#yes hes 1000 years old but he is A CHILD!!! LOOK AT HIM!! HES SO LITTLE IN YAAD'S ARMS

[ogdit]

So i binge read the entirety of dungeon meshi yesterday and the day before, and im gonna post a collection of some of my favourite panels, its not even all of them, because i took these from a server when i was live posting about it to them in the spoilers channel

Obviously spoilers under the cut

[i23kazu]

GENSHIN MEN & PINCHING THEIR CHEEKS .

characters. xiao zhongli diluc kaeya childe neuvillette x gn!reader genre. romantic fluff. an. squish. squish | please reblog!! im getting back into writing and reblogs with tags and comments will make me want to write more :D

xiao

his cheeks go red – not from your pinching! he can't believe you've done this. jail. jail for reader for 1000 years. but to be very honest... xiao doesn't really mind, after a while. he might go red and mumble under his breath, but surely the pinching of his cheeks isn't the worse thing he's had to endure, right? if you continue doing this, it may become his... sort-of preferred affection. just saying. the embarrassed blush never really goes away, though.

zhongli

gets embarrassed, tries to pry your hands away, but to no avail. who knew you were so strong? his words get jargled with the way you're holding his cheeks, a soft tinge of crimson painting them. for someone so old, his baby cheeks never truly went away. it's quite cute, really – seeing him giving in to the pinching after seeing the pout on your face. if he's had enough, zhongli kisses you to stop the pinching. it always works.

diluc

is this really necessary? he mumbles, his eyes not making any contact with you. physical affection made up a big part of your relationship, but this? it was something reminiscent of his childhood – when adelinde fawned over him like this... when he was the only son of the ragnvindr household. diluc doesn't push your hands away at all... perhaps the king of mondstadt is more soft-hearted than he looks.

kaeya

kaeya has never truly had someone offer him this kind of physical affection – the most he got was from a much younger, happier, and healthier diluc. crepus and adelinde were around, but kaeya always couldn't help but notice the slight distance that was put between them. when you first pinch kaeya's cheeks. he doesn't ask you to stop – rather, he kisses your hand and asks you what that means.

childe

laughs, and pinches you back in retaliation. it reminded him of the times where he used to lovingly annoy tonia and teucer, but this time? peppered with cheek kisses after, exactly on the sore spots. you laugh when childe asks you if you think that this is funny, and shakes his head playfully when you reply with a giggly yes. it's worth it though – seeing the sweet smile on your face after.

neuvillette

doesn't quite understand how to react. on one hand, a part of him is screaming in embarrassment. the chief justice, standing in the courtyard, with his lover cooing and pinching his cheeks? the other part of him is just happy to see you. neuvillette gently pries your hands away and leads you to a more private part of the opera èpiclése, smiling, and kissing the top of your forehead. there are more sun showers that day.

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[imaginaryf1shots]

My Girls (IX) | Max Verstappen

Words count: 1K

Driver!OC x Max Verstappen

Summery: Cecilia Hansson daughter of a Swedish billionaire, a race car driver, with a dream of making it big in Formula 1. However she has a few secrets that may hurt her as women are disliked in the sport.

Series Warnings: google translated french, dutch, cursing, child abandment, absent father, drinking, car accidents, Jos Verstappen, misogyny, Christian horner (tell me if i missed anything)

This is a secondary blog so I won't be able to respond but I'm adding you all to the taglist.

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

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DADDY

2022

In French

It's well established that Nathalie LOVES Max, after her mother she loves him the most. Now the girl was old enough to realise that Max came into her life after she was born and that he isn't her dad. As she's been told to call him Max(indirectly), by everyone, even Max. But three years in his relationship with Cecilia and with two years of living together Max became a very important part of her life. Nathalie doesn’t remember life before Max, she got so used to him that when he and Cecilia are away she misses him as much as he misses her mum.

"Maman." The young girl of 6 whispers as her mum sat on her bed reading her a story. Cecilia looked up hearing the timid tone in her daughter’s voice, Nattie showed her usual telltale of being nervous, she was playing/fidgeting with a plushy that Max won for her in an amusement park and she was avoiding eye contact.

"What is it, mon ange?" Cecilia asked and gently brushed Natties hair out of her face.

"Max-Max isn't my dad right?" A few things came into Cecilia’s mind, first Nathalie is speaking in French, which Max knows a bit but it isn't his strongest language, and she certainly wasn't expecting this, she stopped from answering right away thinking it over, she was trying to think where this came from. It's never been a secret that he isn't, biologically at least and she thought that Nattie understood that.

"No he isn't my love, why are you asking?" Cecilia's mind ran a 1000 times an hour thinking everything over. "Did someone say anything?"

"Not really." Nattie shook her head before she pouted and stopped playing/fidgeting with her plushie, her blue eyes meeting her mother's. "Don't dad's drop their kids off at school?"

"Sometimes, they do." Cecilia had no idea where this was going.

"They play with their kids."

"Yes."

"They buy them things."

"Yeah."

"They go swimming?"

"Uh-huh."

"They teach them how to cart and how to do things?"

"Yeah."

"And they cook them breakfast and help them brush their teeth and pick their clothes."

"They do my love, why are you asking all this?"

"Well Max does all this, doesn't that mean he's my dad?" Cecilia's heart broke for her little girl, she grew up in a loving family with both her parents together. She can't imagine what Nattie is feeling, some part of her feels guilty. Should she have talked to her and explained everything that has to do with her bio dad? Nevertheless she's forever glad for Max for filling that part in Natties life. He does treat her like a dad would, he’s so selfless taking her in like his own despite being in his early twenties at the time and just giving her pure unconditional love, his family taking her in as their own.

“Do you want him to be your dad?” Cecilia softly asks and she leans down so she’s able to meet Nathalie’s eyes, Nattie shyly nods, Cecilia smiles reassuringly. Her and Max haven't talked about the possibility of him being Natties dad but he had the question on the tip of his tongue a few times, she could tell each time but didn't want to pressure him into asking, she thought he'd eventually ask her but it looks like her impatient daughter beat him to it first. “Do you want to ask him?”

“Yes.” Nattie whispers, she looks nervous but Cecilia knows that that’s what Nattie has been after all along, she wants her mother to confirm that it’s okay to ask Max to be her dad, that her feelings are correct, she hasn’t been reading into it too much.

“Do you want to ask him now?” Max was in their shared bedroom getting ready for bed last she left him, with one last nod from Nattie, both of them left Nathalie’s bedroom and crossed the hallway to the master bedroom the drivers shared. walking in Max was already in bed, he had his back to the headboard looking at something on his phone with the lights dimmed. Nathalie races to the bed and gets on before she crawls up the bed to where Max is.

“Hey there, schatje, I thought you were going to sleep.” Max asks and opens his arms for the girl who instantly snuggles into his side, after she gets under the covers. “Do you want to stay with Mummy today?”

“No.” Nathalie says with a small smile.

“No?” Max is amused yet a tad bit confused, Nathalie rarely sleeps with Cecilia now, when she was younger she would sleep with them every once and a while but since they moved in together it became less and less now.

“I want to sleep with daddy.” Cheeky, Cecilia thought, Nathalie looked like she would be too scared to ask before they came in the room but look at her now. Max looked at Cecilia with wide eyes, she was standing just in the room, she was grinning at her boyfriend, who looked surprised. Max then turned to look at Nathalie who was nervous.

“What did you call me?” Max had to be sure, he could be too tired, he could have misheard, this could be a mistake, a slip of the tongue.

“Daddy.” She whispered again, Max pulled her on his lap and just hugged her, her face his in his neck as she wrapped her arms around his shoulder.

“You want me to be your dad?” Max asked, his voice wavering, it’s rare to see Max this emotional, but his voice is heavy as he asked Nattie.

“Yeah, can you be my dad… please?” Nattie asked both Max and Cecilia could tell that the girl is tearing up, Cecilia’s own eyes filled with tears as did Max’s.

“Yeah, definitely, if you want me to.” Max pulled back enough to see her face and it was already wet, her blue eyes looking up at him with so much love and innocence, this is a young girl who always wanted a dad and he’s beyond willing to fill that role for her.

“I do.” Nattie dragged the ‘o’ out as she cried, a sob leaving her mouth making Max pull her back in for a hug, Cecilia moved to the bed sitting beside them her hand fell onto Max’s thigh in comfort.

“I love you so much, schatje, it’ll make me the happiest man to be your dad.”

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[rose-tries-to-write]

Things I’ve learned about Danny Phantom after finally watching it as a person who avoided watching it for months and read fanfiction instead. 👍🏻✨

Spoiler warning, just in case!

They call themselves the Phandom. (Super cute, I love it, 10/10)

Everything, and I mean Absolutely Everything I’ve learned, is a fucking Lie. (Not fun. I have to rewrite my entire understanding. I feel betrayed. Offended. Gobsmacked. My flabbers are mf gasted. -5/10)

The show is actually really funny. (I enjoyed my experience. 9/10)

Fuck Phantom Planet. (What the fuck was that shit? Um, rewind, redo, no thx, give me back the ghostie boy please. I genuinely didn’t even finish the episode, I got to where he un-died and had to turn it off. I refuse to watch it now. 0/10)

The Phandom was right to steal canon and make it our bitch. (Trans Danny? More Dani/Ellie screen time? Actual plot and lore for the show? Actual in-depth thought to ghosts and their culture? Um, yes please. 1000/10)

Frostbite actually is a doctor. (I don’t know why, but I thought it was another thing the Phandom made up. Love to see it, 10/10)

Wes Weston deserves his own episode. (What do you mean he doesn’t actually exist. What do you mean I don’t get my LGBTQ+ undertones. This is homophobic /j. -10/10)

How do you tell when a ghost is intangible, invisible, or both?? (The show doesn’t have a differentiator between the two, so I’m always confused if people can just see him floating through walls. 3/10)

Guys in White literally do nothing but be annoying. (Another case of the Phandom Lying to us. I love it though, they make really good antagonists. 7/10)

The Fentons are stupid and mildly aggressive, but they do love their kids. (I read a lot of vivisection, child neglect, and general Bad Parents fics so excuse me on that front. 8/10)

Danny didn’t actually beat Pariah Dark? (I love the Ghost King Danny fics, so to find out all he did was shove him into a sarcophagus was a bit of a bummer. He struggles more with Undergrowth than the actual king, like?? 6/10)

He can reach inside himself to take things out. (He ate a spoon in one ep and just reached inside himself to take it out. Pretty cool. 9/10)

Is he actually dead? (Phantom Planet makes it seem as if he just got a bit too high a dose of ectoplasm in his system and it fucked him up, how else could he have just undone the damage? But, most of the Phandom says he legit died in the portal, in which case he could not have gone in and just un-killed himself like he did in Phantom Planet. I think he died, personally. More trauma and angst for my writing. ??/10)

Clockwork appears a lot less than I thought he would. So does Frostbite. (I thought with how much they appear in the Phandom, they must have really important and constant roles, but no. They appear very rarely. Sad face. 5/10)

Vlad sucks. (Vlad fucking sucks. 0/10)

Dani/Ellie is much younger in appearance than I thought. (I looked her up for reference when I first started reading the fics, but she looked 14-15. She actually looks 6-7 years old in show. They literally call her a kid. 8/10)

Dani is what she chose to be called, not a funny joke the Phandom played on itself. (I though it was a silly little haha moment. Nope. The show just… named her that. I think Ellie is the Phandoms choice in calling her?? 8/10)

Why is Danny obsessed with Paulina even while crushing on Sam? (He is actively blushing and flirting with Sam and then they’ll turn around and he’s jumping at the chance to talk to Paulina?? Hate it. 0/10)

Danny and Dash don’t actually date. (I saw this circle around the Phandom a bit, thought it was cute if a bit weird, and then it didn’t happen? 6/10)

No obsessions, no cores, no real reason for the ghosts to be terrorizing Amity Park. (I legit thought it was real in-verse stuff, I’m so disappointed in the lack of it in the show. It could have been so good. 3/10)

Danny doesn’t actually become friends with his ghosts. (They don’t really get along, ever. They don’t talk outside of fighting, except for those who actually like him. Missed opportunity. 4/10)

His Space obsession is actually just a few mentions of him wanting to be an astronaut? (I thought he genuinely had an obsession with the stars and we’d see a lot of him stargazing or word-vomiting about his hyper fixation, but no. Sad. 4/10)

He does go stargazing (maybe?) and flies around when he’s not fighting. (We see him going off as Phantom in the episode where Jazz finds out about him. There are no battles and he looks like he’s having fun flying around. 10/10)

He was called Inviso-Bill?? (Hilarious, I love it, why did no one ever tell me this. 7/10)

He says “Going Ghost!” every time he transforms. Every fucking time. (It’s annoying, it’s ugly, I hate it. I am so glad no fics mentioned this or used it, I think I’d go insane. -1000/10)

That’s all I got for today, and probably for a while. I just wanted to write it down for fun, but I might post more like this eventually.

[gunsandspaceships]

Tony’s Childhood. Part 2.1. Effects: Own Will

Before this part, be sure to read Part 1.

If you're not aware of Tony's strange understanding of the importance of his own wants and needs, check out this post from daydreamsandnightlights.

Here I will try to explain the roots of this behavior.

At age 4 Tony built his first circuit board (IM1)

At age 6 built his first engine (IM1)

Let's think about what it meant that he built all these things at such an early age. Was this his own or his father's will?

Let’s take Morgan for comparison – she is indeed a brilliant kid too, since at the age of 5 she can count up to 3000 (ordinary kids count up to 1000 at the age of 8), knows how much is in a ton, what “disintegrate” means and can easily manipulate her dad, a genius.

Looking at Morgan's behavior, we can assume that she is already capable of building a circuit board under the guidance of her father. But she doesn't. Because her father does not demand this from her. She is a kid. She plays with plush dogs and beavers, sleds on Captain America’s shield, and likes to have bedtime stories read to her before bed. She sneaks into her father’s garage because there are interesting things inside that she can take and play with, not to build something and add it to the list of impressive achievements.

The question is: did Tony want to create things because he liked it, or because his father did it and wanted his son to do the same?

We know that Howard had plans for Tony to "change the world" with Howard's ideas about the future. Apparently, he was preparing Tony for this purpose.

Do small children have a desire to tinker and build things? Some yes. Do they want to or should they play with cubes and constructor sets? Yes. Do they want to or should they work with real motorcycle engines and soldering irons? Hell no. They usually don't have the appropriate motor skills to do this, so they can easily hurt themselves. I'll talk more about this later when I discuss his pain tolerance.

I think it’s impossible to say now whether Tony was interested in engineering from that age (I mean sincere desire, not ability). So we cannot answer that question. But I doubt 4-year-old Tony realized what he was doing when building computer parts. He liked it though. Because those were probably the only times he spent time with his father.

Howard continued to deny his son his will when Tony was sent to boarding school when Tony was 7 years old. There he had a regulated, planned life for 7 years. Then college for another 7. And then became the youngest CEO at 21. None of this sounds like a child’s “I did what I wanted”.

He did not express his will but pleased others. Because this way he received a little love. Or a substitute for love, to be precise. And when, perhaps for the first time, he was taken care of by Yinsen, who saved him, even in such a terrible way, and died for him, he was incredibly grateful. And after that, his attitude towards people changed.

But not the attitude of people towards him, since they continued to want something from him, expecting the same behavior that they were used to seeing from the “rich and famous”.

*Doesn’t want to celebrate his birthday with a bunch of strangers in his house? Wants to spend his last days with the woman he loves? DENIED*

*Needs psychological support from people he trusts? DENIED*

*Wants to save the team from a breakup because he cares and knows what’s coming? DENIED*

Conclusion: Tony didn't belong to himself his whole life. He didn’t use to defend his own, laid deep within, interests. First, his will was moved aside by his father’s. Then Stane’s and the public’s. Fury then came with his Initiative without asking what Tony wanted. Then S.H.I.E.L.D. came to him (not) asking to find Tesseract and save the world. Then the whole team came. Then the government with its Accords, and so on and so forth. None of them bothered to ask, “What do you want, Tony?”. And the only times he insisted on something, were the times when he tried to keep the team together and prevent their death.

[t0ast-ghost]

Welcome back to me slowly losing all the marbles in my Star Trek infested head! This is my thoughts on episode nine (Miri):

- *sighs* I miss McCoy…

- OMG MCCOY!!! He don’t need to be here, he’s just standing

- literally sooo normal about them being in the same episode together again

- Jim: picks up random object for no reason. Ah yes give it to Spock

Spock: curious what do I do with this? Ah yes hand it to Bones he’ll know

Bones: what the fuck? Guess I’ll look at this now

they are all sharing a braincell in this moment

- OOPS BONES GOT TACKLED

- Kirk not afraid to slap a bitch (multiple times)

- “of course somebody will fix it” Bones comforting the guy who just attacked him, he’s so fucking caring wtf

- HES DEAD JIM MOMEN- oh never mind he said “it’s dead” false alarm

- goddamn those boots (I want a pair so bad)

- this

- uh oh he’s sick? Oh they’re all sick. But not Spock

- “the bugs have no appetite for green blood” “being red blooded obviously has its disadvantages”

- “spare me the analysis, Mr. Spock, please” THEY ARE LITERALLY MARRIED

- Bones getting called old once again

- the folder against his lip in thought

- NO SHE DOES NOT LIKE HIM

- “eternal childhood” sounds like Peter Pan to me idk maybe

- KIRK BACK THE FUCK UP

- idc if she’s 1000 years older what the fuck are you doing?

- okay I like this group of kids the costumes are well done

- Kirk getting attacked. yippee sounds play.

- “and I do want to go back to the ship, captain” then they smile at each other WHAT

- Hehehe

- “you two can recreate the thinking” bones gives him the ‘who the fuck do you think I am face’

- shittiest photo I’ve ever taken but-

- Jim hugging Janice was honestly kinda sweet

- Jim yelling “where’s Janice” was done so well

- JIM ABOUT TO THROW A CHILD

- Jim your speeches don’t work here

- THE OLDEST CHILD LOOKS LIKE TOMMYINNIT HOLY- I am so sorry

- “I’m a grup… and I want to help you” well delivered

- “bickering is pointless” Spock is sad to see his friend slowly becoming more agressive and scared- I- they- I love them

- MCCOY NO no!

- thought he yelled “fuck” but no just “Spock” I think bones should be allowed to say fuck

- Kirk’s ripped sleeve is so fucking slutty

That’s where I’m leaving this one cause the ending bridge discussion once again makes me so uncomfortable…

All in all really loved this episode. Yes it was cause I got Bones, Spock, and Kirk.

Other episode reviews :)

[whatchuwaitinfor]

Give Them A Good Dream Tonight

Malleus X Prefect

Summary: Malleus was walking around outside of Ramshackle dorm and Yuu couldn’t sleep because of nightmares so they also go to Ramshackle Dorm to walk around it. The two notice each other and start talking. This FanFiction starts in the middle of the conversation between them.

“Do you see that?” Malleus points at the sky as he looks at Yuu. They shook their head and Malleus hums and says, “Look closer.” He went behind Yuu and held one hand on their shoulder, “You asked how I am feeling, and you didn’t believe me when I said that I was okay, so I will give you the honest answer.” He points at the stars and makes Yuu look up where he’s pointing, “The stars are aligned…” Yuu looked back at Malleus and said, “Yeah, that means good luck.” Malleus hummed, “It may mean good luck to you, but to me it’s a reminder of what Lilia told me whilst you were away.” He sighed and looked away and started walking once again. Yuu got concerned and followed him. Malleus then began to explain himself, “Lilia is 700 years old while I am only 130, I was visiting the Ramshackle Dorm one night while you were away, and I cleaned up a few cauldrons. A couple hours later of just complete and utter silence, Lilia arrived and told me that Sebek couldn’t find me anywhere and he was having a panic attack about it. Then soon after we both laughed about it, Lilia looked at the sky and I followed so, the planets were in a complete line, well one planet was trying to make it a full line, he told me, ‘Oh would you look at that, I haven’t seen the planets be in such a fine line for a hundred years…’ and he sighed and told me, ‘…this may be the last time I see it’.” He stared up at the stars again and said, “Seeing those stars like that just makes me remember what he told me… it pains me to think about… I knew Lilia was going to die but I hoped it wouldn’t be as soon as he’s saying it will be…”

Malleus kept himself from tearing up and Yuu walked over and they spoke, “I’m sorry the aligned stars make you think like that. I’m sure Lilia will see the planets align again. Is dying at 700 years old normal for Fae?” Malleus had to think for a minute on how to answer this question. But once he came up with how to answer, he spoke, “Yes and no… let me explain this with a metaphor of a human…” he said and Yuu looked up and listened to Malleus.

“Humans usually die between the ages of 70 and 80, right?” Malleus asked and Yuu thought for a moment and nodded their head, “Yes, that is usually the age.” Malleus nodded once, “So, Lilia is basically the human years of his 70s. Fae usually die in between the years 700-800, some last until they’re 1000 years old, others get to their 900s sometimes. Very few last longer than their 1000s.” Yuu started to realize the similarities and they spoke, “Oh! Like humans can sometimes and rarely last to their 100s.” Malleus hummed with a smile and nodded, “Yes, at least from what I know in my 130 years of life. Humans are learning to last rather long. When I was younger than I am now, humans used to last until their 40s if they were lucky that is and very rarely compared to others, they would last until they were in their 80s… human years and lives are very fascinating to me, especially now that I know you.” Malleus said suavely and he took Yuu’s hand and kissed the top of it.

“You’re very fascinating yourself, Hornton.” Yuu said with a small smile. Malleus was caught off guard and he blushed, “I…” he then smirked slightly and said with a sway of his voice, “…you never cease to amaze me, child of man.” Yuu laughed a bit, “Slow down with the compliments there, or you’ll end up becoming speechless.” They teased lightly. Malleus laughed a bit, “Very well, child of man.”

The two walked together around the still destroyed Ramshackle dorm and soon Malleus spoke again, “Why are you out here this late by the way?” He looked down at Yuu and Yuu looked up at him, “I couldn’t sleep, the things with Idia were just too much. I felt so useless, and albeit kind of scared…” Malleus was surprised by this, “Is my fearless human finally finding themself a fear?” Yuu laughed lightly, “A most terrifying fear… the fear of death, we were all lucky we got out of there with our lives… then there’s Ace and Deuce… they almost died, so I guess it’s a fear of loss too?” They sighed, “I’ve been having nightmares since we’ve returned… death grabbing me and bringing me down into darkness… I feel like an inconvenience to everyone because I cannot do anything… everyone does everything for me, and sometimes they almost die because of it…” they tear up a bit.

Malleus' eyes widened as he listened. He opened his mouth to speak but a raven cawed twice in the trees nearby. He raises his hand and waved it to reassure the raven Yuu is alright. Then he looked back at Yuu and said, “I’m very sorry to hear that, my dearest human,” he cupped Yuu’s cheek and smiled at him. “Would you like me to bring a smile to that beautiful face of yours, my dear?” He bowed as if he were a man from the 18th century bowing to a lady and held his hand out to Yuu. Yuu hummed with a small smile, “As if you hadn’t already.” They said and they took his hand and Malleus kissed the top of it. “There may be no music playing, but I can sing for us.” He held one of his hands around Yuu’s waist then his other hand, he held Yuu’s delicately as if they were a piece of glass. Then he started leading a waltz with Yuu following, “Hornton, I have two left feet…” they said and Malleus hummed a laugh, “As if that matters.” He said softly. Then he began to sing quietly as they danced to the song.

After the song was finished and the two got slightly dizzy, they stopped and Malleus smiled at them, “I hope I have made your night better, my dear.” He spoke with a voice of concern as well as hope. “Yes you did, Hornton.” They answered and he nodded, “Good.” He said. Yuu then asked, “Hornton, did you know the bird that cawed earlier?” They looked around the trees where they were. “Oh yes, I did. His name is Branwen, he’s my Raven, my wings and my eyes in the sky.” Yuu nodded and asked, “He’s still here?” Malleus nodded once, “Indeed.” He then whistled and extended his arm and a raven flew down from one of the very big trees and landed on him. Branwen tilted his head at Yuu and Malleus said, “Yuu, this is Branwen; Branwen, Yuu.” Yuu smiled and raised their hand up to pet Branwen who allowed them to by putting his head down. “Such a pretty bird…” Yuu said. Malleus rolled his eyes, “You called him a ‘pretty bird’ and now he’s going to love you forever.” He teased, “You made his head grow 10x larger.” Branwen looked at Malleus, offended. “Not literally, figuratively.” Branwen shrugged him off and looked at Yuu. “In other words, you grew his ego.” Malleus said. Yuu laughed a bit, “Sorry Hornton, I was only speaking the truth.” They smiled at Branwen. Malleus shook his head in amusement, “Alright, go back to your tree now, Branwen.” Branwen squawked then nuzzled Yuu and he flew off.

“Branwen, unlike Sebek and Silver, is a guard for me without it being his job. He just guards me because I saved him from being hunted and eaten by a dog, or was it a cat… hmm, oh well.” Malleus explained and he continued walking with Yuu following, “He’s a shapeshifter, that’s his signature spell. He learned how to change his own form because Lilia and I refused to change him back from a chihuahua to a human.” He added and he laughed a bit, “He was always a raven, I'm the one that made him human to keep him from being hunted.” He finished. Yuu nodded, “I see, he seems nice.” Malleus laughed, “He is, but he’s a pain as well.” He said. Yuu laughed too. “Anyway, do you think you may be able to sleep for the night?” Malleus asked, Yuu nodded, “Yes, I do.” They said and Malleus smiled, “Good, I shall escort you to the hall of mirrors and was it the Pomefiore dorm you’re staying at until Ramshackle is fixed?” He asked and Yuu nodded, “Yes, that’s very nice of you.” They said and Malleus hummed, “Only doing what I can for you, child of man.” The two walk together, arms linked, to the hall of mirrors and outside the Pomefiore dorm’s mirror, Yuu looked up at Malleus and kissed his cheek, “Thank you, Malleus.” They said and they left through the Pomefiore mirror with Malleus’ help.

Soon Malleus returned to the Diasomnia dorm and went to wake up Silver, “Silver, I have a task for you to do tonight…” he shook Silver and Silver awoke and asked, “A task..? At…” he looked at the time on his clock, “…2 in the morning?” He asked and Malleus nodded, Branwen sat on Malleus’ shoulder and Silver sighed and said, “Fine, what’s the task?”

“Give Yuu a good dream tonight.”

[artemis-fowl-incident-report]

Diary of the Ho Chi Minh city Sprite

Day 1 of exile:

How? How could they do this to me? Was I not loyal? Was I not accommodating? Was I not accomplished? I gave my life to my research, for the People. I found new ways to acquire magic without getting so close to the humans. Ways to make ourselves stronger, to be ready to face the mud folk if the need arose.

Were some of the ways I found out this information extreme? Yes. But cruel? Never. How can it be cruel when those I experimented on volunteered? They knew the risks, knew the pain they would experience, but they knew it was for the People. And I ensured none of them, not a single drop of blood, went to waste.

And for that they called me a heretic. Me! Heaven knows most of the council spit in the face of the old Gods every day with their womanising and disregard of nature, but you don't see anyone accusing them of heresy.

I've made my way to a city not too far from the sea here in Vietnam. Its better to hide myself for the time being, in case any rogue bounty hunters come along looking for a quick score.

Year 1 of exile:

The locals seem friendly, so long as I heal their warts and spin some drivel about prophecies and such. Humans can be really ridiculous sometimes. The children, though, they're more swayed by money and a good story. I can respect that. And they're more than willing to trade. I wonder how many fathers are left scratching their heads about where their rice wine has gone, or mothers left perplexed about how quickly they used up all their mandrake root. Its not much, but it should do for the moment.

Truly the worst thing so far is the boredom. In Haven City, there was light and music and colour. Here they've barely figured out how electricity works. And that boredom just heightens the anxiety of if the authorities will find me soon.

Year 100 of exile:

An elf came today. An officer. I saw his badge inside his coat. Turnball Root. He came asking about magic. Seems he's been participating in some illegal activities himself, and needs a spark of two to keep him going. You best believe I made him pay handsomely. Truly I don't care what he does with that information. The fairy people are beyond my respect or my concern... Even so... there was evil in that man. Palpable evil.

Year 1000 of exile:

Nguyen came this morning. I've told him once, I've told him a thousand times. No about of magic is bringing his hair back. He was polite about it, as always, but something about it felt... off. He refused to come into my little tent, standing outside like a scared child. When I reached out to take the payment for his mothers medication, I heard a mechanical clicking sound. Did he take a photograph of me?

I hear his voice coming down the alley. I shall see what he and his apparent new friends have to say.

I woke up today and I do not remember yesterday. I do not remember the last week.

What has happened to me?

What have I done?

[fanficfish]

hetalia parenting hcs and theories

i got on a Sweden kick lately, alright-

Austria wasn't *too* great at parenting (*gestures at Italy*) when he was younger, but to be fair: the man obtained a child, was essentially being bossed around by his younger brother, and also the kid was Italy. His punishments were on the nicer end of the spectrum considering the time period, though-as far as we're aware, his punishments were more towards "stop Italy from eating a fifth serving of pasta" then anything physical (wait is that why Italy's so into pasta now, is it trauma? ...let's not unpack that right now-). But if it's related to art- that he can appreciate, that's the main trait that sticks around with Kugelmugel. Austria would totally get mad at his charges/kids for messing up his own art, but he won't actively stop them from expressing themselves, as an artist that would be hypocritical. He'll deny he cares about his wards when asked, though. Hungary thinks it's cute. And yes, he totally gets Italy to come over to hang out with Kugel because "you're artists, right? Go on, I'll be over in the corner playing Mozart."

China - nah he's just a normal Asian parent. Drives everyone up the wall, means well, stuffs everyone full until they're bursting, then beats them over the head with a frying pan until they finish their chores. Love language? Food. So. Much. Food. Even Japan can't always escape the Family Dinner, and to his great dismay China acts like he's going to starve (he's not, he swears-) and.

America is that dad that has free-range kids, because well. America. Also, he has other things besides parenting 50 states and all of his territories and micronations and Native nations, because do you know how many personifications that is? A lot. He's 400, not 1000, between him and Canada they're kinda just accepted they need to delegate a lot and just never plan on a family dinner-that's why America throws a big party on all major holidays and Canada sometimes joins in ("the states and provinces all hang out anyways"). Both America and Canada but mostly America's inboxes are constantly full, and they have one phone for work and the other nation personifications and whatnot and one for "family matters". It's fine, most of them govern themselves anyways- wait, what do you mean Florida is fighting an aligator on the NASA launchpad-?!

Prussia actually didn't do half bad, but Germany was already half-grown, so that helped. He passed the parenting test with flying colors though.

Denmark (and Norway)....Iceland took one look and wisely decided not to move in with them like other nations were doing with their caretakers and stayed on his island. Away. Far away from Vikings and all the ridiculous things going on with wars and what-gives. He, Greenland, the Farce Islands, Aland- they all were quite content to just ignore the chaos their big brothers were stirring up and to be fair, maybe having the immortal 13-year-olds raising 6-year-olds wasn't the best idea.....Denmark did try, though, when he wasn't being beat up by Sweden or fighting the neighbors. Making trips to Iceland (the country) (with Norway in tow, of course) and bringing gifts from the mainland, and such. Iceland in turn visited, but very rarely- he did his best to jsut skip whatever nightmare Denmark cooked up during the Kalmer Union (wise choice all things considered) and visited only when necessary, no wonder Finland and Sweden didn't really meet him until the 1700s and it took to the 1950s before Iceland deemed his brothers were mostly sane again. But all things considered he got a decent end of the straw, and he got his quiet life, though there's a reason Norway mother hens him (bro feels bad he didn't do much with the kid for the first 800 years after the initial "yo you're mine now, oh wait now we're both Denmark's" thing).. Iceland takes it in stride even if he found out he wasw a bit more touch-starved then he realized. The other Nordics definitrely mother hen him now, and Estonia tries to act like it too but really he ends up like that weird slightly-older cousin who keeps turning up for some weird reason. (Y'all, Estonia and Iceland are physically the same age I can't-)

Sweden is the ultimate dad. Welll, the ultimate dad that spoils his kids but still a dad. Actually pays some degree of attention to the kids he ends up with, even if he isn't technically supposed to acknowledge Ladonia as a country but "c'mon, there' sa personification, and also he's MY kid. I made this. Technically. Don't you DARE touch his laptop". Also Sweden definitely is the one fixing the laptop when something goes wrong, He kind of wishes Ladonia and Sealand meeting didn't happen by Sealand getting super bored and making a micronations club but he supposes at least it worked out. Finland pretends he's staying out of it, but he's kind of hyped there are kids and a dog around. Funnily enough, Selanad only found out later that Iceland is his uncle....after trying to declare he was his "sempai". Iceland was not amused, because dammit he's 1000, you little- Sweden, get your children under control!

England and France.....well, at least France tried to keep America from drinking too much beer once but neither did particularly outstanding jobs. But hey, Canada and America are alive and mostly in one piece! So that's a win, right? Right? Australia, New Zealand, back us up here- PUT DOWN THAT KANGAROO, YOUNG MEN- (England also had a bad habit of delegating but that's what happened when your wards span the whole world and you can't really bring them all home because they're territories and colonies. England the personification was secretly glad he didn't' have to deal with whatever personification nightmare was going on in America after a while). (But they do care enough that England wil still offer calming tea after a good soclsing and lug Sealand home after he sneaks into another world meeting because "you aren't going home at this time of night that's rodiculous- what no ofc i don't care but don't hitchhike back home that's dangeorus!" And France will invite his lot pvwe for dinner and throw "extra things i had lyong around" at them during Paris Fashion Week. They care but in a strange, "we're flipping old ans don't always get ir" way.

And Spain just tried his dammed hardest to keep Romano from doing stupid stuff. Not that it worked, of course, but E for Effort!

I can't think of any more right now. I'll add more when i think of it. Obviously out of everyone, Greece and maybe Egypt probably had the best upbringing. With somewhat-normal parental figures that weren't preteens and teens running around trying to figure out how to care for five-year-olds

[blackbat05]

Golden Trio of Tennis ⭐️🎾 - Order of the Phoenix

Note: I think I might have gone crazy with these headcanons . Excuse me😂 If you have any ideas on what I should do next, drop me a DM!

Dark times. Fear is running high. Everyone has different ways to deal and manage with their emotions. Including our trio.

Carlos

Carlos is passionate 3000% in fighting back. He makes it known to everyone that he’s a rebel. That has gotten him into a lot of trouble.

The back of his hand is badly scarred as he exits Umbridge’s office for the sixth time this week. But he’s already planning the next revolt.

It’s brutal on the Qudditch Pitch. The Slytherins are out for Alcaraz’s blood. He almost had a bludger taking out his head.

So he sends a well aimed bludger to their Keeper and that’s how he got disqualified from the match.

Carlos rarely gets mad. He’s usually the happy go lucky one that shines brighter than the sun. But there are always exceptions.

Like now as he chucks his broom aside and glares at Umbridge for that decision.

That’s how he ended up in her office for the seventh time.

His scars are starting to become worse and Carlos cannot simply ignore it.

Jannik. But security is much higher now since Umbridge took over.

Wait a minute…

The golden retriever limps towards the Ravenclaw tower and waits outside until someone from the house sees him.

A second year boy ends up scooping the injured dog into his arms and informs Jannik about it. (Yes, they know that this Golden belongs to Jannik. Or at least comes to look for Jannik every single time)

Jannik

Jannik was deep into his potions assignment when the boy comes. He can’t believe his eyes.

Sweet, mild tempered Jannik could feel his rage bubbling in his stomach. That foul b-

He forces himself to cool down quickly to prepare the potion for the injuries from his diminishing potions kit.

He puts it in a dish and coaxes dog Carlos to drink it. But the dog only whines and crawls into his lap.

“Carlos… you have to drink it.” Jannik is weak at the sight of his friend who usually is so full of energy. But Carlos just wants to sleep.

So Jannik puts him on a pillow, wrapped in his Ravenclaw scarf.

He’s not as vocal as Carlos about disagreeing with Umbridge’s methods. But he does it in his own way by studying so much harder since Defense classes are literally a joke.

Somehow with Umbridge’s presence, students whose parents have been associated with Death Eaters get 1000% cockier. Jannik doesn’t give a shit though.

Some 7th year Slytherin tried to hex Jannik while he wasn’t paying attention but Jannik was too quick for him, hexing him right back with a jelly leg jinx.

WITHOUT being caught by Umbridge.

Because he also hexed the Slytherin’s big mouth.

Never, ever cross Jannik. He’s quiet but he’s a deadly fighter. When you hurt his friends, he’ll give it back to you tenfold.

And this time, someone has his back.

Holger

Although he’s from Slytherin, he’s almost if not even more reckless than Carlos and Jannik combined.

He openly talks back to Umbridge about her teaching methods and she can’t do anything about it.

Now this is where it gets funny.

Every evening, Holger would turn into his Animagus form, and find a way to sneak into Umbridge’s office when she’s away and take a piss on her desk, seat and on every surface that’s possible.

Ooooh the way Umbridge was seething during morning breakfast, Holger couldn’t help but to snicker.

During one DADA lesson, Holger’s retort had rendered her speechless.

“Cat got your tongue, Professor?”

Umbridge knows that Holger has something to do with this. She doesn’t understand why the child from an esteemed pure blood family would join those filthy half breeds and m*dbloods

Carlos is sitting beside Holger, having recovered from his injuries. He gives a happy Holger a fist pump under the table.

Yeah… Holger’s probably planning what to do next to terrorize that good for nothing woman. If it means that Carlos is back to his old self again.

[sugar-glaze-donut]

I can't write shit recently cause I'm really busy, but I had another Isekai!Akuneko AU >:D

So, so... I know I've been writing about Isekai!Aruji-sama a lot BUT! What if MC was isekai-ed, not as Aruji-sama, but as a butler/maid in Devil's Palace, an NPC who gave the past butlers happiness before the despair, or an angel! (I'm going to write the NPC and Angel AU in another post)

🎻-🧪- Isekai!MC but differrent -☕-📱

Outcome 1: You spawn into the world as a Devil Butler/ Maid.

It's just that one day... a new butler/ maid enters the mansion and POOF! Now we have a different soul in the body!

For example, if spawned in the early days of the Devil Butlers, you will find the oldest butlers in the original timeline (Berrien, Miyaji, and Lucas), and you can gain their trust knowing they'll most likely (they have to be) alive at the point when the main plot begins. There are obviously going to be other butlers in the mansion, so you could try to save them and spare some trauma for poor Miyaji. You could prevent Lucas and Miyaji from getting into the fight that caused them to give each other the silent treatment for a thousand years (and maybe prevent Miyaji to get his scar). With this, your relationship with Lucas and Miyaji (dilf duo *cough*) will be pretty ok. Do they trust you? Yes ✅ Will they be mad at you constantly for risking your life for others too much? Yes ✅ Will you be invited to their wine parties? Absolutely yes! ✅✅ Will they be relying on you a lot? Yes yes!! 100% YES ✅✅✅

They'll stick next to you like glue. From the main and side stories, it is said that they treated each other like brothers until the big fight they had. They'll treat you like their little sibling who has to deal with all their shit (good luck with the next few centuries with them...) Or if MC has a motherly personality, they'll both joke that Miyaji is the dad, Lucas is the weird Uncle, and you're the Mom/ other Dad

As for Berrien though? At first, he may think you're a very helpful butler/ maid since you're running around the palace helping everyone in sight. But as time goes on and the new butlers (Lamli, Lato, the problem man-children in general) come along, he might think it's really sus that you know how to handle each and every butler with their unique personalities. Sure, you have been a butler/ maid in Devil's Palace for quite a long time, and you've met new butlers and known lots of unique people over those years, but something feels... off. Just know he'll be having his guard up whenever he's with you (But he doesn't hate you don't worry)

As for the butlers that came after (a few centuries before the main story begins) like Haures and Fennesz will look up to you like a little brother to an older sibling (ouch, Fennesz's trauma kicking in). You can save Boschi from losing his arm and eye, give Fennesz more self-confidence, and Ammon... to at least let him trust you (if you succeed congrats! Now you have another emotionally unstable boy by your side!!).

There's going to be one point where you and Miyaji find Lato living in the forest after years of the torment he's faced locked up in a science lab. And what are you going to do about it? Give him love and comfort of course!! He won't open up to you immediately (Lato's trust issues) but with your knowledge of a 1000+ year old person and memories of the character's personality, now you have a child! The child is Lato btw. You're now his new mother/ father and you don't have a choice. Oh my, such a happy family! *crashing sounds in the distance*

Then gaining Lamli's trust. He's not that hard like Lato, just needs a pinch of Lucas, and... BOOM now you have another magnet stuck to you good job :D

(I'm not sure about Nac's past since I haven't looked into his side stories)

Now for the new butlers. Not new like Teddy, Hanamaru, and Yuhan, a few decades before the main plot. First, we have Bastien and Lono. An Emo and a Sunshine boy... how nice :D You're in for a treat. Lono is known to be the best cook so better eat those plates clean! And Bastien... silent acknowledgment I guess. He won't open up until the events of Episode 1 come to a close, so it's best to have some common interests with him like carving and fluffy animals to at least crack his walls down.

I'm not quite sure about Flure's past, but at least save try to save Zepal (the butler that gets demonized a few years before the plot) for him. Alright?

Now, I believe you deserve a new title~! Now you're the younger butler's parental figure!! I'm going to bet my soul Lamli will call you Mama-chan or Papa-kun as your nickname.

Possible love interests in this AU outcome will be... Aruji-sama, and possibly Berrien? Aruji-sama is pretty self-explanatory. I mean, who wouldn't want to date someone as pretty as you? And Berrien is... an Enemy/ Stranger to Lovers kinda troupe? He won't trust you much at first, but over those decades and centuries he might one day... one day open up to you.

Last Edited: August 14th 2023 (oh no... you just completed another cringe masterpiece by me... you liked it that much? 😳)

[winterisol]

So another fic that I have on the backburner (very slowly simmering) is an Alex Marquez!Mechanic AU, where he isn't as co-depedent on Marc (and vice versa) so he goes and pursues a college degree in mechanical engineering.

I think he would attend the Polytechnic University of Milan. Really good program, is in Italy aka. where all the motorsports jobs are (at least compared to Spain). And yes Alex is gonna be a little genius/nerd. Why? Because I said so. But also because I don't think people realize how similar Alex and Marc are personality/value-wise if that makes sense. Both strike me as people who put 1000% into everything they do, for Marc its being insane on motorcycles, for Alex it was academics. Like whenever Alex followed Marc to races he would sit in their motorhome all day studying and doing homework until the race started. In this AU Alex never rides competitively, and is very happy being the youngest child cheering on his insane brother.

I think Alex still idolizes Marc to an extent, but they aren't as co-dependent in this fic (Alex is still 100% ready to call out Marc's BS tho, thats a sibling thing). However, I do think distance makes Alex even more protective of Marc. Like after everything that happens in 2015, Alex is very much anti-Valentino Rossi, like if he ever sees Vale he will chase the old man down like a starved lion.

Anyway, Alex goes to Uni finishing his masters in 5 years (23 when he graduates). Right out of college he is given an offer to work with LCR Honda as a mechanic for Honda. Gets to be there for his brother's sixth world championship for the first time since 2013. After a very good year in LCR there is some internal restructuring and he finds himself in Pol Esparago's garage for 2020. Cue the whole Marc disaster period of 2020-2023, and I think Alex at first kinda struggles trying to adjust into a team that used to only look at him as Marc's cute little brother. I think he might also have some subconcious guilt that the bike the team is building (which includes him) is only getting worse, and therefore feels responsible for Marc's injuries.

Anyway this is all set up for where the actual fic starts lol. And 2024 is where he ends up getting moved to the other side of the garage, of Luca Marini.

[mariana-oconnor]

The Naval Treaty pt 3

Yes, we apparently have got to the point where I'm memeing myself.

Right, last time, after Percy, Watson's old 'pal' from school failed magnificently at understanding how to protect confidential data, he followed an old woman into the night and the stress gave him a brain fever. Meanwhile, I'm still certain that Joseph Harrison, who has not been implicated in any way, is involved because I am a well-balanced and entirely reasonable person.

Mr. Joseph Harrison drove us down to the station

See! He's trying to get rid of you! 🤣🤣😂

“It's a very cheery thing to come into London by any of these lines which run high, and allow you to look down upon the houses like this.”

Last time we had Holmes looking out a train window: Ugh, look how terrible the countryside is! I can't bear it.

The contrast is palpable.

“The board-schools.” “Light-houses, my boy! Beacons of the future! Capsules with hundreds of bright little seeds in each, out of which will spring the wise, better England of the future. I suppose that man Phelps does not drink?”

Board schools are not the same as boarding schools, the internet tells me, but the first state run schools with no religious affiliation. I was about to be cynical about Holmes' view of children and Victorian educational standards, but I can't. He's right, those schools were important and really did pave the way for a brighter future.

And then a bit of mental whiplash as he snaps back to the case at hand, because he's Holmes.

In answer to the question, I can't say whether Percy drinks alcohol, but he definitely has a caffeine addiction that he should work on. If not for that, he wouldn't be in this mess.

Also, it was unreasonable of his uncle to expect him to copy so much text in a foreign language in one night. But even so, Percy needs to work harder on curbing his need for coffee.

"Then came the smash, and she stayed on to nurse her lover, while brother Joseph, finding himself pretty snug, stayed on too."

Oh, so he's just hanging around leeching off people, huh? Exactly as I suspected! This is just the beginning. Clearly, he's been a wrong'un all along and I will be vindicated.

"But to-day must be a day of inquiries.” “My practice—” I began. “Oh, if you find your own cases more interesting than mine—” said Holmes, with some asperity.

First of all, Watson does have a job, Holmes. I get that you want to play with him, but he does have responsibilities. You really shouldn't be bitchy about that.

Second, if Watson actually cares enough about his patients to ditch you, that would be the first time ever.

“I was going to say that my practice could get along very well for a day or two, since it is the slackest time in the year.”

See. No problem at all. Why would Watson ever do his actual job when he could be running around with Holmes? What a preposterous idea!

"...there is Lord Holdhurst.” “Lord Holdhurst!” “Well, it is just conceivable that a statesman might find himself in a position where he was not sorry to have such a document accidentally destroyed.” “Not a statesman with the honorable record of Lord Holdhurst?”

Oh Watson, my sweet summer child. Out there believing in unicorns and fairies and honourable politicians.

I discounted him because honestly, a political plot involving the politician uncle and corruption seemed too spy thriller. Also, the time frame of everything being nine weeks ago, I think discounts a political motive because if there were spy games going on, it would be far too late to do anything about it. Of course, it might be the case. These stories have surprised me a few times so far.

“£10 reward. The number of the cab which dropped a fare at or about the door of the Foreign Office in Charles Street at quarter to ten in the evening of May 23d. Apply 221b, Baker Street.”

The Bank of England inflation calculator tells me that's equivalent to approximately £1000 today, which is a pretty impressive reward for a little bit of information. Honestly, I'd expect people to be climbing out of the woodwork to say they saw Queen Victoria herself driving the cab and dropping off Jack the Ripper.

"Why yes, Mr Holmes, I saw a man with a long white beard and carrying a large sack. No, it was right odd, y'see: he didn't go in through the door. He climbed up on' roof and went down the chimney, that he did."

"And then, of course, there is the bell—which is the most distinctive feature of the case. Why should the bell ring?"

This is what I'm most interested in. What is up with that bell?

He sank back into the state of intense and silent thought from which he had emerged; but it seemed to me, accustomed as I was to his every mood, that some new possibility had dawned suddenly upon him.

Tell me! Tell me! I need to know. The bell is plaguing me.

a small, foxy man with a sharp but by no means amiable expression.

So Lestrade is a ferret and Forbes is a fox. Must all police officers be described as animals? This appears to be a pattern.

“You are ready enough to use all the information that the police can lay at your disposal, and then you try to finish the case yourself and bring discredit on them.” “On the contrary,” said Holmes, “out of my last fifty-three cases my name has only appeared in four, and the police have had all the credit in forty-nine. I don't blame you for not knowing this, for you are young and inexperienced, but if you wish to get on in your new duties you will work with me and not against me.” “I'd be very glad of a hint or two,” said the detective, changing his manner.

Forbes changes his tune pretty quickly here, so he seems open minded enough. Although it does seem a bit like he doesn't understand the purpose of Holmes. Yes, he's supposed to take all the evidence the police give him and try to solve the case. That's kind of how being a detective works. I get the emphasis here is on 'yourself', but still.

I like this exchange, because we've already seen in the stories that Holmes really doesn't care about the notoriety or the accolades - though he's more than willing to display gifts he's given in his own home - it's entirely the case and helping the people involved that he cares about.

Not sure he really needed to say that 'you are young and inexperienced' bit, though. Seems a tad direct.

“We have set one of our women on to her. Mrs. Tangey drinks, and our woman has been with her twice when she was well on, but she could get nothing out of her.”

OK, I thought it sounded unlikely that there were female police officers in the late 1800s, and it seems like the first female police officer in London was in 1919. But it definitely appears from this that they have women working for them - unless one of them has set his wife on a suspect, which... fair. Fascinating either way.

Also, Mrs Tangey has an alcohol problem, that could be an angle.

“What explanation did she give of having answered the bell when Mr. Phelps rang for the coffee?” “She said that he husband was very tired and she wished to relieve him.”

Alright, so it either was her, or she's involved in some way. Which I think we already suspected, but this clarifies that no one impersonated her without her knowledge, at least.

“Did you point out to her that you and Mr. Phelps, who started at least twenty minutes after he, got home before her?” “She explains that by the difference between a 'bus and a hansom.”

That's fair. Not everyone can afford their own taxi. Check your privilege, Holmes.

Standing on the rug between us, with his slight, tall figure, his sharp features, thoughtful face, and curling hair prematurely tinged with gray, he seemed to represent that not too common type, a nobleman who is in truth noble.

I may have rolled my eyes at this bit. Watson sometimes needs to back off on his earnest belief in the glory of England and its political and social systems. He's so classist it's actually painful at some points. Even if he's saying the type is 'not too common' it just makes me wrinkle my nose.

I also don't like Lord Holdhurst, but that's mainly because I believe hereditary nobility is immoral and also because he is a tory politician. There was never any hope of me liking him. I don't think he murders puppies, but I bet he'd pass legislation saying that murdering puppies is okay in certain circumstances if his old chum wanted to start a puppy murdering business and was a generous donor.

"I fear that the incident must have a very prejudicial effect upon his career.”

Yeah, that I do agree with.

“But if the document is found?” “Ah, that, of course, would be different.”

This, I do not agree with. Not after nine weeks, anyway. If it had been a couple of hours and the document was found to have fallen down the gap between the desk and the wall then he could probably just be given extra training and not allowed to touch confidential documentation without supervision for a few years. But it's been nine weeks. That treaty is lost. Even if it's returned, he still lost it for nine weeks.

“Did you ever mention to any one that it was your intention to give any one the treaty to be copied?” “Never.” “You are certain of that?” “Absolutely.”

OK. That cuts off that line of thinking, as Watson's insistence on him looking 'noble' clearly means we're supposed to believe him. But we already knew it wasn't him.

Because it's Joseph Harrison.

“If the treaty had reached, let us say, the French or Russian Foreign Office, you would expect to hear of it?” “I should,” said Lord Holdhurst, with a wry face.

Like I say, any political motivations would have been thoroughly completed by now, before Holmes was even called upon, so that's not likely.

“Of course, it is a possible supposition that the thief has had a sudden illness—” “An attack of brain-fever, for example?”

Given he called Holmes in, I sincerely doubt Percy's involved. Again, if this weren't a Sherlock Holmes story, there's a slim possibility it could be that his brain fever cause amnesia meaning that he doesn't remember taking the treaty and causing the whole problem, but that doesn't seem like a likely plot here.

“But he has a struggle to keep up his position. He is far from rich and has many calls. You noticed, of course, that his boots had been re-soled?"

OK so now we give him a motive, when you've all just gone on about how he's a 'fine fellow'? Are Lord Holdsworth's money problems going to be relevant to the plot? Maybe. We've heard nothing of Percy having any cousins, so as it stands he might be his uncle's heir. Not sure how that would lead to the treaty being stolen, but we'll bear it in mind.

Ah, and then Watson is racist again. Native Americans this time. These stories are really trying to spread the racism around, aren't they. This whole section is strange though, because it's about how Watson can't read Holmes' face, when multiple times (in this very story) he's said how he knows Holmes so well that he can instantly tell from his face what Holmes is thinking.

“God bless you for saying that!” cried Miss Harrison. “If we keep our courage and our patience the truth must come out.”

She and Watson should get together and have optimist meetings.

Although, it's definitely your brother, Miss Harrison. I don't know how, but it is. It's got to be. We're running out of suspects. Mrs Tangey seems like she might be involved, but I doubt she's the mastermind behind events.

Maybe Joseph just bribed her into trying to discredit Percy, she saw the paper and thought 'well this looks important' and took it not really knowing what it was.

But that doesn't explain the bell. Unless it's because she was drunk and she stumbled and grabbed it. Or she didn't really want to be doing it, so she pulled it in a weird attempt to get caught. Or she let Harrison in and then saw him stealing something and pulled the bell, only to be threatened if she said anything.

“Yes, we have had an adventure during the night, and one which might have proved to be a serious one.” His expression grew very grave as he spoke, and a look of something akin to fear sprang up in his eyes. “Do you know,” said he, “that I begin to believe that I am the unconscious centre of some monstrous conspiracy, and that my life is aimed at as well as my honor?”

He's probably right to be worried - maybe not for his life, but I'm pretty sure this entirely thing is aimed at him, not the treaty. But at the same time, this does not sound like the thinking of a mentally healthy person.

"A man was crouching at the window."

No. No, you see it could be him. Of course you're going to want to make it seem like it was someone from outside forcing their way in. To keep the suspicion off the people who live in the house. It has to be him. Has to be.

Did he have a knife, or was it just something that looked like a knife... like...

uh...

The thing he used to unlock the window?

"As it was, I rang the bell and roused the house. It took me some little time, for the bell rings in the kitchen and the servants all sleep upstairs. I shouted, however, and that brought Joseph down, and he roused the others."

Oh oh... convenient, being the first person on the scene, huh? Was that because you weren't in bed asleep at all? Mr Joseph Harrison?

(If I am by some miracle right about this, it will be entirely undeserved as literally the only reason I decided it was him is because he seemed too happy and his sister is getting married)

"There's a place, however, on the wooden fence which skirts the road which shows signs, they tell me, as if some one had got over, and had snapped the top of the rail in doing so."

Okay... well... well... that doesn't really fit with my theory at all, but maybe it's a coincidence. People climb over fences all the time. Maybe it happened ages ago. I bet they don't check the fences every day. Totally not a sign I'm wrong.

“Oh, yes, I should like a little sunshine. Joseph will come, too.”

Why?

No, seriously. Why? Percy says Joseph will come, but not his fiancee? That's weird. Is it because Joseph is stronger if Percy needs to be carried back?

"I should have thought those larger windows of the drawing-room and dining-room would have had more attractions for him.” “They are more visible from the road,” suggested Mr. Joseph Harrison.

And right here we have the classic Columbo moment. I know Sherlock Holmes came first, no need to send me angry messages. But this is something that happens in Every. Single. Columbo. It's part of his method, it's kind of his whole method. He makes a comment about 'I wonder why the murderer didn't do x' to the person he (and the audience) knows is the murderer and the villain, in an attempt to cover their own tracks, immediately presents an explanation.

“Do you think that was done last night? It looks rather old, does it not?” “Well, possibly so.”

Aw shucks, is Holmes not falling for your clever ruse? What a pity!

“Miss Harrison,” said Holmes, speaking with the utmost intensity of manner, “you must stay where you are all day. Let nothing prevent you from staying where you are all day. It is of the utmost importance.” “Certainly, if you wish it, Mr. Holmes,” said the girl in astonishment.

Not the weirdest thing Holmes has ever asked a person to do - still remember Watson pretzeling himself behind the headboard that one time - but still kinda weird. I hope she has some sort of enrichment in her enclosure. Tell me she has a bookcase at least.

“Why do you sit moping there, Annie?” cried her brother. “Come out into the sunshine!”

Look! LOOK! He's trying to get her out of the room. He hid the treaty in the room and now he's trying to get it back but he can't! All aboard the Joseph Harrison train, next stop: Vindication.

Got to assume that even though Joseph wasn't present when Holmes was speaking to Anne, or when he was speaking to Percy, he will be aware that Percy is not in the house. But he'll only be able to break into the room by the window again, so I guess that is the plan. To catch him red-handed.

[whumpitlikeyoumeanit]

The Need of Malfoy Men to Please Their Fathers Was Not Only Pathological, It Was Magical

((Content warning: Child abuse, mind control / conditioning, chid whumpee, domination ))

((Promptspiration: @week-of-whump 2023: October 13: Child Whump

the idea of this Au backstory is @thebestieyoureinlovewith's (here) With apologies; I think I made the parents a little darker than intended...))

Whumpee: Draco

Whumper: Lucius

Caretaker: --

Whump type: Mental / Domination

Fic type: Weird AU (Malfoy Blood Magic)

((words: ~1000))

------------------------------------

Narcissa dragged the crying, uncooperative boy into the study by the arm, tugging firmly when he squirmed yet again and redoubled his sobbing, digging in his feet on the carpet.

"Lucius, if you're going to punish him," she gritted out between her teeth, "you deal with it."

Lucius glanced up mildly from his papers. "Just leave him in his room."

"If that worked, I would have done it," she snapped. "It has been three hours. Either let him go or keep him yourself." She pushed Draco up beside the desk. He squirmed in her hands to try to turn away, but she held him firmly.

The look he gave her was indulgent; he didn't think this was necessary, but if she was demanding it... He turned toward the end of the desk and crossed his legs. "Draco."

Draco faced him with his head hanging, refusing to look, clumsy hands clutching and yanking at the front of his shirt, still sobbing. There were no actual tears, of course; he'd been 'crying' so long that he'd used them all up, and left just the emotion and the noise.

"Draco," he repeated severely, and the boy squirmed his face away into his shoulder. "Why are you crying?"

He yanked hard on his clothes. "It hurts!" he yelled.

"No, it doesn't," he corrected patiently. The boy didn't really have the words; he wasn't quite four, so it was reasonable, he supposed. A little disappointing, though. "It feels bad. That isn't pain."

"No! It hurts!"

"Are you talking back to me?"

Draco flinched and sobbed harder.

Lucius tapped his foot lightly. Draco squirmed to resist and when he figured out he couldn't, that his mother was still blocking him from running away, he flung himself down on the floor at his father's feet with a petulant sob.

"Why does it feel bad?"

"Because you're mad at me!" he wailed. Above him, Narcissa pressed her eyes closed and took a deep, sharp breath, rubbing her temple.

"No, I am not," he corrected calmly. "If I were angry with you, it would be pain." Not intentionally, of course; it wasn't as though he would be, say, Crucioing him. But the magic that bound them together responded to emotion. "I am disappointed."

"I'm sorry!"

"Don't beg," he said coolly. "You are a Malfoy." His disapproval naturally heightened the unpleasant feeling playing through Draco's nerves, and the boy shrieked and kicked at the floor.

"Lucius," Narcissa said tightly. "This is unbearable. You should have either activated this curse years ago, or waited until he was old enough to be reasonable."

"It isn't a curse," he said mildly.

"It is a curse to me," she snapped. "This is not 'handling it'."

"You have to be patient. It is a process. Draco." The boy flinched at the sound of his name, and he didn't care for that. "Look at me."

Draco shook his head wildly. Lucius patiently put his foot out to stop the motion of his head, then when he got him still, laid his toe under his chin and turned his face up to make him look. "Good," he said, the mildest of praise. "That feels better, doesn't it?"

"No," he sniffled petulantly.

"Yes, it does," he corrected. He knew it did; Draco was hardly the first Malfoy boy to be bound by this spell. It had existed in their family so long it wasn't even really a spell, per se, but some of that 'old magic' that seemed built into the fabric of the world. He knew exactly how Draco felt. But Draco was such a stubborn and wildly emotional child who seemed to revel in his sulking, he wouldn't even admit to relief. "Do you know why it feels better?"

"No..."

"Because you did as I said. Do you understand?"

Draco sniffled without responding.

"Do something I don't like..." he prompted.

He squirmed and tried to take his head back, but Lucius kept his foot under his jaw so he couldn't. "It feels bad," Draco finally said in a small voice.

"Good. And to feel better..."

"Do as you say..."

"Correct." He took his foot back. "If you ever manage to please me, it will feel good." It wasn't easy to obtain, but the feel of your father's pride was intoxicating. They'd see if Draco ever managed it.

Draco sat down firmly on his butt and sniffled again.

Lucius tapped the floor with his foot again for his attention. "What do I want you to do?"

"I don't know," he sniffled petulantly.

"I told you."

"I don't know!"

Well, he was young. He supposed he couldn't hold too many things in his mind for that long. "I want you to thank me properly."

It was a classic test. Moreover, it was a highly effective trial, for them. Malfoy boys were so proud -- as they should be, of course -- that they had to really commit to do any such thing. It helped them understand their place, and effectively demonstrated the possible rewards for doing what their father wanted instead of what their instincts were telling them.

Draco yanked at his shirt again, looking up at him with big, wet eyes.

"Say 'thank you'."

"Thank you..." Draco echoed.

"'Sir'."

"Sir." He tapped his foot on the carpet, and Draco looked at it, then back up at him. "Thank you, sir?" he repeated tenatively.

He didn't need to smile at that; the way Draco gasped when the unpleasant feeling abruptly transmuted to a good, warming tingle that couldn't properly be described said it all. The sobbing and sniffling stopped as suddenly as if they were an act he forgot he was putting on.

He was actually surprised, himself, at how satisfying it felt to be on the receiving end of that submission. He wondered for the first time if perhaps the ancient magic went both ways.

"Finally," Narcissa sighed. "I am going to have a nap. Don't make him cry again if you can help it."

"I doubt you have to worry." He turned back to his desk, and glanced down at Draco. He was looking up at him now with a sort of wonder. "You can stay," he said magnanimously.

[chronicallyuniconic]

Do doctors exist simply to torment? What the fuck just happened😖

I cannot believe the fucking telephone appointment I've just had. It was setup a couple of weeks ago under "medication review" but didn't specify what medication they'd be reviewing. A simple medication review. I've done it 1000 times, usually with a pharmacist.

This time, a doctor/pharmacist/receptionist I don't know, I've never heard or seen before calls (even tho it's from the surgery number), "I'm ringing about your med review" I ask him to clarify which ones as I wasn't told. One of them is my migraine tablet(M), the other my asthma inhaler(A).

"How long have you been on M?" "You can't be on M anymore as they (are known to) impact your asthma" I explained I'd been on them for a long while and have not had any asthma problems because of them. I explained what does flare my asthma. Then he says "well if M are causing wheezing..." No I said, they don't cause wheezing, I've had no problems despite you saying they impact my asthma." He responds with, "How do you know its asthma, what if you DON'T have asthma?" is this guy taking the piss? I look at my phone to make sure I am actually speaking to the fucking surgery I'm registered with.

Like... I get inhalers every month, before covid I go to asthma clinic every year (because you have to), I had to have my tonsils removed as a child because they stopped me breathing & tonsilitis always made asthma flare. It's been there since childhood (thanks for the prenatal cigarettes mam). And all of a sudden my old ass is having to explain to what is basically a stranger on my phone, about my own asthma. This guy is sat there with my medical notes for fucks sake. I say to him "sorry are you actually questioning whether or not I have asthma something I've had my whole life?"

He goes back to his original point. "you can't have M anymore because of asthma" so I ask how to manage migraines without M. He offers another medication i can't take because they make you sleepy, and I already take meds that do that. If he'd looked...."oh they make you sleepy do they," talking to himself" well yes you would be quite zonked out so let's not do that one then"

He offers another medication used for "blood pressure." High, low? Who fucking knows? I told him about my BP problems for him to say "well let's see how you get on with it or give us a ring back" not even caring or failing to understand the frequency and severity of which I faint. Again, read my notes.

I'm waiting for a Neurology appointment I explain, as I have been having frequent seizures. "and what have they said about migraines?" IM WAITING FOR THE APPOINTMENT ASSHOLE. "oh yes, I see that here now, seizures, yes."

He goes back to asthma. I am just dying to get off the phone, I want this conversation to end. I am beyond livid. Multiple times he actually questioned diagnoses that are on his damn screen or didn't even bother to look at. He's prescribed something I didn't even hear the name of because I wanted to launch my phone, that I can "pick up" from reception. My guy, I am bed/housebound. Again, if he only read the notes.

Now I have to wait to see what this is, understand why and if what he was going on about with the M is correct. It feels weird to be suddenly told nah ya can't really be on this now, unless some rules have changed overnight and they're having to cover their tracks.

This guys behaviour and words caused all sorts of medical trauma to surface, that constant battle of not being believed, being second guessed, and this time it's about fucking asthma, you know my INABILITY to breathe. I must somehow be imagining it and not really need an inhaler eh?

The best bit, the cherry on top, the icing on the cake, the bit that lessened my anger and brought me back to the sick joke the world is playing was "we would like to see you about your asthma and inhalers but due to STAFF SICKNESS, it will have to be in the New Year."

They forget that I have chronic fatigue and chronic pain, I'm just left to deal with this shit. Most of the time, I can't because I'm unable. So fed up. I just want to be believed. Heard. Does anyone do their job properly anymore? Do any doctors exist that want to help a patient or is it just fiction for the television?

Exhausted after all this.

[thebunniesgrim]

The camp counselor is a teenager technically, but I think people forgetting the context behind the word ‘teenager’  

Honestly just throw this post into the ether 

I'm 85 years to late but just hang on a minute I had the most lukewarm epiphany  

I know no one's talking about it anymore, but I think everyone's too busy talking about how bad it is and not why it looks like it's bad. I've seen post being like” um that a child” and other being like “no he's an adult”

I think understanding why everyone is having this problem is more important than just saying the problem is a problem

Everyone's like omg there's a bat in in my room and not why is there a bat in my room or how did the bat get in my room in the first place  

It just seems like people are yelling at each other without seeing why the other person is yelling to begin with.

You feel me? 

this "drama" in a nutshell

I think the disconnect between calling the Camp counselor in “Happy Campers” a teenager then Viv calling him an adult is a word context problem.  

In the states or at least where I grew up  

Once you’re 18 or 19 no calls you a teenager anymore and I think that’s what tripping people up. When you're 18 or 19 you are an adult, you're not a kid anymore. When someone says teenager, you think 16-, 15-, or 14-year-olds first. Someone still in high school, most 18/19-year-olds are in college or just finishing high school and are full legal adults.  

And I think that’s problem  

Barbie says, “do you know how easy teenage humans are to manipulate?” When someone says teenager, you don’t think of an 18-year-old. You think of a child. If she said young adult sure the joke wouldn’t have landed as hard or got a big reaction, but it would less yikes worthy you know?  

And he doesn’t really look like an adult, at least to me. I think he looks older than the other kids, but they look like middle schoolers so assuming he's just some kid in high school makes since to me and I can see why people are very uncomfortable. If they made him look similar to the lifeguard or maybe if we saw other camp counselors that would have been better. Also, I think his voice sounds too young, he sounds like the typical nerd that gets bullied by the jock in those cheesy high school films. If he sounded like an awkward young adult, I think this would be better. But that’s also a matter of opinion on what you personally think sounds like a young adult.  

 In fact, in when I was in 11th grade, I had math with a kid who looked like this so :/  

I know Viv said he's an adult  

But if it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck it's safe to say it’s a duck  

So, if it looks like a teenager and talks like a teenager....  

I understand both sides I honestly do  

he's an adult yes  

but in the most literal sense of the word “teenager” that’s still correct  

Basically, it's like in math class when the teacher asks you to answer a question like “what 2 plus 2” then you say 4 and they're like 4 what? 4 apples? 4 children? 4 missing body parts?  

Same thing different context  

It's like saying chips or French fries to someone from the USA or Britan. 

It's the same food but context matters 

Or saying pastry as a catch all for all desserts but the both are true but the context matters  

When you think pastry you think tarts, Danishes, or eclairs  

But  

If someone said dessert you'd think about cake, cookies, or pies  

Both are technically correct but when talking about a sweet dish but normally you'd just say one name for one and other for the rest  

Kinda like how beignets are donuts but no calls them donuts

I mean if you asked someone for a pastry like a snooty asshole and someone handed you a pie you would be very confused is all I'm saying

 

The reason it looks like Viv is trying to cover her ass and trying to using the “1000-year-old god” thing weebs use to undermined or justify Loli. She’s right he's an adult but also a teenager  

its giving square can be a rectangle, but rectangle will never be a square  

In my eyes at least  

Sorry if everyone already talked about and reached this conclusion, but I didn’t see any post about it and I wanted to give my very late opinion