merrybloomwrites

[merrybloomwrites]

Thank you all for the summer games requests so far!!!

I’ll probably make a masterpost with all of the asks instead of responding to each individually.

Also, you guys highly overestimate my trash talk ability haha

[merrybloomwrites]

Update on my last post

I’m temporarily re-opening requests for Smosh Summer Games related fics only!!

I plan to do a story for each of the following: Angela, Damien, Spencer, and Ian

So I’d love to hear what you want to read for them!!

Doesn’t have to be current summer games related, but does have to be from a summer games

[merrybloomwrites]

omg angela and reader being on separate teams and trash talking each other so hard and angela acting all tough and then reader completely wipes out and angela instantly comes to the rescue all soft and protective would be AMAZING

I love this!!!! Like I think I def have to write this

[merrybloomwrites]

Smosh readers: help me choose?

Ok so I’m currently working on an Ian x reader that should go up soon. And I promise I’m working on the requests that I have.

BUT! Summer games is happening. And of course, I’m inspired to write something about that. Perhaps reader wiping out during a game and boyfriend comes to their rescue. Or girlfriend. I’m not against writing Angela x reader lol

So if you have a preference on who I write this about, comment below! Options are Damien, Ian, Spencer, and Angela!

[merrybloomwrites]

Not writing a fanfic nobody asked for but writing fanfic for yourself and that one other person who is equally insane about the idea

[merrybloomwrites]

Just saw someone make a joke about the hospital from Greys Anatomy being on a hellmouth and now I want to write that crossover fic

[merrybloomwrites]

When the Wolves Come Out (Chapter 14-Final Chapter)

Story Summary: When Y/N gets hired to play drums for One Direction, the last thing she expects is to find herself as part of their pack. Especially since it seems that they don’t want her there. Only time will tell if they’ll accept her, or if the omega will have to deal with rejection from the others.

Chaptet Summary: After all of the highs and lows, some open communication between you and the boys leads to a happy resolution and a plan for the future.

Word Count: 1.5K

CW/tags: omega verse, omega reader, alpha Harry, alpha Zayn, alpha Louis, beta Niall, beta Liam, poly, touch deprivation, alpha Kevin Jonas, alpha Joe Jonas, omega drop, scenting

Previous Chapters on my Masterlist

AN: Can’t believe this is the last chapter! I hope you all enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing it!

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“C’mon baby, come back to us.” Zayn pleads, but you’re too far under to hear.

You’d held on, stayed conscious long enough for your pack to get there. And as soon as Harry’s arms were around you, and the other boys climbed into the bed with you, the drop pulled you under.

Your touch deprivation has reached such a severe level that you remain in the drop for hours longer than you ever have before.

Your pack is worried. Kevin and Dani and Joe are downstairs, worried out of their minds and wishing they could do something to help. Because all they know is that you’re laying there, lifeless, unresponsive. Your scent has disappeared completely.

That’s what’s happening externally. But internally, this drop is healing you. Being surrounded by the others is helping your omega come back from the touch deprivation. Each time they scent you, or place you in someone else’s arms, or whisper words of encouragement, telling you how much they care for you, how much you mean to them, it soothes you more and more.

Finally, after an eternity of waiting for any sign from you, the boys feel you shift. Or well, Zayn feels it, as he’s the one currently holding you. Your head is resting on his shoulder, and he can tell that you’re moving it, just slightly. He helps maneuver you so that your nose is up against his scent gland and focuses on releasing relaxing pheromones.

You let out a quiet noise, a gentle hum of contentment. The boys glance at each other, hope lighting up their faces.

“Omega,” Zayn murmurs. “Are you with us?”

You don’t respond verbally, but you slowly nod against him.

“We’re all here,” Harry reassures. “We’re here with you. And we’re not going anywhere.”

“And neither are you,” Louis says. You finally turn to look at him, and his face floods with relief when your eyes meet his. “Never again. No running away.”

“Okay, alpha,” you croak out. Your voice is ragged from lack of use, and Niall quickly grabs a water bottle, bringing it to your lips and helping you drink. Zayn supports you as you do so, as you’re still quite weak. After you’ve taken a few sips you feel better and rest on his shoulder once more.

“I’m sorry,” you say, and immediately the others protest.

“Don’t apologize,” Liam says.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Zayn says over him.

“But I am sorry. I should have communicated. I shouldn’t have just left without explaining first.”

“Do you want to explain now?” Harry asks.

“Yes, please.”

“We’re listening,” Niall reassures.

You take one more deep breath of Zayn’s familiar scent and explain, “I had a meeting with Simon.” You ignore the muttered curses the boys let out at the mention of the boss.

“He told me how I was bad for you guys. That you would lose fans because I ruined the illusion that they had a chance with you. And uhm, it wasn’t safe for me to be there. You heard what the fans said to me. About me. They don’t like me. I’m bad for you.”

“That’s the reason you left?” Liam asks.

“Yea.”

“Not because you wanted to? Or because you didn’t want to be with us?”

“Of course I want to be with you!”

“Omega,” Louis says, his voice terse.

“Yes, alpha?”

“Can you come here please?” He holds out his arms, and while you’re confused, you listen to his request. Zayn again supports you until you’re in the other man’s arms. Louis grips you tightly, making you feel secure. From here you can better get the undertones of his scent, and can smell the agitation hidden beneath the comfort.

“What’s wrong?” You ask.

“I just need to hold you for a minute,” he replies.

“And I need to hold you next,” Harry adds. “It’s to make sure we don’t fly straight back to London and pummel Cowell into the ground.”

At those words you hold on even tighter to Louis. The last thing you want is them confronting Simon to try and defend you. That would just cause problems, could lead to them getting hurt. You can’t let that happen! You can’t let anything happen to them! You can't lose them!

Louis senses your growing panic and says, “Shh, love, relax. It’s okay, we’re okay.”

“You can’t get hurt,” you cry out.

“Oh, baby, no. We won’t get hurt. I promise,” he replies.

“You can’t go against Simon,” you plead.

It’s Zayn who answers this time, saying, “Honey, we’ll do what we have to do to protect our pack. We’ll do it safe and we’ll do it smart. But there will be a conversation.”

“Why?” You ask.

“Why?” Harry says. “Well first of all, he had a secret meeting with our omega where he filled your brain with lies that led to you going dangerously deep into touch deprivation.”

“They weren’t lies,” you retort. “It’s the truth. The fans don’t like me, and that makes them not like you either.”

“Then we don’t want them,” Zayn states. “We don’t need them. We only want the fans who love us for who we are. For the music we make. Not because they think they’re going to be our omega.”

“You’ve worked so hard,” you say. “I can’t ruin that.”

“You’re not ruining anything,” Liam says.

“He’s right,” Niall adds, sensing your disbelief.

Harry speaks next, saying “Y/N, we’ve worked hard. And that’s put us on top. Which means we have leverage now. If Simon threatens to break up the band, if he won’t work with us, we have other options.”

“There are plenty of labels who would sign us now,” Louis states. “They’d honestly be stupid to turn away an opportunity to work with us.” He pulls away slightly so he can take your hands in his and look you in the eyes. “We will be okay. Everything will be just fine. With the band, with the pack, there is nothing to worry about. Okay?”

You take a deep breath, really processing the words before you reply with a quiet, “Okay. I trust you.”

“We’ll take care of everything,” Harry says. “I promise.”

You give Louis a look, and knowing what you’re silently asking, he nods and helps you shift over to Harry. The other alpha happily takes you into his arms, immediately leaning down to scent you. His last bit of lingering anxiety melts away, replaced by happiness. Contentment.

The six of you sit together, happy to just be together again. After a little while Niall says, “We should probably let the others know you’re okay.”

You’d somehow forgotten about your old pack members waiting downstairs, and you nod, knowing Niall is right. He gets up, and you realize he’s about to leave the room, and start to panic again.

“Don’t go,” you say, reaching out to him. Without hesitation he sits back down and holds your hand.

“Okay,” he reassures. “I won’t go.”

“I’ll text them,” Louis says, pulling out his phone and sending a message. “They’re relieved,” he says a moment later. “Said they’re going to Joes for the night so we can have the house.”

It’s the last bit of closure you need. Knowing that Kevin and Joe trust your new pack enough to take care of you shows that this is the right decision. You belong with them. And they will take care of you.

“I love you.” The words slip out before you even think about it. Reflexively, Harry’s arms hold you even tighter.

He’s the first to say it back, but the others quickly follow suit.

“You all really mean it?” You ask.

“We do,” Louis confirms. Their serious and happy expressions, plus the pheromones now floating through the room prove the boys aren’t lying.

You all love each other. You’ll all take care of one another. You are a priority to them, and they’re going to do whatever it takes to keep you as their omega.

Slowly, purposefully, you pull each of them in for a lingering, love filled kiss. You want to do more, want to finally go further with them. But it’s not the time, nor the place.

Once you’re stronger, you’ll find somewhere private to finally have the intimacy with your pack that you’re craving.

But for now, you’re content to share kisses and cuddles. You spend the rest of the day in bed, leaving only to get food down in the kitchen.

Falling asleep that night, you’re comforted by your pack's presence surrounding you. Because you know in your heart that this is how you’ll be falling asleep for the rest of your life. After so much heartbreak, for the first time ever, you feel certain about your future.

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AN: Thank you so much for reading this series! I promise I am not done with them yet. Decided to keep the main story PG so there will absolutely be a smutty extra coming soon, and I’m sure more extras in the future!

taglist: @luxiorchive @daphnesutton @xo-veebee @spideythor17

[merrybloomwrites]

Find Your Pleasing

Summary: As Harry’s girlfriend, you’re often asked to test Pleasing products before they hit the store. The newest product you’re asked to test is a bit different than the others.

CW: sex toys, vibrator, smut

Word Count: 1.8K

AN: Obviously had to write a story about the newest Pleasing drop. I’m sure there are others out there but I haven’t had a chance to read any yet, so if this is similar to another one I promise it isn’t on purpose

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Being Harry Styles’ girlfriend came with a fair number of responsibilities. There was plenty of traveling, supporting him at shows and movie premiers, helping behind the scenes when needed.

Ever since the start of Pleasing, you’d gained another role. Product tester.

Harry respected your feedback, and always asked your opinion on everything they were working on. He’d spend hours in meetings with the development team and still come home and talk about it more with you.

You might not have an official title in the business, but Pleasing wouldn’t be the same without you.

He never let you go easy on him either. He wanted honest feedback. If you didn’t like a nail color, if a perfume smelled off, if you thought a product wasn’t up to a high enough standard, he wanted to hear it. He asked you to be his harshest critic.

But for some reason, Harry is being quite secretive about the latest meeting. He won’t tell you what they talked about, or what products they’re hoping to drop next.

“You’ll see!” He’d said. “I promise the wait will be worth it.”

After that, he’d taken you to bed. The two of you spent the following hours having a very enjoyable evening, one in which Harry brought out the fun bag of toys hidden away in the closet. By the end, you’d completely forgotten about his earlier secrecy.

But you now realize that you should have put some clues together. Because it’s a couple of weeks later, and Harry just surprised you with a prototype of the newest Pleasing product.

A sex toy. Specifically a vibrator. More specifically, a double ended vibrator.

“Finally giving the people what they expected, huh?” You quip as you begin to look at it.

“I mean, we all knew this would happen eventually,” he replies.

“Yea, a former boy band member turned solo pop sensation was bound to release a sex toy sooner or later. It’s the logical progression.”

“Hey, if Gwyneth Paltrow can release these things so can I,” he defends.

“Oh of course. But I have to admit, her brand name really pulls the customers in.”

“Goop? You think Goop is more attractive to consumers than Pleasing?"

You can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the current conversation. Finally you both pull yourselves together again and Harry hands you the prototype.

“Judge it harshly, okay? This thing needs to be perfect,” he says.

“You want me to use this? Test this out?” You ask incredulously.

“I mean, you are our product tester. And I can’t exactly test it out myself so I could really use your feedback. More important now than ever,” he explains.

“Ah yes, the pleasure of your fans is now in my hands,” you joke.

“Literally,” he replies, smirking and pointing at the vibe.

“Are we doing this right now?”

He gives you a suggestive look but then says, "Only if you want to. Don’t feel pressured.”

It’s that, the fact that his top priority is your comfort, that has you wanting to help him.

“I want to,” you reply.

He smiles and leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. He soon deepens it, his arms going to your waist to pull you flush against him. In doing so the box gets squished between you, reminding you both the true objective here.

“Let’s go get comfy,” he says, taking your hand and leading you to the bedroom.

You climb into your bed, laying back against the pillows. Harry lays on top of you, kissing along your neck, his hand teasing your thigh, slipping below the hem of your shorts.

He’s effectively warming you up. Getting you ready.

Soon you’re eager to test the new product, and you pick it up from where you’d left it on the bed. Getting the hint, Harry moves to help you slip out of your shorts.

“You’re excited huh?” He teases when he sees the unmistakable damp spot on your underwear.

“Let’s see what that can do,” you invite.

“It’s double sided,” he says.

“You thought of everything,” you reply.

“Ready?”

“Mhmm.”

He presses a button and you hear a telltale buzz. It’s a bit loud, and you make a mental note to ask him if that can be fixed.

And then it presses to your core. It’s nice. But not the best you’ve had. He presses the button a few more times, showing you the four different modes. The first two are okay. The third is better, and gets you close. The fourth is almost a little too much, and you know it would overstimulate you if you used it too long.

After giving you time to test out all of the modes, he switches back to the one you liked best. Now it’s no longer about product testing, it’s about getting you off. He leans in to meet your mouth in a messy kiss and uses the vibe the way he knows you’ll like. Soon, you’re falling apart, panting and moaning, your nails digging into Harry’s skin.

You catch your breath, and after a few minutes Harry says, “So, what did you think?”

“Well, I really liked that one setting,” you reply with a smile.

“What else?”

So you explain your thoughts, what you liked and what you would change if you could. He takes out his phone and writes down notes, promising to work on fixing the problems.

A few weeks later, Harry comes home with another version of the product. As always, the two of you test it out together. This is better than the first, and you even get to test the other end. Which ends up needing some adjusting. You once again give Harry your feedback, and he listens intently.

The pattern continues, two more versions are tried, and each time you enjoy it more and more.

Finally, he comes home one evening, a large grin on his face and a bag in his hands.

“It’s ready,” he says, causing you to look at him in confusion. That feeling only lasts a moment because a second later he pulls out a box. And right away you know what’s inside.

You excitedly open it, and gasp saying, “I love the color!”

“I know,” he replies, his voice smug. There had been many colors brought up, and you’d really loved the pink and burgundy combination. It’s another choice by Harry that makes you feel special. Like your opinion is what really matters to him.

“Wanna try?” He asks suggestively.

“Yeah,” you say, your voice coming out breathless. You lean in to kiss him, and unlike the fire and lust Harry was expecting, this kiss is full of love and admiration. When you pull back you say, “Thank you, for including me, for listening to me. You don’t have to do that, but it makes me feel like I matter.”

“Of course you matter baby! I could never do this without you. Your support and your feedback with this, with music, with everything, it means more to me than you could ever know.”

You kiss him again, and the two of you stand in the room making out. Things grow heated, and Harry leads you upstairs, making sure the box is still in your hand.

As always, the foreplay is amazing. Harry is attentive, worshipping your body. And then comes the toy. He turns on the top part and brings it down to your core, teasingly running it everywhere but where you need it the most. Finally, he places it against your clit, and your entire body arches off the bed at the jolt of pleasure it brings. He slowly works you up, and soon you’re coming, stars dancing in your vision and moans spilling out of your mouth.

He doesn’t pull away, but instead turns the toy up another notch. As he does that, he begins sliding his fingers inside of you, simultaneously adding to the pleasure while also opening you up. Just minutes later you’re tipping over that edge again, your nails digging into Harry’s arm as waves of your orgasm roll through you. He turns the toy off and pulls it away.

“Good?” he asks.

“Amazing,” you reply.

“Ready for another round?”

“Too sensitive,” you answer. You want more, but both you and Harry know that your clit gets over sensitive after a couple of orgasms.

“Well, I was thinking we use the other end,” he informs you.

Your head pops up to look at him, smiles spreading across both your faces. Because that puts you back in the game. You nod, and Harry brings the other end to your entrance.

“You sure?” He asks.

“Yes, please, want it!”

Harry slides the tip inside, watching your reactions, happy to see the way your eyes roll is pleasure. He pushes more inside, and can tell by your moan the exact second he finds the right place. Knowing the bulbed end is nestled against your g-spot, he turns on the vibration.

“Fuck!” You explain as your back once again arches off the bed. Harry places a hand on your lower stomach to press you back onto the bed, and the added weight makes it even more intense.

He can’t wait any longer, and turns the other end on as well, lining himself up to get some much needed friction on his now weeping cock. He thrusts gently, and his hips against the toy push it in and out of you, giving you the friction needed as well.

The angle adjusts slightly, and your orgasm hits you suddenly. You shout out, and your hips move instinctively to chase the pleasure. After you come down, you gently push Harry’s hand, letting him know to slide out.

He does, and his one hand moves to grip his shaft, quickly moving up and down to chase his own orgasm. His other hand holds the vibe to the crown, and you sit up to take it from him, holding it just right to help him reach his peak. When he comes, it’s with a series of quiet moans, and his cum landing in the wet spot you’d already created.

You turn the toy off, and the only sound in the room is the labored breathing from both of you. Harry pulls you into him, and you readjust to lay together, away from the wet spot.

“So, think people will like it?” He eventually asks, causing you to laugh.

“Oh for sure. It’ll sell out in minutes,” you reply.

The two of you then head to the bathroom to clean up, and Harry meticulously washes the toy, just as he always does. And when this new box joins the others in the closet, you know it will be taken out and used quite frequently.

Afterall, how many people have boyfriends who custom design a sex toy with their girlfriends in mind?

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AN: thanks for reading, hope you all have a lovely week!

[merrybloomwrites]

I assume a double sided vibrator is where you can pleasure yourself with both ends. If we are talking about the new pleasing vibrator, the top is to just place it on yourself (the clit), and the bottom is able to go inside. Thats my guess😗

Thank you for explaining! I promise I have a story regarding this coming out very soon! Haha

[merrybloomwrites]

I would say the pleasing vibrator is mainly for vaginal penetration bc on the site it states it’s not meant for anal

Thank you for this information! I never would have thought of that but it’s good to know haha

[merrybloomwrites]

For research and writing purposes

Can someone explain to me what a double sided vibrator is? I’m admittedly not well versed in those objects and the Pleasing product just looks like a wand vibrator to me? I’m honestly confused lol

[merrybloomwrites]

Breathe With Me

Summary: When the stress of running an upcoming live show becomes too much, Anthony is there to help.

Word Count: 1K

CW: stress, anxiety, panic attack

AN: Thank you to @certainflowerenthusiast-blog for requesting this! It’s my first Anthony story so I hope I did him justice!

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You had never really been an anxious person. Sure, you had worries. You’d get a bit anxious every now and again.

You were normally pretty level headed. Calm, cool, collected.

But this week is different. It’s important, special. You’re directing a live show for Smosh. For months you’ve been planning, meeting with the rest of the crew, rehearsing with the cast. You’ve gone over the script again and again, run the numbers to make sure everything is within budget.

You’ve eaten, slept, and breathed this show.

And it’s happening in just two days.

So now you’re barely eating, barely eating, and honestly, feel like you can barely breathe too. Never in your life have you been this stressed.

All the pressure is self inflicted. Your coworkers are fantastic, pitching in where needed and dropping random compliments about how well things are going. But your mind can’t stop spiraling to all the things that could possibly go wrong.

What if someone gets sick? What if the set breaks? Or a prop goes missing? What if people forget their lines?

Or, god forbid, what if the internet goes out? You’ve had multiple nightmares about this scenario, and it’s truly kept you awake multiple times lately.

Every time you think you have things under control, that everything is taken care of and you’re prepared for every eventuality, you think of one more thing. Something else that could somehow go wrong.

While the others break for lunch, you head to your office, needing a minute alone.

But being alone doesn’t have the intended effect. You’d hoped that you could catch your breath, maybe even close your eyes and relax for a few minutes. Of course, your thoughts won’t stop, your brain won’t be quiet, and your stress levels continue to rise.

Before you know it, your heart is pounding, and you’re starting to gasp for air. Stars flash in your vision, and it feels like you don’t even know where you are. The chair beneath you doesn’t feel real, no sound is getting through the ringing in your ears.

And then there’s something. A hand touching you. Someone is in the room with you.

“Y/N, can you take a deep breath for me?” The voice is familiar, but it still takes some time for you to place who it is.

“Deep breaths,” Anthony says. “Follow with me, okay?”

You try, really try to match his breathing. But instead you choke out, “I can’t! What’s happening?”

“I think you’re having a panic attack,” he calmly replies.

That doesn’t make sense. You don’t have those. Never have. But what else could it be? Anthony is probably right.

And you have no idea how to fix it. You’ve definitely seen people online talk about ways to ground yourself but you never really paid attention. You hadn’t needed that information before.

“Try one more time for me,” he says. You do, and it’s still shaky, but better.

“Good job,” he praises. “Here, can you feel this?” He places his hands in yours and you grip tightly.

“Yes,” you whisper.

“That’s good. Can you tell me five things you can see?”

This is familiar. You’ve heard of this before. You take a moment to think and reply, “You. My desk. Flowers. Picture on the wall. And my laptop.”

“Perfect! Now four things you can touch,” he prompts.

“You again,” you start, and both of you chuckle. Anthony leads you through the rest of the exercise, and by the end, you’ve calmed a bit. He finds your water bottle and hands it to you, prompting you to take a few sips.

The cold water is shocking to your system and it helps fully ground you to the present moment.

“Better?” Anthony asks.

“Yea. Thank you.”

You’re grateful for his presence, and the help he just gave you. But you’re now embarrassed as well. The last thing you need is to look weak in front of your boss.

“Sorry about that,” you say quietly.

“Hey, no. Don’t do that. Don’t apologize for something you can’t control,” he replies.

“But I can. Or at least, I always could before. I’ve never had a panic attack or anxiety before. But lately it’s been so bad.”

“Do you know what’s causing it?”

You let out a sarcastic laugh and say, “For sure.” He gives you a look, prompting you to explain so you continue, “It’s the live show. I can’t stop worrying about all the things that might go wrong.”

His eyes soften at that, and he nods in understanding. He knows the pressure that’s on you, the need to prove yourself and have everything go perfectly. He’s been in your shoes before. So he reassures, “Y/N, you have put countless hours into planning this. Everyone has put the work in. They know their parts. The sets are built. Tim will be here for any and all tech needs. And yea, maybe something out of your control will happen. But it probably won’t. And as long as it’s nothing truly awful, you know the fans will still love it even if it isn’t perfect.”

You start to feel better the more he talks, and you even believe him that everything is going to go smoothly.

“Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

“Any time. I mean it. And if you ever start to feel stressed like this again, come talk to me. I’ll teach you how to meditate!”

And while normally you might crack a joke at how much he’s always pushing meditation, in this moment you think he might have a point.

“Maybe that’s not such a bad idea,” you acquiesce.

“Seriously, it works! Now c’mon. You need lunch. A real, substantial meal. Not a protein bar that got squished in the bottom of your bag”

You join him in the kitchen, feeling a hundred times better than you had that morning. The two of you get your food and settle at a table with some friends. It feels good to joke and hang out like normal, without the anxiety weighing you down.

You hope that your stress won’t reach that level again, but you’re happy to know Anthony will be there to help you if it does.

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AN: thank you for reading, and I hope you all have a great week!

[merrybloomwrites]

I had plans to do a lot of writing this weekend

My anemia had other plans. Like, sleeping. A lot.

Until I can go to my doctor and get back on track with treating that, there might be bigger gaps between posting because I can’t write if I’m asleep haha Though nap dreams occasionally inspire new ideas so I’ll take that as a win

That being said, my Anthony Padilla story is almost done, I’m working on the final chapter of Wolves, and I started writing a 1D oneshot that I’ve had in my brain for about 2 years so I’m excited to share all of those!

[merrybloomwrites]

Loved wolves!

Thank you!!

[merrybloomwrites]

When the Wolves Come Out (Chapter 13)

Story Summary: When Y/N gets hired to play drums for One Direction, the last thing she expects is to find herself as part of their pack. Especially since it seems that they don’t want her there. Only time will tell if they’ll accept her, or if the omega will have to deal with rejection from the others.

Chapter Summary: Leaving the band is the right thing to do. It doesn’t mean it’s easy for you. Especially when the touch deprivation sets in.

Word Count: 1.6K

CW/tags: omega verse, omega reader, alpha Harry, alpha Zayn, alpha Louis, beta Niall, beta Liam, poly, touch deprivation, alpha Kevin Jonas, alpha Joe Jonas

Previous chapters are on my masterlist

AN: 1 more chapter of the main story! I decided to keep the entire main series SFW and and smut will be in extras

If you saw my post yesterday titled “The List” and saw that I put (include jealousy element) for chapter 14, I changed my mind. That will be included in an extra lol

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When Kevin got your text asking to be picked up from the airport, he knew something had changed. You weren’t supposed to be coming home for another couple of weeks. He figured there was just a scheduling change, that maybe you had been given a couple days off to see family before doing the end of tour work in London.

But then he sees you waiting with your bags, and he knows something is wrong. Your face, your stance, just your general appearance screams that you’re in pain. Kevin is immediately on alert, wondering what it is that happened, what you’ll need him to do to help.

Even now that the Jonas pack has broken up, his first instinct will always be to protect you. Even if it’s your heart that’s broken.

He gets out, opening the trunk and taking your bags to load them. Once that’s done he turns to give you a hug, but you’ve already situated yourself in the passenger seat of his car. He gets back in and finds you looking out the window, so he begins driving.

After giving you a few minutes, Kevin can no longer stand the silence and asks, “What’s wrong?”

You let out a loud sigh and say, “Can we not talk about it? Just, not yet?”

“Okay. We’ll talk when you’re ready.”

The heavy silence settles on the car once again, and you spend the rest of the drive looking out the window and watching the familiar scenery fly past.

Once at the house, Kevin’s wife Dani comes out to greet you, and is also surprised by how drawn in you are. You’re normally excited to see her, happy to spend time at their place. But you just say a quick hello and a polite thank you before going inside.

You head upstairs, to the guest room you always stay in. Normally you’d feel bad imposing and not even spending time with them. But you can’t bring yourself to feel right now. You can’t feel much of anything.

With the band you had it all. Everything you could have ever wanted.

And now it’s gone. All because you were bad for business.

It hurts. Your whole body aches, like it knows everything you lost. And more importantly, everyone you lost.

There’s a strange feeling in your chest. Like your heart is being squeezed. Like it can’t handle the pain you’re putting it through.

You made this decision. And it was the right one. You know that. But it’s still the worst choice you’ve ever made.

The boys deserve happiness and success. And you’re an obstacle to that. So this is for the best.

It’s for the best. You keep repeating that to yourself, reminding yourself of this over and over.

Eventually you manage to fall asleep. When you wake, you still feel tired. But the house is filled with the aroma of Dani’s chicken parm, with her homemade sauce. Not only does it smell delicious, it smells comforting. Familiar. Smells like family.

So you make yourself get out of bed, freshen up, and head downstairs.

“Hey there,” Dani says.

“Hi,” you reply quietly.

The beta dries her hands and then turns to you, arms open slightly, but not expectant. Suddenly you can’t resist, and you go to her embrace. She holds you tight, not asking any questions, but rather just being there for you.

“Made your favorite,” she eventually says.

“I could smell it,” you answer. “Thank you. For the food, and for letting me crash here on short notice.”

“You’re always welcome. Though I won’t lie, I am curious about what led to you needing to stay here. I won’t ask for details, but I’m here to listen if you want to talk.”

“I know. I will. I’m just not ready yet.”

The two of you pull away and Dani gives you a smile before turning back to the stove, checking on dinner. Trying to make yourself useful, you go to the cabinets and begin to pull out plates and silverware to set the table. There’s a comfortable silence as you both finish your tasks, and soon Kevin joins.

It’s a pleasant dinner, and they make you smile and laugh, but there’s an overwhelming feeling of sadness that you know you won’t be able to shake any time soon. Still, you do your best to look cheerful, and you force yourself to watch a movie with them after dinner.

Really you just want to crawl into your bed and hide from the world. But you know that’s not a good idea. Hard as it is, being around people will be good for you. So you put on a brave face and watch whatever new action movie Kevin picked out. You hope he doesn’t notice the sweatshirt you put on. One that still has traces of Zayn’s scent.

You’d taken some items of clothing with you, ones that would hold their scents, knowing you would probably need it for the first few days. There was no way you were making it through today without this comfort item, and you sneakily burrow into the neckline every now and then to breathe in. It settles you, calms your nerves.

Kevin pretends not to notice. He grants you the courtesy to do whatever you need in order to feel better. That doesn’t mean he isn’t paying attention, though. Truthfully, he’s worried. Until you explain what happened, all he knows is that you suddenly left your new pack, and your job, and came home looking extremely worn out and sad.

You used to lean against Kevin when you needed comfort. Now you curl in on yourself, not letting him in. It hurts how much has changed. And truthfully, he’s mad at the boys. Clearly something happened between you and them. And he’ll always be on your side, supporting you no matter what.

If only you would let him.

But you don’t.

You spend the first couple of days completely withdrawn. You’re in your room most of the time, coming out occasionally to eat, shower, put on a facade like you’re okay so that Kevin and Dani don’t worry.

There’s plenty to be worried about, though. There are things you’re hiding.

Like the shivers. You’re cold, bone deep cold. It prickles your skin, causing you to itch, and you practically scratch yourself raw.

And then the dizziness. Any time you stand up, or move too fast, the earth begins to spin. More than once you’ve had to brace yourself against the wall or a piece of furniture to prevent yourself from crashing to the floor. Kevin has also caught you a couple of times, and in those quick moments he noted how cold your skin felt. He’d also seen glimpses of the angry red marks on your arms.

Part way through the week, you’d opened up a bit. Explained that it wasn’t going to work. That you being with them would only hurt them.

“And they just let you go?” He'd asked.

“I didn’t really give them a choice.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I left. I knew they would fight me on it. So I wrote a letter and then came here.”

“You snuck out? Without a goodbye? Without hearing their side?”

“I knew what they’d say!” You’d said. “They would’ve told me I was crazy. But I’m not. I was in that room with Simon. He was serious. If I stayed, the band would be over. And I couldn’t tank their careers.”

“I still think you should talk to them.”

“No! Not now. And please, please don’t reach out to them. I don’t want them finding me.”

“Y/N-”

“Do you promise? Promise me you won’t tell!”

There was something in your voice, a level of desperation that had Kevin agreeing to the promise.

And then things got worse.

You didn’t get out of bed. Your bed which was now covered in clothes that held the traces of scents from your pack. When Kevin came to check he found you shivering, even though you were surrounded by warm clothing. When your eyes met his, they were glassy, unfocused and yet swimming with tears.

He climbed onto the bed next to you, and instead of fighting it, pushing him away, you let him hold you. And when the symptoms didn’t go away, he scented you.

But it didn’t help. Nothing he did helped.

So he called in backup. You were mad to see Joe, mad that Kevin had told anyone about where you were and what was happening. And yet, you accepted cuddles and scenting from Joe as well.

It still didn’t help. You still got worse.

You fell into a daze. Not quite a drop, but you felt like you were always teetering on the edge of one. It was hard to tell how much time was passing. You weren’t sure when you’d last eaten or even had water. The only thing you were sure of was that Joe and Kevin were there.

After a night of particularly rough nightmares, you wake up with Joe beside you. Kevin walks in a moment later and says, “Don’t be mad. But I called them.”

“You did?”

“I had to.”

“Are they coming?”

“Yes. They’re on their way. Just, hold on a few more hours, alright?”

“Okay,” you say quietly.

They’re coming. Your pack is coming to you. Your reasons for leaving don’t matter right now. All that matters is that your pack is coming. And you’ll be okay. They’ll help. You’ll be okay.

Just a few more hours.

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AN: I can’t wait to share the final chapter with you all!

taglist: @luxiorchive

[merrybloomwrites]

I’m so excited for wolves and little things intimacy part two!

I actually just finished writing the next part of Wolves! Just proofreading and it should go up soon!

I think Intimacy part 2 is the next little extra I’m going to write. I’ve had it mostly planned for a while so now it’s time to share it!

[merrybloomwrites]

The List

I always say I’m adding things to my list, so I thought I’d share the current list. I’m prioritizing the series that I’m working on, and I kind of know which oneshots and extras I want to do first, but if there are any you’re looking forward to please let me know! Messages like that motivate me and will probably lead to that story going up faster. Also anything with an asterisk means it’s a request