#why am I literally incapable of making characters I actually care about I don’t get it
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*insert that one office meme* making ocs is so cool, I’d love to know literally anything about them some day :)
#vent that I will probably regret later incoming sorry!#feel free to ignore#aaahahaa I honestly need to stop looking at other ppls oc art because it literally just makes me mad!!#whyyyy the fuck is everyone else always better at making ocs then I am 😐 I’m tired of it#yes I may post nonstop ab loving Reggie but honestly. I am constantly sick with envy about other ppls ocs#it just feels like everyone else always has soooo many more cool ocs and they’re so much more developed#like they actually know what’s fucking going on and they’re actually interesting#and have cool ass designs that I could never come up with#and I’m sick of it!! I’m sick of it!!!! I just want that!!#why am I literally incapable of making characters I actually care about I don’t get it#every time I try to come up with an original story I get bored fucking instantly#it has helped a little but to stop worrying about stories so much and just make ocs that are fun to draw#but god I just want cool fun ocs!! more of them!!!! that I actually know shit about!!#like am I just lazy or is developing characters sooo hard#no matter how much I like a character in the beginning I always feel like everybody else’s ideas are a million times cooler#ugh#I’m fucking tired of it#like how am I supposed to fulfill my childhood dream of writing a novel if I never produce any original ideas that I’m able to stick to 😐#I’m just! so jealous!#ugh sorry for venting and being embarrassing I’m just in a weird mood tonight#probably will delete later
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SPOILERS FOR BATMAN 148!!
Am I a bad person for laughing when I heard that Jason got killed off again? No, here’s why and how I think he should die instead:
This is gonna be a long one so strap in folks. I have sort of been cherry picking this whole run just because the writing has been so wishy washy, so much so that it’s genuinely made me lose an interest in DC. Comics lately have been pulling the weirdest things just for shock value, because they can’t write a half decent story line or character anymore. Their characters will have some growth and then it immediately gets destroyed a couple of issues later.
I’m sure you’ve heard it before (because we all agree) but there’s no real consequences in comics anymore. Characters get killed off at the end of an issue just for them to be revived within a few issues or if we’re going with Batman 148, literally the next one. There’s no legitimate stakes because everything that happens gets “fixed.” Tim gets shot through the throat? Eh he’ll be fine, he can walk it off and be up and running within an issue or two. Bruce starts acting erratic/insane (again)? Oh don’t worry it’s not actually Bruce it’s his alternate personality Zur-En-Arrh. Which, side note, is the stupidest fucking name/concept I’ve seen in a while, truly baffling.
Honestly, the only part of the run that I’ve seen so far that’s even a little bit interesting is Bruce literally changing Jason’s brain chemistry so that whenever adrenaline hits he has a fear response so bad it shuts him down. Let’s start off with, hey Bruce what the fuck? If he’s had a machine that can legitimately rewire a person’s brain in that way to make him incapable of killing, why in the world would you not use it on the rogues? And yes, I understand that some of them either don’t react to fear, embrace it, don’t care etc etc but if you have the technology to change their brain whos to say you can’t make that machine do whatever you want? It doesn’t have to be specifically fear. Maybe force their motor neurons to not respond whenever they experience an adrenaline rush so they physically cannot move and kill their prey. Moralistically, it’s not the most correct, obviously, but that’s just an example of an extreme. There’s a lot more acceptable things it could be used for and Batman never does. Having that as a plot point makes no sense logically when applying it to Bruce in any way. Even though he’s been written as straight up brain dead these last few years based on his decisions, Bruce is a very smart man and could absolutely find both a morally correct and smart/safe option using the machine. It doesn’t even make sense for him to have it seeing as he would have used it already and cut down on about half of his Gotham related problems. “Oh, but red! That would mean that we’d have to get rid of the Joker because the machine would have taken care of him.” GOOD, I’m sick of his ass, there are so many better rogues to pick from as a new arch enemy. The Joker is bland, predictable, and I could not give less of a fuck about him, he’s not compelling in any way.
Secondly, as fucked up as it is it could actually (unfortunately, I don’t like giving them any credit nowadays) be an insanely good way to kill off Jason and make it stick. Or, at least I think they should make it stick because again, actions have consequences and comics need to go back to that. Anyways, to sum it up it would most likely send Jason into cardiac arrest. The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) controls both the adrenaline and fear responses the machine would be “regulating.” The SNS triggers the fight/flight response and sends epinephrine (adrenaline) throughout the body, elevating heart rate and blood pressure. As soon as higher levels of epinephrine are produced the machine will kick on the fear response to “suppress” this, but instead of shutting off the flow of epinephrine and/or producing acetylcholine to lower heart rate, when the fear response is kicked into motion even more epinephrine will flood the system. It becomes a never ending cycle fueling itself, never ending fear. Your heart working that hard and fast for such an extended period of time would absolutely give out on you.
Personally, I think that would be an insane wake up call to everyone but for this he would need to stay dead and to stay dead for a while. As in several years at least. As stated earlier, long term consequences do not exist in DC (or at least Batman) comics anymore, everything gets turned around with not great writing or retconned or generally not accepted as canon. But a death like this would mean something. It wouldn’t just be death for shock value, it would be Jason Todd, one of Batman’s alleged greatest mistakes being put down like a dog and Bruce having to live with it. How would Bruce’s morals shift and change because of his death? Would he reconsider how he deals with rogues, would he retire, would he leave? How would his children react and retaliate? How would the rogues react seeing Batman inadvertently cause the death of his child in his pursuit of Justice?
The effect of Jason’s death was extremely significant on many characters and their development the first time it occurred, would it be more or less so this time? So many routes to pursue, it’s a horrifying concept when you think about how it would actually affect Jason which is why they’re never going to do anything about it. If you’re going to use a character death as a plot point it has to actually mean something, not a mindless death that’ll be cured quickly and with an incredibly inane line of “I’ve had practice dying.” Wow, you’re so original. I’m pretty sure I read that in some b-rated fic by a 14 year old two years ago. Also, maybe stop acting like Jason is the only one who has died and that he’s the most special because of it? Outside of Tim (because he’s never legit died in canon, only offshoots) practically everyone else in the family has died at one point. His personality is not just his death. It’s irritating and it’s poor writing.
TLDR: I’m right, DC’s wrong and their writing is shit. If Jason dies it needs to have an actual literary purpose and it needs to stick for it to mean anything.
#jason todd dc#jason red hood#jason todd red hood#jason todd robin#jason todd#red hood comics#red hood dc#red hood#bruce wayne#bruce wayne batman#the batman#batman comics#batman#batman 148#failsafe
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Hi-Fi Rush
Developed/Published by: Tango Gameworks / Bethesda Released: 25/01/2023 Completed: 09/12/2023 Completion: Finished it!
I loved this.
I’m not quite sure why, but saying so feels very exposing. Maybe it’s because before playing Hi-Fi Rush I had no idea what it actually was, and the game’s bright anime-adjacent stylings somewhat had me discounting it out of hand, so I assume the extremely cool people who read this would be doing the same.
Maybe it’s also just that Hi-Fi Rush is… pretty straightforward? It’s not particularly trying to move the medium forward (although I think it does some clever stuff) it’s just trying to be very, very good at what it’s doing. And what it’s doing, actually, isn’t so much “anime” as “full on Sega blue skies” while being an incredible competent 3D action platformer/brawler with a likable (dare I say loveable) cast of heroic misfits telling a simple but effectively structured narrative with some very savvy music choices.
The thing is that… succeeding at something that hits that many beats isn’t actually… easy? Something I’m most struck by is actually those characters. By now we’ve all seen the nadir of Marvel-inspired quip-a-thons thanks to the likes of that Forsaken trailer, but even looking at something like, say, Guardians of the Galaxy, where they have something that (at least previously) had worked, it’s remarkable how flat it falls. Here, you have a goofy, act-first-think-later hero, Chai, the cleverer-than-him female leader, Peppermint, the funny robot, CNMN, etc. in a very simple “baddies are doing bad things, let’s get the different things we need to defeat them” story, but it completely pops because there’s been care to keep the story rolling naturally so you flow through it and grow into caring about them. I’m so insanely curmugeonly that I can’t believed to ride that line for me. But they did!
Now you could say, “ah, but the secret weapon here is that the game uses actual songs that you actually like! That always works!” But it doesn’t work if all the pieces don’t fit together. There’s no better example than one of the game’s latter levels that uses The Prodigy’s Invaders Must Die. It plays at a moment where narratively all hell is breaking loose. It feels like you’re in a climax of an action movie, not just because the music is playing, but because the story has taken you there. That the level design is clever enough to cool down, let the music pull back a little, and then kick it back in for a climax? Absolute chef kiss.
(It only really gets better from there, too. Ending strong is rarely something I think video games aspire to, but Hi Fi Rush is sensibly around the 10 hour mark and the last three levels or so rip. Did the appearance of The Joy Formidable on the soundtrack literally make me emotional? Yes. Yes it did.)
Now interestingly, I haven’t actually played any other Tango Gameworks titles so I don’t really know if I should have expected rock-solid play, but either way I was surprised by how well it does. What makes Hi Fi Rush genius, I think, is that it takes a type of game I am incapable of not button-mashing through and adds a rhythm action component that doesn’t expect but rather, uh… politely asks you to hit your combos on rhythm. And it works!
I can criticise it, somewhat, however They quickly add quite a lot of subtleties to the combat and don’t tutoralise them heavily enough–I didn’t understand how to use Chai’s “partner combos” until well over half-way through the game, and I don’t know if I ever got comfortable with parries because standing around waiting for enemies to attack seemed the antithesis of everything else I was doing. There end up being a lot of buttons and you have to internalise the order of your partners and switching between them rapidly in situations where there are like 3 different kinds of enemies at once meaning at times combat is just a total stramash. But even then, there’s always the beat to follow. It’s very clever.
Anyway. I loved this. It’s one of my favourite things I’ve played in years. Your mileage may vary!
Will I ever play it again? When it finished I wanted to play it more. That literally never happens. I sort of hope there’s a sequel, but the story of this is so pleasantly complete that I’m not sure if there should be one.
Final Thought: I may also be a bit of a sucker for this game because you’re always accompanied by a black cat. Inspired by the game director’s!
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On the topic of Cait stans downplaying her actions and defending her by using whack ass excuses like “grief” “nuance” “complex female character” and so on and so forth, something just occurred to me. With the recent wave of fans(on arcanwtwt anyway) who seem hellbent on refusing to critically engage with the show or its politics, it become clear to me that people who do that or, “it’s just a show warriors”, as I like to call them, are almost always Cait stans.
Their refusal to think deeply about the show or its themes prevents them from being able to meaningfully defend their fave. Now, do I think they should be defending Caitlyn? Absolutely not! Tryna downplay the actions of a character who gassed minorities, hit her partner, unlawfully arrested people, almost killed a child just to get to one person AND had a highly inappropriate relationship with her subordinate is ridiculous at best, and highly insensitive at worst if you believe that the way you consume media affects your real life politics. I am definitely a believer in that.
However! I am also someone who likes to argue! So! If you’re gonna sit up here and try to defend the indefensible, then actually try! Give me something to work with! Don’t talk about Caitlyn’s “micro expressions” after she literally hit Vi with the butt of her gun not 10 seconds beforehand! That’s one of the more ridiculous excuses for her actions I’ve seen! Her macro actions involve becoming an authoritarian dictator. You need to do better than “micro expressions” if you want to change my mind after she did all she did. Plus, that argument falls flat because you can literally see her curl her lips and hear the way she pronounced all the syllables in “animals” when referring to Zaunites. There’s no defending that, sorry!
In any case, if you want to defend her for real, you’ll have to interrogate the crooked system of Piltover and see Caitlyn as another victim of it. Caitlyn, by virtue of being not just a Piltie but also a Kiramman, has been heavily propagandized against Zaun. So much so that she doesn’t even realize it. She is not a kind person. Not to say that she isn’t capable of kindness ofc, but, she is not a kind person overall. She is literally incapable of being that, because of how she was raised. Caitlyn was raised to see people from the Undercity as criminals. She may think herself kind because she understands that there are “good people down there”, but that’s not good enough.
Unless and until she interrogates her subconscious biases towards Zaun, she will never be the kind person so many people in the fandom make her out to be. But, it’s not all her fault. It’s the entire culture of Piltover. They prime Pilties to view Zaunites as beneath them from birth; it’s part of the reason why Marcus acted the way he did. He literally lived in the slums of Piltover but still had the audacity to look down on Zaun. Why? Because of the way he was raised. His predjudice ran so deep that he thought he was better than them just by virtue of living in Piltover, despite the fact that the conditions he lived in were equal to that of many Zaunites.
So, I believe that Caitlyn has plenty of kindness and love in her heart buried deep within her. But because of the system of Piltover brainwashing her to believe Zaunites are beneath her, as well as her privilege as a result of being a Kiramman, she won’t unlock her true potential until she confronts her biases. Until then, she will do what all privileged people do when they experience a fraction of what the oppressed have: lash out and cling to oppressive power structures. Rush to put all those people “back into their place”. If the circumstances were different, Caitlyn would be the kind, caring, well meaning but incredibly naive goofball she was meant to be.
At least, that’s the defense I’d use if I were a Cait stan. But I’m not. So fuck her and her “grief” lmaoo🤣🤣🤣
#arcane caitlyn#caitlyn arcane#caitlyn defender#if you’re gonna defend the indefensible come harder!!!#y’all can do better than that!!!#that’s the one and only defense y’all should use tho#shut all that other shit UP!!!#it was WEAK
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found this in my drafts and i can’t remember what my point was here or if i was gonna add anything else to this. but i agree with everything i wrote so i’m just releasing it into the wild as-is
tangentially related to the first paragraph of this post only: the fact that there are little hints of a traumatic backstory for jack that make it possible to read him somewhat sympathetically (somewhat. he’s still a huge asshole lol) while there isn’t any canonical evidence of anything sympathetic abt izzy in s1 unless u personally rlly relate to being a mean manager or to handling getting friendzoned very badly is actually one of the main reasons why i am always wildly surprised when ppl say jack and izzy are equally shitty characters (don’t even get me started on when ppl think jack is somehow worse. insane take). other reasons are basically variations of “we see other characters enjoy jack’s presence at some point, something that literally nobody in s1 does with izzy.” like the big one is ed obviously, ed clearly likes jack and likes having fun with jack (at least in small doses lol) which is something we never see with izzy, in fact every time it looks like ed is having too much fun in izzy’s presence izzy tries very hard to make that stop. but also the crew think jack’s cool at first, which is a sentiment we never see literally any of them have about izzy. like jack is a piece of shit but he at least has the ability to be fun, something that s1 izzy is physically incapable of and is in fact something that i think the show is aware of. ofmd is very Pro Fun and supports getting silly, obviously the narrative also shows us that jack’s brand of fun runs sour when there isn’t respect for each other and no room to be vulnerable. but the characters in ofmd talk abt torturing ppl and getting tortured themselves as fun activities they enjoy doing and the show is not like “this is a bad thing” so i seriously doubt the show was trying to say “jumping off tall heights is a bad thing” or “blowing up random inanimate object is a bad thing” or “drinking and partying is a bad thing,” imo the show was saying “when the environment does not allow for people to pass on these activities without shame and mockery, that’s a bad thing.” and also “be careful with the things people care about. like their birds. take risks with your own life or with the lives of british ppl ur holding hostage if u want but for the love of god don’t put ppl’s birds at risk.”
but back to the sympathy thing. like we get absolutely nothing abt izzy’s backstory aside from “worked for ed for years,” and then little characterization details like “regularly pulls fang’s beard, which fang hates” and “seems to be really exhausted and easily frustrated by ed,” and then his two motivations throughout the season are the textual “wants stede to be dead so ed will retire and then izzy gets to be the guy in charge (until the end of e9 when he realizes he’s not good enough to be in charge so he needs ed to keep being scary blackbeard so he gets to keep that proximity to power)” and the more subtextual “has the hots for ed,” and the first one is not sympathetic bc “guy who who craves power and is a dick about it” is a pretty universally hated type of guy, and the second one is not sympathetic bc if izzy did All That in s1 bc he’s in unrequited “love” for ed then that’s some fatal attraction incel bullshit TeeBeeEych. all of this makes izzy a great character and an insane little freak to rotate in my mind palace on occasion but it does not make me sympathetic to him in the slightest. and then the only other ways to read izzy sympathetically in s1 are to 1. make up a bunch of bullshit (example: izzy and ed are actually literally married and are in their divorce era and ed is leaving izzy for a new man, which actually just reads like more fatal attraction shit to me but anyway) or to 2. take izzy at his word that he’s the only one keeping this operation together and everyone else needs to stop goofing off and being silly and take this shit seriously (which is actively reading against the text bc ofmd as a show is vehemently opposed to the idea that ppl need to stop being silly and take work seriously, which is a stance i don’t actually 100% agree with irl but like i’m not gonna get mad at a tv show for not having the same exact life philosophies as me)
(also i’m not just saying izzy is unsympathetic in s1 bc i personally dislike him, i truly believe the writers thought so too and i say this bc of how they went about redeeming izzy in s2. bc by mid s2 the narrative is pretty clear that izzy is A Fully Changed Man now and the rest of what he does in the season is just a bunch of stuff to directly contrast with the shitty stuff he did last season. zero character development actually happens past like episode 4 or 5. and we never actually got an arc abt why izzy suddenly grew as a person bc they didn’t have the time or they didn’t care enough abt izzy to make the time for it. what we got instead was putting izzy in the narrative torment nexus. instead of getting an actual redemption arc abt learning that what he did was wrong, and instead of building on literally any of the character traits or backstory details izzy might’ve had in s1, the writers just put izzy through physical hell to make us feel bad for him now bc there was nothing from s1 they could spin sympathetically. it’s honestly kinda weak writing and i remember thinking this when game of thrones did the same thing to that one guy theon or whoever. however unlike game of thrones i think it’s funny that ofmd speedran an izzy redemption arc. the did it bc he was just not important enough to prioritize that much screentime to and i respect it)
calico jack sympathy is a very rich vein for emotional ed whump btw. not saying anyone needs to sympathize with jack at all bc he DOES suck and personally idc enough abt jack to sympathize with him for his own sake, but there is actually textual support for a sympathetic cj read. canonically he has the same traumatic pirate background as ed and the two of them went through a rlly rough time together. we have direct support from the show that jack’s rejection of anything “soft” or “weak” comes from hornigold—the very first mention of hornigold in the entire show is when jack sees the breakfast table set for ed and stede and starts teasing ed for it with “just the two of you? hornigold would shit himself.” plus ed tells stede “jack’s always been emotional” and “he can come on a bit strong but he’s insecure” which strongly implies that ed has seen a side of jack that we don’t get to see in the one episode where he shows up. it’s a side that very well might be completely gone now that jack’s a grown adult man but to me it runs counter to the text to claim that ed’s assessment of jack is completely wrong and this vulnerable side of jack never existed in the first place.
so anyway one possible angle here for sympathizing with jack as a vessel for whumping poor ed’s heart is the tragedy of two kids going through something awful together and not being able to count on each other during the whole experience. being trapped in a physically and emotionally abusive environment together and empathizing when the captain singles one of them out bc they know firsthand what it feels like to be on the receiving end of hornigold’s ire, but at the same time they’re not able to ask each other for support bc what if they use that vulnerability, that plea for comfort, as a weapon against you? what if you try to offer them support and comfort and they push you away? what if, when you DO rely on each other for support, your captain sees that bond and uses it to torture you both even further?
and what do you do if you both comfort each other, you both take care of each other, and then one of you fucking dies? because that’s how it goes—most of the pirates ed knows are dead, a pirate’s life is short but nice, the only retirement they get is death, you’re not likely to avoid near-death experiences in their line of work, heading towards a raid with the one hope being that a certain death ain’t slow. and it’s not just raids, either: your captain might have you keelhauled for a minor offense, might starve you for a week if you laugh at him during a speech, might feed you a live crab for nicking some rations, or maybe a disagreement with another crew member could turn into bloodshed. maybe someone will push you overboard for shits and giggles. what do you if you’ve found comfort with a crewmate, and then that crewmate dies? how do you cope? you’re probably better off not letting yourself care for anyone, rejecting people’s pleas for support or intimacy or friendship, because it’ll hurt less when they inevitably end up dying horrifically just like everyone else you’ve ever cared about.
and then the other big ed whump angle here is watching someone you experienced horrific trauma with not only fail to process the trauma in a healthy way but also become a worse person as a result of it. like ed knowing firsthand just how awful everything jack experienced was and remembering exactly what it looked like every time hornigold beat the spirit out of jack when he was ultimately just a vulnerable kid. ed hearing jack say some toxic macho bullshit and knowing exactly where jack learned that and how much it hurt for 20-something-year-old jack to absorb that lesson—and more than that, ed remembering when he used to believe that exact sort of toxic shit. and ed feeling like he can’t hold it against jack if he doesn’t grow bc he sees so many similarities between him and jack, and the only reason he was able to heal and become a better person is bc he met stede—and it’s not like stede was the only person in the whole world ed could’ve connected with, he had an entire ship full of kindhearted doofuses ready to offer him emotional support and he betrayed all of them because the recent back-to-back backstabbing compounded on a lifetime of trauma and made it impossible for ed to trust them. how can ed blame jack for rejecting opportunities to heal when ed did the same thing? when he can remember watching firsthand as years of abuse caused jack to gradually close himself off, the worst part of it being that it was like watching his own reflection as he also hardened under the pressure of just trying to survive another fucking day? how can ed judge jack, when jack is who he might’ve been if he’d never met stede?
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I kno all this ship talk is getting annoying but i just wanted to make a post explaining why the way alloros treat aro characters bugs me specifically. And then I’ll shut up, maybe
I want to make it clear that i do not care if a couple assholes online write fanfic where aro character kisses ppl or is in romantic relationships. Y’all are right, some fanfics here and headcanons there don’t matter. I’ve been in fandoms where small groups of fans got mad that a character was a lesbian and started blogs just to post about how actually she was 100% straight. That’s still bad and I’m not here excusing those ppls homophobia, but it was also like a small drop in the bucket compared to how much fan content existed portraying her as a lesbian and canon enforcing it as well. At the end of the day it didn’t change her identity.
And i haven’t seen this as much but i have seen some ppl declare Todd bojackhorseman (one of the most prominent asexual characters) to actually be allosexual bc they hate ace ppl or something. I also honestly don’t give a shit about that. Not only do most people know that Todd is canonically ace, he has multiple plot lines in the show about being ace. Saying he’s not is just factually untrue.
But when a character doesn’t have those plotlines, when they never say asexual or aromantic, when all the in canon confirmation we have is “it’s just not my thing” or “I’d rather have a dog than children” or “I’m not x identity I’m nothing” or even just an external tweet from the creative team confirming it, it’s a lot easier to erase their identity. Fuck, I’ve seen a character say “i am incapable of feeling romantic attraction, i never have and i never will” and ppl still not only deny that they’re aro, it’s not even questioned that they’re alloromantic. Every time i post offhandedly about peridot from Steven universe being canonically aroace, i still have aspec ppl every time comment about how they never knew she was canonically aro bc the entire fandom continues to deny and erase her canon identity.
Ppl say “uhhh one fanfic isn’t gonna change a characters canon identity sweaty :)” “one persons headcanons don’t negate canon :))))” but when Everyone does that it does erase their identity! When nobody acknowledges it then a bunch of aspec ppl don’t even know they’re being represented! Fandoms will take scraps of tweets or one line references to enforce and prove their ship or head canon is actually canon, but when writers say “this character has never been in love” or “this character cares deeply about others but would never dream of dating or marrying anyone” then it’s “uwu but that doesn’t prove anything! U don’t have to be a heartless aro to not be a fan of dating uwu”
When the only confirmation we have is a line or two and everyone wants to steamroll over that bc their ship is more important to the point where PEOPLE LITERALLY DONT EVEN KNOW THAT CHARACTER IS SUPPOSED TO BE AROMANTIC then i have a problem! That is erasure! You are taking away our representation! You literally are doing that! And not to get into speculation but if a bunch of creators see that people fucking hate when a character is canonically aspec, they might not want to give us rep if the whole fandom turns and says “fuck you for doing that, you’re ruining my experience” i’ve seen at least one creator say “I’m not gonna confirm this characters identity because it will piss people off” when that character was previously known to be aromantic. So thanks for that i guess. I’m glad at least that there was backlash to ppl erasing yelenas identity, enough backlash to get aromantic to #2 trending which i have never seen before. At least now people are aware of her identity, at least aspec people know that she shares our identity, and when it inevitably gets erased in the MCU, at least we’ll know to be pissed about it. But for many others, ppl just don’t know, because everyone chooses knowingly or unknowingly to cut that characters identity away from them, bc idk they think someone being aspec is boring or smthn
My final conclusion i suppose is just, if a aspec representation falls in the forest and nobody ever acknowledges it, does it benefit the people it’s representing
#void screams#aro#aromantic#ace#asexual#yelena belova#mcu#hawkeye#marvel#steven universe#peridot#peridot su#shipping#anti shipping#pro shipping#whatever#i just hate shipping#todd chavez#bojack horseman#long post
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I like Bakuguo but his attitude is starting to really piss me off. He's talking about Daku as if he's just ~crazy~ and as if he isn't partly to blame for Deku's toxic self-worth issues. It's infuriating to watch. If Bakuguo doesn’t admit out loud and in front of his friends that his bullying of Deku played a part in Deku's current destructive state and if he doesn’t verbally apologize and reaffirm Deku's worth then I can no longer like Bakuguo's character or Hori's writing.
tbh I don't really know why this is the discourse of choice for people all of a sudden, but this is already the second ask I've gotten about it, so I might as well address it lol.
I think fandom is conflating fanon!Deku and canon!Deku here again. fanon Deku is of course much more sensitive and woobified and has much shakier self-esteem. fanon Deku is the one that turns evil in so many AUs because of Kacchan's bullying. fanon Deku is the one that actually jumps off the roof in so many fics, as opposed to fishing his notebook back out of the pond a few minutes later grumbling about how Kacchan needs to think before he speaks or else he could land himself in serious shit one day if god forbid anyone actually does take his cruel words to heart.
and just to clarify before I get any further, I am not saying this to excuse Kacchan's actions in any way, because what he did was still completely terrible and unacceptable and WAY over the line, and what's more he knew it, too. the bullying was still shitty and horrible and awful, and definitely impacted Deku and made him miserable. I fully acknowledge that, and that Kacchan has a lot of atoning to do for it. this is not a "Kacchan did nothing wrong" post.
but that being said, I don't think canon Deku's reckless self-sacrificing nature actually has anything to do with the bullying. I think they're two completely separate things. canon Deku actually has pretty decent self-esteem in spite of everything Kacchan did to him. canon Deku doesn't think he is useless. canon Deku had a wholeass fight with Kacchan less than 10 chapters into the series in which he explicitly spelled it out for Kacchan that he had a lot of worth, and was going to prove it to him. canon Deku was persistent in wanting to become a hero and hoping and believing that he could find some way in spite of being quirkless. canon Deku never let go of that dream even when no one else supported it. I don't think he would have even given up on it after being told no by All Might, tbh -- we just never got to see how it would have played out because of everything that happened with the sludge monster shortly afterward. but he's not the type to ever give up on something that easily, and we've seen that. canon Deku never thought he was useless, but rather wanted to prove to everyone else that he wasn't.
the drive that Deku has to save and protect others even at the expense of his own safety is something entirely separate from that. he doesn't break his body for others simply because he has no self-esteem and thinks that his own life isn't important. he does it because he can't stand the thought of someone else getting hurt, and knowing that he could have done something to prevent it. it's as simple as that. like, Spider-Man has the whole "with great power comes great responsibility" thing, right? and he doesn't have low self-esteem; he simply believes that if he has the ability to help someone else, then he has a responsibility to help them. it's a personal creed. and Deku is based on Spider-Man. his philosophy is based on that philosophy, which was one of Horikoshi's core influences and is one of the core creeds in superhero fiction.
Deku is self-destructive not because he doesn't value himself, but because he is literally physically incapable of standing back and doing nothing if he knows that he can do something. he's the type of person who sees a car speeding towards someone and leaps in to push them out of the way. NOT because he wants to get himself fucking pancaked by a speeding car, but simply because he can't sit back and watch the other person get hurt without taking action. his body moves before he can think. and that's where the whole "doesn't take himself into account" thing comes in -- the fact that his thought process simply stops at "get them out of the way of the car", and never extends beyond that to "hey, and maybe I should try to find a way to do this that doesn't involve me getting hit in their place." to him, that's simply less important than the first priority, which is getting the other person out of the way.
and regarding that last part, while that may seem like a self-worth issue if he's prioritizing everyone else above himself, I think what it actually is just selflessness taken to extremes. like for instance, when a parent sacrifices themselves to save their child, them placing the child's life above their own isn't necessarily because they don't see themselves as having value. rather, it's that they love the child so much that they place their well-being even above their own. and that's what Deku is like as well. except that in his case he cares about EVERYONE, and so is willing to sacrifice himself for anyone. and that selflessness is his defining character trait, and simultaneously the most admirable and the most terrifying thing about him. it's both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness, which I think is fascinating to explore.
but anyway, so that's also why we never really see anyone thoroughly chewing him out for this behavior either. because the thing is, it is admirable how selfless he is. it's just that there's also a reason why most people are at least a little bit selfish. and that's because too much selflessness will ultimately and inevitably wind up getting you killed. at some point you either have to learn when to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, or else find yourself a loyal group of friends (or classmates) to watch your back, and make sure that mask gets on you when you need it. and maybe help you land the plane too while they're at it.
anyway so that was a lot of rambling, but basically it all boils down to three things:
when Deku berates himself for being useless (for instance at the end of the War arc), he's doing it out of frustration for not being able to push the others out of the way of the metaphorical car. that's the kind of uselessness he can't stand. the sitting-back-and-doing-nothing uselessness.
Kacchan's bullying was terrible, and it might have indeed played a part in Deku's choice of the word "useless" as a way of berating himself in these instances, but he is not the one who gave Deku this mindset of taking himself out of the equation. that's something that was already inherent to Deku from day one. (but that said, Kacchan has a lot of things to apologize to Deku for anyway, so if he wants to add this to the list I certainly won't stop him. he gets mad about Deku's suicidal attitude because it worries him, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't feel responsible for it. people underestimated his feelings of atonement before 284/285, and I think they're still underestimating him now.)
and lastly, one last important note, which is that Deku's current "saving" mindset isn't wrong, just as Kacchan's "winning" mindset was not wrong either. the lesson to be learned here is NOT that being selfless and wanting to save other people is bad. rather, it's the fact that he's trying to do it alone that's got him all fucked up right now. basically when you think about it, selflessness is really just selfishness on someone else's behalf. which means that in order for Deku to be saved, it isn't necessary for him to change his outlook or his selfless attitude, even if it is pretty crazy lol. rather, all he really needs is a good group of friends who are willing to act selfishly on his behalf in return. protecting each other through mutual selflessness lol. teamwork as self-preservation. hence why the U.A. kids are here now.
anyway so yeah, I think that's everything. sorry this got so long and out of control lol. this is just a very specific nuanced thing that's hard for me to express, but which I feel is very important when it comes to Deku's character. Kacchan didn't unleash Depressed Nomad Deku on the world (or at least not in this respect). but that being said, he and the others will hopefully be the ones to nudge him back on the right course again.
#bnha 319#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#bnha meta#deku meta#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha#asks#anon asks#long post
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aggressive affection, i think
(part two here!)
[ @yourlocalsinnamonroll (hi!) sent me an ask to do more gen z headcanons and i started working on something for her, except it isn’t actually a set of headcanons, but rather a really long...one-shot? but anyway, i thought of actual headcanons that i can share now, so i can return to my ROOTS hopefully this will do in the meantime. ]
i’m not sure if this is something unique to younger people, but i am one hundred percent sure that younger people do it a lot, just going off of the behavior of my friends and i. (i’m gonna tell you now that this isn’t entirely sfw, so minors dni please and thank u)
but i’ve found that it’s pretty common for friends to be, like, aggressively affectionate with one another, for lack of a better phrase. if not aggressively affectionate, then just really flirtatious, often for no reason, and it is still meant entirely in a platonic sense. some examples of this that i have experienced include, but are not limited to:
“i’m gonna eat you,” “do u wanna make out,” “just remember, no matter WHAT happens, i will ALWAYS wanna make out with you,” “i have literally wanted to fuck all of you at some point,” “let’s have sex,” “stfu before i kiss you,” [points to lap] “is this seat taken?” “every day i’m like, ‘wow, [name] is so cool, we should make out,’” and so on and so forth.
so you can imagine the fun i’m about to have.
lucifer
“blindsided,” does not even begin to describe what you’ve done to this man. while his recovery time was quick, he was still so, so confused.
all he said was, “you look nice today,” why did you threaten to kiss him? was that even a threat?
he doesn’t know because you said, “stop before you get kissed on the mouth,” but it doesn’t matter because you failed to consider that he is obsessed with you in dire need of a kiss on the mouth, and you, silly thing that you are, just provided conditions under which he can get one.
that said, have fun trying to explain to this man that you were joking while he’s holding you against him with the most smug look on his dumb little face. if you don’t wanna kiss him, okay, but by the time he feels like letting you go, your face is gonna be scorching and you will have properly learned not to do that again. unless you enjoyed yourself, in which case—
by the way, if you believe in a higher power, you had better pray he doesn’t do this to you because now that you’ve planted the idea in his villainous little brain, he’s just biding his time. so the next time you compliment him innocently, and he says, “be quiet before i kiss you,” like the monster he is, assert your dominance by kissing him first, it’s the only way to maintain your dignity.
mammon
why would you do that to him. he is literally in love with you, you can’t be doing this. he knows he’s an attractive person, but you can’t tell him that, and you especially can’t do it by flirting with him, it’s embarrassingly disarming. especially since he was going to make fun of you once he saw that you were looking at the issue of majolish with him on the cover. he had a plan and everything, and you ruined it. he was gonna say something dumb cool, after which you would be embarrassed , and he would laugh.
but then you looked at him, said, “i’m gonna eat you,” and his entire plan was thwarted. now you have to stand there and watch him struggle to form a sentence while his face gets red. you should take this opportunity to bite him, give him a little nom on the shoulder or something, just to razz him. it’ll be great, i promise.
luckily, he can’t even think about doing this to you without having to lie down, so you should be safe—unless, of course, he catches both you and himself by surprise. so if you get nommed on, you had it coming.
levi
you menace. you absolute villain. you’re laughing.
levi was about to go into a match he was nervous about, and then you said, “it’s okay, no matter what happens, i will always wanna make out with you,” and then he dropped his controller and blacked out, and you’re laughing.
you’re terrible. absolutely awful. acquaint yourself with shame while you blow cool air into his face and shake him awake.
when he does wake up, and he reminds you that he’s the avatar of envy, do nawt be surprised.
try to explain to him that you were kidding and let it slip that you say these types of things to everyone and you’re getting a tail around your waist. no matter how much he might stutter while he makes his point, the fact remains that he’s the only one you’re allowed to say these things to now. you can do it to the others while he’s not around if you feel so inclined, but he’s going to find out eventually, so good luck explaining yourself while he doesn’t keep his tail still when he uses it to hold you in place.
your only saving grace here is that he is physically incapable of doing it to you, but, you know. that probably gets overridden by how possessive he’s gonna get.
satan
you’re deranged. or just really confident. or a fool. it doesn’t matter, you fucked up. he said a normal thing, and then you threw him for a loop.
you were nervous about an exam the next day, he said, “you’re a capable person, you have nothing to be worried about.”
and then you, evidently forgetting that he is not one of your human friends, said, “flattery will get you made out with,” and tried to walk away.
first of all, how was that flattery? he was stating a fact. second of all, who said he didn’t wanna make out with you🤨. he never said that, you are making assumptions about him and his character.
anyway, he has no idea where you think you’re going, but you didn’t make it very far before he caught up to you anyway.
when he repeats what you said back to you in the form of a question, with that deceptively polite look on his face, know that he is being rhetorical. do not bother trying to explain yourself, it’ll be difficult to do so in a convincing manner while he’s backing you up to the nearest wall. do not be surprised when he takes this opportunity to blindside you with praise, directly into your ear, with that fatally smooth voice of his. and do NAWT be surprised when he pulls back and says, “why am i not being made out with?” with a dumb little smile. it brings him a lot of joy to see you squirm.
you don’t even have a saving grace here. this man is ruthless, he’s gonna do this to you literally whenever he wants, and he won’t even let you look away, let alone run away, so find joy in the monster you have created.
asmo
listen. unless you are genuinely empty headed, there is absolutely no way you did this on accident.
he wasn’t even doing anything out of character either, it was the middle of self-care night, he was putting moisturizer on your face for you, and he went, “you’re even cuter up close,” which is a normal, tame thing for him to say.
so unless you just have uncontrollable knee-jerk reactions, no way did you say, “so make out with me then,” to this man, by accident.
you’re lucky he has some knowledge of the fact that you sometimes say things that aren’t smart, so he didn’t just immediately jump on you; however, you are by no means in the Clear.
you blinked and he was nose to nose with you and basically in your lap. now you have to deal with his wandering hands while you try and explain yourself—that is, if you can even overcome how flustered you are, which you probably can’t. luckily, he knows you probably didn’t mean it, but he’s still asmo, so he takes it upon himself to be respectfully heinous like the gentleman he is.
so when he somehow manages to get even closer to you and says, “honey, you should really get a handle on those impulses of yours, unless you plan on following through,” like the bastard he is, know that from that point forward, whatever happens is on you.
here is another man with whom you have no saving grace; now that you’ve given him the idea that he can be more explicit with you,,, well.
beel
you’re a heathen. why would you do something like this. well, you know what, maybe you aren’t that much of a heathen, considering that you did bake cookies for him. that was really sweet of you, so he thanked you and complimented your skill, like a regular person.
so why, exactly, did you say, “i only accept thanks in the form of kisses, preferably with tongue,” ? something is genuinely not right with you.
now you have this man standing there, confused and red in the face. he’s trying to do the math, and nothing is adding up. like, it’s definitely doable, he can definitely do that, but, like, why would you make this request so suddenly?
this is probably the only instance in which you can coherently say, “i was kidding, you don’t actually have to do that,” and it almost doesn’t work.
you absolutely should not have been leaning against the counter because now he’s standing in front of you, and you have nowhere to run.
however, the thing about beel is that he is someone who flusters people without meaning to, so he has no idea of the effect that his, “are you sure?” has on you.
luckily, you’re still mostly coherent because you know that beel isn’t heinous like his brothers, so you manage to tell him that he doesn’t have to kiss you if he doesn’t want to because you were kidding.
you have every right to be surprised when, all of a sudden, you’re sitting on the counter, and he says, “why do you think i don’t want to?”
do you have a saving grace with this man? kind of. he would never say what you said or something similar, but the next time he compliments you and you choose to be normal and say, “thank you,” he’s gonna ask if he should kiss you, so try not to collapse.
belphie
now. he isn’t the Worst Person you could’ve done this with. but by god you are out of your mind.
your first mistake was choosing to lie down next to him, not because you had plans to be a menace, but because he is always a menace and has a thing for reminding you, which he can do more easily when you’re in proximity to him.
so when he said, out of nowhere, “are you ticklish?” you should’ve just rolled away, which wouldn’t have worked, but it would have been less chaotic then saying, “you are legally required to make out with me before you try and find out.”
you said it so casually that he was almost stunned into staying still, but his recovery time was excellent.
the next thing you knew, you were laying underneath a very smug, very menacing man, who seemed entirely too prepared to listen to what you had to say for once.
“legally?”
okay, so, maybe you should’ve chosen your words more carefully, but he was seconds away from tickling you, so you didn’t exactly have time to defend yourself. you can never backtrack with belphie anyway, so it makes sense that you went headlong into your claim, telling him that yes, this is, in fact, the law of the land.
“i was never one to pay attention to the law, but since you’re being so insistent, i guess i don’t really have a choice—”
leave it to him to pretend like you’re a burden as if he isn’t literally head over heels in love with you like everyone else fond of you. bastard.
there is absolutely nothing to save you from this man. he isn’t tactful enough to wait for an opportunity to do this to you, like satan or lucifer, so expect to be Just Sitting There when he tells you that you’re required to make out with him right this instant—it’s the law.
#obey me!#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me imagines#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me levi#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmo#obey me asmodeus#obey me beel#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphie#obey me belphegor
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The Extra (part four)
Warning - smut (you've been waiting long enough, dontcha think?)
Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton
"No! No, no, no, no, no!" Your eyes were glaring at Anto that Friday morning. If looks could kill he'd have keeled over on the spot. It was your last day of filming, you were waiting for the script for your dramatic death scene at the hands of Billy Kimber. The script you'd just been handed was not what you were expecting.
"Y/n, it's a key scene, it's twenty seconds of your life!"
"I am not filming a sex scene with Cillian Murphy!!" You were so angry you may actually have growled at him.
"The script can't be rewritten this late on!"
"Funny how you didn't mention this when you persuaded me to take the job on."
"Because I knew you'd say no."
"Because you knew I'd say no!!! I was a stage actress Anto, we didn't exactly do this in the theatre! I've never done one of these before and I certainly don't want to do one with him!"
"Billy Kimber needs to attack when Tommy is at his most vulnerable. The only character who can make him vulnerable is Clara. She seduces him, they have sex in the Garrison, Billy Kimber's men ambush you and slice your throat, it's literally a few minutes and it's over. That's it - you're done!"
"It was 20 seconds earlier."
"The sex is 20 seconds."
"Ouch." Cillian entered Anto's office trailer at the wrong moment. "20 seconds? Jesus."
"Okay we're not filming the whole thing obviously.."
"We're not filming any of it!" You spat.
"Anto can we not rework it? Does it have to be sex? Y/n is clearly uncomfortable, it's her first TV role? Surely a kiss would do the job?"
"Tommy needs to be completely distracted - sex is his only weakness Cillian, you know that." Cillian couldn't argue with Anto on that one.
"Y/n, how about we go over it together in private first? Just you and me, we can work it out?" Cillian's hand on your shoulder calmed you down, but you were still seething with Anto.
"Fine." You gave Anto another death stare and followed Cillian to his car. "Where are we going?"
"For a drive - I'm concerned for Anto's safety if you stay on set!" He pulled out his keys and unlocked the car. You climbed into the passenger seat and let out a huge sigh.
"You know, if it's me you're worried about don't be? I've done a fair few of these now, they don't bother me?" He said as he pulled out of the car park.
"It's not that, it's just.. I'm embarrassed. I've only - " you stopped speaking, suddenly feeling extremely stupid.
"Go on?"
"It's stupid... Promise me you won't tell anyone?"
"You have my word."
"Okay... I've only had sex with one person, my ex. We were together for 5 years.. he wasn't exactly - " you couldn't even find the words.
"He was shit in bed?" Blunt much?
"Worse. Literally 10 minutes if you're lucky and lights out."
"You're kidding? Ten minutes? I've had quickies that lasted longer than that, Jesus... There's no way you even came from that, surely? Wait don't answer that, shit, that was a bit personal, sorry.."
"No it's okay - I'm about to film a scene where you're fucking me across a bar table, I think personal questions are okay don't you?"
"It's against the bar itself actually." You had to laugh - missionary was the most exciting position you'd ever tried - Mike wasn't exactly adventurous.
"So you're up for filming it then?" He asked.
"What choice do I have? But I warn you, I'll be shit. I don't know what to do."
"Few moans, pants, groans, orgasm, job done." You swore your core clenched at his words and your thighs squeezed together involuntarily.
"Wouldn't be the first time I've faked an orgasm I guess."
"You've had a real one, right?"
"Orgasm? Cill I'm 29, not 16!"
"So you know the noises to make. How about we head back to my trailer and we rehearse it a few times until you're comfortable?"
"What if one of my students hears me?"
"Then we go back to my hotel room and rehearse there?"
"What?" He laughed, shaking his head.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to actually fuck you in my hotel room y/n."
"Ugh.. fine... But you can't tell anyone?"
"I swear it."
You sat on Cillian's sofa in his huge hotel room, the view was incredible from the window.
"I'm aware this is awkward for you so I suggest we just go straight into it, okay?" He pulled you up and turned you around, walking you over to the kitchen counter. He placed your hands against the flat surface. His fingers moved between your thighs to part them slightly and you lost control of your knees, stumbling slightly.
"Steady now, haven't got to the good part yet," he chuckled, standing behind you and holding your hips. You bit your lips, you could feel yourself throbbing as his fingers gripped your jeans.
"I'm not going to actually make contact, don't worry, I'm just going to do the motions. Use your imagination, and work with me. Make the noises, she's close to orgasm so she's quite loud but there's no pressure to scream the roof off the place in here. Are you ready?"
"Fuck, this really feels awkward Cillian..."
"Close your eyes and think back to the best orgasm you've ever had. How much you enjoyed it.. how good it felt..now re-enact it." His hands gripped your waist and he began to pull you gently back and forth, softly at first to get you into the right mindset. He was patient, not pushing too hard and not getting the slightest bit annoyed that you were silent as a rock.
"This is ridiculous, I can't do it!"
"Fuck it, why not." He took a deep breath behind you, and started to rock your hips back and forth again. His breaths came shorter, louder, a gentle moan, the occasional "yeah..." You echoed his voice almost exactly, not difficult considering how turned on you were listening to him behind you.
"I know Tommy's fairly silent in the scene, but would it help if I did the noises with you? Just while we're rehearsing?"
It wouldn't help my fucking underwear, you thought.
"Mm... That's it, that's it..." You knew he was just saying the lines, he was Tommy, but fuck his voice sounded good. You tried to remember a decent orgasm, and gave a deep but quiet groan.
"That was the most unconvincing 'orgasm' I think I've ever heard... I know you can do better than that."
"What?"
He turned you gently around to face him.
"Viewers can tell if a sex scene isn't working y/n - you need to give it more realism than that."
"I'm fucking trying Cillian, it isn't exactly easy when you've got the sexual experience of a Nun.."
"You need to get into the right frame of mind y/n, there must have been a time in your life when you've been so turned on and so desperate for release that the slightest touch would send you over the edge?" He edged a little closer to you, you could feel your heartbeat quicken as you clutched the kitchen side.
"Maybe.."
"When even just the sound of someone's voice was enough to make your core burn, your knees buckle, your legs shake?" You were ALL of those things right now. He inched ever closer.
"Or maybe you've got to that stage and not quite finished the job?" His eyebrow raised again, was he enjoying making you squirm?
"You needed to get off, but your boyfriend was incapable and your fingers just weren't enough..." His hand on your waist, his eyes on yours.
"Maybe..." You were desperate. You'd never felt so turned on in your life and right now you didn't care who knew it but you needed to cum and quickly.
"You sure you want me to do this?" He asked and you nodded.
"Need some help turning that 'maybe' into a 'yes'?"
You bit your lip and nodded, exhilarated and terrified of what that look in his eyes meant. His fingers traced the inside of your thighs again, making you shudder. You didn't even notice him unclasp your jeans and edge them down to your thighs.
"There's no going back from this, I need your words."
"Have you done this before?" He chuckled at your question.
"Made a woman cum? A few times yeah. Made a costar cum? Not directly," he winked, as his hand skimmed the waistband of your underwear. Parting your legs further with his knee, he pushed through.
"You're so fucking wet y/n..." He groaned, feeling the slick pool that had gathered between your folds. Sliding as much as he could up, he found your clit easily and circled it lightly. You gripped his arm, gasping for breath as the heat rose quickly within your abdomen.
"You feel so warm.. wet.. hot.. making a dirty little mess on my fingers.." his forehead remained pressed to yours, both of you panting, your hips starting to gyrate against his hand.
"So good Cillian... So so good... Don't stop please..."
"I won't, fuck you sound amazing, let me hear you..." He put more pressure on your clit, circling faster, he knew time was running out, you'd be needed on set soon.
"That's it, ride my hand.. you have no idea how much I want you, how much I've wanted you since the second I saw you... You gonna cum for me baby?" His Irish brogue was edging you ever closer, your orgasm so close you could almost taste it.
"Harder, I need it harder... Faster... Oh fuck please..." He happily complied, his fingers working you perfectly, his other hand exploring your breasts, squeezing and pulling at your nipple under the fabric of your blouse. Your back arched as the most powerful orgasm you'd ever had exploded through you, chanting his name as you rode through it, gripping his arm.
"That's it... That's my girl..." His fingers slower, before he removed them completely and licked his fingers tasting you with a groan. You hadn't realised your hand was on his hard length, palming him through his jeans but you didn't pull it away. His eyes on your hand, watching you explore him. You palmed him harder, feeling the shaft throb through the material. Just before you could release his belt, his phone rang in his back pocket.
"That'll be Anto wondering where we are..." He whispered, stopping your hands.
"Fuck..."
"I know, believe me I know... We film this scene, it's the last one, and you and I can catch up again tonight. What do you say?"
"It's a date Mr Murphy."
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hi, sorry, I've been kind of having problems. i dont think people are capable of loving me, and I think everyone its going to leave me alone at the end of the day. so, can I request a scenario for izuku, kirishima and denki meeting the reader that happens to feel like this? it's okay if you don't want to do it
have a nice day ♡
Them Finding Out Their S/o/Crush Thinks People Are Incapable of Loving Them || Midoriya, Kirishima, and Kaminari
Masterlist 1 || Masterlist 2
↠Author’s Note: I’m struggling with this as well so I sort of based it a little bit off of my own feelings/habits since they’re probably fairly similar to yours but apologies if they’re not. Also ik you requested scenarios but I felt that headcanons would be a bit easier for me to write, and also I did it more them finding out their s/o/crush feels that way than them just meeting them, so I hope that’s fine! If not I can redo these. But I hope you like these! I’m sorry you feel that way :( But people do care about you and love you! -Danielle <3
↠Characters: Izuku Midoriya, Eijiro Kirishima, and Denki Kaminari x Reader
↠Summary: Them finding out that their s/o/crush thinks that people are incapable of loving them and that everybody is going to leave them eventually
↠Genre: Comfort/fluff
↠Word Count: 1.2k
↠Warnings: Reader thinks that nobody loves them and that everybody’s going to leave them
↠Notes: None
Izuku Midoriya:
When you two first started hanging out and becoming friends, he took notice to how you always were kind of distant, like you were trying not to get attached to him or anything, and that kind of hurt his feelings
Why were you so distant? Did you not want to be his friend? He thought that for a while and he was venting to Uraraka about it and she was like “if they didn’t want to be your friend they would make excuses not to hang out with you, and ignore your texts, but they don’t, right?” and then he realized that it might be something deeper than just you not wanting to be his friend
Eventually, he worked up the courage to confess his feelings for you, and he wasn’t sure what to expect, but it definitely wasn’t what happened
He expected maybe a “oh, sorry I see you as a brother” or “I don’t really like you that way, sorry” or something just as heartbreaking as a response to his, “I think I love you!” that he blurted out after stuttering
But what he didn’t expect was a plain and simple, “No you don’t”
Like, what? How are you going to go around saying what he feels? Plus, did you just accuse him of lying? He wasn’t a liar!
“Y/n, what do you mean, ‘no you don’t’? Because, yes, I do. Why do you think I’m lying?”
And after you explained your reasoning, that people were incapable of loving you and that everybody would just end up leaving you at the end of the day, Izuku was very shocked and he didn’t bother hiding it
How could you feel that way about yourself? You were so amazing and fun and you were such a good friend! Why wouldn’t somebody be able to love you? Because Izuku sure did and he definitely had no intentions of leaving, not now, and he wasn’t sure that he ever would
He wasn’t sure where it came from, but when you said that, he got this sudden burst of confidence, he put away his shy, stuttering self to reassure you that he loved you very much, and that he was never going to leave you
“That’s not true, Y/n! You’re so amazing, and so pretty/handsome, and you’re literally one of my best friends! It’s definitely not impossible to love you, because I do! And if I ever even think about abandoning you then go ahead and take away my quirk because I don’t deserve it if I would do something like that to someone as perfect as you!”
If you’re anything like me, then you’re definitely not going to believe him the first time he says this, or the second, or even the third, but he’s going to continue to say it and do actions to prove it until you believe that he loves you and is never going to leave you
Eijiro Kirishima:
He didn’t really interpret you being a little distant as you not wanting to be friends with him, at least not at first, he just figured you were a little nervous or shy (and maybe you are) but after you didn’t really begin to warm up to him, he did get a little insecure, and start to think that maybe you just didn’t like him
But he didn’t want to stop talking to you if that wasn’t the truth and if you actually wanted to keep being his friend, so he confronted you about it one day
You two ended up in the kitchen together at like 12 am, you had both been getting a snack and he decided to confront you while you were waiting for your food to cook in the microwave
“Hey, Y/n, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything, but is there a reason you’re distant with me? If you don’t want to be my friend or I’m making you uncomfortable then just let me know! I’ll leave you alone or whatever.”
And then after you replied that you knew he didn’t really like you (as a friend or romantically) and that you knew he was just going to end up leaving you, and that you didn’t want to get your feelings hurt again, his first response was simply, “What?”
He meant as in like, he didn’t feel that way at all, why would you think that? But you took it as, you were right and everything you said was true, so then you went on a whole rant about how it was fine and you weren’t mad at him or anything and you didn’t hate him for it
Mans had to force himself not to run over to you and give you the biggest hug he could possibly give because he didn’t want to make you uncomfy, but at the same time he just wanted to hug you and cuddle you for hours
So, he settled for interrupting you halfway through
“No, no, no! Shut up! I don’t think that, I love you! Why do you think nobody loves you or that they can’t? And I’m definitely not going to leave you! Who told you that? Because I have a few things to say to them.” And when you didn’t reply, he spoke again, “Can I give you a hug?”
And after a small nod, you were immediately in the red head’s arms, your body being squished between his arms, as he hugged you as tight as he possibly could without squishing your insides and accidentally killing you
Denki Kaminari:
Also took you being kinda distant as you being shy, but eventually he came to the conclusion that he was making you uncomfy or you just didn’t like him
So, he apologized to you one day after class, “Hey! I realized I was making you uncomfortable and I’m really sorry about that! Or maybe you just don’t want to be my friend, and that’s fine too! I’ll just be on my way, thanks for putting up with me!”
But after you replied with that you did like him, and think he was cool, you just knew that he was faking it, and that he was going to end up leaving, he was like “Huh?”
Did you really think he was that much of a jerk? Like sure, he flirts with a lot of people, but you were different! He paid way more attention to you than anybody else, and you were his first choice out of everybody, did he really give off that vibe that he didn’t really like you?
“What!? No! That’s not true. I mean, I know I flirt with a lot of people, but I really like you, I’m sorry if I came off as if I didn’t.”
And then when you continued to insist that he didn’t like you, he was starting to get a little more pissed off. Why didn’t you believe him!? He really liked you, why couldn’t you see that!
Anyway, then he went on a whole rant about how great you were and how much he liked you and all of that, and how he was going to work super hard to make sure that you knew what he was saying was the truth
#izuku midoriya x reader#izuku x reader#izuku midoriya#midoriya x reader#midoriya comfort#eijiro kirishima x reader#eijiro x reader#kirishima x reader#eijiro kirishima#kirishima comfort#eijiro comfort#denki kaminari x reader#denki x reader#denki kaminari#kaminari x reader#kaminari comfort#denki comfort#mha#bnha#bnha x reader#mha x reader#mha headcanons#bnha headcanons#headcanons#headcanon post#mha comfort#bnha comfort
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hq!! boys with a short s/o
navi | masterlist | taglist
thanks to anon for this cute request
characters: kenma, noya, bokuto, & oikawa
trigger warning: swearing, sexual references,
kenma kuzome
♡ bc you’re smol you can slip into his lap while he plays on his switch and since he can just peer over your shoulder, he lets you
♡ also bc you are so - in his own words - compact..he kinda goes a bit rough on you bc he doesn’t know his own strength sometimes
♡ like he comes back from practise - having just bet up lev who’s like double his height, then pretends as though he’s the gentlest, most cuddly guy alive
♡ for instance, if you sit on his lap while he’s doing something important, he’ll push you off but bc he is quite strong and you’re quite small, you literally go flying across the room
♡ he also like the fact that he can place his chin on top of your head while hunched over
♡ bc his posture is horrible which means that most ppl are up to his nose when he’s standing comfortably (and by comfortably i mean when his back is lookin like the letter c)
♡ but not you though bb
♡ he can rest his chin on your head WHILE messing up his back so thanks 💞
♡ also this is kinda unrelated but he probably enjoys seeing you cosplay as some of his favourite characters that are around your height
♡ idk he just seems like that sorta guy lol
♡ probably likes it when y’all get dirty in cosplay too yk
♡ and he constantly compares you to anime characters/ video game characters then makes comments accordingly lol
♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥
upon feeling kenma’s eyes momentarily shift from his nintendo switch onto you, your immediate response was to meet his gaze, shooting him a brief smile which quickly fell into frown upon hearing his following statement, “you’re around the same height as meliodas from seven deadly sins.”
you blinked rapidly, about to shrug him off and go back to whatever you were doing under you heard a “disgusting.” slip from his lips..so pounced on him.
“KENMA! YOU CAN’T JUST CALL ME DISGUSTING BECAUSE I’M A SIMILAR HEIGHT TO AN ANIME CHARACTER YOU DON’T LIKE! DON’T YOU HAVE AN--” to which kenma will just laugh and pretend like he’s trying to pry you off him when he’s actually really enjoying the feeling of you on top of him.
yū nishinoya
♡ he is the short king™
♡ so he’s honestly so happy that not only does he get to be in the presence of his soulmate, but you’re also shorter than him 😍
♡ and i think having a shorter s/o would really help him with his body image
♡ sorry to get serious on y’all so quick but i kinda think noya is secretly VERY insecure
♡ he just has a ‘fake it till you make it’ sort of attitude in regards to his confidence
♡ but having a shorter s/o - especially if you’re really powerful, strong, confident or outspoken - would really give him an ego boost bc not only is he like ‘yep! that’s my star!’ but also everything you do is just so impressive to him
♡ also since you’re around the same height as him, sometimes he forgets that he can’t just jump on you and expect for you to hold his weight like he does with asahi, tanaka, tsukishima etc
♡ so now you’re always on hyperalert when you pick him up from practise just in case he tackles you to the ground again
♡ it’s happened multiple times even when you were paying close attention though so i’d suggest just wearing a helmet next itme
♡ YJUHGFF he’s definitely the sort of guy to hype you up to his friends after you do the bare minimum
♡ and he ALWAYS mentions your height unless you tell him to stop
♡ (he just wants his friends to know that just bc they are vertically gifted, they are no better than you or him >:(( keep em humble, yk? )
♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥
“yep! they’re getting their photo taken at this professional modelling company thingy with all those cool, chunky camera and the bright lights! they’re basically a model- and a few inches smaller than me so, perhaps short is the new sexy.” noya boasted with a casual shrug, feeding off of the amazing looks he was getting from hinata, tanaka and yamaguchi.
upon noticing that yamaguchi was falling for nishinoya’s exaggerations, tsukishima chimed in, “short is definitely not the new sexy.” and before nishinoya could retort, tsukki hummed, “anyway, model, huh? what brand are they modelling for?”
noya’s lips curled into a bright smile and he clicked his tongue, almost to say ‘glad you asked’, before declaring proudly, “their passport!”
kōtarō bokuto
♡ another one that doesn’t know his own strength
♡ especially around you
♡ like he squeezes you SO tight when hugging that you basically suffocate
♡ and his grip on your hand is always unreasonably strong too so never let him hold your dominant hand or else you won’t be able to hold a pencil for another week
♡ and sometimes he pinches your cheek when he thinks you look especially babey and jesus christ he could leave a bruise
♡ god forbid you’re watching him practise and he makes a killer spike then he turns to look at you with starry eyes--
♡ ...
♡ RUN 🏃♂️💨
♡ mans will chase you around the whole gym to pick you up and twirl you to celebrate his spike
♡ the problem occurs when he holds you so close to him that you suffocate from his reek of BO
♡ he spins so fast that it makes you feel extremely sick and dizzy
♡ ALSO let’s not forget that one time he accidently let go of you a few seconds to early and you went fucking flying across the gym and landed on onaga’s water bottle
♡ not only did you have to awkwardly hobble to the bathroom with soaking wet leggings so you could change into your spare pair, you also felt obliged to buy onaga a new water bottle
♡ if you tell him to be gentler plz do it nicely or else he will be sad :((
♡ yeah he treats you like you’re his 7″0, ripped, basketball player s/o but you’re not
♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥
why were you here? why did you think this was a good idea to say yes to? oh, yeah, it because he gave those adorable damn puppy eyes that you are physically incapable of saying no to. on the bright side, perhaps he can use those puppy eyes to get you a free hearse driver for your funeral - which was sure to be soon.
through, your funeral planning was cut sort by bokuto chirping, “are you ready, babe?!”
you sighed, arms outstretched as he stood with his back facing you, ready to trust fall onto you once you gave the ‘ok’. or so you thought.
“yeah, bo. go o--” you couldn’t even finish your sentence before you felt bokuto’s muscular back suddenly weigh down on your arm. you tried to hold him up, - you really did - but both the surprise of it and his weight was enough to make you come crashing down with him.
“(y/n)! you had one job!”
tōru oikawa
♡ you’re his baby
♡ or at least, he treats you like one sometimes
♡ he says he treats you like a prince(ss) but everyone knows that he acts like you’re his first born child
♡ bc he literally carries you everywhere
♡ taking a brisk stroll on the beach? oikawa will force you to get on his back and use the excuse that he doesn’t want your clothes to get dirty
♡ you’re in the mall and you even suggest that your feet are sore/ you’re tired? he’ll carry you bridal style anywhere you want to go - literally does not care if people are giving him weird looks
♡ drunk? he’ll throw you over his shoulder and carry you home
♡ just chilling on the couch? he’ll approach you, scoop you up into his arms and walk around the house
♡ it annoys you sometimes but it can really come in handy other times
♡ like for instance, at a festival
♡ if you both get stuck at the back and you’re struggling to see the stage bc of all the literal giants looming in front of you, he’ll let you hop on his shoulders 🥺
♡ he probably teases you for it though lol
♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥
“awh, can the small one not see the stage?”
you furrowed your brows, outstretching your arms to him - probably the first time you ever actually asked him to pick you up, so you prayed that he'd take you up on your first offer without you having to beg. “yeah, can you help?”
this oikawa you’re talking to; the petty king. so instead, he gave you some solemn advice before turning his attention back onto the performance, “try growing a few inches-- who am i kidding? a few feet.”
“rude.” you spat, fretfully looking around for a moment before coming to terms with the fact you’re not going to be able to see the performer, so you decided to just try vibe with the music instead.
“(y/n).” you heard oikawa call from beside you, so you turn your head to look at him then noticed that he was crouched on the ground, “what are you waiting for? get on.”
#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader#kenma x y/n#bokuto x you#oikawa toru x reader#nishinoya headcanons#kenma fluff#kenma x reader#bokuto x reader#oikawa x reader#oikawa imagine#oikawa x you#oikawa scenarios#nishinoya x y/n#nishinoya scenarios#nishinoya imagine#oikawa fluff#bokuto fluff#bokuto x y/n#bokuto hcs#kenma hcs
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if you'd be so inclined my dear, what are your thoughts on how Tomura's character has developed over the series' timeline? -☼
So, I think Horikoshi did an excellent job at character development- especially considering that he's a villain (not the focal point of the series) and he really didn't have to do that. He easily could have kept Tomura an impudent little man-child, but he didn't, and I truly appreciate that.
So, in season one, we get his debut as USJ, and it became quickly apparent that he was... disorganized. Intelligent and dangerous, clearly, but not quite there yet. He essentially threw money at a pack of sell-sword villains, had a basic plan for how he wanted things to go, and relied on his Nomu to do the majority of his work for him. He didn't even consider variables and other things he couldn't have foreseen- he took Master at his word and just went for it.
He makes a multitude of mistakes during this attack, and it's part of why he fails so hard. Underestimates the kids simply because they're young, not factoring in that these are to be the nations top heroes. Even young, each one is sporting a power that puts them at the top of the class and above the rest of the nation. He basically goes "Fuck it, just scatter them and have these no-name villains kill them. No way that could go wrong." not considering that these children have been learning from the best of the best and are clearly already intelligent of their own accord.
He doesn't take into account that these heroes actually care for these kids and that feeling responsible for them works in their favor as opposed to being a detriment. They fight harder and take more abuse to keep them protected (Aizawa getting absolutely demolished but still persisting to defend the children even as he bleeds to death with a broken body.)
The intel wasn't wrong, per se, but he took it at face value, not even bothering to consider that All Might would push far past his limit to keep these kids safe. For someone as obsessed with felling All Might, he certainly didn't really know a thing about him. His genuine goodness and character would not allow him to fail when their lives were on the line. And then there's the matter of Midoriya, and while Tomura had no way of knowing that he's inherited All Might's power, he should have been able to account for wild cards like that from valiant children dedicated to heroism.
More under the cut because I’m just rambling.
I think this defeat humbles him. For most of his life, things have gone his way because of who is backing him and because he is extremely dangerous with a powerful quirk- this teaches him that raw strength and basic strategy won't be enough.
He watches Stain take the country by storm, and he can't understand it. Doesn't get what the big deal is- he believes he and Stain are mostly cut from the same cloth because of their penchant for violence and murdering heroes, totally blind to the convictions behind Stain's actions. He's incapable of thinking outside of his own view points, and it cripples him. These are his first few steps outside of his own comfort zone and where he begins to grow.
He's forced to consider not what he wants, but why. He resists this every step of the way, but ultimately realizes that paying off little bastard villains to work in his name isn't enough. He needs players under his command that will fight for more than money- and sell swords are loyal to nothing but that. He needs to find a conviction (even as he ends up stealing the mask of one and using it as a facade at first) that others can relate to and be passionate about.
So he does.
He steals Stain's ideology for his own and uses it to recruit some of his top members- even if he is a right little bastard about it at first. While he throws a tizzy fit because they aren't "perfect" (his standards are very high despite the fact that he's arguably not a very effective leader) but eventually ends up utilizing them regardless.
It's around here that he starts sharpening his instincts and learns what it is to be a true leader. He learns he cannot casually throw around his pawns because ultimately, he cannot win this war by himself. 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend' and while he isn't as enchanted with Stain's entire gimmick as his comrades are, he still wields it effectively.
He's still learning, however, as we learn when he takes Bakugo. Had he gone to the effort to get to know a single thing about him, he would have learned very quickly that trying to recruit him would come up completely pointless. He just saw untamed anger and unrestrained violence bordering on unhinged and thought "Ah yes, he's powerful and very much like me- he'll do nicely" and put together a whole plan to kidnap him. I think the vanguard's success in capturing him shows Tomura just how useful it is to have clever little birds under your command, and that sticks with him.
Losing his Master, like AFO says, forces him to become his own man. He loses the cushy abode he'd had for most of his life, loses many of the benefits afforded to him by being AFO's protege. He and his ragtag team of villains live in squalor, almost entirely destitute, and are forced to survive- but they stay loyal, and that means something to him. I think it’s around here where he actually begins to care about them.
We see how he reacts to Magne’s death. I don’t think for one second he aided in destroying Overhaul simply because he was a threat. If that was the case, he would have stopped once he was arrested. He risks everything to get vengeance. Cuts his limbs off and renders him completely helpless as payment for what he did to Compress and to avenge Magne’s wrongful death.
Over the course of everything, he’s become more patient, more cunning, more dangerous. He’s learning quickly from his mistakes, how to command his ranks in a respectful, effective way, and how to keep them safe. He learns their strengths and weaknesses, and while he’s still a bit thorny, it’s very apparent he does care for them. He’s on his own now, and knows he needs greater power, greater numbers to achieve his goals. He is ruthlessly ambitious, willing to endure ungodly amounts of pain to meet his ends.
So now we have this season (which I haven’t actually watched, as I’m just waiting for disappointment because I fucking know Bones won’t do him justice) and he’s seeking out both Gigantomachia, a former ally, and the PLF. Both things that could be of great value to him. His leadership skills and ability to command will be put to the test, but so will his endurance, his willpower, and everything else. This is the beginning of him as a truly devastating threat.
He’s growing into the villain I think he deserves to be. He’s facing down the very bones that comprise him and learning why he is the way he is. What his convictions really are and how far he’s willing to go to achieve his goals. HIs past, his life as he knows it, what needs to be done to put a pretty little ribbon on everything. He is, in a way, shedding like a snake- ridding himself of weaknesses, growing into his strengths, and evolving into a more capable predator.
If you ask me, realistically, I think Shigaraki would actually win. When it’s all said and done, I think his arc is far more compelling than any of the heroes or their children. I think he has more drive, more wit, more raw power and more reasons to keep fighting. A lot of the kids, while cute and the main characters, are quite hollow. But over the course of all these seasons, we get to watch Tomura’s metamorphosis and his evolution into a purer, undiluted evil. He transforms into something truly sinister- a literal manifestation of all of the flaws and pitfalls of society and hero culture as it exists. He is undeniable proof of the toxicity and that the way things are cannot be allowed to stand, and the fact that so many people resonate with him and follow him loyally should be the ultimate clue-in.
I think if the heroes weren’t blinded, they would look at Shigaraki and his league and consider it. Wonder if, just for a moment, there was something there that they should pay attention to. A cry that they should hear rather than be willing deaf to. But they don’t.
Gran Torino is a prime example of this. So are all the other so called ‘heroes’. Calling him evil. Underestimating him. Considering him someone who just woke up one day and decided ‘I don’t like this so I’m going to kill a lot of people’. You’d think that they’d recognize that a drive like his does not come from nothing. If they sat down, shut the fuck up and listened for ten seconds, maybe they wouldn’t be dying by the dozens.
I’m not saying that they should allow him to continue to trample the world and kill at will. But what I am saying is that part of how they’re fighting him and how they’re viewing this in terms of black and white and good versus evil is exactly the fucking problem, and it’s that kind of bullshit that birthed the villain we know as Tomura Shigaraki to begin with.
#Shigaraki#Tomura Shigaraki#just my thoughts on it#Thank you for the question anon!#Morgana and friends
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#5: The One With Astruc's Self-Insert
In my introductory post, I said the main inspiration for this blog was @hypocrisyofandrewdobson. For those who don't know, Andrew Dobson is an infamous webcomic artist known for drawing webcomics that tend to demonize people he's come across in public or people who disagree with him online (either critical of his art or his political views), while portraying himself as the victim or wise man calling them out on their differing beliefs.
If you want to learn more about this guy who I consider to be far worse than Astruc, check out the blog in question. And no, I don't know why he draws himself as a blue bear.
Why am I talking about this? It's one thing for some schmuck on the internet to use his work to respond to criticism, but the creator of a popular animated series dedicating an entire episode to attacking his critics and trying to get others to feel bad for him is another story.
The second episode of Miraculous Ladybug's third season, “Animaestro” served as a wake-up call for fans (myself included) to make them realize how immature Astruc could be. The plot centers around the premiere of a movie about Ladybug and Cat Noir directed by Thomas Astruc, who voices himself in the original French dub.
And this isn't just a brief cameo like what Stan Lee did in the MCU. Astruc is the Akumatized person this episode, so there's naturally a lot of focus on him. Throughout the first half of the episode, Astruc portrays himself as this timid man who nobody recognizes or respects, like this idiot who doesn't know what animation is.
Doorman: This is a private event, sir.
Astruc: Huh? Excuse me? I'm Thomas Astruc, the movie director.
Doorman: You filmed Cat Noir and Ladybug? What are they like in real life?
Astruc: Er, it's an animated movie. It's all cartoon characters. We don't actually film anyone. See, there's this whole team that draw the chara—
Doorman: Whatever. Who would want to see Ladybug and Cat Noir as cartoon characters?
Get it? Wasn't that meta joke hilarious? This is how much I was laughing:
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And Astruc continues to get about as much respect as Rodney Dangerfield when he interacts with other characters like Jagged Stone and Chloe.
Jagged Stone: Ladybug is one of my best buds! I can't wait to see her movie!
Astruc: Well I—I'm the director, so actually it's more my movie, so to speak.
Jagged Stone: Oh, so you're the one who created the story?
Astruc: Well, technically the screen writers wrote the story, inspired by Ladybug's exploits.
Jagged Stone: Oh, okay. So you did all the drawings?
Thomas: No, no. The animators do all the drawings.
Jagged Stone: So what do you do then?
(Later on...)
Chloe: So you're the one responsible for this movie?
Astruc: Yes, yes! Exactly! That's me!
Chloe: Then you were the one who left Queen Bee out of the trailer. You're lame, utterly lame.
I can't believe Astruc had a scene where he interacted with Chloe and didn't insult her at all.
The episode is determined to make the audience feel bad for Astruc. Nobody respects him and what he does. Isn't that saaaaaad? Nobody cares about animated film directors like Walt Disney or Tex Avery anyway. Not even these stupid children understand how hard Astruc works.
Several Children: Ladybug! Where's Ladybug?
Astruc: Hey there, kids!
Teacher: Ladybug isn't here children. We came here to meet the director of the movie. Children: (frowning in disappointment) Aww.
(Astruc looks visibly disappointed.)
Way to insult your primary demographic, Astruc. I thought you said kids have a better understanding of these stories when people criticized the writing of a certain episode (It's that scene in “Puppeteer 2” if you're curious/don't value your sanity).
It's almost like you're using that as an excuse to half-ass your work while still getting to claim this show is so groundbreaking.
In case you can't tell, “Animaestro” is one of those episodes. The ones where the showrunners decide to dedicate an entire episode to attacking critics of the show in a blunt fashion. Whenever a show addresses criticism, they either create an obvious strawman character to parrot the opinions of fans who don't like their work, or have someone defend the show and insult the critics directly.
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The problem isn't that they're ignoring criticism. It's their show, and they aren't obligated to listen to critics or fans who don't like the direction the show is taking. On the other hand, they aren't obligated to fight back like this and treat their audience like crap. Any show that does something like the three clips I showed you usually comes off as petty and immature because they dedicate so much time to insulting the critics.
Even during the Akuma fight, Astruc has to call out Ladybug for having problems with his movie in-universe, obviously representing critics of the show Astruc claims have no right to criticize the show while it's still airing.
Ladybug: What's with that trailer too? I am not scared of cats, at all.
Astruc/Animaestro: You haven't even seen the movie and you're already slamming it?
Cat Noir: He does have a point, you know.
Ladybug: I wasn't slamming it. It's called constructive criticism!
Yeah, how dare Ladybug be angry that this movie is portraying her as a powerless coward dependent on Cat Noir as opposed to a confident and brave superhero. She just doesn't understand the genius of Thomas Astruc!
And of course the character Astruc claims is “perfect” is the one to take his side.
And that's another problem with this episode, the metatextual references. Before he gets akumatized, Astuc says he spent three years of his life working on his movie. I get that time in this show is weird (we somehow had episodes taking place on the first day of school, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and the first day of Summer), but how did Astruc's self-insert work on a movie based on a superhero who has only been active for a year? Meta-wise, it's an obvious reference to the scorn Astruc has gotten from fans after working so hard on his show, but the only people who would get that reference are the ones who are aware of Astruc's reputation online.
Self-Insert aside, I actually think the titular Animaestro is one of the more visually impressive Akumas featured on the show. Animaestro takes on several forms based off several different forms and eras of animation, like flash, anime, rubber hose, and they all stand out. Granted, some of them are obvious parodies of other characters like Goku or Sailor Moon, but the actual Akuma fight is fun to watch. According to the Mexican Miraculous Ladybug Twitter account, this episode took two and a half years to create, and it shows. It's too bad the story behind it is completely insufferable, almost like the cartoon equidistant to Pixels.
But then comes the part that honestly makes the episode worth it, mainly for how unintentionally hilarious it is. Do you want to know what Animaestro's weakness is? Do you really want to know?
Animaestro is physically incapable of moving unless someone is watching him. I am not making this up.
Ladybug and Cat Noir literally defeat Animaestro by getting everyone to stop paying attention to him.
I could make so many jokes with this, but I can guarantee you're already thinking of something just as good, if not better, than whatever I write.
And there's the end where Astruc gives Marinette his ticket to the movie, which prompts Marinette to kiss up to him for no real reason.
Astruc: Sorry, I guess you don't know who I am either.
Marinette: Of course do. You're Thomas Astruc, the movie director!
Astruc: She recognized me. Somebody actually recognized me!
Nothing happened to make her change her opinion on the Ladybug movie, she didn't really say anything to him earlier in the episode that connects to this exchange, and outside of a few lines Animaestro said, she doesn't even know why he got akumatized (even though ironically she and Chloe accidentally contributed to it because of the awful subplot involving Kagami I talked about last time). If anything, it comes off less like she actually appreciates Astruc's work, and more like she's stroking his ego just to keep him from getting akumatized again.
So yeah, this episode is awful, and the fact that it came out right after the controversial “Chameleon” only proved to show what kind of direction the show was taking this season.
But honestly, even if Astruc still wanted to make about how he doesn't get enough respect the episode could have potentially. All he had to do was make a simple change: Instead of making it about validation for Astruc as a creator, make it about validation for animation in general.
It's a common misconception that animation is only used for shows and movies aimed at children, so the episode could reflect it. Instead of the huge turnout where several celebrities appear at the premiere, instead, the turnout could be a lot smaller, with the media dismissing it as some stupid kiddie flick. Instead of getting akumatized because he gets humiliated in public/getting no respect from anyone else, Astruc gets akumatized because he sees the audience didn't go wild for the movie after the premiere. All he can hear them say is that it's just “kids stuff”.
So when Astruc is Animaestro, he goes on about how important animation is. How it's helped produce propaganda since World War II. How it helped improve special effects in big blockbusters. How the medium is used to create movies that simply can't be filmed on a physical set.
After defeating Animaestro, Ladybug shows up to talk to him. She had seen the movie earlier, and actually enjoyed it. She had a few problems with the story, but they were just minor nitpicks and inaccuracies Astruc wouldn't know about, and she was blown away by the animation. She tells Astruc not to be deterred by his critics, and continue to do what he does. As a designer in her civilian life, Ladybug knows the joy creating brings her, and both she and Astruc want to spread that joy through their work.
Back at the premiere, Astruc thinks about what Ladybug said to him when he sees some kids reenacting a scene from the movie. Astruc walks over to them and asks what they thought of the movie. They said they loved it and how energetic it was. When he tells them he is the director, the kids' faces light up and they say they want to do what he does when they grow up, bringing a smile to Astruc's face.
Isn't that a much more humble approach instead of what we got? It would have helped Astruc come across as more sympathetic, especially with animation fans. But instead, we got an entire episode of Astruc whining about how misunderstood he is.
And you know the footage used for the movie at the beginning? Remember that, because I have a huge rant about it saved for a later post.
For now, here’s an example of a creator appearing in his work done right.
youtube
#immaturity of thomas astruc#thomas astruc#thomas astruc salt#miraculous ladybug#miraculous ladybug salt#animaestro#marinette dupain cheng#ladybug#adrien agreste#cat noir#chat noir#jagged stone#chloe bourgeois#queen bee#queen b#star trek: the next generation#the simpsons#harley quinn#teen titans go#thundercats roar#thundercats#spider-man#stan lee
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sometimes i see people talk about discourse on their dashes that i haven’t actually seen on my dash and i am SOOO profoundly grateful. maybe it’s just bc i’m old but the fact that there is “destroy the impala” discourse is THE DUMBEST FUCKING THING i have ever heard in my LIFE and i have witnessed some SERIOUSLY rank takes since signing up for this bullshit in 2010. this website is incapable of critical thought and it’s driving me bonkers so i’m making a post listing all the reasons that’s fucking stupid
so like: dean loves the car the same giddy and possessive way he loves his bedroom - because she’s HIS and something he’s allowed to have, and because she’s safe, and because she’s always been there for him, to the point of LITERALLY holding him up when lucifer-in-sam was beating him to death. it doesn’t have jack shit to do with john winchester. it doesn’t even have to be about him valuing the car as part of his childhood or his childhood home. the car is metaphorically a physical and spiritual extension of dean himself - caring so much about her and lovingly maintaining her is the closest dean ever got to self-love and self-care in canon
furthermore, saying u have to destroy the impala just because it has any correlation at all whatsoever with john is like. the exact problem i have with every john fic ever written (which is why i’m having to write my own). there’s absolutely no nuance in that take. that’s the opposite of nuance. that black-and-white thinking is literally sooo unhealthy like y’all might need therapy? dean’s always gonna love his dad no matter what his dad did and no matter whether YOU think that’s healthy or not. sometimes our parents are shitty people and we love them anyway because they’re our parents?? that’s how unconditional love works. dean is full of unconditional love. that’s part of what makes him dean.
i don’t think dean would EVER totally cut john out of his life, but the POINT of doing that to an abuser is STOP THE ABUSE. but john IS already out of dean’s life and the abuse HAS stopped (even if the effects linger) because john is already fucking dead - dean can’t cut him out anymore than that without shredding himself to pieces! is he supposed to stop liking classic rock? is he supposed to give up hunting and drinking and heart attack food and sarcasm? pool and poker and making food and fixing cars? is he supposed to say that he no longer cares about family, especially sam, because sam is john’s kid and john’s charge that dean had to care for during his abusive childhood? we’re all informed by who our parents were and how they raised (or didn’t raise) us. asking dean to get rid of the parts of him that were or still are john’s handiwork is asking him to become an entirely new person, someone utterly unrecognizable as dean. it’s much more healthy to want him to find peace in self-acceptance than it is to teach him to despise what came from john just BECAUSE it came from john.
sure, fine, your sober salad-eating openly gay pta dad who doesn’t hunt and drives a minivan and likes dogs seems like a healthy and well-adjusted guy, but he doesn’t seem interesting, and he certainly doesn’t seem like dean winchester. in 14.13 dean even canonically talks about what his life might be like if john hadn’t been abusive - he seems to believe that he’d be so different as to be unrecognizable, but he also seems to find that idea horrifying. it’s a bad episode, but a good speech; it’s the closest we ever see him get to casting off his self-loathing and accepting and even valuing who he is instead.
in real life, pressuring people to cut out their abusive parents just because you think you know best and they’ve been brainwashed into loving bad people is actually super sketchy. real people who aren’t fictional characters get to decide on what terms they interact with their abusers, even if it’s not terms other people are comfortable with. the abused person is the only one with the right to decide and their opinion matters more than everyone else’s combined. it is possible to become so obsessed with saving someone that you destroy them (dean does exactly that to sam in season 9, and even season 9, which is a bad season, condemns this as WILDLY unhealthy behavior. again i say: y’all need therapy.)
wanting john to suffer for what he did is understandable, but it’s never worth it if dean gets caught in the crossfire. “destroy the car” feels like it’s more about hating john and getting back at him for his abuse than it is about caring about dean and wanting him to heal. killing the car would be way more upsetting for dean than it would be for john - john didn’t even value the car that much.
like, if the car is dean and dean is the car we can meta this up a little and say that OUR desire to have dean destroy it as a way of cutting john out of his life even when john is ALREADY DEAD is pushy and creepy, and betrays a willingness to see dean destroy himself if it means becoming someone we find sanitized and palatable, by getting everything connected to john out of the picture, because hating john is more important than loving dean.
even when dean gets angry at john, he doesn’t and will never hate his father, or want to hurt him or see him be hurt. hurting john IS hurting dean by proxy, because dean loves him, even if that’s unhealthy, or inconvenient for you. so who do you want to kill that car for, really? if it’s not dean, it must be yourself.
[spn masterpost]
#liz's spn stuff#liz's meta#liz watches spn#abuse w#long post#wow sorry that LITERALLY made me see red that's SO stupid#let him have things!#let him love who he is!#wow. we are INCAPABLE of critical thought on this website#i wrote this at 2am instead of working on my fanfic even though i had a horrible headache#i will reblog it again tomorrow probably
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Here’s an analysis of the “Tommy’s Plan To Kill Dream” stream (part 1)
I noticed that my “overly long” analysis always tend to be about extremely depressing streams, so here’s me trying to change that and failing miserably because I can find angst literally everywhere!
As usual I’ll be talking about the characters only unless stated otherwise from here on out.
The whole thing is under the cut because, as the name of this “series” suggest, I’m phisycally incapable of keeping things short
Before we proceed with the analysis we need a quick overview of Tommy’s relationship with the people he interacts with this stream so that we can all start with the same mindset:
Tommy & Tubbo: They have obviously been very close friends since the beginning but recently Tommy has developed a sort of dependence on Tubbo which really isn’t healthy. This of course is a direct result of his second exile and his mindset moving forward after that. While with Dream and then Techno Tommy was extremely isolated and made to depend entirely on the one person providing for him. He continued this even after Doomsday, this time developing an extreme dependence on Tubbo that culminated with the line “What am I without you?” (basing your entire identity around someone else is not healthy, who’d have thought?). With the developing of the hotel post-finale he expands his system of support to include Sam and Sam Nook, but this is of course ruined with the prison arc. Tommy doesn’t trust Sam any longer and, while he still cares deeply about Sam Nook, he’s not someone that can give him emotional support. So he went back to rely soley on Tubbo (though it’s obvious throughout the stream that he’s tentatively doing so with Ranboo as well)
Tommy & Ranboo: The two of them used to be sort of close before Doomsday, Ranboo still very much admiring Tommy and considering him a friend. Thet said Ranboo is not in the very small circle of people who Tommy trusts and finding him married to his best friend and moving in together with a child didn’t help his perception of him. He feels replaced by Ranboo and sort of feels like he “stole” the only system of support he had that he could count on. Though there is a beginning of change throughout the stream.
Tommy & Ghostbur: Their relationship is really interesting. Tommy is pretty obviously one of Ghostbur’s unfinished businesses (possibly the only one now that L’Manburg is gone) and most definitely his priority. He was the only one who offered to go with Tommy during exile and he tried to be there for him constantly. Even his return this time was Tommy-motivated as we know from what he said in Ranboo’s stream. Meanwhile Tommy’s feelings on him are very complicated. He swings between recognizing that Alivebur and Ghostbur are different entities to conflating them together any time he has a strong reminder of Alivebur (at the beginning of exile and after spending time with Void!Wilbur for example). He also has only very recently come to the full realisation that Wilbur was awful to him and that their relationship was definitely not healthy (something we can infer from him finally taking a stance on not wanting him back and him admitting that Wilbur is good at manipulating him).
Now that that’s done, let’s get into the analysis!
“Oh I forgot I died, didn’t I?” So, Tommy is in a very peculiar situation where he has to somehow process his own death and, at the moment, he’s still in a state of denial about it. He knows he died but he acts like he didn’t in the sense that he hates how it affects his life. He doesn’t want people to treat him any different (even though he IS different), he doesn’t want to acknowledge the changesto the world nor to his relationships, which is the reason why he dislikes the statues of himself so much (that and the fact that he simply never liked to have statues of him). They act as a constant phisycal reminder of what happened to him and, more importantly, how much things changed in his absence.
One other reason why change scares him so much it’s because of how often he’s alienated from the world around him. He spent more time in exile/prison then in his own home since L’Manburg got it’s independence. He is constantly forced to live in an isolated bubble while the world around him moves forward and then, when he gets thrown back in he is never really given much time to adapt and catch up before he is thrown once more into the role of the hero/villain that he despises (after the 16th for example he was painted as a liability at his first mistake and put on trial etc despite how much he did for the country. Again after Doomsday he had the Dream fight to think about and, after that, Sam Nook asked him again to be the hero against the Egg and he, once again, was villanized by the Team Rocket. Now again he finds himself in the position where he has to take action against Dream once more).
So the stream really starts with Tommy deciding to contact Tubbo to get some help in his plan to kill Dream. He heads to Snowchester to do so (stopping before that to build Sam Nook a little wooden platform to keep him out of the rain).
On the way to Snowchester he gets trapped in the tunnel and almost drowns, making him break the glass of the tunnel. This is triggering for him for a couple of reasons (aside from drowning generally being not pog): exile reminder of his waking up drowning every day and taking damage in general seems to be a reminder of his death (he also seems to be hypersensitive in general in regard to phisycal sensations)
The whole mansion scene is a further indicator of this new dynamic between Tubbo, Ranboo and Tommy. Tubbo and Ranboo grew extremely close as we know (got married for tax benefits, adopted a child together and, apparently, canonically fell in love after) and they are planning to move in together with their son in the mansion. This, once again, all happened while Tommy was locked in prison. The feelings of alienation for him in the situation are prevalent together with his jealousy at Ranboo as he perceives him as his replacement.
“You married someone without me- without my permission?” “Okay, can I have your permission?” “Does he make you happy?” “Yes” “then ye- okay” Just... I’m a softie and I think that it’s very sweet that his only requirement to give his blessing is Ranboo making Tubbo happy. We stan a unconditionally supportive friend!
“Ranboo listen, let me open up to you pal! I- I’ve been through a pretty rough time recently and- (”Yeah I can tell”) and I know that we were kind of close before I went into prison, but then you ki- Tubbo would you mind looking at that flower a bit more? You kinda stole my best friend, and that’s kinda- you know now I feel kind of very lonely- actually feel very lonely” “I didn’t steal...” “And my other friend who then turned out to be my enemy is actually dead. So I’m kinda feeling a little bit left out here, and considering I was locked in a prison for 4 weeks...” “Yeah, no, I mean... I didn’t- I didn’t steal...” “No no no no, you did, you did, didn’t you? You did!” That was a big piece of dialogue there to transcribe! Regardless Tommy doing my job for me here by literally spelling out for us how he feels about Ranboo. One thing to be noted though is that Ranboo remains calm and keeps an understanding attitude in all his interactions with Tommy. He constantly tries to be reasonable (trying to explain that he didn’t “steal” Tubbo as, you know, he has his own free will and can have more then one friend) and generally just doesn’t get mad. Keeping a non-confrontational attitude is probably the best thing he could have done here.
So after that exchange Tommy opens up to them a bit about Dream, explaining what he’s planning.
“The revive book is too much and he (Dream) is too powerful and he’s only gonna use it for evil now! He is an evil man and he used it- he used ME to prove a point and to experiment on me” “Oh my God, like a lab rat!” “Like a- like a- worse then a lab rat! A lab- a lab sock!” “A lab sock?! No!” “Oh God!” “Oh my God” This is the first time in the conversation where Tommy’s gone more in depth about his traumatic experience (though he did mention before that “Dream asked him about it” in reference to his revival). It’s honestly a really big positive that he’s opening up to someone, even if it is other two teenagers who can’t do much but be sympathetic to him.
“I think it’s good. You don’t actually know this but I’ve been- I’ve been collecting some data, but, honestly... I’m not sure is a too good of an idea” “You said it was good” “No no no, I didn’t mean it was good in the sense of we should-” “Ranboo’s changed you, Ranboo’s changed you! He’s manipulating you! He’s manipulative and controlling” So 2 things to unpack here:
1) Tubbo hesitance comes from both him being on his last life and how things went during the season 2 finale. He isn’t too optimistic about their chances of killing Dream (even with Dream being completely unarmed in the prison) and he’s also less passively suicidal then he was during the finale, probably because he managed to build a life for himself now. He has a home, a family and Snowchester, he doesn’t wanna loose those.
2) Because of very obvious reasons (Wilbur being abusive, Dream being abusive, Techno isolating and manipulating him and then siding with his abuser and Sam betraying his trust) Tommy views all relationships aside from his with Tubbo in a negative lense. Basically he has HUGE trust issues and he’s so used to his relationships having usually some degree of manipulation (exept for Sam, who still entirely broke his trust. Also recently found out Jack had been lying and trying to kill him as well, which probably didn’t help the issue) that he just assumes that must be the case for Tubbo and Ranboo as well. Both of them of course are fast to correct him on this as that’s really not the case.
“So why don’t you want him to bring Wilbur back now? What suddenly changed?” “I spent months in the death... area- let’s call it ‘the death zone’, with Wilbur alright?” “The death zone?” “I spent months there. I spent months and months and months there and I was only there for a few days, Wilbur’s been there for real months. He is so different and he is fucking powerful and you know how he molds me like a piece of clay, Tubbo. (hushed) I don’t want him to come back” So here we have Tommy’s admission to Wilbur’s manipulation and how effective it is on him (most probably because of how close they used to be). We also have another hint about how dangerous Wilbur is now because of the knowledge he acquired.
“In the mean time we also... unless we don’t kill Dream... we gonna have to stop Technoblade, ‘cause Technoblade owes him a favour” “Stop Technoblade?” “Technoblade owes him a favour and we can’t let him redeem it” When Tommy mention’s Techno, Tubbo immediately becomes even MORE hesitant about this whole thing (probably a mix of his death-related trauma, Techno exploding his nation twice and his most recent inquisition venture in Snowchester).
“So why don’t we try to block Dream’s communication with Technoblade? ‘Cause then Technoblade would have no idea how to... redeem... the favour” “He can bring back the dead Tubbo, we need him DEAD! He’s too powerful for this server’s good and he’s a bad man and he won’t use his powers for good. And it’s not even-” “Mmmmh” “What do you mean ‘Mmmh’ Man?!” “I don’t know this really- this didn’t go too well for us last time we got all hyped up and tried to do this” Tubbo once again is mostly apprehensive because of how things went last time they were up against Dream. He also tried proposing an alternative solution to fighting that Tommy shoots down because he doesn’t think anyone should have the power that Dream has. Also, may I add that Ranboo is actually on Tommy’s side on this whole thing? Possibly because he knows as well how dangerous Dream still is.
“Just because he’s locked up doesn’t mean his strenght is, allright?” This basically perfectly sums up the crux of the issue. Of course thanks to Quackity’s lore we know that Dream’s power now is mostly a facade, but they don’t know this. To them Dream is just as powerful now as he was before. To them the image of powerlessness that the prison gives him is the facade.
That said the conversation in the electric chair tower ends here and, as this is already so incredibly long, I’ll also end part one of the analysis here. This was also the most lore-heavy part as the rest is more light-hearted so it’ll probably be faster to cover.
#tommyinnit#tubbo#ranboo#ghostbur#dream smp#tw abuse#tw manipulation#analysis#character analysis#I truly WOULD have mad it all one post#but this is already absurdly long as is...#and as I said this was the more lore-heavy part#so the split fits well#long post#but you knew that already#my post
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Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mikotoba Yuujin/Sherlock Holmes | Herlock Sholmes, Mikotoba Yuujin & Sherlock Holmes | Herlock Sholmes, why isn't there a platonic tag for them.... Additional Tags: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Pre-Canon, Regret, Guilt, Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Y'know, just dudes accidentally being dads.
Yuujin apparently didn't have to worry about knocking the door at 1am because he didn’t even have to wait for more than 2 seconds before the door swung open to an already chattering man. Sholmes had a frown on his face as he talked animatedly, "... checked with me! It is incredibly late. There had better be a proper reason why you would require me to open the door for you at this time. What would you do had I been asleep? You most definitely have your key with you so I don't see why you couldn't just…" He trailed off as his eyes travelled downwards to the bundle in Yuujin's arms.
A small pudgy hand stuck out from the folds of the towels. Sholmes' gaze travelled quickly from Yuujin's arms, to his face, to the large medical bag on the floor and to his hands before sighing. "Hm… I see." Wasting no time at all, he stepped aside for the exhausted Japanese man and closed the door without a single fuss.
Yuujin supposed that was the good thing about Sholmes, you didn't need to explain too much to him. And Yuujin couldn't be more grateful for this trait of his tonight; he was in no mood for explaining anything.
Cradling the infant, he sat down on his bed, which creaked under his weight. The baby made a noise as she gazed up at him with wide eyes. For a second, the blue in her eyes shifted to a familiar brown he hadn’t seen in ages, and Yuujin felt a pang in his chest. He tore his eyes away from the child and said, "I- Well, I believe it's, um, her meal time. Herlock, could you make something for her?"
Sholmes followed Yuujin's gaze to the large bag he came in with. "Where did you get it from?"
"The… The mother had it prepared at her home. And I simply… took it."
Sholmes froze mid-bend to look at Yuujin quizzically. "But that would mean…" He caught himself and shook his head.
Yuujin didn't know what conclusion Sholmes had drawn from that but knowing him, it was probably scarily close to the truth.
“It pains me to admit, my friend,” Sholmes said, holding up the bottle and the bag of baby food, “but it seems even my brilliance may have its limits when it comes to the art of making infant food without instruction.”
“Ah,” Yuujin said as he gently placed the child on the bed. “Right. Of course.” After making sure she was nicely settled, he got up with a sigh. God, how much of an old man he was behaving right now, especially when there was an eighteen-year-old around him daily as a direct comparison. He gestured for Sholmes to join him as he prepared the food, describing the process as they went along.
As he shook the bottle, Sholmes asked, “You are teaching me all this because you intend to leave her in my care, don’t you?”
Yuujin flinched. “I… Well…”
To be asked so directly… but that always was the way with Sholmes, was it not?
After taking in a deep breath, Yuujin admitted, “Truthfully, yes. I presume that Jigoku and I might be deported soon and I can’t take this child with me… I am supposed to only care for her temporarily but…” Yuujin had no idea what Genshin had meant. What on earth did he mean when he said, ‘if something should happen to me’? None of it made sense… God, his head hurt.
He shook his head, trying to clear it, trying to focus. “Hopefully, it will not come to it but I have to prepare for the worst. I can’t put this child’s future on vague hopes.”
Sholmes looked back at the infant lying on the mattress and Yuujin recognised the flicker of apprehension in his eyes. His heart squeezed with guilt.
“I’m sorry. This is a lot to ask of you. You’re the first person I thought of but I know I… I am being incredibly selfish." He shook his head. "Please do forget it, Sholmes. I shall look for alternatives. You needn't worry yourself with this."
Before Yuujin could say another word, however, the child on the bed began to wail. He snapped into action, rushing to the child. Gently, he cradled her again and rocked her. “Are you hungry? Don’t worry. We have food,” he cooed. He gestured for the bottle and Sholmes handed it to him.
Carefully, he cocked the bottle to the infant and pressed the nipple to her lips. The crying slowed quickly and the child began to suck at the nipple. She was suckling with such ferocity that Yuujin couldn’t help but laugh at the adorable little face she was making. This baby girl was going to grow up strong, he could already tell.
He thought of the baby—ah, no… she must be 6 years old by now; no longer the baby he had left in Japan… Thinking about it made him so very tired and guilty. That made it a total of two children.
Two children whose mothers he could only watch lose their lives to childbirth, unable to do anything as he cried for hours after. Two children who would grow up without fathers because one was killed by the Professor, and the other spent every day on the brink of complete and utter resignation before he was whisked away to a foreign land. Two children he was leaving in the care of others again, because he was incapable. Two children who were supposed to be his responsibility, placed under his care, yet he had abandoned—was going to abandon—them.
What a useless man he was. He failed at being a caretaker of these children. He was meant to be a father but now it felt like a title he didn't deserve—
“Can I try?” Sholmes broke Yuujin's train of thought, voice quieter than usual.
“Ah, of course.” Yuujin shuffled closer to Sholmes, who took the bottle. The infant’s eyes widened and her lips trembled as the nipple slipped out of her mouth for a second. But Sholmes returned the bottle to the infant, who resumed her suckling with what seemed almost like increased fervour.
“Do not worry,” Sholmes said. “I’m not taking it away from you. You need not react with such sadness and worry!”
“She’s just an infant,” Yuujin chided lightly. “She wouldn’t know otherwise.”
“That's right…” Sholmes said. “Your experience of the world is not even 24 hours! There is very much for you to learn, isn't there?”
Yuujin nodded, but his chest was welling up with worry. Not even 24 hours in the world and, already, her life was looking so… bleak. What on earth was Genshin even going to do?
No, Yuujin would wait. Genshin looked like he had a plan. Surely, he was needlessly worrying.
But the next day, Yuujin heard nothing about Genshin other than the news that he had been executed. So he waited for whatever arrangements Genshin might have gotten to pull through. But days stretched to weeks before, as Yuujin had predicted, the exchange was called off officially and all Japanese students were to be deported. And Yuujin was certain that there was no more hope left.
"It's a bit sad that you still haven't got a name, isn't it?" Sholmes said, lifting the baby up. "After all this while."
The baby let out a joyful noise.
"Actually… I've been calling her little Iris for a while. I-In my head," Yuujin admitted. It hadn't felt right for the baby to be completely nameless. But it hadn't felt right to actually name her either.
"Little Iris?"
"Yes, Iris. Um… named after my… wife, Ayame. But in English," Yuujin said sheepishly. It felt silly now, but two weeks ago, as he held the child and whispered to her gently, he wondered if giving the baby the name of his dead wife might mean she'd be watching over her too. Perhaps she'd protect the child from any more tragedy and harm. Like some sort of protection charm.
Yuujin hoped it wasn’t too selfish, asking his wife to watch over two children like this.
"Iris…" Sholmes repeated. He turned to the child with a smile. "Your Papa has given you a good name, hasn't he?"
Yuujin felt his ears grow hot.
"I'm not her Papa, Sholmes," Yuujin said in a mix of exasperation and fondness, shaking his head. "I thought that much was obvious."
“You worry so much over her, you’re practically her Papa. Don’t pretend like you don’t peer into her cot almost every hour just to smile at her,” Sholmes said.
Yuujin sputtered in mortification, but he had no leg to stand on in this argument.
"Besides, as far as I'm concerned, we're Iris' fathers now," he said. "I'll be taking care of her from now on after all."
Jaw dropping, Yuujin stuttered, "You'll be… what? No, there's no need to do that. I'll search for someone else before I leave. You don't need to do this."
"It's quite alright, my friend!" Sholmes said. "I, the great detective, am clearly a natural at many things including taking care of infants. You can leave Iris in my very attentive and gentle care!"
"But that is simply too much to ask of you.” Yuujin’s heart felt heavy, dripping with guilt and distress. “I’ll try—"
"Nonsense!" Sholmes huffed. "Nothing is too much to ask of me. While I was frankly quite worried at first, time has proven that I have quite a knack for taking care of children. It will be fine."
"No, it's not right to burden you with this. I shall look for alternatives—"
"Surely, you won't be so cruel as to separate us!" Sholmes interrupted. "We get on so well after all. Like a house on fire, wouldn't you agree?" He lifted Iris to eye-level, and she gurgled excitedly.
Yuujin pursed his lips. He sure hoped this was just one of those strange English turn of phrases, rather than something literal. He had been the unfortunate witness to how "on fire" Sholmes could turn a house before.
Noticing the worry still etched upon Yuujin's face, Sholmes said in a more sombre tone, "Truthfully, that night, I was honoured to be the first person you've consulted about this. It spoke volumes of the faith you have in me. And now, I truly do wish to care for Iris… A part of me also thinks that it would be rather nice if… when you come back, you could come home to me and Iris both. And I know how much you’d worry about her back in Japan." He smiled softly at Yuujin. "What do you say, my dear partner?"
“I…” Yuujin gazed at Iris, his eyes burning with the threat of tears again. “Thank you so much, Sholmes."
#dai gyatuken saiban#dgs#the great ace attorney#tgaa#ace attorney#homumiko#angst#hurt/comfort#sorta#fanfic#herlock sholmes#sherlock holmes#yujin mikotoba#mikotoba yuujin#my writing
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