eunseok last week ? he was telling me all about how him and sungchan took turns on her.”

he couldn’t believe half the stuff that was being said about you. not only was it just plain disrespectful, but it was also disgusting how some people could spew such fabricated nonsense as if you weren’t a real human being with feelings. heeseung knew you two weren’t exclusive but you’ve been seeing each other more frequently, which made him think he might have a chance to make things official. at least he thought so, until he saw you talking with one of his close friends, jaeyun in the library. you both were way too close for comfort and the way you were giving him those same bedroom eyes that you’d always flash at heeseung, made his whole body fill up with an unimaginable amount of rage.

you were quite popular and well known around campus, your charming persona and pretty face was the perfect combo to get anyone to fall head over heels for you. everywhere you went you’d turn heads, all the boys would be breaking their necks just to get a glimpse of you. the tiny skirts you’d always wear had their eyes practically bulging out of their sockets, which only made the other girls seethe in utter jealousy. the way you could command an entire room without even trying was a superpower in itself, you didn’t need to put in the extra work to get all the attention on you because everyone gave it to you automatically.

it wasn’t until heeseung began hearing more about his friend’s sex lives that he’d grow more suspicious of what’s really going on. he usually zones out and doesn’t really listen much whenever they talked about it, but since the movie they were watching wasn’t all that interesting, he began shifting his attention to his friends. jaeyun and jongseong were always bragging about how much pussy they’d get but they seemed to hyperfocus on one particular girl that seems to get brought up a lot in their conversations. jaeyun would say how she gave him the ‘most life changing head’ he’s ever received, meanwhile jongseong was describing how some girl he fucked a few days ago rode his dick like a grade A pornstar.

heeseung wasn’t adding much of his input into the conversation, and neither was sunghoon as he tends to keep that part of his life more private. but, what made him suddenly wanna jump up in his seat was when jaeyun was telling them how hot the girl looked when he fucked her from behind, she had a back tattoo and he thought that was the sexiest shit ever. he never specified exactly what the tattoo was, but he remembers that you also had one too. maybe he’s just reading too much into it ? could it really be you they were talking about ? nah.. there’s no way. he’s sure there’s plenty other women with back tattoos walking around campus, it simply could be an eerie coincidence. he knows he isn’t the only one that you’re sleeping with, but to mess around with his friends would be a new low for him. he wouldn’t know what he’d do if he were to find out that happened..

his worries would only worsen when he catches sunghoon smiling and faintly giggling at his phone about something, to which jongseong asks him what’s so funny. sunghoon simply shrugs it off and says it’s nothing, quickly locking his phone before he lifts up from the couch to announce that he’s going back to his dorm. they all exchange their goodbyes and wish him a safe walk back to his place. but when he left, he was walking in the direction completely opposite of his dorm, he was heading the exact same way it took to get to your building instead. now he’s really starting to overthink at this point. there’s absolutely no way you’re actually fucking all of his friends and he doesn’t have a single clue about it. heeseung may be quite oblivious at times but he isn’t that stupid. he’s probably overreacting. again, could just be a very weird coincidence… right ?

just leave a comment if you wanna be added to the taglist ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

[fastandcarlos]

Engaged, When? : ̗̀➛ Charles LeClerc

summary: with all your friends settling down around you, you can't help but feel like you and charles are slipping away from everyone else

After what could only be described as the day from hell, the last thing you wanted to do was go out to a celebration. But that was exactly where you found yourself. Carlos’ and Rebecca’s apartment was bustling with people, noise and lots of excitement for the newly engaged couple. 

Whilst many others wore wild smiles on their faces, your expression couldn’t have been more different. All you wanted to do was go home and rest, but Charles refused to go to the party without you, ignoring your protests and encouraging you to show your face and happiness for the pair. 

It wasn’t that you weren’t happy for them, because you were, if anything, you were disappointed for yourself. Whilst Charles mingled and made sure to say hello to as many people as possible, you preferred to hang back and blend in, simply doing enough to try and make it seem like you were enjoying yourself. 

If there was one person that you weren’t convincing though, it was Charles. Out of the corner of his eye he could see you looking far from impressed, you might be able to deceive most people, but not Charles. Through the dances and the chatter, he made his way over to you, with many of his bosses around, he still felt the need to impress. 

Your body tensed up as Charles came and stood beside you, “I know you’re tired but at least try and look like you want to be here, we’re supposed to be celebrating our friends right now.” 

“It’s lovely, imagine falling in love and getting engaged so quickly,” you mumbled, taking a sip from your drink. Charles hummed as he walked off, not quite getting what you were saying. 

Just as Charles walked off, another figure appeared beside you. The smile on Pierre’s face was comforting for you as he nudged your side, wanting to make you smile too. 

“I know how you’re feeling,” Pierre sympathised as Kika appeared beside him. “We’ve talked about this enough times, but I promise you that he really does adore you.” 

It was easy for others to tell you, but truthfully, you were far from sure anymore. You and Charles had been together for almost a decade, and yet your relationship felt like it was stagnant these days. 

“How many more engagements do we have to celebrate?” You asked the two of them. “How many more times do I have to stand here wondering when it might be my turn?” 

“I’m sure Charles has got his reasons,” Pierre tried his best to reassure you, but even he was confused these days. “You have to trust me though, he is still madly in love with you, Charles wouldn’t still be with you if that wasn’t the case.” 

“Why can he not show me then?” You shrugged, “it’s not even about proposing anymore, it’s about doing anything to show me how he feels.” 

You knew the honeymoon phase was never going to last forever, but after ten years with Charles you hoped the next stage was going to arrive soon. If you were honest, you’d hoped it would’ve arrived by now, especially after watching so many of your friends get engaged and seemingly leapfrog the two of you. 

“I absolutely know he wants to marry you,” Kika added, offering you a warm smile. “It might not feel that way right now being here, but trust me, he does want to.” 

Your head nodded as you tried to use Kika’s words to convince yourself. “I’m glad you guys all feel that way, it would just be nice to feel that way myself. I’m supposed to be happy for Carlos and Rebecca, and instead I’m stood here wondering what about me?” 

As you felt yourself hit a wall of emotion, you excused yourself from the pair and walked off to get yourself another drink. Your shoulder brushed past Charles as you did so, going to say your name, but you were already gone. He looked to Charles and Kika, heading over to them for answers. 

“Why are you both looking at me like that?” Charles questioned, feeling like he was in for a scolding. 

“She’s really upset Charles, have you not noticed?” Pierre asked him. 

“Yeah, I know she’s a bit tired.” 

“It’s not just that.” 

“No?” Charles questioned in surprise. “You mean to say there’s more to this?” He quizzed them both. 

As Pierre nodded, Charles followed you to just outside of Carlos’ apartment and onto the balcony. You were resting on the railing as his figure appeared beside you, eyes watching you closely as you gave away nothing to let Charles know what was wrong. 

“Talk to me,” Charles whispered, his voice soft and calm, “what else is going on love?” 

Your body shifted so that you were facing Charles, “I’m supposed to be happy for these two, but if I’m honest, all I can feel right now is jealousy and frustration.” 

Charles’ brows furrowed as you spoke before the realisation hit him. A sigh escaped as he realised finally what it was that you had been hinting at, not just tonight, but for so many years as you celebrated others. 

“It’s stupid, I know, but I can’t help but feel like these days we’re being left behind. We’ve just stayed exactly where we are for years,” you confided in him. 

“We’ve always been so strong together, getting engaged, married, having kids, whatever it is it doesn’t define the two of us,” Charles spoke, draping his arms across your shoulders. “Maybe I’ve just become so comfortable that I never really thought about us taking that next step too.” 

You hated the fact that you allowed getting engaged to turn into some sort of competition for you, but your mind could think of nothing else. “I just feel like after ten years it should have happened, or at least to me it feels like it should have happened by now.” 

Charles took yet another step closer towards you. “I’ve thought about marrying you, more than you could ever imagine. I guess I’ve just never really felt like I’ve found the right time to.” 

“Is that right time ever going to come?” You asked, “I mean I always thought we’d be the first ones to settle, have a family, grow old together, but now we’re back of the pack.” 

“We can still do all of those things Y/N.” 

Your eyes looked desperately back at Charles, “then can you please start making me feel like they might be possible someday?” 

Hearing the frustration in your voice sent a shiver down Charles’ spine. He’d never considered how you felt about proposing, marriage and everything else that life threw at you. But now as he looked at you, he could see just how much it truly meant. 

“Am I the person you want to be with? Forever?” You quizzed, “do you really see your future with me Charles?” 

He took a tight hold of your hand, bringing your head towards him and kissing the top of it. “There’s no doubt in my mind that I see forever with you. And I promise all of those things will happen for us, but when the time is right for us.” 

“Thank you,” you whispered back across at him. “I just needed to hear that to reassure myself, with everything that’s been happening for our friends, I guess I just let the doubt begin to creep in.” 

Charles hummed, understanding exactly how you were feeling. He'd become so comfortable in your relationship he’d forgotten to think about how you were feeling. But as he felt you press a kiss against his cheek, he knew he couldn’t do that any longer. 

“Who knows, maybe it’ll be us that we’re all celebrating next time,” Charles joked. 

“I might just hold you to that LeClerc.” 

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[silkentine]

All I could think while drawing Nami was, “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy?” And, of course, with Robin I was thinking, “save a horse… 🥵”

Design Notes and other opining below the cut:

For Nami, I wanted to go for a mix of cocky Jersey mafia newbie and surfer boy. I like to think that some of the horrendous outfit choices that Sanji makes (especially in the movies) were actually picked out by Nami. She’s the shopper!!! But yeah, the vibrant swim trunks and graphic tees just scream Nami. I also wanted to put him in a wetsuit/rash guard because I think that’s a sexy look so sue me if you hate it. You cannot argue with me that Nami doesn’t wear swimsuits as clothes.

He’s toned but not as muscular as Robin or Luffy (for example) because he isn’t a front-line fighter, I want him to maintain the same kind of role that Nami has in the animanga. He’s the best navigator in the world!! I couldn’t decide if I wanted to change the violent tendencies that Nami has, but ultimately I think he’d still give the more deserving members of the crew a healthy wallop (although I might portray it more cartoonishly). Boy Piece!Nami still grew up under Arlong’s authority so he spent a lot of his childhood walking on eggshells to protect his village and his brother, Nojiko, so I think he never really got to learn “you’re not supposed to hit people just because they frustrate you” lesson. I gave him a shark-tooth necklace because surely Arlong had a few loose teeth to spare once Luffy took her down. Victory spoils LOL

If he can get the girls to stop wrestling and sit down quietly for a while, he likes to host card games (with betting, of course) or watch the clouds while sipping whatever fruity cocktail Sanji whips up. I believe that Canon!Nami is a total lesbian, and I can’t possibly envision a Nami who doesn’t like women so Boy Piece!Nami is bi. I am, of course, a Namivivi truther and Vivi is also a man in this AU. I don’t hate Sanami within this dynamic though… lots to think about.

Okay!!! All-shipper mindset aside, let’s talk Robin. I gave him long hair because 1) it’s hot and 2) I think it makes him look like Dragon. Yeahhh, I subscribe to the Luffy and Robin are half-siblings theory because I think it’s funny and makes some sense. Crocodile is 100% Luffy’s Mom in this AU and I think Robin knows it LOL

For his outfits, I wanted to lean a bit more Indiana Jones where I could; he’s still primarily cowboy inspired though. For the main look, I went with the Skypeia color palette hehe, I think Robin looks good in yellow. I did some flower-petal shaped color blocking on his chaps because I think it’s cute and subtle. I really love that the powers of the Hana-Hana-no-mi are like… unexpected for a “flower flower” fruit and I think Robin would be more aware that juxtaposition as a guy. You might also be wondering about the gloves and I initially just had it for his cowboy look but I decided to put them on all the outfits up until the events of Enies Lobby. Canon!Robin has a really difficult childhood and I think it’s exacerbated by the fact that she’s a girl on her own. If Robin was a boy, he’d probably have an easier time living on his own but would be a lot less emotionally open. All of these elements combine to make him want that physical barrier between his real hands and the world. Once he can trust that the Strawhats will always be there for him, he’s more willing to be more physically open.

I also think it’d be cute if he was much more of a coffee drinker :3c I see Canon!Robin as a connoisseur who likes a well-brewed espresso but Boy Piece!Robin needs a cup of joe (no matter its quality) every chance he can get. So I drew him with his special #1 ARCHAEOLOGIST mug.

It would make me so happy if you left your thoughts in the tags or replies!! Even if you hate everything about them, I just really like engagement hahaha. I’m thinking girl Usopp is next despite the poll results because she’s on my mind rn (don’t hold me to this, LOL I’m fickle). I’m making these for fun so I just wanna make designs in the order that interests me the most. Check out the tag “girl piece” on my blog to see all the genderbends I have so far. And happy pride!!!

[bewitched-if]

"A love not so genuine, a love so forced it was made to feel real."

[ DEMO ] ✧ [ RO INTROS ] ✧ [ WORLD LORE ] ✧ [ CWS ]

Overlooked your whole life, you never had any friends to turn to—except the neighbor's kid, who you could not even call your friend. Even your parents cared about others more than they cared about you. They made it clear that you were the bane of their existence, that they're ashamed to call you their child.

Sometimes, Jules tries to comfort you. They didn't know that they were the reason you were always lonely. Overlooked. Jules embodied perfection, kindness, intelligence—everything you were not. You wanted to be them. You wanted to be loved. Wanted to feel how it's like being the person everyone either wanted to be or to be with.

And now, you find yourself somewhere completely foreign. In a world filled with empires, kingdoms and dukedoms, you were suddenly the beloved heir and child of a highly respected House and Heart Lady's child. You were the so-called saint of the empire, loved and adored by all.

Everything felt surreal, forced. Everyone worshiped you, loved you, no matter what you did, no matter how you acted; they all just turn a blind eye.

You were right.

Stumbling upon an old mage's book, there you face a truth: the body you now inhabit cast a curse—bewitched—everyone—surprisingly affecting everyone but a certain group of people into loving you forever.

What will you do with this discovery? Will you continue to live through this artificial affection? Or will you fight to break the curse, risking everything to free yourself and those around you from this unnatural bond?

In a world where everyone loves you, will you ever find what true love really means?

Play as male, female, non-binary.

Customize your character, your original body and the child of Heart Lady.

Romance any of the five romanceable options; but earn their trust first.

Find a way to break the curse.

Or maybe even meet the original soul of this body?

Buy interactive drabbles in-game using hair pins. [in the works, more info coming soon.]

✧ These are your victims companions throughout the game. Will you befriend them or will you go for something more?

Juniper de Verburgh: Crowned Heir of Kleian Empire - Embodiment of: Jules : [NB] [RO]

Juniper is the Emperor's child and Kleian Empire's future ruler. They are often considered as angelic, intelligent, and attractive. Everyone either wants to be them, or be with them. Their hair is long, straight and red while their eyes are dark blue with porcelain skin. They remind you of your neighbor's kid, untouchable and perfect. Their personalities are similar too; charming, playful and excessively flirtatious towards you. You would think being engaged to someone will stop them from being touchy with Heart Lady's child, let me tell you something: No it won't. Perhaps, it is because they're affected by the spell? Or are they?

Celeste Roselli: Matriarch of Roselli Manor - Embodiment of Beatrice : [F] [RO]

Celeste took on the role of Matriarch of Roselli Manor after her father’s passing. Since then, she’s grown distant, serious, and almost impossible to approach. Her life revolves around work, her sister, and her responsibilities, leaving no room for rest or relaxation. The vibrant person she once was has faded, replaced by someone barely recognizable to those who knew her before the tragedy. She has long white hair that is ridiculously curly. Her skin is a deep shade of chestnut, while her eyes is glowing red. She reminds you of Beatrice, who was a girl who used to watch you get isolated and overlooked. She made no effort to befriend you, instead watched you get pushed around and left out. She was distant, cold, and shy. Celeste needed someone who she could call her home, her rest. Maybe that could truly be you?

Calliope Roselli: Celeste's Sister - Embodiment of Ophelia: [F] [RO]

Calliope is nothing like her sister. She is stubborn, fierce, and foul-mouthed. She often gets into scandals due to her recklessness and short-tempered nature. It's easy to get on her bad side, and when you do, you're in for hell. She shares her father's short, slightly curly hair and blue eyes, while her skin and hair color mirrors her mother and sister's. She reminds you of Ophelia, who was your ex-best friend and the only friend who betrayed you. Ophelia used to protect you from people, and you're not sure if you're fond of their similarities. Will you tame their fire, or will you get burned?

Rhys Stevyn Nicolei: Duke of Vasina - Embodiment of Feliks: [M] [RO]

If Rhys could pick one person who he hates the most in the whole galaxy; it would be you. You don't know the reason for his hatred, but the original soul must've done something to offend him, and it doesn't help that Rhys is suspicious of you because everyone seemed to love you. Rhys kind of acts like Juniper in a way, flirtatious, known for his hook ups and carefree attitude. Rhys has a neck-length, long braided black hair. His eyes is a deep shade of violet with olive skin. He reminds you of Feliks, who was your older sister's best friend and your rival. You and Feliks always tried to one-up each other, and to be honest, Feliks found solace when he found out you were a sore loser, a loner. It only made him joyful. How far will you go to make sure Rhys does not find out about the spell?

Kieran: Commander of Kleian Knights - Embodiment of Wren: [M] [RO]

As the Commander of Kleian Knights and your bodyguard, Kieran takes his job very seriously. You thought along with the four, that he would be the same and be immune to the spell, but what the hell is this arrangement? The original soul and he have a friends-with-benefits type relationship? Kieran has heterochromia eyes: left eye; gray, right eye; red. His caramel skin is always dirty due to spars, his hair is brown and tied up. Kieran reminds you of Wren, who acted like your protector and close confidant, he always looked at you with longing stares as if he wanted to kiss you. One thing led to another, and you found yourself falling in love and you thought he did too. But joke's on you, he didn't love you. He made a bet with your sister that if he could get you to fall in love with him, your sister would date him. All of it was fake. How are you supposed to know if Kieran is affected by the spell or not?

By falling in love it could either mean: 1) MC fell in love with the idea of being loved, 2) MC had actually fallen in love with Wren.

Zara/Zeke Montclair: The Magician - Embodiment of Zoya/Zivon: [GENDER-SELECTABLE] [ RO ]

Z is known to be quite... an outstanding magician. Often caught causing trouble in many ways, like accidentally setting their own tower on fire, losing valuable items given by the emperor, making kids cry, getting people sick due to their magic... Zara has short lavender hair, while Zeke has a long one. Their skin tan brown, while their eyes are black. Z reminds you of Zoya/Zivon, Your childhood friend who returned to Russia. Zoya/Zivon would always make you laugh when you were sad, always bring you food when you were hungry and starved, would always share their toys with you, would always play with you. Even though they had other friends to be with, they always chose you. But now that they're gone, you probably won't ever experience that happiness ever again. Once the only source of your happiness, now gone.

Kara (rename-able) [IRL] - Your older sister: [F]

Your sister... she's not really the easiest to get along with. Being seen as perfect in your parents' eyes, she got away with everything. Like getting into physical fights with you, humiliating you in public, messing with your stuff, et cetera, et cetera. She makes it clear that she hates your guts, and that she is overjoyed to see you suffer. How would she react when she sees you gone?

Mother [IRL] - Your mother: [F]

Your mother doesn't care about you. Not one bit. She is often away for her business trips, leaving you and Kara alone, but when she does come back, she doesn't even bat you an eye and focuses on Kara instead. She turns a blind eye whenever Kara picks on you, in front of her, unbothered. She probably doesn't even care that you're gone.

Father [IRL] - Your (step-)father: [M]

Your father... you don't have much say on him, honestly. The only time he ever talks to you was when he needs an errand child, or when he joins in on your mother yelling at you for whatever reason. There was one time where your mother asked you to buy things for your sister because she was too lazy, where you walked in on your father making out with some random woman at the back of a 7-11. He threatened to throw away the stuffed bear your biological father gave you if you ever snitched on him. He's probably overjoyed to see you gone.

??? - An otherworldly being: [?]

The voices in your head that make you go crazy, mental, second-guess, commit a crime.

reblogs appreciated <3 | demo: writing prologue; please be patient!

[biscuitdolly]

୨ৎ absolute necessities .ᐟ

if you're trying to glow up, get healthier, etc, these are the very basics that you absolutely NEED to follow!

01, WATER .ᐟ

Staying hydrated is crucial for your health and wellbeing. While the recommended daily intake is 8 cups of water, you can gradually increase your consumption over a few weeks if that seems too overwhelming. Drinking enough water provides numerous benefits, from clearing skin and flushing out waste, to boosting exercise performance and supporting weight loss. Despite being the very essence that sustains life, water is often underappreciated.

02, FOOD .ᐟ

I used to skip breakfast, thinking it would help me lose weight. However, studies show that those who eat breakfast tend to lose more weight and keep it off longer. The truth is, food is incredibly important. It's best to regulate your eating habits by consuming at least 3 meals per day, even if they're only small portions. Some food is better than no food. If you want to go on a diet, that's fine! but make sure you research healthy dieting methods. At a minimum, eat one serving of fruits and vegetables daily, and try to increase that to five servings per day if possible. Proper nutrition is key for your overall health.

03, HOBBIES .ᐟ

i have this previous post regarding hobbies you could try! It's so important to find fun activities that you genuinely enjoy and look forward to doing. Hobbies add fun to your life and pose as a nice break from technology and the stress of work and school. They also greatly improve symptoms of depression and anxiety. You could do some physical activity, such as a sport you like, or something more calm and creative, like painting or writing.

04, SLEEP .ᐟ

a lot of people struggle to fall asleep at a decent time. Try getting ready for bed early. Personally, I tend to take off my make up and do my skincare immediately after i come home for school/work so i don't have to worry about it before bed.

Technology is probably your sleeping schedule's worst enemy, as the blue light from the screen keeps your brain awake, so try to pause screen-related activities at least an hour before bed. Also, try not to snack 2 - 4 hours before you go to sleep. This is because lying down makes it harder for your body to digest food, which can result in sleeplessness.

Forcing yourself to go to bed super early isn't helpful either. Like I've mentioned in my other points, take things slow and gradual!

05, SOCIALIZATION .ᐟ

Engaging in simple social interactions, such as conversing with family, seeing friends, or greeting people on the street, is incredibly important. Isolating yourself in your room all day accomplishes nothing.

There was a time when I dreaded spending time with friends, convinced I lacked the energy or mood. However, once I forced myself to make plans, I realized how much I genuinely enjoyed their company. Other people are what make life truly worthwhile. So why not reach out to a friend right now and invite them to hang out tomorrow?

06, ACTIVITY .ᐟ

you don't need an exercise routine if you don't want one, but simple physical activity is still a daily necessity! At least 30 minutes is recommended. Personally, i most enjoy plugging in my headphones and going on a walk around my neighbourhood for an hour or two.

07, SELF TALK .ᐟ

Arguably one of my most important points, quit the self-deprecating talk. You never realize how much it affects you until you quit it. Yes, you can absolutely get that assessment done. Yes, you are a likable and amazing person. Just keep affirming and reminding yourself that you are worthy, and you will attract so many good things. Trust me, it will help you so much in the long run.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Daughter (Slight NSFW)

They keep sayin' that I ain't nothin' like my father

But I'm the furthest thing from choir boys and altars

If you cross me, I'm just like my father

I am colder than Titanic water

Synopsis: You and Joe's relationship is fairly new, and you are taken by surprise when a pregnancy test comes up positive. However, your boyfriend's reaction was the opposite of what you expected. Especially when he has just signed his five year contract extension which is now the highest in the NFL

Pairing: Boyfriend!Joe Burrow x Girlfriend!Reader

Requested by: a beautiful anon 😘

Do not engage if you are underage

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Soft kisses being placed across your shoulder blade had pulled you out of a deep sleep and you noticed that the sun was barely making itself known as you wrapped the comforter tighter around you to keep in all of the warmth that you possibly could.

You shut your eyes once more, but then you suddenly heard his voice.

“Baby doll, you awake?” You heard your boyfriend ask you as you felt his fingertips now dancing across your skin.

You opened your eyes and once again had to adjust to the light before answering him.

“I am now.” You quietly said as you heard him laugh.

“Good, turn around so I can see your pretty face.”

Moving your body from facing one side to the other, Joe's face came into view who gave you a sleepy grin when he finally laid his eyes on you.

“A sight I never get tired of waking up to.” As soon as those words left his mouth, you gave him the biggest eye roll possible which made him erupt with laughter once more.

“Joey, I look like a hot ass mess. It's okay though so there's no need to lie to me. We are building this relationship on a foundation of trust.”

“I'm not lying. My girlfriend is gorgeous all the time.”

“Hmm, funny. My hair is literally sticking up all over my head because I once again forgot to pack my bonnet, I have bags under my eyes from not getting enough sleep, and…”

Joe simply cut you off by placing a soft kiss on your lips.

“You need to learn how to just take compliments and stop trying to defend them.” He told you and your response was a simple shrug.

“Maybe one day, but today is not that day. So as I was saying..” You began to speak, but Joe promptly cut you off.

“Wouldn't tell you that you're the prettiest girl I ever laid eyes on if it wasn't true.” He told you and you couldn't help but to finally give him a small smile.

“Is that a smile that I see?” He asked as you then scrunched your nose up at him.

“Hmph, not anymore.”

“I never thought I would meet my match when it comes to someone who acts more like Squidward than I do.”

“Patrick is my favorite though.”

“That's surprising for sure seeing as it doesn't seem that you would have a lot of patience to deal with him.” He said as he pulled you closer to him.

“I make exceptions sometimes. For example, I said yes to going out on a date with you.”

“BABY!”

“Just kidding, babe!” You told him as you pinched his cheek and he promptly rolled his eyes at you.

“And it didn't have to do with me being the hottest quarterback in the NFL?” He asked while smirking.

“No, you know that I could care less about that and what your job is. It just happens to be a plus and a perk of dating you.” You told him being completely honest.

It was quiet for a few seconds as the two of you stared at each other when you finally broke it.

“Are you excited for training camp?”

“Yes and no. Yes because I'm excited to get back out there of course and no because I'm not going to be able to spend as much time with you.”

The relationship was fairly new being months old and Joe wanted to spend as much time as possible with you before football took over once more. You were always excited for football season, but even more so now that you had a significant other that played in the NFL.

“Joey, it's your job so I understand. I'm so proud of you and want you to be focused so that you are able to do your absolute best. I'll still be here cheering you on. I promise.” You told him as you brushed a hand through his hair and kissed the tip of his nose.

“I can't wait to be able to look up in my suite at the stadium and see you in there.”

“I can't either. I haven't been to a Bengals game in a while.”

“Even though your dad is a season ticket holder?”

Your dad had been a season ticket holder since before you were born seeing as your grandfather passed it to him. Being a single father to you wasn’t easy in the slightest but the love of football was something that the two of you bonded over.

“Yes, even that. Ever since I became a chef and opened my restaurant, it's been a lot harder. I just have to find more people that I can trust to keep it up and running so that I'm able to come and see you play. That way I'll be able to give you my undivided attention and not have any worries lingering in the back of my mind.”

“You act as if Kendall can’t do it. She could literally run the restaurant blindfolded.” Joe responded as he was referring to your best friend that you had met in culinary school.

The two of you had met when Joe, Tee, Sam, and Ja'Marr wanted to try a new upscale restaurant in the middle of downtown Cincinnati during the beginning of the off season. It was near closing time when Ja'Marr had asked to meet the head chef; the head chef being you to give his compliments personally. Your eyes as well as Joe's had locked that night and the two of you had been infatuated with each other since. It honestly felt like a lifetime ago and not a few months.

“I know she can and I have to give her more credit. On the other hand, I've definitely been spoiled with it being the off-season and being able to spend as much time with you as I want with you also coming to see me at work.” You told him as he smiled.

As soon as you two had met, Joe would be at the restaurant a few times a week and eventually asked for your number one night. Of course you had told him yes and he found himself coming to visit if he wasn’t doing anything else. He always had a specific table that he sat at and would let you know when he was coming to see you so that they could reserve it for him. It was on the second level that looked out over the balcony.

“What time are you going in today?” He asked as he noticed that it was barely seven in the morning.

“I probably should have already left since it'll take me a little longer to get there.” You said as you made an attempt to get up, but Joe quickly pulled you back.

Your condo was closer to the restaurant and staying with Joe added close to another 25 minutes.

“Joeyyyy!”

“Can I have you for at least another hour or so? The restaurant doesn't even open until 4.”

“But I have to prep!”

“Babe, please?” He asked as he started to give you puppy dog eyes.

“No! Don’t you dare give me that look!” You scolded him and at the same time he laid you on your back as he climbed on top of you.

“Please?” He asked again as he gave you a light kiss on your lips and started placing a trail of kisses down your already bare body from the activities from the night before.

His fingers lightly brushed your folds and your hips bucked in response making a light chuckle escape from his lips.

“You sure you don't want to stay? Your body is telling me otherwise.” He asked as he inserted two fingers and slowly began moving them in and out of you.

“Baby…”

“Hmm, one round or two? Knowing you, you're going to tell me one and then change your mind when you remember how good I make you feel.”

Joe didn’t wait for you to answer him as he settled himself in between your legs and added his tongue to pleasure you without his fingers leaving your body.

In order to keep your legs spread and to also keep you from running from, he removed his fingers from you to keep a tight hold on both of your legs as his mouth continued to pleasure you.

“Shiiit, oh my gosh.” Was the only sentence that you could form as both of your hands found a way into his hair.

Joe was the first boyfriend that you ever had that actually took the time to pleasure you and always made sure you had multiple orgasms before he even had one. He had always told you that his favorite thing was to eat you out because of the way you taste. If it was honestly left up to him, he would stay between your legs for hours.

“Keep still, baby.” Joe told you as he then began to suck on your clit.

“How am I supposed to keep still when you do that!?” You exclaimed as he was still holding you in place. The vibration from his laugh was felt as he sucked harder.

“I'm… Oh FUCK!” You yelled and before you were able to get your entire sentence out, you squirted all over Joe's face as he continued sucking on your clit no matter how hard you tried to move away from him.

“Nope, where do you think you’re going?” He asked as he continued to eat you out.

“Give me at least one more and I'll think about letting you move.”

“You are such an ass!” You told him while playfully hitting his shoulder.

“Hmm, is that what you tell your boyfriend as he's eating you out and making you feel good?”

“Yes! Because he won’t let my legs go!”

“Hmm, so you can fall off this high ass bed? I think not. Come on baby doll, one more. My pretty baby can give me one more.”

Keeping him talking gave you a little bit of a break, but that soon went back out the window as he dove back in and gave you his undivided attention once more.

You were starting to squirm and tears were threatening to leave your eyes as another orgasm washed over you. Joe finally stopped to come up for air, but before he did he lightly placed kisses on both of your thighs before climbing back up your body and leaning down to kiss you.

“I knew you could do it. Such a good girl.”

“And you’re still an ass for that.”

“I’ll be that because later on in the day once you leave here and you’re thinking about me because I know it's going to happen. You'll think about me being between your thighs and then the first thing you’re going to do is tell me how wet that made you and how much you want me to make you cum over and over and over again.” He told you as he whispered against your lips before kissing them.

“Am I wrong?” He asked and you shook your head no as another smirk came across his face.

“But for now, I can settle for this.” He told you as he lined up with your entrance and then suddenly stopped.

“Babe?”

“I forgot to go to the store so I don’t have any more condoms. Shit, I forgot about that. But if you’re okay with it?” He asked, searching your eyes for approval.

“I’m okay with it. Gives me a chance to feel all of you.” You answered without skipping a beat.

“You sure you’re ready for that?” He asked while smirking.

“If I wasn’t sure then I wouldn’t have said yes to begin with.”

Nodding in approval, Joe slowly entered you until he bottomed out and you both moaned at the sensation. Feeling every bit of him was going to put you over the edge and the last thing on your mind was the fact that you would learn to regret it later.

—

Training camp was now coming to a close and pre-season games were due to start as you and Joe were on facetime. He had sent you a text earlier in the day saying that he had something he wanted to tell you later on when he got back home. The anticipation had been building all day and you were growing annoyed with him still keeping you in suspense.

“Babe, out with it already.” You told him as you were laying down with multiple pillows propped up underneath you. You hadn’t felt well for the past week and a half and simply blamed it on the stomach bug that you knew that had been going around. You had left Kendall in charge of everything while you stayed home to rest with her periodically checking on you.

“So, the final negotiation went well for my contract.” He started to say and you instantly smiled.

“Oh, that’s right because your rookie contract is over. I forgot that you had to do that this year. Do you feel that you’re happy with the decision that they came up with?” You asked as you took a sip of ginger ale.

“Definitely happy with the decision. Once it’s signed, It’ll be the biggest contract for a quarterback as well as in the history of the NFL.”

“Oh my gosh, that’s so exciting and you definitely deserve it. I see all the hard work that you’ve been putting in and it is definitely paying off. I’m not feeling all that great, but I promise to make you a celebratory dinner so that we can celebrate properly. I am literally so proud of you!”

“Thank you baby doll. Means a lot coming from you.”

“Always going to be here to support you as long as you want me.” You told him as he smiled.

“I want you for the long run, you already know this and besides you’re the celebrity in my eyes anyway. Who would have thought a celebrity chef would go out with little old me who just happens to be a quarterback in the NFL in his spare time?” He asked as you softly laughed. Any intense movement would instantly make your stomach hurt or make you want to throw up.

“You are too much sometimes and so incredibly dramatic.” You told him as you playfully rolled your eyes.

“You’ve literally known this since day one and it hasn’t been a problem so why start now?” He asked as you saw him prop up his phone and move around in the kitchen.

“I feel so bad that I can’t make you anything tonight.” You sadly said as Joe brushed you off, but a look of concern immediately spread across his face.

“Do you still not feel well? Babe, it’s been almost two weeks.”

“I know and I have a doctor’s appointment at the end of the week on Friday. Hopefully they’ll be able to tell me what’s going on because I am so miserable right now.

“Just let me know what they say. I’m going to actually sign the contract that day. So later that night, we can celebrate.”

“Yes, that’ll be the perfect day to make dinner for you. Do you have any special requests?” You curiously asked and Joe answered you without a second thought.

“Hmm, yeah. I’ll just have you for my dinner and my dessert.”

“Joeyyy, I meant actual food. You cannot just eat me out and think that is sufficient enough for you to survive.”

“Says who?” He asked as he took a drink out of the water bottle that he just opened.

“I have no idea what I’m going to do with you.” You told him as you were smiling at him.

“But on a serious note, do you need me to bring you anything? You definitely don’t look like your normal self.”

“I promise that I’m okay. I just have to ride it out and wait for it to pass, no big deal.”

“The minute something changes, you call me. Promise?”

“I promise. The last thing I want is for you to come around me and end up getting sick yourself. Stay away until I give you the all clear on Friday.”

“As hard as I know that will be, I have no choice so I guess I’ll listen to you. The last thing I need is to get sick right before the season starts.”

“Exactly. Have to keep you as healthy as possible.” You told him as you glanced at the clock in your room to see that it was around eight at night.

“I’m going to try and get some sleep since I literally have been puking my guts out every morning for a week and a half straight.” You told Joe who gave you a sympathetic look.

“Go ahead and go to sleep. Just leave your phone on facetime.”

“So you can be a creep and watch me sleep, Burrow?”

“I literally always watch you sleep when you stay with me so this is no different. You just aren’t next to me. I always do it to make sure you’re okay.”

“You are too sweet. One of the many things I love about you.”

“Hmm, so I’m melting that cold ass ice box of a heart you have? Is Y/N showing FEELINGS?!” He playfully teased you as you shook your head.

Joe knew from the beginning how independent you were and that you didn’t need a man to depend on for anything. You can give your father credit for raising you that way. You could fix things around the house, change a tire, change the oil in your car and that wasn’t even the tip of the iceberg. If there was something you wanted or needed, you would stop at nothing in order to make it happen. Even though you were infatuated with Joe ever since you laid eyes on him, you let him know upfront. One thing that Joe admired about you was your will to be independent. Although, he did want to spoil you from time to time.

“You’re slowly melting it, I think you’ve made it about 25%.”

“Only 25%?!?! Seriously?! You have got to give me more credit than that.”

“Hmm, maybe 35% because of how good you eat me out.”

“WHAT? That by itself should equal 1000%!” Joe exclaimed and you had gotten comfortable under the covers.

“Well you are melting it, so just be happy about that. You're the first one to do it in a very long time.”

“I am now close your eyes and go to sleep.”

“You promise to stay on the phone and make sure I’m okay?” You asked and a small smile spread across his face before nodding at you.

“I promise.”

Friday had finally come around and you were now on your way to Joe’s house to celebrate him signing his new contract. However, there was something now hanging over your head. You were uneasy because of the news that you had to share with him and honestly couldn’t believe it yourself.

You stayed in the parking lot at the doctor's office for an extra 45 minutes before you even thought about moving your car.

It wasn’t a simple stomach bug that you had been dealing with for two weeks, it was an entire human being growing inside of you and them trying to make you aware of their presence. The signs had all been there and it wasn’t until your doctor wanted you to do a pregnancy test that the dots were finally starting to connect.

Your period was late and it had never been late in your entire life

Your boobs were sore

Just about everything made you nauseous and being a chef hadn't been working out for you for these past two weeks

You would throw up every morning like clockwork and then be fine for the rest of the day

The looks of shock and disbelief hadn’t left your face since you had departed from your doctor’s appointment and your mind was racing a mile a minute. The relationship between you and Joe had barely gotten off of the ground and the last thing that you wanted to add to that was an entire child that you had no idea if he would even want.

But you had to be honest with him.

For the short time that you had known him, Joe was an amazing person that you saw being in your life for the long run and he was one person that you wouldn’t mind fathering your kids because you knew that he cared about your well-being so you could imagine that he would care about theirs too.

You figured that you had to tell him when you got there because if something was off, he immediately knew and could read you like a book. The hardest thing at the current moment was for you not to break down crying.

Joe asked for you to make a simple dish that you made all the time, chicken and broccoli alfredo. Except for him, you would substitute regular noodles for protein pasta so that he would meet his goal for the day. You had started to feel a little bit better yesterday so you had gone to the store and dropped the ingredients off at Joe’s house so you didn’t have to worry about bringing them with you after your doctor’s appointment.

Parking your car next to Joe’s Porsche, you placed your purse on your shoulder before getting out and making your way to the front door. Pulling out your key that he had given you, you opened it and quickly turned the knob before making your way inside.

Stepping across the threshold, it was quiet except for the television that you could hear in the living room and to no surprise it was playing Spongebob which you had to laugh at. That was one of the first things that you and Joe had bonded over.

As you walked further into the house and made your way into the living room, your boyfriend caught your eye as he was asleep on the couch and you assumed that he had been waiting for you. He looked peaceful and the last thing you wanted to do was disturb him so instead you placed a kiss on his forehead before setting your purse down and making your way into the kitchen to start on the dinner that he requested.

Not wanting to work in silence, you put one of your air pods in your ear and turned on your Kendrick Lamar playlist as you started to move around the kitchen. The decision to only put one in was to be able to hear Joe when he started to stir.

About twenty minutes later, dinner was already halfway done when you heard footsteps entering the kitchen. You turned around from the stove to be met with the sight of your sleepy boyfriend rubbing his eyes as he made his way over to you to place you in a hug and placed several kisses on both of your cheeks.

“Hi, sleepy head. About time you woke up.”

“How long have you been here?” He asked as he kissed you once more.

“Probably thirty minutes give or take. Luckily you chose something that was quick and easy. We probably have about fifteen more minutes. I just have to pour the sauce on the pasta and put the garlic bread in the oven.”

Joe nodded as he left his arms wrapped around you and you quickly squeezed him tighter, hoping that by the end of the night it wouldn’t be the last time that you got to do so.

“How did your appointment go?” He asked as he finally let you go so you could finish cooking.

“Um, not what I expected.” You quietly said as you had now turned around to face the stove leaving you facing away from him.

“Baby, is everything okay? You saying that has me worried.” Joe replied as he turned you around once more to face him.

“I… I just don’t know how you’re going to take this.”

“Take what? Are you sick? Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together, just tell me.” Joe told you as he held onto both of your hands.

Taking a deep breath, you blurted it out.

“It wasn’t a stomach bug like I thought, I’m pregnant.”

As soon as those words left your mouth, Joe’s hands immediately detached from yours.

“What do you mean you’re pregnant?”

“When you have sex multiple times without a condom, these things tend to happen.” You said trying to make light of the situation, but Joe did not look amused in the slightest.

It was quiet for a few minutes and it was you who had to break the silence.

“Joey?” You said and he sighed before pinching the bridge of his nose and responding to you.

“So, was this your plan all along? To trap me?” Joe asked you and the expression that appeared on your face was unreadable to him.

It took everything in you to not cuss him out right then and there.

“Hmm funny. You're the one who didn't bother to wear a condom the last few times we had sex. And I know that you cannot be serious.” Was your response as you crossed your arms over your chest.

“What's also funny is that you said you were okay with it. I obviously wouldn't have done it if you weren't. So it just so happens I signed the biggest contract for a quarterback in NFL history and suddenly my girlfriend of four months is now pregnant? And I am being fucking serious.”

“Are you calling me a gold digger? Because that's what it sounds like.”

“You said it, not me.” He told you as he held his hands up in defense.

“What do I need your money for when I have my own? You act like I don’t even have a career. Did you forget that I own my own restaurant?”

“You obviously don't have nearly as much as I do.”

“You are literally unbelievable right now. You're acting as if this is entirely my fault when it was both of us.” You exclaimed and he continued to look at you with a straight face.

“I'm at the height of my career and the last thing I need is a kid with someone I barely even know.”

Your heart dropped hearing how he talked about you, but especially that last statement and did your best to keep a straight face when in reality hearing something like that would probably make tears fall from your eyes.

The thought that he would be surprised, but also supportive of you had now gone out of the window.

“Well it's a good thing that this relationship is no more isn't it? So you won't have to worry about it anymore.” You said to Joe as you made your way to the living room and took the key to his house off of your keychain and handed it to him while you threw your purse over your shoulder.

He watched as you walked away from him and started to open the front door when you turned back to look at him.

“Remember everything that you said to me because I know it's going to come back to haunt you and you'll end up regretting it. And by the type of person I am, you know that I do not forgive easily or at all.”

“I highly doubt that.”

Hearing his reply, you had to laugh to yourself because at this point in time you knew that he would come crawling back to you sooner or later. His conscience would eat away at him and he would start to feel guilty. Even if you had only known him for a matter of months, deep down he was a good person that always tried to do right by others although he wasn’t displaying that now towards you.

“Just remember I told you so. I never needed you before and I sure as hell won't need you in the future. The difference was that I wanted you simply for you and not your money. Good luck finding someone who valued you as much as I did.”

Slamming the door behind you, once you got into your car and put on your seatbelt, you picked up your phone that you had thrown on the passenger seat and proceeded to block Joe's number.

If he didn't want to be in your child's life, the last thing you were about to do was beg. You made it up in your mind that the two of you were going to be fine with or without him.

The regret of it all was going to hit him like a ton of bricks.

—

A month and a half had gone by and you put all of your focus and energy into the restaurant and spent time reading pregnancy books that were highly recommended especially for first time mothers.

Reading what was currently going on in your body had you scared shitless, but you were determined to make it through this one step at a time. Only person that you could depend on now was yourself.

After blocking Joe’s number, you had also blocked him on all of your social media accounts wanting absolutely nothing to do with him. You went as far as also blocking Ja’Marr, Tee, Sam, and Andrei who would frequently come with him to your restaurant wanting no ties to anyone associated with him.

Plenty of people at the restaurant asked where Joe was, but you couldn't bring yourself to tell them that you had unfortunately broken up, especially one of your favorite hostesses Blanca. She had been obsessed with you and Joe and thought that the two of you looked good together.

I mean from your perspective, the two of you definitely weren't together anymore although when you had originally said it, Joe didn't even bother to react. Because you hadn't told them anything, they always kept his table open unless you told them otherwise. One of these days you were going to get around to banning him completely even if that did seem a little extreme. But on the other hand, he had hurt you and that particular reason was enough.

It was getting harder to hide the bump that was now as obvious as it gets and getting a larger size in a chef uniform every single time your belly grew was getting annoying. So you opted to actually wear sweatshirts as long as it wasn't too hot in the kitchen. If it did get hot, you made sure to have an extra large shirt underneath which left people a little confused but attributed it to simply being your comfort level.

The morning sickness was at an all time high today even though you were well past the time frame of still having it. You made a note in the back of your mind to say something at your next doctor’s appointment. Because of this, the ultimate decision was made for you to stay home, but promised your dad nonetheless that you would make dinner for him since he had gotten a promotion at his job. You wanted to celebrate him properly since you knew how hard he had worked for it.

The food was almost done as you heard the doorbell ring and smiled to yourself because you were excited to be able to finally catch up with your dad. Once you wiped your hands on your apron and walked to the front door to open it, you were caught off guard with your dad placing you in a bone crushing hug with you tightly hugging him back. You knew you had to tell him before the night was over. Once again you were wearing a baggy shirt that hid how big your belly had actually gotten.

“Daddy!” You exclaimed as your eyes met his.

“Hey, pumpkin!”

Once he placed you back on the ground, you moved to the side in order for him to be able to get through the front door. Once you did he followed you into the kitchen and took a seat at the island.

“So, when are you moving into your corner office?” You asked as you poured a glass of red wine and placed it in front of him. It was your favorite brand and it was hard for you to not also pour a glass for yourself.

“On Monday but I already moved a few things over. It's amazing how much you can accumulate over the years.” Your dad answered, but you lowkey knew that he was a hoarder. But being a single dad, you couldn't blame him. Everything little thing counted.

“I am literally so proud of you but it sounds like you could stand to do a little deep cleaning.” Every time you went over to his house, you made it a mission to throw something away without him noticing. So far you had been successful, doing it since you had turned eighteen.

“I never know when I might need something from my stash so I have to be prepared. I told you that hard work pays off but you're definitely no stranger to that. How's the restaurant doing?” He asked as he took a sip.

“Really good. I'm working on debuting our updated Fall menu in the next week or so. The main one already came out.”

“Please tell me you're bringing back the cinnamon apple spice rolls.”

“Of course I am since I know that they're your favorite.”

It took a minute, but your dad caught onto you not drinking any wine and he knew that particular brand that you had given him was your favorite making him look at you in confusion.

“You're not going to get a glass for yourself? Oh, how's Joe by the way? I feel like it's been a minute since you mentioned him. Let me know which Sunday you're free so we can go to a game together.”

“No wine for me tonight and I actually wouldn't know how he's doing because we aren't together anymore.”

“What? Since when? I thought you really liked him. And that's saying something because you hardly like anyone.”

Taking a deep sigh, you turned back to your dad and he could tell by the expression on your face that something was wrong.

“I'm pregnant and Joe wants nothing to do with the baby. After I told him we got into an argument about it, I left his house and immediately blocked him.”

Your father looked at you in disbelief before any words left his mouth.

“What? How could…?”

“He thought it was really interesting how I turned up pregnant when he had just signed his new contract. We got into an argument, he called me a gold digger and I left. Blocked his number as soon as I slammed the door behind me. Gave him back his house key too.”

“Pumpkin…”

“Dad, no. I'm doing this by myself and we're going to be fine.” You told him since you knew the first thing he was going to do was worry himself over it.

“I didn't want this for you. Single parent life. I was hoping that you would get married to someone who loved you for you before you had children.”

“It didn't quite work out that way, but like I said it'll be fine.”

“I need to talk to him so he can get some sense knocked into him. You mean to tell me he had no problem not wearing a condom, but runs for the hills the second you come up pregnant? Really?” You knew your dad was going to protect you at all costs and knew that you had to keep him as far away from Joe as possible.

“No you don't. I don't need him and my baby doesn't need him either. He made his choice and he has to be the one to deal with it.”

“Whatever decision you make, I'm going to support you 100%.”

“Thanks, dad. I appreciate you saying that.” You told him as you set his plate in front of him.

“It's been us against the world since you were born so this isn’t any different. That baby will grow up in a household full of love and won't even notice that someone is missing from their life because they aren't going to want for anything.”

Your mom had literally snuck out of the hospital without being discharged hours after you were born leaving you in a bassinet in her designated hospital room where she was supposed to be recovering. She had left while your dad had stepped out to get her some food since she didn't like the food that they served in the hospital.

No one had seen her since.

Over the years you noticed that your dad wouldn't really talk about her so the most that you knew was her name. There was never a desire to find her since you had it in your mind that she didn't want anything to do with you and those feelings are reciprocated right back towards her.

When your dad had gotten back to the hospital, everyone was frantic and she had never given any inkling that she didn't want to keep you so he was just as confused as everyone else. From that moment forward, your dad made it up in his mind to give you the best life possible and to keep her away from you.

“You taught me not to depend on a man for anything. Or anyone else for that matter.”

“Pumpkin, this situation is a little different…”

“No, it isn't. If he doesn't want to take care of his responsibilities then so be it.”

Hearing your dad sigh as he stabbed his fork into his mashed potatoes, he nodded his head at you.

“So, have we decided on any names yet?”

“Not yet, but I have a very strong feeling that the baby is a girl.”

—

It was a dreary day in Cincinnati when practice had come to a close for the Bengals and Joe was walking back towards the locker room in order to get ready for his presser when Ja’Marr stopped him and pulled him to the side.

“Bro, what is wrong with you? And don’t you dare stand up here and lie to me. I know when something is off with my best friend.”

Ja’Marr had noticed despite Joe’s efforts to remain his nonchalant self, something was eating away at him. He noticed in the pre-season and just assumed he was trying to get back in the groove of things, but as time went on he felt that something was off and wasn’t getting better.

“Nothing is wrong.”

“Bullshit and I’m about to call your mom if you keep lying. I’m due for a bowl of snickers salad anyway.”

Taking a deep sigh, Joe threw his helmet down on the ground before responding which left Ja’Marr a little confused.

“Uh?”

“Y/N is pregnant.”

“Oh! Congratulations. Is that why you’re so damn stressed? I mean I get it. When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I think I went into shock for a few days.” He told him as he picked up his helmet for him and he tried to continue walking before Joe pulled him back.

“That’s not all.”

“Oh…”

“She told me this about two months ago when she had been feeling sick for about two weeks and I told her to make a doctor’s appointment. It just so happened to be on the day that I signed my new contract when she told me about her being pregnant. In not so many words, I dismissed her and dismissed the thought of her being pregnant seeing as we had only been together for four months at the time.”

“But, you apologized though, right? I’m trying to go to her restaurant on Sunday after we win. Been a while since I’ve seen her. I get that you were caught off guard by it but I mean the way that you were talking, yall were fucking morning, noon, and night. So, are you surprised?”

“Didn’t apologize, instead I accused her of being a gold digger and she broke up with me and for good reason. I said some not so nice things to her when she obviously came to me scared shitless.”

“Damn, okay. We can fix this. Just have to apologize to her and…”

“Knowing how she is, she is not going to let me anywhere near her or the baby because of how I reacted. Like, she is a person who protects herself and her well-being, as soon as she feels something is off, she cuts you out of her life without a second thought. Her boyfriends have called her cold hearted in the past, but fail to mention how they failed her as boyfriends eventually making her the way she is.”

“Okay, back up for a second. Do you want to be in this baby’s life or not? Because the Joe I know would.”

“I do now that I sat down and thought about everything that went down. I feel so bad about how I talked to her, but when I tried to call her like a day later, I found out she blocked me. But also went as far as blocking me on every social media page she has. I literally cannot find a trace of her and it’s like she doesn’t even exist.”

“Uh? She has an entire restaurant that you can go to? And a house? Go there and talk to her.”

“For her to kick me out? I can imagine that she’s told her best friend Kendall by now as well as her dad who I know probably wants to kill me. He’s a season ticket holder so I know that it’s only a matter of time before he shows up to a game and beats my face in.”

“Okay let me see real quick.” Ja’Marr said as they had finally made it back into the locker room. He went and unlocked his phone and noticed that you had done the same thing as you had done to Joe.

“Shit…”

“What?”

“She blocked me too. I was going to see if I could convince her to talk to you, but now that plan has gone out the window.” He said to Joe as he scratched the top of his head.

“I just need to make this right somehow, someway.”

“Like I said, go to the restaurant and talk to her. The worst thing that she could possibly do is say she doesn’t want to talk to you. If she does, we’ll figure out next steps from there so you can be in this baby’s life. I got your back, bro despite how fucking stupid you reacted to this entire situation. She didn’t get pregnant by herself. We’re going to fix this. Y/N cares about you too much.”

“I think the ship of her wanting anything to do with me sailed away a long time ago.”

After his presser and the day had finally come to a close, Joe got into his car and was on his way home until he started to go in the other direction. He figured that his parents would also be able to help him through this.

To Athens it was.

Majority of the drive was done in silence in order for him to be able to think about what his next steps would be regarding you and the baby. He definitely didn’t want to be seen as a deadbeat father. He wanted a chance for his child to grow up with both parents even though they probably won’t be under the same roof. Walking away would weigh so heavily on his conscience and he knew for a fact that he couldn’t go about his daily life not knowing if you as well as his child was okay.

By the time he reached his parents house, it was around 6 in the evening and saw that both of their cars were in the driveway which he was happy about. That way he wouldn’t have to re[eat the entire story to both of them separately.

Once he reached the front door and opened it, he walked in to see both of his parents sitting in the living room and they looked up at him surprised.

“Didn't think we’d be seeing you until Sunday.” His dad said as he got up to greet him, while Robin was busy analyzing him. She could tell that something was off.

“You would not drive all the way here unless something is wrong so start talking.” She told him after she hugged him.

“Hmm, you didn't waste any time. Who said something had to be wrong?”

“Because we know our child like the back of our hand.” Jim responded as Robin nodded.

“Can I at least eat something first before I get interrogated?” Joe asked and a small smirk appeared on Robin's face.

“We can do it at the same time and lucky for you, the food should be done.” She said to him as she made her way into the kitchen with Joe and Jim walking behind her.

Once everyone was settled at the table, a thought concerning you popped into Robin's head and she made it a point to ask about you.

“How’s Y/N? You haven't mentioned her lately. When are we going to meet her? I was hoping she would be there on Sunday.”

That was when Joe put his fork down on the table.

“I… We broke up at least I think we did and it's entirely my fault and I don't think she's going to forgive me.”

“I'm sure you two can talk it out. You're adults and from the way you talk about her we know she's important to you.” Jim told him and Robin quickly agreed.

It was quiet for a few seconds before Joe laid everything out in one breath.

“She told me she was pregnant the day I signed my contract and I accused her of being a gold digger and we got into an argument and she definitely said that I would regret the way that I had talked to her so here we are.” Joe muttered and both of his parents looked at him in disbelief.

“Joseph….”

“I know how bad it sounds and I was an asshole to her.”

“When's the last time you talked to her?”

“That was it and I haven't talked to her since. She's blocked me on everything and I don't know what to do. When I say how everything went down out loud, I feel bad all over again.”

Jim and Robin sat in silence as they had a conversation with one another only with their eyes.

“We raised you better than this.”

“I know.”

“If you had your suspicions about it, a DNA test could have been performed when they were born. Calling her a gold digger wasn't needed.”

“I know, I already feel bad enough. But I highly doubt that she is going to forgive me.”

“Well from the way you talked to her, do you think that you deserve forgiveness?” Jim responded as Joe took a deep breath and sighed.

“Probably not if I'm being honest.” He quietly said.

“I don't know what you need to do but you better make this right so I can see my future grand baby.” Robin told him as she still had a look of disbelief on her face and pointed her fork in his direction.

—

After the game on Sunday as well as the press conference, Joe was once again sitting in his car and debating if he should go to the restaurant and talk to you. Since it was a night game that was played, he knew that the restaurant wouldn’t close until 2 am and the closer it got to closing time, the less busy you would be.

His mother had been asking him every day since he confessed what he did if he had talked to you and knew for a fact that she was growing extremely annoyed with him since the answer was always no.

By the time he had reached the restaurant, it was approaching one in the morning. He parked and made his way inside only to be greeted by his favorite hostess Blanca. What caught him off guard was her giving him death glares. Blanca had only overheard what he had done from overhearing Kendall and you talking, but it was enough for her to start to not like him.

“Blanca.”

“We’re closed, Burrow.”

“Uh? You don’t close for another hour….” He trailed off and he looked down at his watch in confusion making sure that he had the time right.

“What do you want?” She asked him as she took out a nail file and began to work on her left hand.

“To see Y/N, I need to talk to her.”

“Funny seeing you here now seeing as you haven’t been around for about two months. Word on the street is that the two of you broke up and it was your fault and seeing as Y/N employs me and cannot do any wrong in my eyes, whatever I heard that you did, you definitely did it.” She quietly said as she held up her hand to examine it.

“Blanca…. I really need to talk to her and I’m not explaining myself to you. It’s between me and her, not me, her, and you.” Joe explained, but all she did was roll her eyes.

“Seeing as you have to get past me in order to get to your table, that she should have removed your name from by the way, what’s in it for me? Y/N is an amazing person and you hurt her.”

“And I’m trying to make this right and I’m going to need you to move in order for me to be able to do that.” He told her as he pulled out two crisp 100 dollar bills and she analyzed them for a second.

“Don’t act like you don’t want it. This is what’s in it for you if you let me see her.” He said as he made a move to grab it, but he quickly moved his hand until she agreed.

“Y/N is going to kill me, but fine. Come on.” She told him as she led him to his table.

Once he reached the balcony, it was a clear crisp night where you could see all of the stars in the sky. It was just the right temperature which he was thankful for because the last thing he wanted to happen was for other people to overhear their conversation if he had been forced to stay inside. When he sat down at the table, Blanca made a motion for Joe to give her the money and she quickly snatched it out of his hand.

“I’m always loyal to Y/N, but I can be bribed once in a while. Did you want to order something? I can send a waitress over?”

“No, that’s okay. I just want to see Y/N.”

“Wait until you see her belly. Anyway, there aren’t a lot of guests at the moment so she should be able to step away. I’ll go and get her for you.” She said as she attempted to give him a weak smile making note of how defeated he looked by the entire situation.

As soon as you walked out onto the balcony, the last person that you ever expected to see was sitting at the table that was the furthest from the doorway and tried to turn around to go back into the restaurant, but he saw you and quickly ran over to you and grabbed your hand which you quickly snatched away from him.

“Wait, Y/N. I just want to talk. Just… please.”

“I’m busy.”

“But the restaurant is about to close, I figured that this would be the best time for me to come and try to talk to you.”

“Remind me when this conversation is over to ban you from my restaurant. Actually let's just include everyone who works for the Cincinnati Bengals organization past and present.”

“I… deserve that.” He told you as he glanced down at your protruding belly. Blanca wasn’t lying.

“That isn't even the tip of the iceberg of what you deserve.”

“Look you blocked me on literally everything and you not only blocked me but my friends too so this was the only way I knew I would be able to talk to you.”

“But why? Why do you want to talk to me? I'm a gold digger who was only with you for your money, remember?”

“I said some not so nice things to you and I need to apologize for them.”

“I don't want your fucking apology. I heard you loud and clear the first time and you obviously meant what you said so stand by it.”

“Y/N, please. I want to make this right so I can raise this child with you. I was an asshole and I knew the risks of you possibly getting pregnant, but I didn’t care which was not right at all. Just meet me halfway here.”

“Didn't I tell you that you were going to regret how you spoke to me? And then you said that you highly doubted it?”

“Yes and I ended up regretting it just like you said. And I told my parents about you.”

“For what? So they can harass me too? Tell me that I trapped their son? Because you know the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

“No! They're the ones who encouraged me to try to talk to you right along with Ja’Marr. They want to meet you. My mom actually lowkey threatened me if I’m being honest.”

“I don't think you actually realize how bad you hurt me. It has been years since I was that vulnerable with someone and you just let me know that you didn't care about me at all in a matter of five minutes when I originally told you.”

“I do care about you!”

“Really? Because I recall you saying something about having a baby by someone you hardly even knew. Acting as if I was a complete stranger to you and the four months that we actually did spend together didn’t matter.”

“Okay, Y/N, I'm trying to move forward but how can we do that if all you're doing is reminding me of what I said? I know I fucked up, but I'm trying to make this right.” Joe said as he was trying to keep his voice down seeing as the entrance door to the inside of the restaurant was still open.

“Or is this because you think I'll expose you to the media and say that you're a deadbeat dad? Beloved Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow is amazing on the field and always takes the opportunity to talk to his fans. However, ignores the child that he made with his ex-girlfriend off the field.” You questioned him as you glanced down at your watch to see what time it was.

“It seems like I can't win with you no matter what I try to say or do.”

“Keep in mind that we're having this conversation because of something you did. I was simply going to let you keep living your life and not bother you. I wasn’t even going to bother you for child support. But now, look who came crawling back just like I said he would?”

You were throwing punches left and right towards Joe, making his head spin. He knew before coming here that it probably wasn’t going to be the smoothest conversation, but he did not expect anything like this.

“Can we please just call a truce? I don't want to fight with you and I can imagine that it isn't good for the baby either. I will do absolutely anything that you need me to do to be able to support you through the rest of this pregnancy. You have my word on that. Have you found out if it's a boy or a girl?” He asked and you sighed as you rolled your eyes knowing that he was right.

Being stubborn and hard headed would only be able to get you so far in life. Deep down, you didn’t want to have to do this alone, but since that was the situation you were presented with, you were simply going to grin and bear it.

I was quiet for a little while until you moved to sit down at Joe's table with him sitting across from you not wanting to push his luck.

“No, Kendall is the only one that knows. And I guess you’re right about calling a truce.” You told him as you finally gave in because this conversation was going absolutely nowhere.

“I really am sorry about what I said and how I acted towards you.”

“It happened and we can’t do anything about it now. I also hope you know that I still stand by this relationship being over. Just because I forgave one thing you did doesn't mean that things can go back to being the way they were.”

“I get it and I have to respect your decision.”

“Maybe in the future, but not now.” You quietly said while Joe nodded.

Since your back was facing the doorway, Joe looked up and noticed your best friend Kendall who was a chef as well peeking her head out to look at both of you. He assumed that Blanca had told her that he was here and sent her up to be a mediator if need be.

“You two good up here?” She asked as she made her way to the table. She also sent a death glare to Joe, but that quickly went out the window once she heard your voice.

“We’re fine, no need to worry.”

“I actually had a surprise for you and now because Joe is here, it’ll make it that much better. Let me go get it.”

“What in the world are you up to?” You asked her as she shook her head indicating that she wasn’t telling you and made her way back inside of the restaurant.

Once she returned, there was a white cake with pink and blue sprinkles being held by her and she placed it down in the middle of the table between both of you.

“Kendall, what’s this? My birthday is not for another two months and you know that?” You asked and she smiled back at you.

“Well, I knew you wanted something kind of lowkey for a gender reveal and my plan was to do it after we had closed the restaurant for the night. Since you literally text me everyday to tell you what the gender is even though after you send it, you quickly backtrack and say that you don’t want to know anymore. So, the cake will let you know if it’s a boy or a girl when you cut into it.” She explained as she handed you the knife.

“I don’t know if I want to know yet!” You exclaimed and Kendall immediately shook her head.

“No, absolutely not. We are not doing this for the remainder of your pregnancy. Cut it and cut it now. You are not going to be bothering me every day about this. Besides, baby daddy wants to know, don’t you Joe?”

“Um, yeah.” He quietly answered but also not trying to cause any more tension.

You rolled your eyes as you placed the knife onto the cake and gently pushed down. Once you separated the slice from the remainder of the cake, both your eyes went wide along with Joe’s as all three of you were now staring at a pink cake.

“I’ll finally be able to be the mother that someone deserves.”

One year later

You opened the door to your daughter’s room and peeked into her crib to see her wide awake and looking at you.

“Good morning, Amora. Are you excited to see daddy play in the first home game of the season? We get to sit up in the big suite with grandma and both of our grandpas and you have the cutest outfit that he bought you to wear for today.” You asked as you picked her up and cradled her to your chest.

All you got was a series of spit bubbles and a smile in response.

“I’m going to take that as a yes seeing as soon as I said daddy I got a smile.” You told her as you tickled her small belly now making a laugh escape.

You were caught off guard as you felt arms wrap around you from behind and Joe leaned to the side to be able to kiss your cheek.

“Good morning baby doll.” He told you as he held out his hands to take Amora from you.

“I didn’t even hear you come in. How long have you been awake?” You asked and he shrugged.

“Not long, maybe fifteen minutes.” He replied and you nodded as you went to get her outfit out of her dresser and begin to pack her diaper bag.

“And good morning my princess.” He told her as he kissed both of her cheeks.

“You get prettier every day just like your mom.”

“Stop trying to butter me up, Burrow.” You told him while laughing and getting more diapers from the bottom drawer of her changing table.

“Not buttering you up, just telling the truth. I mean look how gorgeous this kid is. We should make another one.” He replied as he began to play with her.

Hearing this, you stopped what you were doing and looked at him in disbelief as Joe smirked.

“She is literally only four months old, slow your roll.” Your body was nowhere near healed from giving birth to Amora and the thought of having another one so soon was the furthest from your mind.

“Nothing wrong with planning for the future.” He replied as he was now holding Amora with one arm and turned your face with his other hand to face him as he leaned down to kiss you.

“Fine, but I have terms and conditions.”

“Name them and it’ll be done.”

“A ring needs to be on my finger before I even consider having another one.” You told him and a smile instantly broke out across his face as he leaned down to kiss you once more.

“Is that it? But, who’s to say that I don’t already have it?”

[ennabear]

heyyy i need loser sevika hc or literally anything do wtv you want im obsessed and i needdds

HEHEHEYAYYYYY i’m glad my loser!sevika thought was well received because i’ve had her on the brain recently… here are some general headcanons, but lemme know if y’all want more or anything specific!!! nsfw at the end so 18+!!!

definitely has no awareness of her surroundings. and the fact that she’s huge makes this even better. bumping into tables at the bar— even knocking them over, running into people 24/7, stepping on and tripping over her cape to the point that the bottom is constantly muddy and shredded… yeah. but it’s so adorable to watch her stumble around!!

i think she’s one of those people who always just quietly eavesdrops. her presence can go unnoticed if she wants it to, so she just leans against a wall and listens to two people share every secret she could ever need about their current enemy. fuck, she’ll probably even take notes and leave the notepad full of info on silco’s desk.

we all know that she’s mastered the scary lady facade, but other than that i think she just… i dunno how to put this nicely… sucks at talking to people. you cannot have a normal conversation with her because she’ll just talk too fast and trip over her words, or she’ll stare at you like she’s trying to kill you the whole time. it takes patience!!! if you’re nerding out with her about mechanics or shimmer variants or something, she’ll go on forever and not let you speak. it’s not like she’s trying to be rude, it’s just that she finally trusts someone enough to talk, and boy does she have a lot to say.

when you first met she was probably this way too, just with wayyyy more blushing and stuttering. if you ever call her cute after one of her rants, she’ll actually short circuit. she’d forget everything she was talking about and stare at you with stars in her eyes and find it suddenly hard to breathe. and is it hot in here? god she’s sweating now, how strange.

i think it would be good for her to be with someone who is more extroverted and will drag her ass out of the house (which is bad for me because i’m even more of a loser than she is…) because she probably sucks at being confrontational or having fun. not that she isn’t funny, she just doesn’t prefer to tell her jokes or to engage in conversation. she calls it being reserved and you call it being shy. (you’re right and she doesn’t want to admit it.)

ok nsfw thoughts now…

strap sucker supreme!! literally her favorite thing ever. she’ll sit under your desk forever and just gag herself on it. probably cumming in her pants with how good you feel down her throat, especially if you run your hands through her hair while she does it. hell yeah!! she could die happy between your legs this way.

imagining that the brothel doesn’t exist in this loserverse (or at least she doesn’t visit it), she’s definitely a virgin when she first meets you!! poor baby would cry her eyes out the first time you fuck her, practically screaming at how good you’re making her feel. she’s never been this intimate with anyone before, never felt so good about herself and her body, and fuck you’re good at this.

she probably loves dry humping and grinding too. you can’t cuddle with her without feeling her hips slowly start to move against you under the blankets. if you tease her about being horny or needy, she’ll just bury her face in your neck and muffle her whimpers. but of course you’ll help her get off, she’s so hard working and deserving of it, of course. just a lil bit of teasing first!!!

hehehe playing into the humiliation side of this (well, not really, she just thinks everything she does is humiliating), imagine asking her very nicely to wear her strap in public, especially if you pick out a tight pair of jeans for her that makes it obvious. the whole time she’d be wide eyed and on edge, assuming that everybody knows, but really nobody can tell because of the way she’s refusing to move her cloak. she won’t even let you grope her or look in her general direction. but also she’s blinded by horniness, she can’t even see straight because the only thing in her mind is how she’s gonna get to fuck you when you get home.

not really nsfw but i think sex with her would also just be so fun!! she’d be giggling at herself and clumsily trying to position you both, or you’d be accidentally kicking each other the whole time in a tangle of limbs and hair and kisses. so fun… so cute… where is my loser butch… (that’s a joke lol i’m the loser butch oops)