#you can decide how the next morning goes! i support either

[stevebabey]

pre-steddie (its rly scratching the itch atm), steve harrington being a sad drunk :(, angst with a happy ending, 1.4k

If you asked him how it transpired, Eddie couldn’t tell you — but somehow, there’s a drunk Steve Harrington on the Munson’s couch.

Physically, he’d hazard a guess Steve walked all the way from whatever party he’d been at. Which is a concern in itself��either Steve wandered through the woods or he wandered quite some way, but that’s a whole other can of worms.

The why of why Steve’s here—why he chose to sought out Eddie in particular—is another mystery altogether.

If Eddie had to guess, he’d say somewhere between the commonality of crashing at each other’s place to keep the nightmares at bay and a night of drinking is how Steve ended up here.

It’s nearing midnight the clock tells him, blinking red from the microwave. Steve’s holding a glass of water that he’s sipped from only once.

And he’s sad.

Considering it, Eddie hadn’t thought Steve would be a sad drunk. Especially if you consider the sheer amount of parties he threw as a teenager.

It just doesn’t quite fit into his ever changing picture of Steve Harrington. Like a puzzle piece the wrong shape that doesn’t fit with the rest. Happy drunk? Horny drunk? Those made better sense than this.

But then again, Eddie stopped trying to make sense of Steve a couple months after the Vecna-episode of their lives.

(It’s sort of something he really likes about Steve, that he can’t ever really pin him down — that he’s always surprising Eddie.)

Either way, the fact remains that Steve is drunk and Steve is sad.

Eddie just doesn’t know about what.

“C’mon,” Eddie nudges the glass in Steve’s hand gently, the second time tonight. “Gotta drink up, Stevie, lest you risk the wrath of tomorrow’s hangover.”

Steve’s slumped sideways on the couch, not too drunk to be out of it, but evidently rather physically beat. He’s leaning his head up against the ratty leather of the couch, his eyes closed.

Eddie sits opposite him, enough distance to keep it friendly, but close enough to catch the glass if Steve suddenly decides he doesn’t feel like holding it anymore.

He wants to sit closer, wants to maybe even hold Steve’s hand. Cup his face and murmur sweet nothings until sad drunk Steve is replaced by someone happier.

Eddie swallows the desire down, away.

By all accounts, there’s nothing Steve’s said or done to give away his sadness. Eddie only knows he’s sad from that slight downturn of his mouth — the slight jut of his lip. The world’s most adorable pout if it wasn’t being caused for bad reasons, Eddie thinks.

He knows what it looks like because it’s what Steve looks like when he wakes from a nightmare. When he’s properly distressed, thrust to the verge of tears. Eddie knows the sight well. (And Steve knows his.)

On the couch beside him, Steve makes a little noise in response to the nudge. His eyes crease open.

He looks tired. It’s not the exhaustion that comes with terror, with having sleep chased from you, but… bone-deep tiredness.

Eddie’s lip part, unsure if it’s to urge Steve to drink some water again or just to ask what’s wrong when—

“No one wants it.�� Steve says, in the smallest voice. It’s barely a whisper.

Eddie’s brows draw together. The sadness in Steve’s words travel out, pushing an ache into his chest.

“Wants what?”

Steve is silent. He’s not looking at Eddie — he wasn’t before, but now his gaze is downcast, studying the glass in his hands. His finger traces the rim.

“Wants what, Steve?” Eddie tries again.

This time, Steve sighs and it looks like it takes the wind out of him completely. “My…”

There’s a crack in his voice. Steve clears his throat and closes his eyes again, this time scrunched up as if he’s resisting the emotion that tries to take over.

“My stupid love. Keep… keep tryna give it, but no one wants to take it.” He inhales jaggedly, turning an inch and pressing further into the couch, like he’s hiding. His voice is muffled and wrecked. “No one wants it.”

Something splinters in Eddie’s chest, slivers of agony burying beneath his skin. He’s speechless.

How can Steve think that? How can he believe that?

“I do,” Eddie says, before realising what’s he’s saying.

Steve stiffens on the couch, tentatively digging his face out from hiding. His downturned eyes still have that warbling sadness and Eddie just needs to make it better — even if it means throwing his pathetic crush under the bus.

“Eddie-” Steve says, wary and tired all at once, as if he’s saying don’t do this, don’t lie to me.

“I do. It sounds lovely,” Eddie insists, completely truthful. “If you want someone to give it to, I’ll take it. I want it.”

Steve eyes him. Some of that melancholy in him has turned to apprehension. He sniffles a bit and sighs again.

“Not- not like that.” Steve murmurs, eyes falling back to the glass in his hands. He speaks with a lilt of embarrassment, as though he thinks it’s shameful to care this much. “Not as a friend, Eddie.”

A stone grows in Eddie’s throat. It’ll hurt like hell to swallow it, to speak, but Steve has always been worth it.

“I know,” Eddie breathes. He can’t quite keep all his nerves out of the words and they jam up in his mouth for a moment. “Not like that, Steve.”

He desperately wants to grab his own hair, to fiddle with it, release some tension, but he also doesn’t want to break the quiet softness between them.

The fridge hums in the silence. The clock on the microwave blinks back midnight.

Wishing hour? Maybe in some myths and stories. Eddie clings it anyway.

Steve’s hazel eyes are a little wider now. A little more awake. He’s picked his head up, no longer leaning against the couch cushions.

“You…”

Freak. Fag. Eddie’s brain helpfully supplies every awful way this could roll, entirely too late. He tenses up, shoulders curling in, a minuscule motion.

But Steve doesn’t look disgusted, he looks a little in disbelief.

“You… want it?” He asks, that same quiet whisper.

And that does a number of Eddie’s heart—the enormity of Steve’s disbelief that someone would want his love, that the rest of it—the semantics, the fact that boys can’t kiss boys—doesn’t even matter to him.

“Yeah,” Eddie croaks. He nods jerkily, the nerves still there, even with Steve’s easy acceptance. “I do. I’d love to have it.”

“Oh,” Steve says. He’s laid his head back down, his hair scrunched up against the leather, but his eyes are still on Eddie. Not scrutinising, just studying. There’s still that hazy look to them, no doubt the alcohol still in his veins.

“I never… didn’t think…” He’s murmuring more to himself. From the concentration of his gaze, he’s thinking hard. He sniffles again, nose twitching and then frowns, eyes cast to the side, before,

“Okay,” Steve says finally, voice quiet. “If you… if you mean it.”

Then he unfurls his hand, the one that had been tracing the glass, and puts it forward. Between them on the couch.

Eddie eyes it, stomach swooping, pulse thudding, and then does what he does best; throws caution to the wind. Steve might hate him tomorrow but tonight, Eddie won’t hide.

Their fingers slot together easily, two perfect puzzle pieces.

Eddie wonders if him in Steve’s life, him like this with Steve, is one of those things that would work—would make sense. If he wants to make sense with Steve or instead be another surprising thing about him.

(That Steve Harrington might like boys. Might like Eddie.)

Steve is gazing at their joined hands. For the first time since he got to Eddie’s trailer, his lips turn upward, a very small yet happy smile. He gives a very light squeeze with his hand, the lack of strength evidence of his sleepiness. Eddie squeezes back nonetheless.

Then Steve’s eyes are closed and in a few deep breathes, he’s out like a light.

It’s a careful process to extract the glass of water from Steve’s clenched hand, but Eddie manages it. It sits on the edge of the coffee table and when Steve wakes up, mouth dry and in need of water, it will be there.

And so will Eddie.

The burning possibilities of what happens come tomorrow—when Steve’s sober and actually thinking straight (ha)—filter through Eddie’s mind, but he can’t find it in himself.

There’s no regret of he’s done. What he’s said, what’s been revealed.

It’s tomorrow’s problem (or tomorrow’s fantasy come true…?), but til then, Eddie burrows into the couch and readies for a sore neck tomorrow morning.

He should really get up and turn the lamp off, Eddie thinks to himself. Then Steve snuffles in his sleep, uses their intertwined fingers to bring him closer, and he forgets all about it.

[merrybloomwrites]

One Direction - Health Scare

Summary: When the workload leads to a medical emergency, the boys are there to take care of you.

Word Count: 941

CW: seizure, hospitals

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Being in One Direction is a dream come true.

It’s also the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life. The work is incredibly fun, but also extremely grueling. You have expectations on you for every waking minute. There’s hardly time for a break or rest.

When you do sleep, it’s often on a bus, and never quite as restful as you hope. 

Halfway through the current tour, you begin to really feel the exhaustion. Not only are you and the boys doing a show nearly every day, but you’re also recording the next album. On the rare occasions when you have a night in a hotel, you’re often woken up to re-record something.

You can tell you’re not the only one who is getting run down, but you also feel like the boys are handling it better than you are. 

So you keep quiet, not wanting to complain to them when they all have their own stuff going on as well.

What you don’t know is how they’ve noticed how drained you are, and have talked amongst them about it. They’re worried, but they have no clue how to help. So they try to take care of you in subtle ways.

Liam is always making sure you have water or some sort of power drink, reminding you how important it is to stay hydrated.

Niall gets you food any time he grabs some for himself. He’d noticed you would skip meals on occasion and decided he couldn’t allow that on his watch.

Zayn asks you to meditate with him, saying that he does better with a partner. You don’t realize that he often does this when you’re most stressed, and he really wants to get you to take a minute to breathe. 

Louis gets into shenanigans, making you laugh and reminding you that not everything needs to be serious all the time. 

Harry asks you to hang on the couch with him on the rare times you get breaks. He’ll wrap an arm around you and tell a story. Sometimes you sit and listen, sometimes you take a power nap. Either way he’s happy to help you get some rest whenever possible.

But all of that isn’t enough. There’s something going on in your body that no one can see. You start to get dizzy, and these spells become more frequent.

Each of the boys have caught you more than once at this point, always helping you sit down to make sure you don’t get hurt. Their worry heightens every time this happens.

And then things get worse.

It’s early morning, and you had yet another fitful night of sleep on the bus. You head to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, and find Harry and Liam already there. They wish you a good morning, and you go to say the same, but find yourself unable to form words. That’s when your world goes dark.

Harry rushes to break your fall, and notices this isn’t like the other dizzy spells. Before he gets you safely to the ground you begin to shake in his arms.

“Oh my god,” Liam says. “She’s having a seizure. Get her on her side, quickly!” The two of them move you, cushioning your head and making sure there’s nothing nearby you can hit as you continue to have convulsions. 

The other three boys rush into the kitchen, having heard Liam shouting. 

“What the hell is going on?” Louis asks.

Liam is quick to explain, saying, “She’s having a seizure. Louis, call an ambulance, Niall call management and tell them what’s going on. Zayn get the driver to pull over.” They all do as they’re told while Harry continues to support you. After nearly two minutes, the seizing stops, but you’re still quite out of it. 

You don’t fully come to for a while, and by that point you’re in the hospital, Harry by your side and security standing by the door. 

“Hey there,” Harry says. “How are you feeling?”

“Uhm, okay I think?” you reply. “What happened?” 

“You had a seizure. Scared the shit out of us,” he answers with a chuckle, letting you know he’s not actually mad.

“Sorry about that.”

“Hey, don’t apologize. We just want to figure out what’s going on with you and help you get better, okay?”

Before you can answer, a doctor walks in. She introduces herself and asks you a bunch of questions. When she asks if you know where you are you reply, “Unfair question, I never know where I am.” Your cheeky reply let’s Harry know you’re feeling better, and you share a smile at the inside joke. 

After a full workup you’re discharged with orders to see a neurologist. The other boys are waiting, somewhat impatiently, for you to get back to them. You’re informed that the upcoming week of shows have been postponed so you can rest, and you know that the boys fought hard to make that happen. 

You spend the week in a hotel, and though you each have your own room, everyone piles into yours. They watch you for any signs that you’re about to have another seizure, and Liam goes with you to your neurologist appointment in order to fill the doctor in on everything that happened. 

You don’t have answers yet, but you find that you’re not worried. Not when you have the biggest support team there to take care of you. And though your job is hard, and at times overwhelming, you wouldn’t trade it for the world. Not when it led you to find the people who will be there for you, no matter what.

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AN: Hope you enjoyed the final One Direction ficlet! Full series and longer oneshots are coming soon!

[datesinredink]

Heyyy so maybe I'm insane but. Do NOT Take This Cat Home (which I'll shorten to Dnttch) yandere rottmnt au. Hmmm. I havent slept in 24 hours so I don't know how you would meet them but I do know that it would be very fun to think about how the weird eldritch horror/"OH NO THEY EAT PEOPLE" part would come into play.

Oh wait actually IDEA you could start off meeting one of the turtles (probably Mikey, he'd be most likely to stick around instead of eating you and convince you to take him home because he's so lost and hungry in this new place, couldn't you pleeaaase take pity on this poor turtle?) and then over time, since we know in the Dnttch universe, the cat multiplies in at least two ways (I, in fact have not seen all the endings yet), so the first turtle could gather the other three over time. One could be from a plushie in the pet shop or won at the carnival (prob Raph), the second could be from the movie theater (Leo, I think the hypnosis is weirdly fitting for him), and the final one... Wait. I'm not sure. THERES A LITTLE LIVE PETS TURTLE???? YEAH OK THATS FUNNY I'LL PUT IT IN.

Buuuuuuttttt after the four are all gathered and living in your house (despite your insistence that you couldn't possibly afford to support them. luckily, despite occasionally waking up and seeing one of them in the corner of your room drooling, they've never shown any need to eat) they've gotten a bit attached. They saw you as a possible meal, at first, then a convenient hiding place, but they seem to have found themselves getting attached. They decide that since you've helped them soo much, that they should at least return the favor before they decide to eat you(something you're frighteningly aware they've almost done- the still healing scar from the last time the red one visited your room) or leave.

Now, you feel constant eyes staring holes into your back, and your rude coworkers now either show up on the news with their bones picked almost clean or don't turn up at all. Now, sometimes they'll bring back one of their kills to share with you (after all, aren't you hungry? They've seen you eat, but surely it isn't filling enough to really sustain you- to them, that's why you seem so tired all the time). Since you always turn them down, maybe instead they'll just have you help them store the leftovers!

Raph, as they've taken to calling the biggest of them, eats more frequently than the others to sustain his growth, so there can sometimes be extras that the other three don't particularly want at the time. He even goes out of his way to help you with tearing and cutting apart the meat! It's almost sweet, if only for the weight of what exactly you're putting in Tupperware right now.

Leo gets more aggressive about your attention now, always begging you to play games or watch TV with him. Sometimes he's even fine with just reading comics in the same place, as long as he gets to hold onto you in some way. It's annoying at best in the morning when you have to go to work, but downright terrifying when his marks flare up late at night after you've just insisted for the 10th time that you're tired and don't want to deal with him. Usually, the threat of flickering blue light vaguely forming some kind of sword is enough to convince you otherwise.

Mikey tries his best to help you adjust to your new roommates! He knows how stressed out you are about work, you should tell him about it! He'll even take notes about how they can all brighten your day, so feel free to speak your mind about that horrible lady who yelled at you today. Was she your boss? A coworker? Maybe a customer who asked for the manager? He'll give you a warm hug and reassure you that everything will be ok, and that maybe you should teach him a new recipe from granny's cookbook tonight to take your mind off things! The scene you wake up to the next morning is Mikey humming to himself while the girl's flesh sizzles in the pan you let him borrow last night, Raph drooling over said slab of meat, as well as Donnie and Leo playing the most intense game of rock paper scissors (a game they're glad you taught them- how else would they make decisions) to decide who gets the first plate of food.

Donnie's always useful to have around, his fascination with human technology quickly being honed into electronic mastery. Despite his more reclusive nature, he's still gotten you out of many a pinch with malfunctioning devices, like when you sorrowfully cradled your old toaster in your arms on your way to trash it, only for him to take it from you and return it a couple days later fixed up like new. You appreciate his contributions, and though you're the beta tester for a multitude of his dangerous inventions, with the amount he does for you, it's hard to not feel like you owe him, especially when he himself openly agrees with that point. You just wish he'd give you a break from the explosions...

[whereserpentswalk]

You work with people from other dimensions for a living. While you can travel to other dimensions, it's much easier to just connect your computer to computers from other dimensions. You end up finding out about a lot of strange places, alternate earths where things are diffrent in ways you could never imagine. Most people don't even know other dimensions exist, but to you it all feels so normal, so very distant but so very normal.

Because the company that you work on interdimensional technology for needs to outsource some of its dimensional work you end up very quickly having to contact people from other dimensions with a similar skillset to you for one project. And since it's easy to contact them you end up talking to them afterwards.

There's this one girl you end up messaging a lot. She seems so nice and sweet. You talk a lot about programing, and mathematics and magic (which are all very closely connected fields), she's one of the only people who seems to really understand the beauty in it the way you do. She's obviously from a very diffrent culture, and you never sent eachother images, but you like eachother a lot.

You end up messaging this girl more and more. She's the first to comfort you when one of your freinds turned on you, she was the first to support you when you came out to your parents, even though she didn't fully know what coming out was. She messages you "I love you" in the mornings sometimes. And even though she's far away, further way than anything in the universe, you understand her so well. You've seen her art, drawings she's done of buildings and structures around where she lives, they're like nothing you've ever seen before.

You start to talk about being in a romantic relationship. It's hard but you decide it's what you should do, almost what you have to do. You want to be her girlfriend, you want to know how it feels to hug her, for her to rest her head on your breasts on a warm summer night, to be inside eachother, to touch in a way you don't get to touch. But you can still message eachother, it's just one small contact but it means so much. You want to move in with her, it might never happen but there's something inside of you that wants to wake up next to her every morning.

Eventually you decide to build a portal to eachother, so you can see eachother, and if all goes well, you'll actually move in. You both need to talk to a lot of people, and get help from a lot of programmers and spellcasters from several dimensions, but it's done. The money that was supposed to let you move into a bigger apartment ends up going to a doorway sized portal, stored one of the few buildings in the city that can store such things. You need to get a ticket to go, even though the portal is yourse it needs people to operate it. But you can go. And if all goes well, you'll live together.

When you get to her dimension the first thing you feel is fear. It's dark, you think your underground, only a few bioluminescent organisms light the way. The city you're in is wet, and cold yet humid, everything is made of either moist steel, or dark wood that's covered in some strange layer of material that feels like wet cardboard. The creatures here aren't human at all, they're all strange bug like and fish like beings.

You eventually go to your girlfriend's apartment. Afraid of what you'll see. It's completely dark inside, and decorated like no human would ever decorate anything. When you see your girlfriend for the first time the horror breaks the love you want to feel. Her body looks humanoid, though she's so thin you can see her ribs, and pale in a way only corpses are useally pale. Her face was almost pretty, but her eyes were one solid pinkish color, and her moulth was just a tiny hole, like a jawless fish, it couldn't move at all. And massive fleshy tentacles came from her back, four of them, with razor teeth at their ends, for chewing her food outside her body so that her tiny slit of a mouth can lap it up. You both just stand there, you realize that this is the girl you love, you realize you look as horrifying to her as she does to you. You begin to weep, and she doesn't understand what your eyes are doing.

You spend the night in her apartment. There's no way you're moving in together. You're not sure what this means. You don't want to look at her at first, but eventually you do. You realize if you have to go back to your world you do want to spend time with her. Your languages work so differently that you still need to use computers to talk to eachother, but you can talk to eachother. And you tell her that you're sorry, that you still want to be together.

You let her hug you, and comfort you, her body is so strange, but it becomes less scary when you fully realize that it's her your looking at, that that's who you've messaged all those nights. Despite her eyes and mouth her face is pretty, and though her body is much thinner then you expected she still moves gracefully. You let her touch you, every way she wanted to touch you, let her tentacles wrap around your body. She shows you her computer setup, and her favorite video games, and she even gets to introduce you to some of her freinds, and her little isopod like pet who really likes being pet by you. You can't help but feel uncomfortable in her dimension, but you feel safe with her, and despite everything you enjoy being held and touched by her. At the end of your stay you make love for the first time, you don't have the same genitals as her species, but you make it work. You fall asleep in her arms, and she would do the same to you, but her kind does not sleep.

When you go back home, because you do have to go back home, you don't tell many people, even people who know about dimensions, what happened where you went. But you still message her a lot, and when you can you visit her, and very rarely she'll visit you. Your mother would never approve, and no priest would marry you, but you can't help but fall into the feeling of her body next to yourse.

[anucalor]

Mutuals pt.2 (Onyankopon x Black! Reader)

haii! im so sorry for taking literally forever to post this. i was so ready to get back into writing, but i started taking my classes full time (which i passed（＾∇＾）) but now i am getting ready for state and with three jobs... its a lot lol. but im ready to try to get back into it!

i also have Kofi if you ever wanted to support in other ways!

anywho, here ya go!

y/n is a little shy. when she moves back home, her friend mika tries to get her out the house. what better way than to meet mutuals?

(w.c. 2.6k)

warnings: none, language (if any)

__________

It’s Thursday. 

Today shouldn’t hold so much weight, but it did. Besides being the beautiful day before a weekend, it’s the day before Ony and I go on our first date.  

I can’t help but think about it every now and then. Receiving his texts throughout the day doesn’t help either. I've realized he’s much more of a subtle flirt than I would have thought, constantly catching me off guard. I smile and shake my head before looking away from my Apple watch to continue charting. 

I check the time and see it’s a little after seven o’clock. After filling in a few people on my floor and making sure everything is logged in, I go to my locker and grab my belongings. I make my way to the elevator and ride down to the first floor. As soon as I step off of the elevator, I get a phone call. 

Ony. 

I bite my lip to prevent myself from smiling too much before answering. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, pretty girl,” I smile a little wider, “how was work?” 

“It was good. Walking to my car, now.” 

We make casual talk as I continue towards my car. Once I’m inside with my doors locked, I start my engine and begin making my way home. After a few minutes, Ony finally brings up the day I’ve been too nervous to ask about. 

“Mmm... you ready for tomorrow, mama?” 

My heart skips. 

“I, uhh, I am.” I try to sound as relaxed as possible. I can only hope he doesn’t hear how hesitant I sound. 

“What’s wrong? You don’t sound so sure.” 

Of course, he heard... 

“I’m sure... I just have a lot on my mind,” I explain softly. 

“You wanna talk about it?” Ony offers. 

I smile, "Just excited for tomorrow, ‘s all.” I can almost hear his smile in his ‘mhm.’ 

I assume that’s a fine enough answer because Ony doesn’t push the topic, opting to change the subject.  

After about a 10-minute drive, I finally made it back home. I grab all of my belongings and make my way towards the door, making sure to lock my car. I unlock the door to my apartment and walk in, making sure to lock it, as well. 

“You inside yet, mama?” I hear Ony’s voice mumble through my phone. 

“Yeah, I’m inside.” I walk to the island in the kitchen and put my bag on the counter before looking over at my buzzing phone.  

Ony is FaceTiming me.  

I answer the call and gently lean my phone against a nearby object on my counter so that he can see me. The call finally connects and I see Ony leaning back in his chair, fingers moving around on his controller as he plays the game. The corners of my lips slightly raise at the sight of him before I look away for a moment to place one hand on the counter and use the other to remove my shoes. 

“You look pretty, (N/N),” I hear him say over the speaker. 

  I couldn’t help but chuckle as I pick up my phone, shoes, and purse and walk to my bedroom. 

“You say that every time we're on the phone,” I mention with a tired yet teasing tone, “but thank you.” 

He ignores my initial statement and smiles, eyes returning to his TV screen, “You’re welcome.” 

~ 

The night goes on as it normally would; I change and sit on the phone with Yanni for a little over an hour before deciding it is time for me to take a shower and go to bed. 

When I wake up the next morning, it takes me a moment to become fully oriented. When I do, I can’t help but think about how the night could go. Ony and I can realize that being friends is what’s best; we could not like one another, or we could continue in pursuit of a relationship. Of course, I’m hoping for the latter, but only time will tell.  

After talking to God about my worries, I feel a little better and finally decide to get up and get ready, leaving my phone on its charger. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I walk into my room and look through my wardrobe for a dress that’s fancy enough for a dinner date but not overly obnoxious. Wanting to remain on the safe side, I decide on a long black, long-sleeved dress with some heels. Feeling content with my decision, I decide to pick up my phone to check any notifications. 

The very first one is from Ony. 

Ony: Good morning pretty girl. Ima be a little busier today so I won’t be able to talk much. Make sure you’re ready by 6. I’ll see you soon 

I smile before responding to his text, feeling slight butterflies in my tummy. I make sure to let him know I appreciate him telling me he’d be busy and that I’ll see him tonight. Checking the time, I decide to go ahead and grab some breakfast, opting for some fruit, feeling too nervous to eat too much. 

I try to talk myself down, trying not to get worked up over some guy.  

‘It’s just another date with another guy... it’s just another date with another guy... but it’s not.’ 

There's something about Onyan that makes me hope that what we have goes further than ‘just another date.’ Although we’ve only really been able to speak over the phone since we met, he seems to be more genuine than any other person who has tried to pursue me. Mikasa’s words continue to play in my mind as well. Knowing from a reliable source that he doesn’t mess around for fun also puts me a little at ease.  

I just need to relax and trust that no matter what happens, everything’s gonna be okay. 

~  

I sit in front of my vanity, applying any finishing touches I think I need. I stand and take in my appearance. A smile makes its way onto my lips as I reach to grab some perfume. I spray to my heart’s content before grabbing my purse and phone and walking to the living room. Again, I look in the large mirror at my reflection, feeling happy with how I look. Minutes pass before I hear a knock on my door. 

My heart drops to my stomach. I take a deep breath before walking to the door, unlocking and opening it. Once it’s open, I see Ony with a bouquet of light pink roses with white lilies. I give an endearing smile before hugging him. 

“Ony, these are beautiful. Thank you.” 

He carefully wraps his arms around me, a smile on his face as he responds, “You’re welcome, (N/N). I’m glad you like them.” 

I lean away before gently taking the bouquet from his grasp, my hand lightly brushing against his. I lead him inside for a moment while I carefully replace my older flowers with the newer ones. Once that’s done, I grab my purse. 

“You ready?” Ony glances up from his phone once he sees that I have my purse. 

I nod and watch as he smiles, taking in my outfit for the night.  

“You look beautiful, (Y/N).” He stands from the barstool he sat in while he waited and makes his way to me with his hand out.  

  I take my lower lip into my mouth to try to prevent me from smiling like an idiot, and it just barely works. My hand interlocks with his as I respond. “Thank you, and you look very handsome.”  

Which is true. Ony has on a solid black shirt with some loose black pants and white forces. He, of course, has his chain and studs on and a black and white bomber jacket. He bites his lip as he looks down at me for a moment.  

“Thank you, mama.”  I smile before looking at the ground. Ony let out a breathy chuckle at the way I couldn’t hold eye contact before leading us to his car. He leads me to the passenger’s side and opens the door for me. I give a soft thank you before sitting down and bringing my legs inside. When I get situated, he closes the door and makes his way to the driver's side before driving off.  

~ 

After 25 minutes, we make it to our restaurant. I know I haven’t been here before, so I don’t know what to expect. Ony parks and makes his way to my side to help me out. I place my hand in his while he leads us inside the restaurant. The host leads us to a secluded booth towards the back of the restaurant. We walk hand in hand until we reach the area, separating only to sit across from one another. Our host hands us our menus and tells us our waitress will be with us soon. 

I gently look through the menu, eyes slowly gazing over what all the restaurant has to offer. Ony, sitting across from me, can’t help but allow his eyes to gaze over me, only giving his menu half the attention since he already knows what he wants. He swiftly thinks of something to talk about and opens his mouth to speak. 

“Don’t hesitate to get anything you want, by the way. ” My eyes flicker up to his at the sound of his voice. I smile softly before briefly returning my eyes back to the menu. 

“I’ll keep that in mind, thank you.” 

Ony gently licks his lips before closing his menu completely and giving me his undivided attention. 

After that, conversation was nothing short of wonderful - Ony smoothly leading the us from one topic to another. I could feel my attraction for him grow the more he spoke to me in that soft, deep tone that I’ve grown used to. Due to me not being the best conversationalist, I was hesitant for this date, but it comes so naturally with him. As if he knows exactly what to say and when to say it. 

From childhood memories to stories about work to ranting about the group that we’ve grown to love so dearly. It felt as though we had known each other for years.

After ordering, it took us bit before our food was brought out to us. Even then we joke about how it got quiet when we started eating, knowing that the restaurant he picked was a good choice. We each took our time, slowly realizing that we didn’t want the night to end just yet. Even after Ony paid for our meal, we still stayed to talk for about another 30 minutes.  

After laughing at a joke he said, I turned my phone over on the table to check the time and sigh. 

“Ony, we should probably head out. It’s getting late.” 

He picks up his phone and gives a soft smile. 

“Yeah, you right... Alright, let’s go, pretty girl,” he directs softly before standing. 

 I scoot just a little before turning my legs to the outside of the booth where Ony was waiting with his hand outstretched. I gently place my hand in his and stand. 

“You got everything?” I turn to make sure I didn't drop anything before nodding.  

“Mhm, yeah. I’m good.” 

And with that, he leads us towards the exit. Once we get to his car, he opens the door for me before going to his side. I watch as he walks to his side, trying to hide the goofy grin that’s trying to make itself known.  

He finally sits down in the car before turning to look at me, narrowing his eyes slightly. 

“What?” he asks with a small grin. I shake my head before picking up my phone. 

“Nothing.” By the way I bit my lip to keep from smiling, I’m sure he knew it wasn’t ‘nothing,’ but he chose not to push. Opting for “whatever you say, (N/N.)” 

The drive to my house was mostly done so in peaceful silence. Other than the speakers and the occasional quip, we just enjoyed each other’s presence.  

After some time, Ony pulled into my apartment. He turned off his car and made his way to me. 

“Aww, such chivalry. Walking me to my door?” I quip once my hand is in his. 

He immediately smacks his lips before closing the door. “Mmcht, man gon’ on somewhere.” He couldn’t even finish the sentence without smiling, causing me to giggle. 

We make it to my door, and I turn to him with a sigh. 

“Thank you for agreeing to go out with me, (Y/N),” his voice low and clear.  

I lean my shoulder against the door and sleepily look him in his eyes. “Thank you for taking me out. I really had fun.” 

“Enough fun to want to do it again?” he asks, taking a step towards me. 

I look off to the side, hide my smile behind my hand before dropping it. “Yeah, Ony. Enough to want to do it again.” 

He looks down, a smile plastered on his face. 

Only a few moments passed before he looks back at me and takes another step forward. I tilt my head a little to the side before feeling him take my hand in his, standing directly in front of me. 

“I’m gonna be very honest, (Y/N) - I would really like to kiss you right now.” 

For some reason me being a little tired made me a little bold and I ask, “So why haven’t you?”  

A moment after those words left my mouth, Ony’s hand rests on my neck, his thumb, pointer, and ring finger gently grabbing my jaw to tilt my head upwards. He leans down and presses his soft lips onto mine. I don’t hesitate for a moment before meeting him halfway. Ony slides his other hand around my waist, pulling me in to completely close the space between us. My left hand slides to his wrist as he deepens the kiss.  

It felt too soon when he pulled away. I opened my eyes to see him looking intensely at me. I quickly shy away, opting to look at the ground, my hand gently rubbing the remnants of Ony from my lips as I try not to smile too hard. 

“Thank you again, Ony,” I mumble trying to keep my rapid heartbeat under control. 

Ony looked at me with an adorned look in his eyes.  

“You’re welcome, mama. Go get some rest, okay?”  

“You, too... Goodnight, Ony.”  

“Goodnight, (N/N).” 

---

It’s been three months since Ony and I have been dating, and it’s been amazing. He’s been amazing. He continues to show me just how caring and protective he is - genuine and fun. The way he never fails to make me smile (whether it be after a tough day at work, or I’m just feeling a little down) is something I didn’t realize I needed. 

‘I’m so glad I listened to Mika,’ is something I constantly think to myself. 

She was right when she told me that he would show me the type of person he is. 

And I couldn’t be happier. 

Ony and I are a little more comfortable with visiting each other's houses, opting to just stay in and relax most of the time. Each time we do, we learn so much about one another. From likes to dislikes to family and more. The more we spend time together, the more I can’t help but think about what it would be like to actually be in a committed relationship with him.  

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t try to shoo the thought away, but it’s so hard when Ony is... himself. Going above and beyond is not foreign to him. His emotional intelligence is evident through his desire for clear communication and his (surprising) amount of empathy.  

Gosh, he’s so wonderful. 

My thoughts are cut short by a soft *ping!*  I glance at my phone to see Ony’s name pop up. I bite back a smile before opening his message.

Yanni <3 : Be ready by 8. I got a surprise for you 

---

ah, please be nice. im still getting into the swing of things. i really hope you guys enjoyed this. please excuse any mistake!

i love you but Jesus loves you more. <3

@kxllanxtdoor

@prettypink-princesss

@sevikasblackgf

pt.1

[russellsppttemplates]

Soon enough (Lance Stroll)

There are many different ways to start a family, and Lance and Y/N are hopefully starting their own

Note: english is not my first language. This piece is written from experiences I know (my mother's, specifically), so it is probable that there are some mistakes as I'm not a doctor. Either way, I've tried to treat this as respectfully as possible as this is very close to my heart. Am I really giddy for the follow up parts? Yes, I am!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions endometriosis, fertility issues and treatments and associated topics like blood, medicine, hospitals, needles, etc., male masturbation, pregnancy

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"It's just going to be negative, Lance", you mumbled, placing the stick on top of the counter and turning to the tap to ways your hands. "Then we'll know what to look for, sweetheart", he attempted, knowing how much the subject weighed on your chest.

When you decided it was time to start thinking about building your family, you and Lance went back to Dr. Marlin like she had asked you. Given your endometriosis, she wanted to accompany you in your fertility journey, checking out all of the possibilities before you moved on to bigger situations.

Lance had been the most supportive partner, always there to cheer you on and to hold you whenever things didn't work out, "Dr. Marlin said that if this didn't work, we are moving on to the big treatments", you looked at him, "and that's what we will do if you want, whenever you feel comfortable", he kissed the side of your head after pulling you close to him, "we're in this together, Y/N".

Grabbing the test when your phone beeped, you didn't even flinch, "negative, like I said", you mumbled, your top lip trembling as you hid your face in your husband's neck. As much as you expected it, it still hurt. Like any other couple wanting to start parenthood, you wanted to remember this period of your life fondly, but you also knew you weren't any other couple. You weren't alone, and since you became more invested in learning about your condition, you found out about all the other couples who had been through the same and their happy families, remembering someone with a very similar history to yours.

"I love you, Y/N, so much. I love you and we're going to have our own family, my love", Lance whispered in your ear, "we're in this together until the end, whatever it takes", he soothed, kissing your skin and hugging you tight against him.

"Do you have any meetings today?", you asked as you pulled away a few moments later, wiping your tears on your sleeve, "I have one at the end of the day, and I'm free for the rest of the week", Lance informed, "I have to get to work for the afternoon only, my morning is free too", you sniffed.

"Then I can call Dr. Marlin to book an appointment and you can go and get ready because we are going on a walk. It's a very quiet one, I doubt we'll run into anyone, okay?", he suggested, smiling when he saw your lips curve upwards slightly, "you're the best. I love you, Lance", you kissed his lips, walking out the bathroom and into the bedroom while he made the phone call.

.

"Do you need a blood sample?", you asked the assistant on the counter, "no, today it's just an ultrasound, and after that you might have to come in for other samples, just depends on how the appointment goes today", she smiled, "Dr. Marlin will call you shortly".

Sitting next to Lance as you waited, you grabbed his hand and started playing with in fingers on top of his thigh, "are you ready to hear that my uterus is a sad sad place for a baby to grow and that not even your guys want to stay in there? We've known eacother for a good while, so I thought we'd befriended, but apparently they're either too snobby or my uterus is a very hostile place", you joked, hoping that it would shake your nerves off, "too much?", you cringed.

"That's not the weirdest thing you've said to me", your husband chuckled, "and I'll listen to anything you say as long as it makes you smile", he cupped your cheek, "besides, who knows? Maybe my guys are also picky, or slow".

Dr. Marlin welcomed you in her office not long after, greeting you and confirming the informations she had, "like we discussed before, it seems that our best approach would be treatments like IVF. For that, of you still want to go for that route, we'll need some samples so we can also rule out any questions from Lance and see where your levels are", she said, getting up, "for today, we'll do the ultrasound as this will also given us more information".

Getting up and laying down on the bed, Lance followed you, standing on your side as you lifted your shirt enough for her to squeeze the gel and move the wand around, "see here? This is your fallopian tube, and it seems the most blocked, while your uterus is actually shedding well enough", she explained, pointing to the different spots on the screen.

"And is that good or bad? I mean, given the circumstances", you questioned, "I can't tell you with absolute certainty, as everyone is different, but this is usually a good sign. It means that it's your eggs that are not travelling to the uterus, and not like you have a low count or that they don't have a good place to settle once fertilised", she smiled, "I'm prescribing you the bloodwork and the samples we need, but after that, if everything checks out, we'll wait for your period and then we'll start couting from there".

.

"It's time for the shot, sweetheart", Lance called, grabbing the supplies he needed as you sat on the sofa. Even though you were fine doing it by yourself, having Lance doing the injections when he was home helped him feel involved in the process. "You can leave that there, then I can just pick it up after you take the needle out", you noted, placing the gauze in your thigh.

Lance tapped the syringe twice to make sure it was at the right level, kneeling down in front of you, "I'm just going to pinch your tummy, is this side, right?", he confirmed, seeing you nod, "are you ready, love?", he checked over before injecting the medicine on your skin, holding the syringe steady for a little bit before pulling it out, discarding it in the medical waste bin Dr. Marlin had given you while you dealt with the burn.

"This one is burning a lot more than I expected", you moaned, squeezing your eyes shut as the stung softened, feeling Lance's lips on your tummy and right by your hand that was pressing the gauze down, "you're very brave, Y/N, I love you".

"I love you too, handsome", you cradled his face, rubbing his stubbly cheek before helping him store the supplies for the next injection time, "we only have four days left", you smiled, looking at the medicine vials.

"Soon enough, Y/N, soon enough", he kissed your forehead, hugging carefully to not press on your tender lower belly, "you're so amazing all I keep doing is just that, but you're taking it all in, it's your body going through the changes", he kissed your softly.

"You're the one dealing with these hormonal changes, I still can't believe I cried when your sister showed up at the table with the pie a little bit more golden that it usually is. It wasn't burnt and it tasted amazing as usual, but the sight of it not done like usual sent me in a fit of cries", you blushed. Chloe was understanding like you expected her to be, but you still couldn't shake her panicked few seconds when she saw your tears, calling her brother immediately so he could hug you and soothe you.

"It's part of the process, love, and I want to be here for as much as I'm able", he said, interrupted by the sound of your phone going off, "it's Dr. Marlin, let me put in on speaker".

The phone call couldn't have gone better, "Y/N, I've reviewed the scans and it looks really good, keep up with the rest of the treatment and next week we'll look into the retrievals", she announced.

.

"This wasn't the way we were supposed to make a baby", you mumbled, "I should be getting naked and we'd be in our bed, and we'd whisper how much we love eachother and then we'd cuddle in said bed, not with me in a procedure room and you in another, in these cold and sterile sheets", you looked up at Lance.

You were back in the clinic so the doctors could collect both samples, and while you've had the years to prepare for this, and with therapy it was something you had worked over, sometimes you were still plagued by these thoughts.

Fortunately, your husband knew just what to say, "it's not the usual way, yes, but it's filled with love nonetheless. You're putting yourself through procedures after your body had been medicated with injections, and that is love. For out little one who we will hopefully hold in our arms when the time comes, love for our family and love for me. You're going to make me a father because of this amount of love you're showing me and that we share, okay?", he smiled soothingly, kissing your forehead, "no more of those worries, okay? Besides, we'll have loads of time for you to touch me and for me to touch you", he winked, helping you turn around so he could help you with the gown's tie.

Kissing your forehead goodbye once the nurses came to take you, Lance was then pulled to a room for himself, "all of the supplies you need are there", she pointed to the sterile table, leaving him alone in the room. Masturbating in a hospital room was not something he ever thought about doing. It wasn't that you weren't there with him, because he certainly had done it many times whenever he travelled for races and you weren't there, so he figured it was the white walls, plain in a room that only had the purpose he was in there for too. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he found the photo album of pictures of you he kept for these occasions. The collection was built along the years you've dated, usually ending up on his phone whenever you both felt particularly daring and in need of the other and you weren't physically able to satisfy it. The picture he used, however, was one he had taken himself. The picture was probably three months old as he had taken in on your anniversary, your naked side profile as you looked sweetly at the camera. You hadn't done anything big to celebrate it, opting instead for staying in and spending your time between the sheets working on your shared dream of a family. And that's exactly what he was doing right now, stroking himself as he recalled the sweet noises you make that he adores so much, the way you feel around him and how your body feels in his hands, soon collecting his finish in the sterile cup.

Making sure it was sealed tight and then washing his hands, Lance fixed himself and walked out of the room, heading up to the desk and handing his sample to the nurse, "there you go", he began, seeing her store it in a cooler like box, "I'm sorry to bother, but do you have any news on my wife?", he wondered, "Y/N's procedure seems to be concluded", the nurse looked at the monitor in front of her, "they're probably just finishing up and she'll be up in her room any minute. Do you want me to walk you there?".

"I think I still remember the way, thank you though", Lance smiled, walking along the corridors until he found the room you had been in. He sat in the comfortable chair, smiling when he saw your colourful fuzzy socks waiting on your bag, remembering reading reports from other women saying that their feet were cold after the retrieval, and since you weren't a big fan of the cold, Lance made sure to pack them for you.

The noise in the corridor caught his attention as the nurse that had wheeled you to the procedure room came back, wheeling you back inside, "she's still a bit sleepy, but the procedure went well. Dr. Marlin said that, at first glance, everything is right on track", she smiled as she noticed Lance's worry fade, "we will be both here in a bit so we can discharge her, but if something happens meanwhile, there's a bell there", she pointed, excusing herself and closing the door behind her.

Turning to face you, Lance kissed your cheek as you fluttered your lashes, "hey, sleepy girl", he cooed, prompting you to fully open your eyes, "I heard you did really well in there", he admitted proudly.

"Yes, they said something about a good number of eggs, I think I might've compared myself to a chicken, so you know, good things", you giggled, looking for his hand to hold, "thank you, for all this", you kissed his knuckles, "no need to thank me, we're in this together, sweetheart".

After explaining you the signs you should look out for, the medical team discharged you and off home you went with Lance.

.

Since you got the call to book the embryo transfer day, you and Lance had been cautiously hopeful with the results, "Lance, Y/N, I'm happy to say that we have 10 embryos to work with. They have developed healthily and without any complications", Dr. Marlin cheered.

"Let's go get a baby put inside of me, hm?", you stepped out of the car, holding Lance's hand as you walked to the door. Checking in was quick and you were almost immediately welcomed into the procedure room, sitting in the bed and covering yourself as requested.

"I imagine I'm looking very sexy", you joked in a way to deal with the nerves, "you always look the sexiest to me", your husband kissed the side of your head, resting his forehead in yours, "we're finally here, my love, you've got this, we've got this", he whispered, almost terrified that of he spoke any louder he would disturb the mood.

You heard a knock on the door, Dr. Marlin and her colleague walking in wheeling a small cart, "we have your embryos here", she pointed to the environment where they had been developing. As they rearranged the room, they pushed a highchair by your side, telling Lance he could sit in there while they worked, "so, Y/N, you shouldn't feel too much pain, rather some pressure as we make the transfer", she said as she maneuvered the small catheter, her colleagues guiding the ultrasound as you looked at Lance, finding the usual calm in his brown eyes.

"That was very well placed, actually the perfect spot", Dr. Marlin said, smiling behind her mask as he removed the devices and covered you up. "It's done", she empathised, rubbing your shoulder and hugging you, "now you're just going to stay here for 10, 15 minutes or so, to make sure everything settles", she excused herself, leaving you and Lance in the room.

"We made a baby and they're inside of you", Lance choked out. Throughout this process, he had always been the strong one, the one to hold you whenever you didn't want to do the injection because it hurt too much, whenever you felt like crap from the meds and whenever you lost hope, but today he cried for the first time, bringing tears to your own, "I'm so happy, I promise these are happy tears", he chuckled, "I always say that I'm the luckiest guy because you love me, at my best and t my worst, and today you proved it to me once again. I really am the luckiest", he kissed your lips, salty tears in the mix while you waited.

"We'll see you in two weeks for the test, okay?", your OB waved goodbye after giving you two big hugs, "thank you, once more", you spoke, forever grateful for the way she led you through this whole journey.

Driving home was quiet and comfortable, your seat adjusted so you didn't have as much pressure on your abdominal area, "They really should get this holes sorted, they've been here for a while now and they're only getting worse", Lance mumbled, "I'm sorry, sweetheart", he apoligised as he slowed down the car as much as it was safe to, "it's fine, it doesn't hurt or anything", you justified, not seeing the need to be so careful.

Blushing, your husband passed all the holes, the concrete now smooth as he drove faster again, "can't give any more shakes to the little bun, you know? Making sure they stay glued to the wall and all", he said sweetly, hopefully bringing lightness to the situation as you pouted at his cuteness.

"I love you, Lance. There's no one else I'd want to do this with", you stretched your hand, landing on his thigh as his own hand travelled to your tummy, rubbing it softly and hoping that your family was growing inside of you.

[its-time-to-write]

i hold it like a grudge - ch. 2

I forgot to mention, the chapter titles/series name comes from the song, “the grudge.” I’d highly recommend listening to it at least once to get the feel I was going for in this fic, or at least what influenced parts of it.

table of contents try to be tough

It’s raining, not completely unusual for early August, and it feels like a reset. The air smells clean and fresh, and you know that it’s going to be a slow workday. You pull out your computer and check up on your online orders and update some posts on social media. You’re gaining serious traction, with reposts and likes from some American celebrities. Shit, with the way things are going, you could sell your flat and buy an actual house.

The grudge you hold against Jamie doesn’t seem so huge at the moment. It’s still there, but it no longer feels as though he pulled the rug out from under your feet. For the first time, you’re allowed to think about other things than the struggle he left you with. For example, why did he leave you in the first place? You hadn’t considered about it since cutting up everything he ever gave you, too busy with the all-consuming thought how will I survive?

It hurts, hurts much more than you think it still should. 

The two of you grew up together in the same council estate, right next to each other. You terrorized the neighbors while your mothers discussed money and shared food and scrounged together what they could to support both of you. 

When you got older and he was scouted for footie and headed for the academy, you still called him almost every day. He’d listened when you cried about your mum and watched her fade away right in front of you.

He’d gotten leave and come home for her funeral, and helped you pack everything up to either sell or to move next door with Georgie.

Jamie had been there for every part of your life, just as you’d been there for him when his dad came around, or he got yelled at by his teachers. 

He knew you, knew how much it meant that he stayed. Knew how much the support meant, and the way you both had clawed your way to get at least close to the top.

This plagues you as you wrap pickup orders for the day and place them in their spots behind the counter. 

You’re coming to the conclusion that he did it on purpose, that he must have known exactly what he was doing and somehow decided you deserved it, when a customer comes in out of the rain.

“Morning!” you say. “I have your order all ready for you. And it’s all paid for, so nothing else is needed on your end.”

Keeley says “Thanks,” with far less energy than she showed the other day with Jamie.

You ask, “You alright?” before you can stop yourself. 

She huffs out half a laugh. “Yeah, fucking great. Life’s just peachy at the moment, as I’m sure you’ve read in The Sun.”

You hadn’t, but you’ve a good guess what it has to say.

“I’m sorry,” you say as she takes the earrings. 

She just laughs again, short and grating. “Yeah. Y’know, I’ve been on all your socials. Read your website about empowering yourself and all that. Part of the reason why I wanted to come here, actually, y’know, fucking… girls supporting girls.”

You nod, unsure of what to say.

“I’m glad you’re getting the success you deserve, babes. Your bio said you went through a lot of shit to get here. Guess I’m still in my ‘lot of shit,’ part of life, you know? Anyway.” She goes to leave, jewelry tucked safely into her purse.

You think, fuck it.

“Keeley?” you ask hesitantly. She turns back around to face you.

“I just- I’ve been with someone who didn’t value me. Who didn’t hold himself accountable. It didn’t start that way at first, it was a lot of fun, but it ended up hurting me. I haven’t been able to trust anyone like that since, and I don’t want you to end up like me. You don’t have to stay with him. You can have a whole life all on your own, you know?”

Keeley gives you a small smile, says, “Thank you,” and heads out the door.

—

I deserved it.

Those words ring in your head as you walk home. You don’t bother to open your umbrella, opting to let the rain fall as it will in some form of absolution.

I deserved it.

You shut the door to your flat and drop your clothes on the way to the shower. You turn the knob to scalding, and let the suffocating steam fill the bathroom.

I deserved it.

The rain hits the roof with more force as you drink half a bottle of wine in lieu of dinner. It’ll hurt you tomorrow, but you don’t work tomorrow.

I-

No. It’s 3am, and you’re awoken from vivid dreams of your mum and Georgie and Simon, of Keeley, and of fucking Jamie. 

No. You didn’t- you don’t deserve it. 

“No,” you say aloud. “I know how to swim. I made it.”

With that pronouncement, you pull your blankets tighter around you, slipping easily into a dream where your mum holds you and whispers, “I’m so proud of you.”

—

It’s another rainy day in Richmond. The sky is dark and cloudy, and you can hear the sound of drops hitting the pavement as soft music plays in the shop. You haven’t seen Jamie or Keeley in a while, but his face is stuck all over Richmond, just like you predicted. 

Every time you see it, you think a calm, fuck you and continue walking. You didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve you.

You’re working on an order when the door chimes and Keeley Jones breezes in.

“Hi, welcome back! Jamie buying you more jewelry?”

Keeley grimaces. “Broke up with him a bit ago, actually. Thought a lot about what you said about accountability, then a friend of mine used the exact same word. It’s a little bit shit, but like you said. I can have a whole life all on my own, yeah?”

“Yeah!” you hastily reassure. “I promise you, it’s fucking brill without him. Hard at first, but you have to know your value.”

She grins a little half-grin and places the Keeley earrings on the counter.

That’s not unexpected, people often want to get rid of gifts from their ex, but you do still have a business.

“I’m so sorry about your breakup, but we can’t really do returns. Everything’s custom, so…” you trail off.

“Oh!” Keeley says. “No, I actually came back because I really fucking love these earrings, and I want something else to go with it. What d’you recommend?”

“Oh!” you parrot. “Well, we have necklaces. The charms are the same style, I can make a mockup for you if you give me a minute.” You turn around to pull out some boxes, and hear the door jingle. The air in the room changes ever so slightly and you know without looking who has just stepped in.

Jamie looks back and forth between you and Keeley, like he didn’t expect to see either of you there. 

That fucking drowning feeling, the one you worked so hard to get over, comes back in full force. 

“Hey,” Jamie says hesitantly, “um, I’ll just-” 

He leaves as quick as he came.

Keeley gives you a strange look. “What the fuck?” she laughs. “Was he looking for me? How the fuck did he know where I was?”

You tear your eyes away from the space Jamie just occupied. It’s been what, a month since the first time he came into your shop? Longer? It feels right and wrong somehow, like it’s both at once; you and him, in the same room, just like it’s always been. Like no time has passed. 

But time has passed, and more importantly the time for you to respond to Keeley has passed. You’ve been quiet a beat longer than normal, and she catches it. Keeley’s a smart girl, smarter than she’s given credit for. She’s puzzling out all the information she has, and you can practically hear it all bouncing around in her mind.

Something clicks into place. You see it in the way Keeley’s entire expression changes. She claps a hand over her mouth and exclaims, “Oh shit!” 

You don’t have a a chance to say anything because she looks at you with horror in her eyes and says, “It was Jamie.”

“What do you mean?” you ask carefully. 

Keeley’s still processing. “It was Jamie,” she repeats. “That’s your ex. The one who didn’t hold himself accountable, the one you said cheated on you. Oh my god, I’m the other woman! How could I do that to you?”

Keeley is having an epiphany mixed with a heart attack.

“You didn’t know!” you argue. “You didn’t know, and you never would have done it if you had.”

“I’m so fucking sorry,” she moans.

You grab her arm. “Keeley. You. Didn’t. Know. It’s been over a year. I’m fine.”

She snaps out of it a little bit, but still looks dazed as she says, “Why the fuck have you been so sweet? You knew exactly who I was.”

You lift a shoulder. “Jamie… he’s like a magnet. I dunno. I get what it’s like when he looks at you, it’s like you can’t believe that someone that wonderful even notices you. And I guess I understand why he dumped me, you know? We’ve known each other since we were kids and it’s fine if you have a regular job, but if you’re a fucking Premier League footballer… probably best to stick with models.”

Keeley walks over to the door and flips the sign to “closed.”

You look at her quizzically, but she just leans against the door and whispers, “I didn’t know you knew each other that long.”

There’s no good response to that statement, so you chew on your lip. For a long moment, you two just stare at each other.

Finally you say, “Okay. Fuck this. We’re going to my flat and we’re going to eat a shit ton of food and get absolutely smashed.”

table of contents

[perpetualexistence]

Team E-scope plays 'What If?', becomes unstoppable

During their morning jogs, Izzy starts making a habit of playing 'What if?' Neither Eva nor Noah take it seriously at first since they think she's just spouting off random questions. So she decides to turn it into a more involved 'What would you do?'

It starts off simple enough for Izzy.

She asks Eva "What would you do if I bit you?"

"I'd throw you into a tree."

"Cool!" says Izzy, as she immediately bites Eva. Eva commits to her promise. Noah's not quite sure what either of them expected.

It goes from things Izzy can quickly do to hypothetical scenarios. She refuses to leave the subject alone until at least one of them engages her. They also start going from 'what would you do' to 'what would we do'. It's more fun because it makes it more likely that Eva and/or Noah will start playing along. These hypothetical scenarios include:

What do we do if a zombie apocalypse hits?

What do we do if one of us might be an imposter?

What do we do if one of us is forced into villainy?

What do we do if one of us wants to go into villainy?

What do we do if we wake up with no idea where we are?

What do we do if we all turn into worms?

The next thing any of them know, they're coming up with actionable plans for these scenarios. Izzy comes up with out of the box plans, Noah comes up with clever plans, and Eva makes the plans simple so they're actually doable.

Zombie apocalypse? Izzy's the Scout, Noah's the Medic, Eva's the Heavy Hitter. Imposter? They each start developing two different code phrases to confirm who they are depending on who's asking. Villainy? Start a riot if it's forced, and start a different kind of riot if it's not. Transported? Go to high ground, kick ass as needed. Worms? Vibe.

They even start coming up with legitimate plans for how to take each other down if need be. Izzy and Eva have a plan for how to take down Noah. Noah and Izzy have a plan to take down Eva. Eva and Noah have a plan to take down Izzy. And each of them has a plan for how to take the other two out individually and together. They extend this courtesy to their other friends. Not out of maliciousness. Except for Justin and Alejandro, those ones have a good amount of maliciousness. It's mainly just because it's fun, and you never know if you might need it. Izzy even finds a safe house for some of their plans.

They develop so many plans that Eva's having a hard time keeping track of them. She's no Izzy or Noah who can just memorize things quickly. One thing that does help her concentrate is her music. So she starts associating plans with songs.

She won't admit to it at first because she's a bit self conscious about the intelligence gap. And that frustrates her. And that never goes well.

It's not until she accidentally hums a song under her breath during the creation of a plan that one of the others notices, and she confesses it while doing her calming exercises so she's not yelling at them for being know it alls treating her like an idiot.

Noah and Izzy just look at her because holy shit, that's a great idea, and they're rolling with this now. Having songs for each plan means that if they ever need to actually use them, they can say something like 'Track 34'. They'll immediately know what to do, and no one else will be able to catch on. If they need to be more subtle, then they can just hum the song or play it out loud.

They need to know how Eva's playlist works now, and they might end up suggesting some of their own songs for newer plans. They won't mess with her current playlist. It'd be a dick move to force her to unlearn her own associations when she came up with the idea in the first place.

Eva's definitely not tearing up for having supportive friends. Shut up. She's punching a tree now.

And that's how Team E-scope solidifies themselves as an unstoppable force of nature when provoked. Through the power of actually making plans, and unbreakable friendship.

[elen-aranel]

Helloo~ May I make a Christopher Pike x reader request? It's a month old scuttlebutt, that the captain is involved with you, based solely on misconstrued events (leaving the direction of his quarters early morn in a rumpled uniform, stopping by medbay for a 'shot') Everyone knows that everyone knows, from cadet to captain. Except you don't. And noone has bothered checking. And the captain finds it funny (and you 'apparently' don't mind either as you've not bothered to shoot it down) so any moments you two have in view of others, he gives you a conspirational wink with some flirty banter. You think (hope) he's really flirting and not just being friendly.

Is it a bit much for a request? If so lemme know. Or i can commission? Idk. The idea hit me and it made me giggle with all the ways it could go.

Thank you so much for the request, and for your patience... this took a while! I hope you like the direction I've gone with it <333

Common Knowledge

Pairing: Christopher Pike x F!Reader (no Y/N) Warnings/Notes: Reader wears the dress version of the standard SNW uniform. Food mentions, alcohol mention. WC: 5.8k

It all starts the morning after you spent gamma shift in a Jeffries tube. Well. Several Jeffries tubes, in fact, chasing down an issue with a relay that had blown and taken a bunch of circuitry out with it, including some life support systems.

You’re feeling good, though, as you step out into the corridor on a deck full of crew quarters. Yes, your red uniform dress is creased and you’re in dire need of a shower, but the relay and the burned-out circuitry are replaced, and all systems are back online.

You deserve a water shower, not a sonic one, you tell yourself as you head toward the turbolift, nodding to the occasional officer as you walk by them. You just need to make sure the ops console on the bridge is reading everything correctly, then your duty shift will be done.

“Commander, Lieutenant,” you greet Lieutenant Commander Chin-Riley and Lieutenant Ortegas as you enter the turbolift. Unlike you, they both look fresh and ready to face the day. Number One nods in greeting, but Ortegas looks you up and down quite blatantly, and you find you’re trying to smooth your skirt despite yourself.

“Long night?”

“I—” you start, but before you can reply—

“Computer, hold. Open the doors,” Commander Chin-Riley says, and as you turn, Captain Pike is walking into the lift. And somehow, even though you’ve been on the Enterprise for a while, you’re never not struck by his presence. His broad shoulders. How handsome he is.

“Good morning, Number One, Ortegas. Lieutenant.” He puts an odd weight on your title, even though of course he knows your name, and then your mind goes blank as he winks one of those blue eyes.

“C-captain,” you stutter, well aware of Ortegas trying to stifle a laugh next to you.

“Sleep well?” Una asks, something knowing in her voice, after the captain directs the turbolift to the bridge.

“I’ve had… more restful nights,” he says, and looks at you sideways, doubtless taking in your rumpled dress and less-than-fresh appearance. “Like the lieutenant here, I’d wager,” he adds, and you must have missed a memo somewhere because this ‘lift ride has gotten very weird, very fast.

You decide keeping quiet is your best bet — it’s a short ride, thank goodness.

But you can’t shake the feeling that there are eyes on you as you finish your work on the bridge.

It may have started in a Jeffries tube, but it continues in sickbay.

You appreciate knowing sickbay is there. Doctor M'Benga and Nurse Chapel are skilled at their jobs, and you’ve had cause to be grateful for them when accidents happen, from a pulled muscle during a workout to a painful plasma burn from faulty equipment.

That doesn’t mean you love getting your quarterly check-up and shots. But you decided early on in your career that you weren’t going to be one of those people doctors had to chase for their physicals. Every three months you turn up. You’re due for routine vaccinations against some common alien viruses that human immune systems need reminders about, and your contraceptive shot.

Not that you really need it, of course. You aren’t getting any. The closest you’ve been since you joined the Enterprise was Lieutenant Paulson, a senior engineer who sometimes commands gamma shift when you’re on that rotation. He asked you out to dinner on Starbase 1, and while you like him as a person, you had to decline. You’d known him for a while, and never felt any kind of spark. And there’s been no-one— there’s been almost no-one else on the ship that you’re interested in. But still, you get your shot.

Today your appointment is during your shift. You didn’t want to be interrupted; you’re working on a new scanning device to be used on a planet with an unusual combination of atmosphere and magnetic field, which affects the resolution of normal scanners. So when your reminder went off you kept hold of your PADD, and you carried on entering the design parameters as you walked.

“Woah there,” a voice cuts through the equations you’re focussing on, and you feel hands on your arms, steadying you as you stumble.

As it turns out, walking with a PADD is a mistake.

Especially when you walk straight into the captain in the corridor outside sickbay.

“Captain! I’m so sorry! I—I was— I’ll pay more attention.” You look up, flustered, into his blue eyes, suddenly keenly aware of the bulk of him, of the controlled strength in his hands.  Happily, he seems amused rather than annoyed, that half smile playing about his lips.

“I do admire your... dedication, Lieutenant, but you’re right. Paying attention is a good idea.”

And as the doors to sickbay swish open, letting Chief Kyle and one of your fellow engineers out onto the corridor, you realise the captain hasn’t moved. You’re still in his space, and he’s still holding you.

“Captain, Lieutenant... are you joining us?” Nurse Chapel looks as though she’s suppressing a smile. “You’re, uh... both here for your quarterly shots, right?” she adds, as Pike finally steps back, and you walk with him into sickbay. You nod, mutely.

“Yes. Timed it perfectly this time, didn’t we Lieutenant?” he says, and he grins at you, knowing.

“Sure,” you find yourself saying, sitting down a little abruptly on the biobed Doctor M'Benga indicates. Is Pike… flirting with you? Or just being his usual warm self?

“This shouldn’t take too long. I’m sure you want to get back to your... duties.” M'Benga looks meaningfully at Pike, who shrugs, a picture of innocence.

“Can you blame us?”

You can’t help your smile.

But actually, now you really think about it, maybe you’re wrong.  Maybe it started with the onions.

You have a shift free, moving from nights to days as you do on a semi-regular basis, since some edict came down from Starfleet that people shouldn’t just work nights for health reasons. It doesn’t entirely make sense to you; you’re on a ship, so it’s not like anyone has a real day or night, but being able to socialise with people who are always on alpha is a plus, and you suppose the same rules apply to planetary bases which do have day and night.

The captain has invited you to dinner. That isn’t special, even though you wish it were – he likes to get to know the whole crew in an informal setting, and it’s just your turn. And maybe you over-think it just a little, during the day, planning what to wear to make yourself look pretty but not like you’d tried too hard.

Either way, you are early. You only realise as you press the chime for the door, when it’s too late to back out.

But the captain’s smile is warm and welcoming. “Hi, come in, come in. You any good with a vegetable knife?”

You grin in return, relaxing. “Yes sir. It’s been a little while, but I can chop.”

“Chris. We’re not on the clock right now.”

“Yes, Chris.” You follow him into the kitchen area of his quarters, taking in the fire, the view of a green forest through the windows, all the details that mark the space as his.

“Excellent. That spatial anomaly today— well. I’m playing catch-up here.”

“Oh wow, you really are...” the vegetables are all laid out ready, and there are a lot. But then, you don’t know how many people will be here. “Set me to work. How do you want the carrots?”

Pike’s knives are sharp and well balanced, and it’s easy to chop carrots into even circles, and to dice potatoes into neat cubes. You chat, too, about the food he’s making, and the special unit he had the ship’s botanists set up to let him grow fresh herbs in space.

You’re pretty much on autopilot by the time you get to the onions. You know the technique: you slice them in half through the root, then make sure you don’t cut the root again as you cut from close to the root to the tip, then across into chunks.

“So, there’s something I’m curious about,” you say as you grab the next onion.

“Oh?” Pike pauses for a moment, hand poised over the control for the oven.

“The forest overlay you have for the windows. Is it somewhere special to you? It’s really lovely.” You blink a little as you chop. Perhaps you got a lash or something in your eye.

Pike presses the control on the oven, then turns to look at you. “No, actually it’s—” he frowns. “Wait, are you all right?”

You blink again. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Your brow draws together, and you put your knife down, turning to him a little more.

“Because you’re crying.” He starts towards you.

“Oh, damn.” You can feel it now — that tell-tale sting in your eyes. You look down at your chopping. “The onions. But I was being careful.” You sigh, blink again, and feel a tear roll down your cheek.

“If there are a lot it doesn’t matter how careful you are. I’m sorry, I should have done them.” He reaches past you, and you’re terribly aware of him in your space. He pulls off a piece of kitchen towel.

 “It’s not your fault—” the words die on your lips as he turns to face you, blue eyes filled with concern.

“I’ll just—I don’t want you to use your hands—” and he takes the towel and dabs your face, and you suck a little breath in at his closeness, wondering why it has to be in a circumstance like this, when the door chime goes. “Enter,” he says, distractedly, blotting away one more tear before stepping back. “There. No harm done. But you should wash up. Ah, Spock, perhaps you can take over the chopping.”

You look round to see that Spock, Sam Kirk, Ortegas and Uhura have all walked in, just in time to see you with red eyes from the onions. At least, you think as you wash the onion off your hands, your makeup is waterproof.

Regardless of how things did or did not start, you’re pretty sure the captain only thinks of you as a friend. That this flirting is just a joke between the two of you... even if you wish it were real. Either way, you decide you might as well enjoy it.

You get back to the transport point from your solo hike on Chi Orianis Prime – it’s beautiful, with fluffy peachy-pink grass that’s soft underfoot and smells very slightly citrus-y when you tread on it, interspersed with lavender coloured bushes, with views of blue lakes and red mountains in the distance – right as Pike gets back from his fishing trip. Given how he’s carrying his cooler, it must have been a successful one.

You’re just about to ask him about it when Chapel and Ortegas arrive, with Uhura and La’an in tow, laughing together. They’re wearing t-shirts and shorts and sandals, carrying towels — clearly back from the beach, La’an actually looking like she might have caught the sun a little.

You take a step closer to him.

“Enjoy your trip?” The smile on Erica’s face is just a little too innocent.

“Yes, thank you. Wouldn’t have been the same without the lieutenant here, though.” Pike catches your eye, and you smile back at him, sappy, playing along.

“The captain’s right. We had a good time.”

None of your close friends wanted to go to movie night with you tonight. They’re showing a classic 20th century Earth film, Casablanca, and none of them were interested in seeing something that old. But it seems pretty popular with the rest of the crew when you get there. You pick up some popcorn first, wondering once again whose idea it was to put a Starfleet delta on the containers, and you head to find a seat.

Maybe it was a good thing your friends didn’t come. There aren’t too many spaces left when you go to sit down, but there are a few seats a couple of rows in front of where Spock and Nurse Chapel are sitting together. You settle in, allowing yourself three pieces of popcorn before the lights go down.

And right before they do, Pike slides into the free seat next to you.

“I thought you were going to stand me up,” you tell him, tilting your popcorn container over.

“A gentleman would never,” he replies, and you can hear the smile in his voice as he takes a piece.

The back of the shuttle is open to the bay, and Cadets Novakova and Manuel, on engineering rotation, are standing inside it with you, PADDs in hand. You’ve popped a panel off the inside of the shuttle, and you indicate a junction point.

“So, okay. You want to interplex the circuitry here. What will be the result of that? What are you hoping to achieve?”

“Well, the increased signal strength will improve thruster response time and efficiency.” Manuel says, shrugging his broad shoulders like it’s obvious.

“Yes, and we need better responsiveness for the planet. The atmospheric differentials are almost out of spec.” Novakova nods. “This is the easiest way to achieve that.”

“All right. And looking at the systems in front of you, will there be any other consequences?”

“No, there shouldn’t, it should just—” there’s a pause, then Novakova steps back, playing with a twist of her blonde hair as she considers. “Wait. That pathway, it connects to the impulse engine as well, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, it does, and the boosted signal would go through there too…” Manuel’s fingers fly over his PADD.

They look at each other as the penny drops, and you notice Pike in the bay, listening in. You tilt your head and raise a brow in a silent invitation, but he shakes his head a little, content to observe.

“So if we interplex the circuitry there, we will get an increase in thruster efficiency, but at the expense of introducing instability into the impulse control matrix.” Manuel sighs.

“You’re flying along, minding your business and then boom. Impulse reactor overload.” Novakova winces. “I didn’t see that.”

You nod. “You didn’t. Because neither of you really looked. For what it’s worth, it would probably have worked on the shuttles at the academy. But these are a different model. You have to work with what’s actually in front of you. That’s half the battle.”

“Wise words, Lieutenant.” Pike leans into the back of the shuttle, and you can’t help your smile at the praise as the cadets turn to acknowledge him. “The two of you should take them to heart.”

You're sitting on a bench in the bar, sipping a favourite drink, listening to Ensign Thyra play an Earth guitar but sing a wistful sounding song in her native Andorian, when Lieutenant Ortegas sits down next to you. And then Nurse Chapel sits on your other side.

“So, you and the captain. How’s that going?” Christine’s opening is straight to the point.

You give her a sceptical look. “It... isn’t? Hi to you too, by the way.” You turn to Erica. “To both of you.”

“Oh, come on. You guys are not subtle.” Erica rolls her eyes. “It’s been scuttlebutt for weeks. Me, Number One,” she starts counting off on her fingers, “Christine, Mbenga, Uhura...”

“Sam Kirk,” Christine adds.

“Yes, Sam Kirk, Spock, La’an...”

 “We’ve all seen it. I even heard the cadets talking about it. Everyone knows.”

You shake your head, putting your drink down on the table in front of you. “We’re not... I don’t—” you look from one to the other. “There’s nothing between the captain and me.” You take a breath. “He flirts, sometimes I flirt back, but it’s just a joke.”

“Doesn’t look like a joke to me.” Christine says, her voice soft, almost sympathetic.

Erica shrugs. “It’s okay. You don’t have to admit it, if you guys are keeping things to yourselves... We just wanted you to know that we’re happy for you. Pike should have someone on the ship. And you. You should have someone too.” Her smile as she stands to leave is genuine.

“I—I’m not hiding anything. But thanks, I guess? I appreciate the sentiment.”

Arriving early when the captain invites you to a crew dinner is your habit now. You enjoy helping with prep when you can, and having a quiet moment to chat with Chris.

But this time you use the computer to check that others have arrived before you get there. You try to relax; these are your friends, Chris is your friend, but with what Erica and Christine said… you feel self-conscious. Second guessing everything you do and say.

 You leave as soon as you can without being rude.

You feel a bit self-conscious with work, too, although you try to bury it. Especially with Pike piloting the shuttle for this mission. You’re sitting in your tactical uniform in the back of shuttle Kepler with Spock, Sam Kirk, La’an, and a couple more science officers. You would expect Kirk especially to pass some comment, but even he is quiet, because Zeta Lyrae VI’s wind shear is every bit as bad as science predicted.

A long-range scanning probe identified it as a possible source of dilithium as well as some other useful minerals — visual scan only, though, because the strange magnetic field prevented scanning of the interior. But that’s where the scanner you developed comes in. The visual scan also tagged some potential ruins which Kirk will investigate, and there’s general surveying to do too.

You grit your teeth against the turbulence. You trust that the captain’s piloting skills and the modifications you and the cadets made to the shuttle will see you safely to the ground, but you still feel motion sick. You know, though, there are pattern enhancers in the cargo. Perhaps you’ll be able to beam back up.

The turbulence lessens as you get deeper into the atmosphere, but you’re still very glad when the shuttle touches down. There’s a metallic tang to the air as the shuttle door opens, but it’s cool and refreshing despite that, and you take a deep breath, settling your rolling stomach, before you get to work.

The dawn sky of Zeta Lyrae IV is muted shades of pale blue and grey, warming a little to mauve-pink at the horizon, where the two suns have just risen. Barren-looking plains stretch out in front of you, with a river lazily meandering across, and there are hills leading to mountains not far away to your right. It’s hard to make out, but the lines of dark stones partially embedded in the ground to your left could well be the remains of a wall, and there are other, more defined structures further away in that direction.

“Lieutenant, you have everything you need?”

“Yes sir.” You lift your last case again, the heavy one, and try to keep your face blank at the weight of it. You know you’ll be feeling it tomorrow, but its contents were too large for your backpack. “I’ve identified a site two kilometres away that’s suitable for the scanner base. Enhanced scanning should be online within an hour.”

Pike nods. “Kirk, La’an, you have the ruins. Spock, the science survey is yours.” He turns to you. “Let me help with that.”

“I’m fine, honestly,” you protest as Pike takes the case from you, fingers brushing yours for one tiny electric moment.

“We’ll make quicker time if we share the load. Which I’m sure Spock will appreciate.”

“Aye, sir.”

You notice that there’s no flirtatious comment today.

This planet feels a bit like a dream, with its dead quiet, muted colours, pearly grey sky and the two suns gently highlighting the landscape. The only evidence you can see of the turbulent atmosphere are the occasional blue-green clouds scudding quickly across the sky.

You pick your way through the pathless terrain, looking for any signs of life. While there are scraps of ragged looking vegetation here and there, a lot of it seems dead, and the planet as a whole seems mostly barren.

You don’t make conversation; there’s something about the planet’s quiet and your confused emotions that steals your ability to make small talk, and Pike is quiet too. There’s just the sound of two pairs of boots crunching on the ground.

Until you almost step on a flower: a seven petaled bloom in the shape of a star, pale blue in the middle deepening to grey-purple just at the tips. You pause to get a better look, to see if there are any others like it nearby, but it seems solitary.

“Are you all right, Lieutenant?”

You look up to see Pike has stopped too, mild concern on his face.

“Yes sir, I’m fine.” You straighten up. “I just... this flower is the only one I’ve seen, and I wonder... is it the last gasp of the life that used to live on this planet, or is it a glimpse of hope for the future?”

Pike glances at the flower, but his focus is on you when he speaks. “We’ll likely never know, but I... I choose hope.”

The site you chose from the visual scan is obvious when you get there. You’re at the edge of the hills, and there’s a grey cliff curving round one edge of a flat open area. Geophysics had identified it as a potential location for dilithium, and as you get close you can see veins of the pink crystal running through the rock.

Now you just need to find out how much there is.

With Pike helping it doesn’t take too long to set the scanner up. You start with the base in the case he was carrying, and together you fold it out into a large circle, locking struts and its three legs in place.

You attach the probe that will drill into the soil, the antennas to communicate with the smaller unit near the shuttle and with the Enterprise, and to facilitate scanning in the atmosphere. Finally, you attach the computer from your backpack which is the brains of the system — you can’t help your private smile of satisfaction as it comes online. The shuttle is far enough away that its systems don’t affect the sensitive scans, and when the probe deploys and calibration data flows straight through immediately.

You talk to Commander Pelia and Lieutenant Spock on comms, making adjustments on the fly to the different parameters, optimising the uplink from the scanner and away team’s tricorders to the Enterprise.

Pike checks in with La’an at some point, but next time you look up you see he’s a little way away, tricorder out, following a standard scanning pattern working outward from where you are. You’re a little surprised he didn’t tell you that’s what he was going to do. Then the scanner beeps as the drill returns a result outside expected tolerances, pulling your focus.

It’s easier to get lost in your work than think about him, and for a long while, you do.

“Lieutenant, do you see that?” There’s a note of concern in Pike’s voice, and you follow his gaze to the horizon to your right.

It almost looks like a distant rain shower would on Earth, but there are green lights sparking all through it. Like lightning but less directional. You take a breath, and realise the metallic smell has intensified, to the point you can almost taste it.

“Yes, sir, I do.” You turn and meet Pike’s eyes.

“Plasma storm?”

“Plasma storm.” You redirect your scanner’s gain to maximum in that direction, sacrificing resolution elsewhere.

Pike’s tone is rueful. “Should’ve known when I scanned a burned patch of vegetation. It must have developed quickly.”

“Looks like it’s moving fast, too.”

“I’ll contact the rest of the away team, have them meet us at the shuttle. You start packing.”

“Sir,” you reply, distracted, already deep in the scanner readouts. You vaguely hear Pike calling Spock, then La’an, but you’re focused on one last scan.

“Lieutenant? I gave you an order.”

“Yes sir, you did, but look.” You point to the readout of the storm’s speed on the screen. “Scans show that even if we leave right now, we can’t make it back to the shuttle before the storm hits. We don’t even have time for them to pick us up.”

Pike frowns. “Options?”

“The cliff. There’s a cave system behind it. I don’t think there’s an entrance close enough, but...”

“Phasers? All this dilithium makes it risky.”

“Plasma burns are no fun, sir. I would know.”

He raises a brow. “Sounds like a story for later. All right. Let’s do this.”

You grab your phaser from your holster and dial the power up.

“Fire.”

You focus your beam on the weakest spot, and Pike fires at it too. And... nothing happens, for long enough for a shade of doubt to creep in. Then there’s a sound, a pile of rubble, and a gap. Just large enough for a person.

The cave is dark. It’s big, too, enough that the torches on your vests can’t illuminate the other side from where you are.

The storm is still raging outside, but the sound of it is quiet in here; the narrow space you opened the gap into curved round for a few metres before opening out into the space you’re in.

Now all you can do is sit and wait.

And you’re so aware of Pike, sitting with you.

He’s quiet, and now you come to think of it he has been all day. Definitely no flirting. You try to steal a glance at him, see what he’s thinking, but it’s too dark, and you don’t want to turn to face him.

You cast around for a distraction, and find a piece of dilithium embedded in the rock floor of the cavern next to you. The surface is flat and glassy-smooth, but with a few imperfections, and you like the feel of it under your fingers. In your head you go over the dilithium crystal eigenstates you memorised at the academy in one of your classes in warp field mechanics, and calculate the power output you would need for your phaser to trigger different levels.

“Sir, I’d like to try something, to give us some more light. It’s safe.”

“Sure. Go ahead.”

You adjust your phaser to its second lowest setting, scoot across a little and fire on the dilithium, counting seconds in your head. It starts glowing red immediately, but as you shut the beam off the glow spreads, along one vein, then another, then another, until the whole cavern is lit up like its own galaxy, surrounding you on the floor, the walls, the ceiling.

“Wow, that’s—that’s good work. Thank you.”

There’s something in his expression as he looks at you, the wonder in his eyes melting into a smile, that makes you brave.

“So… I had an—an interesting chat with Chapel and Ortegas the other day.”

“Oh?”

“Apparently the scuttlebutt is that we’re dating... we’ve been dating for a while. They wouldn’t believe me when I told them it wasn’t true.” You stare out across the cavern at all the glimmering lights.

“Oh.” He exhales. “Hah, yeah… I’m, uh, sorry about that? Things… got away from me.” You hear him stir, move into a different position.

You frown. “I don’t understand. What are you sorry for?”

“I’ve always been interested in you. And you’re not the sort of person that’s cowed by rank – Paulson is your superior, in your chain of command, but I was in the bar when he asked you to dinner, and you were so sure of yourself when you rejected him. So that day in the turbolift, Una and Erica jumping to conclusions... Your face was a picture, and I had to take Una’s bait. But by the time she told me there was already a rumour, you were joining in, and I—”

His voice goes quiet, like a confession.

“I couldn’t stop. And that wasn’t fair to you… making you an object of gossip like that.”

“Chris, I—” but now it comes to it, you can’t find the words. How do you tell him that you wouldn’t mind, not at all, if only the gossip were real? “But you did stop. We’ve barely spoken today. Until now.”

“I can read the room. You weren’t up for it the other night. Or today. And… I would never force my attentions where they clearly aren’t wanted.”

“But... they are, Chris. They are wanted.”

The cavern is dead quiet, and you almost wonder if you actually spoke aloud. But the look in Pike’s eyes when you finally turn to meet them—

“Lieutenant Spock to Captain Pike. Come in, please.”

Pike shrugs a little, face apologetic, as he flips open his communicator.

The ride back to the Enterprise is as quiet, and bumpy, as the ride to the planet. Spock and the rest of the away team had sheltered in the shuttle with shields up while the storm passed over them, and when the Enterprise’s scanners had shown that another one was forming, they came to pick you up.

All the equipment you left outside was destroyed.

But you think, as you climb in the shuttle, you catch a glimpse of one of those star-shaped flowers, still intact. Still blooming.

And Pike makes a point to catch your eye as you leave the shuttle bay. It’s subtle, but you recognise the invitation.

You think you can smell food as you press Pike’s door chime, and the scent only gets more appetising as you walk in. The lights are low, apart from the fire burning brightly, and Pike pauses, apron on over his gold uniform, to smile at you as you walk over to the kitchen area.

“You came.”

“Of course.”

He picks a small bottle up, and pours from it into a salad bowl in front of him. “I hope you’re hungry… I may have gone a little overboard on the mac and cheese. I thought we could use a little comfort food after that planet.”

“It smells amazing. Anything I can do to help?”

“It’s almost ready. You could pour the wine?” He indicates to the bottle and two glasses on one end of his L shape table. You uncork the chilled bottle and take care of the drinks while he brings plates, salad, and the macaroni cheese, piping hot and smelling delicious.

Sitting next to Chris, rather than opposite like you might at a restaurant or on the other side of the L as you have when you’ve been to crew meals here, feels so intimate. As he reaches over to get some salad, or you go to pick up your glass to sip some chardonnay, you can’t help but touch. You try not to let being this close to him distract you… as intimate as this is, as hopeful as you are, nothing is settled.

You take a bite of your pasta and sigh. “It’s perfect, Chris. Creamy, the cheese— everything. Perfect comfort food. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” You see him relax a little as you load up another forkful; he cares what you think.

You eat for a while in companionable quiet, then he takes a breath.

“I’m planning on demoting Spock. He has the worst timing.” He quirks one of those half smiles at you, the kind that make you melt a little, but then his expression goes serious.

“My position on this ship… I have to be careful of it. Your training – everyone’s training – tells you to do as I say. So, if I’m… interested… in someone, usually I try to set that aside.” He puts his fork down and shakes his head a little. “Clearly I didn’t do well on that score with you. But… I would have to be sure, before I truly pursue anything, that a person isn’t saying yes because of my rank.”

“I told myself that flirting was just a joke between us. That you don’t get involved with your crew. I want it to be real, but when people assumed that it was… It spooked me for a moment there.” You turn to face him more fully, to look into his eyes.

“I understand what it means for you to be Captain Pike. I understand that the Enterprise comes before me. But I felt that—that pull toward you, long before whatever this was started. It’s not your rank, your position of authority, Chris, it’s you.”

Chris stands from his chair, reaching a hand out to you. You stand and take it, his fingers warm in yours, and let him draw you to him, feeling the press of his body all along yours. You stare into his eyes, and see a wonder there that you’re sure he sees in your eyes too – the knowledge that you can finally have this. But then your eyes drift shut as he kisses you, gently, unhurried, savouring the moment.

You part for just a second, and then it gets passionate as you kiss him back, one hand on his chest, while his other hand finds its way to your lower back, holding you tighter. Your lips part, his tongue finds yours and you taste him, and you can’t get enough.

“So I know your shots are up to date,” Chris says, voice gravelly, when you pause for breath. “Would you like to take this to the bedroom?”

“Yes please.” You don’t care if you sound needy; you just want him. He takes your hand again and leads the way.

You are not quite sure what happened to your dress. You remember Chris helping you take it off last night, but quite how it got this crumpled is a bit of a mystery. You lift it up from the floor, and try to shake it out, not very successfully.

“Breakfast is served,” Chris says, looking fresh and neat in his uniform, not a hair out of place. No evidence to be seen of your activities last night, or how little sleep he may have had. “Oh, did you want a new uniform? I can synthesise one.”

“No need. I’ll have time to change in my quarters before shift.” You pull it on and try to smooth your skirt. “Breakfast?”

“Waffles. And real maple syrup. I know this little farm—”

It isn’t far from Pike’s quarters to the turbolift, and the officers in the corridor nod and smile to you as usual. Until you meet Lieutenant Ortegas.

She looks you up and down, taking in your creased dress with a raised brow and a sly smile. “I saw the duty rosters; I know you’re on alpha today. So… you get lucky last night?”

You try to hide your smile, but you feel too good – you don’t really want to.

“Yes, Erica, I did.”

Everyone will know, but you don’t mind. You and Chris are at the start of something special.

[respectthepetty]

Cooking Crush Ep. 9 Cut Scenes

I've been reporting on the missing scenes from YouTube's version of Cooking Crush [first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth], but this week's really takes the cake!

Disclaimer: For those of you who watched the YouTube version and thought Samsee was overreacting, the uncut WeTV version did a much better job of showing why he was upset.

Samsee and Metha argued because Samsee refused to eat until his friends showed up. Metha was hungry and decided to eat, but Samsee kept saying his friends would be back soon.

Metha, who is used to being ditched by his buddies which the show has shown us this several times, tries to convince Samsee to just eat, but Samsee continues to argue with Metha and tells Metha that he actually cares about his friends unlike Metha. Metha takes all of the digs in stride, but Samsee continues to worry about his friends not being there.

Since Metha has eaten while Samsee has waited for his friends, Metha decides to get up to grab dessert, but Samsee gets more upset since Metha is treating Samsee's house like his own and follows Metha. Metha slips and Samsee catches him.

But he promptly drops Metha, to which Metha questions why Samsee would even catch him in the first place if he was just going to let Metha hit the floor by dropping him.

Prem ends up falling asleep in Ten's arms, and when he wakes up, he realizes it is much later and quickly rushes back to Samsee's house after promising to return early the next day.

This is in both versions, but this is why Samsee chokes Metha in the morning because he feels like Metha is making fun of him for being worried that he hasn't seen his friends since Samsee didn't see either friend the night before or the morning after.

Samsee hears Dy's conversation with Fire and supports Dy standing up to, what he believes, is Fire's mean behavior.

Prem, as Metha stated, headed out before everyone woke up to see Ten and make him breakfast.

During breakfast, Ten states he can imagine himself eating this exact breakfast with Prem every day for at least 30 years, and we get to see this image of them eating the same breakfast together in 80 years.

Skip ahead to the cooking show watching at Samsee's and Dy goes downstairs, only to be surprised by Fire who is in his heart-emoji era.

Samsee is in the apartment visibly becoming more anxious worrying about his friends since Prem hasn't arrived yet and Dy is still gone.

This was in both versions, but I greatly appreciate that Dy shared that his father no longer speaks to him because, much like Fire, people tend to believe that happy queers are happy because they are accepted and have people supporting them, but sometimes happy queers are simply happy because we cannot let other people steal our joy and well . . . "fuck them hoes" even if "them hoes" are blood-related family.

So, all-in-all, Samsee was constantly worried about his friends and supportive of them only to find out they were hiding the truth from him when he would have accepted their choices, which was shown by how happy he initially was to finding out that Fire and Dy were seeing each other before it all went to hell in a handbasket.

Come give Samsee a hug, Metha, since y'alls friends keep ditching you two.

[saursoob]

can you do a bf!yeonjun apologizing after an argument? please make it super fluffy!

❤︎ |i love you much more| ❤︎

yess ofc anon!! idk if this good enough but pls enjoy 💗

warnings: y/n is a overthinker, yeonjun refers to y/n as “pretty girl”

@saursoob reblogs r okay! please don’t repost

you and your bf yeonjun haven’t been hanging out much as of recently now that he’s been traveling for tour. you’ve been very supportive of his job but its been lonely. when you first started dating it was bearable but the more you got used to him in your life that started to change.

but you can imagine how ecstatic you were when you found out he was he finally coming home. you decided to get ready, putting on some light makeup even though it was late. you and yeonjun had been together for a over a year now but you still wanted to look your nice for him as its been a while since you’ve last seen him. as you were getting ready you received a text from your bf, yeonjun: “y/n im not going over today im super tired. ily” you pouted at his text feeling upset that he wasn’t coming but more confused if anything “he always comes over and “ily?” why didn’t he say the whole word?” ultimately you decide to push your thoughts away and respond back. y/n: “its alright. rest well!”

-

the next morning you text him to hopefully make up for the previous day of him not going to see you. y/n: “junnie come over today! i miss youu”

yeonjun: “i have a busy schedule today but ill try.” your heart sank at his cold laced tone. why is he being so weird? if hes mad at me he should just tell me. you sigh and put down your phone, scrolling on netflix to watch something to make you feel better

more under cut!!

hours later you hear a knock on your door, you secretly hoped it was your boyfriend even though you’re slightly mad at him. “hey” he says while you open the door, it was him. he goes in for a hug, barely even touching you when he does but you didn’t say anything.

“why are you here?” you asked him. silence filled the room as he went to lay down on your couch, taking out his phone and mindlessly scrolling on it. you looked at him in disbelief, aggravated on why he was acting like this. “yeonjun, are you mad at me or something?” you tried to keep your voice composed but failed to, your words coming out shaky.

“why would i be mad at you?” yeonjun says, not fully paying attention to you still looking at his phone.

“i dont know? yesterday you didn’t come over to see me which you never do, didn’t even bother to call but instead texting me and not even saying i love you properly?! and now you are here but you don’t even hug me properly either?? yeonjun, you were gone for so long leaving me here to miss you but you don’t even seem like you’ve missed me! ” you got so angry that unknowingly you started tearing up.

yeonjun immediately focused all his attention to you, standing up to face you. cupping your face with his hands and wiping a tear with his thumb, “darling, please don’t cry. im sorry i didn’t even realize that i didn’t hug you properly.” he says in a soft spoken voice while going in to hug you tightly.

“yesterday i was so jet lagged that i just went home ready to knock out for the night. i know this is no excuse for it but work has been so tough lately, tour’s, dance practice, schedule, interview appearances. its just a lot but please y/n i’ve missed you so much.”

he says while softly lifting your jaw for you to look at him “i’ve missed you more than anything, so please don’t think that i didn’t.”

you answer looking away from him, “yeonjun, could’ve have slept here.”

“i know and im sorry babe i wont do it again i promise.” he says leaving a peak on your nose

“lets make up for it right now, yeah?” yeonjun leads you to your bedroom, laying down first and patting on his chest signaling for you to lay down on him, you do as he signaled, getting comfortable on his chest.

“you know this isn’t gonna make up for it choi yeonjun” to which he chuckles at, “mmm i know, what if i make you breakfast in bed in the morning lovely?” you cant help but light up at his comment “you’re staying the night?! you don’t have any schedules in the morning tomorrow?”

“nope” he smiles looking down at you “you did say i have to make it up to you, right?”

after a while of being in the comfort of his chest and hearing his heartbeat yeonjun suddenly sighs deeply, playing with your hair. “you have no idea how much i love you y/n.” making you smile in a sleepy haze

“ i love you much more, yeonjun.”

!! reblogs are vv appreciated !!

ENDD!! im actually so nervous to post this since im not that confident in my writing but if you enjoyed thank you so much 😣 <33

[chellestrash]

Private Matters

Chapter IV (18+)

Cam Boy! Frank Castle x Female Reader

Story summary: After stumbling upon a cam website one night you quickly discover your favorite streamer. Unable to get the thoughts and images of him out of your mind you decide to become a supporter and the two of you grow closer to each other over time. Things get complicated when your close friend, neighbor and crush decides to express his feelings for you.

Chapter summary: Its finally the day. Your date with Frank is happening and you couldn't be happier. Everything is perfect...right? Well, everything except for a very small detail you can't get out of your head, and you're not sure how to tell him.

Chapter Warnings: Explicit language, explicit sexual content, swearing, alcohol, slight angst.

Word count: 4.1k

A/N: Thank you for all the support for this series i’m so so sorry it takes me so long to get the chapters out! I work, I’m busy i had a lot to do but it’s finally here! Chapter IV. I hope you’ll enjoy it, comments, reblogs and feedback are always so so appreciated, i love reading what you guys thing about it! Thank you @chelseasdagger for all the work and support!

Date with Frank.

That’s the first thing on your mind the moment you get out of bed that day and the main thing on your mind throughout the morning. It didn't really seem like one of those things you could shove to the back of your head and not think about it for the rest of the day. Whether you liked it or not, you kept coming back to the moment he asked you, and the moment you agreed. Your friend mentioned she couldn't possibly tell which one of you looked happier about it, and that little detail she was kind enough to point out, made your cheeks get warmer every time your brain reminded you about it.

“Stupid.”

You mumble out, catching yourself getting more excited about this than you'd like to admit.

“Morning.”

You send a quick text to Frank and the reply comes in almost instantly.

“Hey! Today still happening?”

You catch yourself smiling at your phone and quickly clear your throat, attempting to shake off the excitement again.

“Yeah, haven't changed my mind since yesterday.”

“Okay, good, can stop worrying now.”

“Frank castle worried? About me?”

You chuckle at his short response.

“Shut up.”

“So you have anything going on today?”

He follows up before you can type out an answer.

“Oh, just this date later on, probably around 8? You don't know the guy, you wouldn't like him. His name is Frank?”

“...”

“Smartass.”

You feel the butterflies in your stomach as you picture his slightly annoyed expression, and then roll your eyes at your own feelings. Sitting here, smiling at the texts on your phone? Really?

“So 8?”

He asks, and you send another message confirming the hour.

“See you at 8 then?”

“See you at 8.”

You smile again before grabbing your cheeks to fight back the smile.

“Stop it!”

You fight with yourself for another moment before setting your phone down on the table and deciding to take care of everything that needs to get done, just so you wouldn’t have to think about other things during the date. A little favor for your future self.

***

The day goes by relatively quickly, and before you know it, it’s time to start getting ready. You pick an outfit—nothing too fancy but not too plain either, a nice pair of flattering pants and a slightly tight-fitting shirt. You’re only grabbing a couple beers, some drinks…with Frank…your Frank. The realization makes you feel gradually more tense as the time approaches 8pm. You feel thankful when your phone goes off and quickly check the text that just came through.

“Leaving my place now.”

You read and chuckle at the thought of Frank, your next door neighbor, texting you the moment he leaves his flat to let you know he's on his way…in the hall, to pick you up.

Seconds later, Frank knocks on your door and you quickly make your way over to let him in.

“You got my text?”

He asks, pointing at his phone, and you shake your head in disbelief.

“Yeah, thanks for letting me know so I'd have time to get ready.”

Frank smiles, and something in that smile makes your knees a little weaker. His outfit is similarly casual to yours, jeans and a shirt you haven't seen him in before. Did he buy it?

“Oh, you're so welcome.”

Frank's eyes glance over you as he looks you up and down, unable to stop himself.

"Shit."

He whispers and you frown.

"That bad, huh?"

"What?"

Frank asks, confused, almost worried.

"You said ‘Shit’."

"What? Oh! Shit no! No no, no no just- I-I you-"

He sighs, dropping his head low before glancing up at you.

"Listen, I just - think you look great...it slipped out."

"Mhm."

You nod with a smile, deciding to stop teasing that poor man, at least for now.

"So do you, Frank."

"Naaah, not next to you."

Shaking your head again, you grab your phone and quickly check yourself in the mirror one last time.

“You ready?”

Frank nods and takes a step to the side, getting out of your way to let you out of your apartment.

“Yes ma’am.”

**

It would be a lie if you told yourself you never wondered what a date with Frank would look like. You never really thought it would actually happen, but you did wonder, you couldn't help it. Whether you wanted to admit it or not, you've thought about him in that context. You had ideas, but you'd never think it would feel this…natural? Comfortable?

Frank seemed a bit nervous at first, just like he did a couple of days ago before actually asking you out, but that didn't bother you. You were nervous for a moment at first too, but quickly relaxed as the conversation flowed, the jokes landed and the music at the bar worked for both you and your date.

Frank was, actually, probably one of the best dates you've had in a while. Not sure why you'd expect anything different, you knew how good of a friend he was. The whole evening he looked after you, making sure you were safe and comfortable. His eyes never left you as he listened to your stories, answered your questions and laughed at your jokes.

The laugh reminded you of something, something or someone you couldn't really work out at that moment, but it sounded familiar. Not familiar in a way that you've heard Frank laugh before, of course you did, but…there was something more to that familiarity. Since you couldn't work it out, you decided to ignore it for the time being, focusing back on the man on the opposite side of the small bar table.

“You come here often, then?”

Frank speaks out a bit louder than usual, trying to talk over the live music, after looking around the interior of the place.

“Why? Wanna ask me out?”

You smirk, sucking the straw from your cocktail into your mouth. You watch his head drop with a loud laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, something like that.”

“Ahhh… I don't know if you're my type.”

“Oh really? What's your type, then?”

Frank looks up, waiting for you to keep talking.

“Oh you know, big guys, scary looking, assholes…you know what? That sounds a bit like you?”

He scoffs, looking off to the side, shaking his head before looking back at you.

“Really?”

You nod, a big smile still on your face.

“Yeah, but it's fine. Like I said, that's kinda my type.”

Frank smirks, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah? And how's that working out for you?"

Your mouth falls open and he laughs loudly, you follow soon after.

"Well...I’d say pretty damn well, managed to get you out."

"Oh, you got me out?"

"Mhm."

You continue to tease him.

"Oh, that's interesting, yeah, that's good to know."

"Yeah?"

You ask innocently, and Frank laughs quietly, the crinkles by his eyes so prominent when you make him smile. He raises his hand to order another beer for himself and a drink for you.

***

“So, what's your type?”

You ask when Frank gets back from the bar with drinks for both of you.

“My type?”

You nod quickly, curious.

“Don't really have one.”

You give him the look that can only mean a slightly disappointed “really?” and he quickly continues.

“Why'd you wanna know? Wanna ask me out?”

He plays your card, and you feel your whole face lighting up.

“I don't knoooow, maybe? So, will you tell me?”

Frank takes a drink from the beer bottle and for a second you get lost in the way his lips wrap around the rim, his Adam’s apple moving with every sip, and you have to stop your thoughts from taking you somewhere else. He frowns, knowing you well enough to assume you wouldn't just give up on the question.

“Right, tell you what.”

He starts, scrunching up his nose before he bites into his lip. He spins you around, so you face the dart board on a wall on the other side of the bar.

“You win that, you get an answer “

You think about the offer and look back at him over your shoulder.

“Bit of a shitty move since I already told you mine.”

He scoffs, shaking his head with a big smile, before giving you another moment to decide.

“What if I lose?”

You ask and he shrugs.

“You buy the next beer.”

You pretend to ponder on the offer for another moment before nodding slowly.

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

***

At the end of the night, Frank offers you his jacket and you two make your way back to your building. Walking right by your side the entire time, Frank makes sure to keep your arms linked together. By doing this, he keeps you close, safe and warm the entire time. You think back to the many times you've walked this road on your own and feel thankful for having Frank by your side at this moment.

“Want me to walk you home?”

He asks when you stop by the door to his apartment out of habit.

“You mean to the other end of the hall?”

You point over your shoulder, and he tilts his head to the side with that goddamn smile. The smile that can make you so comfortable and so nervous at the same time, you feel insane sometimes.

“Yeah, okay, I could get jumped on my way there or something.”

You turn around and Frank follows, hands in his pockets, his shoulder touching yours as he walks by your side.

“Or trip.”

He points out, and you huff out a quiet laugh.

“I didn't drink THAT much.”

You lean on your door, resting your back against it and look up at the man in front of you.

“So.”

You nod towards your apartment.

“This is me.”

“Oh yeah?”

Franks inspects the door like he's seeing it for the first time.

“Mhm.”

You wait a moment, expecting him to start talking again. But Frank turns back to you, stepping forward, a bit closer now, looking down into your eyes. You feel your heart jump slightly, your pulse getting a little faster as your eyes drop to his lips before glancing back up into his gaze.

“Listen the-"

He starts, his brows furrowing as he tries to pick the right words.

“Was nice…the date, I mean I-you.”

He sighs. Looking off to the side, he shakes his head at his own words, before turning back to face you.

“You had fun?”

A simple question followed by a slight tilt of his head that makes him look probably the least intimidating you've ever seen him look. Almost like a puppy, trying to figure out the words spoken to them by their owner.

You nod, confirming your answer with a sly smirk.

“I meaaaan…could've been worse, you did good, Castle.”

“Yeah?”

Frank asks, and you catch him now glancing down at your lips.

“Mhm.”

You nod, it's gentle this time, and your lips part slightly as you decide to lean closer towards him.

“And you? Hmm?”

There's no real reason to ask now, not when you can clearly see the words fly over his head. A silent nod from him remains your only response as the distance between you two closes slowly.

“Mhm.”

He answers, and you chuckle, squinting your eyes as you lean your head to the side, now taking the lead in the conversation.

“Yeah?”

You nod, questioning him again, and Frank repeats your movements. His eyes are not leaving your lips; yours not living his, as you two move closer and closer together.

“So, do you-”

He starts, and you agree silently, your breathing speeding up as you feel your heart pounding harder in your chest now. Leaning back on the door, you hand the key over to Frank, and he unlocks it before pushing it open the moment you pull him into the kiss.

“Shit.”

Frank mumbles out your name, pulling you closer to him before kicking the door shut, his hand now resting on the side of your waist.

“You sure about this?”

“Frank, please?”

You mumble against him and feel his lips pressing against yours almost immediately. His hand rests on the side of your neck, his fingers brushing over the side of your jaw as he holds you close to him.

“Oh, shit”

He starts.

“Mmm.”

A quiet hum slips past your mouth as you feel his tongue pushing past your lips.

“Mmm, fuck-”

You whine despite your better judgment. Your hand drops between his legs and you rub over the bulge in his pants. Frank's hips push into your hand, and when you push your palm against him harder, his lips slip away from you. A loud grunt against the side of your neck.

“Shit, Sweetheart.”

The pet name almost makes you whine out loud, but you attempt to stop yourself as your thoughts conveniently send you back to one of the livestreams you've watched before.

Your eyes shoot open, and you shake yourself out of it, glancing down at Frank. His lips are still on your neck, making it easier to focus on him again.

You cup his face to tilt him up and Frank stands up, straighter in front of you now. Pulling you closer to him again, his lips find yours, and you two stumble towards the couch in the middle of your living room. Frank hooks one arm around your waist, his forearm and palm pushing against your back, before lifting you up.

You gasp, holding onto him as he sets you down on the couch. You lay on your back, your heart speeding up and your breathing shortening as you watched him unbuckle his belt. Your legs push together while your brain once again reminds you of a similar scene from one of the livestreams. You fight the urge to close your eyes and focus on the thought and, instead, reach out to gesture for Frank to come closer.

“Come here.”

You whisper under your breath, and Frank lets you pull him closer. Leaning over you, he spreads your legs open, pushing his thighs between yours before his hand holds your face again and the kisses resume.

Pushing back the guilt slowly rising inside you, you focus on the buttons of Frank's shirt, pushing your legs together slightly as you feel the weight of him grinding against you.

His hands slip under your shirt and you lift your arms up, allowing him to slip the fabric up and off of your chest. After tossing the shirt onto the floor, Frank quickly gets rid of his as well. His eyes jump around your face, and you fight the urge to avoid eye contact for a while before finally looking away.

“You okay?”

He sounds concerned, and his question makes you feel even worse. You can't explain it, not now, not here. You're not even completely sure if you'd be able to explain this properly if he wasn't kneeling between your legs with his cock hard against his pants, panting loudly as he waits for your answer.

You nod quickly, giving him a not-so-convincing smile, before scolding yourself in your own head.

“Yeah, yeah.”

You buck your hips up slightly, and Frank watches you move underneath him. The smile is gone now, so you assume he suspects something. With his hand brushing up and down the side of your body, fingers drawing on top of your ribs, he leans over you, his lips right on your neck again. You tilt your head off to the side, inviting him to deepen the kiss, and he follows. Attempting to help yourself focus on what's happening, you cup his face in your palm and tilt it up, kissing him fast and hard, hoping it'll help.

Why couldn't you just focus on this? Why did he have to somehow remind you of those moments you've seen before? Why couldn't you just stop your brain from making you think about the guy from the website? You weren't sure, but you knew you wanted this now, here, and with Frank. You did it; you've been wanting to for a while now, but somehow something didn't feel right. The guilt you felt about letting your mind slip to another guy while Frank was right here with you didn't allow you to focus on this moment, on what was happening, on what was in front of you, and on him.

You still wanted this; you felt good, you wanted Frank, but with your thoughts racing through your mind faster and faster, you felt your body gradually shutting off.

“Frank?”

You pull away quickly. His lips move down to your neck and he hums against your skin. You tilt your head back and whine quietly at the feeling before the guilt hits you again.

“Frank, stop just-”

You start again, this time pushing on his shoulder slightly to get his attention, and he pulls away immediately. Raising his hands in the air with an apologetic expression and worried glance, he stops everything he was doing.

“You okay?”

The softness of his voice makes the guilt skyrocket, and you feel the need to apologize.

“I'm sorry-”

“Hey, no, no, don't you-”

Frank sits up on the couch, moving away from you in order to give you as much space as you need in case he did something wrong, overstepped a boundary, or hurt you.

“Did I-”

You don't give him a chance to finish the question, not being able to think about him blaming himself for this.

“No! No, no, Frank, oh my god, no it-”

Hiding your face in your hands, you attempt to calm yourself down. The whole situation feels so ridiculous that you don't even know how to begin to explain it to him.

“God no, Frank, it's only my fault.”

“No, sweetheart, don't-hey, listen to me if I-”

That goddamn pet name. He swallows hard, and you watch his eyes flutter across your face.

“I-I-I hurt you.”

“No, Frank.”

“In any way.”

He continues, speaking over you.

“If I did, you just tell me, okay? Just, just tell me, so I know what I did and what-”

"No, it's me! It's me, Frank, I-"

He looks up, letting you talk this time. You speak loudly, thinking through the words you're about to say in an attempt to explain this ridiculous situation and the heavy, guilty feeling now stuck right in the middle of your chest.

“There's a guy.”

You swallow hard, knowing how dumb that sounds considering what the “guy” does.

“I talk to... sometimes I...I don't know why this is so stupid.”

“A guy?”

Frank repeats your words. He doesn't sound angry; he doesn't really sound like anything if you think about it.

"Yeah, I don't even know him like that, I mean, I do, but I…”

“From the bar?”

He attempts to guess, and it catches you slightly off guard.

“What? No, oh MY god, NO?”

You give him a disgusted look, shaking your head, and he scoffs quietly. The atmosphere seems to be loosening slightly.

“You think of me that bad, Castle?”

You joke, and he just shakes his head softly.

“So…”

You proceed with your explanation.

“A guy I talk to sometimes and we…”

You look at Frank, hoping he'd understand whatever broken-up sentences you manage to throw at him, even though it seems nearly impossible.

“Hook up?”

He guesses again, wrong.

“...No!"

"Sweetheart, you gotta give me something."

"It's just like...phone, video stuff, I guess.”

You finally get it off your chest. Feeling fucking terrible about the whole thing, you stare down at your hands, picking at your fingers as you wait for him to say something, anything.

A scoff. A scoff and a loud giggle is what you get. Turning your face in his direction immediately, you find yourself unsure of what to say or how to comment on his reaction.

“Phone stuff? Jesus… Christ, you...had me thinking."

You can't believe him.

Your jaw drops at this man's audacity, and you have to stop yourself from commenting on it.

“What? I had you thinking, what?!”

“Thought it was something serious!”

He laughs, and so do you, still unable to believe him.

“You asshole!”

You push him, and he leans to the side slightly before moving back closer to you.

“Oh my god.”

You cup your face in your hands and take a second to question all your previous life choices that somehow lead you to this very moment.

“You probably think I'm fucking crazy.”

You finally speak up, turning your face slightly to watch him.

“Nah.”

Frank shakes his head before turning to face you.

“I think it's sweet.”

You can't stop the smile. The corners of your lips rise as the overwhelming tension and anxiety leave your body, and you both sit in silence for another moment.

“Sorry I fucked this up.”

You speak quietly after a moment of silence. A deep sigh follows as you rethink what you just said, feeling the guilt take over your mind again.

Frank frowns, his eyebrows pull together as he silently disagrees with your words.

“Fucked what up?”

“The day? The evening? The date?”

“You didn't fuck up more than me. Late, spilled the beer, lost at the goddamn darts.”

You cover your mouth, but the quiet chuckle slips past your fingers at the situation from only a couple of hours ago. Frank quickly turns to face you, his finger pointing right at you in a threatening way.

“Don't.”

He whispers, and you lift your hands above your head, attempting to prove your innocence.

“We won't talk about that.”

He mumbles under his breath, frown still on his face, and you nod with a smile.

“I promise.”

The tone of your voice makes the corner of his lip lift slightly before he turns to face you again. His features are softer now, there's no sarcasm or irony, just Frank. He sighs quietly, and so do you.

“You should rest.”

He speaks quietly. It's not a whisper, but it feels like one, quiet and gentle, comforting, and you watch as he stands up, leaving you alone on your couch. You second guess your choice to tell him all of this one more time, longing for him to stay a little longer before quickly pushing yourself off the couch and following him to the door. Frank zips up his pants, buttons his shirt and steps out into the corridor. You stay hidden behind the door since you chose not to cover yourself with your pants after you two stopped making out. Everything indicated that he's leaving, he's out of your apartment now, the date is over, this didn't work out and yet…the conversation continues.

You stand in the doorway, your quiet words fill the corridor with the floor both you and Frank live on, but they're not loud enough for anyone to understand them clearly. Not loud enough for anyone to interrupt. The conversion quickly turns into short chuckles and gentle laughs and when Frank glances up at you with that one smile, you feel yourself breaking apart.

“You want to…stay over for a bit longer, actually?”

You ask, and he shakes his head with a quiet scoff.

“I don't know, you got beer?”

“Wine.”

He nods.

“What kind?”

“Rosé.”

You answer, fighting back a little smile as he pretends to be impressed.

“Oh, shit! Hardcore stuff.”

You shake your head, visibly offended, and pull the door open some more, inviting him back inside.

“At least if we get hammered, I don't have to walk far.”

He points out, and you roll your eyes jokingly, your body relaxing as you sigh deeply, relieved.

You spend the next couple of hours on your couch with Frank. It's not awkward, it's not upsetting, it's not…disappointing and somehow neither of you mention or even think about what happened in the same spot not even hours ago. With a decent amount of alcohol in your body, the tiredness slowly begins to take over. You lean into Frank, resting your head on his shoulder, and he doesn't protest. He even sits up slightly and wraps his arm around your waist in an attempt to make you more comfortable. With the heat of his body right beside you, you let your eyes fall shut, unable to fight the tiredness any longer.

“You wanna…try the date thing again some other time?”

Exhausted from the anxiety, adrenaline and alcohol, you snuggle up into him and without the energy to accidentally mess this up, you answer with exactly how you honestly feel. You whisper out a quiet- “Mhm. I’d like that.”.

“Yeah?”

Frank slowly rubs your shoulder with his palm.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

Frank feels his muscles relax under the weight of your body. Leaning down, he presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head before whispering -“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

taglist 

@chelseasdagger @lorilane33 @dreadfulxives18 @5thelement @desert-fern

@joybabyjune @ohgodthebogisback 

@barnesbabee @babeincolor @liadamerondjarin @therashslingingslasher @lostfleur

[katepakulak]

One Direction Imagine: Seizure

Summary: When the workload leads to a medical emergency, the boys are there to take care of you.

Word Count: 941

CW: seizure, hospitals

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Being in One Direction is a dream come true.

It's also the hardest thing you've ever done in your life. The work is incredibly fun, but also extremely grueling. You have expectations on you for every waking minute. There's hardly time for a break or rest.

When you do sleep, it's often on a bus, and never quite as restful as you hope.

Halfway through the current tour, you begin to really feel the exhaustion. Not only are you and the boys doing a show nearly every day, but you're also recording the next album. On the rare occasions when you have a night in a hotel, you're often woken up to re-record something.

You can tell you're not the only one who is getting run down, but you also feel like the boys are handling it better than you are.

So you keep quiet, not wanting to complain to them when they all have their own stuff going on as well.

What you don't know is how they've noticed how drained you are, and have talked amongst them about it. They're worried, but they have no clue how to help. So they try to take care of you in subtle ways.

Liam is always making sure you have water or some sort of power drink, reminding you how important it is to stay hydrated.

Niall gets you food any time he grabs some for himself. He'd noticed you would skip meals on occasion and decided he couldn't allow that on his watch.

Zayn asks you to meditate with him, saying that he does better with a partner. You don't realize that he often does this when you're most stressed, and he really wants to get you to take a minute to breathe.

Louis gets into shenanigans, making you laugh and reminding you that not everything needs to be serious all the time.

Harry asks you to hang on the couch with him on the rare times you get breaks. He'll wrap an arm around you and tell a story. Sometimes you sit and listen, sometimes you take a power nap. Either way he's happy to help you get some rest whenever possible.

But all of that isn't enough. There's something going on in your body that no one can see. You start to get dizzy, and these spells become more frequent.

Each of the boys have caught you more than once at this point, always helping you sit down to make sure you don't get hurt. Their worry heightens every time this happens.

And then things get worse.

It's early morning, and you had yet another fitful night of sleep on the bus. You head to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, and find Harry and Liam already there. They wish you a good morning, and you go to say the same, but find yourself unable to form words. That's when your world goes dark.

Harry rushes to break your fall, and notices this isn't like the other dizzy spells. Before he gets you safely to the ground you begin to shake in his arms.

"Oh my god," Liam says. "She's having a seizure. Get her on her side, quickly!" The two of them move you, cushioning your head and making sure there's nothing nearby you can hit as you continue to have convulsions.

The other three boys rush into the kitchen, having heard Liam shouting.

"What the hell is going on?" Louis asks.

Liam is quick to explain, saying, "She's having a seizure. Louis, call an ambulance, Niall call management and tell them what's going on. Zayn get the driver to pull over." They all do as they're told while Harry continues to support you. After nearly two minutes, the seizing stops, but you're still quite out of it.

You don't fully come to for a while, and by that point you're in the hospital, Harry by your side and security standing by the door.

"Hey there," Harry says. "How are you feeling?"

"Uhm, okay I think?" you reply. "What happened?"

"You had a seizure. Scared the shit out of us," he answers with a chuckle, letting you know he's not actually mad.

"Sorry about that."

"Hey, don't apologize. We just want to figure out what's going on with you and help you get better, okay?"

Before you can answer, a doctor walks in. She introduces herself and asks you a bunch of questions. When she asks if you know where you are you reply, "Unfair question, I never know where I am." Your cheeky reply let's Harry know you're feeling better, and you share a smile at the inside joke.

After a full workup you're discharged with orders to see a neurologist. The other boys are waiting, somewhat impatiently, for you to get back to them. You're informed that the upcoming week of shows have been postponed so you can rest, and you know that the boys fought hard to make that happen.

You spend the week in a hotel, and though you each have your own room, everyone piles into yours. They watch you for any signs that you're about to have another seizure, and Liam goes with you to your neurologist appointment in order to fill the doctor in on everything that happened.

You don't have answers yet, but you find that you're not worried. Not when you have the biggest support team there to take care of you. And though your job is hard, and at times overwhelming, you wouldn't trade it for the world. Not when it led you to find the people who will be there for you, no matter what.

AN: thank you to the tumblr user @merrybloomwrites for this 

[jackabbot]

2023 Writing Round-Up 💫

• 15 fics / 138.6k words posted; out of which 8 fics / 67.8k were buddie

Phew, it's been such a productive year, especially the second half, thank you for everyone who tagged along for the ride!! 🤗

(also I'm doing it in reverse order because... well if you know, you know 😪)

•December•

we’ve got something permanent (i mean in the way we care) [buddie, 7.1k, Explicit]

Buck has baby fever and it’s Eddie’s job to give him what he wants. Kind of.

Keep My Heart Warm In Yours [buddie, 18.5k, Mature]

Christopher decides that he wants to go skiing, Buck makes it happen and the cabin at the foot of the mountains turns out to be quite the romantic backdrop for their little getaway.

Of Love, Hospital Jitters And Christmas Lights [buddie, 6.3k, Teen + Up]

Eddie and Buck end up in the hospital waiting room a few days before Christmas.

You Ring, I Drool [buddie, 8.6k, Explicit]

5+1 times Buck reminds Eddie of a dog // alternatively; the one in which Eddie accidentally conditions Buck to beg for treats

If This Is What The Season Is Bringing [buddie, 2k, Teen + Up]

Buck and Eddie made a promise after Eddie decided to leave the 118 and they finally make good on it this Christmas.

•November•

Out Of Order, Still In Line [buddie, 6.2k, Explicit]

When Buck finally gets to the Clinic, the long awaited release doesn’t seem to come; cue Eddie to the rescue.

'Cause I'm still seeing colours that are red (If I close my chest and let it take me) [steddie, 11.4k, Explicit]

Ever since they came back from the Upside Down, Steve has been struggling on rainy days, but Eddie’s there to provide support and a maybe even a little more than that. - Project #182 of Steddie Bigbang 2023

How It Was Meant To Be [steddie, <1k, Gen]

Steve's casually calling Eddie 'baby' all the time, without even registering what he’s doing.

•October•

I Was Betting On Forever (But Forever Comes And Goes) [buddie, 4k, Teen + Up]

Eddie gets a call from Buck in the middle of the night and it’s about as bad as one would expect.

It gets better, it gets worse [steddie, 52.7k, Explicit]

Steve tried to tell Eddie how he felt, only to get shut down immediately. Now meeting for the first time in a year, they have to figure out how to be around each other.

Coming On Ever So Strong / Coming Off Ever So Soft [buddie, 14.7k, Explicit]

They get drunk, Eddie makes a move and then there is the next morning.

•July•

But where they lay, they cannot stay [radskier, 4.3k, Explicit]

Jaskier comes to Tretogor and meets Radovid for the first time in months, but their reunion is bittersweet given how much everything has changed since they’ve last seen each other.

•May•

Helping hands (are better than praying lips) [steddie, 5.5k, Explicit]

Eddie breaks his arms and Steve is on nurse duty. [cw for watersports]

•February•

Who we are in the dark [steddie, 3.4k, Explicit]

It's their first anniversary and they go to the cinema.

•January•

It might walk like a duck [steddie, 10k, Explicit]

Eddie Munson is a busy man, busy enough to have a planner. Steve misses his friend so he hijacks said planner, learning something unexpected in the process.

Aaand that's all, folks! 💛 Now, here are some tags:

I was tagged by the lovely @wikiangela and @jamespearce9-1-1 thank you~ 💛

(these guys went in so early and I left it for the last minute lmao but just in case you missed their round-ups, you can read them: here and here)

✨tagging (if you've already done it, no worries and still no pressure otherwise either): @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @jeeyuns @eddiebabygirldiaz @hippolotamus @daffi-990 @disasterbuckdiaz @nmcggg @thewolvesof1998 @watchyourbuck @theotherbuckley @fortheloveofbuddie @ladydorian05 @rainbow-nerdss

[quicksilverarchive]

Mellow

1.464 words, Chronic pain and fluff

Back to master post

The shitty thing about wounds is that they never really “heal”. They always leave something behind, scars, pain, memories, it never goes back to how it was before really. And that makes winter an especially shit time.

It's been a year since the war, a week short of a year since it ended, and that in itself comes with its own unpleasant connotations, but the worst thing about it right now is the weather. The cold came quite quickly, and while Kora is most familiar with it, it does not come as great news when most bones in your arm were shattered to pieces not even a year ago. The pain comes and goes, most days it's dull and persistent, other times it comes in sharp bursts, but he's had to live with worse, so he's not one for making a fuss. Tonight, however, is especially bad, and tonight, more than other nights, he cannot complain about it. Malani is sleeping next to him, his arms wrapped around Kora, and if it weren't for the pain, this would be absolute bliss. So he shuts up and doesn't move. He's at least thankful that he's laying on his right side, laying directly on the troublesome arm might bring on an even more unpleasant experience. The room is nice and warm, but outside the rain is heavy, so he has that to blame for the sharp stinging in his shoulder and arm.

Time passes far too slowly. He can't move to grab his phone out of fear of waking up his boyfriend, he doesn't have any clock in sight, and the pain is only ever getting worse. He shifts in place slowly, trying to make himself more comfortable, without much success, he tries to readjust himself, but he's perpetually uncomfortable. He sighs quietly. This won't do. He has half a mind to just go outside and pace around the building until the morning, but he surely can't do that in the clothes he's in right now, and changing would make too much noise. He decides to risk trying to grab his phone off the nightstand instead, he tries to use his right arm to get Malani's off of him, but with the way they're laying, that proves to be quite tricky. He keeps trying, making slow progress in wiggling away from his boyfriend. He startles when Malani's arm moves, it slides up his chest and Malani pulls closer to him. Kora freezes. Malani groans.

“Kora, love?” He mumbles, his voice is raspy. Kora isn't even breathing, hoping he'll just go back to sleep. “Are you awake?”

Malani pulls his arm away from his body, then rubs his shoulder lightly. It hurts, Kora breathes in sharply, pulling away from the touch.

“Kora,” Malani speaks in a low tone. The sheets behind Kora ruffle, and he can feel Malani move.

“Yeah, I'm awake,” he replies hesitantly, barely louder than a whisper.

“Everything all right?”

“Mhm. Arm hurts but ’ts fine.” Malani is quiet, and Kora regrets saying it out loud. “M’ okay, I didn't mean to wake you,” he adds.

“Hm. You can't sleep?” Malani runs a hand down his back.

“I'm fine. Just… we should go back to sleep.”

“Is there anything I can do?” he asks instead, and Kora sighs.

“It'll pass.”

“Painkillers?” Malani mumbles.

“No,” Kora says, maybe a bit too fast.

“They don't help?”

“They might, it's just…” Kora slowly turns to lay on his back, groaning. The pain lessens slightly, the support of the mattress under his arm seems to help. He turns his head to look at Malani, who's propped up on his elbow. “It hurts so often these days, so I can't just take painkillers every time.”

Malani lays his head back down, and they're at the same level again.

“Why? If it helps you sleep…”

“Temazepam helped me sleep, and look how that ended,” he quips. “I don't want a repeat. I've dealt with worse.”

Malani reaches to caress his face and Kora sighs again, turning his head away before he can touch him.

“I'm sorry I woke you. Don't stay awake for my sake, please. There's nothing either of us can do. And it's not that bad, it hurts less when I lie on my back.”

“You can't sleep on your back…”

“It's fine,” Kora bites. “Just… It's fine. I didn't mean to wake you.”

“I don't mind, you know?” Malani yawns. “Being awake. I hope I'm at least good company if nothing else.”

“You will mind in the morning.”

“Come on, I've ran on far less sleep.”

Kora sighs again, running his right hand over his face.

“Will you please just drop this? There is nothing you can do, and I already feel like fucking shit for waking you up.”

“Sorry,” Malani says quietly. “It's just, I can't really just go back to sleep knowing that you can't. And I really don't mind. In fact, I'd rather be awake.”

Kora doesn't reply, he stares at the ceiling. A jolt of sharp pain surges through his shoulder and closes his eyes, grits his teeth, and purses his lips. It lessens after a second, but it doesn't get any better than before.

“Can I tell you something?” Malani asks quietly. “Since we're both awake anyways.”

Kora makes an affirmative sound and nods, opening his eyes to look at him.

“Maybe not the best time to bring this up.” Malani laughs quietly. “But years ago, when we were together for the first time, on the night before you got arrested…” He breathes in slowly, his eyes dart to the side. “I don't know if you remember, but you woke up in the middle of the night and started crying. And I woke up I think around the same time you did, so I heard you go out on the balcony, and I heard you… sobbing. And I… I never heard you cry like that before, and I didn't know what to do, so I just… pretended to still be asleep.”

Kora looks at him, he remembers that night, of course he does, but Malani wasn't supposed to-

“And I never brought it up because, I don't know, I thought things would just go back to normal but… Well, we both know what happened.”

“Oh, feik[1]…” Kora reaches out his right hand to cup Malani's face. “Honey, there was nothing you could've done back then either.”

“I could've been there. I want to be here.” Malani grabs his hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing it. “I don't want you to feel like a burden, my love. I want to help. And if I can't, I want to at least keep you company.”

“Sometimes I need space.” Kora pulls his hand from Malani's, resting it on his own chest.

“Do you now?”

“No…” he hesitantly admits. “If it gets too quiet my mind starts to wander.”

“Then I'll just keep you company. I got nothing important going on in the morning.”

Kora laughs drily.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“My dear, you are a kind, amazing person who deserves this and so much more,” Malani replies softly.

“You may or may not be extremely biased.” Kora laughs again, this time with more heart.

“Mm, is that such a bad thing?” Malani smiles, closing his eyes. “Want me to move to the other side of the bed so you can put your head on my chest?”

“Mm, yeah. Yeah, sure.”

Malani gets up slowly, circling the bed and sitting back down on Kora's right, and Kora is thankful that the bed is big enough for him to not need to move. His boyfriend lies back down, nearly curling around him, and helps Kora readjust himself to lean on him.

“There, easy,” Malani directs him, Kora groans and grits his teeth but when he’s finally got his boyfriend’s arm around him and his heartbeat right under his head, he decides it was worth it. Malani’s hand climbs into his hair, gently massaging his scalp.

“This okay?” he asks, and Kora hums in response, leaning into the touch. He doesn’t love lying on his back, but if anything, this will make it at least tolerable. Malani hums a melody, kissing the top of his head and continuing to run his fingers through Kora’s hair, the vibration of his voice resonates in his chest. Soon enough, Malani starts to sing. It’s quiet, mostly under his breath, the lyrics are mumbled and some of them are whispered, but Gods, Kora really can’t understand how he could ever deserve this. It makes him sad for a fleeting moment, things like this never last for long, but the buzz of Malani’s voice in his chest and the sound of his heartbeat chases that thought away.

[1] feik - light

[rozyrne]

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍+　✩　———　i'd like to continue building narratively off of rosado's completed ' coming of age ' as a fair folk villager which unlocked his access to anima-based magic⠀(⠀largely manifesting as water-based stuff where doable, due to my interpretation of the lake of mystery fae being water spirits⠀) .⠀he's continuously struggling to control when and how it manifests, which has led to some nettle-y situations with the residents here and him being outcast from the settlement without much means. he can't head back to the monastery until the next morning anyway, so what is he going to do tonight? enter your muse. what will they do? offer him shelter for the night? try to help him control his magic so he might be able to stay? or some other measure to either suppress or disguise it?　[ TAKEN ] ⠀

𝐆𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐒+　✩　———　are you down for a james bond high speed chase sequence? this couple decided to put a swing on the usual tradition and instead of one partner rescuing the other, one partner has to catch the other in a race through town when the clock hits midnight before the runaway can escape. and if they can't, well, maybe it wasn't as fated to be as they thought after all huh. ⠀ rosado is going to be helping the partner who wants to escape on his wyvern, and your muse will be helping the partner who's trying to catch them. i have some light chase mechanics designed for this: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀—⠀the starting distance between the two parties will be 50 lengths and both parties will start with 5/5HP. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀—⠀we'll roll a d20 to determine which muse goes first. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀—⠀each post, we'll roll a d20+[riding/flying modifier] to determine the distance covered in the post. +1 for each full letter rank in riding/flying. for full disclosure, rosado has a B in flying, so that's a +4. the modifier shouldn't be a make or break though, just a small bonus so don't feel too discouraged if your muse doesn't have riding/flying ranks. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀—⠀if an odd final number is rolled, you will roll a d20 from an encounter chart ( i have this ) and you may flavor what happens to your muse however you want in your post. to keep things simple, all DC checks on the encounter chart will be a DC11 ( 50% ) and all instances of damage taken will be 1HP. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀—⠀the chase will end either when the distance between the two muses is larger than 100 lengths, when one muse is knocked out of the chase, or when we reach 16 reblogs, at which point rosado and his partner will escape if you have not caught him before then. we can then spend however many replies afterward writing the post-chase and narrative ending, but the chase itself will end at 16 reblogs ( after 8 turns each ).　[ TAKEN ]

discord dm's preferred. comments on this post or tumblr ims are fine too. as always, likes on this post will be assumed to be support and not interest. thank!