#whole embodied health and wellness

[alchemyofmaya]

Through the power of your mind, you can transform your life

We are in a constant state of trance. When you are able to detach and understand that you are the observer of reality, of your life, of your thoughts, emotions & reactions. You watch and watch your thoughts like watching a movie.. and you fall asleep.

Your thoughts hypnotize you, you believe them to be real. Emotions arise and you react in accordance — and this cycle creates your reality (unconsciously)

Through hypnosis you are able to allow your conscious thinking mind (ego) to rest, to go deeper into a state of trance.

When you recognize that you are not your thoughts, not your feelings, not your body. You are not your mind, you are the one observing all these things — you are even beyond the soul. You are the soul of the soul. The creator of creation.

When you feel this detachment, from the self, from the story of your experiences — you create space, for the streams of divine grace, of pure consciousness, of awareness, to fill that space. This is where the dissolving of limitations, of illnesses, of habits and attachments occurs — this is how healing happens.

[wellbodymind]

Teaching: Deepening awareness of embodiment

This past Saturday, I provided the “ofrenda” at the monthly gathering of women dancing the 5 Rhythms (Step Into Yes) in Austin, facilitated by Lisa DeLand (dancingfirelizards.com). Lisa and I are old friends. We met at Sweat Your Prayers, an ecstatic dance, in 1995. We have similar paths of recovery from adverse childhood experiences, and now, having worked a lot with our selves, by ourselves and…

[sanguinesmi1e]

A Round Door Like a Porthole, Lazarus Green Pt. 1 (you're here) Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4

Wayne Enterprises didn’t really need a small business specializing in “ecto-weapons” invented by self-purported ghost hunters, but S.T.A.R. Labs tipped Lucius Fox off that Lex Luthor was trying to buy an obscure little company in Illinois, and thwarting Luthor was always worthwhile. Now Tim just had to figure out what to do with all the equipment and the concerningly large arsenal of guns and things that looked like normal household items but seemed to have other, horrific purposes. He would have laughed at the way they slapped “Fenton” in front of every invention name (do ghost hunters really need a Fenton thermos? Won’t a normal thermos keep their coffee hot just as well? Are ghosts like trout, to be caught with a Fenton Ghost Fisher which just looks like a normal fishing rod but glow-in-the-dark. And what the fuck even is a Fenton Peeler!?), but he thought with some chagrin about the batarangs, batmobile, and everything else that had “bat” as a prefix in the batcave. 

However, of all the things Tim hadn’t expected to find when he flew out to do an inventory of assets after they bought the business sight-unseen, a portal generating a Lazarus Pit in gaseous form was probably at the top of his list. He didn’t even know that Lazarus water could change states from a liquid to a gas like that. Maybe there actually was something to the whole ghost thing. He supposed that it made sense for ghosts to exist, after all Deadman was part of Justice League Dark. Speaking of. . . he should see if Bruce could call in someone from JLD to assess things. He was feeling decidedly out of his depth.

John Constantine did not like to consult for mega corporations like Wayne Enterprises, but Batman had specifically requested he go check something out and he figured, where's the harm? 

There. 

There’s the harm. 

It turned out the “thing” he’d been called in to look at is a machine that can tear open a stable portal into the Infinite Realms. That is not something that should be possible. That is not something technology should be capable of achieving. That is definitely not something that should exist. Bloody hell, what had the Bats roped him into!?

This really should have been Zatana’s job. Or Deadman’s. Hell, Raven or Secret would be preferable. Because John would prefer not to be dealing with this. In fact, he would prefer to be back in literal Hell than deal with the crazy shit in the Infinite Realms. Could John handle demons, archangels, and even gods? Yeah. He can bind or exorcize most supernatural threats. Does that mean he relishes the idea of going toe to toe with heavy hitters from the Infinite Realms? Absolutely not. 

Some beings who lived there were just little blob ghosts made from ectoplasm and emotion. Some were the restless undead who could not or would not cross over to their afterlives. And some were the embodiments of concepts like nature, destructive weather, and dreams. He wasn’t sure where Death fit into the Realms, whether she ruled or visited, or if it was actually just an extension of her, but he didn’t really want to find out. There were many things John could defeat. Death wasn’t one of them. And now he was looking at a portal into a realm where the living were not meant to be. 

Danny hadn’t returned to Fenton Works since graduating high school. It turned out that he was less anxious when he was not living with people who fantasized about “tearing him apart molecule by molecule” and thought that discussing their plans to dissect him (although he maintained that it would be a vivisection since he’s only half dead) made for fascinating dinner conversation. Who would have thought that his constant stress, anxiety, and insomnia were caused by environmental factors? He’d been unpacking things with a very nice therapist his sister helped him find, and seen great improvements in his mental health. It really helped that she was dead too, and unlike Spectra she didn’t feed off the misery of her patients.

Danny hadn’t intended to ever return to Fenton Works, but when Jazz told him that Jack and Maddie sold their life's work to Wayne Enterprises and a multibillionaire playboy was about to have unfettered access to the Ghost Zone, he was. . . concerned. To say the least. And that was why he was in the middle of doing some light sabotage when Tim Drake-Wayne and a guy in a trenchcoat who reeked of cigarette smoke entered the basement lab. It’s why he was hiding under the Specter Speeder removing the ecto-engine, and there to overhear the conversation that followed.

“So, am I right in thinking that’s a Lazarus Pit?” Tim asked Constantine.

The older man stared at the portal, then at Tim, then at the portal for an uncomfortably long time. Then he pulled out a flask and drained half its contents before saying, “Yes and no. That is basically the same substance as the pits, but I think that this does something else entirely. It seems like this machine basically functions as a summoning circle, but instead of pulling one entity from one side to the other, this is just an open doorway that is perpetually pulling in anything or anyone who gets within its sphere of influence.”

“That doesn’t sound like a good thing, John.”

“It’s really not,” 

“So what does that mean, is it like a blown hatch in space causing rapid depressurization?” Tim felt a little ill at the thought. “What is it even pulling into our world?”

“No, no. Nothing so dramatic as that. It’s more like, hm, so the way summoning circles work is they invite or compel a specific entity to manifest, by basically making a one-way magical portal for them. This portal is kinda like an invitational summoning, which entices, but doesn’t force anyone to enter. Usually a summoning will have a purpose though, and the being you summon will be offered a deal. If this is doing what I think it is and pulling citizens of the Infinite Realms through and leaving them on this side without a contract or direction, they’re probably getting pretty frustrated and causing havoc. It’s like offering someone a job in another country so they have to get a visa and uproot everything, only to get off the plane and find an empty office, no housing, and no paycheck.” John lit up a cigarette and took a drag.

Tim wrinkled his nose, but knew from long experience that it wasn’t worth it to argue about American tobacco restrictions in the workplace with Constantine, especially while the man was doing him a favor. Also, the man looked like he really needed either a cigarette or another drink, and he’d prefer second hand smoke to a drunk sorcerer. “So then why hasn’t this town been overrun by these beings from the Infinite Realms?”

“Good question kid, but what I really want to know is how is this portal staying open? Really, how was it opened in the first place is the most pressing issue.” John mused.

Tim had already located the blueprints for the portal while waiting for Constantine, but either the Fentons had intentionally falsified the documents to seem plausible just long enough to make off with the money, or he just didn’t understand enough of the interaction between physics and the occult to comprehend how the portal could possibly function. 

He flipped back through the blueprints while the blond man sat cross legged in front of the swirling green portal and his low, distracted mutterings took on the cadence of a chant. The curl of smoke from his lit cigarette unfurled into some kind of spell array, and began to glow. Huh, maybe Tim shouldn't be too quick to judge him for tobacco misuse. Tim triple checked the flat file for any more information about the portal, and came up empty handed.

John, meanwhile, kept chanting as the magical array grew and spread to encompass the entire entrance to the portal. At last he stopped speaking and stood up, stepping back to double check his work. “Alright, Drake. You might wanna close your eyes for this one. It’s gonna be bright,” he said, popping his cigarette back between his lips. Then he stepped forward and blew a mouthful of smoke on the center of the array. The smoke caught against the softly glowing lines, pushing them until they floated back and collided with the nebulous green swirls and, despite Tim closing his eyes, flashed so incandescently white he could see them through his eyelids.

“OW! Fuck!!” John clutched his face, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. “I’m doubling my consulting fee,” he grumbled under his breath.

“You alright?” Tim asked, blinking spots out of his vision.

“Yeah, yeah. Just give me a sec.” He too was blinking now. “That was not supposed to be so bright.”

“I’m assuming it worked though.”

“It had bloody well better ’ave worked.” The older man squinted at the slightly dimmer lines which still shone painfully bright against the green. “Oh. Yeah, that worked. Fuck. . .”

“What?” Tim looked on in alarm as Constantine pressed a hand over his mouth. 

“Oh man. What wanker did you say created this portal?”

“Presumably Drs. Madeline and Jack Fenton. Why?” He drew the last syllable out skeptically. 

“Because, they opened this portal with a child sacrifice, and bound his death and all the lost life potential to their bloody machine to create a perpetual gateway to the Infinite Realms.”

[ukiyowi]

𝐏𝐄𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐎 (𝟏𝟏𝟖)

𝑃𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑢𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑆𝑒𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

Peitho is the Greek goddess of persuasion, seduction and charming speech. In my opinion, wherever Peitho is in your chart, it shows in what way are you persuasive and seductive, what areas can you persuade people. 

Masterlist

⟲ Houses: 

Ⱄ 1st - So determined and have very high self-esteem, may feel empowered through sexual liberation, you use your confidence and authoritive aura to seduce and get people to do what you want, honestly low-key can make anyone listen to you, you may notice a lot of people getting easily swayed by you, may embody traits of Peitho to a certain extent. 

Ⱄ 2nd - Can easily get money from people around them, may get a lot of material gifts without having to ask for them, can influence people's choices about financial decisions, good at talking business and getting people to spend, sensual and sweet, extremely feminine and may have slow elegant movement. People may not agree, but femme fatale energy as well. 

Ⱄ 3rd - Charming speech really charming, they can get people to do whatever they want using a few sweet words. Silver tongue, great sales people, can sell and pitch ideas really well. May be the type to be an academic, use their intellect and knowledge to seduce people, also good at spreading rumours. 

Ⱄ 4th - Welcoming and warm, persuade people through making them think it was their idea on the first place, manipulative, make people feel at home and get your way through creating a comfortable space, nurturing instincts that can make people imagine having a family with you may garner a lot of suitors who want to start a family.

Ⱄ 5th - They're really creative and their originality is what gets people to listen and makes them curious, great teachers, kids always listen to them, big movements, their way of doing things is grandiose, could be a bit of a tease, I've seen these people dance and they look very attractive and in their element. 

Ⱄ 6th - People always listen to them when it comes to health or routine, for example people with this placement could advice someone to change their diet and the person would instantly agree or try to do as advised, straightforward when trying to persuade someone, mind over matter in terms of seduction, seduces through promises of giving more than receiving.

Ⱄ 7th - My friend has this placement and she's a matchmaker, can persuade people to either get into relationships or out of them, have a great eye for red flags, polite can be a bit condescending, they may use their demure demeanour to seduce people, may have the whole "good girl/boy" "girl/boy next door" thing going. 

Ⱄ 8th - Just powerful in general, convincing in regards to matters related to family property and finances, may be good at persuading people to learn more about the occult and make them interested in it, intense and mysterious seduction, pull people in who like the chase like a cat and mouse game, could pull anyone they want to be honest.

Ⱄ 9th - Make for great academics and can be the type to be able to easily recruit people into a religious organisation/making people believe in multiple religions/gods, good at convincing people to travel with them or accompany them (even if it's to the grocery store) fast paced, see seduction as a weapon to wield, direct and honest, a little clumsy.

Ⱄ 10th - The ability to make or break someone's reputation honestly, whatever they say in a work setting is taken seriously, motivate co-workers to work hard, if they spread a rumour about someone at the workplace people will take it as truth, can persuade people to change career paths, seduce through smizes, bold yet reserved body language and wit. 

Ⱄ 11th - Have such a huge influence on their friend group and community, easily persuade people to be more giving to the community, carry out humanitarian acts, donate, persuade people to alter or change political beliefs and friends, seduce by being different, their eccentricity pulls people in because its unique, fluid in terms of they can make themselves be anyone's ideal type. 

Ⱄ 12th - My friend has this placement part 2, helps and persuades people to move on from past trauma and heal themselves, are able to convince people to get rid of their limiting beliefs and this placement has a healer role almost. Seduction caused by looking/seeming dreamy and making themselves seem unattainable, use fashion to go for the kill. 

xoxoxo

All Rights Reserved Ukiyowi. Do not steal or plagiarise or reword and claim as your own!

[dr-spectre]

Getting sappy about the Squid Sisters....

The Squid Sisters being the ones to start and end Three Wishes genuinely broke me down and made me feel the most amount of emotion out of anything in this whole franchise.

They embody the past, present and the future of this series and it's world. They have made an impact in the past as they were the ones who started it all, they sing and dance in the present, and will plant the seeds for the future. Them getting the opening and final lines of this grand song is just... it's so smart.

These girls are so important to me on so many levels it's not even funny. I genuinely don't know what my mental health would be like without having these comfort characters by my side. I love them so much and they helped me get through the worst mental period in my life back in mid 2023. If they didn't help me see the light and comforted me, i don't know where i would be.... They also helped me get comfortable with my autism as well and made it less of a curse and more of a difference in how i see this chaotic world.

I remember getting my Callie plushie in October 2023 and once i held her... i teared up. This is not a joke. I'm not playing around. A 19 year old me actually cried holding a cute little Callie plush. She helps me sleep at night and helps silence the stupid thoughts in my brain that is just trying to rest.

I've been in love with this series since 2017 and it's done so much for me since then. I am gonna continue to love and adore this series until my heart finally stops beating. I've made so many memories i hold near and dear to my heart and some of the best gaming experiences I've ever had.

And getting the chance to share it with you all is just... I'm so happy. I don't feel lonely anymore in my thoughts and this series helped me make wonderful connections and it will continue to do so...

I love the Squid Sisters... I love them with every piece of my heart.

Sorry for getting all sappy LOL! (It will happen again in September.)

[siringadev]

I was thinking about why I love Nero so much, and I realized that there is not only something so magnetic and unique about him and his design, but how the core of his whole personality is built on a deep love for Weiss, despite the fact that he is an antihero and does not very good things (first under orders from Shinra, since he is a Deepground soldier, and then out of duress, to summon Omega = to revive Weiss), but all this is out of desperation and love. I do not know any other character inside the FF7 world and beyond, who is so motivated to act out of love as Nero. Even take other iconic pairs of loving brothers (because it is brother's love that is depicted as the strongest in JP games and anime), their motivations were different, and love was secondary.

Take Itachi and Sasuke, for example.

Itachi is stated to have a very strong love for Sasuke, but what he does ultimately causes Sasuke great pain. Yes, Itachi wanted to save him, but at what cost? And his main motive was: to prevent a world war. So, at the cost of his clan's life and Sasuke's mental health, he does something terrible, and I still can't accept it as an act of love. It seems such an unhealthy, twisted form of love, illogical and scary.

And yet, I cried watching those scenes where Itachi reveals the truth, where Sasuke cries, everything is built to squeeze out tears.

Next, Madara and Izuna.

It is stated that he loved Izuna, and loved him even more than Itachi loves Sasuke. And how is this shown and proven? Well, it seems like almost nothing. Madara's main motivation is to become the strongest shinobi, to take control of the world and establish his own order, and thereby establish peace through strict control and then through magical illusions when he became disillusioned with contradictory and rebellious human nature. I understand his motivations, and he is one of the most admired character in Naruto. But what does love have to do with it? Izuna is not even present in his motivation. He simply died and caused Madara's grief, making him cruel and aggressive. And also gave him his eyes. But what besides this?

As for the others, like Lothric-Lorian from Dark souls, their connection was forced by the curse, and their motivation is simply to disobey their superiors. Their essence is nihilism and fatalism. Love is just an accompanying quality.

Not to mention Miquella, who did not show love as a personal emotion, although it seems he should embody universal love. We just can't see his love for Radahn or Godwyn or anyone to the point that we start to wonder if there was love at all? Or if there was love but it wasn't shown? So he is out of the love list.

If we talk about the love of Sephiroth, Cloud and other characters of FF7, they are so far from ultimate love that it does not even occur to me what can be said. Probably, Sephiroth wanted to love, but could not find anyone, suffering from loneliness and his own inability to build healthy relationships, and Cloud had many friends whom he valued, but never found "the one and only", whom he would love completely and unconditionally (which is why ship-wars still rage). It seems that Sephiroth could have become that one and only, considering how much Cloud idolized him, but Sephiroth ruined everything. Yes, Shinra is to blame for this, but partly it is Sephiroth's character, his selfishness and inability to put someone else's feelings above his own. Considering that Nero and Weiss grew up in much worse conditions than Sephiroth, and suffered abuse and pain from Shinra that Sephiroth did not experienced, yet somehow they were able to form the strongest bonds of love with each other and the healthiest relationships with each other (not toxic, not abusive, but built on loyalty, devotion, trust, unity and intimacy).

Sephiroth was so unlucky in love that even his own clones wanted to leave him in the DFFOO, and Weiss even laughed at this, telling Sephiroth that his puppet (Kadaj) cut his strings. And Kadaj, embodying young Sephiroth personality, longed for a family and to find someone who understood and cared for him, and he saw this in the illusionary form of Jenova. Sephiroth could have given him this care and love, but he simply used him as a tool, which hurt Kadaj. As for Weiss, he remembers Nero as the only one who understands him and cares for him, someone without whom he feels incomplete.

"Without Nero, there is no me" - this shows Weiss and Nero's relationship from Weiss' perspective. In DoC, we see their love from Nero's perspective and might have doubted about the reciprocity, but DFFOO shows that Weiss loves Nero as much as Nero loves Weiss.

Each case is unique, and each deserves its own respect and admiration. I simply analyzed one aspect, like love in a character, and came to the conclusion that Nero may be the strongest embodiment of this love at the moment.

[iridessence]

I would like to take a moment to acknowledge myself and say that I am elated and proud to have manifested some of my major goals since 2018-2019. Basically before then, 2014-16 I struggled with depression and suicidal ideation quite frequently due to not having steady income, as jobs in retail seemed the only available and “safe” options, but long shifts standing at a registers or posts were damagingly hard on my body. In 2017 I got a desk job that set me on the path of financial stability and reduced physical load, which did absolute wonders for my mental health but it was an absolute blight to my existence over time due to terrible management and the usual corporate garbage. I knew that staying there was fine for a time but not sustainable in the long run, so change must come eventually.

also around then, I continued to explore self portraiture and personal style but I really wanted to perform/create Burlesque acts and book them, and invest in and actually have choreography/technique and beautiful costume pieces that looked like the visions refining themselves in my head through research. I was also perpetually struggling in the dating sphere with the deficit of romantic fulfillment that I deeply wanted. and while they weren’t hostile, things were definitely weird with my family (dysfunctional, literal small town energy, upset that I didn’t want to be around them more in the suburbs but lots of interpersonal toxicity and lack of emotional growth).

I knew that in the coming years I wanted to…

quit my soul sucking job and set out to be a full-time or at least professional level burlesque performer, creating the qualitative and classic show girl acts I dream to see on stage

work on the floor at a boutique or mom-and-pop type shop that sells goods or services that are interesting to me, especially aesthetically, such as an antique shop or a jewelry boutique etc., but a place where I could sit intermittently as needed for my physical disability. Also, ideally it would be a position where I could express myself through style at my choosing and it would be received well, and also my hours would not be very early or very late.

find a loving and supporting partner who I could lavish equal amounts of love and support on to, live with and hopefully marry

Achieve/maintain financial stability enough that I have a reduced risk for homelessness and sometimes treat myself to things that I enjoy.

Figure out why the relationship with my family was such a struggle and do things within my power and desire to fix it.

In a world that isn’t a corporate machine devoid of empathy, none of that seems like a tall order to ask… but I live in America so… It took some time, but I’m starting to see the fruits and returns. Honestly sometimes things feel like a blur and I’m not exactly sure I could say there was a huge system to what I did overtime to make it work, but I know the work was there.

As of today, September 9, 2023:

I am a respected professional burlesque performer with costumes I figuratively gag over and acts that come closer and closer to hitting the aesthetic nail on the head for what I want to embody. (I quit that shitty desk job at the beginning of 2019 and haven’t looked back since. Sent a whole ass company wide message with a long and detailed “fuck you” too.😂🙈)

i’ve managed through burlesque, social media work, donations and savings, and —since the global pandemic—,odd jobs and grants/minimal loans, to continuously pay rent and ward off homelessness 

I live with the love of my life, to whom I am engaged and actively planning our wedding (we looked at a venue yesterday!)

I’ve helped my mom on the growth of her emotional intelligence and commitment to learning more about values under the race, gender, and sexuality umbrella, as well pushed her to examine the enabling and entitlement dynamics with her adult children that take advantage of her. While my relationship with my brother and sister is not great, my relationship with my mom has been steadily getting better since the pandemic. we had a breakthrough at the beginning of this year where she acknowledged and apologized for guilt tripping me for not being around the family more, when I was (she quoted) “actually protecting myself like she should have been.”

and litcherally within the past week I was offered the job at a local boutique I interviewed with a year ago and didn’t get, and I signed an offer letter to begin work within the month. 

To say I’m happy with the way things look right now is an understatement. The world still terrifies me, but I have no choice but to carve out a sliver of its beautiful experiences for myself, and I am doing just that. It may not be perfection, but it’s pretty damn good and I’m going to do everything in my power to keep it that way and make it even better. I am living my ancestors' wildest dreams!!

for anyone reading who might be struggling right now to make things work, I hope you hold on to hope that it can get better. A beautiful life is possible even on this hell scape, even for the marginalized.

[techramonic]

Speak, Hear, and See No Evil; Embody it.

An Essay Analysis on Religious Trauma and its connection to Nihilism through the Case Study of Vladislav Roslyakov

There is a profound intersection in faith and mentality. To uncover one’s whole being, the aspect of spirituality is well within the equation. While many use their faith as a symbol of fortitude, a steadfast hope that guides their way of living – creating practically a coherent path in a world so inconsistent and unpredictable, others see it as the pinpoint of their internal turmoil. Faith is not for all of us. If one rejects the idea of seeking solace in an institute of collective belief, then they do not believe in such a concept as “being saved”. To them, there is no redemption, only pain. 

Some people need a rather tangible and physical form of revelation for an adherence of recognition. It is the ideology: when you look up at the sky and do not see anyone looking back at you, that is when you know it’s not for you. You do not believe in such a thing as self-sacrifice, for you only see the world in a lens of self-slaughter. Often, this strained relationship with faith becomes Religious Trauma. 

Psychotherapist Dr. Alyson M. Stone acknowledges a positive link between religion and mental health but notes a lack of studies on spirituality's impact. According to Stone, “Religious trauma is more prevalent than the research suggests and often is a contributing factor to many of the problems that bring people to therapy, including depression, anxiety, and relationship difficulties. For this reason, religious trauma deserves careful attention” (Stone 2013, p. 324). Furthermore, Marlene Winell (2012) coined "religious trauma syndrome" (RTS) to describe the distress from "toxic theology." This refers to authoritarian religious doctrines demanding strict adherence, often equating disobedience to damnation.

In the case of Vlad, his mother was a Jehovah's Witness. This religious sect is banned under Russian law despite an estimated 175,000 followers in the country. In 2017, Russia’s Supreme Court found the organization guilty of inciting religious hatred by "propagating the exclusivity and supremacy" of their beliefs. Subsequent to  Russian anti-extremism laws extending to non-violent groups in 2007, placing it into the same category as neo-Nazis and members of al Qaeda.

To understand this, we must first look into Vladik’s childhood leading up to this point. Vlad’s father, a former Russian soldier who served in Afghanistan for several years, sustained brain damage from an assault, making him aggressive toward his family, leading to frequent physical abuse over his wife, parents, and even his son. He was also an alcoholic, where his violence would worsen when intoxicated. By the age of 10, his parents had filed for a divorce and he lived under the custody of his mother in a rundown apartment with poor conditions because they could not afford amenities.

Following this, his mother had renowned her faith. Neighbors described her as a devout follower who spent a lot of time in prayer. They recounted that she had barely any concern for Vlad due to being too focused on her faith, but there were many instances of her controlling nature towards her son’s life. According to Vlad’s profile background, his mother would frequently punish him for disobeying rules of her faith. Although he accompanies her in services, he does not recognize himself as a follower. He publicly expressed his contempt on Jehovah’s Witnesses as, “some kind of fools who dance and sing.” A friend of his had also expressed that the two would often make fun of the community. Despite these differences, Vlad still appeared to care for his  mother and understood that she had no other means of coping and did not have a community to interact with since she had no friends or relatives close by. With this, he made sure to spend time with her, yet we can discern that these regulatory rules are merely pushed unto him.

Vlad was not allowed to engage in hobby classes, amateur activities, or even watch movies as the faith forbids these activities. According to his VK chats with Liza Panchenko, his favorite movies were Stand by Me, Pulp-Fiction, and Lost Highway. However, he stated, “I didn’t watch any good movies after 2005”. Though this may be a speculation, one of the possible reasons for this is because he was forbidden by his mother. However, despite her warnings, it is clear that he still would go against her.

Vlad became sports-obsessed and developed an interest in weaponry, violence, neo-nazism, war, and killers. Despite occasionally picking up fights and being placed on the “chair of shame” by his college director, Vlad was reserved and withdrawn from others. His friends had described him as a loner, who was quiet and avoided making friends, rather talking about topics of violence, especially about Columbine. He had no intimate relationships or sense of future and practically only attended school because he was forced by his parents. He did not see any future and saw no escape other than death. Even with an interest in violence and guns himself, he expresses a disdain towards joining occupations like the armed forces.

Moving forward, it is crucial to recognize that the psychological distress caused by religious trauma can manifest into Nihilistic ideology. According to Alfred Alder, a psychoanalyst who founded individual psychology, human behavior is motivated by our unique experiences and the perceptions we garner off of these. To him, humans are driven by goals and we aim for superiority by striving for these goals which are molded by our values and aspirations. These in turn develop into a lifestyle that affects us in different aspects of our behavior.

Furthermore, Alder speculated that psychological development occurs when people pursue meaningful goals, though factors can disrupt this process. Exchanging the feeling of self-superiority with inferiority and emptiness. When one lacks any meaningful goal, they are devoid of any means to stay motivated because they have no inherent cause that may allow them to “live”. 

From a nihilistic perspective, the absence of inherent meaning in existence can lead individuals to view life as a mere distraction. You exist, yet you do not truly live—merely passing time because life feels more like an obligation than a will. This allows you to fade into a concept and lose touch with your humanity. You become a mere entity in this world so vast that it cannot accompany the hatred you bear for it because you are insignificant. You see yourself as nothing, born out of your lack of purpose, therefore you are nothing.

To tie this into the conversation, trauma and abuse can disrupt the process of finding and garnering purpose, hindering the creation of goals and instead, promoting nihilistic attitudes. This includes religion, which can either be an antidote or a poison. 

Religious trauma can be a  catalyst for promoting nihilistic thinking. Taking Vlad as an example, when individuals are subjected to oppressive religious doctrines that instill shame, fear, and guilt – it can lead to an inflated sense of despair. This dread of being trapped in a system that dictates your worth and purpose fuels the tendencies to lean into nihilistic ideologies. You are cornered with no escape despite religion itself being a form of solace and escapism made for believers to feel less in despair. Vlad's strict upbringing in a religious environment and controlling mother contributed to his growing resentment towards religion and humanity itself. This lack of free will over his beliefs and choices only amplified this sense of dread over being powerless. Further alienating him from others because he believes that no one will truly help him, not even God.

If God is not there to help and save him and there are no means of a divine intervention in his life, then he will be the intervention himself. He is the destruction the world has insistently brought upon his life in the form of unforeseen circumstances. He is the “judgment” that he has been taught to fear. He is the delusion that he has created because of his fixation over power. He is hatred. He shall not speak of evil, nor hear it, or see it. So, in turn, he is the embodiment of the evil he is taught to not be. 

Hatred, just like anger, does not come from evil but mistreatment. Though in this case, it is amplified to a point it becomes visceral. Vlad's constant exposure to religious extremism and the trauma he endured further deepened his nihilistic perspective and in turn, developed his trauma into a projection of an image of hatred over things he cannot control: his life and the people around him. Moreover, the trauma from his father's abuse and his mother’s overbearing nature only developed a deep-rooted cynicism towards conventional structures. In his belief, if he is controlled by anything but himself, it is evil.

To conclude, religion has a profound impact on an individual's psyche. It has the ability to either heal a person or destroy them completely. Vlad’s life is a perfect example of how one’s religious trauma can manifest into a distortion of their worldview, ultimately leading to them seeing no other escape in this miserable existence other than death.

[thesensteawitch]

A Message From Your Person 💝💌

Pick A Pile Reading

(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hello, Senstea Souls!

I hope you all are doing well. I am back with another collective reading. This reading will give you a glimpse about what's going on in your person's mind and heart.

For personal readings please DM me or email me at thesensteawitch@gmail.com

Pile 1

Tarot Cards- Three of pentacles, The magician, King of cups, Queen of Pentacles, Ace of Cups, Ten of Pentacles

Animal Spirit- Spider

Hello, my dear pile 1. This person is in love with you. Like REALLY. TRULY! Their efforts may seem a bit slow but they will be pacing up with time. They have this whole life planned or at least imagined with you. They love you with everything they have got. They try to keep a check on you. They see you as a stable and beautiful human being. They are trying their best to match your level. You are their home, their safe space. They too are trying to be yours. Just know that it will take some time for them to love you the way you deserve. To reach your standards they need to deal with their emotions first. But in the midst of everything they care about you. They need to come out of their comfort zone which they clearly know. Suffering and pain have somehow become comfortable for them but they know that you are their true calling. For you, they must come out of it. They feel overwhelmed when trying to communicate their emotions. Give them time and space. They have got so much to share and build with you but they are at a place from where they can only imagine and visualize a future with you. They are asking you to be patient with them. When the time is right Universe will clear all the blockages. Your person may be a workaholic. They need to set their priorities straight. For some of you I see that they are trying to make themselves financially stronger so that they can provide for you. They dream of a fulfilling and abundant life with you.

To know more about your situation book a reading with me.

Pile 2

Tarot Cards- King of Swords, 3 of Wands, King of Wands, Six of Pentacles, The World, Nine of Swords

Animal Spirit- Elk

Dear pile 2, currently your person is at a learning stage. They are learning some very significant lessons regarding relationships. The true meaning behind them. They are trying to understand what love truly means. They have searched for definitions from all around the globe. They may be spending a lot of time on the internet searching for the answers they need. They are generous and kind-hearted. They are trying to figure out how to begin this new journey with you and at the same time let go of the past hurts. Your person is charismatic. They may be magical. But they seem to be suffering some days. Their own mind plays tricks on them. As this year ends they will be out of their misery. Probably after the 21st of December, you'll see some positive change in their behavior. Somewhere deep down they love you. In the weirdest way, they are showing their love for you. But you can sense the hint of pain in their gestures. This pain will be over soon. Your person may also be suffering from health issues so they need to take care of themselves. They are letting you know that soon they will be able to spread love but before that, they must embody love within them. They are learning to detach themselves from their past relationship experiences. Sometimes it's a struggle and sometimes they sail smoothly. You need to give them time at least till January.

To know more about your situation book a reading with me.

Pile 3

Tarot Cards- Queen of Cups, Four of Swords, Judgement, Six of Wands, Eight of Swords, Temperance

Animal Spirit- Swan

My dear pile 3, your person wants you to know that it's okay to fall in love again. Don't hide yourself behind the walls. Don't give them excuses. Don't tell them that you can't do it for XYZ reasons. They know you have got so much love to give. They can see right through you. They know that deep down you can love someone again. To love them, perhaps again. They are asking you to come as your true self this time. Wake up and look in the mirror. Look what they see in you. Someone who is patient, loving, victorious, and who can handle transformation. Someone who is honest and doesn't give excuses. You're being too proud to show them your true side. They want you to drop your walls. Spend some time alone and assess your emotions. Ask yourself questions regarding this person. Sit in silence. You will receive the answers from within. If you or your person doesn't take a step towards each other then this bond can end very soon. Communication is needed. Pride needs to be set aside. They are afraid too of falling in love with you. But they are willing to give it a try. Think about it.

To know more about your situation book a reading with me.

Links:

Booking Form

My Rate Card

[theholypeanut]

KIYOSHI TEPPEI X SECOND CHANCES

Peanut Wheel of Fortune Event

Cw: 2,3k, hurt to comfort, angst, Kiyoshi getting hurt (as in knb plot), one curse word, gn!reader

Plot: Kiyoshi was your biggest love, but it’s not easy to date a person who will sacrifice themselves on every chance they got

Event Masterlist

Kyoshi Teppei was a perfect guy. 

When you met him at the beginning of your high school life, you couldn’t help but wonder if there was anyone who embodied Golden Retriever energy better than he did. He was so nice to everyone, energetic, polite, and well-mannered, and he simply shined everywhere he went. You couldn’t believe how that happened, that one rainy day he confessed to you, with this bright smile, a tiny blush, while rubbing his nape from embarrassment. You could guess he asked at least three different people for their good luck before talking to you. Of course, you liked him too, how could you not? It was Kiyoshi Teppei. 

The first month of our relationship felt like a dream. He was Prince Charming, the greenest flag, the person who, on hearing you say you were thirsty, would run to the shop to get three of your favourite drinks and a soup just in case and sprint back before you even noticed. He always put you first and talked to you for hours, and your family loved him too. You cheered him on at every game and you became friends with his team, it all felt like the high school romance manga of your dreams. Until it started to fall apart.

Kiyoshi not only put you first, but he put everyone first. He was the most selfless person you knew. When Seirin started to get far in Inter-High elimination, he was the one working the hardest and sacrificing the most. It didn't surprise you that you spent less time together as a result: you couldn't be angry, and you'd support him no matter what. Or so you thought. Kiyoshi would never talk to you and tell you what was wrong, but you noticed a change in his behaviour at some point when his shine was no longer so bright. You noticed micro-expressions on his face like he was in pain - but whenever you asked him about it, he'd brush it off and tell you everything was fine.

Your dates became less frequent, but you were okay with that. Having a boyfriend with big dreams wasn't going to be easy. And then the Kirisaki Daiichi match happened. 

At this point, you already noticed that Teppei was overworking himself. He always put everyone first without looking back - that was what you loved and hated about him at the same time. But when you saw him get hurt during the match, it broke your heart. The whole scene looked awful and you had to cover your mouth in case you were going to throw up. The match was stopped and everything was chaotic. You barely remember anything until you got to the hospital. You wanted to be there for him, to support Kiyoshi in his worst moments. But your final straw was when he refused surgery because otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to play basketball in high school. 

You yelled at him to the point that the nurse asked you to leave. You cried and just told him you won't take it anymore. You refused to just stand there and watch him kill himself for basketball. He didn't say anything.

And that's how your relationship with Kiyoshi Teppei ended. 

People always say that your first love rarely is the last one. You wouldn’t know - even after some time had passed and you hadn't talked to Kiyoshi since the break-up, you couldn't imagine dating someone else. You were partly grateful that he was in hospital for so long and that you didn't have to see him, because deep down you knew that if he asked you to come back, you'd do it in a heartbeat. Your friends stayed by your side, telling you that you deserved to be with someone who didn't put basketball ahead of his health and, well, you. But as the year went on, you couldn't help but wonder if you'd ever loved someone as much as you loved him.

The graduation passed and you still didn’t even see him in the school. At first, you were angry, but as time went on you had to fight the temptation to call him and ask how he was. You avoided his friends from the team till graduation, but it was eating you from the inside how you couldn’t even catch a glimpse of him at school. Graduation of the first year, spring holidays, beginning of the new year. No sight. No call, no message. You were going through all stages of grief. You heard rumours about the basketball team being amazing again, without Kiyoshi. „Good for them” you replied to your friends when someone tried to break the news to you as a kind of small talk. Everyone around you knew not to mention basketball anymore. At that point, it almost felt like it was basketball that took away your first love.

But deep down, you were rooting for Seirin. How could you not? This team was built with your lover's sweat, tears and blood. But it made you sad that he was not here to contribute to its success. Until Kiyoshi showed up for the winter semester. And instead of feeling relieved that he was well, you were angry again. When he didn't even find a second to write you a single message for a year, you kind of wished he had a good reason: not that he'd just come back to school, all bright and shiny like before, without a proper explanation. Or has he moved on?

You wouldn’t know, and to be fair, you didn’t want to know. Because the idea that Kiyoshi simply moved on, because it was not as important to him as it was to you was as painful to you, as getting hurt during the match was to Teppei. So you decided to ignore him. Pretend that you never crossed paths. Sometimes it was less painful than seeing him behave like nothing had happened and that you had never been together.

You didn’t come to any games, you didn’t want to listen to the exciting news about how Seirin had a realistic chance of winning this time. Until one day, out of nowhere, you got a message from an unknown number. 

You hadn't really blocked Kiyoshi the year before, because he never really tried to contact you. But one day, a month after you broke up, your best friend invited you over for a sleepover, you had two beers together, and after being influenced, you deleted his number and all his messages. But you knew his number by heart, so when it popped up on your screen, your heart skipped a beat.

„If we win this game, please let’s talk” it’s all it said. Of course, that was so Teppei. He was at the school for almost four months and needs a fucking game to schedule when he will talk to you. You didn’t answer. There weren't enough words in the vocabulary to describe how angry and sad you were, and you didn't want to be the salty ex who wrote him an angry essay and made him lose a game.

But it happened: Seirin won. And just out of curiosity, you actually watched the game this time. You couldn't get rid of the painful feeling in your chest when you knew how much it had cost Teppei to achieve all this. On the one hand, you were relieved that he finally made it, but on the other hand, you couldn't deny the sadness. You never replied to that text, partly out of fear: you didn't really know what to expect from him anymore: it had been a year since you broke up, what was there to say? You felt stupid for never really moving on, but life went on without you. And maybe Kiyoshi too.

Days after the game, you stayed longer at school, stuck with your class responsibilities. It was quiet and the evening sun was glowing through the window, as you stapled the notes teacher asked you to bring after classes. Just as you finished, the classroom door opened abruptly. "A perfect student as always?" You heard a familiar voice and felt a shiver run down your spine. "Stop making fun of me, I've never been a perfect student anyway" you replied, slightly annoyed. This was so him: trying to make up for the year of ghosting with a friendly joke. "You never replied to my text. Did you change your number?" He ignored your answer and asked without further small talk. You avoid his eyes as you reply, avoiding the question: "Congratulations on your win, Kiyoshi."

Your tone was neutral, cold. The worst part was, it’s not like you hated him. How could you? But the wound was too deep to just fall into his arms like in a cheap romance novel. You heard his footsteps as he came closer, sitting on the table right next to you. „I’m so sorry.” You heard his full of regret voice. „I don’t even know where to start with all of the things I should apologise for. But what you need to know is that for all this time I could never stop thinking how I want to make it up to you.” He stopped for a second, and continued, hesitantly: „All I want to know, is if you… still love me enough, to give me a second chance. Or love me at all.”

You smiled, to his surprise. You finally looked at him, for the first time since he had entered the room. "How is it that after all this time you still know exactly what I want to hear?" He smiled back, but before he could say anything, you continued in a serious tone: "Why didn't you say anything for a year?" This was no time to beat around the bush - no amount of sweet words would change the fact that he had simply let you go and only returned when he had achieved his goal. No matter how you look at it, it seems that you were never his priority, only basketball.

Kiyoshi felt slightly intimidated by your straightforwardness, but sent you one of his branded bright smiles. 

"You know, that's one of the things I've always loved about you: you're the most honest person I've ever met. I still remember you yelling at me in the hospital. I have thought about your words ever since." He paused for a moment, looking down at his huge, calloused hands. "At first it took me a long time to process what had happened. Can you imagine that the whole time I was in hospital, I didn't believe it was over? I just refused to believe it. All the time I just believed that we would talk it out and it would be the same. Every day I rehearsed in my head my apology when you'd walk through the hospital door like you used to. But you never did. It seems so silly now, but all the time I thought that if I wrote to you, the break-up would be real. It wasn't. I think I only realised it when I came back to school and you refused to look at me. I don't think I've ever felt so empty in my life. Not even Hanamiya's foul came close to that pain. But I didn't want to just come crawling back to you and repeat the exact same pattern as last year. I did not want to... disappoint you like that again."

After you heard him pause, you couldn't help but wonder if there was any way you could have resolved this sooner, by communicating. You looked at his face attentively. "But now… I guess after we won with Hanamiya… All I could think about was how much I want us to be together again. It is embarrassing to admit how much I missed your voice. Even if you'll just scold me. But at least" he hesitated, and you noticed a tiny blush on his cheeks, "at least I had the courage to finally ask you if there was any chance that you felt the same way." His face became even more red as he quickly added: "I heard from Riko that you don't go out with anyone, if you do, I'm so sorry for saying such things."

You looked at him, still stunned by everything you'd just heard, and you couldn't help but think that Kiyoshi Teppei really is a perfect guy. No matter how much you wanted to hate him right now, to scream at him for all the time he hadn't reached out to you, you felt the anger just go away by looking at his face, all red, and his beautiful eyes trying to avoid your gaze out of embarrassment and fear that he might have said all those things to a taken person. How could you be so angry with him? You moved slowly towards him and rested your forehead on his chest. He was surprised by the sudden touch, but didn't move. 

"You're so stupid" you said as you grabbed his shirt. You waited a second to not let him notice that your voice was cracking. "Promise me you'll never do anything like that again? I never want to hear you put basketball before your health again." You couldn't see his face, but he sighed and put his hand on your head. 

„I promise” he said with the most gentle voice. 

You know what they say, that love is not enough for a relationship to survive. But this time you really think it will be enough to fuel both of you to work it out and grow together so that you'll never break up again.

Bonus:

[talonabraxas]

The Caduceus: Hermes Symbol of Harmony and Awakening

Hermes and the Caduceus

The Caduceus is primarily associated with Hermes Trismegistus, the Greek god known for being a messenger, guide of souls, and protector of merchants, shepherds, gamblers, liars, and thieves.

The symbol consists of a short rod entwined by two serpents and topped with a pair of wings, embodying the diverse and dynamic attributes of Hermes.

According to myth, the Caduceus originated in a specific episode involving Hermes.

One day, while traveling, Hermes came across two serpents entangled in a violent conflict. The serpents, locked in battle, were a symbol of discord and chaos. Observing their strife, Hermes sought to bring peace between them.

With a simple, yet profound gesture, he threw his rod between them as a mediator would step into a conflict.

The serpents, rather than continuing their fight, wrapped themselves around the rod in a double helix formation and their fighting ceased.

This act not only separated them but transformed their aggression into a dynamic balance, creating a new symbol of harmony and equilibrium.

The wings at the top of the rod signify the divine nature of the intervention and the elevation of the solution from earthly disputes to heavenly peace.

This transformative moment in mythology conveys deep symbolic meanings.

The serpents, traditionally symbols of wisdom, renewal, and healing due to their ability to shed their skin and renew themselves, here represent the dual forces of nature and life.

Their harmonious entanglement around the rod, which itself symbolizes authority and control, visually captures the balance between these forces.

This depiction illustrates the principle that through wise intervention and diplomatic action, balance and harmony can be achieved, transforming destructive energy into a constructive outcome.

The Caduceus carries layers of symbolism that delve into the nature of duality, healing, and transformation.

The two serpents coiled around a central staff encapsulate a visual depiction of balance and union of opposites, a theme prevalent in many philosophical and spiritual teachings.

Integration of Opposing Forces

The dual serpents of the Caduceus, spiraling around the central staff, visually signify the integration of opposing forces, a concept pivotal in many philosophical systems.

This integration is not merely a passive coexistence but an active unification that leads to greater wholeness and stability.

In many cultures, serpents are seen as embodying opposites — being both earth-bound and capable of transcendental knowledge.

Their union around the staff symbolizes the potential for reconciling such differences to foster unity and peace.

Symbol of Mediation and Peace

Hermes, wielding the Caduceus, guides the chaotic forces represented by the serpents towards reconciliation and unity.

Thus, the Caduceus symbolizes the transformation of conflict into peace and order, embodying the potential for wise intervention to harmonize opposing forces.

This portrayal of Hermes as a divine mediator illustrates how the Caduceus serves as a powerful emblem of peace, skillfully bridging gaps and mending rifts, whether in mythological tales or spiritual symbolism.

Balance and Equilibrium

In a broader spiritual and psychological context, the Caduceus mirrors the internal journey towards achieving personal equilibrium.

The intertwining snakes can be interpreted as the balancing of various aspects of one’s nature — rational and emotional, physical and spiritual.

This balance is crucial for personal growth and health, reflecting the adage that true healing and well-being are holistic processes that reconcile and align different facets of the self.

Transformation and Renewal

Serpents are also symbols of transformation and renewal, widely recognized for their ability to shed their skin and emerge anew.

This aspect of the serpent imagery within the Caduceus resonates with the concept of healing and medicine, where recovery and renewal are central themes.

The cyclic renewal of serpents provides a powerful metaphor for the medical process itself — the shedding of ill health to reveal wellness, the transformation of disease into healing.

Ascension and Divine Connection

The wings atop the Caduceus elevate its symbolism from earthly to divine, representing ascension, spiritual awakening, and the connection between the earthly and celestial realms.

In mythology, Hermes uses his winged sandals and helmet to traverse freely between the divine and mortal worlds, and similarly, the wings on the Caduceus suggest a bridging of gaps — between health and sickness, earth and sky, human and divine.

This aspect emphasizes the spiritual dimension of healing, suggesting that health is not only a physical state but also involves spiritual well-being and alignment.

The Caduceus as a Medical Symbol

The Caduceus is widely recognized today as a symbol of medicine, particularly in the United States.

This association began in the late 19th and early 20th centuries when military medical organizations adopted the Caduceus as part of their insignia.

The choice was influenced by its mistaken confusion with the Rod of Asclepius, the traditional Greek symbol for healing and medicine, which features only one snake and no wings.

The Caduceus’s adoption in medicine was largely due to its decorative symmetry and historical prestige, not its original symbolic meanings.

Caduceus Symbol, Rod of Asclepius, Doctor Symbol Art

[ezekiel-krishna]

Jupiter in Taurus ♉ Transit 2024 (Part 1)

💰💎Luck ,Abundance ,Fortune & Spirituality

{Vedic Astrology}[From May 2024 - May 2025]

In General for All Ascendant

Under the celestial guidance of Jupiter's aspiration for progress and Taurus' resilient and determined character, motivating us to have confidence in the process and achieve a concrete, substantial level of success.

Life can be exceptionally prosperous when Jupiter transits through Taurus. Jupiter signifies good fortune and prosperity, while Taurus embodies wealth and financial stability. When these cosmic forces combine harmoniously, the possibilities for significant monetary rewards are endless.

⇝ Your Guide to Check Your Placement (Vedic Astrology)

1st Step ⇨ Go to Vedic Astrology Calculator

2nd Step ➚ Enter Your Birth Info & Press { Calculate Sidereal Chart }

3rd Step ⇨ Find Your Rising Sign.

"Example here , this sign belong to Taurus "

Remember This is a General Analysis , Whole Chart is to be Considered for Accurate Personalized Predictions.

For Paid Personalized Analysis & Reviews ➤ Check Here

Masterlist ➤ Check Here

Aries ♈

During this phase, Jupiter will be moving into your second house and will have an impact on your sixth, eighth, and tenth houses. For Aries individuals, Jupiter governs the twelfth house which is associated with expenses, losses, spirituality, and also the ninth house representing Dharma, luck, religion, gurus, teachers, and your father.

This particular phase brings positive energy for your career growth and success. You can expect great opportunities for advancement, growth, and an increase in your status. However, it is important to keep your ego in check and avoid imposing your opinions on others unless they seek your advice.

In terms of finances, this transit is favorable for accumulating wealth and experiencing financial gains. Your savings are likely to grow during this time. Nevertheless, it is worth noting that Rahu (North Node) is positioned in your twelfth house of expenses. This may tempt you to spend excessively, so it is crucial to be mindful of your spending habits and resist the urge to overspend. Throughout this transit, luck is on your side, so take proactive steps to boost your income and add to your savings.

During this period, Aries Ascendent Singles have a high chance of finding love and possibly getting married. For married couples looking to expand their family, this is a favorable time. Family dynamics will see growth and expansion, with your communication becoming more mature. Respect from family members will also be abundant.Be cautious with loans and debts during this time, as the temptation for large purchases may arise. It's advisable to think carefully before taking on any financial commitments. This is also a good time to pay off any existing debts.

This Transit presents an opportunity to excel in competitive tasks, but effort is required. Health issues can be resolved with proper medical advice. You may find yourself drawn to religion and spirituality, which can be beneficial. Engaging in spiritual practices like yoga or meditation is recommended. Manage your relationships with father figures, coaches, and teachers, and avoid letting ego disrupt these connections.

Taurus ♉

Get ready for a major transformation, Taurus! With Jupiter moving into your 1st house, it will have a powerful influence on your 5th, 7th, and 9th houses. Jupiter rules over your eighth house, which signifies sudden changes and personal transformation, as well as your 11th house, which represents financial gains, wishes, desires, and your social network. This transit will bring about a complete personality change, making you wiser, more mature, and thoughtful.

You may notice a newfound sense of happiness and tranquility in your physical being. It's possible that you might even experience some weight gains, so be prepared for various changes in your mental, emotional, and physical state. Don't be surprised if you develop a preference for the color yellow, which is associated with Jupiter.

Financially, Jupiter will expand your resources, prompting you to focus on your financial planning. It's a great time to seek out the best investment opportunities and increase your savings for future stability. Additionally, you will acquire a wealth of wisdom and education, earning you respect from others who may even seek your advice and guidance.

If you're currently single, this is an incredibly powerful time for you to find a potential partner and even take the next step towards engagement or marriage. The placement of Jupiter in your chart is highly favorable for these kinds of life-changing events, including starting a family or welcoming a new member into your existing one. Additionally, some of you may have the opportunity to embark on journeys for spiritual, religious, or educational purposes. I strongly encourage you to seize these opportunities as they can bring long-term benefits and immense happiness. So go ahead and embrace the adventure of travel!

For students, this period holds great promise for academic success and pursuing higher education. It's a time when you'll truly shine in your studies and have the chance to expand your social and professional networks. By meeting new people, you'll forge lasting friendships that will enrich your life for years to come. So make the most of this positive phase by stepping out of your comfort zone, connecting with others, and expanding your circle of contacts.

Furthermore, this is a period where your influence on others can be truly impactful. However, it's important to avoid overconfidence and the belief that you already know everything. Instead, embrace a mindset of openness and willingness to learn from others. The more you educate yourself and absorb knowledge during this transit, the greater the benefits you'll reap in the long run. So stay curious, listen attentively, and let this be a time of personal growth and development.

Gemini ♊

For those with Gemini Ascendant, Jupiter will be moving through your 12th house, casting its influence on your fourth, sixth, and eighth houses. Jupiter governs your seventh and tenth houses, which are associated with partnerships, marriage, business, and your career. With Jupiter's transit, the focus shifts towards your career, business ventures, and material desires. During this year, many of you may consider relocating, either to a distant place or even a foreign country. This period also indicates the possibility of purchasing or investing in real estate. If you or your spouse are planning to change jobs or professions that involve working with foreign companies or in foreign countries, this is an incredibly favorable time to do so.

The desire to start your own business may be strong during this period, as the urge to make investments will be high. However, it's important to note that expenses may also be significant. These expenses could be related to travel, health, religious activities, investments, or even the purchase of real estate or vehicles. As Jupiter moves through this transitional phase, you may find yourself becoming more spiritually inclined. Some of you may even seek out a spiritual guru to deepen your understanding of religion and spirituality. You might also make changes in your living space, incorporating religious or spiritual items such as pictures, books, or other related objects to enhance your connection to the divine during this period.

It is crucial to maintain peaceful relationships and avoid conflicts with others, especially because the transit of Ketu in your 4th house may disrupt your mental peace due to domestic issues and concerns related to your home or real estate matters. However, with Jupiter now influencing your 4th house, you can expect improvements in your domestic situation, leading to a reduction in stress. Nevertheless, it is important to prioritize your health as there may be unexpected or hidden health issues that could arise. Consider scheduling a general checkup to ensure your well-being.

To support your overall well-being, focus on maintaining a healthy diet and incorporating exercise into your routine. Activities like light yoga, walking, running, or going to the gym can be beneficial. Keep in mind that this period may involve higher expenses, but it will also provide valuable lessons on investing wisely and growing your savings. Use this transit as an opportunity to enhance your financial knowledge and secure your future.

Cancer ♋

Jupiter's transit in your 11th house brings forth a promising time for Cancer. Its influence extends to your second, fifth, and seventh houses, impacting various aspects of your life. Notably, Jupiter governs your sixth and ninth houses, representing health, finances, and spirituality. With Jupiter's entry into Taurus, a fortunate period commences for you. Any previous disputes or conflicts may find resolution in a harmonious manner. Moreover, health issues that plagued you before will now begin to heal and recover. This phase holds immense potential for your income and career growth, with some of you witnessing a long-awaited increase in both financial status and earnings.

Opportunities for job promotions are also on the horizon, and if you're seeking new employment, this is an exceptionally favorable time to secure a well-paying position. Like other rising signs, those in relationships will find this period highly conducive to tying the knot. Additionally, your wisdom and insight will earn you the admiration and respect of your friends and colleagues. It's even possible that you may be entrusted with a training role within your job. Embrace this transformative phase and make the most of the positive energy surrounding you.

If you work in the fields of Health Care, financial planning, Investments, Education, Spirituality, or religion, you are in for a prosperous time ahead. There will be numerous opportunities that can bring you substantial financial gains. For students, this phase is particularly advantageous in terms of academic performance and competitive exams. Your relationship with your siblings will also flourish, and they may seek your advice, which will earn you respect.

Married individuals can expect improvements in their spouse's health, resolving any existing issues and bringing happiness to their marital life.

Overall, this transit is highly favorable for your income and financial situation, allowing you to increase your savings. This long-awaited transit will finally bring relief from past sufferings caused by the recent Saturn transit.

Stay Tuned for Part 2..

[themainspoon]

One thing I haven't seen anybody else mention about Dr. Hillary Cass's whole "transition success should be judged by employment success, getting 'out of the house', marriage, and sex life, not happiness" thing is that it's a textbook example of biopower and biopolitical discourse. And I think it's important to be able to take apart what she's doing. Cass is not breaking new ground in the field of transphobia here, she's parroting some of the beliefs that have been causing issues for trans people for decades now. She's doing biopolitics.

This is Foucault theory so I'm giving a very abridged version here: Biopower is power over bodies. As Foucault writes in Vol 1 of the History of Sexuality: Power is no longer about having ultimate dominion over death, but instead about being able to control life itself. In Biopower, power has more than just the threat of death, it has access to our bodies and lives as well. When combined with the concept of the medical gaze, it can be said that medicine is no longer a body of techniques for curing illnesses, but is now an institution with the ability to define "health" and "normality".

In biopolitics, the body becomes a political object, and various technologies, political strategies, and diciplinary techniques operate upon bodies through various institutions in order to shape them and integrate them into society. Ultimately, what is defined as the healthy and valuable body is seen as necessary for the society/nation to thrive. The ideal body is the body of the "ideal citizen", one who fits definitions of "normality".

Within biopower, the purpose of trans healthcare is not to affirm gender or improve the lives of trans individuals. Instead, it is to create "healthy", "productive", "docile", and "normative" bodies that adhere with both the gender binary and understandings of the ideal citizen.

The criteria that Cass states that she thinks the success of transition should be judged by (employment, social involvement, and ability and willingness to participate within heteronormative relationship dynamics) is a list of things expected of "ideal citizens".

In the view of individuals like Cass, who funtion within biomedical discourses, transition isn't about allowing trans people to modify their bodies in ways that bring them joy, better embody their identities, and/or that allow them to feel more like themselves. Transition is instead purely about correcting percived dysfunction, to allow those percived by them as dysfunctional men and women to be transformed into normative, unproblematic, binary adhering, and productive women and men. Options like being non-binary, or using this transition technology to change your body in ways that do not align with medical understandings of binary transition, are seen as invalid, as they create disruption and non-normativity as opposed to 'curing' or 'treating' those things.

Therefore, for people like Cass it only makes sense that the success of transition would be judged by the ability of trans people to adhere to dominant gender norms, productivity, and overall normallity, as opposed to things unrelated to understandings of what "the ideal citizen" is. Y'know, things like happiness, joy, the ability to feel like oneself, etc.

One last point, and this is partially speculation on my part: But I think this is why the fact that trans people face discrimination that makes things like remaining employed and being in healthy relationships much more difficult is ignored by people like Cass. These forms of discrimination are seen as the result of the individuals failure to properly perform and embody "normality". Transphobia is therefore not percived as the fault of a patriarchal cisheteronormative society and culture, but instead a failure of the trans individual and the practice of medical transition.

If it wasn't clear, I think Dr Cass is a hack and that the discourses that inform her positions on trans health issues are not only incorrect, but also act to perpetuate bigotry and social inequality. Fuck Dr Cass, Trans Liberation Now.

[igotanidea]

Shelter: J.T x fem!reader

graphic by the most wonderful @3-minnnn

***

Sure, she was perfectly capable of handling herself and her shit.

Sure, she did not need a man to push through.

But the thought of having someone she could count on was…. nice. Comforting. Restorative.

Jason, the hypocrite embodied, constantly kept reminding her that she didn’t have to carry the weight of the world on her shoulder. That he was there for her.

Damn, he made it his mission to keep her happy, healthy, content, free of any worries.

With the littlest gestures, most of which she didn’t even notice, but which still were there.

And she appreciated all of them.

But falling apart in front of him, leaning on him, in the literal meaning of the word was something she never did.  Tears, sadness and tiredness were something she was trying to shield him from, knowing well enough he was fighting his own demons and darkness.  

Until now.

It has been a week filled with stress, exhaustion and it was definitely showing in her health. Poor girl felt like throwing up and got dizzy way too often, nerves and anxiety dripping from every pore in her skin making her feel like running away, hiding and crying her heart away. She just felt completely powerless and moving from the bathroom to the bedroom was grueling. One day when she got back from work at like 5 p.m. she just drifted off completely, falling asleep and waking up 3 hours later only to change into her pajamas and keep on sleeping. Barely holding back from crying due to the whirlwind of emotions.

She woke up at 7 a.m. the next morning in Jason’s arms, her confused brain barely registering what happened and what day it was. But her subconscious and her body knew the familiar touch and gentle caresses on her back and sides. It was just so good and right to have Jace there. To let  him hold her, to feel the warmth of his embrace and the rise and fall of his chest, his slightly ragged breath. Without any words, just with a single whimper and quietest whine she snuggled closer to him, searching for that shelter his arms gave her.

So safe.

So taken care of.

He was everything she needed.

She knew he would keep the whole world at bay and far away from her if that was what she needed.  

“Keep on sleeping, princess.” he muttered, tightening the grip on her “you don’t need to worry about a thing. I am here. I’ll take care of you. Just rest.” Jason kissed the top of her head and at that moment she just wished to stay like this forever. Wrapped in the cocoon of his affection and attention like a baby without feeling weak or clingy.

Just being loved.

And it was enough.    

[suchawrathfullamb]

How To Get:

The Monster's Beloved Aura

Energetic configurations series where we explore the astrological and numerological components of various "vibes".

For this analysis I looked into the birth date of Winona Ryder (and two bonus actresses) who has played several roles as the "monster's beloved", revealing an archetypal pattern.

Winona has 21/3 as her Expression number, and 30/3 as Life Path, and 15/6 as Soul Urge. This of course shows us a prominence of the number 3 on her configurations (6 being its multiple).

Number 3, being 2+1 stands for the duality of god, or the division of unity, relationship/mirror, and number 3 is the expression of that relationship: when one divides into two and from that union, a third element is born. Number 3, then, symbolizes creativity as well, being the expression.

Arcane number 3 is The Empress, the card of penetration into matter, she is the verb, the ternary, nature, fecundity, and generation in the three worlds.

Three also carries a special role as mother, father, holy spirit, or yin, yang and wholeness.

Having 21 as her Expression, gives her the aura (how she is perceived on the unconscious level) of the combined energies of The World, High Priestess, Magician, generating The Empress. Meaning, Mother of ecstasy. The one who elevates the spirit. For The 21th Arcane is The World: Joy, recognition, wealth. Represents the feminine element. It is the crowning of the work. The absolute integrity. Therefore, when it reduces to 3, Empress, who is The Verb, it manifests as someone who embodies on a physical, carnal level, what The World symbolizes.

The Monster seeks to have its spirit elevated by her, to find the ecstasy he has lost in the process of becoming a monster. The connection to his soul, the bliss of the senses, and love in its purest form (love of the goddess/mother archetype).

And by having 30/3 as Life Path, it emphasizes her spiritual role as The Mother, the one who blesses. Zero here symbolizes the Universe (⭕️), the void, the vacuity that holds all potential, and it speaks to the path of Creation, of fecundating the void and creating something out of nothing. Soul Urge as 15/6 manifests in her romantic roles as the lover of the monster, as 6 is The Lovers and 15 is The Devil, creating, literally, "union with the monster".

The Monsters, in this case, are always powerful individuals who were casted into the shadows, and who crave the love that has been neglected for them, and in a less direct way in Beetlejuice, as a means into the physical realm, but still fitting the pattern of the desire for life (given by the mother).

And, in many of these, she does love or accept the monster, expressing the unconditionality of Love, but also manifesting Arcane 15, The Devil, which craves that which is carnal and seen as devious. Which makes sense as The Urge number, where we magnetize that which our soul urges/craves for.

By embodying this energy, as a spiritual practice, one is able to transform death into life (that which is lifeless gains vitality), and elevate/sublimate decay into abundance (that which is deteriorating is restored).

You can embody it by chanting the mantra Shrim.

Shrim is the seed mantra of Lakshmi, the Goddess of prosperity and abundance, and the consort of Lord Vishnu, the preserver in the Hindu trinity of great Gods, and brings Lakshmi’s many blessings.

Shrim is the mantra of faith, devotion, refuge and surrender. It can be used to take refuge in or express devotion to any deity, helping us to gain its favor and grace.

Shrim is mainly a Kapha (watery and earthy) mantra for improving health, happiness, fertility, love and calmness of mind. It is particularly important for women’s health and brings proper function and circulation to the female reproductive system. Shrim has a soothing effect on the mind and emotions, allowing us to surrender to Divine grace and take refuge in the higher powers.

If you want to embody through a more theatrical approach, you can role play this type of energy by emulating its style.

As I've mentioned before, the bonus actresses are Isabelle Adjani and Emmy Rossum, who played the same archetype in Nosferatu and Phantom of the Opera, respectively.

Here are some of the repeating patterns in terms of aesthetics:

- The color white, in gowns specially, as it is associated with a state of purity (not virginity, purity as in unaltered). Which then, progressively changes into black and red, mirroring the alchemical processes represented by the three colors.

- Flowy fabrics that denote the sensuality and daintiness.

- Natural looking hair that call to a kind of organic vibe.

- Minimal but enhancing makeup. It particularly enhances the eyes (magnetism) and the lips (consumption, temptation), and also goes for a more pale (not as in white but as in "bloodless") complexion with only the cheeks as the colored areas (as opposed to tons of contour and bronzer, for example), marking the heated energy of sexual arousal but still remaining dainty.

[eternalfrowning]

Hi!! So I've been following your blog since middle school and it's TG days, and now I'm in university for art and you've always been one my biggest art inspirations and muse! So I know this sounds crazy and maybe jealousy-filled and envious, but sometimes I feel like I can never ever reach your level? Like aside from the technical aspects, the way you have mastery over your style, approach to color, "soul" that embodies your art... There's something in it that makes you feel emotion.

Meanwhile I feel like a robot who can only draw and paint technically well, but my art doesn't inspire feelings. It's always the same things with no variation and I'm always scared of getting out of the box and being truly free. Like I'm simply not creative. It's just that no matter how much I improve in art, I feel like it means nothing at the end at all because there's these hard limits regarding creativity set upon me. Even in university, my classmates have so many creative designs but nothing ever comes up in my mind. Do you ever feel like that? How do you get over it?

Hello Anon ! I'll begin by saying thank you so much for your message, and for trusting me with your words and raw feelings about your art journey ; i hope i can be a good listener here, and help you a little..!! im honored my blog has been a part of your path for so long, and still be a place you like today.

(It's a pretty long reply so i cut here!)

Now, to reply directly to your last questions: yes ! I do/did feel like this ! And the 'how to get over it' has no clear answer, it's a personal one, but all these feelings are natural i think, but not absolute, it goes away, it comes back, it becomes minuscule.

It's interesting because what you describe liking about my drawings, are things that is/used to be such difficulty for me, and such fears !! Colors are still a real struggle, and, i'm opening my heart here, because you were kind enough to open yours, i'm always deeply scared my drawing doesn't say anything, i fear it holds no soul, i worry it makes the viewer feel nothing. It's always something in the back of my mind. And i feel no expertise in my techniques! So your enjoyment about my drawings is a very pleasant surprise to me, and a tiny slap in the back of my skull that says : 'chill sometimes!!!! it's okay, you're doing great!!' , and, i hope i won't sound impolite, i'm saying this with tenderness, but maybe that's what you need to hear too !! So i'm saying it to you Anon ! You speak of yourself very harshly, with like a severe sentence over your head that tells you what you're capable of or not, a sword of Damocles awaiting to strike and stop your body from drawing. It's too mean and wrong. Take good care of yourself, it is you who matters most! I had a terribly shitty time in art school, i don't know how is your university, but i hope it's not making you feel bad, i hope it doesn't crush day by day your relationship with your art and with your self. The way you kindly describe your enjoyment about my drawings over the years, and the way you're serious about what you do and what you'd like to do, tells that it is deep to you, that it is something you hold dear ; if i can keep on giving advices here, i think maybe connect again to that, your enjoyment; you like drawing ! Also, i probably just heard one single interesting thing in art school, but it helped : '…it's just line on paper.' At that time, i was having a nervous breakdown in the classroom, the teacher was flabbergasted, and blurted out that to me. I was working on a large format and my mental health was IN THE GUTTER, i felt my life was on the line with every little buildings i was drawing, my whole body was trembling ! But, between very unrespectful and crazy statements, here she was right. We can be serious about what we do, and still remember that it's just lines on paper, pixels on screen. We can go back to it tomorrow, we can erase all of it, it's okay. It doesn't matter as much as us waking up, drinking a good glass of water, drawing a smiley on our skin to cheer us up!

More precisely about what you said about creativity, i had the same feelings in art school, i thought my classmates were so much smarter and creative ! And they ARE brilliant, i met wonderful brains there !! We talked together about how i felt behind, and for example my friend was surprised because they were really admirative about my drawing ! The confusion was mutual haha ! I still feel inadequate sometimes, but we all have our own aspirations and interests, and it's actually so much fun to share, have mutual inspirations, together. Did you talk with classmates you trust about your struggles ? You would be surprised!! It's interesting to hear what other people have to say ! Do you think they feel nothing when looking at your drawings ? Did they say it to you ? Or is it something you believe in the back of your mind only ? And even if they did say something like this to you, did they provide fertile feedbacks ? Also, the fact that art inspires feelings or not, or the fear i talked about earlier that haunts me sometimes..i think we can agree it's so subjective!! Something you love, something you want to cherish all day and keep below your pillow because it makes you feel so much and strongly, can be a complete 'whatever' to someone else aha, and it's just like this, and it's the very same 'something', it's okay, it's good like this actually!

Creativity, from what i understand, is a difficult thing to define and characterize, honestly. But i'd say, while there is this tiny spark of indefiniteness inside a process, the little squeeze in the chest where you feel you're getting something coming up, the bubbly things you want to process and tell in your drawing, it's not all there is to creativity in my opinion! These 'ideas' can be fuel or the sparks in your drawing motor yes, but creativity is most importantly the choices you make ! You said you have technical skills, and improving, and it's this technicality that can guide! A lot of artists think of themselves more as crafter, or even 'robot' sometimes ! It's automatisms over automatisms, choice over choice over choice, to get something as close as possible as the goals we had in mind, as close as what we like or imagine or need. Be rigid! there's nothing wrong with it.

That being said, you mentioned that you're drawing the same things. In what sense ? If you portray the same subjects and you're not happy with it, it could be good to change subjects, draw whatever !! Your interest will spark in space you wouldn't imagine ! And, if it doesn't, coming back to what you know with other things done will revive old flames.

What seems to hold you back is fear (and deep fatigue if i can add this, i'm serious take care of you). We know how much seriousness and love we pour into drawing, it's personal, but it's not a reflection of our self in absolute, it doesnt say anything about you, your value, what you can or can't do. For real, the limits most of the time are on the technical side, and it seems you have this covered, i trust you to ease your brain into trying new things for you, trying things again with an unserious mind also, look at how fun your brush hitting the canvas is, mix mediums, or don't haha! And, if it's difficult to do it 'mindlessly,' once again it's about choices ; 'i deciced the light should hit there because it's the main subject', 'i decided this color meant /thing/ that's why it's there', 'i decided the lines should be thicker because it's a reference to /this/ and it made sense to', You can be very free inside your own box, truly ! You will expand your world without realizing it! I hope i make sense, and didn't say too many stupid things. I talked a lot once again, and a lot about me ouargh but since you asked about my experience, i hope it's okay, and that you can find some points useful to you. For now that's what i can give !

I'll finish all this by saying thank you again, and wishing you all the best in your path, in whatever form it takes. Don't hesitate to contact me again if you feel like it, or to talk about it with classmates and people you trust, and take a step back when needed. You got this!!!

<3