#who knows how long it will take

[twotales]

Jump

Chapter One: Lifeline

Read on AO3

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Characters: Radek Zelenka, Rodney McKay, John Sheppard, Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagan, Chuck, Evan Lorne, Laura Cadman, Sam Carter, Bill Lee, More to add

Rating: T

Word Count: 1612

Tags: AU - Canon Divergence, Episode Rewrite

Note: I've labeled locations because of what happens in the actual episode. I may drop it after this chapter.

Summary:

Rodney swallowed thickly. They were dead in the water here. But this plan- Maybe it was too drastic. Too crazy.

No.

He steeled his resolve. This was their only viable option. "That-” Rodney pointed at the screen, “that would be the Replicator homeworld.”

Rodney turned toward them as hope bloomed over his face.

“You feel up to a heist?”

Location: Atlantis Gate Room

Oh. Of course. Rodney grinned inwardly as he snapped his fingers and turned toward John and Radek. “Experimental jumper." He looked between them. "Remember when I was zapped by that machine a few months ago, and I got, uh-” he flashed a smirk, “well, even smarter than I normally am?”

The corner of John’s mouth twitched up, “The one that almost killed you?” he shifted, “Yeah.”

Rodney waved his hand. “Well, before I was reset, I was very close to giving one of our puddle jumpers a hyperdrive.”

“Can you finish it?”

“Yeah!” He gulped and looked off to the side. “Yes, I probably can.”

John nodded. “All right, great. We-we'll make a jump to the Apollo. Tell them where we are.”

Rodney wagged a finger, “No.”

John’s face morphed in confusion. “Why no?”

“The jumper's hyperdrive would be limited,” Radek said. He shook his head and looked apologetic. “We wouldn't be able to jump that far.”

“How far then?” John said.

Rodney glanced at Radek a million thoughts flashing between them.

“What do you think,” Radek squinted, “like, two?”

Rodney rubbed his fingers together, “Yeah,” he leaned his head side to side, “two and change, maybe?”

Radek started typing on his computer, “Conservatively, maybe two thousand light years.” He sighed and pressed a few buttons, “This is a list of addresses that are within range.” Radek stood as the screen zoomed in on a map of planets with Stargates.

John nodded, “All right, we'll make a bunch of trips and ferry the crew to one of the planets.”

Rodney pointed a finger at him. “Again, no.”

“Why not?”

Rodney shifted around, “Well, the drive's never been tested.”

Radek nodded sadly. “Yeah, we'd be lucky if we get two jumps.” His lips compressed into a line.

“Well, we'll make a return trip somewhere,” John said.

Rodney stared at the map as an insane idea formed. “Yeah, ideally, somewhere with a few ZPMs to spare.” He waved his hand, “We come back, we get Atlantis fully powered.”

“Yeah," John made a face, "that'd be great.”

Rodney stared at Radek. Knowing the second the man picked up on his plan.

“M7R-227.” Radek said lowly.

John glanced between them, “What's that?”

Radek looked uncomfortable. “Well-”

John’s eyes locked onto Rodney. “There's a planet out there with ZPMs?”

The excitement drowned out his fear. “Yeah…yeah, we know they have a few ZPMs.”

John looked skeptical. “And who would that be?”

Rodney swallowed thickly. They were dead in the water here. But this plan- Maybe it was too drastic. Too crazy.

No.

He steeled his resolve. This was their only viable option. "That-” Rodney pointed at the screen, “that would be the Replicator homeworld.”

Rodney turned toward them as hope bloomed over his face.

“You feel up to a heist?”

-

Location: M74-277 | Jumper | ZPM

“Aren't they going to notice when we pull the plug on this thing?” John said over the radio.

Rodney gulped. “Probably, but they've got dozens of ZPMs. Let's just hope that they don't-” his heart seized as he waved his hand, “notice until we're long gone.”

“That's wishful thinking,” John said. Rodney grimaced at the words. “We still in the clear?” He added.

Elizabeth leaned forward. “There's a small group of Replicators two corridors over, heading your way, so you need to move quickly,”

Rodney looked over the data on the screen. His eyes widened. Oh wow, that would be-

“We're on our way."

“ Wait,” Rodney said, "Just wait.”

“What?”

“There is a side panel on your right. Open it.”

“Rodney, we don’t really have the time for-”

“Just trust me on this one.” Rodney snapped. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, the look enough to chastise him.

“Woah,” John said.

Rodney perked up. "What?”

“I think you’re going to like this.”

What was probably minutes felt like eons as they waited for John and Ronon to come back. Relief rushed through him as they stepped into sight. Confusion flashed as John dropped three cases in front of him and Elizabeth. “Hook up the ZPM. We're leaving.”

Rodney opened one and inhaled sharply. His mouth fluttered. They had ripped out the foam, nothing to protect them in the case, and normally he would be losing his damn mind about it if it weren't for the treasure filling it.

He looked up at John. “Really?” He breathed.

John flashed a cocky grin. “Happy Birthday Rodney.”

-

Location: M74-277 | Jumper | Escape

John tilted his head back at Rodney from the pilot seat. "How's hyperspace looking?"

Rodney stood back up, knees creaking. "Not good. Look, harnessing power from the ZPM is tricky." He waved his hand in the air, " If I'm off even just the slightest amount, then we could all—"

"Two ships headed our way," John cut in as two Aurora battle cruisers appeared.

Rodney grabbed the cables above as the jumper rocked from a blast. Fuck. There was no way he could finish in time.

“Rodney?!" John called.

"Look, I need more time!" Rodney held tight to the ZPM as more explosions rocked the jumper.

"We just lost weapons!" John shot back.

Rodney wiped the sweat off his forehead. “Dammit,” he typed furiously on his datapad.

“Come on, McKay!” Ronon barked.

Rodney’s eyes snapped up. “This is not simple, you know!" His hand cut in the air, "If I don't properly calibrate the power output, we could incinerate the moment the hyperspace window opens!” Rodney clenched his teeth in irritation.

“I'm picking up something dead ahead,” John said squinting his eyes.

Rodney froze at the sight of a jumper uncloaking directly in front of them.

“Oh, crap," John said and looked back at Rodney. "They're powering up weapons!”

John started adjusting the settings on the console as Rodney typed faster. His eyes flashed around before he jammed a crystal into the ship. He inhaled sharply as he watched the results running over his datapad. “I did it, it’s done.” Rodney stood up his hands in the air, “go go go.”

John immediately opened a hyperspace window and rushed them through.

-

Location: Atlantis Jumper Bay

Rodney grabbed one of the cases and hurried out of the Jumper the second they landed.

Radek hobbled up to him, waving his datapad. “There is an anomaly near the west pier, power was being sent directly there, and we couldn't stop it.

“What!?” Rodney grabbed Radek’s datapad.

Radek pointed at the dot, “We won’t have enough power.”

"Power?" Rodney flashed a lopsided grin, pushed the datapad back to Radek, and opened up the case. “Oh, we'll have enough power and then some after we install these babies.” A collective gasp spread as Rodney pulled multiple ZPMs out of it.

"I know, I know," Rodney twirled his unoccupied hand. "Amazing, wonderful, thank fucking god, yes." He thrust one into Chuck's hands and snapped his fingers, "Now, come on people, we have two aurora class ships headed our way, no time for a celebration, let's go!”

Everyone scrambled as Rodney passed them out, rushing to install them. He handed one to Radek, understanding the excitement plastered to his face despite the situation. They had spent years searching for these, fought for them, lost good people for them, and now they were stocked full.

Hope spread through him. They would have all the power they needed soon. He sighed. Now, they just had to finish before the replicators came.

Great.

-

Location: Atlantis

Radek groaned as the output remained the same. He threw a wrench and stood, moving his leg slowly.

The anomaly.

He pulled out his datapad and studied the blueprints of Atlantis as he headed back to the gate room. He had hoped he was wrong. That the anomaly had not affected this area. He had already come up with a contingency, but the idea was risky. He tilted his head. Although, he supposed it was less risky than stealing from the replicators.

Rodney was already barking orders and kicking a tech off his computer as he arrived in the gate room. “The conduits are all fried.”

Radek sat down near the man, hissing as pain shot through his leg.

Teyla arched a brow, “But we do have power.”

Rodney sighed heavily, “It doesn’t matter if the power can’t get to the engine.”

“The anomaly in section E12,” Radek reminded, “it was draining Atlantis and disrupting key areas.” He held his palm up, “It's why the power isn’t getting to the hyperdrive.”

“Dammit,” Rodney tightened his fists, “compatible parts are scarce.”

Radek looked back down at the blueprints. “Rodney,” he held up his datapad and pointed, “what do you think of this?”

Rodney’s eyes widened. He nodded as his gaze locked onto Radek's. “We would have to-”

Radek nodded back, “I already have a team of techs ready to dismantle-

“Good, then we need to work-”

“On the algorithms for power convergence, yes, yes”.

Rodney tilted his head. “Then we’ll need to divert the hyperspace power conduits to that section of the ship.” He pointed at a few techs. and scientists. “Cannabalize the crystals in non-essential areas.” He frowned, “we may need to use parts from the sublight engines." He snapped his fingers, "Get a group set up and ready to go just in case." Those techs nodded and rushed away.

“And the anomaly?” Radek asked.

“The anomaly is at-” Rodney looked at the screen, “point two percent as opposed to the sixty-two it extruded an hour ago. It's minimal compared to the replicators on our tail. Let's deal with it later.”

Rodney looked at Chuck, "Watch the anomaly and keep me updated."

Chuck nodded as Rodney and Radek split up, the rest of the room bursting into action.

[goatsandgangsters]

how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant. every single post, every single time. in chronological order starting with the most recent post. note: it will not find #croissants or that time you made the typo #croidnssants. for a tag with multiple words, it’s just /tagged/my-croissant and it will show you everything with the exact phrase #my croissant

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant/chrono will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the exact phrase #croissant, but it will show them in reverse order with the oldest first 

url.tumblr.com/search/croissant isn’t as perfect at finding everything, but it’s generally loads better than the search on mobile. it will find a good array of posts that have the word croissant in them somewhere. could be in the body of the post (op captioned it “look at my croissant”) or in the tags (#man I want a croissant). it won’t necessarily find EVERYTHING like /tagged/ does, but I find it’s still more reliable than search on mobile. you can sometimes even find posts by a specific user by searching their url. also, unlike whatever random assortment tumblr mobile pulls up, it will still show them in a more logically chronological order

url.tumblr.com/day/2020/11/05 will show you every post on the blog from november 5th, 2020, in case you’re taking a break from croissants to look for destiel election memes 

url.tumblr.com/archive/ is search paradise. easily go to a particular month and see all posts as thumbnails! search by post type! search by tags but as thumbnails now

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio will show you every audio post on your blog (you can also filter by other post types). sometimes a little imperfect if you’re looking for a video when the op embedded the video in a text post instead of posting as a video post, etc

url.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/croissant will show you EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant, but it will show you them in the archive thumbnail view divided by months. very useful if you’re looking for a specific picture of a croissant that was reblogged 6 months ago and want to be able to scan for it quickly 

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio/tagged/croissant will show you every audio post tagged with the specific phrase #croissant (you can also filter by photo or text instead, because I don’t know why you have audio posts tagged croissant) 

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims) 

[dogesterone]

>acquaintance mentions that they think a kink is immoral

>ask them if their judgment is based on material reality or constructed disgust

>they don't understand |pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is material reality and what is constructed disgust

>they laugh and say "its a reasonable judgement"

>interact with them a little bit more

>its constructed disgust

[bowelfly]

gone fishin'

[inkskinned]

i hate to say it because i'm neurodivergent and a chronic-pain-haver but like... sometimes stuff is going to be hard and that's okay.

it's okay if you don't understand something the first few times it's explained to you. it's okay if you have to google every word in a sentence. it's okay if you need to spend a few hours learning the context behind a complicated situation. it's okay if you need to read something, think about it, and then come back to re-read it.

i get it. giving up is easier, and we are all broken down and also broke as hell. nobody has the time, nobody has the fucking energy. that is how they win, though. that is why you feel this way. it is so much easier, and that is why you must resist the impetus to shut down. fight through the desire you've been taught to "tl;dr".

embrace when a book is confusing for you. accept not all media will be transparent and glittery and in the genre you love. question why you need everything to be lily-white and soft. i get it. i also sometimes choose the escapism, the fantasy-romance. there's no shame in that. but every day i still try to make myself think about something, to actually process and challenge myself. it is hard, often, because of my neurodivergence. but i fight that urge, because i think it's fucking important.

especially right now. the more they convince you not to think, the easier it will be to feed you misinformation. the more we accept a message without criticism, the more power they will have over that message. the more you choose convenience, the more they will make propaganda convenient to you.

[oh-gh0st]

i heart these rivals so much. maybe they'll kill each other. maybe they'll kiss. maybe they'll make ou

[flamingpudding]

Guys it's just merch

Danny watched with a smile hidden behind his mug of hot cocoa his new family. Originally he was only going to mess with them a little, since he wanted to keep his civilian live he gained with them but at the same time wanted to kind of provoke them to tell him about their night time jobs on their own.

Not like he could just flat out tell them he knew about their vigilantes lifes and that would be embarrassing to explain.

It's not every day that Danny's powers fluked on him, but with the stress of the past months, it happened. Right at a moment, he had to be clumsy and trip over his own feet and accidentally phased through a grandfather's clock, finding a hidden passage. Well at least he learned that way that Batman hadn't placed him with some other rich fruitloop that wasn't his godfather but well... with Batman himself and his family out of mask.

Yeah no, he did not want to explain that and hoped they would do that themselves. But apparently, they took Danny's statement of wanting a normal life a bit too serious.

Which brought him back to his current entertainment in the form of messing with his siblings.

"I don't get what the problem is guys. It's just merch." He chuckled slightly at the face Damian was making. While Jason chose to kick Tim under the table.

"Soooo how much merch on Red Robin do you have with this shirt now?" Dick asked instead with a bright smile, Danny still hadn't figured out how to tell what emotion he hid behind them sometimes.

"I think this is my third shirt of him." Danny mused, placing his cup back on the table and tapping his lip in a thinking motion. "Though I was going to pick up a couple of custom-made jackets of Red Hood and a Nightwing plush later today."

He acted like he did not hear the triumph like hiss of 'yes' from Jason as well as the very upset huff of Damian.

He just grinned at the amusement about how they apparently were competing over how much merch he owned of each of them.

When he found a Robin figure and several Robin pins mysteriously placed on his desk the next morning, he broke out laughing. Yet still just to mess with them gushed about his newly gotten merch to his family while sharing a knowing look with Alfred who knew he was just messing with them.

If there was a surprising amount of Batman merch, suddenly mixed into what he already owned the following week without his knowledge. Well, he wasn't going to complain about free stuff.

But he still would get a good laugh out of their reactions on the day he decided to full on dawn every piece of Batman merge instead of theirs.

[podcastwizard]

Cock and balls at 20k king?

one like and i'll post shaft

[clownowo]

🤨

bonus:

[justaz]

a spell is cast on camelot that thins the veil enough for ghosts to appear. the catch? the ghosts that appear are spirits of people that were killed by the person they’re haunting. the knights have a good amount of bandits/raiders/whatever that they took down in battle, maybe a few shady knights have genuinely innocent people that they murdered and got away with. the executioner’s killings are transferred to the king since he was simply acting out the king’s commands. arthur has quite a few. uther has hundreds of sorcerers in various states of gore and horror. those who were hanged have perpetually bent necks, those who were beheaded have either no head or just a head floating a bit above their body, and those who were burnt are more charred remains (the most grisly of them all). merlin has more than anyone expected (which was zero) and all of them keep calling out for arthur/uther’s death and camelot’s downfall while also turning to merlin and calling him a traitor.

[kizzer55555]

Welcome to the Restraint! (Restaurant)

Imagine Danny runs to Gotham and starts squatting in an abandoned old building in Crime Alley. Slowly putting some ecto into the place to claim it as his haunt (while recovering from the sudden loss of his old one). And he does the normal stuff to survive. Finds some odd jobs, often as a messenger, and is just surviving. Another thing he does is make his own food. It’s cheaper than takeout and he’s gotten pretty good at cooking (out of necessity instead of eating sentient hotdogs). Then he ends up accidentally taking in some street kids. Or more like they follow him home. He can’t just turn them away so he makes a meal for them and lets them stay the night then sends them on their way. And then it happens again. And again. And ok, so maybe he saved a girl from getting molested. And that older guy from getting his only good blanket stolen. And sure, maybe letting that poor pizza delivery guy rant was unnecessary but he looked like he was having a bad day ok? Pretty sure that kid with the scar is a meta too but…he needed a place to stay a few nights alright? It’s not like any of them stay permanently. Danny’s started picking up a few more odd jobs to pay for all the extra food he’s had to buy. Always keeping his place stocked. At least he doesn’t have to pay for water and a fridge, he just makes some ice (or melts it). Sure the water is cold, but it’s probbaly the cleanest water in Gotham. And then some of the people start paying. Like…actually paying in exchange for food. Not sure if it’s because of guilt or pity but Danny won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. And with all the money, he hasn’t had to take as many dangerous jobs. Soon, his little abandoned apartment became what’s essentially the closest thing to a legitimate restaurant in Crime Alley.

It didn’t look normal. The chairs and tables were more like old couches and stools pulled up to coffee tables and cabinets turned on their side. Although with the bulling becoming more like Danny’s haunt, the walls naturally started repairing themselves so at least it didn’t look like it was gonna collapse anymore. And ok…so Danny might have rescued a few feral kids who…weirdly have gold eyes. And possibly stopped a meta trafficking ring on accident. And look, these people didn’t have anywhere to go! And the apartment did have empty rooms. It was already known as a place someone could crash for the night (last winter the entire place was cramped with people. Danny had to break up multiple fights but they usually calmed down when he got there.)

One benefit from controlling a haunt is controlling the temperature inside so it was one of the only buildings with ‘heat’. But back to his…strays. So yeah…most didn’t seem like they could rejoin society…so he let them stay. And…they kind of became employees? Impromptu bodyguards? (Some of the golden eyed people almost felt like he was rangling feral ghosts again.) they came in all ages. A few kids, lots of teens, and a few adults. Same with the metas he rescued. They mostly helped deliver food to costumers. They even got a phone line working and could take orders. (Although the new…employees…also got more protective whenever a fight broke out.) With all the extra money he’s been getting he was even able to afford some medical supplies. A lot of his customers(?) came in injured and he tried his best to patch them up but now he could do more than tie some ripped clothing around the wound and use ice to numb it. He’s got bandages. And pain killers. Plus other medical stuff. He can even give someone stickers now! All that experience as an injured vigilante was paying off. Even Villains and goons start attending this place. The place was unofficially designated as one of the Alley’s ‘safe zones’ where no fighting takes place inside (the body guards make sure of it.) the metas and Talons are getting an identity for themselves, the street kids even get a job and a hideout, random people can go there for help or to pass messages, this place provides food, shelter, and medical care. No one wants it going down.

So yeah, welcome to the restaurant!

(I’m debating whether I want this to be the weirdest restaurant/safe place/truce area in the alley, or whether I want Danny to accidentally become a crime lord. Possibly both.)

Also, this place is called the Restraint because I keep misspelling Restaurant and I think Danny would do the same so the name stuck. (Or one of the kids spelled it when making a sign or passing around messages to spread the word of this safe place.)

So anyways, to add some angst, after Danny adopts a bunch of crime alley kids/villains they find out about Danny’s powers and that he’s a ghost, only they don’t know about Halfas so they think Danny is fully dead and this super kind guy who has been the only person to ever treat them like people…died. He died likely a long time ago and there’s nothing any of them can do to change that.

(And if the GIW dare to come into the alley, they better be prepared for the entire place to turn on them.)

[yesterdayiwrote]

Robbie Williams' open letter to his former manager after they both appeared in Louis Theroux's Boybands Forever documentary is really quite something...

[badninken]

let's go

[ideas-ideasideasideas]

Headcanon that instead of signing his threats Red Hood uses semicolons liberally (and correctly) because nobody up to their eyeballs in crime in his part of Gotham uses semicolons. ‘Don’t even try to run; I know all of your hideouts’ is a Certified Red Hood Threat. ‘I’m always watching; every minute every second’ is someone impersonating Red Hood.

[otaku553]

Haha

[crows-of-buckets]

Au where Carver, instead of fleeing Ostagar, ends up with the hero of Fereldan, and follows them around to help stop the blight. He eventually ends up at Amaranthine, and becomes a full warden alongside all the others. He becomes kinda friends with Anders (I think he would be a bit less of an ass to pre justice anders) and somehow the two end up leaving for Kirkwall together.

Hawke walks into the clinic looking for grey warden maps and runs into their baby brother they thought was dead. He's just chilling in the sewer clinic like it's a normal thing to be doing.