#yes my migraine is back | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hannibal-is-my-comfort-show · 1 year ago

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icewindandboringhorror · 7 months ago

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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things #out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever #all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever #or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple #and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already #done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and #all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3 #my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster #talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo #I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache #or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop #e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all #sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef #t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of #way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I #think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i #gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant #mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain #or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right #now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like #most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once #that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY #Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth

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bisexualamy · 2 months ago

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sometimes it feels like stealing valor to say I’m chronically ill bc I don’t have One Big Thing wrong with me just a small cluster of chronic disorders, but sometimes I think about the fact that I need 2-3 specialists and a minimum of 4 daily medications to function enough to hold down a job and friendships and I just cannot believe people’s bodies and brains just… work.

#my neurologist gave me a referral to a pain specialist today bc after 6 years I’m still having a minimum of 8 migraines a month #and they can’t figure out why #they were like ‘do you have neck and jaw pain’ and I’m like ‘yes every day of my life sometimes my jaw pain is so bad I can’t chew’#and like. I know that’s not normal but to me I’ve lived with it for so long that just like #I believe that my body will always be in like 2-4 level pain #I’ve had this kind of pain since I was like 12/13 and everyone told me I was too young to have back and neck pain #so I just figured that everyone was in this kind of pain and every time I learn that’s not true I’m shocked and I never learn my lesson #tho I think part of it is that I’ve been living with my pain for so long it’s the background noise of my life and it’s just my normal #I don’t think to fix my normal #ren speaks

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heartshattering · 7 months ago

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5 AM

Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃

#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous #and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep #I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :')#way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip #I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home #(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh)#my best friend and I were having a conversation today #and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?'#and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too #BUT I also get what she meant #not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy'#and fun fact #a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!!#which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like #the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!!#and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes #(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me)#'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever #same with my mom's hallucinations as well #and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again #which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that'#fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything #like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds #and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well #which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up #I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today #didn't eat #took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all #had too much caffeine #stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking

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jorvikzelda · 8 months ago

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today i had this Vivid memory flash through my mind of kissing my ex boyfriend (this was like 2018) and i felt so viscerally fucking revolted and I gotta say. it is truly impressive that I didn’t realise I’m a lesbian sooner than fucking half a year ago

#z talks #like the misidentifying as ace was Inevitable i think. that was due to repression that realising i didnt like men would not have fixed #(context: id’d as bi ace like. i wanna say 2016/17-2021/22 sometime and then went into ace and Questioning)#remember the time i really solidly settled on being aro because ‘romance has never not felt like a chore and putting on a facade’#babe no thats because your most recent and also singular long term relationship was with a Man #and thats the only one youre looking back on #its so funny how i dated a guy and it was so thoroughly Meh that i just didnt feel like pursuing anything romantic for a very long time #(A REACTION I HAD NOT HAD AFTER MY PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS WITH GIRLS)#And DIDN’T somehow consider that maybe I just Didn’t Like Guys #its nothing i grieve or feel sad about dw its honestly mostly funny to look back on #no wrongs were committed and i dont hold a grudge against the guy it was just me being confused and compheted #(…which is also a weird word to apply because at the time i identified and was out to my friends as a trans guy Binary.#This Was Also Wrong.)#was a weird time man. a truly weird time #anyway. all is well i have now been on 2 dates with a really cute girl and she gave me tulips <3 #as part of a Care Delivery bc i had a Migraine and No Painkillers Or Snacks #get well flowers <333333 #and now i dream of kissing her under the moonlight #With the uh. Hornetposting lately it May seem unlikely but yes I DO interact with real women! Romantically!#They coexist Wonderfully <3 #Anyway. I’m gonna go to bed #Realising that im a lesbian solved all my identity problems including my fucking gender which is just fantastic #I am very happy and whenever I think of being a lesbian it grounds me to reality a little bit stronger and i go yeah. Yeah.

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myspineisthebassline · 5 months ago

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*blocks yuor path*

#irvart #i want to work on more refs tonight but i have a gay ass migraine. woe io be upon ye #i dont even have a tag for them on my blog NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #cat io #<-as opposed to moon io. who is also an oc #lower back brace io BE UPON YE!!!!!

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lunapwrites · 10 months ago

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LTL Harry: I'm never speaking to Remus again, he can go fuck off to Antarctica for all I care, hope he drowns.

LTL Wolfstar:

For filth, you say?

#also LTL Harry: OKAY BUT IS HE OKAY #NOT THAT I CARE OR ANYTHING #Sirius over here like ah yes #my master plan is working #sneaky bastard lol #meanwhile remus in the back like #just let the boy be mad at me ffs #i earned it #Sirius: no #Remus: 😐 y tho #literally like a man begging his dog to drop it #anyway they both love him a lot #Remus just has the big dumb #and Harry is Fifteen #and Sirius has a migraine lol #LTL ch 20 #which I'm definitely still writing promise #lp writes #hp

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martyrbat · 1 year ago

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batman secret files: clownhunter

(ID in alt!)

#on one hand i can see why they would want to make jason a mentor to bao and all because parallels #but on the other.... i think jason and bao would been boring real fast #jason is like... older brother coded. bao needs his shitty uncle (khoa) it makes things funnier #plus i feel like once again its trapping jason in the ‘i cant exist without my life revolving around the joker’ loop hes been in #which is annoying and just wrong when people imply that to bruce and like... i get why jason it may be more true since yknow.#his life was cut short by him then he was forcefully brought back to life and it's personally traumatizing #but i still think it makes for such boring writing and doesn't allow the character to ever grow or change.#they wont let jason exist without that joker b-plot and if he takes on a kid that also been personally traumatized by him #then jason wont be allowed to potentially grow from it unless they make it about him caring about bao more and moving on because of that #but also... bao is like... 14....#him having khoa as a mentor allows him to have more opportunities and experiences so he doesn't become joker based #like hes always gonna have that hatred for him. his life was changed by him and his parents murder.#but thatd be the ripple effect to cause him to be a vigilante and everything (like how it did with bruce) instead of his entire life #revolving around just the clowns and never growing from it. gotta have a nice contrast y'know??#does any of this make sense? no. I'm sleepy and have a migraine.#am i gonna post it anyways and cringe in the morning when i reread it and realize people also can perceive my rambling brain mush? yes </3 #c: batman secret files: clownhunter #crypt's panels #jason todd #red hood #bao pham #clownhunter

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astramachina · 10 months ago

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man. the worst part about losing my goddamn blog is the fact that people did not in fact tag the art they made for my one fic either by title or username so now i have no way to find any of it to reblog it to this one so like :)

i'm strangling staff as i type.

#texts.#i've had a low grade migraine since the big red button was pushed yesterday.#those were my emotional support mutuals you pieces of shit! that was my meticulously organized and tagged fandom museum!#that's where i posted all the cringe i can't bring myself to post on main!!!!#ALL MY RICKY LORE POSTS #yes i've contacted support no i haven't heard jackshit back

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parin-gurumin · 5 months ago

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Although I don't particularly care about popularity or receiving attention, due to the nature of how my experience on twitter has been like these past few years, I have always enjoyed the Tumblr experience far more than any other platform. People are far more likely to interact by means of overall reblogging and adding comments in the tags, it's very sweet and motivating.

I came back to homestuck after A DECADE because of me having a rough, mentally and emotionally draining week because my impulsive thinking was like, "Hey man, fuck it, how far into Homestuck do you think I can read before I get help. (from discord support for context)" I had never actually read it when I was a kid because I just didn't have the attention span and willpower to read through SO much dialogue. I only ever interacted with it by means of just celebrating it as a fan who never actually read it, but liked it nonetheless. Of course now that I am a grown ass adult who can make their own conscious decisions and actually has the time and whatever to actually both appreciate AND enjoy reading extensively I am enjoying homestuck way more than I ever did before. I know that because of the death of flash (fuckin rip, dude, AWFUL) and extensive information about Hussie (TO PUT IT LIGHTLY) have since made getting into the comic a bit of a hassle and a choice it makes me wish I had actually read it at its best performance.

But, back on topic, twitter and other socials have the tendency to be particularly attached to trend hopping and sticking with what's currently doing numbers. Because, again, I don't care about dabbling in trends I just do what I want and ultimately that causes people to just not care about what I create. I have grown very apathetic towards my art and due to academic trauma from having been in a private art college with a low acceptance rate I have been in art burn out hell for literal years. The mix of both nobody caring about my art and my own rocky broken relationship with art made me extremely unmotivated yet long for the joys of creation once more.

Whenever I post here specifically it brings me joy again, it makes me realize that YES PEOPLE ACTUALLY DO CARE ABOUT AND ENJOY WHAT I MAKE NO MATTER WHAT IT MAY BE AND ITS CURRENT POPULARITY. I'm very happy seeing the same faces in the likes and/or rbs for my posts. I'm very happy seeing the same person revisit and reblog it for a second time or more. I'm very happy with how close and genuine it feels. (in a non-parasocial way) I'm just glad that despite this site being in a perpetual state of uncertainty, run by a skeleton crew, functions like shit, current CEO is a moron and the site is set to sail until it dies naturally it became the most genuine feeling of the social platforms ESPECIALLY for art.

I know this has gotten very longwinded and is essentially chaotic practically emotional rambling but like, thank you!!!!!!!!!

I have more stuff to come and from the bottom of my heart genuinely appreciate everyone's support here, it actually means the world to me. THANK YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!

MY OLD ART BTW!!!!!! anything that's not in that small 2021 corner is 2013-early 2014

#wrenchspeaks #literally had me crying by the end of writing this like right now yes i am crying not from sadness but from gratitude and idk happiness?#yes i am a broken 25 year old but by god i am trying to get back on track #yes i liked kankri a lot as a kid and now nothing has changed besides me having become like him just not negatively anymore #i was him in a negative way leading up to 2021 and it bit me in the ass majorly #also being a mentally fucked up grown ass adult is some of the most humiliating shit you could go through like ohhhh grow up I ALREADY DID #AND WHAT DID IT PROVIDE FOR ME? THATS RIGHT TONS OF EMOTIONAL AND MENTALLY TWISTED BAGGAGE AND JUST MADE ME #WORSE but hey man. hey. hey. i can be independent allegedly but i promise i am medicated i just need to eventually start #antipsychotics and get back into therapy but i lose insurance this year and bro i have no business talking about all this here. if youre #still reading all this nonsense hi uhhhh whats up ummmm twirls strand of hair like yknow i will make charms #and hopefully make money cause i don't think i can get a job with my issues and problems with shit like chronic migraines but whateverrrrrre

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c0rvidfagg0try · 1 year ago

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Me standing over here projecting my disabilities onto fictional characters like a proud dad showing off there son who got 3rd place in baseball

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majimassqueaktoy · 1 year ago

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I just went on to Tumblr search to find you and check what you've been up to.

..... I had a brain fart and typed in Jess instead of your Tumblr name then corrected it to Majima so you'd show up.

Literally "I wonder what Jess has been up to, Tumblr find Jess..... wait...."

tumblr, tell me how jess has been

hmmmmmmmm

#did i type jess into the search bar? yes.#always funny when theres jess/jessie characters bc my brain is like im p sure you and jessie from toy story were the originals < insane #nice you thought of me😁#i got sick with a flu like 2 months back and at some point it left but developed a migraine which lasted like 12 days #and now its just more coming and going but the doc wanted me to get another brain scan #even though i only just got one ? last? year #i think last year? idk time is fake #i got that on monday #but otherwise i been chill just sleeping a lot #still need to play dead souls ive just been too tired to plug the ps3 in lmaooo #so yes very boring lol #thanks for thinkin of #me though <3 #ask

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clanoffelidae · 11 months ago

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It’s always ‘man I wish I was at home’ until you actually have a reason to stay home because you feel bad and then it’s ‘man I wish I was at work because that would mean I didn’t feel awful’

#same goes for when i was in school lol #if i actually stayed home that was because i was SufferingTM #and no matter how much even college sucked with undiagnosed adhd #i would rather be dragging myself through classes than having a cyclic vomiting episode yknow lol #(for those unfamiliar: largely unknown condition - believed to be related to migraine headaches)#(which i agree with because yknow how migraines have a distinct ‘quality’ of burning - throbbing pain like your head will explode?)#(for me it’s exactly that but my stomach - the organ stomach not just my abdomen in general)#(would be 16-30 hours of feeling like my stomah is about to rupture from being so swollen despite being empty)#(with light and sound sensitivity)#(and nausea and vomiting)#(with the only pain relief being maybe 30-60 seconds after vomiting before the pain starts building back up)#(because there’s no known pain medication that helps 👍)#(yeah my brother in christ i would rather take 3 final exams i didnt study for completely unmedicated)#(i always want to stay home until i actually feel bad enough to do so)#(and then it’s ‘ah yes - be careful what you wish for’ lol)#(this is why i know how to make myself vomit because while i have no desire to throw up food)#(no bullemia or the like i assure you)#(it was the ONLY way to get even a MOMENTS relief from the pain)#(and it also helps to stop my migraines or at least reduce them)#(so - i have tips for self inducing vomiting lol)

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reginaofdoctorwho · 11 months ago

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trying very very hard to not want to break up with my boyfriend

#i love him so much #and i know he loves me #but my anxiety or depression or both or whatever it is is fucking me up again #and i don't want it to fuck him up too #i can't talk about it with him because yeah he already knows i have problems with it #and he's told me before to tell him if it starts getting bad again #but also his ex would do that shit to guilt him into not breaking up w her #(like sh-ing and showing him after as a guilt trip thing)#and his grandpa shot himself and he was really fucked up by it #and like i don't think i'm gonna do THAT #but i don't want to bring those memories up for him #i just feel like shit all the time my eating and sleeping is getting affected i'm getting migraines more #i failed out of my college program by 10 points on the final (or 4 on final and 1 on every other test)#i just feel like shit #i already had to fucking ask him to keep a bag of shit i could sh with so that i couldn't get to it #which is gonna be a fucking trip trying to get back #and YES i will eventually need to get it back since half that shit were gifts #and if i break up with him i'll need to get it back before then #like my fucking emotions are getting fucked too #he got covid a couple weeks ago and we had to miss a concert i was looking forward to since september #which is fine he's fine everyone is fine #but i was close to fucking crying and my mom made me go out with her and my brother since she needs help with him sometimes #so i had to fucking numb #which i'd been trying not to do #and today he mentioned that he was hanging out with his friends NYE #he forgot we had plans for NYE to be together #kiss at midnight all that shit #and he was like 'i'm so sorry i thought you were busy i forgot we made plans i can still hang out with you'#but mentioned how he'd have to pick me up and then drive home super late after #zel starts to dwell

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filet-o-feelings · 1 year ago

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I think I have a problem when I have tumblr open on my laptop and find myself also scrolling the tumblr app on my phone 🤦‍♀️

In my defense, I was using my phone to quickly find blogs to recommend my best friend (@fybeckibug) to follow now that she's back on tumblr after meeting some fandom friends in real life and realizing how awesome everyone is, so I had them both open and it's just habit to scroll mindlessly at this point.

#I'm so glad I convinced her to go to Boston with me #I'm so glad I convinced myself to say yes to meet ups #I'm a little sad that there were so many people there that I didn't even get a chance to meet everyone #best weekend ever even with a migraine #oops my little post about tumblr addiction turned into more talk of The Boston Trip #I want to go back

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svnmouth · 1 year ago

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I think getting a hysterectomy would either help with my migraine issues or just give me different problems but I wont be able to know until next year minimum and even then I dont know if I can do a second surgery so soon. the way that birth control just utterly and completely fucks you over when youre starting it, when youre on it, and when youre getting off it is so. Idk if its even worth it to change my birth control if Im gonna get a hystrectomy in the vague soonish future even if I feel like absolute dogshit for an entire month for 1/3rd of the year.

#I take it back on whatever post I made recently about hrt. I think its making my migraine issues worse.#I would take back the smell issue over migraines that have me searching basic math to make sure Im still doing 3x3 correctly #in my head. and like. being unable to read more than a paragraph or two at a time.#honestly. Im really mad at myself for being caught off guard by that doctor and telling her I was on testosterone.#because now I have to jump through stupid fucking hoops to get a hysterectomy and shit and who knows what wouldve happened if I was able to #pretend I was cis. Im pissed about it. and OFCCCCCC she says 'yes I will make sure not to mention the trans thing outside of my notes!'#and WHAT does she label the appointment as?????? literally mentioning Im trans in the big ass header that my new primary doctor immediately #saw. like come on girl do your job better than this.#life sucks being disabled when you have to do all this crap. cant just Schedule a Surgery you have to go get approved by insurance and then #make sure someone can bring you and also you have food you can actually eat during recovery and take time off work and worry about money an #then find out insurance did not approve the surgery AT the appt and then you have to wait another 2 months to reschedule the surgery and do #all of the above alllll over again. but like even worse.#bro Im so stressed about money all the time my moms bills keep going up and her bills cost more than my monthly paycheck. its bad out here.#anyway. my nightly tag rant.

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