niningtori

[niningtori]

the fact that i write fanfiction that i will never post anywhere ever bc it's even more melodramatic than what i already post on here to the point of being overkill... like i'm talking running away from marriages, mcd, mental illness etc. 😭 like grey's anatomy type of excessive drama that i would be too embarrassed to ever post

[niningtori]

YAHHH IK IK, TBH I'M SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THE 3 OF THEM tho clementine has my whole heart already hdiwbdkdbdbfb. anyway I understand why u lied to me, tbh honest we are not close (yet) but I hope everything gets better soon for ya !!! on my end, I don't think I can have much breaks and time for myself bc I have a really big exam coming next week that will determine whether I can take certain classes or not and I'm suuuuuuuper nervous about it and hoping I'll do well !! life is not giving me breaks at all tho, I got sick and studying is becoming harder than needed but I'll get over it, and after the exam I can relax a little bit more

(🪻)

clementine is my favorite so far too 🥹 thank u :,) things lowkey seemed better but it went downhill quick fast and in a hurry LMAOOO but it's okay! and awww i'm sorry you were sick :( i hope the exam goes well and you finally get to relax once it's over!

[niningtori]

pls do not answer this is it makes u uncomfy cus it's a bit personal! but i'm curious as to if your writing is puuure fiction or is some of it based on personal experiences?

i ask bc i relate to a lot of the heartbreak in your angsty fics and i remember you saying something along the lines of how you find joy making us cry LMAO

part of me is like 'i know another fellow jaded person when i see it' but also 'maybe they're just a literary genius' (well duh i mean u obvious are!!! but two things can be true at the same time u get me? 🙂‍↕️)

if you truly can relate then omg virtual broken heart club losers group hug!!! if u can't then it's a compliment bc you've touched our souls u beautiful gifted skilled individual i love u thank u for getting me through some angsty emo times 💕💗💞💖💘💞💕

omg thank u for being so sweet n considerate 🥹 and thank you for the compliments im NOT a genius but im so happy u took the time to not only read and enjoy my work but to think of this and ask me! i really like this question a lot and my answer is personal so if anyone doesn't wanna hear my business stop reading now! also this answer is super long

i think the best way to describe it is that i do relate to a lot of the heartbreak but not really the circumstances surrounding it in the sense that a lot of my fics have a third party involved but irl i've never really had to deal with that. but i find it easier to write about the feelings of inadequacy manifesting from a tangible external factor like a love rival bc most ppl can relate to that and i feel like it's easier to understand and immerse yourself in rather than my own personal beliefs ab myself and their intricacies and origins

but i have said before that i write for my fellow pushovers and doormats so i relate to pretty much every mc in my fics big time and i feel like most of my readers do too. it's part of the reason why i started writing my own fics bc while i do admire empowered characters i simply don't relate to them very much unless they've become empowered after tolerating more than what's reasonable or sometimes even fathomable to others and the lack of angst w a happy ending in the txt fandom was too much for me to bear

in most of my fics the love is unrequited which i'm sure most ppl have felt before myself included and in my experiences my feelings have always eventually become requited and the person i was pining over regrets it just like my fics LMAOOO but the difference is in my fics there's usually a nice resolution whereas in my actual life i rlly just dont care anymore and what's done is done. even so i think it's satisfying for ppl who are used to being treated like shit to move on while the other person is stuck in the same way you used to be. i once told an ex of mine that i wanted to make him feel like i felt in the past and when i dumped him n moved on he said he finally understood how i used to be which was a feeling i think everyone craves when they've been wronged

probably the fic that most closely resembles my actual experiences is "i know it's over" like i literally found a huge ass apology text from my ex after i dumped him and based beomgyu's apology to the mc on that because the sentiments were so similar. in that fic there is no resolution for the "main couple" though there was originally an alternate ending where there was but in my work those i'd consider irredeemable are redeemable because that's how i want them to be

anyway this was prob more detailed than u were asking for but i'm so happy u sent it!! im glad u find comfort in my work and i'm sending u a hug right back 🫂

[niningtori]

making myself cry with the shit that i write yet again... it's rlly never THAT serious but it's my truth so whatever

[niningtori]

opening up my taglist for this so lmk if u wanna be added (⊙_☉)

clementine | preview

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: after your explosive breakup and wordless, thorough disappearance from beomgyu's life, he's surprised to see that you've moved back to his town. when he happens to meet you again, beomgyu wants to apologize, maybe make amends for his unforgivable behavior, but he's devastated to find out that you've erased every memory of him. you don't want to remember him—or the love you once held onto so desperately—anymore. he knows that to be the case, so why is it so hard for him to feel the same way?

genre: angst, romance, potentially second chance, asshole!beomgyu to groveling! beomgyu (who saw this one coming...), inspired by eternal sunshine of the spotless mind tho i've never seen it and only know major plot points through cultural osmosis

warnings: angst, previous toxic relationship

word count: tbd

release date: really far in the future probably

notes: i received a request for this a while ago and i said i'd think about it then received an ask a couple of weeks ago saying another author was working on something based on the same movie. again, i've never seen the movie and i haven't read the author's work (or any new fanfiction rlly in the past few months cuz i haven't been in the headspace to enjoy it) so i will be making it up based off of the general concept of having memories of an ex erased. i said i'd wait to post it and i have every intention of doing so but i wrote this in a moment of inspiration and i've been posting previews so i thought i'd post this just as a teaser! it won't be out for a long time cuz i have so many wips and i don't want to be inconsiderate or invite weird, unsolicited comparisons. i just want to post previews bc i'm excited to get back into consistently writing after almost quitting 🥹

-

it’s jarring, to say the least, to see an estranged ex you used to love more than anything else in any unexpected context; but it's especially jarring for beomgyu as he watches you chatter away on your phone in the middle of the cafe he finds himself in. he catches your eye for just a second before you look away, and it's like he can't breathe. after your phone call, you smile as you type away on your screen. beomgyu gulps, because he knows that since you two made eye contact, it would be weird to just leave and pretend he didn't see you, though that's exactly what he wants to do. besides, no matter how much of a coward he is, he can't keep living with his unspoken feelings when he finally has the opportunity to express them, no matter how resolutely you might reject them. he hesitantly rises from his seat and walks over to you with unsure steps.

“hey,” he says unsteadily. you look up from your screen and give a forced smile, a far cry from the easy affection you used to give him. only him.

“uh, hey?” you reply. beomgyu worries he did the wrong thing by approaching you, especially because you seem confused that he said anything at all. you probably expected him to exit the cafe without a word, and the thought that you thought that he, who was once completely and utterly in love with you, would brush you off so easily brings a sharp pang to his chest.

“i… i know it’s been a while, but i… i want to, um, apologize for… everything.” he wants to lay down and die at his awkwardness, but he's wanted to say these words for so long, and no matter how much he’s compelled to swallow them down and safely tuck them away in the home they've carved out for themselves in his stomach, he knows this is the right thing to do. especially since you blocked him on everything before changing your number. especially since you moved away without a word after your disastrous breakup. especially since he hasn't seen you in so long, and he doesn't know if he'll ever see you again after this. your eyebrows furrow, and he braces himself for impact. but no amount of contrived mental fortitude could ever prepare him for your next words.

“... do i know you from somewhere?”

notes pt. 2: might delete this preview so be prepared for that possibility 🫰 peace and blessings :,) but please don't be mean or weird like actually

[niningtori]

Hi ily

ily2 beautiful stranger (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘)

[niningtori]

idk how to respond without sounding like I came right out from a book for learning English LOL but anyway THAT'S GREAT NEWS, I'm really looking forward to reading it !!! and I'm sooooo glad ur doing good, unfortunately I'm not that lucky bc university is killing meeeee and my whole vibe (I'm being a little bit dramatic rn) though really, I don't have any time left to do anything other than sleep or study or do housechores so I know it's going to b an interesting year 🫠

(🪻)

omg pls never feel pressured to speak a certain way ur doing great !!! and i'm happy that ur excited :,) clementine is coming along like i'm pretty much bouncing between 3 main wip's rn and it's one of them! i lowkey lied when i said i was doing well tho like ACTUALLYWNWJWKWKE but it's ok we can ride the struggle bus together! university sucks but i'm proud of u for sticking w it when it's so tough 🥹 dont forget to try to take out time for urself tho having leisure time is absolutely necessary

[niningtori]

nini my angst sister i can’t believe you’re writing a fic based on eternal sunshine 😭😭 please can i join your taglist if you have one - fay (@https-yeonjun)

FAYYYYYY MY ANGST SISTER 😭🫶 yes of course u can be added!!! <3

[niningtori]

I love eternal sunshine of the spotless mind so much as well as eternal sunshine, the album by ariana 🥺🥺 I’m ready to cry my heart out pls gimme the ANGST OF THE ANGST (and also hope u have a great day and night)

i havent watched the movie or listened to the full album 🥹😭 but my friend made me watch the eternal sunshine mv when it came out and i thought it was lovely!! i always worry that the angst i write is heavy-handed but y'all seem to like it as much as i do so i'm glad ur looking forward to it 😭 and thank u honey i hope u have a great day/night too ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ )

[niningtori]

hiieee!!! I just wanted to ask if I can be part of the taglist for our deal, u don’t have to reply to this u can jst add me right away if u want!! thx :3

hi!! i added u

[niningtori]

loveee the preview for clementine! i love a good eternal sunshine story ahaahaha. i love your angst work so much! keep it up and have a great day :)

thank u sm 🥹 i'm glad my fellow #angstlovers are rising up we will not be silenced!! have a great day honey ( ˘ ³˘)♥

[niningtori]

OMH JZKABDKDBDKDBKDNDNFJFBFJFJ god ily so much, can't believe u actually EVEN considered my suggestion I'm giggling and kicking my feet so hard this is the best day ever plsplspls take all the time u need to write, plan and all that I'll b waiting like a pretty princess so patiently for u to drop the most heart wrenching piece of art, I've never wanted anything so bad and the teaser only fed the worms in my head that love this plot and the whole idea LOL

anyway aaaaaa, this is great news and hope ur doing well 🫶🪻

ur so cute like actually i'm grinning so bad at this ily2 🥹 i worked on it today actually bc i had a moment of inspiration so i hope u like it when it comes out!!! the plot is still somewhat unclear but i've been writing scenes i want and yea... it hurts

edit: just realized i didn't answer the last part... YES i'm doing better and i hope ur doing well too <3

[niningtori]

hi!! could i pls be tagged in freudian when u release it :D

hi!! u r actually part of my permanent taglist so u will be tagged when it comes out <3

[niningtori]

hello!! I came across ‘our deal’ and became interested in it, I didn't notice that it was only a preview😔 could I pls be tagged in the taglist of ‘our deal’? dw I'm not that desperate to be tagged (I am.)

this is so sweet :,) yes of course u can be tagged <3

[niningtori]

clementine | preview

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: after your explosive breakup and wordless, thorough disappearance from beomgyu's life, he's surprised to see that you've moved back to his town. when he happens to meet you again, beomgyu wants to apologize, maybe make amends for his unforgivable behavior, but he's devastated to find out that you've erased every memory of him. you don't want to remember him—or the love you once held onto so desperately—anymore. he knows that to be the case, so why is it so hard for him to feel the same way?

genre: angst, romance, potentially second chance, asshole!beomgyu to groveling! beomgyu (who saw this one coming...), inspired by eternal sunshine of the spotless mind tho i've never seen it and only know major plot points through cultural osmosis

warnings: angst, previous toxic relationship

word count: tbd

release date: really far in the future probably

notes: i received a request for this a while ago and i said i'd think about it then received an ask a couple of weeks ago saying another author was working on something based on the same movie. again, i've never seen the movie and i haven't read the author's work (or any new fanfiction rlly in the past few months cuz i haven't been in the headspace to enjoy it) so i will be making it up based off of the general concept of having memories of an ex erased. i said i'd wait to post it and i have every intention of doing so but i wrote this in a moment of inspiration and i've been posting previews so i thought i'd post this just as a teaser! it won't be out for a long time cuz i have so many wips and i don't want to be inconsiderate or invite weird, unsolicited comparisons. i just want to post previews bc i'm excited to get back into consistently writing after almost quitting 🥹

-

it’s jarring, to say the least, to see an estranged ex you used to love more than anything else in any unexpected context; but it's especially jarring for beomgyu as he watches you chatter away on your phone in the middle of the cafe he finds himself in. he catches your eye for just a second before you look away, and it's like he can't breathe. after your phone call, you smile as you type away on your screen. beomgyu gulps, because he knows that since you two made eye contact, it would be weird to just leave and pretend he didn't see you, though that's exactly what he wants to do. besides, no matter how much of a coward he is, he can't keep living with his unspoken feelings when he finally has the opportunity to express them, no matter how resolutely you might reject them. he hesitantly rises from his seat and walks over to you with unsure steps.

“hey,” he says unsteadily. you look up from your screen and give a forced smile, a far cry from the easy affection you used to give him. only him.

“uh, hey?” you reply. beomgyu worries he did the wrong thing by approaching you, especially because you seem confused that he said anything at all. you probably expected him to exit the cafe without a word, and the thought that you thought that he, who was once completely and utterly in love with you, would brush you off so easily brings a sharp pang to his chest.

“i… i know it’s been a while, but i… i want to, um, apologize for… everything.” he wants to lay down and die at his awkwardness, but he's wanted to say these words for so long, and no matter how much he’s compelled to swallow them down and safely tuck them away in the home they've carved out for themselves in his stomach, he knows this is the right thing to do. especially since you blocked him on everything before changing your number. especially since you moved away without a word after your disastrous breakup. especially since he hasn't seen you in so long, and he doesn't know if he'll ever see you again after this. your eyebrows furrow, and he braces himself for impact. but no amount of contrived mental fortitude could ever prepare him for your next words.

“... do i know you from somewhere?”

notes pt. 2: might delete this preview so be prepared for that possibility 🫰 peace and blessings :,) but please don't be mean or weird like actually

[niningtori]

our deal | preview

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: beomgyu has it all. like, he's popular, handsome, rich, smart, funny, cool, tall, well-connected, and charming, if he's being perfectly honest. so when he finally settles down with a girl named yeji, he's utterly humiliated when she dumps him out of nowhere for another guy. in his desperation, he realizes there is only one girl on campus who has the ability to make yeji see what she's missing out on—the campus's very own resident misandrist: you.

genre: MAYBE smut (mdni) (if i feel like it but it'll be suggestive at the very least), romance, fake dating, fluff (probably rily corny but idgaf), prob a tiny bit of angst (likeeee have u even met me...), enemies to lovers kinda

warnings: some allusions to reader's vague past trauma with men but nothing specific

word count: tbd

release date: tbd

notes: probably the corniest thing i'll ever post on here but idc the girls that get it get it

-

“you’re a natural at this, you know? it’s almost like you actually like me,” he teases, and there’s a hint of hope in his words that he doesn't even realize is there.

“don’t be gross,” you hiss, but your face remains strangely pleasant as you do it. beomgyu can only hold back his disappointment so as to maintain the illusion of the loving couple you two are supposed to be, all while yeji’s stare burns into the two of you.

“c’mon, let’s pretend we’re flirting or something. act like i just said something funny.” surprisingly, you giggle. it’s a sound he’s never heard before from you, and he inexplicably wants to hear it again and again, especially in a genuine context. you lean in even closer as you whisper back, your breath warm in his ear.

“god, this is so fucking boring.”

“cry about it. we’ve got yeji right where i want her,” he says with a forced chuckle as he fights to maintain the facade, despite his annoyance.

“pig,” you retort with faux sweetness as you equally struggle to appear as enamored with him as you're supposed to be.

“crybaby.”

you two break apart as your professor comes in. you turn your attention towards her, but beomgyu can’t help but spend the duration of the class stealing glances at you, even when you pay him so little attention, he’s seemingly out of your stratosphere. when the class ends, the damage is done, and the whole class, and eventually the entire campus, is abuzz with rumors about how beomgyu is recently involved with the previously unattainable man-hater.

notes pt. 2: if u think this is corny literally close ur eyes n scroll i'm sensitive... but lmk if u wanna be tagged! also this is prob coming out after freudian

[niningtori]

respectfully my permanent taglist was getting too long so i shaved down some of it! i went through accounts and took off some names that haven't been active in a while and that i don't recall seeing lately but obviously that's just based off of my memory so if you were removed and would like to be added again pls lmk!

also, please make sure an age indicator is on your profile if you want to be added to any adult works.

and last thing, please make sure your tag options are open!

thank u (｡-_-｡)

psa: i'm getting my shit together

hi friends! as you all know, i have several taglists going right now. two permanent (sfw only) and (sfw/[n]sfw), and taglists for specific upcoming works. i will list who i have for each down below. i've genuinely lost track of who wants what, so i'm going to ask that if you don't see your @ below and would like to be added to any of them or would like to make any changes (including being removed) to the existing list(s), please send me an ask or comment so i can get everything sorted. if you are a minor or ageless blog, please do not ask to be added to any nsfw works. thank u friends ´･ᴗ･`

｡o.ﾟ｡*･♡♡･*｡ﾟo｡｡o.ﾟ｡*･♡♡･*｡ﾟo｡｡o.ﾟ｡*･♡♡･*｡ﾟo｡

permanent (sfw only): @/defnotleee @/yaoizee @ tubatukimoa

permanent (sfw/[n]sfw): @/lonelybutterflytae @/sooberryworld @/hyueika @/boba-beom @/vicurious28 @/lickingan0rchid @/katsukis1wife @/notevenheretbh1 @/that1sadgrl @/archoive @/paegesoobin @/buttercreamerie @/serenityism00 @/fairfootedflekk @/definitelynotherr @/hyunj00 @/taehyunluvrs @/m00gyu @/denleave1088 @ hwanghyunjinismybae @/todorokiskitten @/choikanghuening @/naoristerling

dark red: @/plumgyu @/beomieboi @/vixensss @/aaaa-nnn @/strwbrryjaem @/baekberrie

no lie: @/aduh0308 @/tyongluvs @/bgomtori @/soohashits @/vixensss @/thispersonlovesbeomgu

freudian: @ soobsfairy444 @ bambammtori @ ewsnup @ younbeanz @ weyukinluv @ wildernessuntothemselves