#but i do not think u have done anything wrong and im not lumping u in with these people

[dandyshucks]

okay its going under a readmore bc its messy and a lot, i'll try to keep it succinct though. CW for some discussion of the ongoing g.enocide and things around that topic

so one of the friends is someone I've really respected and admired because they're a very intelligent well-spoken and kind-hearted individual. i've really been impressed with how they think about things and with their ability to write really fantastic essays (that they often share with this friend group because they're in school and enjoy sharing their work with us because a lot of us are interested in the things they write about). about a year ago, this person went through the process of converting to j.udaism and we were all very excited (and continue to be happy) for them. they've been really happy with the process and the community they've found and it's been really good for them.

however! this person has since stated they are a z.ionist! and they've said that it just means that j.ewish people should live in i.srael, it doesn't mean they support the i.df or what is happening in p.alestine currently. but I'm just... baffled at how they can think that non-p.alestinians occupying the country could EVER be done peacefully. it has ALWAYS been colonization. it was never going to be done in a peaceful manner.

do j.ewish people deserve a safe place to exist? absolutely! but I do not think, ESPECIALLY now, that that safe place can ever be located in p.alestine. I'm not the most educated or well-read individual, I've done a bit of reading over the past few months but my memory is shoddy and I consistently forget almost everything I've read, but as far as I can tell, this has been a non-peaceful occupation (...can occupation ever really be done peacefully in reality? i doubt it.) from the very beginning. p.alestinians were being kicked out of their houses from the start.

and to add onto the messiness of this all, I am the only i.ndigenous person in the entire group. I am the only one coming at this from an i.ndigenous perspective. and because of my perspective, I am ALWAYS going to be on the side of the population that first lived and existed in a place. i am always on the side of l.and back, i am always on the side of the first peoples. anything less would be essentially agreeing with colonization.

so it is just incredibly uncomfortable to be the only i.ndigenous person in this group while the rest of the group has discussed and expressed sympathy with this person for holding self-professed z.ionist beliefs (I do not believe this person has done the right reading to fully understand what they are saying, which is so strange because they are usually so good about educating themself). and I feel like if I try to say anything to argue or simply question this person, I'm going to rock the boat too much and make Everyone uncomfortable and the entire thing will blow up and fall apart around me. so my options seem to be either: a) say something, b) say nothing and stay in the group, or c) say nothing and quietly leave the group. none of which feel like good options!

and it sucks so much because there are people I genuinely do like in this group, and I've liked this one person and respected them since I met them, but they're really .... showing themself to be an unsafe person at the end of the day. I keep feeling like maybe I'm not seeing something or maybe I'm missing something, but I've looked at this from multiple angles and while I do absolutely see where they're coming from and even sympathise with some of it, I disagree with them on a fundamental level.

(also it seems really fucked up for them to be newly converted to j.udaism and endorsing what is essentially colonization and lowkey ignoring the fact that PEOPLE ARE BEING GENOCIDED RIGHT NOW so maybe we should not be discussing "but where are all the j.ewish ppl going to live :(" until the bullets and bombs stop at the very least(????????), while I've been indigenous and dealing with the consequences of attempted (and still ongoing!) genocide and colonization my entire life)

[prettyboykatsuki]

am i warm enough for you?

➳ tags ;; soulmate au, strangers to lovers, fluff and angst but mostly fluff, some-what canon compliant, bakugo katsuki is bad at feelings, lots of Feelings™, you guys are adults but the end of the fic but the fic is sfw, alcohol, drunk confessions

➳ wc ;; 5.6k..

➳ plot summary ;; you see your soulmate in dreams - sometimes in bits and pieces and other times in full. bakugo is less than inclined to admit he even has a soulmate - and you learn how to cope with it, one day at a time.

bakugo learns that this soulmate shit is no joke. that has to be why he keeps falling for you so helplessly.

➳ a/n ;; i wasn’t even gonna comeback this early but it felt so wrong not to post on my bfs birthday so alas </3 for anyone who cares to know this is @elysianseraph but with my new url. nice to see u all <3

this was originally posted on 4/20 but im reposting cause it didn’t show up in the tags dskjds

It’s hazy.

A cloud of smoke settles over your body, permeating your lung. It smells like sugar, like burning, like smoke and a little like leather. You can feel your toes curl and your hands moving but your body is separate from you in a way you can’t describe. It’s a pleasant kind of warmth that spreads, creeping up from behind your neck till it’s soft and cradling your skull. It’s soft like the touch of a mother, like wool over your ears.

It’s a pleasant feeling, that’s all. Almost cozy but there’s a fading sense of distress that chills in your lungs as you encompass it. Your hands are too small to reach forward, and truthfully the sensation is so powerful that you’re afraid to reach out. You’re 6 years old, so all you know is how it makes you feel. You can’t remember many details, but you feel pleasant. Something about it is soft, but there’s a sharp edge right at the end that has your lungs gasping for air.

It’s a flash of colors. Red. Orange. Pale Yellow. Grey. Black. Forest Green. Red. Red. Orange. Red.

And then it fades into a feeling again. A blurry feeling. You feel conflict, then concern, then inadequacy in heavy waves almost like it’s drowning you. It’s the first time you’ve experienced such a pain, so your wailing and wiping tears away with chubby fingers and saying a name you don’t know and can’t remember.

Ka. You know the sound, Ka. But you don’t know of anything more. It repeats rhythmically in your mind like a knock on the door, rapping with urgency - but it doesn’t do anything to jog your memory. Someone is trying to be let in but you don’t know how to answer them, and you’re still crying. The distress, the inadequacy shakes you and all you feel is frustration in short simple bursts.

Your first encounter with your soulmate is written this way in your memory. A sense of urgency laced with frustration - but they’re not towards you. It’s him, his feelings - you can feel them even deeper then he can. They pierce you in a way that makes it hard to breathe, no matter how you try to escape them it’s an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. The only way to escape the feelings of a dream is either to control them, or to face them and swim through the fog.

Soulmates have an urgency to them, in general. His is different, you can tell as much. Your first soulmate dream leaves the heaviest impression and each one thereafter is like pieces of a puzzle.

Sometimes you simply share random dreams, like a split screen in a video game - the two of you witness different parts of the same dreamverse. Other times, and honestly - most times, you’re experiencing their emotions or feelings. You experience their core memories, their life, in flashes and bits and pieces.

It’s not enough to know them or who they are, it’s like know everything about them except the things that matter

Sometimes you meet too. Just barely.

MEETING 1:

The room is white. When you blink, colors flash in order - red, pale yellow, orange, forest green and you know. You blink a few more times, stretching your hands out in front of yourself. Curling your hands into fist then into stretched palms, you lean forward and stretch. You wriggle your toes - notice you're wearing shoes. Clothes from your closet. Strange.

You take a look around the room but there isn't much to see. There’s a wall in front of you with a glass divider and a mirrored empty room. The room across from yours has spiky decor littered against the walls. An orange dresser, plastic grenades and play guns. You know who it is without a second warning - and a foggy part in the back of your head tells you that it’s him, again but with more force. You don’t see anything in your room, but you figure he might. All of it is confusing to you.

Before you can blink, there’s a loud thud coming from the other side of the glass. It’s a silhouette, the outline of a face - but nothing clear. Dream logic dictates you can’t know a face you’ve never seen, yet somehow you know his outline. Spiky, he’s spiky everywhere.

“Hello?,” you call out, overly tentative. The figure pauses, seems to take in whatever they must be seeing. You’re not sure what response you’re expecting, really. There’s no expectations at all.

“...Who the fuck are you?,” says a pitchy, male voice. He sounds like he’s your same age, a highschool boy. His throat is rough, yet not overly deep. It’s almost scratchy.

“Uhm,”

You’re not sure how to reply. You can see him through the glass, but not really. Still, you take note of his shadows like they’re going to tell you anything more. You shove your hands in your pockets, messing around with something inside.

“Uh.. your soulmate, I think,” you reply.

Scratching the back of your neck as an awkward silence settles, you take a few minutes to try and figure what more to say.

“We met when we were kids once too,” you explain awkwardly. He must know, has too - this soulmate thing is a two way thing, but his silence is deafening. You just want to feel this space. Is it always this awkward?

“Red. Orange. Pale Yellow. Forest Green,” you repeat, like a mantra. You hear him take in a sharp breath, and freeze. For some reason, you’d like to avoid upsetting him. He doesn’t seem like he’s taking to the information too well.

“I don’t have time for this damn bullshit… whatever quirk you’ve got to mimic this - cut it the fuck out,”

Hostile.

You pause, not sure how to feel. Half of you is offended, the other half is confused - had you done something to upset him? You can feel how he feels - but you don’t understand it. You sit with your mouth agape, like a fish out of water. Unsure of how to proceed, you scoff a little.

“Woah.. this isn’t a quirk thing. We’re.. soulmates? That’s already a thing,”

More silence. You’ve.. he doesn’t seem upset, but you can tell he’s not all that keen to the idea. It’s a bare minimum improvement that you find yourself valuing, without your consent. He breathes again, throat even more hoarse than before. His voice is angry but it doesn’t fit his responses, his feelings - so you don’t pay attention to his madness. Something is off.

“... I’m not supposed to have a soulmate. No fucking way I have a soulmate,” he grits. You step back, stumbling. You didn’t have any expectations.. but this wasn’t what you had been expecting at all. You feel uneasy, sick. It must be a shared feeling if the way he leans against a wall counts for anything.

A beat of silence passes before you open your mouth to speak.

“... I have no idea what I’m supposed to say to that,” you admit. He scoffs.

“Nothing you damn extra. Leave me the fuck alone,”

You don’t reply, too stunned. This was your soulmate? This.. asshole? Not that you were a peach entirely either, but this was supposedly the person that the universe had decided for you?

You shake your head. Maybe you’re just being rash? He could be a nice guy behind all the chaos. You try your best to hold onto that, that this was literally someone chosen for you before you gave up all hope. You sigh, cracking your neck.

“You can say whatever you want but.. we’re here, you know? It’s more productive to just go with it.. isn’t it?,”

“Go fuck yourself,”

“After meeting you, I’m not exactly over the fucking moon about it either. It is what is,”

“You’re not my fucking.. soulmate or whatever the fuck. Leave me alone,”

Your heart both aches with anger and sadness. You don’t know what to do. What does this shit-head know about you, anyway? You know he’s been through some shit, same as you - what makes him so entitled? You swallow the lump in your throat. It hurts. It pierces. Stupid soulmate bonds.

“Yeah? Alright. Fuck you too,”

You see him pace around for a longer before he disappears in a cloud of smoke. You didn’t even catch his name, and you’re not sure you wanted too. It must be morning, but at least you're away from him. It feels lonely, but it must just be you.

Your eyes flutter open but your heart is heavy with regret. You don’t know who it belongs to, but you’ve got class in an hour and not enough time to think about it. If he doesn’t want to meet you that’s fine.

It’s fine. Not like you wanted to meet your soulmate anyway.

__

You don’t have another meeting with your soulmate for months. Lately your dreams have little if anything to do with him or where he is, how he’s been. You have some of those split screen ones, where you know he’s there but neither of you acknowledge each other, even in spirit, like how you did before. When you wake up feeling angsty, you don’t know how to distinguish the feeling but you don’t try.

You wonder idly if he can feel your apathy, if he cares enough too. Maybe he also mistakes it for his own? It seems likely.

It’s a weekday where you’re getting ready for remedial classes at your school. First year advanced courses were no joke, and you find yourself regretting your choice to participate in them.

Still you get dressed anyway, put your uniform on and brush your teeth - wash your face with your eyes half open and look presentable. No one's home in the morning, the house is empty of any life but you. Food becomes a last minute priority, so you make an egg sandwich with cheese and eat it on the way to the train station.

You stare down at your feet as you step outside, music drowning out the noise of your surroundings aptly. The walk to the station is long and the ride is longer, but the streets are packed edge to edge. Musutafu is busy this time of year - the U.A. Sports Festival is taking place today and everything seems to reflect that. You barely manage to squeeze past all the strangers on the subway - clearly on their way to see it.

When you get to school, you're greeted by a mostly empty classroom with a teacher. These classes were straightforward as always, do the work you need to correct, have it approved and leave. It repeats until your finished with all the assignments and you get to be done. You give a respectful nod to your teacher before grabbing your work from your bag.

It goes on and on - occasionally, you hear an excited gasp and quiet chatter from classmates. It’s about the festival, the happenings - but you’re too caught up in completing your work that day and trying to get the fuck out of their as soon as possible.

Shit like that didn’t matter to you, anyways. It’s just a festival.

You leave around the same time the festival seems to have ended, the streets flooded with people - you miss the first station and wander towards an electronics store a block away from your highschool.

It’s the winners on TV. A guy with split hair - Shouto Todoroki, Endeavors son. A guy with a bird head, and a blonde with red eyes - muzzled to the pole.

When you see them, your heart stops. You can feel anger, an unfamiliar rage and humiliation building in your chest. It feels the word has stopped as you watch from afar, through screens. Your soulmate seems upset about something, but you wouldn’t know what.

And that blonde on TV, you wonder if you know him from somewhere.

MEETING 2:

Red.Orange. Pale Yellow. Grey. Black. Forest Green. Red. Red.

You feel him before you even know what’s happening - and it catches you completely off-guard. You haven’t had a proper soulmate dream in two years. Smoke clouds your lungs, the taste of sugar burning your tongue as you cough yourself into awareness. This time, you’re not in a room but it’s a campground. In the middle of the space is a bonfire, burning warmly. This one feels more vivid, more real.

But you know it’s not, your body feel unusually light and your hands can’t hold anything for too long. You know it’s a dream, but you sit in the chair anyway. It feels like you're floating. You feel oddly warm. Dread builds in the pit of your stomach. Even though it’s been so long since you’ve spoken to your soulmate - you can’t forget the terrible first encounter. It sticks to the roof of your mouth - a bitter memory that fills you with unexplainable, irrational resentment.

But it’s not like you hadn’t been seeing him, to an extent. You’ve seen all his memories in bits and pieces - all of them tragic and painful. This time, you see people but they come in the form of small scraps. Spiky Red. Electricity. Tape. Pink with Horns. Music. Green. So much green and red - like Christmas, you’ve called it. You’ve seen disappearances, fear, anguish - so much anguish.

In the weeks after All Might’s fall, you were in so much pain - you couldn’t stop crying for days. It’s been enough time to know what feelings were yours and which were his - and these ones felt so much like him. It went on for nearly a year - you’d almost got accustomed to it. If tears showed up to blot the ink of your lecture notes, you didn’t think twice about it. You tried to keep yourself calm, steady - in hopes you could lend your soothing to him. Even if he hated your guts, you could barely believe so much sadness could exist in one person. You didn’t know what happened but whatever it was - it must’ve been terrible. At the very least, you felt sympathy.

Sympathy was enough to get by for a long time. A neutral, level-headed sympathy that helped soothe some of your own hurt.

All that said, you were hardly expecting to see him again - especially not this soon. You don’t remember the last time you thought about him in anything other than passing - actively. It’s one thing to know what's happening - you’ve felt him passively everyday for damn near two years.

But it’s another thing to see him in front of you, force yourself to acknowledge him as your soulmate even if he insists on not doing the same.

You squirm in your chair, noticing that you’re wearing PJ’s instead of clothes. Just a hoodie and sweats, none of which fit you quite right. You pull your sleeves over your hands, fiddling with the stray strand of thread loose.

“What the fuck is this shit?,”

Your stomach drops. Unsure of what to say, you opt to say nothing at all. Just let him be, sit quietly in your dreams and mind your business. Maybe he’ll wake up soon and it’ll all be over.

You can’t see him from the corner of your vision but you can hear him shuffle. The way he touches things, noticing how they make noise but don’t feel quite right in his hands. How it feels real but doesn’t, how it is real and isn’t. Surely, he’s noticed you by now. The lingering silence makes you squirm.

“...It’s you,”

You flinch, lifting your head up slightly to meet his gaze. His expression is unreadable, but it’s different from before. In a fleeting moment, something occurs to you.

You can see him. What he looks like. Blonde with red eyes, and a sharp chin and thin waist. You know it must mean you’ve seen him before - perhaps you’d even seen each other, but for your life you can’t remember where you’ve seen his face. It’s right there, on the edge of your mind, but you’re stumped.

“Hello?,”

“Oh,” your reply comes short, strained. Your eyes flutter as you press your lips into a flat line. “Uh, hi,”

The blonde sits in the chair, slumping down. His eyes go towards the flickering flames without another word and you decide it’s best not to engage. It stays like that for a while, a beat of silence - not awkward but not comfortable, passing by without another thought. It all feels real, present - not like normal dreams. This must be the special kind of soulmate thing you find yourself feeling resentful towards.

His eyes are heavy. Relief is overwhelming him, with an iron grip and he’s worried you can feel it. If you can, you don’t say a word.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,”  he admits.

The words sound tender passing through his mouth, unmistakably so - but you don’t get your hopes up. Instead, you give him a placating laugh, leaning forward towards the fire and mirroring him.

“I didn’t think so either,”

When it falls silent, it feels comfortable. It’s not like either of you have anything to say to each other right now, with no manual on how this was supposed to go. If he even wanted to go there.

“I can.. see you,” you start. He squints.

“You couldn’t before?,”

This takes you by surprise. You shake your head.

“No..Could you? See me, I mean?,”

Bakugo feels heat rise to his skin. Oh. Huh.

“Yeah,” he replies, a sharp inhale leaving his lungs “I can see you,”

There’s something tense in the air. It’s a strange sensation - to know the deepest and most intimate parts of someone without even knowing their name proper, or where they went to school, or what they normally eat for breakfast. All that connects you are these mutual feelings, shared grief that holds you two to the title of soulmates. This odd bond.

“..d’ya still think I’m a quirk wielding villain?,” you laugh, or try too - you’re doing your best to cut the tension. He can feel your hurt all the way from your sit, so deep in his gut - it’s been haunting him for years. How many nights of sleep he’s lost knowing there are soft and helpless tears coming from these suppressed feelings. He doesn’t know how to say sorry, so he sighs and rubs the back of his neck. He’s changed a lot in two years - but not enough to be good at this.

“No, I don’t,”

“Oh,”

He smiles, just a little. It’s gentle, casts shadow on his face from the light of the fire. It’s warm, everything feels warm and better and invigorating. When you look at him and his uneasy expression - you know he feels it too.

“By the way, uhm - what’s your name? Ka.. something? Right?,”

His eyes shoot up in surprise. He nods a little.

“Katsuki Bakugo,” he replies, expectantly. You seem surprised that he wants to know yours.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” comes your reply.

“Nice to meet you,” says him, Bakugo - your soulmate.

“Nice to meet you too,”

__

Getting to know Bakugo is unusually easy. You get the feeling it wouldn’t be, in the case that you were anything but soulmates - but Bakugo has never known being this intimate with someone other than you. Despite himself, how much he hates himself - you never seem too. Even though you feel and see all the ugliest parts of him - have since he was small enough to still be innocent, you always treat him the same.

Your conversations are short, and shallow. Regardless, he’s not used to talking so much about himself. But you’re always curious, so much so Bakugo doesn’t have the heart to see your countless questions go unanswered.

You keep a little notebook of all of your encounters. You remember them by heart but write them down too, just in case you miss something. You ask about his friends - Spiky Red and Soft Green, referring to them that way even after you’ve known their names. You ask about his work - the life of a dangerous hero, and if he ever gets nervous flying through the air.

Admittedly, he’s mean to you. He teases you so frequently, he’s lost count of all the times you’ve huffed and puffed at his sarcastic remarks. Still, you never turn away from him. You stand with your foot down and your arms crossed over your chest - insistent on making him feel flustered too. And it works, somehow - because you know all too much about Bakugou and always gets him right where he’s most conscious about. You don’t have to tease him about his feelings since you know them like the palms of your hand.

But these shallow conversations always mean a little more to him that he knows how to verbalize, and half the time he doesn’t need to do that at all. You’ve learned the masterful of working around him quietly, making all the parts of that feel too big to love - something small and fragile. Somehow, you’ve made being with him, even as friends - feel like less of an impossible feat but a dream.

Katsuki Bakugo has been in love with you since he was 6 years old. There must be some feelings we cannot share with our soulmates, because he has no idea if you feel it or not. He just knows he does, somewhere deep in the cavern of his heart, he loves you.

You never cross the barrier of romance with him, though. A paralyzing fear seems to settle in your bones when you breach too close to love and intimacy - and Bakugo understands those feelings, even if he doesn’t know exactly why they’re there. It’s not something you’ve decided to tell him yet, but he feels it in the same way he feels your loneliness. You may be kind but you’re more guarded than he is, and not fearless but reckless.

But he still finds himself aching to love and be loved by you, no matter how much he hates it. The yearning still manages to swallow him, even late into the night.

MEETING 3:

It’s been a while since your last meeting with Bakugo but not long. You were 21 now, but your dream visits were frequent. When you weren't speaking or seeing him through dreams - you were watching him on TV. You’d been yet to meet with him in real life but to you, that was okay. Seeing him like this had been more than enough.

Today was different. Normally, that bonfire was always a back-drop to these little encounters but it was a field today - a filed with rolling hills and hundreds of flowers and tall grass that made you feel itchy. The sun was permanently stuck right before it set but it was so warm everywhere. When you get there, there’s a blanket on the top of one of the hills. You sit on it cautiously and watch the wind pass. Everything is tinged orange, and red - you know he’s there with you before he appears.

When he does, he seems different. You glance over at him as he stumbles towards you in a stupor, and when he does finally sit - you get a whiff of alcohol coming from his neck and mouth. It’s strong enough to make a little dizzy. Blinking owlishly, he sits crisscross besides you, staring a little at the surroundings.

“..the fuck?,” he slurs. You can’t help but break out into a laugh. He nearly falls over, body swaying so you bring his head down to your shoulder wordlessly, a furious heat running all over your skin. Even though you can’t feel him, the gesture makes you feel something in your belly.

“Why’re you so drunk?,”

“Birthday,” he mumbles. Your eyes widen in surprise. Bakugo is seemingly unfazed, eyes drooping with tiredness. He’s completely inebriated.

You feel yourself grow tender. You’d have to wake up and remember the days date. Despite all the times you’ve met, you had no clue about his birthday or how he celebrated. You feel your heart ache at the idea you’ve spent the latter half of it together, in your own way.

“Happy Birthday, Bakugo.”

“Bakugo this, Bakugo that,” he growls, a little incoherent “We’re supposed to be fucking soulmates and you still call me by that.. damn name.”

He hiccups a little as you sit there stunned. You blink.

“.. You think of us as soulmates?,”

“Are you some kind of moron?,”

You scowl, flicking his forehead with your thumb and forefinger. He makes a noise of indignance.

“Well, how would I know? When we first met, you didn’t seem enthused about it,”

Bakugo sighs tiredly.

“I was 15 and an asshole - clearly I don’t fuckin’ feel that anymore,”

You seem surprised again.

“..You don’t?,”

Instead of swearing at you, he closes his eyes and gets closer to you. The liquor runs through his system like liquid courage and he nods a little.

“Not at all,”

“What do you..”

“What do you think I mean?,” he barks a laugh. You feel your pulse under your skin, drumming against your chest like a hammer. You can’t even breathe.

You’ve had feelings for Bakugo from the second proper meeting you’d had with him. It was clear as a day that he was your soulmate for good reason, that inexplicable draw that kept your heart from ever belonging to anyone else. You tried to - tried to go on dates and see other opportunities through but he was always so one of a kind.

Yet, you’d given up all hope that it would mean anything to harbor these feelings, convinced that Bakugo simply wasn’t interested in you In doing any of this. You didn’t want to force him into something he didn’t want - so you kept your distance with hope that he’d still be in your life. It was enough, or you’d wanted it to be.

It’d be a lie to say that you hadn’t started thinking about it more and more as the days pass. What it would be like to see him, touch him and love him and be with him for real - these passive daydreams gone vivid. If he could see your dreams, he must know about them. But you didn’t know how to approach it - how to approach love at all.

That’s the thing with soulmates. You’re told that you’ll just have the answers, destiny will do the hard work but that’s far from true. Because even now, with Bakugo leaning  on your shoulder with this confession lingering in the air - you don’t know what to do.

“Stop being so nervous,” he mumbles. You stumble a little over yourself.

“Sorry,”

He chuckles.

“You really need me to say it, huh?,” he sighs. He picks himself. If he’s drunk and reckless, then fuck it - he’s gonna take it all the way. He drops his head onto your lap with a tired sigh.

“I think you’re my soulmate, you fuckin’ idiot,” he admits.

And it’s hard to say, because feelings don’t come easy for Bakugo Katsuki - but it’s the least he can do. All Bakugo Katsuki has ever known is to be lonely. It’s a loneliness that he’d forced on himself. Bottling up all the anger and sadness and swallowing it. It’s long since sunk it’s claws into him. That overwhelming, all consuming ugly feeling that lingers underneath that superiority complex.

That no one would ever, could ever love the ugliness that lingers in him. That no one who knew him for what he truly is, could care for him. Deku was the first of many disbeliefs and not much had changed.

Except for when it did. Except for when he met you - in a dream, and you were real and beautiful even at 15. That the universe hadn’t been playing some sick joke on him when he kept seeing you in his dreams, so soothing to his teenage loneliness. You were real and that was so fucking scary.

But you loved him anyway. Looked out for him when he was at his lowest - the soothing beat of your heart  in the days after All Mights end . When he cried himself into sleep and dreamed of you. God, how he dreamed of you. Not especially romantic dreams, but dreams of how you made breakfast. How you watched cartoons on Sunday and read manga in your classes instead of the assigned work. How you fell asleep on the train station and always ate icecream after big tests. How you were especially mundane and how he got to be apart of that everyday routine.

After all, you see dreams of each other, but Bakugo has no clue what your dreams of him look like. His have always looked like you though.

When he was worthless and empty and unable to give you anything meaningful, to apologize or put his pride away - you had loved him anyway. Felt for him with clumsy hands and held on, not letting go. Even when he was begging for you to leave him alone, in fear of this all being nothing more than a cruel dream - you held on tightly to him. With your silly notebook questions and dumb names.

Bakugo Katsuki has never known what it means to love someone who isn’t you. Even if you found someone else and there was someone better than you for him, he would grit his teeth and bear it. He wonders if he’ll ever believe he deserves you. He wants to believe you’re his soulmate - to believe you wont ever leave. To believe that he did something right enough that the universe could give him someone like you.

And he wishes he could say all this, but he can’t - he just closes his eyes and hopes you can feel it.

“You’re so mean,”

“Isn’t that why you like me?,” he grins.

And you can feel his sincerity. He should feels yours too.

“I love you, actually,”

He gasps, a sharp breath that stabs his lungs. He feels sober from the confession.

His voice is gravelly when he speaks.

“Yeah, shit - me too,”

__

Your heart beats rapidly in your chest. The address is correct, it has to be with the way this place looks. Only a hero could live here, with the floors that lead up to skies. He lives on 3rd floor, so you swallow your fear. You give yourself a thumbs up in the glass window pane of the building before entering through the doors.

When you get there, a box sits. You press the button next to his place, bouncing on the balls of your feet until you answer.

“Hello?,”

His voice feels different in real life. You  cough.

“Uh, hi,” you greet awkwardly “I’m here,”

“Oh,” he says. You hear something buzz and then him again. “Come on up,”

And you do. The elevator ride feels like it stretches mild, classic piano echoing against the empty walls. You feel yourself feel sick but you’re not sure it’s from the movement. All you can do is fidget and wait.

When the doors open, you peak your head out into the hallway. He’s the first one on the left, just as promised. You can see a welcome mat - forest green, and something in you knows that it’s the right one.

You step up and knock, three times precisely. Your heart is all the way in your ears and everything in you is filled with unease and excitement.

When the door swings open, the world stops. You gape like a fish out of water in disbelief. He’s tall and big like he promised he’d be, but you’re unprepared. His chin is scruffy, eyes full of sleep. Strong chest and arms that seem to crowd your vision, you don’t know what do.

His expression is full to the brim with feelings you’ve never seen. He steps aside with his head ducked down.

“Come in,”

“Ah.. right,”

You take your shoes off and place them in the slippers meant for you - they fit you just right, and it can’t be a coincidence. Your heart swells up a little as you take your coat off, hanging it on the rack. You can feel his eyes as they linger on your silhouette.

“So -,”

Before you can get a word out, you feel strong arms wrapped around your waist. His scruff brushes against the skin of your neck as he holds you tightly too him. The warmth of his breath lingers on your neck - and he hiccups, a sob stored in his rib cages let out with a howl. The tears blur your vision too. You can feel his drip onto your shoulder as you snivel into his neck. Your legs feel weak, but he holds you up at the door - the only thing keeping you standing.

You cling around him tightly, your nails digging into the meat of his shoulders. It’s him, your soulmate, Katsuki Bakugo. He’s real and holding you - and he smells like leather and sugar and a fireplace. He’s warm and strong and overwhelming and your crying into his shoulder with so much feeling you don’t know what to do. You hit him weakly, unsure of what do with yourself and he laughs.

“Damn you, shitty woman - makin’ me fucking cry,” but his voice is strained. It’s like something connected, how you feel each other so intimately in that moment. Not only because you’re soulmates, but because you love each other so deeply. Your heart feels heavy.

When you pull away, you manage to give him a warbly smile.

Your hands cradle his face - so handsome and wonderful. You lean forward, emboldened, and peck him. He melts into your touch like he’d been waiting for this moment his whole life. It makes you grin.

Maybe you don’t realize that he had.

He’d been waiting for you all this time.

[bokutobaes]

inarizaki boys when you have a bad day

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆-with: atsumu, suna, kita

☆-!warnings!: swearing, parental issues, parents fighting, (there’s nothing physically violent), illness like the flu

☆-a/n: yall these are longgg LOL sorry

☆- author: lu <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ atsumu:

-his baby had a bad day :((

-just kidding he didn’t notice at first I’m so sorry nzjsjjsj

-your lockers are nearby so he’s usually waiting for you there first thing in the morning

-you woke up today with a headache and you were just really tired from studying last night :/

-you wanted to suck it up because it was your own fault for leaving the studying until the night before the test you had

-anyways, you were walking up to your locker lowkey trying to avoid eye contact with him

-“hi tsumu :)” u fricken liar with that fake smile

-“morning babe!” atsumu pulled u in for a back hug “i have to get to class kinda early for a test review so i’ll see you at lunch”

-and with that he was pecking your cheek and leaving

-“okay.. kind of good” you thought.. you didn’t wanna worry him or anything so you headed to you first class, math

-hell literally broke loose.. you forgot your pencil case and had to ask like 4 people until you got one which was embarrassing

-AND THEN the teacher called on you for an answer that you didn’t know like the universe

was against you or something

-“uhh... ummm i don’t know..” headass😩

-the class after that was slightly less dehumanizing but it was also japanese class.. the class you had a test in that you just barely studied for

-you did the test and lost braincells, blood sweat and tears LOL

-“okay class these will be graded by lunchtime so please come by to collect your scores before your next class”

-ogey :/ anyways u went to ur next class and before u knew it, it was lunch time.

-a text from atsumu made your phone vibrate while on your way to get your test scores

-“hey babe im actually gonna eat lunch with samu we’re practicing a bit at lunch”

-oh :) ok :) that’s fine :) not like u :) desperately:) need a hug :) right now :)

-“oh okay babe” you text back

-whatever u don’t need him independent queen

-that’s your mindset.. until you get those test scores

-it’s a literal fail .. did not pass the test.. ok..

-“y/n san, these test scores were not your usual best. I’m slightly disappointed, if there’s anything going on please let me know”

-“thank you sensei. i’ll do better next time.

-at this point you were just tying not to cry so you took your test and shouldered your bag and walked to a bench outside for some fresh air.

-right.. you didn’t bring lunch today

-so now you were hungry, tired, defeated, disappointed and lonely :,(

-the last class of your day went by quickly probably because you were zoned out the whole time

-the end of the day came and you were at your locker when your guardian texted you

-“Y/n, you had that test today right? I’m expecting to see the grade when your back home. Didn’t have time to make food tonight so find something to eat on your way home.”

-oh that test ? lol hahaha the one that you failed?! yeah that one haha lol lollll

-so with that, you started your walk home

-“y/n!!”

-fuck. atsumu.

-if you saw him now you knew you wouldn’t be able to hold in your tears and you really didn’t want to cry

-so your solution? pretend you didn’t hear him and walk faster lmfaokdhdh

-but atsumu, being.. well atsumu, decided to just full speed sprint towards you to put his shoulder around you

-“i literally know you heard me. i missed you today sorry about lun- why are you crying ?!!?”

-“bad day” you choked out before a shuddering gasp wracked your chest

-atsumu didn’t say anything he just wrapped you in a tight hug, petting you hair while you cried into his chest

-“its okay babe.. “ :(

-“you wanna come over? we can get food and cuddle”

-you nodded your head taking a shaky breath

-his hand reached out and wiped your tears, brushed your hair behind your ear and kissed your forehead like it was natural to him.

-and so you walked together hand in hand to atsumu’s house where you ate samu’s leftover onigiri and vented to atsumu about the day while you cuddled

-he also gave you a hoodie :,)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ suna:

-“living is a chore :|” you thought as the alarm rang through your room ruining your peaceful sleep

-it was raining outside and your mind went back to last night, the screaming match your parents had

-normally you’d be used to it but it felt like they were starting to take the anger they had for each other out on you now

-you tried not to but you started thinking about all the things your mom had yelled to you through the closed door of your bedroom

-“your just like your father. you’re selfish, lazy and all you do is run around with that little boyfriend of yours! what about your family?! you think your better then us? why don’t you move out then since your so good at being independent?!”

-everything she said was always completely blown out of proportion, she lied all the time. it’s exhausting for you

-you started getting ready for school, you wanted to see suna and your friends and laugh and just forget last night even happened

-when you got to school suna was there at your locker scrolling lazily through his phone

-you smiled, genuinely as he looked up and greeted you with a smirk

-“nice hair.”

-“wha-“ you started and then smacked his arm when you realized that your baby hairs were out of sorts “shutup” you scowled

-“good morning” suna hugged you

-“good morning”

-now you were off to class, it always went by too fast, you thought. school was always done in the blink of an eye

-“what’re you doing at lunch?” your friend tapped your shoulder and whispered to you

-“mmm nothing probably why?”

-“let’s eat on the roof today! yui told me there’s gonna be a rainbow cuz it stopped raining.”

-“okay” you smiled

-now at lunch with your friends you ate the bento you had packed before. the rainbow was there and it was beautiful

-you were having fun just laughing with your friends and texting suna while he sent terrible photos of atsumu. things were good, you had forgotten about your mom

-until the end of the day came and you had to go back home

-as usual suna was at his locker waiting so that you could walk home together

-after crossing the street you and suna were at a bike path, trees surrounding the fences

-it was a comfortable silence until...

-“what’s wrong?”

-suna asking took you by surprise, you didn’t think you were acting any different. were you?

-“what are you talking about”

-“you look sad, you did this morning too but then you were fine the rest of the day so I didn’t say anything. but, you look sad again now”

-“oh..”

-so suna just saw right through you

-“ um.. i’m okay.. it’s just ..” you laughed dryly “i don’t really want to go home”

-“did something happen?”

-“yeah.. my parents were fighting, it turned into this whole thing.” you felt a lump in your throat start to form “i don’t really wanna talk about it”

-“okay. you should just come over then, right?”

-“can i?”

-“you literally don’t even have to ask me anymore y/n” suna grabbed your hand and led the way

-when you got there suna hopped on his couch and started putting on something from netflix

-“my parents aren’t home, my sister has a dance thing today” he grabbed a blanket and you sat down, putting your head in his lap

-suna put on a comedy show, of course he would

-he played with your hair while you watched and after an episode or two, he asked

-“do you want to talk about it now?”

-and so you did, you told him what happened last night and what your mom said. your plan was to not cry but that failed miserably

-suna listened intently, he told you the truth, he said that what she said wasn’t true, he told you you could sleepover whenever you needed to.

-kissed you and wrapped you back in the blanket

-“i love you, you know that right? always.”

-he always knew what to say and you loved him for that

-“i love you too, suna”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ kita:

-kita knew, first thing he noticed when he saw you that you weren’t okay

-you woke up with a terrible headache, aching body and stomachache

-so this is it? this is hell? ok.

-but the test.. you had a test today. fortunately you had actually studied for weeks because you knew it was important

-mentally? you were ready for that test. physically? you had the spanish influenza

-so you weighed the options and decided you would go to school, take the test and then come back home after.

-the problem with that was that kita would in fact lecture you on all the reasons you should not have come to school

-he was right of course, but you still decided that you would need to avoid him for today

-spoiler alert it did not work

-your test was your third class of the day so you only had to get through 2 classes and you’d leave at lunch perfectly avoiding kita

-this was what you thought while you were at your locker until you closed it and walked directly into kitas chest

-“wow”

-“good morning y/n-chan”

-“morning kita! i have to go or I’ll be late!”

-you ran😭 and you almost got away too but kita grabbed your arm and pulled you to one side of the hallway

-he felt your forehead and both cheeks

-“you have a fever y/n”

-“no I don’t I’m just hot from walking to school”

-he said 😐

-you signed and rested your head on his chest letting your arms dangle

-“why did you come? you look sick”

-“thanks. I have a test.”

-“how do you feel?”

-you told him your symptoms but also that you were leaving right after the test and you could pull through

-he really didn’t want you to overwork yourself but he knew you were set on taking the test

-so he let you go and he made you promise to text him between classes and let him know if you felt any worse

-and off you went

-honestly, you were fine up until halfway through your second class.. then you started feeling really cold and tired even kind of nauseous

-then in the third class your test was put onto your desk and before you knew it your teacher was saying “begin”

-okay. you can do this you thought to yourself. the test was easy enough with how much you studied, you thought about every answer and you tried to finish quick

-but then it was like time cut itself in half and the bell for lunch was ringing

-you weren’t even done the test yet

-“y/n you can stay in here until your done but i expect you to have it finished soon”

-one question left

-you don’t even remember what you ended up putting before you were up and giving the paper to your teacher

-kita was right there when you left the classroom

-“hey ..hey.. y/n”

-you could barely hear him you just flopped into his arms

-“okay I’m taking you home.. “

-“but..”

-“shh let’s go”

-you don’t remember getting there but then you were in your bed smothered in pillows and blankets

-kita came in

-“what time is it?”

-he looked at his phone “half past 4”

-“4?!” you jolted up “did you even go back to school?” “kita?!”

-he smiled at you “no but it’s okay y/n it was only one day. i wanted to take care of you

-you noticed he had a steaming cup of something in his hands

-“what’s that” you asked

-“its tea, but it’s special tea :)”

-“what do you mean” you laughed

-“my grandma showed me how to make it, it’s gonna make you feel a lot better”

-he’s so cute...

-“kita... you didn’t have to do all this”

-“i wanted to” he sits beside you and hands you the tea

-literally tasted like heaven

-“mmmmm oh my god”

-kita laughed and kissed you on the cheek before joining you in the bed

-you cuddled and watched movies on your laptop until you fell asleep, comfortable in your boyfriends arms

[yongtxt]

hundred [johnny]

word count: 4.5k words

characters: boxer!johnny x doctor!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: blood/wound/stitches mentions, johnny hates hospitals but he likes the pretty doctor, [im not a doctor nor a boxer pls dont say that i have info wrong because I Know]

author’s note: i know this isnt long to some of u but to me it is and i havent written this much for so long im so proud of myself for finishing this:( it isnt that good but this is the first long fic ive written in a while and shhsdjk also i needed to get this out of my system ive thought about this au since that jcc came out where johnny and hyuck was doing muay thai plssss (i couldnt find a better gif tho) ok this is getting too long / feedback is appreciated tysm

Johnny Suh hated hospitals with a burning passion.

It wasn't from a past trauma nor was he afraid of it, it wasn't that serious. He wasn't exactly sure what the cause of it really was. If he had to make a guess, it was probably from the accumulation of the little things, the insignificant factors people would usually dismiss but bothered him enough that it contributed to the big hatred he built for hospitals.

Maybe it was the distinct smell of hospitals, it reeked of death and old people. Maybe it was the atmosphere of the fluorescent-lit hallways, always gloomy and heavy. Maybe it was also the fact that the fees were so expensive and yet the food they provide tasted horrible, even the coffee was a hit or miss. The only upside he could think of was people get better in hospitals, but even that wasn't assured.

Despite how much Johnny despised hospitals, he always finds himself coming back. If he wanted to get better, he had no choice but to go. He would endure the gruesome process over and over again whether it be to treat his wounds or to stitch his cuts.

With his jaw littered with small bruises and his lips busted at the corner, he sat impatiently on the hospital bed as he waited for his doctor. He was fiddling with his fingers, knuckles bruised the same way his face was. He looked beaten up, he always did.

The clothes he wore contradicted the state he was in, they were fresh and laid back. He looked like a college student from the way he dressed. A delinquent more like, if one considered his cuts and bruises. Before heading to the hospital, he always makes it a point to shower and make himself appear presentable to the public. Although no one really bothers to take notice of his effort, only him.

The sliding door opened and Johnny's attention shot up from his phone, his gaze meeting with yours. Your head popped in, peaking through the small crack you made. Your eyes lit up in recognition as it always did whenever you see him.

"Youngho-ssi?" You spoke almost as if it was a question, voice barely above a whisper to make sure you were in the correct room, about to tend the correct patient.

Johnny didn't understand why you always did that, call out his name as if this was the first time you were seeing him. At that point, you've been already acquainted with him enough due to his numerous trips to the hospital. Either way, he nods every time.

You gave him a small smile, widening the door enough so you could enter. You wore a white lab coat, a name tag pinned to your chest and a stethoscope hung around your neck. You were small, although anyone compared to him was bound to be comparatively smaller – that wasn't the point, you looked young and that never fails to astound him every time you go through the door.

You had a clipboard in your hands, scanning through what he assumed to be his condition that a nurse had written earlier after a quick checkup and disinfection of his open wound. Your lips were formed on a tight line, eyebrows furrowed. He continued to stare at you with such amusement.

"You don't have to answer my question, Youngho-ssi, but why are you always here?" You finally broke the silence, startling him in the slightest. You never bothered to ask before, always just offering smiles and small talks while you did your work; maybe his sudden regularity of coming to the hospital recently made your curiosity peaked.

He couldn't blame you. Anybody would be curious why a 24-year-old man keeps coming back to the hospital with no clear explanation.

He cleared his suddenly dry throat, he never liked saying his job. He said, "I box for a living."

"Ah, that makes sense!" Your eyes visibly glimmered, absentmindedly jotting down notes on his medical records. "My coworkers and I thought you were in a gang or something."

"I don't think I would be allowed to be here if I was." He chuckled, making you giggle as well.

"Seo Youngho, 24, minor lip laceration in need of immediate suture." You read of his data from the clipboard, almost comically. It was medical terms he was unfortunately already too familiar with, to him, it basically meant that he had a busted lip that needs to be sewed shut.

"You can just call me Johnny. Youngho sounds too formal to me." He said nonchalantly. You nodded your head to his simple request; it probably was best if you got to know him better since he frequented the hospital so much.

"Alright, Johnny. We'll start the process now, okay?"

With keen eyes, he watched you slip on a pair of surgical gloves. You grabbed a tissue from the metal tray that sat beside him and began folding it into squares. He felt his heartbeat quicken, he hated getting stitches or any form of medical treatments for that matter, but as morbid as it was, he thought of it as punishment for his recklessness in the ring.

"Isn't boxing just, I don't know, senseless violence?" You asked, tone dripping with pure innocence and unadulterated interest as you gently dabbed away the remaining dried blood the nurse failed to clean earlier.

"It's a sport, it's how I bring money to the table." He pursed his lips, ignoring the twinge of pain that surged through his nerves. He visibly relaxed when you placed a hand onto his shoulder to reassure him.

Ever since the first time you got assigned to him, the first thing he took note of was the softness of your hands. You handled him as if he was fragile glass, despite how he easily towered over you. He felt pathetic as a 24-year-old but your gentle touches would greatly help put him at ease.

"I guess. I didn't mean to be rude." You were hesitant, Johnny could tell but he was glad you didn't push on any further. He couldn't handle explaining his occupation when you were about to pierce his skin. "Okay, Johnny, now that your lip is clean and the anesthesia had seeped in, we'll start. I think you know how it goes by now."

"Make it quick, please." He nodded, squinting his eyes shut at the mere contact of a surgical pen grazing over his gaped lips. You were relieved that his cut wasn't too big, you couldn't stomach the idea of putting him in too much pain for longer.

As you picked up the tweezers and string of nylon, you couldn't help but laugh at the six-foot boxer in front of you who was clearly petrified of getting stitches, "This will be done as soon as you know it. You won't really feel it because of the anesthesia, remember? Now count to a hundred backward for me."

Once the numb feeling of nylon dragged through his lips, he swore he saw white spots flicker in his vision. His eyes immediately watered and he tried his best not to squirm under your hold, beginning to count to a hundred backward like you had instructed him to. You admitted it to him the first time you stitched him that it was a trick that you learned from your pediatrician friend. Despite it being for children, it helped to get him distracted while you focused on your job.

Minutes felt like hours, Johnny had been fighting the urge to punch something, anything, to release tension and nerves. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he took a peak and tried to take his attention away from what was currently happening on his lip. His gaze landed on your pretty eyes, how it was narrowed in focus and how your lashes perfectly framed it.

This wasn't the first time he'd observe you up close, there had been many occasions in the past that you had been too close for comfort in order to tend his wounds. It had been too many that it was almost as if he was close to memorizing your features. You were not only beautiful but you were also a smart and capable doctor.

Eventually, you finished and started to rub ointment on his sore lip — the finishing line.

"Try not to eat anything spicy or hard. You know the drill." You grinned at his suddenly pale features, ripping off your gloves as his eyes adjusted to the bright lights of the room. "You're good to go. Be careful next time."

He let out a shaky breath, clearly still winded up from the procedure, "I'll try. Thanks again, doc."

-

The punching bag felt great against Johnny's fists. There wasn't a feeling in the world that could compare to the impact of leather slamming against his skin. He could last hours mindlessly pummeling the bag if his stamina just allowed him to.

Hyunsik, Johnny's manager and personal trainer, drew away from the punching bag he held in between his arms. He let out a breath and held out a hand to motion that Johnny has done enough.

Johnny was hurting, Hyunsik could see that much. The bandages he had wrapped for the boxer's fingers were turning into a shade of red that they were all too familiar with.

Hyunsik clicked his tongue, "You should've used your gloves."

"How can I grow stronger if I keep relying on them?" Johnny rolled his eyes. His muscles needed a boost and this seemed to be the only logical way to strengthen them — a little blood never hurt anybody.

"Someday you're gonna fracture your hand and you'll be forced out of the ring. Remember that." Hyunsik huffed, his voice stern. "Take them off, I'll clean the blood off."

Johnny reluctantly did as told, unfurling the bandages wrapped around his fingers. The pain was excruciating when the fabric grazed along his tender skin, he winced at the unsightly view of his reopened wounds.

Hyunsik led him back outside of the ring to the benches where the first aid kit was. He made the boxer sit down so he could start cleaning off his wounds. It looked horrific, more so than it usually did and he had no choice but to break the news to Johnny.

"It looks really bad. You need to go get that checked in the hospital and have it sewed back." Hyunsik said, taking a wet towel and carefully dabbing it across Johnny's bloodied knuckles.

He didn't want to go to the hospital. Going to the hospital to have his wounds treated meant that Johnny would be medically required to take days off work to let his hand heal. Johnny frowned, "Don't you have an ointment or something that could help? I can't afford to lose a day of practice."

"Don't you think I know that?" Hyunsik rolled his eyes. "As your manager, I want you to be in top shape for your match next week, even if it means sacrificing a day or two for you to heal."

Johnny could only nod. He sat through Hyunsik's lecture on the changes he should make to his dietary plan and the exercises he should do during his temporary break. It infuriated him that he couldn't do anything about it but nod along.

The incoming match that was set next week would make or break his career as an underground boxer. He didn't have the option of missing it because of some measly reopened wounds. If he had to rest to get better, he had no choice but to suck it up. This was his fault anyway for pushing himself too much.

Johnny showered in the locker rooms and changed into nicer clothes that didn't reek of blood and sweat. His hands were stinging but he shook it off.

He ignored the concerned looks other boxers were giving him and begrudgingly made his way to the hospital to get himself checked in. You wouldn't be happy to see him all bloodied again, he thought.

-

Much to Johnny's surprise, it wasn't you who was assigned to him. It was a much older doctor with graying hair and a nose stuck too far up in the air. She was rude and condescending, her lack of politeness to her patients was quite appalling. If Johnny wasn't in such a bad mood, he might've complained already.

God, this day couldn't get any worse.

With a meek voice, Johnny asked where you were and at the mention of your name, his doctor gave him a narrowed look. She sneered, "She's handling much more important cases. Does she know you?"

"I think so." Johnny gulped, unsure of the answer himself.

The doctor's grip was tight and she was hasty. It was as if she was trying to speed through the process to just get it over with. Johnny wanted to cry because he was starting to get traumatized by this doctor's procedure, he didn't want to hate the hospital more than he already did.

He internally screamed for your name as he watched the doctor pull on the gloves. The sliding door harshly whipped open and there you were in all your glory, like an angel sent from above to save him from the devil incarnate who was about to pierce his skin.

You were panting and the sheen on your forehead made it obvious that you ran your way to his room. Johnny's heart leaped with glee.

"Unnie, I'll handle him." You said, unable to catch your breath as you made your way inside. "I think the ER needs you more than me."

The doctor seemed hesitant at first but you tried to convince her otherwise. She eventually agreed and left you with Johnny who had a cheesy smile on his face the entire time since you've arrived.

"So Johnny, what happened this time?" You asked, picking up the clipboard that sat next to him on the bed.

"I overdid the punching during training and it reopened some old wounds on my knuckles. It hurts like a bitch."

You pulled a face, "That's a bit intense."

He chuckled, "It's normal."

"Can I please see it?" You opened your palm so he could place his hand on yours. You observed his cuts and the scabs that were beginning to form around it, it was too deep to let it heal on its own so you made the verdict that he needed to get it sewed back together ⁠— as unfortunate as it was since he was a boxer and he needed his hands to box.

You tugged on a new pair of gloves and began the painful procedure, Johnny started counting down even without you instructing him to. You quickly got to work and stitched back his wounds with your lip in between your teeth

Johnny felt squeamish, he could never get used to the feeling of stitches. His eyes were glued shut and he mumbled numbers like it was mantra.

Once you were done, you smiled fondly at your work. You managed to get by with fewer stitches and you felt pride swell up in your chest. Johnny noticed and, as lightheaded as he was, couldn't help but smile as well.

"You're pretty good."

"At stitching?"

Johnny nodded with his cheeks flushed, he made a mental reminder to smack himself in the head later for such a crude comment. You probably thought he was an idiot now.

"I sure hope so." You chuckled, making him blush even deeper if that was even possible. "It's part of my job."

Johnny shook his head in embarrassment, his dark hair bouncing from how vigorously he did it. He mumbled, "That sounded really lame and not smooth, I'm sorry. Please forget I opened my mouth."

You could only chuckle as you apply the ointment around his knuckles. He wanted the ground to open up and just swallow him whole.

"Please let this heal completely, Johnny. Don't apply any strain on your injuries for a couple of days and refrain yourself from carrying anything heavy so that the stitches won't rip." You said, carefully placing down his hand back on his knee. You were gentle as ever, Johnny swooned. "Absolutely no punching for a while."

"I have an important match at the end of next week. Is there any way to speed up the healing process?" Johnny asked, his eyes were almost pleading at you and you blinked at him in surprise.

"Apart from what I just said, there's really nothing else you could do." You pursed your lips, watching his expression visibly deflate. "If you want to have even a sliver of a chance at winning your match, I suggest you do as I say. Your stitches won't take too long to heal, I promise."

If Hyunsik was there with him, he would've probably already scolded him but the point would be the same. He had always prioritized Johnny's health above winning.

"Okay, doc. I'll do my best." Johnny said, defeated.

"You know, I always see the aftermath of your matches and your training. I want to see you in the ring next time when you're not bloody and beaten up yet." You smiled at him and you swore that all the color that was previously drained from Johnny's face came rushing back. "If it's okay."

"Are you serious?" Johnny asked, almost dumbfounded. Did the pretty doctor he'd been crushing on for months really just asked if she could watch his match?

You nodded with the same hue of red now tainting your cheeks.

"O-Of course! It's on Saturday next week! Please come and cheer me on!" Like a little kid, he excitedly rambled on about the details about the upcoming match and you nodded with the same enthusiast as you wrapped bandages around his hands.

You weren't from his world so everything he said sounded foreign to you. The terms he said, the infamy of his opponents, the prominence of it all — you were eager to learn it if it meant seeing him this happy.

You've always known that he hated hospitals. It was clear from the way he acted during your first meeting. He was stiff and tense, the body language he exuded just screamed that he wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of there. As he visited the hospital more and more, you noticed the hatred never faltered. He only became better at hiding it from you.

To see him so relaxed and carefree within the four walls he hated with all his being, it was a breath of fresh air and the feeling you had in your chest grew stronger.

"You're good to go. I promise to see you in your match." You were jotting some last-minute details on the clipboard and you missed the way Johnny kept grinning like an idiot. "As much as I love seeing you here, I hate that you keep getting yourself injured. Keep out of trouble for me, Johnny."

You left the room without letting Johnny say another word.

Fuck, Johnny realized he hadn't asked for your number.

-

Johnny's match started in ten minutes. His heart was pounding in his ears, he almost couldn't hear what Hyunsik was shouting to him.

The underground stadium was filled to the brim with people, he felt more nervous than he did during his first boxing match. A lot was at stake for this win, he needed the belt. He was desperate for it.

"Johnny, are you listening to me?" Hyunsik raised his voice, aggressively slapping Johnny's cheeks together in his hands so he could focus on him. The boxer's mind was fleeting and it was his job to pull him back to reality now.

He hadn't seen you since last week and as much as he wanted to go back to the hospital to see you, he refused to badly hurt himself in the days that led up to the match. Johnny scanned the crowd for your face but he couldn't see it. You weren't there.

At the lack of your turnout, he failed to mask his disappointment. Hyunsik let out an aggravated groan and pulled the boxer on his feet to berate him further.

"Johnny, please for the love of all things holy, look me in the eye."

"I'm sorry. I'm okay now. I'm listening."

"Good because your match is starting soon and I need you to win this. All your hardships and sacrifices boils down to this match, you hear me?" Hyunsik bellowed, trying his best to keep his voice louder than the cries and chants of the audience. "Show them what Johnny Suh is capable of!"

Johnny nodded fervently, forcing himself into a state of serenity of peacefulness. He let out heavy breaths to even out his breathing as his team surrounded him, prepping him for what was about to come.

Hyunsik raised his hand at Johnny. He had five minutes left until his match started and he wasn't calming down.

"Can I please have some water?" Johnny asked and his medic stumbled on his feet to fetch him a bottle from the nearby cooler. He couldn't help but let out a shaky chuckle, his team seemed tenser than he was.

He downed the bottle as soon as it reached his hand. His hand was shaky. Goddammit, why was he so nervous?

At the corner of his eye, he saw Hyunsik making his way over to the barricade that separated his corner to the rest of the stadium. He arched his neck in a way that would let him take a peek what was so important that Hyunsik had to leave his side when the match was starting in a few minutes.

It seemed like Hyunsik was trying to stop a girl who was forcing her way in through the barricade. His stomach lurched at the sight of her familiar face.

As if he was acting purely on instinct, Johnny shot up from his seat and ran towards you. Hyunsik held up his arm to stop him from going any closer to you. You could've been a deranged fan, for all Hyunsik knows.

"Johnny-"

"I know her."

Hyunsik was startled at his response and started to profusely apologize to you. You looked nothing but smug and Johnny let out a breathy laugh that helped unravel the knots in his stomach. The boxer quietly motioned for him to take his leave and Hyunsik hesitantly did as told only after tapping his wrist as a sign that time was ticking.

You bowed at him apologetically, "I'm so sorry I'm late! There was this damn patient-"

"It's okay. You're here now." He cut you off, a cheesy smile on his face. You easily reciprocated it back.

"I just came down here to wish you good luck." You said with the usual confidence in your tone gone and now replaced with a sudden timidness and bashfulness. "Not like you need it or anything."

"Where are you sitting?" Johnny asked, noticing that you were struggling to keep your attention on his eyes. He peered down and realized that he didn't have a shirt on, he chuckled.

You pointed near the walls of the stadium and he strained his vision to see so far away. He pursed his lips and let out a noise of discontent. You said that it was the only seats available because you were so late.

"Why don't you sit here with them? They wouldn't mind." Johnny said, jutting his thumb over to his team who was furtively watching his interaction.

"Oh no, it's okay."

"I insist. I want you to see me win up close."

You blushed a deep shade of scarlet and Johnny grinned at his successful attempt at a flirt. Was it even a flirt or was it an ego stroke? Either way, it didn't matter because you were smiling at him. You were easing his nerves and you didn't even know.

"I got out of my shift early so I wouldn't be in the hospital later to stitch you up." You teased, softly prodding his shoulder blade.

Johnny playfully puffed out his chest, "I don't plan on getting too injured today, I wanna look cool in front of you."

"Whatever you say, Johnny."

"But I'm nervous. I'm actually really nervous today." Johnny mumbled as if he didn't want anyone else in on your conversation, gone all traces of his cockiness as his heart thudded erratically against his chest when he heard Hyunsik's call of the last minute until he has to go inside the ring.

You gingerly reached for his taped hands and gave it a gentle squeeze, "Just count back from a hundred like I always tell you to. You'll do fine."

"Wait for me after the match, okay?" And so you did.

Counting down the numbers, Johnny clambered inside the ring and the bell rang to signal the start of the match. Being in the medical field meant that you were against all forms of violence so you couldn't really watch the entirety of the match without feeling sick to your stomach. Johnny didn't care, he was just happy that you kept your promise and was cheering him on.

It was hectic and everything was happening all at once. It was loud and everybody was screaming. This wasn't your world, it was Johnny's and your heart fluttered at the thought that he was willing to let you in it.

Eventually, the match ended in Johnny's favor and the next thing you knew, you were being hoisted up in the air. You had the biggest smile on your face, similar to Johnny's who now had a shiny belt slung over his shoulder. All his hard work and all his trips to the hospital paid off.

"Congrats on your win!" You exclaimed, placing your palms on his chest to steady yourself.

"I wanted you to see me get the belt." He admittedly sheepishly, reaching out to hold your wrists in his bruised hands.

"Aren't you hurt in any way? We can drop by the hospital if you want." You asked, checking to see if he had any major injuries but true to his word, Johnny was inflicted little to no injuries during the match, exclude the few bruises on his jaw and a busted lip

"Actually, I'd rather we get some coffee instead." Johnny said, the small smile on his lips making you chuckle.

"I'm sorry, I don't date my patients." You smirked at Johnny's crestfallen expression, softly shoving his side to make it known that you were only joking.

Johnny pulled a face, releasing a breath he didn't realize he was holding once he realized your joke. He played along, "I think you can make me an exception, I don't usually invite people to my matches."

"So this is about getting even, huh?" You were teasing him and now your faces were merely inches apart but before Johnny could even think of leaning in, you spun around and grabbed his hand once more. "C'mon then, my treat!"

Johnny let out a laugh. A boxer and a doctor, who would've thought?

[writemywaytoyourheart]

BTS Reaction: Proposing To You During A Concert

Requested: yar^ ily too sweetie thank u! this is so late sorry ;-;

Genre: fluff

Warnings: nooone!

Enjoy!

============================

KIM SEOKJIN:

kith kith kith gimme da kith

Another song ends and you clap loudly along with the rest of the stadium from your seat on the side of the stage. You see Jungkook nudging your boyfriend and look at them curiously.

What are they doing?

Jin whispers something in Jungkook’s ear and they both crack up. You smile at their silly antics and shake your head. The next song starts, and you see Jin keep looking at you. At one point you make a silly face at him and point to the audience to tell him to focus. Jin just chuckles and keeps stealing glances at you throughout the song. 

When it ends, Taehyung and Jimin walk over to Jin and he says something to them before walking to the side stage. You’re watching him in confusion, wondering why he’s suddenly leaving the stage. Maybe he isn’t feeling well?

You’re about to ask him when he takes your hand and starts pulling you with him. Your heart stops and you try to resist him.

“Jin! W-what are you doing??” You ask him frantically.

He just laughs and tugs you harder, “Just trust me, princess. Come on.”

You reluctantly give in and follow him onto the stage. Army has already known about you for a long while, so that isn’t what you’re worried about. You just don’t understand what’s going on.

Once your boyfriend has you in the middle of the stage, a staff member brings out a stool and he has you sit on it. You do and look at the other members who are watching you with wide grins. Jin kneels in front of the stool and you feel your heart stop in your chest as he holds out a little black velvet box.

“Y/n.” He says gently, keeping your gaze. You nod breathlessly and he clears his throat.

“I can’t begin to explain how dear you are to me and how much I love you. You make me smile when I’ve had the worst day, you let me cry when I need to, you bring out the best of me every single day. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done. But I can promise you that I will love, cherish, and protect you until the end of our days, if you’ll have me.”

You wipe your tears and swallow the lump in your throat. “I- I would love to marry you, Jin. Yes, a thousand times yes.” You cry as he puts the ring on your finger and stands up to hug you. Then, a bunch of flowers rain down from somewhere up above and you gasp at how colorful and gorgeous they are. The flowers cover the stage as everyone claps and Jin pulls you into a kiss.

“I can’t wait to marry you, princess.”

MIN YOONGI:

ahaha pls luv me

The boys all stand in a line, wiping the sweat from their faces and necks as each one takes a turn saying something to Army.

Yoongi has purposefully put himself at the end, and the rest of the boys bounce with excitement as it gets closer and closer to his turn. They all know exactly what’s coming.

Finally, Yoongi brings the mic up to his lips and waves, “Hi Army!!” The crowd screams and a cute smile breaks out on his face. You smile brightly from the side of the stage, watching him cutely looking at all the faces he can see. “Are you having fun tonight?” Another cheer from Army and Yoongi laughs.

After he finishes his little speech, he takes everyone but the other members by surprise. “There’s one more thing I’d like to say.” The whole stadium becomes so quiet you could hear a pin drop. You watch him curiously, not remembering him saying anything to you.

“You all know that I’ve been dating for a few years now.” Loud cheers ensue and he smiles. “Y/n is the most special person to me, and I love her with all my heart. She’s been with me through so much and there isn’t anyone else I’d want to spend the rest of my life with.”

Backstage, your face is red, and your eyes are watering, taken by complete surprise by this, you have no idea what to do.

“Y/n…I know you’re going to scold me later for this, but I want it to be a memory you can never forget. Come here, babe.” A few of the staff members give you a gentle shove onto the stage, the bright lights making you sweat more than you already are.

You walk over to Yoongi, seeing the other members smiling brightly at you and the hearing the crowd scream happily. Your boyfriend takes your hand and pulls you next to him.

“I hope you’re not angry.” He giggles and you shake your head, the crowd laughing. “I love you so much, Y/n. You’ve always been there for me, even in my darkest times. You know I’m the worst at putting my feelings into words, but I hope you know you mean more to me than anything in this world.” He gets on one knee and you feel your heart racing as he pulls out a little box and opens it to show a little diamond ring. “Will you do me the honor of being by my side for the rest of our lives?”

You nod your head tearfully, unable to speak. Yoongi slips the ring on your finger and stands up to pull you into a sweet kiss. The cheers from the crowd are deafening as Yoongi smiles at you, holding your hand gently. 

“I love you, Y/n.”

JUNG HOSEOK:

im sorry I just had to bc just loooook

“Don’t worry, hyung. It’s gonna be great!” Taehyung claps Hoseok on the back as the older boy nods anxiously while the make-up artist puts the last touches on him.

“It better work, or I’ll just have to die.” He mutters, then the door opens, and you come in with a big smile. “Hobi!!”

“Hey, babygirl!” Hoseok jumps out of his make-up chair and engulfs you into his embrace. “You look beautiful, love.” He says into your neck and shoulder and you grin. “Thank you, baby. Are you all ready for the concert?” He nods happily, but his hands sweat as he thinks of everything that could go wrong.

“Go get ‘em, Hobi.” You wink at him and he flushes with nerves and excitement.

You’re sitting on a couch in one of the dressing rooms, watching the concert happily. Your boyfriend kills every single song and you clap loudly, so proud of all the boys. The end of the concert is nearing as they only have one song left. The crowd cheers loudly as fireworks go off while they finish the last song. You stand up and clap and shout encouragingly at the television. Then the whole stadium goes dark, it’s almost as if everyone is waiting for something and holding their breath.

Then you hear Army start chanting something.

You listen closer and your heart stops when you hear what they’re saying.

“Y/n! Y/n! Y/n! Y/n!”

What the heck is going on? Why are they saying your name?

A staff opens the door with a smile on his face as he comes in and leads a very confused you up to the stage. He pushes you into the bright lights and you see Hobi walking towards you with a huge grin.

The crowd cheers as they see you, then they keep chanting your name.

“Y/n! Y/n!”

The second you’re in the middle of the stage, all of the Army bombs in the crowd turn to your favorite color and everyone cheers again.

Hoseok laughs at your bewildered expression that becomes even more shocked when he kneels in front of you. He has a little white box in his hands, and he looks up at you, smiling tearfully. The crowd quiets down as he starts to speak. “Army helped plan this all for you, baby.”

A tear slips down your face as you scan the crowd and look back at your boyfriend. “They love you almost as much as I do…almost.”

Laughter ripples through the crowd and you giggle, trying not to choke on your tears. “Y/n, you know how much I love you. I want to be with you forever, until we turn old and grey and even longer than that.” You snort another laugh and he smiles brightly. “You’re my everything, and I want to start a new chapter with you.”

He opens the box to show a silver ring with one diamond in the middle.

“Will you turn old and grey with me, Y/n?”

The crowd screams and you hear, “Say yes! Say yes! Say yes!” Making you giggle again as another tear escapes.

“I thought you’d never ask. Yes.” You grin and he jumps up to embrace you after slipping the ring on your finger.

“I’ll make you the happiest girl in the world, I promise.”

KIM NAMJOON:

ahahah idiots, I luv them. look at those dimples

The pulsing energy around you fills you with so much excitement that you can’t do anything but jump and scream along with all the other fans around you.  

You’ve been wanting to go to one of their concerts and be a part of the Army crowd for so long. You enjoyed watching from the side of the stage, but you always felt that nothing could compare to being with everyone else in the audience. And now, since they finally gave you permission to do it, you know you were right.

Everyone was afraid that you would be recognized in the crowd and your safety could be compromised. But you begged them, and they had to relent after you reminded them that Army knows Namjoon has been dating for a few years, but no one has ever seen your face.

Now you couldn’t be happier, the beautiful voices of Army in the crowd were nothing compared to backstage. You loved the view you got of the boys being able to see them from the front. The whole experience was worth the fight.

Now, as they all calm down after the last song and line up to say their last words, you see Namjoon fidgeting nervously. You frown and hope he’s feeling alright. He knows you’re watching from the crowd, maybe he’s just worried about you.

The boys all say their pieces and a few tears are shed from everyone. You wipe your eyes for the umpteenth time as it comes to Namjoon’s turn. He walks over to the bodyguard on the side of the stage and says something to him, nodding before walking back to his spot.

Namjoon talks to Army for a minute, thanking them and letting them know how much he loves them all. Then, he clears his throat nervously. He nods at the bodyguards and then he walks to the steps of the stage, descending them and moving closer to the crowd. Then, a wall of security guards makes a literal path leading to you as Namjoon walks through. You watch him in shock as he stops in front of you. Fans are screaming from all sides, but no one tries to push through the guards.

You can see your boyfriend shaking with nerves as he gets on one knee in front of you. You’re left standing there speechless as the fans start to put the puzzle pieces together and they shout happily.

“Army.” He says into his microphone, still on one knee. “I’d like you to meet Y/n. The love of my life, and the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, getting through all the tough and easy times together.” The crowd screams and you fell tears streaming down your cheeks.

“Y/n, w-will you marry me?” He stutters and you know he’s just barely holding himself together. You nod with the biggest grin on your face and help him stand as he fiddles with the red box, finally pulling out the ring. You laugh tearfully as he slips it on your finger and pulls you into a shaky hug.

“Thank you, Y/n. I love you.”

PARK JIMIN:

hug me hug me hug me

“You ready Jimin-ah?” Hoseok bumps Jimin’s shoulder as they hurry towards the stage. The intro videos are playing and they’re going to go on stage soon. Jimin is the biggest ball of nerves any of them has ever seen.

He knows you’re going to be here soon if you aren’t already and that thought alone makes him want to hurl. He isn’t sure he can do this after all.

“I- I guess so.” He mumbles, making Hoseok frown.

Taehyung comes up behind him and smacks him on the head playfully, “What do you mean, you ‘guess so’? You’ve been ready for this for months!”

“I know I just- I can’t help but be anxious.” Jimin tries to defend his nerves.

Seokjin laughs from next to them, “Get it together mochi boy, because here she is.”

Jimin’s heart leaps to his throat when he sees you waving at him from the side stage. He hurries over and pushes himself into your waiting arms. He feels better almost instantly, your sweet smell comforting him as you pet him on the head.

“Hey, baby.” He smiles at the sound of your voice.

“Hey, love. I missed you.” He murmurs into your hair.

“I missed you too. I’m here now, and we can spend more time together after the concert. Are you all ready?” He feels his heart warm at how encouraging and kind you always are. Then he nods just as they call them to get into place. He pecks you on the lips and fights the urge to bolt, “I’ll see you soon, baby girl.” He whispers then he walks on stage. Taehyung gives you a high five as he passes, and he smirks. “Very soon indeed, y/n.”

You grow confused at his comment but brush it off.

It all starts making sense that he said that when the concert is coming to a close; you have no idea what’s going on, but the staff members are urging you to go on stage. The bright lights blind you and confuse you further as you feel someone take your hand and pull you towards the center.

Everything feels like a big blur, the shouts from the crowd, the beaming lights, the other members smiling at you as Namjoon leads you to your boyfriend who’s standing there trying to look like he isn’t about to pass out.

Namjoon has you sit on a chair that’s been set up in the middle of the stage. You plunk down on it and stare at the crowd with huge eyes. Jimin walks over and you look up at him, questions swimming in your gaze. He chuckles and unfolds a piece of paper. Then he brings the mic to his lips and starts speaking a little shakily.

“Dear Y/n…”

You already feel the tears coming and he’s barely started.

“I’m writing this on the day after our second date.” Jimin coughs and keeps going. “I already know that you’re the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. I sincerely hope we’ve worked out, I believe that we have. You are an amazing, sweet, and all around wonderful girl, and I can’t wait to learn more about you each and every day.”

Jimin folds the paper back up and clears his throat again. “Y/n, I’ve known for years that I wanted to do this, and now I have no doubt in my mind. I’ve had the chance to know you and love you each day as I had hoped.”

Your tears are streaming down now.

“I-…” Jimin quickly kneels on one knee and you laugh tearfully at his anxiousness. “Y/n, will you m-marry me?” He stutters quickly. You leap to your feet and hug him as tight as you can.

“Yes, yes, yes! I love you Jimin.”

He kisses you softly as the crowd cheers.

“I can’t wait to spend my life with you by my side every minute.”

KIM TAEHYUNG:

uwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuuuuuuu!!!???

Taehyung jumps up and down excitedly backstage as he gets ready to go on. Yoongi comes up to him and chuckles, setting a hand on the younger boy’s arm.

“You ready?”

“Yes!” Tae does a quick little dance move to get out his anticipation and Yoongi laughs again, his gummy smile making an appearance. “Calm down, or you’ll give the surprise away! Y/n’s here.” Yoongi whispers to the other, who immediately stops dancing and turns to see you saying hello to all of the staff. He grins widely and makes his way over to you.

You see him and run to him, letting him swoop you up in his arms and plant a big on your lips. “Ah, my baby! You’re finally here!” He singsongs as you giggle and peck him on the cheek. “Sorry, I’m late.” You say breathlessly when he sets you down.

“Late? You’re just on time, sweetie.” He kisses you again right before one of the stage directors shouts out, “You boys are on in four!”  

He turns back to you and gives you a boxy smile. “I want you to sit somewhere else today, ok?”

You look at him in confusion and he waves a staff member over. “Just follow him and he’ll take you there, alright? I love you, I’ll see you soon babe.” He kisses you one last time, then he’s turning and hurrying to the stage.

You follow the staff member, who kindly declines answering any of your questions as he leads you to a box seat up above the stage and to the right. From there you can see the stage perfectly without the chaos of being in the actual crowd. A few of the other member’s girlfriends are there and they wave you over to sit with them.

You get settled just as the show begins. You’re having a blast watching the boys with the other girls when it all settles down and the members gather in the middle of the stage. You think you see Jungkook asking Taehyung something, Jin coming over to join in. Then they’re all turning to the giant screen that always plays the intro videos and close-ups of the members.

All the lights dim, and you see a video start, big words appearing on the screen.

To My One and Only Girl…

The other girls are excitedly holding your hands and whispering, so they must know what’s going on. Then a picture of you and Tae shows up on the huge screen. The crowd ‘awws’ as Winter Bear starts to play. You can feel the tears in your eyes as the slideshow goes through all the selfies and pictures that others took of you two since you started dating.  

You’re full on crying by the time the same staff member comes to take you downstairs. You follow him with blurry eyes, then you run onto the stage the second he tells you to. Tae holds his arms out and you run into them, hugging him tighter than ever. You barely hear the crowd’s reaction as Tae kisses your temple and pulls away.

Then he’s kneeling in front of you and pulling out a very small emerald green box. You try to wipe the tears away so you can see clearly as he smiles at you and opens it to reveal a beautiful ring.

“Y/n, I’ve loved you since the day I met you. You’re the only one for me.”

He clears his throat and continues.

“Please do me the honor of becoming my wife.”

You nod, still not trusting your voice not to fail you. He beams and puts the ring on your finger gently, then he stands and pulls you into a deep kiss.

“I can’t wait to be our own little family.”

JEON JUNGKOOK:

bitch- let me heckin love u

“You nervous?”

“Not at all.” Jungkook smirks at Jimin, who’s obviously trying to rile him up and make him sweat. The truth is, he’s already sweating and he’s fighting the urge to run his butt all the way back to Busan this instant.

But he can’t let Jimin know that.

He just needs to pretend like he isn’t doing one of the most important things in his entire life for the most important person in his life and maybe just maybe he won’t pass out on stage.

Jimin rolls his eyes and goes back to stretching. Then Seokjin comes over, followed by Hoseok as they both grin at him cheekily. “You nervous, kid?” Seokjin asks and Jungkook growls.

“No! Stop asking me that.”

They laugh and he hears Hoseok mumble, “Definitely nervous.” But he chooses to ignore them.

The rest of the boys file in, and they look like they’re about to ask Jungkook the same question, but they back off when he sends them all a look.

“Our littlest one has finally grown up.” Namjoon says proudly as he watches Jungkook finish getting his make-up done. Jungkook rolls his eyes to hide the blush creeping up his neck.

All he needs is the strength to see this through to the end, then he can let them get as emotional as they want. But until then, he wishes they would all just give him a second to breathe.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t come, because they’re being rushed out and taken to the stage before he gets the chance to do his calming breathing exercises.

It’s just you. It’s the person he loves and trusts the most in the world, he shouldn’t be so afraid.

So why is he shaking in his boots?

Jungkook sees you sitting on a chair on the side stage and hurries over to you before he needs to go on. You jump when you feel arms around you, then you turn and smile at your boyfriend. He smiles and kisses your lips softly before whispering, “Happy birthday, darling.” You giggle and whisper, “Thank you, Koo.” Then he says. “You love me, right?” You laugh again and caress his cheek with your thumb. “More than anything.” That gives him the last boost of energy he needed. Jungkook nudges his nose against yours before kissing you again.

“I’ll be back, sweetie.”

“I’ll be here!” You say cutely and he grins, then waves as he makes his way on stage.

The concert goes by smoothly, then comes what he’s been anticipating for a long time. Writing and rewriting and composing and recomposing for months on end. It’s finally here.

Namjoon signals the staff to bring a chair out and set it on the stage while Jin goes and snags your hand, dragging you to the chair. You resist at first, not knowing what’s going on. But then you let him take you, figuring he knows what’s up.

Jungkook leaves the stage and comes back a moment later with a guitar in his hand. You stay seated, curiosity seeping out of you at what’s happening. Then, Jungkook starts to sing to you.

It’s a song he made just for you, and you feel your tears slipping out until his beautiful voice comes to a stop. Army cheers loudly and you smile at him brightly. You figure it’s just a birthday present until he kneels in front of you and takes your hands. Then your heart stops.

“Y/n…I know we’re still young, but I also know what I want. And I want you. I want you for the rest of my life and longer. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that I can’t live without you, I love you.” He swallows the lump in his throat, his shaking hands finally settling down as he whispers. “Please marry me and be with me through thick and thin, forever.”

You nod and choke out, “I’ll marry you, Kook. I love you so much.”

He slips a pretty little ring onto your finger and pulls you into a kiss. “Happy birthday, sweetheart. Thank you for loving me.”

=====================

a/n: heyooo I hope y’all liked the way I did these. I know some were more extravagant and some more simple, but I did what I felt the members would do and I thought they were all sweet and beautiful <3 anyway goodnight~

[thr-333]

Mismatch- Part 22

Bio Dad Bruce Wayne Month

Hating LIla is apparently a family trait

First< Previous > Next

---------------------------

“Uh I hate this,” Chloe picks at her uniform like it's a disgusting growth.

“I think you look as nice as you always do,” Marion says cheerfully, turning around on his seat to look back at her and Kagami.

“Marion that is by far the worst you have ever insulted me,”

“It was a complement-” Marion doges her whack.

“Marinette! Hit your brother for me,” Chloe demands, standing up to try and reach him.

“It’s more gratifying if you do it yourself, trust me,” Marinette flicks through her phone, not bothering to look up, “I can pin your uniform to look more flattering if you like,”

“Nette you are the best!” Chloe hugs her from behind, awkward to be sure with the seat and all, yep that's the only reason, not Kagami's death glare that can be felt through the seat.

“Oh Marinette you can also pin mine,” Lila asks, as sweetly as acid, “Or weren't you going to offer the rest of the class?”

“No actually Lila she wasn't,” Marion sneers, ignoring Marinette trying to pull him back into the seat, “As I’ve made it quite clear none of you are our friends, so she isn’t obligated to do anything for you,”

“That’s so mean,” Lila sniffles, everyone is too busy feeling guilty to comfort her.

“Weren't you friends with MDC Lila?” Marion asks as sweetly as acid, “Why not try asking them?"

With that Marion turns back to his seat and starts scrolling through his phone, ignoring Lila's attempts at guilting. He gets a notification from Marinette.

I can speak for myself  

U can nicely tell them no- I  can tell them to fck off

That wasn't very nice

Im done with nice

Whats wrong?

Marion looks up seeing Marinette looking over him concerned, he sighs and texts back.

Nervous

Dont worry Bruce hasn't told them yet

Its going to be awkward

We’ll get through it- Pound it?

Marion looks back up, Marinette is smiling at him holding out her hand.

“Pound it,”

They pull up to the school, the grandiose of Wayne academy is nothing to sneeze at. Brick buildings, iron work, Marion has to force Marinette to put her sketchbook away. They are escorted around the campus by a student. They’ll be split up and put into a range of different classes to make the best out of their week there.

“3 o’clock,” Marinette bumps into him, Marion lets his gaze slide over, spotting Damian.

“Wasn't Lila saying on the way over here that she was great friends with him?”

“Mari don't,” Marinette hisses, tugging at his sleeve, “It’s weird enough without pulling him in to our grudge match,”

“Nothing bonds siblings more than a mutual hatred of Lila, exhibit A,” He points back and forth between them, “I’m going to do it,”

“Don't you dare-”

“Hey Damian!” Marion shouts, waving his hand for the entire hallway to turn and stare.

Damian turns around with a scowl, hardly lessening when he spots them.

“Marion, just what do you think you’re doing,” Kagami scolds, as Damian stalks over.

“Lila,” Marion smirks back, looking over to the girl who pales at an actual Wayne walking over, apparently she had actually decided to look up what they look like.

“Oh this is going to be good,” Chloe steps back, content to watch the show.

“Hey Dami,” Marion goes to sling an arm around his shoulder.

“Don’t call me Dami,” Damian sidesteps his attempt, preferring to stand closer to Marinette.

“How’s Cat-fred?” Marion smiles, getting Damian’s scowl to lessen slightly, so he smiles brighter.

“He’s doing well,”

“Good good…” Marion shuffles, no longer able to look directly at him, “How’s the family?”

Marinette gives him a sideways look that clearly says ‘you did this to yourself’.

“Why are you asking?” Damian narrows his eyes, and Marion knows he fucked up.

Nette help please!

“I wanted to know when I can come over next for a rematch,” Marinette gracefully lets him off the hook.

“Evidently sparring at the manor is at risk of interruption,” Damian notes, deep in thought, “We should plan an alternative meeting space,”

“That sounds great,” Marinette smiles, catching Damian in between their grins.

Damian just nods and walks away, Marion smiles and waves.

“You’re an idiot,” Marinette punches him in the shoulder, getting him to lower his arm.

“We’ve established that, thanks,” Marion rubs his shoulder with a pout, “However look over there,”

Lila having an aneurysm, surrounded by the class berating her with questions.

“Worth it,” Marion grins, going for a subtle fist bump.

“Agreed,” Marinette returns the gesture.

“Lila why didn’t you say hi?”

“Why didn’t he say hi?”

“He must not have seen me,” Lila’s lip quivers in a practiced motion, “Marinette was standing in front of me,”

“Or were you hiding behind Marinette?” Marion calls over, actually voluntarily walking towards the beast.

“What?! Of course I wasn't!” Lila shouts, her glare sending him a clear warning, one he was fully prepared to ignore.

“Then why didn’t you just move?” Marion asks oh so innocently.

“I didn’t want to be rude,” Lila sounds shy but her face screams murder, as people hang around to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Then you were doing it to be polite and complaining about Marinette is quite rude,” Marion has to hold back a smirk as he hears an ‘oh snap’ from his audience.

“I- you!-”

“That’s nice Lila,” Marinette interrupts, walking away like the badass she is, “How about we get to class,”

Marion goes to class, having the fortune to be lumped in with Lila. And yes he does mean fortune because while Lila is trying to brag and get the students under her thumb they are happily ignoring her, focusing instead on Marion’s tips for learning French. When Lila switches tactics saying she can speak Italian Marion switches over to fluent Italian, something he had learned from his Nona. He then breaks out his Mandarin, daring Lila to try and fake knowing a language.

Lila goes quite, just kidding you know that's not true. She starts to pull students aside whispering to them. Marion isn't sure if she is intentionally loud enough that he can hear her or if it’s just his enhanced hearing.

“He’s a bully, I know he’s just trying to act nice to get something out of you,” Lila warns a student who looks disgruntled to have basically been pulled into the corner away from the group.

“He’s a Wayne?” Ah so he’s heard the not-so rumour, “What could I possibly have that he doesn't?”

“He’s not a Wayne!” Lila snaps, before regaining her composure, “I actually know the Waynes,”

“... because they’re in your class?”

“No!” She stops her foot, “They made up that rumour! I know because I’m personal friends with all the Waynes,”

“Alright show a picture,” The guy shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets, Marion reminds himself to give them the award of ‘you’re smarter than everyone in my class, it's not much but it’s something!’.

“ What? ” Lila seethes, looking ready to tear his eyeballs out to have an excuse not to show him.

“All I’m saying is I’ve seen multiple pictures of them with the Waynes plus, I heard that they actually talked to Damian Wayne this morning!” He actually looks in awe at this fact.

“I would hardly call that a conversation,” Lila crosses her arms, looking to the side like a child.

“No you don't understand!” He employers making a wild hand gesture as if trying to show how amazing it is, “He’s the ice prince, if someone else calls his name or even tried to talk to him he would just ignore them, but he actually walked over and talked to them,”

“He saw me-”

“Look I don’t really care, this argument isn't worth having,” The guy puts up placating hands, the gesture having the exact opposite effect on Lila, “Marion seems cool, Wayne or not, so yeah,”

Marion tries not to smile as one by one Lila is shot down. Her anger rising so high Marion is sure she would have been akumatized three times over by now.

“Hey what's with Lila, she seems to have it out for you?” The first guy to talk to her whispers, turns out his name is James and was very confused when Marion gifted him a small paper trophy.

“Oh she does,” Marion shrugs, filling out the worksheet idly.

“Ok… why?” James presses, the small paper trophy sitting on his desk.

“Hmmm…” Marion leans back, tipping his seat, “It’s a paradox,”

“What is?”

“If I tell you the truth, you’ll probably think I’m lying and her accusations will seem more believable,” Marion reasons, looking up at the ceiling, “If I fake ignorance, you’ll probably just take her word for it, seems like a trap,”

“You’re taking this way too seriously,” James shakes his head, and Marion cracks a grin.

“Sorry, just happy to have some new friends,” His smile lessens, becoming melancholy, “It’s been awhile,”

“What? But you’re so,” James makes another one of his wild hand gestures,  “ Nice ,”

Marion just shrugs, but some people notice how he quickly glances over at Lila talking with someone else. Any further questions are cut off by the bell.

“Well, seems that's our cue to leave, now tell me are American school lunches really as bad as I’m led to believe?”

“You poor little french boy,” James shake his head,  “You have no idea the horrors you will face,”

“This is so much worse than I thought it would be,” Marion looks down at his tray in disgust, “This is a private school?”

“I told you so,” James shrugs, walking through the cafeteria to find a seat.

“Hold up a sec,” Marion says, spotting Damian, not talking but rather trying to ignore someone talking to him, “Dami!”

“Don’t call me Dami,” Damian pushes Marion off him this time, the person who was talking to him looks shocked that his arms aren’t broken.

He puts his tray on the table and grabs Damian's shoulders.

“I have an urgent problem,”

“Cheng-Dupain, from what I know of you that is a massive exaggeration,” Damian brushes him off again and Marion’s scared the other kid is having a heart attack, “Now stop bothering me, it can wait for later,”

“I didn’t take any pictures of Cat-fred!” Marion cries, flopping onto Damian, who doesn't bother pushing him off a third time.

“... Understandable,” Damian snatches Marion’s phone, letting Marion input the code over his shoulder, “This is an oversight on your part,”

“So you’ll send some to me?” Marion grins, using Damian’s head as an armrest as he watches him enter his number.

“Yes,” Damian passes Marion’s phone back and Marion grabs his food.

“Great, see you later!” Marion stands up, ruffling Damian's hair before leaving.

“What was that!?” He hears the other person shout as he walks away.

“What was that?!” James yells, and whoops the entire cafeteria is staring between him and Damian.

“Do you ever learn from your mistakes?” Marinette asks, materialising beside him.

“No?” Marion scoffs, putting his and on his hip, “Why would I?”

“Are you actually siblings?” James still looks in shock but at least he isn’t gaping and gasping for air anymore.

“Yes?” Of course they were siblings, they are twins? Is that not clear?

“God-fucken dammit Mari!” Marinette hisses, “That’s not what they meant!”

“Oh,” Marion says softly, totally not jumping as Damian materialises next to him.

“Cheng-Dupain, it was this absentminded nature that caused this rumour to get out of hand in the first place,”

“Yeah… you are going to have to be way more specific,” Marion looks around the whole cafeteria is still staring at them, trading whispers.

“No we are not related, that is a baseless rumour,” Damian glares at James, making him recoil.

“Right… baseless,” Marion mumbles, getting kicked in the shin by Marinette.

“Adopted then?” James foolishly asks.

“ No ,” and yep now James looks afraid for his life.

“Haha, you know you don’t have to seem so offended by that?” Marion slings his arm around Damian’s shoulder, silently rejoicing that he only gets a withered glare this time.

“Like I said,” Lila’s voice carries over the still quite cafeteria, “The Waynes were telling me how they hate that rumour, the meer idea they are connected to the twins is-”

“ Excuse me ,” Damian slams his hand down on the table, right next to Lila making her jump out of her skin,  “But who are you, and why do you think you know anything about my family and what we think,”

“I just-”

“You presume you’re of enough importance to understand my feelings towards the matter?” Damian stands tall and looks down his nose at her, “You aren’t,”

“Lila,” Alya whispers to her as Damian walks away, “I think you should just let them sort it out, it’s a family matter,”

“Who is that?” Damian demands when he gets back to them, “And how do I destroy her?”

“Don’t worry about it Damian, she's just doing it to get attention,” Marinette explains calmly.

“Lila Rossi,” Marion has other plans, “She’s a Liar, provide proof she doesn't know your family or anyone for that matter and she will be destroyed,”

Damian gives a curt nod and walks away, back to his friend who is still gaping like the rest of the room.

“ Mari ,” Marinette smacks him.

“I merely shared my wisdom,” Marion stroke his invisible beard, “What he chooses to do with it is up to him,”

“Ugh, that was a long day,” Plagg groans, curling up in the middle of his pillow.

“Plagg you slept in my bag the whole time,” Marion flops onto his bed, and it wasn't over they had to go on patrol soon.

“Which is far more disruptive than a bed,” Plagg complains, letting Marion curl up next to him, “Not comfortable at all,”

“Speaking of not being comfortable…” Marinette trails off, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Our brother insisting we aren’t related?” Marion curls around to look over at her.

“Very strange feeling,” Marinette nods, absentmindedly pulling her feet onto the bed.

“He yelled at Lila,” Marion smiles up at the ceiling.

“Does that make him an honorary Dupain-slash-Cheng?” Marinette smiles over at him.

“Yeah…” Marion’s grin drops, “... Or Dupain/Cheng/Wayne,”

“... You want to tell them?” Marinette asks in her horrible tone that reminds him of being back in Paris and trying to stifle emotions.

“I mean, yeah,” He sits up, crossing his legs, “They’re family right? I want to know them, do you?”

“He seemed upset when they called us siblings,” Marinette turns to face him, the Kwamis watching their little meeting from the outside.

“He seemed more upset with Lila, said he was insulted by it,” Marion reasons, he feels like they’re back in Paris dressed as Ladybug and Chat Noir having three in the morning conversations on rooftops.

“It’s Lila, anything she says can piss someone off,” Marinette sighs, flopping back on the bed, destroying the illusion, “Tikki what do you think?”

“This is a decision you have to make on your own Marinette,” Tikki advises sagely.

“Tiiikkkiiiiii,” Marinette whines like a three year old

“Alright, I never had a family but I have the other Kwamis,” Tikki concedes, explaining to the twins giving her all their attention, “I am separated from Nooro and Dussu, and if family feels like them I do not want you to be separated,”

“What if they get mad?” Marinette asks, fidgeting.

“Then you’ll find a way to work through it,” Tikki smiles at them, “You’re Ladybug and Chat Noir, there isn’t anything you can’t do,”

“Just do it kid!” Plagg shouts, giving up on pretending to nap, “If it turns out bad at least you know!”

“Plagg!”

“What is it Sugar Cube?” Plagg asks sweetly, getting chased out the room moments later.

“So, we doing this?” Marion asks, after all their Kwamis have left.

“I guess so,” Marinette shugs, bringing out her phone, Marion holds her hand for comfort as they wait for the phone to ring.

“Hello?” Bruce picks up on the third ring.

“Hey Bruce,” Marion says, sounding strained even to himself.

“Marinette, Marion,” Bruce answers, pleasantly surprised, “Is everything alright?”

“How do you feel about telling everyone else?” Marion cuts straight to the chase, he can’t be bothered to run.

“... are you sure?” Marion can feel Marinette tension grow at the question, “I want to but they’ll all be surprised, it might ruin your trip,”

“We got sent to the hospital the first week being here,” Marion reasons, he should technically still be on bed rest.

“... That's true,”

“So?” He prompts after a too long pause.

“When do you want to tell them?”

“Tomorrow,” Marinette speaks up for the first time.

Well I guess that's that

-----------------------------

Taglist:

@technicallyburninggarden @fusser90  @misslenamooney @superbwhispersconnoisseur @biodad-bruce-month @nalu-ismyjam @the-one-woman-army @rosesandsailboats @blackmagicforever @zeneralla @ivymala07 @tired-butterfly @tired-butterfly @Ranger-gothamite @A-star-with-a-human-name @enchanted-nerd

[fallout-snippets]

Hello it me again, I L O V E your longer reacts and ur writing is just amazing. I would die if u did the interested! companions (+Deacon) reacting to sole almost dying but barely surviving like they get knocked out or have a really bad injury and go into surgery and wake up alright (totally up to u!) And it just being real angsty and sad. Sorry if this is a lil confusing I hope you have fun with this prompt and thank u for reading anyway. 💕

(sorry if im taking too many liberties and artistic choices with the replies but i want to make them unique, also kinda lost wind at the end cause theyre kinda long)

Cait is a furious mess in the waiting room, refusing to leave until she can see Sole again. It had just been a lucky shot by a lucking fucking raider but it’s enough to turn everything upside down and Cait wishes she hadn’t had to pick up Sole and run the hell out of there and instead could give that raider the beating of a lifetime. To soothe her nerve she plans out how to track them down and imagines what she’ll do to them.

It takes a few hours of silence from the operating room until the doctor finally emerges and she’s close to wrestling the poor guy down to ask what took so long but she keeps her cool, the way Sole told her to. It seems that Sole will recover without any lasting injuries but he requests that she lets them rest which she scoffs at, and pushes back the man so she can see them.

The doctor obviously can’t convince her to leave and instead resigns to at least getting her a chair. Cait spends the rest of the night and day sitting next to Sole, sobbing into their sheets when she knows they won’t notice. She holds their hand, feels their warmth and lets that be the thing that calms her down.

Once Sole wakes up though, she won’t be so vulnerable. They’re going to get an earful from her about being so careless and she’ll make sure they know that’s not going to fucking happen again.

Curie regrets becoming a human when she’s alone in the field with a Sole that might be bleeding out infront of her. She hates how her hands shake, how sickly cold she feels and how warm their blood feels on her hands as she tries to put pressure on the wound.

Her brain switches from a logical approach to a terrified one, between what she can do and has to do and what might happen if she does it wrong and she wishes she still had a stone cold approach to an injured patient. Instead it’s Sole. She might lose them for real and she feels a lump in her throat grow.

Thankfully Sole has passed out, for better or worse, and Curie puts a cloth over their face to make them anonymous. She brings out an emergency toolkit and some stimpaks and forces a deep breath. It takes a great mental strength to force her fear away so that she can get to work but soon she focuses only on the wound. She makes sure it’s clean, nothings stuck inside and she carefully administers the stimpak inside to out, letting the cellular regeneration slowly close the wound from inside.

Once she’s done she sits down, removes the cloth from their face to wipe her hands but she can’t bring herself to move. She feels sick and nauseous, something she never thought she’d feel doing something as natural as that. When Sole wakes up she’ll force herself to come back but for now she just sits and tries not to think about her hands inside Soles abdomen with their life hanging on a thread.

Danse doesn’t notice anything wrong at first. He’s been trained to take the situation seriously and never celebrate until they’re safe home again but it’s been a while since he’s been a soldier and it’s hard not to celebrate around Sole. So he doesn’t notice that not everyone is dead.

Sole makes a remark about the awful outfit the dead man infront of them has on and Danse chuckles and turns around to relieve the other man of his ammunition. He doesn’t hear the grunts of a survivor and he doesn’t hear them approaching but he hears the crunch of a blunt object connecting with Soles scalp. It echoes for weeks afterwards.

He quickly eliminates the threat but Sole has already slumped together on the floor, blood quickly pooling beneath them and he has never been this scared before. He does what he can to… keep the pieces together and he picks them up to bring them back somewhere safe. They don’t wake up for a while.

It’s not until Sole slowly blinks their eyes open in the safety of their home that he finally allows himself to cry. He sobs through an apology, begs them to please forgive him, while they softly comb his hair with their fingers, waiting to figure out what happened.

Deacon is the king of pranking and is pleased to have finally found a worthy opponent in Sole. It can range from placing a whopee cushion under their seat to staging a lovers spat in a full bar and he is living for it. So when Sole is dramatically complaining about the burning heat he just laughs and tells them to cool off.

With a smirk they toss him their jacket and pack and dive into the waters they’ve been travelling next to and he laughs louder for the sheer drama of it. What a match made in heaven. He waits for Sole to reemerge to splash him down but they dont and instead the surface grows still. Until their body slowly floats to the surface and he prays it’s just another prank.

It could be. Sole knows how to get under his skin. But there’s red leaking into the water from their head and he takes a look into the murky water and finds it filled with large rocks hidden just below. Quickly he throws himself in to pull them out, dragging them onto the dusty road.

The cut on their head isn’t deep and won’t be lethal but they’re unconscious and he’s struggling with what to do. He vaguely remembers how to do CPR and gets started, trying not to lose his shit in the process. He ends up getting water spat in his face but Sole coughing is music to his ears. He allows himself to hold on to their shoulder for a second longer than he needs to before he forces out a laugh.

“Did you cool down?”

Hancock likes being a little reckless, it’s good for the soul. Gets you out of your comfort zone and helps you sharpen up. Plus it’s fun. So Hancock’s not exactly complaining when he takes up with Sole who isn’t afraid of a fight, on the contrary; he downright loves it.

It can range from switching from guns to a fistfight just for the hell of it or batting baseball grenades into a super mutan stronghold just because they can. So when Sole suggests a shortcut from the roof of a three story building to the bus below he doesn’t think much of it. He declines it himself, knowing he doesn’t have it in him to do it but Sole has survived much worse with barely a scratch.

Except he sees them get ready and they leap like a bird ready to take flight but instead of a thud of them landing on the roof he hears glass breaking. He hurries to the ledge and finds Sole in a pile of broken glass and blood, staring at their bloodsoaked hands in shock. Somehow they landed on the sunroof window and fell through the bus.

Suddenly he can’t breathe and he feels ants crawling all over him and he doesn’t care that it’s not even reckless, it’s just stupid, but he throws himself off the edge onto the bus as well. Luckily the wounds are only superficial and Sole recovers quickly with carefully placed stimpaks but he shakes for hours afterwards with the image of a slashed Sole below him. It could’ve been worse, it looked worse, and sometimes he can’t shake the feeling that it was worse and he’s living in a comfort high to cope with it.

MacCready has always been afraid of ferals, even before that happened. It’s knowing they used to be people that terrifies him the most, the idea that there used to be a person inside and now there’s nothing but rot. That they’re just creatures, full of rage and hunger.

Usually when there’s a group of them Sole allows him to fall back and let them deal with it, much to his relief. The sounds they make, the shuffling of their feet on their ground. Everything comes back in vivid detail and he feels sick to his stomach. But this time it’s different. Maybe there’s one too many or maybe Sole is having an off day but they overwhelm them.

He hears Sole screaming as they’re wrestled to the ground, ferals biting and scratching through their clothes to get to their skin. He barely remembers what comes next, in his mind he’s trapped back with Lucy trying to save Duncan but when he comes to again his hands are bloody and torn.

The whole thing comes flooding back and he assumes the worst, reliving his nightmare again but he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder. Sole is behind him, standing behind the couch he’s suddenly in, and they’re clearly wounded but alright. He sees bitemarks on them and fights the urge to cry but the tears come anyway. At least this time he could save Sole before they got them.

Piper knows she’s not winning any popularity contests in Diamond City but she’s surprised at how many people seem opposed to Sole specifically. On a good night they’ll be left alone, maybe swap some stories with some random passerby, but more often than not someone has to voice their opinion.

Sole is used to it by now and tries to take it in stride. Theres plenty of drunk idiots at the Dugout Inn and there’s no reason to deal with all of them. This time, however, it doesn’t seem to be enough. Sole turns around to ask them to please leave but the person in question brings out a knife and stabs them in the abdomen.

Piper can’t help but to scream and rush to catch Sole who clutches their stomach and stumbles backwards with blood gushing out from their fingers. The person quickly scatters in the crowd but Piper doesn’t care. She screams for help and luckily people may dislike Sole but not that many dislike them enough to want to see them dead and someone gets a cloth to press on the wound.

Soles spends a few weeks in bed, resting and moaning everytime they turn around in bed and everytime Piper feels a sickening guilt spill over. It could’ve been worse. A knife in your stomach is more often than not lethal. She has to pay more attention, she owes that to Sole. Piper keeps thinking what life would be like if Sole died and everytime it makes her sob into her scarf.

Preston believes in the best of people and that no one is above another. Luckily Sole believes the same. They almost feel like a reward for all the horrible things he’s had to endure and he can’t tell them enough how glad he is they’re with him.

He doesn’t want to imagine the place he’d be in if it hadn’t been for them saving him. But when Sole neglects to tend to a minor wound that ends up infected, it’s all he thinks about. What if this is it? What if the universe is taking back his one good thing, the one glowing ember in the ashes?

Preston doesn’t know how to act. Things seem to move on in the rest of the world, people take care of themselves in the settlements that Sole built, but for Preston nothing is moving. He barely breathes. He sits by their bed and wipes the feversweat from their forehead, he talks to them when they’re in such deep sleep it looks like death.

Will he sit by their grave like this too?

Gage has seen Sole do some pretty fucked up things and come out of it more or less unharmed. It seems like nothing really cuts them deep enough to make a dent which seems perfect for a troublemaker.

Who would’ve known a simple antbite would be enough to make them fall deathly ill and lie in bed for several weeks? Their leg swells up to twice its size and it turns an awful purple shade while a fever rages in their body, making him think for sure that’s that. No coming back from that one.

He doesn’t really know how to feel about it. He hasn’t really cared enough about someone else before and the way he’s feeling now he doesn’t think he ever will. Gage is more angry than anything, but not at Sole. He’s furious that something as inane as a bugbite might take them out when they’ve done so many incredible things normal humans shouldn’t be able to.

But more than that he’s angry to think he might end up alone again. As pathetic as it makes him sound, he needs them. Their comfort, their company… their laughter. He sits outside their room most of the time, unable to face them but unable to leave. All he can do is hope that the chems he’s scavenged are enough.

[their-name-is-morgan]

Ok b so like, I'm gonna try to make this sort of specific, I live for some angst and I live for Abba so like.... Imagine Abba being in one of those days where he just feels like garbage , but then his nice softie s/o visits him and cheers him up and gives him luv bc uwuwuwu. im so awkward at writing this, anyways, it's a scenario if thats ok with u b, and the s/o is a female.

AAAAH B I tried my best to make this turn out decent!! I feel like Leo is extremely OOC and there might be some mistakes here and there, but it’s late and I’m tired...so I’ll fix this in the morning! ;;

I hope you enjoy it anyway, ilysm❤

Il loro segreto

Leone Abbacchio x Fem!Reader❤

Everyone has bad days, and everyone faces them in a different way. There are people like Bruno: he would try his best to help other people overcome their struggles, and seeing their smiling face would make him feel better in an instant. There are people like Fugo: he would allow himself to have a day off, and he’d spend that day doing his favourite things, talking to his favourite people, or even staying alone. And then there are people like Abbacchio.

Leone was a man of few words, he would talk when necessary, and he wasn’t the nicest member of the gang. His face appeared to be in an eternal scowl, with his dark, thin eyebrows furrowed and his lips rarely lifting upwards. One would think that he was a strong, confident man whose only emotions were anger and disgust, but there’s always more to a person than what they let the others see.

Abbacchio was like any other person: some of his days were happy, other ones boring, and other ones bad, upsetting days. On the latter he would isolate himself and even refuse to get out of his bed, too mentally exhausted to interact with other people. He would push them away, and then he’d feel guilty about it. His lips would quiver and his eyes would water, but he’d hold it in.

And that day was one of those days.

(Name) exhaled, her eyes fixed on the last message he had sent: “See you at 9” with a black heart at the end. ‘Edgy’ she thought with a chuckle, but the small smile on her face disappeared as soon as it came. They had agreed on meeting quite early in the morning and, when she noticed that it was pouring outside but his last access remained the same as the previous night’s, she had guessed that the rain wouldn’t have been a problem for him either.

But after an hour of waiting for his arrival in front of the smallest, saddest bookstore in town, she came to a sudden realization: what if something was wrong?

Was he okay? Was the rest of the gang okay? Was her phone being dumb and not showing her his true last messages? She needed to know. She was about to stand up and open her umbrella when she noticed a notification from a different chat: Bruno had just texted her.

‘Would you mind coming over? I know this is sudden, but there’s somebody here who needs you.’ The text read, and her expression twisted into one of concern. It wasn’t the first time that she received a text like that, from either the Capo –whom she considered one of her closest friends- or another one of the guys, and it was not a pleasant thing to read.

She didn’t even bother to reply, instead she started walking towards the Passione residence, which was not that far away from that spot. The rain didn’t stop, making her almost trip at least twice along the way, but she was determined to see her lover’s face and hold him as close as possible.

It didn’t take that long before three knocks on the door snapped Bruno out of his trance; he stood up and made his way to the front door, abandoning the crossword puzzled he had been trying to complete for the past forty minutes on the wooden table.

He slowly opened the door to reveal his friend, umbrella in her right hand and phone in the other, her eyebrows slightly furrowed but a polite smile still present on her face. He motioned to come in and guided her to the couch, where they both sat down;

“So, what happened?” she asked, fidgeting with her hands. He let out a sigh,

“I...will keep it short. You know how Leone can get and now I know he needs extra support that I can’t give him. But please remember, cara; if this is too much for you, if he somehow hurts you with his words or actions...” he paused, cautiously choosing what to say next, “It’s not worth it. He is my friend, but you are too and I wouldn’t want you to think that I agree with everything he says or does.”

She carefully listened, her expression concentrated. She warmly smiled as he finished talking and took his larger hands in hers, grateful for having such a caring and honest friend.

“Bruno, I will follow your advice if anything happens. But I’m pretty sure it won’t,” she reassured him, and he nodded and returned the smile, “Now, he hasn’t left his room has he?”

“He’s been in there since yesterday night. He’d making all of us very worried, (Name).” He confessed, his tone of voice sincere. The girl could only nod and direct her gaze on the flight of stairs leading up to the second floor, where the bedrooms were located.

 Unmade bed, window shut, blankets and dirty clothes lazily piled up in a corner of the barely lit room. The smell not bad enough to be unbearable, but enough to make one’s nose wrinkle. The pitter patter of the rain soothed him, but unnerved him at the same time. Was it even possible to feel in such a way?

He sat there, intently staring at the blank, boring wall as if it was the most interesting thing. What else could he have done in his state after all? With his headphones too far away to reach and the overwhelming fatigue that didn’t seem willing to leave him anytime soon, he could only lose heart and sit there, with his back against the bed’s headboard.

His almost lifeless gaze fell upon his phone, which had been resting on his nightstand since the previous night. A feeling of guilt struck him at the thought that he hadn’t shown up for his and (Name)’s date, his chest tightening and a lump forming in his throat. No, he couldn’t cry. What was the point of crying anyway? His eyes alarmingly watered, salty tears threatening to roll down his pale cheeks; he tried to focus on breathing, when a soft, almost inaudible knock made his grip on the thin blanket covering his legs tighten and his eyebrows furrow.

No. He thought, his heart beating faster. Fuck, leave.

Silence. But then, another knock, this time a little bit louder. Who was it, and what did they want? He had harshly declined Bruno’s help earlier that morning, and made it clear that he didn’t want any of the other guys around. Watching Bruno retrieve his hand at his commanding voice made him regret his actions, but then again. What was he expecting from himself?

With his gaze fixed on the door, he flinched when he heard the voice of the person behind it.

“Leo?”

I don’t deserve you. He thought once again, his eyes burning. He suddenly became aware of the state he was in, with his normally silky hair now messy and tangled, tied in a low ponytail, no sign of makeup on his ghost white face, and his embarrassing attire composed by an old, short sleeved shirt –obviously too large for him- and a pair of grey night shorts, his legs exposed and, much to his regret, hairy.

“Leone, I just want to know if you’re okay-“

“I am, now leave.” Please, he wanted to add, before I say something I’ll regret.

He could feel her sighing, trying to come up with something to tell him that could’ve comforted him. But what exactly could’ve possibly made him happier? He had tried to think of something, to do something, but it only ended up hurting him more, making him lay back down, exhausted and ashamed of himself. Just the thought of it made him stomach turn, the thought of his beloved waiting for him under the pouring rain whilst he was laying in bed, frustrated... melancholic.

“Please tell me if there’s something I can do to make you feel better. I know you’re lying, but it’s okay,” a pause. Then shuffling, and the doorknob moved a little, “Can I come in, Tesoro?” she asked. Little did she know that the man was trying his hardest not to break down there, in that exact moment. Or did she? She’d never seen him or talked to him while he was in such a state, usually he would be angry and frustrated, drinking his pain away in the kitchen in the middle of the night, or even in a bar.

Silence means consent, she thought –as much as that sentence could’ve been wrong-, and she dared to open the door, moderately illuminating the chaotic room. He froze, not really sure what to do, if to yell at them or to gather all his strength to stand up and lock the door completely. But he simply stayed still, his chest rising and falling with every shaky breath he took.

“What are you doing here,” he asked, his words ended up sounding more like a statement, though. She slowly stepped inside, her gaze falling upon her handsome boyfriend’s body, partially covered by a thin, cream coloured blanket.

“I’m here to listen to you, what’s going on Leone?” she asked, slowly stepping closer to his bed. He eyed her for a moment, his eyes softening. He wanted to be mad and make her leave, he really did, she wasn’t supposed to see him like this and he deserved to suffer alone. He deserved to listen to all the horrible thoughts that his mind was full of, obsess over them.

He gasped at the light touch of her hand, which was now softly holding his, his long, bony fingers subconsciously intertwining with hers. That simple touch sent a wave of butterflies through his veins, making him shake and choke back a sob.

(Name) promptly took notice of this and sat down beside him, her eyes kind and a warm, welcoming smile on her face.

“You can cry, it’s okay to. Please look at me,” and he did, with tears finally spilling down his face, his cheeks flushed and the muscles of his chin trembling, making his lips quiver. His right hand clutched at hers as if his life depended on it, while his left was clenched in a fist, the knuckles slowly going white. (Name) worriedly moved closer to him, letting her free hand wander behind his head to untie his hair and run her fingers through it.

Tell me everything.

“I am... I don’t know. Fuck, I don’t deserve you-“ a stifled sob, and then he sharply inhaled, “You were waiting for me, but I was here. Being a useless dick even if they wanted to help. I just...” he suddenly stopped, allowing smaller sobs to escape from his parted, soft lips. The girl moved her hand from his hair to his back, pulling him closer so that his head could rest on her shoulder.

Slightly embarrassed by this position as she was the one usually laying her head on his shoulder, he tried to pull away, but her soothing touch and whispers sent a shiver up his spine and made him hold onto her for dear life, weeping and babbling about how he didn’t deserve her, about how he would miss her though if she left, and she thought she heard him say I’m sorry once or twice –and he’d rarely apologize-.

(Name) held him tight, noticing how quiet he was even while shaking and sobbing almost uncontrollably, wetting her cute, slightly elegant shirt. Not that she cared anyway, he was much more important than a stupid shirt.  

“Leo,” she whispered at some point, making him blink, more tears rolling down his reddened cheeks, “You deserve so much and you don’t even realize it. I know you blame yourself for a lot of things...” he raised his head, his hair gracefully cascading down his back; their eyes met and (Name) gave him a small smile, which he returned, “But not everything’s your fault.”

He averted his gaze, his breath slowly calming and his shoulders relaxing.

“Hm. Just promise... this whole thing will stay between us,”

She chuckled, and shifted in a more comfortable position so that they could be even closer.

“Of course; now will you eat breakfast with me?”

[jack-kellys]

thank u, next: finale part 1

hey everyone ;)

thank u, next is finally back and this thing I wrote is so long that it's TWO PARTS LONG!! isn't that EXCITING?? (it's only two parts because tumblr won't let it fit but it's fine)

all previous chapters are at the bottom of my masterlist—read for a refresher if ya need lmao it's been a while

here we go!

————

LAST TIME ON TU,N: al and race had their first date, al revealed some of his history, both boys admitted they loved each other (essentially), and race mentioned something about needing to stall....

words: 1527

warnings: cursing, death mention, cliffhanger?? :0

———

Five, Part One

“I think it’s ready.”

Race tilted his head to face his boyfriend as he said this, hands placed neatly over his stomach as he laid on the bed. Race’s quiet demeanor was misleading, as usual—a storm was roaring inside, a hurricane spinning and making his chest tighten in apprehension.

“What’s ready, Al?” Race asked.

Albert turned his head to the side as well, gazing at Race with a new light in his eyes. His smile was so wide and endearing that it nearly broke Race’s heart.

“The apartment, stupid,” Al scoffed. “We fixed it up, cleaned it, I got all the papers ready, my stuff’s all ready…” Al grinned. “I’m ready to move into it.”

And then Race’s heart did break.

Al looked so, so happy. Race knew that for Albert, getting his own place was a bigger milestone than it already would be for the average person. It meant something more than just a second floor apartment—it was a freedom Al had longed for since he was twelve, he'd said. A freedom that would rip whatever freedom Albert currently had away from him.

“You sure, baby?” Race whispered, trying not to let his voice break. “Everything’s done? There’s nothing left to prepare, nothing left to pack up?”

“Nope!” Al shook his head, eyes glinting as he leaned over to Race. “It’s done. Everything’s done. It’s gonna be mine, Antonio. All mine. Just like you.”

He pressed his lips hard onto Race’s, Race eagerly tangling his fingers into Albert’s red hair. Al’s hand was warm against his cheek, his thumb rubbing softly against him despite the intensity of the kiss. Race lost himself in Albert more than usual, hyper-focused on every detail—every freckle, every hair out of place, the feel of his hands on him, the taste of his lips and tongue, every small sound he made. Ironic how Al called him perfect, since the opposite was true.

After a while, Race was tracing his fingers over Albert’s stomach as the man rambled about how he wanted to set up the place, Race nodding every so often.

How Race’s heart shattered for him—this most undeserving man who had been nothing but endlessly interesting and funny and warm to him. Yes, Albert’s infatuation was mostly false, but Race could feel the deep friendly affection Albert harbored for him as well, one Race harbored right back. Only once before had Race let himself do that—in 1905, a boy named Sean Conlon walked into that same apartment door with a skeptical glance and narrowed eyes, and to Race’s dismay, they were friendly as well as intimate. It had broke him then, and it was breaking him now.

Through the rest of the week, it would continue to break him. Race helped Albert move into the place, not allowed to let Al get any suspicions as to why Race might have seemed gloomy. Moving in was tragically fun, the two of them laughing as they dropped boxes, picking up their contents and talking about nothing and everything. Race was surprised at his ability to keep the lump in his throat down enough to even talk to Al. Lucky, too—Albert was rather smart at figuring when something was wrong.

“I think that's everything,” Albert huffed, smiling and wiping his hands on his jeans. “I can't believe it.”

“Neither can I,” Race laughed, shaking his head. “Fast, huh?”

“Yeah, thank God. I thought that was gonna take so much longer. I'd assumed the worst,”

Al shrugged. Then he grinned, doing a small spin with his arms out in the center of the room. “But this is so great! It's all mine, and I'm responsible for it, and I make the rules—well, technically not, but still…”

Albert’s rambling faded away slightly as Race felt something in his chest. A sort of tug, like something was trying to get out of him

His heart stopped. That was so soon. Surely he had a little more time? An hour at least? He still had to tell him everything.

His change in demeanor must have been noticeable. Al was practically scanning him, analyzing anything that could be wrong.

“Babe, you oka—”

“I lied to you,” Race interrupted.

Albert went silent. His head was cocked slightly, that skeptical frown of his making Race’s heart skip a beat, that frown that meant Al wasn't just some pawn in Race’s wretched game.

“About what?” Albert asked slowly, eyes narrowed. A pang of guilt jabbed Race through the ribs as he remembered Al’s shitty past with relationships. This would be one for the books, Race supposed.

“About me. About who I—well, not about who I am. I lied about what I'm here for,” Race confessed.

“About why your mom left you here,” Al concluded. “What you're saying is that you ain't here to protect the people who buy this apartment, like you’d said to me.”

Race couldn't help but be slightly impressed. Albert’s expression remained rather neutral, his actual anger probably fighting with his infatuation with Race. Al was doing a good job at not letting either side win.

“No, I'm not here for that,” Race sighed. He had to get this over with. Maybe it'd hurt less that way. “When my family first moved to New York, my mom was at a loss as to where to go. Not many people just welcomed immigrants like that, y’know? And then we found this apartment. The landlord charmed my ma’s pants off—he was the first nice person to us in the city. But then he changed.

“He stopped caring about us. He didn't get anyone to fix anything when things were broken, no one cleaned anything. He took advantage of the people in this building, knowing no one could go anywhere else. He just took our money and kept the place in shambles. And so I died from the conditions—that part’s true.

“As I was dying—stay with me here, Albie, we don't have much time—my mother cursed me with haunting this apartment, and….making anyone who walks into the door with intentions to buy...instantly fall in love with me. It keeps me alive—the more people, the longer I get to live.”

Race hugged himself, willing the feeling in his chest to wait. Albert looked paralyzed, with fear or confusion or anger Race couldn't tell.

“So...so none of this was real? I-I don't...I don't love you right now?” Al questioned, eyebrows knit together.

“It's real to an extent,” Race explained, his heart cracking as Albert’s face dropped further. “I just...I gave you the initial infatuation, and then amplified the feelings you caught for me.”

“The feelings I caught?” Al scoffed. “Like you don't have them.” Then Albert froze. “You don't have ‘em, do you. You never did. That was just my stupid head telling me that you did, wasn't it.”

Race shook his head wildly. This was going worse than he thought it would. “No! No, Al, I promise you I do. I fell for you, I didn't mean to, but I—”

“Didn't mean to?” Albert seethed. If he was this worked up, time must really be up soon, Race noted sadly.

“It hurts less that way,” Race decided to admit. “I've been doing this for centuries now. My Ma wants revenge for eternity and I'm the pawn she needs to play it out.”

“This is fucked up,” Al said, tone decisive and expression stiff. “You're fucked up. Get the fuck outta my apartment, right now, you lying sonofa—”

“I’m afraid I can't do that,” Race said, the words coming out of him rather than him actually saying them. He was starting to feel a little distant, but he had to hold on. Just a little longer.

Albert’s eyes narrowed. “You're not physically attached to the place. Your words, not mine. Get out.”

“Can't leave this time,” Race shook his head solemnly.

“Then fuck you. I'll leave,” Albert bit out. Approaching the door, he scoffed, “if I didn't fuck a ghost, then you must be a goddamn demon, fucking prick.”

Race didn't say anything—couldn't, rather, as Al tried to open the door. He jiggled the knob a few times, then looked at Race.

“I didn't lock this,” Al stated. His eyes were wide. “Did you?”

“Not exactly,” Race murmured, looking at his feet. “I can't leave, which means you can't leave, either.”

“Race?” Albert breathed, back flush against the door as fear flashed in his eyes. “What are you saying.”

“I’m running out of time,” Race said instead. “I just...I need you to know that I've loved you. I'm in love with you, I swear on my mother’s soul I am. And I'm sorry you have to pay for it. I'm so, so sorry…” He felt tears slide down his cheeks.

“Race, for what?” Albert demanded. “What's- what’s going to happen?”

“I'm not part of what comes next, okay? I don't want this, I don't...want this…please…”

The tugging was too strong. He'd pushed it off for too long; he was out of time. Race felt his mind slip away from him, and then he was gone, torn away from Albert and leaving him to go through what was next alone.

———

haha what the fuck does THAT mean? read part two to find out!

TAG LIST

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[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

The only reason to hate is to protect the purity of love.

Apparently something I said about someone got spread thickly through the NHRA playing grounds....

That they perv hard on girls but doesn't rape them just is possessive on them to a way where it's almost questionable

I did say that and I never wrote it because I don't believe they're a harmful person just makes a person wonder or do a double take

I know Matt is always saying nice things and I'm always Matt shut up he's a perv. But a perv in a way that old guy from Hustler is. Like he knows he can probably bang any girl out there with it a problem.

I think for some girls that work he's more protective than anything but it still looks very perv.

But it takes a fine eye to see the difference

I write this today because I know a lot of people are like she just says bad things about people

I do. But people I know look a way but aren't I don't say anything and I'm not even writing initials but I can guarantee I have never written about this person before and he's a driver.

And I probably will never have to write a "hate piece" on him because he's not a bad guy. He's actually just a happy person.

I'm not defending myself. I'm just saying I'm not one of those persons that will be like Will Lester is a Rodney Acala because his name is like molester and he has a camera. I have no problems with Will, I like his photography and he keeps his lens clean unlike that one dumb ass that literally held onto his camera by the lens and then took pictures with smudging. Back in the 80s and 90s we would wipe vasoline on the lenses to create affects. But this is the 2010s there's a ton of software that you can keep your greasy ass hands off the lens.

Almost all guys naturally born in a male body have a dick. Not all of them use it as a weapon. Just like not everyone can use a camera.

Obviously I'm nothing like Megan or Leah. Or I wouldn't be so angry.

I'm not even like a Dejoria although I can understand one and call her an attempted Hero and forgive her although she inaverdantly destroyed my life.

I had PTSD for a long time because I gave someone money to bail her boyfriend out of jail whom then went on a crime spree destroying everything he could see and even people died and I had to look their best friend in the eye.

So yes, I do hold Dejoria responsible, however, like me, her intent was not the destruction that occurred. So I can forgive her only mostly because she does care and she is as angry as I am. I know she's not lying because she told me a long time ago she was very sorry for what my daughter had suffered and I knew her to be genuine. She probably did feel guilty.

But a person can feel guilty when someone they met once or twice kills themselves and you wish you had done something to save them. I have felt that more than once.

So there's a lot of willingness to have sex, protection because a girl is a girl, good photographers, guilty people that don't deserve it, and more people that deserve a smile to lighten the dark clouds surrounding their hearts and a pat on the back and a hug at the end of a day.

Don't forget love.

The only reason to hate evil is to protect love, tp allow others to trust everyone to be kind, to live freely giving communication and kindness.

Everyone knows I use to say how much u hated what Dejoria did. But now she's had her hip break, communication directly from God and herself that continuing to rape is wrong. And she quit the NHRA and raping. For me, that is enough, provided she gets the other girls and guys to stop raping.

Yesterday I said my daughter doesn't remember what happened. So why push criminal charges? Because I remember. Because I was tied to a bed and the only way I got untied is I used my leg to fuck up this dudes balls. What you do when you're being raped and they're about to cum, cross your leg over your other like you're sitting, so when they slide back they slam into your leg, if they have a small pens their balls will be hanging down and it will hurt them greatly. The smaller the penis, the more ball sack they have. The larger the penis, the shaft needs more skin, so it pulls up skin from the ball sack and the balls will then be two lumps around the base of the shaft if they use all the skin. It is actually something that a guy can control, if he knows how to. Which is why masterbation and rhe acceptance of masterbation is crucial to the development of a young male.. that said I rather believe that Alex does not have pubes nor a dick that is used for nothing other than peeing. However I do know about what he does with other people to the extent of hickies or him casually mentioning that he saw a person he would french kiss. We do not share details like he did this unless it's all "my friend --" and I'm naive enough to believe that he wasn't even there when it happened.

If he's murdered I should know the name(s) of the people he french kisses often so I can give the police a name and location of where the person works. If he has an issue, I would want him to ask someone trusted and I am someone trusted. .... this one time he tried to tell me something and I was all "they got you high and turned on a porn and touched you while you fell asleep?!?! That's a bad person, Alex!!! Never see them again!!!" I misunderstood his awkwardness as "im confessing I liked it" as "I'm have always been uncomfortable about this" he was all "we will talk about it later" as it was late and I was driving and etc etc. And obviously I was not understanding

So until i read that book yesterday that I didn't have to pay $2.99 for because I can see through the Internet. But not in a Steven Hawkins way. I wasn't a Goddess.

So that kinda communication will never happen again. Still. I prefer to think of his physical being as that of a ten year old. My daughter is a two year old but potty trained. Because what they do with their body is their business unless they are hurting themselves or others.

What my daughter does in her pants is her business. I tell her "when you are doing anything sexual, you make sure it's about you and not what you think the other person wants or needs unless you want or need it because if it's not okay with you then it's probably not okay it happened or maybe for you to even be with this person."

It doesn't take more details than that. I don't have to say vagina. I don't have to believe she has one or boobs or a spot that makes her go crazy with giggles or with homicidal rages. I day it to her and the air around her as if there was people I would be warning or she would carry a cloud with her to tell people to get the Hell away unless you care about equality and compassion.

And one time she asked if she needed help to get away from a person that would hurt her and I told her "yes, even if I'm dead. Even if all I can do is pray, then yes I will. Obviously, I love you, of course I will! But if I can do more then I will, of course! Because I love you"

And she smiles.

Since the law says basically I have to report and file charges on someone who would hurt her, then obviously I would. Because i promise her I will do all I can. When what happened in Okmulgee, she was 5. She just graduated kindergarten and we were there to see how she could handle a separation from her father as I had planned to get a divorce and him and I had had separate bedrooms for nearly a year. Not to be raped or molested or to have an adult make her kiss a place that she should know only pee comes out of and shouldn't even know what looks like in great detail at the age of 5. She told me it was slimy because he had put it in me. I explained her to that he had basically in a way peeed in me and that was why and she was all pee is slime!?!!?! Sometimes what comes from from a private part is what you would call slimy.

When she got her period the first time I bought her a book. She was suppose to get the majority of her sexual education from books, TV and the internet. And from touching herself.

Now it's quite well that the first time she has sex , after marriage or her first boyfriend or whatever she is going to remember a slimy Gary penis that was inside her mother. Don't you think that would be the worst way to experience your first sexual encounter with flashbacks? That could damage her entire sexual future and any chance of having a relationship with a man that is worthwhile.

So yes. To fix that, to prevent that. Yes she has to say my mom had those people prosecuted and they went to jail and paid me a lot of money and so now i never have to remember and if I do then I can supress it and know that it should never happened and that justice was served and I know that I never have to remember. So if she gets a flash back feeling she never has to look at it. It's just what happens sometimes.

Moral of the story: don't do bad things and you're safe from me.

[gaiyofanfiction]

Rare Blood (4)

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 (Final)

Vampire Prince!Yoo Kihyun x Siren!Reader

Much angst, maybe fluff

Vampire world!AU

A/N: Thanks so much for all the love! We are so happy you guys are liking the story. It’ll only get more dramatic as it continues! Please leave us comments about what you think. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: This store is pure fiction. Yoo Kihyun and the rest of Monsta X are the sweetest creatures on this earth, we know they would never do anything to harm or manipulate anyone.

Trigger warning: Mentions of abuse for right now. Maybe something else in the future.

You feel Prince Kihyun's hot breath on the back of your neck. You glance behind you to see the Prince looking at you with dark, lust-filled eyes.

“Prince Kihyun, what are you doing?” You ask breathless.

The Prince chuckles and snakes his arms around your waist. “I just want what belongs to me my dear.” He kisses the back of your neck, making you shiver. “I want you, Y/N. You're so beautiful.”

You close your eyes, knowing you should stop this. “But this is against the rules.”

He growls, “I can do what I want, Y/N. I am the Prince, after all.” You hear his fangs elongate and feel a sharp but erotic pain as his fangs sink into your neck.

You jolt awake with heavy breathing. ‘What the hell was that?!’ you shake your head, trying to rid yourself of that dream.

“What were you dreaming about? Sounded interesting considering your moans.”

You almost scream as you turn to see the Prince starting at you with interest. “Holy shit, Prince Kihyun. You scared the shit out of me!”

He chuckles watching you put a hand to your heart, panting.

“Why are you in here? It's not appropriate to repeatedly watch a girl sleep!” You hiss at him.

Like a blur, he was suddenly in front of you, his hand lifting up your chin to look him in the eyes. “You're mine, girl. I can do as I wish.”

The closeness of the prince reminds you of your dream. You swallow the lump in your throat as you stare at his beautiful face. He pulls away from you and you sigh with relief. 'What the hell is this feeling? Is it just because of the dream?’

“Besides, I didn't come in here to just watch you sleep. I'm hungry.” He licks his lips.

Your heart starts to flutter. You feel the warmth from his lips hovering over your neck. ‘Do it! I want it so bad!’ His wet lips finally touch your skin and goosebumps quickly rise all over your body. The feeling of his sharp fangs sinking in no longer pain you the same way. Instead, it felt… Good?

‘It hurts, but it hurts so good. What is wrong with me?’ You let your neck drop into his hands letting him be able to access your neck better. His fangs sank even deeper and it’s as if your blood started rushing through your whole body.

The sensation was overwhelming. Your body felt alive and numb at the same time. ‘I don’t know if I can take any more, I hope he’s almost done.’ You bite your lip trying not to let out a sigh of pleasure.

Something compelled you to touch his hands that cupped your neck and whisper, “harder.”

Prince Kihyun was clearly startled by this. He retracted his fangs and backed away quickly. You quickly snap out of the trance, embarrassed about what happened. Clearing his throat he looks away. ‘Is he… BLUSHING!?’

“Now that that's done, it's time I take my leave. I have a busy schedule today,” he makes his way to the door but turns to face you before leaving. “Oh and you are forbidden to leave this room. I'll be back in a few hours for my second feeding.”

“Wait, what?” You give him a surprised look. “I'm supposed to just sit in here for a few hours til you get back? That's not fair!”

The Prince shakes his head. “I don't care. You do as I say, girl. I'm your Master.”

Though the words of him saying that he’s your Master starts to turn you on you still glare at Prince Kihyun. “What the hell am I supposed to do by myself for hours?”

He growls and sighs. “That's none of my concern. Good day.” He opens the door. “Oh and don't forget to put your collar back on.” With those last words he takes his leave,

You make your way to the door and listen to his footsteps fading away. Once they were gone you opened the door and peek out. 'He’s out of his damn mind if he thinks I'm going to sit here alone and wait for his royal ass.’

You chuckle to yourself as you slip out of the room quietly. 'Now is just the time to properly explore this place.’

You walk down the hallway opposite the way Prince Kihyun went. Looking around as you walk, you never really realized how big this place is. The ceilings are high, making the stone columns that hold up the castle large and intimidating. The grand window panes are covered in black curtains, making the hallway appear darker than it could be. The only thing lighting the corridors are huge crystal chandeliers hanging along the ceiling.

You happen upon a tall wooden door, ornamented with small carvings that look like vines. You hear a commotion behind the door. You slowly turn the handle and push the door open as quietly as you can. You peek your head around the corner to see a grand ballroom, bigger than anything you've ever seen before. You see vampires running around, trying to set up tables and different decorations. 'Huh, I wonder what's going on here. Is this what the Prince was telling me about?’

“Well what do we have here? A little spy, huh?”

You stiffen at a low voice coming from behind you. You slowly turn around, terror flashing across your face. Standing behind you, very close, was a very handsome Vampire.

“Well, you're pretty cute, aren't you. Why don't you come keep me company, hm?”

You back away through the door as the male vampire walks closer to you. Unfortunately you seem to hit another body.

“Awe, are you scared of poor IM? Don't worry, I'll protect you, cutie.”

You squeak as you whirl around to see yet another very attractive male vampire. 'God, how can there be this many hot guys in one place?!’

The male named IM, who was now behind you wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you into his chest. “Keep your grubby hands off this human, Minhyuk. She's mine.”

Minhyuk scoffs and grabs your arm, pulling you towards him. “As if. You're so fucking greedy, boy. Learn to share.”

IM growls and narrows his eyes at him. “I don't need to share. If I want something, I'll get it. Not my fault you get jealous so easily.” He grabs your arm and attempts to pull you back to him.

Now it's a tug-of-war between the two male vampires with you being the rope. You whimper as you feel your arms being pulled out of their sockets.

“Hey! I would advise you two to let her go.” You hear a stern voice coming from behind you. You turn your head slightly to see the vampire Wonho coming over with a scary look on his face.

“Says who?” Minhyuk growls, his grip on your wrist tightening.

Wonho narrows his eyes at Minhyuk, “she isn't yours.” He turns his look at IM. “And she isn't yours either.”

“Well, then why would a human girl be walking around a castle infested with vampires?” IM also tightens his grip on your other wrist. You bite your lip to keep yourself from crying in pain.

Wonho crosses his arms. “She's the Royal-pain-in-the-ass’ human. So I'd advise you to let her go. You know how he gets when he's mad.”

Minhyuk raises an eyebrow. He looks down at the wrist he's holding and turns it over to see the tattoo that has gotten you into this mess in the first place. He looks into your eyes and licks his lips. “Oh, so this is the siren human we've heard so much about. That only sweetens the deal. Stealing you from the Prince would only make me happier.” He tugs on your wrist again but IM is keeping up with him.

Wonho rolls his eyes. “God, ever since he was named the heir to the throne, all you ever been is jealous of the kid. Get over it already, nothing is going to change.”

IM laughs at Wonho’s statement. Wonho shoots a look in IM’s direction. “Don't laugh. You're no better, Mr. Greedy. You'll take anything and everything you can get your hands on. You think everything belongs to you. One day that will get you into some serious trouble.”

IM stops laughing and narrow his eyes at Wonho.

“I wouldn't talk if I were you, Wonho. Your lustfulness tends to get you in loads of trouble with other males. Always going after their girls.” You hear a new voice coming from the door you were forced into. You see Shownu raise an eyebrow.

Wonho glares at the well-built vampire. “Oh shut up. You're always so hungry, you'll eat any blood you can get your hands on. You need to go on a diet.”

You look to all four vampires that we're surrounding you. “U-um, c-can you please let me go now?” You say in a quiet voice, tugging at your hands. IM and Minhyuk growl at the same time, both tugging on your wrists once more.

You Yelp in pain from the pulling and their nails digging into your wrists, causing blood to bead. 'Shit, now I'm bleeding with a room full of vampires!’

Minhyuk’s eyes dilate. “You smell that… Siren blood.” Suddenly they all were hungry for you. They became ferocious animals gathering around their helpless prey, you.

The smell of your blood only made them dig their nails deeper. Finally you can't take it anymore and cry out loud. Suddenly you feel hands rip you from the two vampires. You look up to see a very very angry Prince.

'Oh shit…’

“What in the HELL are you doing with my human?!” He practically screams.

Minhyuk snaps out of it and rolls his eyes. “We we're just playing around, no need to be so uptight.”

Prince Kihyun grabs your wrists and holds them out. The other vampires look to see nail marks beaded with blood.

“Is this just playing around?!”

“Oh, come on, your Highness. You should learn to share anyway. She's got enough blood for the family.” IM waves his hand as of it's nothing.

Prince Kihyun hisses and puts you behind his back, as if shielding you from everyone. “Don't you DARE touch her or go near her again.” His eyes turn blood red, his protectiveness kicking in. “I will kill anyone who tries to hurt her, accident or not. You all have been warned.”

Without another word, he grabs your upper arm and pulls you along behind him out of the room.

As the boys watch you and Prince Kihyun walk down the hall, they start to talk amongst themselves.

“Is it just me or does it seem like our Kihyun is actually fond of his feeder?” IM states his thoughts.

“To be honest, if she was my feeder I wouldn’t want any of you filthy vamps touching her either,” Wonho exclaims.

Minhyuk scoffs and gives Wonho the side eye, “you’re only saying that because she’s hot. Why does Prince Kihyun get to have everything great? I deserve a taste of the rare blood just as much as him, if not more.”

IM and Minhyuk start to give conspiring looks at each other. Wonho notices this and becomes hesitant. “You guys better not be making some heinous plans. The Royal family and Counsel have a way of finding out anything and everything…”

Both vampires didn’t care. Their greed and jealousy got the best of them. Minhyuk held out a hand to IM, “I bet that I can get a taste of her siren blood before your itty bitty fangs even retract.”

IM didn’t take kindly to Minhyuk’s words and growled, “ sounds like a deal, grandpa. While you’re asleep in your dusty coffin, I’ll be up and about already getting my taste of that rare siren blood.”

Wonho shakes his head and sighs, “you two are going to be banned from this kingdom one way or another, I just know it.”

Minhyuk grins, showing his fangs. “Not if he doesn't find out.”

Shownu raises a brow. “How would he not find out? Her room is connected to his and not only that, she wears his collar. You know it sends signals to him when she's in distress.”

They think for a moment before IM smirks, “he wouldn't know if she doesn't have her collar on.”

“And how are you going to catch her without the collar on?”

IM chuckles and taps his temple. “We have compelling magic, duh. She may be a siren, but she doesn't have the powers of a royal.”

Minhyuk nods in agreement. Shownu and Wonho give each other a look. Sighing, Shownu turns his back to the younger vampires. “Well, good luck with that. I'd rather not have his highness’ anger aimed my direction.”

The three vampires watch Shownu walk away. Wonho turns to the boys and narrows his eyes. “I don't have a problem with you messing with Kihyun. In fact, I find it funny. But if you hurt that poor girl, you won't be just facing the prince's wrath.” He turns to leave.

Minhyuk raises a brow, “awe, does Wonho have a little crush on the siren?” He mocks.

Wonho's hands tighten into fists. “No. I just know how it feels to hurt an innocent human girl. And you know that.” He speaks through his teeth before following Shownu.

[Masterlist]

[bandomslayed]

I’m a CSA victim. Of course I want minors to be safe, I was a minor who wasn’t kept safe but I don’t want people who have one thing in common with predators to be lumped together, because that isn’t fair. It’s like if I said anyone who’s 6’3” and has a mustache is a cunt because the person who hurt me was that. i don’t expect anyone to be “docile” or anything, i just think that if I’m not being aggressive, I shouldn’t be met with aggression. I have no preconceived notions about any people based on any of their ascribed traits, I assure you, I base my entire conception of people on how they make me feel and maybe that’s not great all the time, but I’m not trying to oppress you into docility, I don’t want to be harmful to you I just want the community to be educated instead of intimidated and I don’t want someone who has a valuable voice to say harmful stuff about me, either. I know that wasn’t your intention, too! It’s just that my subjective bias made it difficult to not take on. It’s not that you’re being aggressive at all, it’s that generalized statements are damaging for the outliers sometimes. And the other people in your inbox are being aggressive. I am confused because you’re saying you don’t want to be conveyed as aggressive but also that you don’t care how your tone comes off. I know there isn’t feasible resolution that’s easy but that’s why I think those things are more important to work on than some others, I guess. Because it’s hard work to reformat our thought processes. But it is possible. The thing is that the person has to want to change and grow to do that, and some of the people who are perpetuating the toxicity …don’t want that. I don’t have to tell you that, I can see easily that you understand that. I also don’t think that it isn’t important to protect younger writers and young people in general, I just think that it’s a battle on such a case to case basis that it’s hard to say without a lot of “but if—“ and “except for” kind of statements, whereas there’s no room for exceptions in what is and isn’t acceptable in terms of racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, basically any ism or phobic. I don’t care about the exceptions people have in the world of discrimination. And those are the things dividing the rpc. Also, not to mention if we were to weed out people who enable those discriminatory behaviors, that would eliminate a lot of the people who have uncomfortable ships. I don’t want you to take away from this any negativity, I just don’t want to feel like I’m being disrespected by a handful of other anons either.

yeah i don't care if i come off as aggressive because regardless of how i carry myself that's going to be the conclusion soooo im just gonna say what i have to say and let y'all handle how you feel about it, no hand holding or coddling or knuckle kissing. my besties who choose to try and be nice, all the power to you but im done with that in this rpc. im also done with this dialogue like at this point i don't even know what you want me to say? ive made my point plenty clear: im calling out weirdos regardless. if that's not u then that's not u, u don't need to justify urself to me or the other anons, we wouldn't even know ur personal details if u hadn't told us.

i did try to educate you, by the way. poc are tired of the whole perception that if we're not nice people won't take us seriously because they feel attacked. maybe if y'all exercised empathy to first understand why we get upset it would be easier to understand why we don't want to be nice and civil. but of course, that's too much work for the person who ultimately is in the wrong. because they have to be talked to nicely. but if its too nice then its patronizing and mocking, but if it's not nice enough then it's not worth listening to... miss me tbh. there is never winning with u guys, because when someone isn't genuinely interested in learning and just looking to be told omg ur so right, ur not weird and wrong at all!!!! there is no conversation in the world that will sufice.

[selflovebesson]

delicate, part vii — jack avery

requested?: yes oof

a/n: this is the final part of delicate!! idk man i cried writing this but maybe u wont idk

________________________________________________________

we stood in the same exact spots for so long my feet began to throb. my back was aching and my heart was pounding in the silence.

i was the first to sit down, my posture straight, my hands laid on my knees, my eyes shot forward at the blank white wall.

freddie honer had decided he would talk to jack in private, and i was preparing myself for the reality of that situation.

“y/n,” jonah spoke, but he sounded so distant. i was too distracted trying to make-out the mumbles coming from the room beside us.

of course not!

no!

i would never fucking—

i think i’ve heard loud sounds. fire alarms, ambulances, zach itching for attention on christmas day. but nothing had prepared me for the loud bang that went off just then. a bang so loud, it filled my brain. for instance, i knew the boys were screaming, scrambling to run, but i sat seemingly unbothered, and listened to the softer loud of the thud of the presumably lifeless body hitting the floor.

i didn’t move. perhaps i couldn’t or maybe i just didn’t want to. maybe it hurt too much to move. either way, jonah was the one to throw me over his shoulder as he ran, along with the other boys, through the zigzags of the home until they hit the driveway and im not sure why but they were running and running and running.

-

california is known for how hot it is. at least that’s how it was when i was growing up. california was the hot state. summer even during winter. beach days everyday. i never imagined the heat could close my throat the way it was right now. but then again everything else was closing, too.

“what the fuck are we going to do?!” jonah.

“im not sure, man, but jack—“ eben.

“don’t you dare say it.” corbyn.

sobbing, i knew that was daniel and zach. the two distinct cries were unmistakable to me. i’d heard them millions of times before.

i felt myself unfolding, coming undone, as my brain drained the long gone banging sounds from replay. i looked around, trying to make sense of what was happening, but all i could see was grass. grass and a pile of boys holding back terrible tears under heavy breathing.

“corbs?” deja vu. i shivered at the reminder of the driveway scene, but shook it off because i knew this time it was him, this time i was met with glowing blue eyes not cold brown ones.

he kneeled down beside me, where i sat with my back against a wooden fence. “hm? yes, dear?” his voice was choked, his attention forced, and i felt my own tears starting a lump in my throat.

“where are we?” i managed, swallowing my emotions.

“uh,” he looked around, running his hands through his fallen flat hair. “i think, about 40 miles from the city.” that means we were only 60 miles away from honer. from malis. from jack’s dead body.

you know how they say good things come to those who wait? i waited all my life to find somebody like jack. and when i finally found him, he gets ripped away from under me like some sort of faked welcome rug. so perhaps good things only come to those who earn them, or maybe its just at random.

i felt my feet itch and i shot up from my spot on the grass, surprising all the boys around me. i gave him each a look before i began speeding down the side of the road. mostly because i knew they’d follow suit. and anything was better than staying put at this point in time.

“y/n we can’t run 40 miles!” corbyn called from not so far behind me but i only picked up my pace. should i prove him wrong? show him all the adrenaline i have rushing through me at the moment? maybe. maybe. maybe.

an hour. sixty minutes. that’s how long it took for my legs to give in and drop me to the gravel. the crunching sound of my knees on the pebbles and pavement stopped the five boys behind me as well. my chest heaved up and down uncontrollably but not only because of the running. my tears were falling unconsciously and i was doing nothing to stop them anymore.

i grabbed onto everything i could, grass, dirt, fucking concrete, anything that would hopefully feel like something in my hands. i felt like i had been stabbed repeatedly, over the course of a thousand years, slowly tortured by demented beings. but, then again, that’s basically what freddie honer had just done.

my heart was pounding, so loudly i was praying the boys wouldn’t hear it but they probably could because i could hear theirs, too. boom boom. boom boom.

“y/n?” his voice was distorted and faded, my ears rang and popped with such a painful surge. i felt defeated. utterly and completely defeated.

-

i woke up the next morning to the comfort of my own bed. i woke up the next morning in a cold sweat. my hands were drenched in the liquid, as were my thighs and arms and face. i was breathing heavily, and everything that happened before, in that moment, had been but a dream.

so i sprinted down the stairs, caring less for if i fell or not, and into the kitchen where the boys sat at the kitchen island, in the early morning darkness, silently. i curved the corner and slapped my hands onto the counter, quickly making a mental count of how many there were. “one, two, three, four, five.” five. only five.

“y/n?” eben’s voice echoed off the walls of my brain but i couldn’t focus on it.

i ran myself back up the stairs and burst in the door of jack’s room. it was empty and cold. oh so cold. my shaky fingers traveled over everything. from his nightstand table to his graduation cap, which sat still on his dresser.

i looked myself in the mirror then, and i felt ghostly. the bags under my eyes spoke for themselves and the tears cascading down my already dry ones, was traumatizing.

i reached for one of the drawers, popping it open and grabbing the nearest shirt. it was a blue stripped one he used to wear every so often. he’d bought it on impulse after i told him how much i liked it at the store.

i gripped it. digging my nails into it. it still smelled like him. the strong scent of his cologne filled my nose and traveled to the far away place he held in my mind.

just then, i felt a large hand land on my waist and i jumped lightly, only to be greeted by jonah’s soft expression. he looked broken too. perhaps a bit more put together than me but broken nonetheless. “y/n?” he began. “how long till you’re ready to talk about this?” i shot my eyes up at him as if he were insane. was he really asking me this? jack had only died the night before.

“jonah,” i growled. “jack died last night. do you really expect me to be ready to do anything in less than 24 hours?” his expression turned to confusion in a moments pass and i looked at him carefully through the mirror.

“sweetheart,” he sighed. “im not sure what you think happened. but, jack’s been....gone.... for almost six months. and i know it’s hard because its been hard for all of us but, we need to talk about this at some point.”

“you’re insane!” i raised my voice in sudden rage. “what the fuck do you mean six months ago?!”

“y/n. im sure you remember it rather vividly. the girl. the house. her father—“

“don’t remind me, marais!”

“look,” he grabbed my shoulders and sighed. “my point is, it happened half a year ago, and healing starts with talking.”

“healing starts with talking.”

[solienna]

//BARGES INTO YOUR ROOM, THE VIDEO GAME ASK!!!! I name, Mass Effect (any of them), Dragon Age (any of them), Fallout 4, Portal, Legend of Zelda Wind Waker, Paper Mario The Thousand Year Door, Assassin's Creed 2, Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney, and Harvest Moon DS!!! (and yes, i did just hit you with all of my fave games why do you ask) (okay not all of them, i didnt mention folklore but it's obscure so i doubt you've even heard of it) also, also bc you make jokes about it all the time, Skyrim

thank u meander im crying very much ur the best, under a read more bc video games are my lifeblood

mass effectnever played | want to play | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

ok so as u know i beat mass effect 1 like. three days ago and all i have to say is AJDHGASDG!! DEFINITELY A FAVORITE!! WHERE HAS THIS GAME BEEN ALL MY LIFE!!! WHY DID I HESITATE FOR SO LONG BEFORE PLAYING IT!!! I WAS MISSING OUT ON SO MUCH I LOVE IT!! ALL THIS LORE AND THESE STRONG DIVERSE CHARACTERS!!! WTF THE FUCK!!!

rn i am in the process of playing me2 (im like 20 hrs in but i’ve done like nothing bc i am a completionist gamer and spend all my times stripping planets bare of their resources before leaving forever, and also just walking around everywhere looking at shit and messing around with my crew and avoiding the main questline) and oh my gosh!!!! also definitely a favorite im so in love with this game!!! its heartbreaking and genuinely funny and ridiculous and DID I MENTION THE COMBAT SYSTEM I LOVE IT. also any games that give u the option to dance are 10/10 in my book. also when garrus laughed once i died.

in summary mass effect is a great found family simulator. however there’s this really persistent bug where ppl keep talking to me about these reapers and their followers the goths geths, its kinda distracting me from the main purpose of the game, which is to gather up as many ragtag sad friends as u can. hopefully theyll remove all that other stuff in the next patch

dragon agenever played | want to play | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

dragon age origins is definitely one of my favorite games ever of all time, i BELIEVE it was my first bioware game and oh my GOD it was so good. the lore. the LORE. the CHARACTERS. the DRAMA the SCANDAL. it was so good i wanna cry. i was taken aback by how real all the companions were and how u could actually talk to them…. wild

dragon age 2 is no match for origins in my book but i still enjoyed it a lot, gotta give that one a good, the combat was definitely a lot simpler and a lot more fun and look. im a typical gamer i love a good fight, i love spamming buttons and having shit work out somehow. also a good cast!

i played like 150 hours of da:i with just one inquisitor and yet i have no memories of this game. i remember nothing, i know cole was there and i was real shook bc i read the dragon age books (i was super into dragon age like?? two years ago i think) and then varric was there and also i fought a lot of dragons. dorian carried us. my dream team was me, blackwall, varric, and dorian we had a lot of fun. alistair died. ummm i spent a lot of time standing in the tavern listen to the lady with the nice voice sing. gotta give this game a solid good, i don’t remember anything abt this game but i sure had a lot of fun playing it, whatever it was

fallout 4

never played | want to play | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

ok so i have like 300+ hrs into this game bc i keep starting over with new sole survivors and all of them are named washington. i still havent beaten this game. if u had asked me what my opinion of this game was like six months ago i wouldve been like this is a favorite for sure but now its like…. eh…. i play it for an hour every once in a while but it’s honestly started to bore me a little… like don’t get me wrong i very much enjoyed this game!!! (i wouldnt have 300+ hrs invested into it if i didn’t like it) but the game doesnt really have much replayability to me… sorry todd. thanks for preston and deacon and nick i love them a lot but other than that this game doesn’t really pull me in like it used to

portalnever played | want to play | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

OK LOOK. i do own this game and also portal 2. and i do want to play them. im just lazy. EVENTUALLY ONE DAY i will get around to playing this game, it looks like a ton of fun, even tho im not too big into puzzle solving. fair warning my list of games i want to play is like a mile long bc i just keep replaying the games i have LMAO

legend of zelda wind waker/paper mario the thousand year door/phoenix wright ace attorney/harvest moon DS

never played | want to play | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

ok i am lumping all of these together bc 1) i’ve never played them and 2) i don’t have much of an interest in playing them unfortunately, unless someone persuaded me to try them out i wouldnt really spend time on them, im too busy replaying games ive already played 1000 times

assassins’ creed 2

never played | want to play | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

OK I WILL ADMIT IT. i am a liar and a fraud. the only AC games i’ve ever played are black flag, rogue, and syndicate. no i don’t have a clue what’s going on in the real world with the animus or w/e and yes i had lot of fun with the parkour mechanics and killing ppl in impossible ways. AC1 and 2  and whatever games come after it are other games that are on my ever-growing list of games i want to play, i started AC1 like two years ago but then totally forgot about it BUT YES. I DO WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME. EVENTUALLY

skyrim

never played | want to play | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

i have never heard of this game in my life i’m not really sure what you’re talking about- *trips* *thousands of hours spent playing this game spill from pockets* fuck those aren’t mine i swear i’m just holding them for a friend i- *slips on a pile of my skyrim OCs* fu ck no they’re not mine i’ve never heard of this game i just- *216387213 unfinished skyrim fanfics fall out as i fall to my knees, desperately trying to pick them up* hang on a sec jUst LISTEN

[ufonaut]

1-10, 29, 30 if u haven't done those)))))

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?WELL they would have to listen to the smiths/morrissey solo, not any songs in particular just the whole vibe, read les mis (which after all these years still feels deeply personal) or morrissey’s autobiography (yes i am morrissey irl) and watch kill your darlings & the grand budapest hotel

2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?MORRISSEY this is ridiculous i cant think of anyone else atm

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.uh.......i mean i dont think im really in any fandoms besides libs? so carl even though hes a real. person and idk aria from pretty little liars but im not legit in that fandom

4. do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?I HATE ALL OF MY NAMES but i cant think of anything better

5. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?human being, i dont do anything

6. are you religious/spiritual?spiritual i suppose

7. do you care about your ethnicity?not really!

8. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?see all of the above answers

9. are you an artist?i like to think so! a real renaissance man over here

10. do you have a creed?eh not really

29. three songs that you connect with right now.liability - lorde, maybe this time from cabaret, befour - zayn

30. pick one of your favorite quotes.“A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness.”

thank you!!!!!!!!!!!! lov uuu

[incoherentlynonexistent-blog]

Unfortunate Outcome

Amazing how one person can change everything.....incredible as that same person becomes somebody they swore and promised to never become.....funny how you believed them, and the unfortunate outcome is the consequences you suffer because you trusted their word over everyone and everything....

It's so degrading...to now be where you're at only because you believed in something that wasnt ever real...

Hurtful to actually feel the loneliness kick in.....

Depressing to remember how little of an importance you were to them....

Unwilling to heal and move on because how do you pick yourself up after consistently being there for someone then for it to become abandoned and forgotten.....

It's the Unfortunet outcome to their mishaps that led me to becoming helpless and needy.

Sad thing is, I don't even know what it is that i want

Idk what I need....

I know I dont need this constant bullshit

Unfortunetly because I had so much hope and expectations

Its stupid to look back and realize how naive and oblivious I used to be

Now I guess they can say I made my own mess when they're the ones who lied and ridiculed me because I was drug along for so long

The most unfortunate thing about this is the outcome. Despite how much "better" they find this to be, I won't ever be able to be better....yea I have my good days, but even those arent good.....

Doesnt matter where they go

Doesnt matter the time they let slip by

Hell it doesn't matter what they do .

In still feeling the same things

I doubt ill ever have anything to help me endure this

I live everyday waiting still

I go about each day hoping anyone would love to be here again

I literally feel myself slipping

I'm already dead because of them

Added with how I'm still feeling

I'm not sure of this feeling will subside

It's all mind consuming

I can't just stop about this

It's the one thing that no-one understands

The reason why I'm like this

The answer is simple

Given the empty promises and then being just thrown way like yesterdays garbage

I'm miserable with this unfortunate outcome.....

I didnt get closure

Instead I get the only thing that's never changed

Them leaving my life.....

Something promised against but in the end

They all prove to be the same person that leff you to begin with ......

It's hard living and feeling like this

I have no faith

I don't have confidence

I'm trying to find a purpose

But I can't get far or enough to cease the memories....

They're just haunting to me now...

Only because of how and what I've done

You really think I can just magically become better

No.

It's not possible unless you actually are willing to be here

Or unless you actually gave me the closure I've been desiring

Until I'm given that

I will not get better.

I will not heal

This unfortunate outcome will be my life sentence

This isn't what I what wanted

None of this is

I don't want the depression

I dont care for the desire.

I just want to feel happy again.

I want a reason to actually smile and feel good about myself......

I just wished someone would hear me out

After asking for three years now...

I cant just move on

God Damn it man

If they only knew just how bad I really am

I wonder if things would be different....

I wonder if anyone wouldve left....

I just want someone to be here for me

Irs not ever been about my sex life or being in a relationship

My goal was to only be around the people who want to be here

Maybe ive beckne to fucked up to obtain that chance again

Unfortunate outcome is me being treated in such manner when the pupils who inflicted all that hurt and damage are the ones at fault for me becoming this way. They shut me out because I'm still fucked up over it. I was the original victim that became traumatized and untrusting, but I wouldnt be this irritable bitter suicidally depressed person that's unwilling to move on if it weren't for their actions.

I don't trust anybody any more

I don't even crack a smile

You know who you are

The person im addressing anyway ..

I hope you're happy

I hope you feel accomplished at what you created

With the unfortunate outcome that you refuse to have anything to do with what you started and fucked up numerous times......it leaves me like this.....

Idk how else to stress this fact

Because I cant get that little bit of respect....

When I shouldn't have been involved anyway

I should've walked away

I should've listened to the voice in my head

"Don't worry on going to the laundry mat

If I'd knew then what I knew now

I would've never showed up

I would have never existed

But its thanks to you ive gotten like this

Thanks to you I sit all day every day for the past few years pondering about whats wrong with me

Why am I not wanted. Why does everyone leave....see that's the difference between us, you're the one who does all the leaving. I linger because I believe in equal opportunity especially when so much effort was put into it in the first place. I believe in those who remain loyal and true on their word, but you seem to still believe in empty promises. You're using you're ears to see and you're eyes to hear. You're the most cruel and cold hearted creature. Not human.....because with human emotion, I couldnt do what you do, I cant lead them on, shut them out, I cant make someone feel like their the one for me, but then shut them down and out when the one I want is around. I will never understand you're selfish decisions and with how you know youve done wrong but you still don't bother to change.

Maybe I've become an unforgivable asshole, but that's the unfortunate outcome when someone so heartless just takes you for granted then you're the bad guy for not only reacting actually a little more civil than you should've, but because god knows whatever words come from my posts or even texts, god forbid they remind you consistently of what you've done. Everything I am and everything I do now is because of you..

Days I'm angry, I blame you

Days I'm depressed, It's your fault

Days I cut, blamed you because just the little bit of open honesty wouldve prevented me cutting myself, but only to relieve that pain that I cant get out through crying.

Its the pain that makes your chest ache and have the urge to just scream in agony. Its that lodged in lump that swells in your chest when everything that was promised, shared, and enjoyed together now sets this darkened, and dead look to it. I find myself shying away from every and any little thing that you had any relations to. My music has changed. My faith in life itself is nonexistent. Ive become so angry and bitter, that I am constantly snappy.

It doesnt matter how angry I were to get with anyone else, because every one probably tells you I'm fine.....

I'm not fine

Im not ok

I'm suffocating myself

Its hard to not still be bitter....

How can I not still be angry when you left once again.....ive been irrational and disrespectful, but I never thought that this unfortunate outcome would involve me getting worse....I figured at some point within these four years .....I figured you wouldve not done this so much that I'm probably permanently fucked up....I mean fucking look at me...have you ever seen anyone so pathetic and humiliating?....

Loving someone is so beautiful but sad, because when you fall for someone, there's some part of you that breaks too, its gone for ever because its with that person you wanted to give your whole heart to, but they'll only always have what's actually left of you. For some reason being in that persons presence or just respected enough to be even thought about by them, makes life worth living even if I were to spend it alone. Its not because you lack feelings or really the past that I held over your head....I just wanted for someone to finally treat me differently.....

You wound up treating me the same

This is my unfortunate outcome

Its been a battle especially the last two years

I've never in my life have I ever felt so much pain

Ive never loved anyone as much as I love you

The unfortunate outcome for you is me being gone when you want to come back

I already know how it's to be

Its why I never understood you

But I still kept trying to

Maybe that was my mistake

Because my unfortunate outcome is the distance between us and how little I've meant within the last couple years....idk myself what you could ever do to make things better.....

Unfortunate outcome is what's done is done....

Its ruined

We're ruined

Were gone....

The end....

Hope you're doing well.....

Sorry for being impulsive and annoying

I'm sorry for being a fucked up mess.

Wishing you a lifetime of happiness....

Wishing you luck on your endeavors

Ill miss you

I have been already

Life just won't ever be the same. I just know if it was went about differently I would be able to handle the sudden blocked phone and Tumblr better than what I am now. I'm wasting mt time is the sad thing because I'm sire you're thought is why if I'm to be the way I was before, well, it would be nice to have at least that wanting to talk to me or even asking things sbout my life. I literally have been wanting to fit in, and I'm sorry I tried to get in your way. I'm sorry for being this way period.....in sorry I can't bring myself to be better.....I literally feel like I have no other place to go or anything to do.....I should be doing soemthing with my life, bur in not.....only bevause I spend every day trying to avert seeing or even tbe chance to see you kr anything related to you That will rip my chest right then and there.

It's those things I want to feel better about.....I want to be able to see you without getting so severely depressed. That's the last unfortunate outcome, because of that, how I feel.....I think it's best if we just never saw each other ever again......Obviosuly you're already on that route but if that's really what you want, then you really will not ses me ever again. I mean you can scream yell my name. I will not look at any part of you.....I'm prudent because maybe youre right, just sticking with avoiding them, and I guess you do lose some feeling. I hate being like this. Idk what else to do. I dont need your help. I need your understanding. I dont need to be questioned, at least at what I'm doing, because idk anymore.....I get flustered easily because my mind stays so caught up on you that I fuck up everything I touch or work on.....then it goes back to the angry blaming you thing.....never ending......so how can I get better? What do I do? You just left. You didn't leave a note, you didnt say goodbye, and of all things I've ever done for you, you never helped my unfortunate outcomes...you rejected me time and time again.

I just idk how to be ok.....

I just feel like I'm losing touch with my existence

As in because you live in my mind so much I try to avoid that too....I've become a blank spaced emotionless robot....I'm depressed but I look solemn. I then break soon as I snap.....I'm getting worse.....idk its so hard to put into words. I just feel myself losing control over everything including my decisions.....

Whether you believe me or not.....I don't care to convince you anymore. Honestly I'm not even doing that now. I just needed to get what I could out....atleast While its flowing....well it was....I think I explained the best I could and linked the way I think...

Respond or don't respond

Respectfully, I'm refraining from tagging your blog name in the post. If you see it and or read it then its actually ok if you don't ever speak to me again.....I mean you're the one in charge and I know if you don't soeak first, then there's just nothing left to do but just hope you enjoy life.

Take care of yourself Kourt.....thanks for everything.....