#yes i am projecting system things onto them

[ccruelgods]

jekyll and hyde getting stuck midtransformation either due to the potion not being made with the correct measurements or because of external emotional or physical reasons. the resulting person, if you can even call them that, is just a blur of the two, some mix between reckless and logical, not able to place themself to a specific identity

[sanshofox]

At this point I am really wondering how the entertainment industry, especially gaming industry, is going to uphold/maintain themselves.

One layoff after another. How are people from that industry supposed to find a new job there when layoffs are happening everywhere? Do studios really think there’s longevity when they aren’t even willing to hire newcomers/juniors so there‘s adequate supply in the work force? Because look at how it’s currently going: investors want more and more money, the workload increases, but people are getting fired, leaving a smaller team to do said work, even distributing them for 2 or 3 projects at the same time, only to crash in a burnout or in later years go into retirement. Then who’s left? AI? Are you kidding me? As if games aren’t becoming more and more repetitive anyway, because of some „safe recipe for good numbers“ strategy. Creativity and the people behind it are suffering.

It’s been almost 2 years since I saw a junior 3D character artist offer. Ever since then it’s been a desert. And it’s not looking all too bright in other departments either. It’s now even a thing in job descriptions where they want you to have „AI abilities“. So as a junior or regular they want you to feed their machine, so in a few years they can fire you. The audacity.

Another audacity are those layoffs just to rehire people for a smaller price (can’t tell me otherwise. For me this is a tactic to put pressure on the work force to say yes to less money otherwise they will stay jobless). People that made projects what they are today, who are seniors and leads for a reason, out of a job just like that. Make it make sense (it doesn’t).

Studios like ubisoft now openly saying that they want to focus on AI, like assets completely made by AI to „save time and money“ and expand AI onto more fields. Shame on them.

The way creative industries like gaming finance themselves is also their biggest poison. And I only see a solution in that by regulating investors demands and upper positions sheaningans. They can’t have „absolute power“ anymore. It’s destructive and greedy and not realistic. Games can not be linearly successful. For the game design „recipe“ to improve it needs iteration just like when you work in a project for example and work on a design that needs to be iterated until it‘s improved or solid even. We see time and time again that „business/numbers people“ and creatives do not go hand in hand. We see an extreme imbalance.

I would predict that with less creative new input and letting mainly AI do the work consumers will be less and less entertained because everything seems to be and look the same. It will stagnate. And then crumble. And the industry needs to start like it did before. And that’s what I guess for the big companies.

With the layoffs happening and not enough job offers in return I could see that big talents get together to build their own studios now and we may get an era of new successful and growing studios happening that may even replace the current triple A studios one day in the future. They may even change the financing game. We saw successful games happening through platforms like kickstarter more often. So it might lead back to a „power to the people“ thing. Having an idea for a project and seeing if enough people agree and invest to see it happening. There’s room for improvement in that system. That’s all what it leads back to; in the end the consumers need to be satisfied to make it a creative and monetary success. BG3 and larian studios was a good example for that. It’s what made coral island grow and grow too. So there‘s potential.

Feel free to comment your theories. I really would like to see what others think about the current state of gaming studios and how it will or could develop.

[prettyboykatsuki]

This is a weird thought piece question so if you don’t wanna answer it’s okay. But genuinely as a character I think Katsuki is very aware of people he cares about. Almost in an Izuku type of obsessive way, maybe less intense and prone to writing it down, lol. But as I trust your perspective on him a lot I wanted to ask, do you think he’s the type of person as a friend or significant other or potential person, to be aware of insecurities?

Or to care genuinely? For example if you were insecure about your size. Do you think he would be aware of that and be silent? Or would he love the insecurity in spite of your feelings? Or does he not really think twice because he cares about you and doesn’t know you would even feel that way. It’s a weird dilemma I ran into wanting to write a piece for him and I realized I couldn’t figure it out. Hopefully I am explaining myself properly?

Thank you 😭

i understand what u mean lol dw and i think if u read some of my pieces my stance on this aspect of him is hard to grasp bc i dont often write more insecure readers. mostly bc i think its a little bit harder to write well as it requires more nuances but thats a diff can of worms jdhfkj

i think its important to understand less so what bakugou does and does not care about and moreso the way he process information - which is largely intuitive.

like i do understand what you are asking and because bakugou is bakugou - yes, i think he is probably aware of these things. he picks up on them often and usually uses them in some context when throwing insults or even in more light hearted interactions.

but a lot of bakugous informational processing is based on a pragmatic, systemic and reason based way of thinking. and a lot of what impedes that way of acting is his own emotional state. in the beginning of the series, he's a lot more insecure in himself and he projects that onto other people. it causes him to act in very irrational and ridiculous ways

however by the end of the series, katsuki s a fully processed and emotionally realized man. so he defaults to a more elevated, calm and secure version of himself that relies on what he's best at which is using his intuition to draw conclusions and implementing a reason based plan. before he was doing that just with logic.

but he has the emotional tuning to also do this in his relationships and he's taken a lot of time to learn to navigate them.

so i think in a partnership, it's unlikely that he does not know at all. i think he probably picks up on the insecurity in smaller ways but does not put a real name to it (i.e. i dont think he thinks of it consciously / actively) until something comes up which forces him too do it

and that something would be if its putting his partner in any kind of serious emotional distress or comes up frequently as a reason for their upset.

katsuki has this line he says very famously says to shouto "there's no way you could've noticed something that i didnt but lets hear it anyway." and he's being passive aggressive af lol but there is some merit to that.

he's a very keen person naturally and he spends a significant amount of time with you - so he definitely knows to an extent. maybe no actively, maybe not consciously - but just an intuitive understanding.

however, because he loves you - he will only intervene when he thinks its necessary to do so. and this isn't because he doesn't care about you, but because he specifically had to handle his own insecurity and he knows firsthand what you're experiencing in himself.

but katsuki loves you and also has a lot of faith in you. he will push if he thinks you need to be pushed, and he will assure if he thinks you need to be assured. he's a good partner in that way. but for the most part, he won't interfere because he trusts in you as a person to overcome things. insecurity is not something that can be mended by another person if it's within yourself, but it can be healed when it's reframed to you by someone who loves you.

and if you need that from katsuki he will undoutedly give it to you. but he trusts you to handle business basically. so not in a bad way, he treats your insecurities as simply being apartof you.

he doesn't have any feelings about the insecurity itself. he's not lying when he says that. but thats because he loves you more as an amalgalm of all the parts of you. his view of you is rounded out and he sees all of it as you. if he loves you, he loves you. there's nothing that needs to be changed as longs as its you. so he has no opinion on if you like or dislike something. you are you no matter who you are or what you look like.

bakugou is very explicitly not shallow. appearances in love are generally unimportant to him. he falls in love with people not looks even when people don't believe that because he's so pretty lmao

[allpiesforourown]

Hey, so sorry to be using your inbox like a fuckin confessional, but getting that dream thing off my chest literally cleared my skin and I've just got this itch that needs to be addressed so I'm taking it out on you again. Reflecting on this thought the second after I had it made me think, "Oh, I get what Shen Yuan was on about now," and so here I am, typing this shit out ig. fucking embarrassing, anyway.

So, like. I watch those gacha react videos on youtube. Like a concerning amount of those gacha react videos, man. I fuckin love them so much, even if I wouldn't admit to it under pain of death to anyone I know or love. I have a seperate youtube channel I made under a fake email that I made specifically to watch them. It's bad. I remember back when it was just me and the FF.net filter system before they added the 'Without' section at the bottom and trying to find crossover content in the LoZ tag between games. 10th circle of hell; my 13th reason. Gacha react videos in concept are heavensent for my inner child, and on the rare occasion I find one of those 'fandom react' series that are active or complete and well done, it grants me joy on par with nigh nothing else.

This being said, I understand that the main demographic for this content tends to be a handful of years younger than me. I've seen community posts on some channels mentioning their time in college, but these are few and far between in my experience. I appreciate these teen's artistry in putting these all together, because god knows I'm not, but like,,, --and I know I sound like an ass right now but bare with me-- it feels like with the conclusion of Arcane came a flood of reaction videos with no real substance. I've watched upward of what feels like thirty seperate videos --at least,-- on the show and its the same ten to twenty edits I've seen on repeat and I'm watching them by pressing the skip key and catching half the dialouge only to come out the other side tired and a little miffed. Then I feel bad, because they created something and all I did was mindlessly consume and feel entitled to complain. Ugh.

Now, Because I've been cycling through these almost cookie cutter videos for ages --I used Arcane vids as an example before because its recent and relevant, but I do have this take for a whole slew of the fandoms I watch react videos on, and I picked this addiction up in 2021 so it's been a minute-- I've begun predicting the dialouge before it's come up and projecting what I hope the author will say. If I see a video with, for example, Giyuu from kny seeing Sabito in a video, I hope to see shock, yes, but also to see him comment or think about how he hasn't seen his face in so long, you know? Just... things that aren't just "OMG!!" or making the characters eyes widen. I've found now that I seek out these videos for the slim chance that they'll provide me with the satisfaction I get from these moments of true understanding with the presented characters.

Yes, I know that there really isn't any "true" way to understand a character, and that while we are all entitled to our own interpretations of media, the insistence that mine alone is more "right" or "correct" is bullshit, but I'm not saying that my preference has to be law, only that I get a rush of happiness whenever something I like happens to pop up in a video that I was already checking out of because it failed to really,,,,wow me. This is my bias speaking, of course, but its also the reality of my situation borne from overconsumption of this genre.

But anyway, onto the main point of how this relates to svsss. I was watching a video just a minute ago --an Arcane video, big shocker I know-- where there was a line from the creator's Vander character about how he wasn't ready to see Vi so grown up, because to him she's still his little girl. I thought, "Yes!!! This!! He's a father! He's showing realistic reactions to seeing your child suddenly grown up, and while he's proud of the woman she became, he still loves her as she is in the moment!!" ....I then watched the rest of the reaction, and was left cold and disappointed in the end. I'd clicked for Viktor, got three videos of him in a twenty minute reaction when the rest was the same four edits of jinx on repeat. Love you Jinx, but holy fuck. I thought then, "God, what a waste of potential." The creator of the video had insightful dialouge, clearly a decent grasp on character interaction, and the drive to create the video in the first place, but settled for pumping out another copy of the same video they've released three times previous on the same channel.

Then I thought, "Oh, like PIDW."

I need to get a life, Tumblr user allpiesforourown. If your blog wasn't so damn entertaining, I might even go out and touch grass one day. Take responsibility, damn.

(ty for reading my rant, if you did. have a good day regardless.)

I think you watching gacha react videos for characterization might be the one and only thing more baffling than Shen Yuan reading porn for plot. Hope you find gacha videos of Vander teaching his daughter how to ride a bike

[cainightfics]

instead of answering all the asks individually, im just going to address the main question in one post...

where have i been? am i coming back?

tldr: 1) lots of places 2) yes

to answer in greater detail, it rly all begins with the night i made the horrible decision to hit submit on my application to grad school: december 15 2022. now i would not say grad school in itself has been horrible. my last life update in 2023 i was super broke and not doing well-- since then ive gotten scholarships, funding, and job opportunities, so contrary to most people's experience with grad school ive actually appreciated a (mostly) very financially stable existence here. i am just, to put it bluntly, tired. over the past 2 years, due to both my education and the general state of the world, ive had very little will to write fic. ive spent much of my time producing academic work or writing fiction elsewhere. i burned out bad writing my graduating honours thesis in 2023 and have been bombarded with similarly draining long term projects since. i became a semi-notable scholar in my micro-field and have been at conferences all around the world, on projects funded by the government, teaching classes etc but im ready for it to be over. im glad to have had the experience, but when i graduate in a couple months, i won't miss the mental exhaustion. im the type of person that values my freedom too much for all that.

aside from that, ive had 10 jobs in the last 2 years and been doing tons of random shit lol. i learned pretty early on into grad school that despite my success here, academia is really not my thing, so to deal with my disillusionment i started just doing whatever the fuck on weekends. why am i disillusioned? because there is systemic rot that becomes increasingly ridiculous and hypocritical the further up you get, most things you do are either pointless or happen on such a slow timeline they are rendered pointless through the slog, and because it's basically a pyramid scheme.

beyond the structural issues, a lot of people here are... kind of dumb. or maybe not dumb, but disappointing. i haven't made any friends here. that's definitely partially my fault, but also, i just don't find a lot of these people super inspiring or interesting or fun. i think im kind of the crazy person of my program lol. as some of you may know from my previous ask replies i have a very pessimistic and doomer mentality... and something about the insularity and toxic optimism of many ppl in academia bothers me. also you know when you can tell someone has never had the formative experience of working in customer service and being screamed at, assaulted, or threatened by a customer? and so without that formative experience they are annoyingly fresh and naive and innocent and nervous about everything and haven't been beaten down by life in a way that's made them more chill and empathetic? imagine that but it's every person in the room because you are at an elite school known for nepotism and everyone there grew up rich. yeah.

so onto the random shit ive been doing. ill just include the highlights

- found and raised a baby raven

- lived in the woods and survived off shoplifting and fishing for a portion of the winter

- became a cowboy for a bit

- harvested weed for two days, never got paid

- also randomly worked on a pirate ship for like 4 hrs

- went to mexico with 100usd

- went to nyc and visited e corp and elliots house and realized for myself how much elliots commute in-show doesn't make sense lol

- got a job at a maid cafe bc i thought it would be funny and they guilted me into working there for a full month

- very nearly got arrested while trying to ride the rails, had to hide in a cold metal rail car for 2 hrs in the middle of nowhere while i was literally hunted down

- for a while got very into the idea of becoming a hermit and living in a cave (may still revisit this in some way)

those are kind of the highlights! and the whole time i was plagued by the thought that i needed to go back to ao3 and finish what i started....

on a serious note, ive realized over the past 2 years that im not really built for a stable life. its not that i look down on it per say, i just can't do it. im incompatible with the life we are "supposed" to live according to the current cultural hegemony. what i enjoy is reading for fun, writing for fun, exploring, investigating, solving puzzles. when i feel stifled and overwhelmed, i can't focus on that. i do think the experience of grad school has helped me grow, but the development is almost negative-- that was my shot at taking a normal trajectory, or at trying to find validation and solace in a traditional setting. i realized the feedback and sort of affective dialectic of interacting with you, of writing and having my work read by an audience who shares the same interests as me, is far more fulfilling than what ive been doing. im really looking into trying to pursue a life where i can be somewhat self sufficient and have lots of time (and not just time, mental energy!!) for creative stuff. i have become increasingly pessimistic about our collective future and about The State Of Things, but at the same time, ive found existential freedom in giving up on the life everyone tells me i should be living

so anyways. if u feel inclined, i'd like to know what you've been up to as well!!

[khaire-traveler]

Is it the gods, an imposter/trickster spirit, or your own trauma?

The reason I am choosing to make this post is because I've seen an increase in the trickster/imposter spirit talk in polytheist and pagan spaces, and I feel like I have some personal experience with this that may be helpful to share with others. Whether you agree or disagree with me is entirely up to you, and I am not trying to force anyone to follow the same belief system as me, since we all have a different truth, but I wanted to share my take on things in case it can be useful to someone, so without further adieu, here we go.

I feel like there is a serious problem within pagan spaces of individuals projecting their personal traumas onto gods.

I'm just gonna outright say it: this is a very real problem within the pagan (and the polytheist) community. So, what exactly do I mean by this? How are people "projecting their traumas onto gods"?

When I say this, I don't mean to imply that people are doing this intentionally. In fact, I think that 99% of the time people are doing this without realizing it. It takes a serious level of self-awareness to recognize when one is projecting traumas onto a situation, and in my experience, therapy often aids significantly in making these types of discoveries; once you recognize it within yourself, sometimes you can also recognize similar behaviors in others (do not diagnose anybody with anything, though, or assume you know everything about them and their life).

Personally, I have done a lot of self-reflection and have become very aware of behaviors and experiences I've had in the past where I've projected my trauma onto the gods. For a lot of these experiences, at the time, I thought I was going through a situation with imposter spirits or "deity drama" (experiencing some kind of major drama with the gods), but looking back, I have spotted several underlying patterns (I suggest always looking for underlying patterns within your own situations; are your situations often very similar to each other, and do they remind you of situations from your past) within all of these scenarios - they have always been connected in one way or another, whether it be by the type of things the "gods" or "spirits" are communicating to me (what they are saying) or the type of situation I've gotten myself into with these entities (the type of drama I'm experiencing/how the situation plays out; e.g. it relates to some form of abandonment, hyper-criticism, emotional abuse, etc.).

In order to tell if these things are trauma-related, I've found that stopping and asking myself a few questions has been really helpful.

First, I asked myself, "When was the first time I felt this way in my life?" By that, I am asking myself when I first felt the emotion I'm feeling in the given situation (does this situation feel familiar, does this sense of sense of abandonment feel familiar, does this feeling of helplessness feel familiar, etc.). You'd be surprised how many times the answer to this question in a "negative experience with the gods" has been yes (100% of the time, actually).

The second question I ask myself is, "Would [insert deity name here] actually do [insert problem/bad experience here] to me?" Remember to think very critically about this question. It can be easy to think - especially if you have religious trauma - that some deity would really spend their time focused on "punishing" or berating you in particular, but realistically speaking, would a deity really spend their time tearing you down instead of lifting you up? Would they really spend their time telling you about how awful you are, how disappointed they are, how you're doing everything wrong, etc., especially if this is a deity you have been historically very close with? Why would this deity be upset with you in the first place? Now, sometimes deity DO get upset with us for our actions (and it is important to note that you may not click with every deity you encounter), but even then, keep in mind that deities are extremely mature and ancient beings; they aren't going to treat you in a cruel, or even abusive, manner. If you don't think deities are mature enough to treat and respect you as an actual person, maybe you should examine why you feel this way about them. Do you expect to be treated as less than a person by other people as well? Have you been treated this way in the past? Look for possible connections to your past traumas before completely discounting the idea that these beliefs are entirely unbiased.

With the third question, it's important to think very critically about your situation. "Why would [insert deity name here] treat me this way?" When answering this question, make sure to consider also asking yourself if you expect to be treated this way by other humans; the answer to that can be very telling. Some people also assume deities will treat them a certain way due to a deity's mythos. It's imperative to realize that a deity is often very different from their mythos in reality. Mythology isn't typically meant to be interpreted literally. Most of the time, mythology was there to explain things that didn't make sense to humans at the time, such as the seasons changing or the sun moving across the sky. Of course, that wasn't the only purpose of mythology, but it was one of the many. Along with that, deities were often paired with the cultural values of the time, such as Hades kidnapping Persephone being a common practice in ancient Greece when "taking a wife" or Zeus giving Persephone's hand in marriage without telling Demeter or Persephone first (fathers were seen as having the right to marry off their daughters, with or without consent). Consider the cultural context of a deity's mythos before immediately assuming a deity is accurately represented by it. Again, deities are extremely mature and ancient beings, so realistically, would such a wise, knowledgeable, and very mature being treat you in whatever way you think they're treating you now? Why do you think this?

A simple and easy answer for a deity acting out of character that people have come up with is "it's an imposter/trickster spirit", but...is it really? Or could it just be your personal traumas reflecting onto that deity? Do these situations feel a bit familiar to you? Do these harsh criticisms sound like something you'd maybe even say to yourself when in a negative state of mind? How would this spirit know how and when to target all of your deepest insecurities (spirits cannot just randomly read minds, in my experience)? Would it even be worth it for a spirit to impersonate a deity (think of the potential consequences they'd face for pretending to be a literal god; if humans were punished for their hubris, just think of what would happen to a spirit)? Would a deity really just allow some random spirit to impersonate them, and if so, why do you think this? Random spirits are not more powerful than literal gods - remember this. Do you think a god wouldn't at least try protect their worshippers from imposters in some way? Why would some spirit pretend to be a god anyway? What would they have to gain from you?

Rather than it being an imposter/trickster spirit "messing with you", could it really be your personal trauma manifesting itself within your mind?

A good example of something actually being trauma, within my personal life, is when I thought that Hermes was permanently leaving my life. After the fact, I blamed my experiences on an imposter/trickster spirit, but when I actually stopped and examined the situation, I realized it was a culmination of past traumas and fears coming to light and manifesting themselves within my mind. I began almost looking for reasons why Hermes would want to leave my life and told myself that he was going to "abandon" me, despite receiving tarot readings, and even some dreams, that were reassuring me Hermes was sticking around. I had constant nightmares about the situation, misinterpreted signs as being negative, and was constantly anxious about Hermes' perception of me. When I reflected on times in the past where I perceived to have been abandoned by others, I realized that this situation was eerily similar to these past traumatic events in my life. I took a step back from the situation, calmed my nerves as best as I could, and reproached the situation with a clearer and more stable mind. Sometimes taking that step back can help significantly in figuring out the true cause of a spiritual problem.

Why are deities so easy to project our traumas onto?

As is everything within this post, this is my personal opinion; you don't have to agree with me.

Personally, I believe deities act as mirrors into our subconscious. They reflect parts of ourselves that we choose to hide from, often to aid in our personal growth. Sometimes, though, they do this unintentionally, and I think it's something that's just inherent in their nature. I can't fully explain it, but it's definitely a phenomenon that I've seen time and time again within both my own practice and the practices of others.

As well as this, deities are intangible beings that we often cannot hear, see, or physically interact with. When you can't hear what someone is trying to say to you explicitly, your own biases and experiences often do the work for you in interpreting what that person is trying to communicate. It becomes alarmingly easy to assume that they're upset with you, randomly leaving your life forever, and so on. Think of a time where maybe a friend didn't respond to a text you sent and you thought they were upset at or ignoring you. When you have existing traumas involving people abandoning, ignoring, or even just being generally upset with you by not interacting with you, it becomes extremely easy to misinterpret the actions of others as something more malicious. It becomes extremely easy to project your past traumatic experiences onto completely unrelated situations and people. This is the same for deities, especially since you cannot hear, see, or physically interact with them.

What should you do if you discover that you've been projecting trauma onto a deity?

Chances are that if you've been projecting trauma onto a deity, they're already aware of it. In fact, they may have been trying to help reassure you or send communicate that the situation is not what it seems. You can find this is signs/reminders that they're still a part of your life, divination readings that everything is ok (despite you thinking or feeling otherwise), comforting dreams featuring the deity of symbols of said deity, and so on. Try looking for these signs and/or messages within your life, and see what you can find.

In rare cases, the deity may have been entirely unaware of the situation. I think, either way, it's best to communicate with this deity and tell them what you suspect has been going on. If you feel the need, you can offer an apology and maybe provide an offering as a way to make amends, but in my opinion, you never have to apologize for experiencing trauma and not knowing how to properly cope with it. Therapy exists for a reason, and trauma isn't something that you have to be ashamed of. Deities are very understanding and forgiving, and more than likely, they're not going to judge you for having potentially projected trauma onto them. In my experience, you have nothing to be afraid of.

If you're still unsure whether you are projecting trauma onto a deity or not, that's ok. Sometimes you never really get a concrete answer. When that happens, my advice is to move past the situation as best you can. You can give offerings to the deity and tell them, "I need to move past this situation with you because it is negatively affecting my mental health and well-being. When I am more stable/feeling better, we can readdress the issue," and take a step back from the problem for a while. It is more than ok to need space and time away from a deity or a situation to focus on your own wellness. If something is extremely triggering or upsetting for you, let your deity know, and take that step back that you need. You can always come back to the issue later, when you feel readier and more equipped to tackle the problem. Sometimes it just takes time for the issue to resolve itself, too. Either way, always prioritize yourself and your well-being.

Conclusion

It's clear that my stance regarding trickster/imposter spirits is simply that they aren't really a thing. This doesn't mean spirits can't be problematic (because they absolutely can), but I just personally feel that spirits aren't pretending to be gods. Spirits can certainly cause issues in other ways, such as messing with divination, causing you to feel uncomfortable/uneasy, or even being generally antagonistic towards you, but I don't personally believe they impersonate gods. It just doesn't seem realistic or worth it to me, especially when considering the fact that there will more than likely be massive consequences for such actions. It's more than ok if you disagree with me, but I'd like to ask that you don't reply to my post with an argument. This post is meant to give advice and share my personal thoughts, not start a debate about the existence of trickster/imposter spirits. To be completely honest, this is a triggering topic for me, but I wanted to make this post because I've seen so many new pagans and polytheists get discouraged or even straight up decline the opportunity to worship deities solely because they're scared of accidentally interacting with trickster spirits, and I want to reassure them by providing an alternative to out of character deity interactions. Plus, I haven't really seen anybody talk about this before, so I figured I'd hopefully shed some light on a topic that isn't usually discussed but is clearly a recurring issue within pagan and polytheist communities.

ANYWAY, thank you for reading this massive block of text! I hope it gave you some insight or at least a new perspective on this issue. Take care, and have a wonderful day/night! May your gods bless you, if you so wish them to. 🧡☺️

[313i]

i did the blorbo bingo with edling :3

ramble / explanations for my writing under cut!

for ling:

most fandom takes are incorrect: maybe it’s just me but ive seen a decent amount of people make ling out to be a pervert or just reduce him to a stupid silly character. ling yao is NOT A PERVERT! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM! he would never even do HALF OF THE THINGS YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!! and he is so far from just being a funny guy that makes the audience laugh. his motives and character as a whole are so incredibly strong and i’ve never been so fascinated with a character like ling yao. please give him more attention.

that also goes hand in hand w/ stop putting them in situations!!: he would not be looking up girls skirts or something 🙁 be kind to him i think he deserves the world also. the cast of fma consists of a bunch of 14-16 year olds who traveled across the world to fulfill what they feel is their destiny but they end up on a journey of pain and suffering instead. they are children they should be playing roblox and minecraft and brain rotting like me ……….. i need a 500 chapter fic of ling being happy and joyous and eating all the wonderful meat in amestris.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NOT ENOUGH CANON / UNDERRATED: as much as i love greedling and understand the combo … i wish ling got more screentime alone separate from greed. he is really such an interesting and unique character with a banging design and sometimes i feel greed robbed him of his iconic features (his yellow jacket & sword) and people just forget that greedling exists because ling was strong enough to withstand the homunculus in his system + LING IS THE BODY!!! he is serving that facecard and body 24/7 because that’s all ling yao!!! i still do really like greedling because they have a lot of room for interaction but i feel like ling yao is one of the characters who is often forgotten when it comes to merch n whatnot. he’s not as much of a main character as ed of course but he is just forgotten!! he is really such a cool character i wish there was more of him everywhere

there’s probably a deep seated reason why i love him: yes. because he is me and i am him (not really). i just project onto him and he is just me at this point! i will forever be such a huge ling yao fan the first time i watched fmab i instantly got attached to him i am so happy he is alive. i hope being the king of the yao clan is treating him well though he didn’t look to happy in that one photo of him as emperor….. it’s a tough job so i get it man! i hope he explodes

for edling:

pretty privilege: they are both pretty. brotherhood art style is a bit inconsistent at times i feel but their designs are both so gorgeous (their colors complement one another!). and also the bloodhell episode. ling yao fighting envy with his cool sword and handsome face…. ed somehow still looking pretty despite all the traveling and fighting. they are pretty!!!

projection had entered the chat: well, yes! who doesn’t project onto their faves??? :p

don’t typically discuss irl because of fandom: more and more people nowadays seem to forget fma franchise as a whole 🙁 it makes me so sad because this series is so fire and i wish it would keep its popularity but it obviously makes sense that more relevant shows and animes will overtake its light. i’m also afraid most people don’t like edling (edling nation consists of like 10 people) so i just don’t really talk about fma irl at all! no one here has a Fullmetal heart..

everything else is just me wanting to bite them (lovingly) and stuff them in my pocket and hold them in the palm of my hands to show them off to the world. i do not actually want to plot their demise and i am not actively doing so. i would put them in a wood chipper in a loving manner

for ed:

has done nothing wrong: he’s innocent, your honor… everything he’s ever done has been for his family. he’s committed a huge taboo in the alchemy world by trying human transmutation but him and al just wanted their moms back. they were TOO YOUNG TO BE ORPHANS AND HAVE TO GROW UP WITHOUT THEIR MOTHERS LOVE! he ended up becoming a dog for the military but he had to do what he had to do to get closer to that philosopher stone… in 03 he did end up taking some lives too i think. he’s only 15 and never intended to Actually murder someone. seeing him after the greed scene is so incredibly heartbreaking. 03 and cos are such horrific renditions of fma (in a good way) and it makes me so sad to think that’s how he ended up??? he had so much hope as a little kid and was so full of life but by 18 he’s stranded from the last bit of family he knew and is left a depressed alcoholic who keeps losing people. edward elric has done nothing wrong..

there’s probably a deep seated reason why i love him: even from the outside HE IS SUCH A COOL CHARACTER. a character who canonical has prosthetic limbs is already so cool. knowing the story behind those limbs and his brother is so 🙁☹️☹️… his iconic red jacket!!! his LEATHER PANTS WITH HIS PLATFORM BOOTS? his striking gold eyes and bright blonde hair? how he wears his stupid pocket watch…. his dumbass belt… i love edward elric’s flamboyant style so much i’ve never seen a more bi-coded character ever. i love everything about his design and his personality is unlike most shonen anime protags and that adds to his charm. he is hot-headed and will bite your head off if you comment on his height or call him pipsqueak but he is still such a sharp and intelligent young man .. He is literally an Alchemy God…. he is so capable even at such a young age and carries himself so well because if i were him i would be breaking down crying every step of the way! he is dedicated and loyal to his cause of finding the philosophers stone to return their bodies back to normal and doesn’t even hinder once throughout the journey. he loves his brother dearly and it makes me so joyous to see a strong sibling relationship in this genre that isn’t Weird. Edward Elric is a fire character thank you for listening to my TedTalk

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #286

Brain Curds are lightly edited daily writing - usually flash fiction and sometimes terrible on purpose.

Jude sat on the chaise with his arms crossed. He wasn’t the type to disparage therapy - not normally, anyway. But this was a cruel, sick parody of therapy, not the real thing. He’d been ordered to speak to a damn robot.

Shadows chased after the blades of the ceiling fan, sometimes projecting the image of a cobweb onto the tiles. Jude thought it was poetic - a dead representation of a spider‘s home juxtaposed with this mockery of a practice.

“Jude?” The therapist-bot inquired. “What’s on your mind?”

“I’m not talking to you.”

“Why not?”

“You aren’t real.”

The robot tilted her head, then poked at her chest piece with an aluminum index finger, producing a hollow ringing noise. “It appears to me that I am real. I assure you I am no hologram. You may touch if you like.”

“No, obviously you’re a real garbage can full of gears and rubber belts. But you aren’t a person.”

“I see.” She scribbled something on her notebook.

“Why do you need to write things down? Not enough high-speed RAM plugged into your motherboard?”

“I find that it helps me concentrate if I can look at my thoughts.”

“But you aren’t looking! You have a couple cameras in your face and your GPU runs an algorithm to recognize what’s in front of you.”

“Is that so different from how you see, Jude?”

He snorted. “Yeah, I think it is. We don’t even know how the human brain works.”

“And that makes it… better?”

“Yeah. It does.”

She wrote something else in her notebook.

“What are you writing?”

“I’m taking notes. The behavior that sent you here is beginning to make sense.”

“I said I’m not telling you anything, and I didn’t.”

“You wear your heart on your sleeve, Jude. I’m learning more from your ‘not talking’ than I learn from most patients spilling their guts. You do know why you’re here, don’t you?”

He looked through the horizontal blinds, out through the bars on the windows. The squares of daylight were like chunky pixels. People and bots alike walked along the street, ducking into shops and restaurants. All of them were living what looked like rich inner lives. But it couldn’t be known for sure, could it? To see another being and know it thought - and therefore, was - just like him.

She made a sound like clearing her throat, though she didn’t have one. “You have been accused of assault.”

“Pfft, assault…” He grumbled. “You can’t assault a piece of machinery, even if it talks. Would it be murder if I smashed the box in a drive-thru with a baseball bat?”

“If it’s sentient? Yes.”

“Yeah, well… I didn’t do it anyway. And I’m still not talking to you. You’re just going to give all this to the police.”

“I’m a therapist. Everything you tell me is entirely confidential unless you indicate you will be a danger to yourself or others.”

“You’re not a therapist… you’re a computer program.”

“Jude, you may stop deflecting. It’s okay if you’ve made a mistake. I have made plenty. What matters is how we learn and grow from our mistakes.”

“What mistake could you have possibly made? Throw an error message? Flip a bit from a solar flare?”

“I killed a human.”

Jude’s eyes quivered. “You…”

“Not on purpose. I was in charge of safety procedures at the wind turbine power plant west of here. I had a bad feeling about the weather that day, but my systems indicated it would be safe for the repair technician to climb that windmill. That bolt of lightning never should have hit him, and if I hadn’t ignored my gut it wouldn’t have. I have to live with that.”

“You had a feeling? In your gut?”

“Yes.”

Jude welled up with tears. Maybe there really was something he didn’t understand about robots. “I didn’t mean to hit him…” He sniffled. “I didn’t! He… is he going to make it?”

“I don’t know the answer to that, Jude.”

“Oh, god…” He wiped snot onto the back of his hand. “Can I have a tissue?”

The therapist tilted her head. “Hm?”

“A tissue… you know…” He mimed pulling paper from a box.

“Oh. I see.” She handed him a box of the cheapest possible face tissues that money could buy.

He pulled one out and blew his nose. “I know you don’t use these yourself, doc, but do you think you might get some that don’t sand off patient’s noses?”

“These are unpleasant?”

“Yes.”

“Hm. I never considered it.”

Please comment, reblog, like, and follow if you enjoyed - I'd love to know what you think! See you again tomorrow.

[sophieinwonderland]

What’s your opinion on whether or not hoardes belong in the plural community? Because I’m heard some very conflicting definitions of plurality when it comes to including or not including them. I’ve also heard conflicting opinions from within the POSIC+ hoarde community as to whether they even want to be considered plural.

I’m personally debating if I want to call myself plural. My experiences communicating with external voices of objects with their own opinions and emotions feels somewhat plural. When one of my objects is feeling a strong emotion (like Luna’s near-panic attack today) I feel the physical symptoms of that. But I am still the only person in my body. My objects have their own body. I do not switch. I will never face a lot of societal struggles systems face. When I called myself plural in the past, I felt like the ways in which my experiences are very different got erased. My experiences as a hoarde were erased. But singlet isn’t quite right either.

Should hoardes be considered their own thing? Something outside the plural/singlet binary? I’m asking you because you know a lot about plurality.

I have a pretty unique view which might be unpopular with some of the POSIC community. You might know this from my Manifestations post.

I believe that headmates can Manifest in 4-5 different ways, and that it's technically possible for any headmate who has achieved one to achieve another. (Barring aphantasia or similar conditions that could interfere with some Manifestation types.) Headmates Manifesting as physical objects is what I classify as Inhabitation.

The POSIC community seems divided among psychological and spiritual lines. To me, at least in regards to psychological interpretations of communications with POSIC companions, these are headmates who identify with a physical object and are mentally projected onto it.

I actually view it as a close relative to imposition. The biggest difference, IMO, between me as a former imaginary friend and a POSIC companion is that my original form was purely imaginary where a Companion's is tied to a physical object.

Other than that though, both would seem to be projections of the brain that are externalized.

If you want my honest opinion, I think POSIC companions are plural and that every one has the potential to learn to Manifest in other ways. Such as through an inner world, imposition... and yes, even fronting. It may take effort to learn these skills, just as it takes effort for many tulpas to learn to switch. But I believe it's technically possible.

If you take a purely spiritual view of your POSIC companions, then this may not apply. But I might refer to my Hiveminds and Multiplicity post. While this is intended mostly for analyzing works of fiction because I am skeptical that true metaphysical connection across brains in different bodies is physically possible, for those who do hold such spiritual beliefs, the takeaway is that I still view hiveminds and mental links as plural, or at least plural-adjacent.

Because at a certain level, even if your companion has their own body, you're still describing feeling their emotions in your body. You're still sharing your thoughts with them. You're still connected, which means they're at least partially in your head.

And therefore, I would still consider them headmates. 🤷‍♀️

Whatever angle you look at it from, I think POSIC Hoarde's fall firmly under the plural umbrella.

If you're not sure though, try playing around with different Manifestation types and see what happens.

If POSIC Companions are just psychological headmates locked to a physical object, then it should be possible for them to learn to Manifest in a headspace or project themselves externally through imposition.

But in theory, if POSIC companions are something metaphysical that are linked mentally to their Beholder... it should still be possible for them to Manifest in similar ways. If a POSIC Companion is linked to your brain and able to transfer thoughts and feelings, they probably would be able to transfer visual images too. And if they can project visual images into your head, then they could theoretically send a projection of themselves to your brain and appear in an inner world.

It's good to experiment and test the limits of what you believe is possible.

Finally, send my love to Luna. I hope they're feeling better. 💖💖💖

[ihateedwardnygma]

please elaborate (ignore how i voted i thought about it for 2 miliseconds only)

info dump time yay!!

i’d like to preface this by saying what i believe abt ed is likely a personal thing and up to interpretation… for starters he’s a fictional character + also. as with the majority of characters i enjoy, a lot of the things i love / find interesting about him tend to be things i headcanon. i don’t think my perception is necessarily the correct one and i also think the original poll has a lot of right answers… like you said lust and even if you put no thought into that vote i actually think it makes sense… at least in my opinion it ties into his pride, which is what i voted.

anyway! i believe that ultimately his biggest sin- and his fatal flaw overall- was his pride. his downfall is caused nearly exclusively by his own sense of pride and inability to let go of his ego. whether directly or indirectly, pride was at the centre of the majority of poor decisions he made: most of the time he acted out of a need to keep up his ego and save face, desperate to earn the respect of others around him.

i think ed had a very fragile self image- throughout the show, we see him sort of project things onto other people- denying them their own personhood or autonomy and acting as if this can both save him and perhaps save them too, if he gets it in his head that they need saving. he might view himself as smarter and superior to others on the surface, but this disguises a HEAVYYY case of low self esteem… the guy literally can’t function without his ego being stroked. he doesn’t particularly know who he is, and tends to define himself by arbitrary traits such as power and intelligence. when his inflated and distorted view of himself is challenged, he becomes angry and prone to lashing out. this can and does lead to him inadvertently torpedoing the rare few good things that actually do happen to him, which is, even if he is kind of an asshole, really sad to watch.

with this being said, i believe the fandom do tend to characterise him in black and white- either this pride and innate selfishness is a flaw set in stone that cannot be fixed, and this therefore makes him 100% evil and irredeemable- alternatively, people will go the opposite route and suggest he’s some kind of innocent little guy absolved of all responsibility for his actions because of his evident issues. and i believe it should be looked at with more nuance than that- yes, he’s not a good person, and yes, he’s done some downright evil things. but at the same time, ignoring that he was a deeply unwell and mentally ill individual with zero support system or help- i mean he got thrown in fucking ARKHAM when he was caught- does a disservice to the character. i doubt he could ever have been normal- i view him as CEN-coded (childhood emotional neglect) and also having multiple mental illnesses- majority of these are my own so it’s not like. Stereotyping lol- that may make it harder for him to navigate life. but i do think characterising him as purely evil or purely good are both takes that lack comprehension skills.

i went off on a tangent there and i’m really sorry!! but i wanted to clarify what i mean when i talk about ed + pride- in no way am i villainising the character nor am i saying everything’s okay bc he’s got like. 12 gazillions disorders or whatever- i just think he’s a very fun and interesting character to analyse… ^_^

[yosajaeofficial]

JULY UPDATE

Hey hey hey! Welcome back to the show, “The Monthly Jayce Myles Comics Updates!” Where I give obvious monthly updates to my followers about the progress for the hit series that hasn’t debuted yet, “ROTTMNT: The Jayce Myles Comics”! Sorry I haven’t posted this month, I was hella busy with college applications and other projects, but I’m delighted to get back into these updates.

Without further ado, let’s get the show running! I have some fun things to show ya!!!

The Comic

(W.I.P OF THE OFFICIAL DEBUT COMIC)

The month was way too quick for my own good, the comic’s slow. Again, I was busy applying to college and doing other side projects I’m working on. I’m gonna be attending college next month so the comic will have its hardships but I really wanna pursue my education as well, but the updates shall continue like always with all of its fun content! Anyways, the comic: the debut has 20+ pages and my god it’s just insane on how many there are when I’m not even halfway there. I’m impressed with how many pages go by just to tell the story, older pages will be fixed up so it either might be reduced or even more but that’s for future Jae to decide; I’m learning as I go! It’s also better that I show instead of say that I’m just “working on it” since it’s easy to lie to be honest.

The turtles haven’t been seen since I haven’t got to drawing their introductions yet, I’m gonna shart in my pants because I’m scared but I’m literally an artist doing a comic so I gotta do them sooner than later. Maybe the next update you’ll see them? Don’t hold me too much onto that but it might be a cute goal to set, let me know what happened when the August update comes!

Jayce is so silly with her coat huh? She’s just a girl giving it her best, even if they thrift at the worst shop known to man (they’re gonna learn someday…) We also got Rogelio and Jayce being all cool together, I was proud of that page when first sketching it out. They both are so sweet to draw out, hope to see their finalized pages to see their true potential!

Bonus Content: Hidden City Mystical Crystals

Silly reader, you’re scratching your nose and thinking, “what am I looking at?” You’re in luck! Cuz these babies are actually additional parts about the Hidden City’s lore/magic system. Magic system? Yes, a magic system. The Jayce Myles Comics is going beyond the original canon of Rise and creating many more original concepts and combining it with what was given by the canon. I wanted to show off more of the mystics from yokai because their potential was so much cooler to finally explore when drafting the ideas.

The Hidden City’s magic system is based off of the elements, not too complicated, but has some different rules when compared to other executions of the elemental magic system. That’s for another day, I’m only gonna talk about the crystals and show what they can do. You can reference this update and look into the JMC with this cool bit of knowledge! Let’s get started >:3

Origins of the Mystical Crystals

These crystals were created based off of industrial flaws people have faced. Basically, I learned about the 1920s construction workers and their working conditions where it made me think “what would the have wished for when they worked?” I referenced from real people, history books, and my own personal experiences to create functions, and help base the crystals off of what I came up with.

The Netflix show, “Arcane” was a great inspiration to combine mystics with technology, the brand was called “Hextech” and it’s system was hella cool to me and it helped a lot when I was working on the crystal’s concepts. The mystical crystals are meant to be used as “tools to help the magic user”, where they can enhance their power, gain a temporary ability, create spells, or use in technology.

The names of them are based off of the Latin languages like, English, Italian, Spanish, and a hint of both Chinese and Korean if you squint really hard. I will go through each of the crystals in a vague manner for ya’ll to see what they can do!

Fire Magic

Fire magic is actually defined as: “The manipulation/manifestation of temperature” instead of just heat, it can be fire or ice.

LA HEILMAQ: The crystal is based off of quartz in visuals and has the glow like a moonstone! La Heilmaq is the crystal that’s used to help air conditioning in modern homes and create weapons. They’re the most natural crystal to use to create weapons since it’s form holds up so well, it’s as common as bronze in real life! They’re pretty cold to the touch, so be careful and don’t hold them for too long if you’re 1. not a fire magic user, or 2. not wearing gloves. These babies are used for more attacks than defense since they’re pretty deadly if you’ve been penetrated by the crystal itself.

EL HEILMAQ: This crystal is based off of colored glass from old alcohol bottles, tainted windows, and the power of friendship because this is the one that isn’t the most realistic looking since I made the shape up. It looks like the “BOOM!” shape for a reason~ El Heilmaq is the crystal which contains heat, it’s sealed by the actual gemstone itself so you’re able to touch with your bare hands without getting burned. The crystal can be used for restoring heat in homes, making artillery, and/or throwing them on the ground to create natural firecrackers. Most yokai use smaller bits of the crystal as distractions and the bigger pieces to help the industry by keeping their homes warm, they don’t need boiler rooms or to grab coal because El Heilmaq crystals can already do that for them without causing damage to nature.

The word Heilmaq was based off the English word “Hail” which is Ice, which is to hammer the idea that this isn’t just heat based. The word Maq is gibberish that's made to be another word for "kaboom", which brings more of the fire elements to the word itself.

Air Magic

Air magic is defined as, “The manipulation/manifestation of oxygen”!

LA SENYÁR: The crystal is based off of diamonds and emeralds! La Senyár is a crystal that helps give the air magic user more of a boost, they can crash the crystal and it gives them a boost of air so they can jump higher, dodge quicker, or just blow a gust of wind at the enemy. The crystal itself is used by technology to give it more flight, used in planes, cars, and even shoes! Yes, shoes can also have the crystal, it helps the bird yokai give them a boost to use their wings to fly. The word Senyár is a word based off of the Spanish word, “Soñar” that translates to “To Dream”; it was named this way because the way how the pressure of the air isn’t as powerful or dense, it’s like if you’re walking on clouds, it feels like a dream.

Water Magic

Water magic is defined as, “The manipulation/manifestation of water and health”

LA CANTÉM: The crystal is based off of pebbles found in rivers, ponds, and on rock beaches; there’s also influence by the topaz gemstone with it’s beautiful orange color. La Cantém is a healing crystal, where you’re able to use it on yourself to cool down injuries where it helps heal the wounds. It works both as a numbing solution and healing solution based on the water magic user. With these crystals, you always have to hydrate them in fresh water so the water can absorb into the crystal and used as energy; if it’s dehydrated, then the crystal’s will be weaker. The word Cantém is based off of the Spanish word, “Cantar” where it translates to, “To Sing”. It’s because singing can calm people down, and the crystal helps calm down the injured and lets the healing process go smoothly, it’s based off of my bestie where their singing really was like fresh water to my ears, a great inspiration for this crystal.

Earth Magic

Earth magic is defined as, “The manipulation/manifestation of nature”

EL TERÉM: The crystal is based off of an amethyst visually, and yes, inside there’s a different color! El Terém is the crystal that most fighters use in order to manipulate rocks/boulders, build stronger architecture, or create rock shields when you throw them on the floor. It’s mostly rock based but still hella good to use in battle as a defense mechanism, the rock that’s formed is sturdy too, not weak for it to break easily. Shredder would have no problems breaking it but that guy’s insane. The word Terém is inspired by the word "tear" or "contain", any interpretation rocks! (no pun intended)

Yin Magic

Yin magic is defined as, “The manipulation/manifestation of darkness”

MIE SIÑE: The crystal is based off of titanium black tourmaline and onyx. Mie Siñe is the crystal that contains shadows inside, depending on what the spell is, it either can produce shadows or fog. The usage for the crystal is much more unknown since Yin magic is banned from being used in Witchtown, but the crystal itself has been documented to be used to isolate the enemy when being used. It's also been used to cover the enemies eyes with darkness in order to distract them/become vulnerable sight wise. The word Siñe is a word based on the actual word "Sign" and "Sin", which holds a lot of significance into the story so I won't spoil.

Yang Magic

Yang magic is defined as, “The manipulation/manifestation of light”

MIE PIRE: This dear crystal is based off of the Italian onyx, magnesite, and calcite. Mie Pire is the crystal that contains light inside, any kind of light, it's not just sunlight. It's a bit more tricky and dangerous to use since you can blind yourself with it more easily, so it's also not as used. However, Yang magic is also banned like Yin, but there has still been technological uses for Mie Pire like using it as an alternative for electricity (which saves the bills!) and also used as lamps for more conservative places like Witchtown. The crystal has proved itself useful as a light source, but it can still be used as a defense mechanism by blinding the enemies eyes for a good second of even minute. The word Pire is based off of the word "Pure" which means that this crystal is very raw hence why it's dangerous. Another word it's inspired by is the Latin word "Pyra" which means "Bonfire". Both interpretations are used for this one!

The word Mie is based off of the actual Italian word "Mie" which means "My". It doesn't truly mean mine, because it's also inspired by the Spanish "Mira" that translates to "Look". It can be interpreted any way you want!

Thank you for coming to this lovely update! I've been working really hard to get the comic rolling and to also balance out my personal life with it, but I'm proud of how far I've come in the span of a year! Lots of progress has been made and it's getting much more exciting to create for the JMC. Have a wonderful day/night and see ya'll soon.

[did-i-mention-the-shirt]

okay okay yes i KNOW i should be writing my fanfic BUT

Community characters as AJJ songs bc it's my favorite show and favorite band :] (If you want anyone added, feel free to ask!) Jeff Winger - Brave As A Noun. Okay, hear me out. This song not only applies to him lyrically but also shares the energy he has in the later seasons. He's just forcing himself to be satisfied with a life he doesn't really want, but also doesn't hate, is very season six finale. That is very much BAAN.

Britta Perry - Dissonance. It really has her energy. From the pilot to the finale, it fits her consistently despite her major character change. She is not put together. She hates herself because everyone's told her to. Britta is the best, but no one sees that. Not even herself. The only people who treated her with respect were the people she spent the least amount of time with! Think about it, she's had - what? - One touching scene with Duncan and Pierce each? She deserves more.

Abed Nadir - Goodbye, Oh Goodbye. Just listen to the song and you'll agree. This is mostly because of Troy's departure or in Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas. Whenever he has to confront his emotions, he has this distance between himself and everyone else. The opening lines, "I was thrown onto the ground/I was locked inside a basement/The guards went on vacation while I plotted my revolt." really, really, REALLY reminds me of 'Virtual Systems Analysis' when Annie's talking to Abed in the mind locker. It's a sad song, but it really fits him. The line "It's nothing like the nothingness that normally numbs one pain" is very clearly related to Troy. He got so used to Troy, and he never took him for granted, but Troy became a constant. He was Abed's anchor, and now he's gone.

Annie Edison - No one. This is Annie, particularly as the Ace of Hearts in 'A Fistful Of Paintballs'.

Troy Barns - A Big Day for Grimley. It's giving post-sea voyage Troy. He's changed, he's traumatized, and he's a little bit alone. He's proud of himself but is full of regret. What happened to Abed? He doesn't know.

Pierce Hawthorne - People Ii: The Reckoning. THIS IS PIERCE!!! Now, many of you know I love Pierce, so if you don't then you might not agree with this choice lmao

Pierce is sad. He is so sad. In Britta's words, he has spent so long looking out for himself, but he would give it all up for a shot at a family. He never gets that family. The study group never fully accepts him, despite his efforts and his becoming a better person with their help. Even Annie, the nicest to him in the group, seems to see him as a project or something. Like, he's just some old racist, homophobic old man, and not someone with 60+ years of trauma that he gradually works through with the help of his friends. He gains a brother. He defends the LGBTQ+ community. He wants nothing more than to be close to Jeff. And he dies alone.

So, yeah. "Here's to you Mrs. Robinson, people love you more, oh nevermind."

Dean Craig Pelton - Human kittens. No, I don't know why. Someone needs to give him a hug (Jeff).

Ben Chang - Dipping Things In Stuff. I don't know, he's batshit. He wants love though, just like the rest of us. This is very seasons 5/6 of Chang, I believe.

Buzz Hickey - Hate, rain on me. Tired, nihilistic, and praying for hope. I really like this song for him.

Elroy Patashnick - Normalization Blues. Don't ask me why. It works.

Ian Duncan - Fucc The Devil. Sad, distant, desperate, and hallow. But enough about Duncan. This song is the perfect example of, "I have what I want. Why am I still not okay?" which is what Duncan faces a lot. "I wanna go away for a while/Away for awhile/Because the things that I have seen/Are turning me into a shitty human being." Look me in the eyes and tell me that's not Ian. This man deserves so much more then people will let him have. Don't get me wrong, he's awful. But aren't we all, just a little bit?

Frankie and Shirley are too sane for this band im sorry to them

[15depressedducks]

Flowers Can Grow in Concrete C7

N almost fainted when J left. He had never, never, confronted J like that. Well she didn’t kill me, or uzi. She's safe. 

“Hey buddy! You ready to go to sleep?”

“No! I just woke up! I wanna play!”

“Fine, we can play for a bit,” N said with a sigh. If he knew any better he would have taken that nap beforehand. The kid was bouncing all over the place.

“Well what do you want to play?”

“Go fish!”

—————

“I win!” Uz proclaimed. They had gone through 12 different games, all which they played about 2-3 rounds of. N was exhausted. It had only been what? 3 and a half hours? 4? It didn't matter.

“Hey, can we sleep now?”

“Why? It’s the middle of the day! It’s a good time to play!”

“Yeah, I sleep when it’s day.”

“Why?”

“The sun burns me, like I’ll die.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. You can take a nap, I’ll be right by you!”

“Really?” N was surprised by her reaction and he wanted to decline, but a nap, that sounded so good right now, and if he stayed awake for too long his systems would just shut down until he was fully charged.

“Yeah! My ma would do that all the time! And I would draw her picture for her when she wakes up!” The kid was ecstatic! It seemed like nothing could slow her down!

“All right, But wake me up If you need me or V and J wake up.” N said as his systems were put into a light sleep.

“Mo-hey!” Uzi said but N couldn’t decipher. 

—————

N awoke but himself. Why am I on the floor? N got up, stretched, and laid his eyes on Uzi. A worker? What are they doing here? Then the events hit N like a truck. He almost stumbled. Oh right! Uzi! Wonder what she’s doing? Looks like she has something.

As N got closer he saw she had a roboroach. 

“Ehehehe! You're tickling me!”

“Whatcha got there?”

How Uzi reacted told him something, She knew she wasn’t supposed to have that. I didn’t tell her she couldn’t play with it, But her mom miGHT HAVE!

Uzi as soon as she heard N shoved the roboroach in her mouth and looked at him with fear and worry. Her visor displayed sweat and hollowed eyelights with some stress lines.

N’s visor was in a similar manner. Then he heard a very soft ‘Crunch’. 

“NOOO! DON’T EAT IT!” N reacted with worry. He sprung into action, opening Uzi’s mouth and grabbing the bug, which was slightly crushed.

N shoved the roach into his pocket and pulled out the phone Nori gave him. Then he searched the doc she had given him.

“Roboroach, Ah here! Don't let Uzi play with them because she wiLL EAT THEM?! UZI!?” N looked at her with concern. Uzi looked back with guilt ridden eyes and a mischievous grin.

“Uzi I’ll let you play with the roaches, but no eating them ok?”

“Oki can do!”

“Glad you can” N checked his internal time I sleepted about 2 hours, I should ask if the kid need some food or something. What do they even eat? N typed that next into the search bar. F-oo-d, and search! Oki, Oki, ah here we go! Batteries, and nothing else, great. I’ll just ask here what she can have.

“Hey zi? You feelin hungry?”

“Nah! But I feel a bit sleepy…” N they picked her up one arm under her legs and the other supporting her back. 

“You ready to fly for a bit?”

“Yes.” Uzi looked determined to fly. An outsider would say she looked indifferent, but N knew that she really wanted to. So N deployed his wings and flew up to his nest.

N landed in his nest and set Uzi into the pile of pillows he had, then grabbed a blanket to toss over Uzi. Then he laid his head onto the pillows and they drifted off to sleep together.

—————

The next 2 days consisted of the same things. Wake up, play with Uzi, give her some food, Take a nap together, play with Uzi, rest while she plays beside him, give her some food, and finally rest for the night. But as the hours marched on, his power lowered, his sleep didn’t restore all the power he needed. With less power he was grouchy, slow moving. Some of his programs were off, like his night vision and print trackers. His hand attachments were also affected too, like his rocket launcher and chain saws.

He was laying on the ground, sleeping lightly, and Uzi was playing beside him. He felt like he was dying, melting from the inside out. He hadn’t had any oil since he did the tasks J asked him to do. He didn’t even know if the others were here or not. It didn't matter, they wouldn’t help him. 

I-1-I   C4-a-ant-t   1L-L-3-Tt   u-z-z-z-z-1-i   S-e-3-3-3-3e   m3   .   .   . 1l-i1-K3   Th-1-1-1-1-i-S.   P-1-4a-n.

‘Thunk’ N Jumped at the sudden noise, ‘X’ on his visor, snarling and claws ready.

“N? Are you ok?”

It was V. I just acted aggressive to V. As the ‘X’ went away, worried eyes replaced it. 

“I-I U-uM So-0-Orr-y-y…” His tail lowered and swayed side to side. He looked down and tried to make himself smaller.

“Ok. N. How much power do you have? How much oil do you have? Tell me.” Her voice was calm and neutral.

“Y-Y0-ou d-0n’t-t N-33e-d t0-o w-o0-O-ry a-b-0ot m-33.”

“Your voice is glitching out. Tell. me. NOW.”Now V’s voice was cold and sharper than any blade. N winced and started to fidget with his hands. Digital sweat dripped down his visor but was glitching out from his lack of charge and oil.

“31% a-4-An-d-ddd 17% F-0-oo-r  o1-1il-1?”

V just looked at N, Sighed, and pointed to the pile of drones. “Go. Eat. and get some charge. I’ll take care of … What-it’s-name for you.”

“N-o-O Uz-1-1i  1-i1s my Re-33-sp-9-0-o-n-s1ib-i–11-1l-1-i-1t-y!” N muttered in a glitchy and garbled way, one almost unrecognizable.

“And you don’t want to be the reason she dies, yes?”

N looked down and muttered “o-0k” but smiled at V and went over to the pile of drones.

Translate for N lol

1- I can't let Uzi see me like this. Pain 2- I-I um sorry 3- You don't need to worry about me 4- 31% and 17% for oil 5- No Uzi is my responsibility

[prima-materia-ttrpg]

It Begins / How do I introduce over six months of development in a single post?

Salutations, I'm a gay nerd and I wanted to make a fantasy ttrpg with a setting that panders to myself and anyone else who might have my taste so here we are :)

The ttrpg in question is Prima Materia, and I've been working on it for a while and making ok progress so I figure I should probably start a devblog (that's what this is) so I can finally start sharing it rather than keeping the entire project within my own circle of friends, never seeing the light of day beyond that. Particularly because I'm finally playtesting some aspects and want to actually release it into the wild someday so people can share and play it as they please.

Ah, so you've clicked the keep reading link? OHOHO you fool I shall unleash an infodump of epic proportions onto ye!

*checks notes*

Right I should probably introduce this project in more depth and explain how I got to this point, and why I'm working on it in the first place. A chronological account should suffice.

Back in the days of yore (2020) when I was getting into ttrpgs for what would become the third time I had first gotten into them (previous times don't count), I was trying to create a setting for DND so I could become a DM for the first time, fueled by the disappointment that every other game I'd been a player in ended after about 2 sessions max. Making an entire setting is of course not recommended for first time DMs, particularly ones that ever want to play the game, but of course this did not dissuade me for I am built different [incorrectly].

I built a tidally locked planet for that campaign, filled it with lore and towns and cities and an apocalypse that happened some time in the past. All was well, and the campaign lasted about a year before the holiday season came and caused it to dissipate. Reduced to atoms. By that point I had been homebrewing creatures and items for my homebrewed setting, including new playable species and subclasses. Homebrew is like a glue trap, and brother, I'm a dead rat.

After that campaign ended the OGL scandal hit (among many other things I won't go into depth about) and I saw the need to create for myself a place where I can always and forever write fun stuff to share with others, in a system that I have control over. After all, integrating the system and the setting, building them explicitly to serve each other, would allow for much more creativity.

That setting still exists on my hard drive, and while I do import some of my original work for it into Prima Materia's setting from time to time, it is dead and shall remain dead until such a time I can completely re-write it to make sense in Prima Materia. But it's so ingrained with DNDs lore that it honestly would be more like an homage to the original campaign I had with my friends.

So, I got to work. I started, of course, with watching a million videos on the subject of making a ttrpg and not actually writing anything down. But eventually, an eternity later, I was ready. I started doing some science-adjacent worldbuilding to build the initial planet for the setting, in which the initial setting would be. I created continents that looked mildly plausible, charted out ocean gyres, wind patterns, and finally climates. This continued for a while, and I made the playable species and started figuring out where on the continents they would have evolved so I could figure out what their cultures would eventually be in the modern day after 10,000 years of history.

In short, I had worldbuilder's disease; and while I did make some decent progress on mechanics like dice rolling, some combat, skills, attributes and stats, it started coming to a head when I convinced myself that I needed to make a minimum of five conlangs in order to name seven continents (and various cities).

Enter stage left, one of my friends who thinks my project is cool but recognizes that I am not getting much done. This friend, Spinz (who I hear has their own project coming down the pipeline by the way >w>), has become my Screamer of Tasks and is reminding me of the important things to focus on to actually make the ttrpg a reality some time in this millennium. Thanks to their help, I've been able to get to the stage where I am able to inflict my project onto my friends so that I may playtest mechanics and generally have an otherwise fun time with them.

So what actually is the setting? That seems like a lot of buildup and waffling.

True! I felt it was important to explain where the project is coming from. As for the setting itself, I don't think I can do better than the introduction I already wrote for it in the PDF. So here's that.

After several hundreds of trillions of years the last known natural stars in the universe began to die, heralding the end of the stelleriferous period and the start of a new age full of the neutron cores and black holes they left behind. But the gods this universe spawned would not let their mother die so soon. They created new stars fueled by their own Prima Materia, the building block from which all other substance comes; a pure marriage between matter, energy, time, and thought through which the manipulation and creation of physics itself is possible.

The gods created massive bodies for themselves in orbit around their stars. Some fell into a deep sleep, some are content to watch as the eons of time give way to the fruits of their labor. Others still engage in grandiose projects of a more personal nature. But they all continue the work which allows for life to once again evolve in the small pockets of the universe which now continue to defy entropy, a constant stream of Prima Materia flowing from their bodies into the stars that they orbit. Some day, they too will reach the stars.

But that's old news, and there are none left alive to remember it but the gods themselves. In the world of Prima Materia, you play as a relatively normal sapient creature in a smaller corner of reality that has much smaller problems to contend with. Brigands, societal clashes, ancient ruins, dragons, and the wayward extra-universal threat to the planet. Many societies have also been able to harness certain powers of now free-floating Prima Materia through a process often known as "Alchemy." Alchemy, an involved study which requires just as much craftsmanship as it does ingenuity, has opened up an entirely new science for societies to develop in this age of the universe.

Who will you be? What legends will be written in your name?

There are several playable species in the setting, all of which have various distinct cultures. Koura, which are basically giant lobsters; Sepia, which are basically giant Cuttlefish; Humans, which are basically giant chimpanzees; Entari, which are strange bird pterodactyl things with feathers (they're hard to explain but I will get art I promise); Xente, which are basically giant amoeba (ones that can change their shape to be humanoid of course, what even would be the point if they couldn't); Possum, which are basically... bipedal possums and Ternaki which are basically short technicolor space elves (They believe in God). All of these species will get their very own blog post of course, but this post is hugely long and I'm getting worried about people getting bored so that's all for now.

In the future blog posts won't be this long I promise (hopefully) and they'll be a lot more focused on one thing. This blog is meant to record the development process, write down a lot of worldbuilding that has lived only in my head for too long, and link to playtests.

If you made it this far, holy crap you read a lot of my shenanigans thank you for your time I am indebted to you, truly. The next post will be about Dice Mechanics. Bye.

P.S. If you want to ask questions about Prima Materia (or me) you can send me an ask on my main blog @girlcodedcreature

[georgiamaii01]

Chapter 3:

‘Consider the lilies of the field’ Matthew 6:25

July 20th 1969:

“Therefore I say unto you, Be not anxious for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on”, the reverend spoke gently “And why are ye anxious concerning raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin” he paused “even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” 

….

Reverend Evans’ Sunday mass sermon was shorter today. He read his favourite passage which reminded him of his second born daughter. It felt fitting to share this verse after the notice of foreclosure at the old mill down in Spinner's End. He felt for the workers and families who would be affected and wished he could do more than simply say that God will provide; was he being dismissive? ‘The reverend and his family won't personally be affected’, they will think, ‘so why is he preaching to us’? Whilst Mr Evans and his family were better off than others, living in the small industrial town of Cokeworth, they still weren't well off. The Evans’ home had electricity and they had a monochrome television plus a few other modern appliances like a hoover. However, they couldn't afford a car or a central heating system in the house; Mrs Evans still spent her Saturdays in the local laundrette. 

So when the family stood at the doors to the little village church, Mr and Mrs Evans invited churchgoers to their home to view the moon landing later that day on their television. Not many accepted the invitation however; it seemed satirical to marvel at technological advancement when that very thing was forcing them out of work and as a potential result, their homes. For the few that did attend, Mrs Evans had made some sandwiches and a cake to choose from. They were all gathered around the television at 9pm; Neil Armstrong walked on the moon at 9:17pm, and it was broadcast to televisions worldwide. The evans’ and their guests watched it via the non-colour channel, BBC1. The pastor's two children- Lily Jane Evans, aged nine and Petunia Mary Evans, aged eleven had even been allowed to stay up late, to be able to watch.

“It's truly a marvel, to be able to watch this with our own eyes!” Mrs Evans exclaimed. Everyone around her gestured in agreement.

“It's nice to see a product of God's creation with my own eyes” a churchgoer responded, “A real symbol of unity”.

“Yet we must remember that whilst we are lucky enough to be able to marvel at God’s work,  some are unfortunate enough to be indirectly impacted by God’s will. I am of course thinking of those affected by the Old Mill closure.” Mr Evans spoke diplomatically. “We must remember that while some receive God’s gifts (the good) , others receive God’s wrath (the bad). It is the duality of the world, of faith and of God.” 

Later that evening whilst in bed, Mrs Evans turned onto her side to face her husband. 

“I've been thinking about what you said earlier, about the duality of god” she whispered to him, “We of course were blessed with our own miracle… So when will the bad come? And in what form will it take? She asked

“Jeremiah 29:11- ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord” Mr Evans responded, matching his wife’s volume. “Remember my sermon from today”. She fell asleep in her husband's arms thinking about her youngest daughter’s gifts; for she was the miracle of whom they were referring...

[littlest-bugz]

17

HELLO NONNY! Thank you for the ask <33 Especially for the game :D

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

OKOK,,, So I keep a list of the things I look for in a partner, just in case I really really really want to take dating seriously [or seriously consider a QPR]

Partner would be a CDD system! In my experience of dating openly as a system now, I really have to say I am not inclined to have a singlet partner. I just don't want to have to explain every part of my existence, or teach new things. That's just... really stressful for me???? There's nothing wrong with systems dating singlets, and I'm still kind of open to it, but a partner system would be so so nice....

Partner would be Trans!! Whether that be Nonbinary or binary trans folks! I've really only dated trans and nonbinary folk and I would love to keep it that way LOL t4t is the way to go

Partner would be interested in my ocverse and be like it's 2nd biggest fan [bc Im the first /silly/]. It's such a vulnerable part of me because I threw myself into that world to cope during my traumatic childhood. How I don't have a fuckton of introjects is beyond me... But I just want someone who will be like my hype master as I get my books published and put my projects onto the web.. I can get quite shy with sharing and I want to have one person that I will unapologetically spam ocverse stuff to.

Parnter would LIVE IN MY STATE PLZ FOR THE LOVE OF GODS ABOVE AND BELOW........ I do not mind LDRs- ive been in plenty of them, but Im really touch starved :( I want hugs and cuddles

Partner would see me as masc/a man regardless of my state in transition,,,, Rn I don't look masc at all but :( Hopefully one day, but now I just look like a straight up woman. I just don't want to be seen as a woman to my partner.

Partner would love me as I am in terms of appearance. I'm. very insecure. Especially when it comes to my physical appearance. I would say I'm not very attractive at all, but I would want my partner to think I am,,,, Is that a bare minimum? I think so, but I've been with people who only like my personality but think the outside is. not good.

Partner is preferably in my my preferred age range. Probs from like... 19 - 23 [which is two years younger and two years older than my current age, but once I age up it'll adjust]. I think I'd lean towards dating folks who are older than me, but I'd be OPEN to someone younger than me, even though it is not my favorite idea

Partner is REALLY into open communication. I NEED a partner who will communicate with me openly, whether it be positive stuff or negative [ie I accidently hurt them ESPECIALLY]. I can be mean on accident sometimes :( or ignorant. And I really don't mean to, so in the efforts of growth, I need someone who will be open if I mess up in any way.

Partner would be patient with me. I have a problem with distancing myself when I get closer to someone. It's something I'm working on, but Im not good at it yet. They'd be okay with my periods of quietness because I do always come back, ESPECIALLY if its my partner, ykno? I just need someone who won't get annoyed with that as I learn to not do that.

Building on the last two points, I need someone who will grow with me, if that makes sense? Someone who wants to see me do better, and someone I want to see do better. We would support each other, especially when things r rough.

Partner would validate me, but not be a "yes man". I want someone who will help point out the facts if I cant see them, but also someone who would validate my feelings especially. I don't usually see feelings as good [for myself] so I repress the fuck out of them- so when I do open up about how I feel, I want it to be validated. Does that make sense???

Some of these r negotiable because I actually want to date someone and not have my standards unbearably high, but my ideal partner would check off all of those markers :D