#which is weird for me so hopefully it's okay
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Liminal Jason part 2
And, the plot bunny strikes back.
Red follows easily as Jason leads to the safe house. He spares a moment of thought towards whether Red is chatting with the whole family in the comms right now But then he focuses back on the kid in his arms. The kid is practically falling asleep, even as they grapple across buildings.
The instant faith this kid had in him was startling, and Jason has his concerns about why. But the part of his brain able to focus on concerns is trying to figure out how he trusts the kid so much already. The only information they have about him is that he can make unknown sounds, which is apparently a language Jason can communicate in. And yet Jason already knows that he would not let anything happen to this kid.
Hopefully, the kid also speaks a language the rest of the group can speak. If not they can always leave it to him and Cass, as the kids’ body language seemed close enough to normal for her unique language skills to be used.
They arrive quickly, entering through the fire escape into what could pass for a living room, in a very minimalist world. There was a couch though, and Jason went straight there to lay the kid down on it.
The kid seemed very hesitant to let go though, waking as Jason tried to put him down. A whimper leaving his mouth as he latches on to Jason’s clothes.
Jason glances quickly at Red, and then picks the kid back up and sits down on the couch himself, with the kid in his lap. Red drags one of the two folding chairs by the folding table over in front of the cough and sits down himself.
“What is happening?” Red asks. Jason gives him a withering look through the helmet, then realizes that’s not enough, and he would like to be able to speak to the kid without the voice modulator potentially freaking him out. So, he takes the helmet off and places it on the floor next to the couch. Gives Red a look he can actually see, because really what does he think is happening? Then looks down at the kid.
“Hey, kid?” Jason asks gently. The kid looks up at him. “You got a name?”
“Danny.” The kid does his best to sit up, and scooch over to his own seat on the couch, now aware of his surroundings and situation. But a rumble comes from Jason, and he doesn’t let Danny go, so he settles back down. “I’m sorry about the trouble. I didn’t mean to be so loud.”
Red looks confused at that, but Jason chooses to ignore him for now.
“I’m glad you were, so that I could find you. Are you okay?”
Danny shrugs. He lets out a hum of sad-fine. “I’m fine now. Or I will be, once I get settled.”
“Kid, you were in distress. Can you tell me what happened?”
Danny took a deep breath, and then slid away from Jason. Jason allowed it this time, and the kid curled himself into the corner of the couch, knees up to his chest and hugged them.
“My world was collapsing. Timeline deconstruction, leading to total meltdown. We were trying to get everyone to the portal, but… They thought the portal wasn’t safe. They wouldn’t listen to us, and they wouldn’t stop… One of my mentors got me through the portal. They sent me to this world. But my world is gone now.”
“Hood, can I talk to you?” Red nods his head towards the hallway.
“Right now?” Jason looks between Red and Danny, who is crying silently, that high pitched keen of distress grief-alone starting and stopping, hitching with his breath.
Jason growls, deep and strong,not-alone-mine-now.
“Yes.” Red hisses.
Danny sniffles, using his sleeve to wipe his face as he starts to give Jason a small smile.
Jason huffs. “Danny, will you be okay for a second?”
Danny nods, humming an agreement.
Jason chuffs a quick safe-promise and Danny gives him a small smile. Red taps Jason's arm, and he grunts, but gets up to follow him anyway.
“Be right back, Danny.”
Red and Jason go into the bedroom, Red closing the door behind him.
“Hood, something weird is going on.”
“Obviously, did you not hear what that kid just said?”
“No, well… yes. But that’s not what I meant.” Red starts wringing his hands together. “I don’t know how you found Danny, Hood. You said you heard a noise, and I believed you, but I didn’t hear anything that whole time. And you two keep looking like you’re communicating, but neither of you are talking, and the only things I can think of to cause something like that is telepathy or mind control.”
“Woah, wait.” Jason holds a hand up to stop Red from starting to ramble, and once he’s silent runs his fingers through his hair. “You can’t hear the kid? The noises? I mean I don’t know how I’m making the noises, that came as a surprise. But you can’t even hear them?”
“No, Hood!” Red seems very frustrated. “And if you don’t think it’s telepathy, then we have to look into other options.”
“Hey, now, wait a second.” Jason puts his whole body in front of the door, which makes Tim tense. Jason wants to tense as well, but he is trying not to escalate the situation. “Danny is not malicious. He’s a kid, and he needs help.”
Red squared himself, preparing to argue, but Jason heard a cry from the living room and was out of the room immediately, heading towards the living room with his heart pounding frantically in his chest.
Something ran into him, pushing him back against the wall, and before he could realize what it was, a syringe was in his neck and his head was getting fuzzy.
He tried to focus, keening out for Danny. Hoping Danny was okay, that he ran. He pushed away from the wall, keening again. But he didn’t hear a response before he was collapsing back. He would have fallen to the floor, but someone grabbed him. And then he was asleep.
#fanfiction#my writing#batman#danny phantom#dpxdc#dcxdp#red hood#jason todd#liminals#Jason is so close to adopting this kid#Give it like 1 more part#It's going to happen
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(@ftl-faster-than-life HI THIS TOOK A HOT MINUTE WEH Also thanks Tumblr for eating my asks again smh) oH BOY, WHERE DO I START Oh Barry, Barry, Barry, my sweet babygirl, how you've been so incredibly villainized by this fandom I'm going to take this opportunity to address and debunk as many misconceptions about Barry's character that I can remember, in the case if someone who doesn't really know Barry all that well is reading this or to hopefully change some people's minds~
* "Barry is boring": Well, yes but actually no. That's the beauty of Barry--he is designed to be your average, unassuming everyday kind of guy. Problem is, a lot of people think that's all there is to him, but that's really only just the surface.
He has flaws. He's prone to making decisions without consulting his family if he thinks it's for the greater good. You need to explicitly tell this man if you wanna be his lover because he absolutely can NOT read romantic cues to save his own life, he's a guilt sponge, he's weird, he LOVES science and comics and is a huge nerd!! He gets jealous!
Guys-Guys?? He's aN ELDRITCH HORROR??? HELLO????? He is CONSTANTLY living in sheer and utter denial and is desperately grasping his extremely thin veneer of being human, and yet, because of this, he actually puts his family in more jeopardy. Do you even realize how fascinating that is
Barry is a character who also deeply craves companionship/people. He struggles with depression and suicidal tendencies ever since being resurrected. He tries so hard to be what everyone else wants him to be and meet their expectations while failing to take care of himself in the process. He's so much more complex than just "Wally's nice father figure who died in Crisis". People also tend to equate "boring" with "being good/kind" which, you know...I very much disagree with but that's just my opinion * "Barry is racist!" LOL This one is just so wildly incorrect. The origin of this misconception comes from an out-of-context panel Justice League of America #173) of Barry being angry about Black Lightning joining the JL. If you read the whole page the panel comes from, you'd see that in actuality Barry is NOT angry about a black man joining the League but rather, he's angry that that seems to be the only reason Oliver wants him and Barry is (rightfully) calling Oliver out on that. There has been no other time where Barry has a problem with people of color
* "Barry is a Republican" I don't even know where this fanon came from. I think this may have originated from Wally's run where Wally was a conservative and he just assumed?? Barry was the same??? Which is SO laughably wrong (Wally bby, stop projecting on your uncle challenge) For the major part of Barry's original run (and honestly, the majority of the Flash runs after that), he remained largely apolitical . People see a white guy from the 60s and automatically assume he's right leaning /shrug * "Barry's a cop!" Yeahhh, not quite actually. He's a CSI, a forensic scientist, not a blue collar badge sporting cop. He's the behind-the-scenes guy, the one who studies the crime scene and tries to piece together the evidence and bring the culprit to justice. There IS a difference. But people don't really care about the technicalities, tho, they just want to hate Barry and him being "basically" a cop is a fast and easy excuse to do so. And DC certainly isn't helping matters with them constantly pushing the cop agenda for him (thanks a lot DC) * "Barry is sexually-repressed": This is a headcanon I seen a fair amount of and--okay, I get it. Barry is shy and reserved and blushes up a mad storm when someone compliments him. I can see how that might lead people to interpret that as him being sexually repressed/being a prude. But like....Buddy. Homie. Amigo.
This man had more canon sex than Hal Jordan. He and Iris were getting it on FREQUENTLY in the Silver Age and that's not me exaggerating. Just look at Flash #197 where it was Barry's birthday and he and Iris made out and stayed in bed practically the whole day together. Maybe you could say they just did that in the morning and they did other things later buuuut I don't believe that for a minute lol. Or! In Flash #195 where Barry was late to a ceremony of a submarine departure because (you guessed it!) he was too busy exploring his wife's mouth. Just because Barry doesn't make sexually-charged remarks or cop a feel from Iris constantly doesn't mean he's opposed to sex. I see it more as him just being way more private and reserved about it, but he IS very much down to fuck as she is (or Hal! Whichever your ship may be~)
While we're kinda on the subject, I'm really not a fan of the whole Barry being "shojo-fied/uwu-fied" thing, if I'm being honest?? Like, yes, if you give him any kind of compliment, he will blush furiously and stutter. But that's different from him being totally ignorant on what sex is/being a weak, delicate little flower who needs a "Big, Strong man" like Hal to save him (also, like...can we stop treating Barry as the "girl" of the ship just because he's skinnier and smaller than Hal pls and thank you). He is an mid-20-30 year old adult man. And a forensic scientist who probably seen a lot of sex-related crimes in his line of work. I'm pretty sure he knows what sex is, guys (in fact, he would be the guy who actually hosts Sex Ed classes bc the misinformation out there is staggering lol)
"Barry is weak/one of the weaker superheroes": Ok, I've never seen anyone say this persay, but it is very evident in how people portray him a lot of the time. They see his smaller frame and the fact that he runs fast to mean he's a glass cannon (Honestly they do this to a lot of the other speedsters as well) which hi! Wrong again! Speedsters are actually INSANELY durable little dudes. He could tank a punch from Darkseid. He can drag MASSIVE SHIPS behind him!! Wally once punched Eobard with the equivalent force of a dwarf star. Yeah. Now I get whump, I personally love it, I do, but I also enjoy seeing Barry being the absolute powerhouse he is. He can vibrate through solid matter, he can manipulate frequencies, and he's incredibly smart with how to use his powers, always thinking up on the spot improv strategies and techniques! Please stop nerfing him, guys, speedsters get too much of that from the writers OTL * "He's conservative because of his buzzcut!" Ok this one actually had like, a whole article?? On it?? And it truly is so wild lmao. When the only thing people can find to hate a character on is his haircut, you know they have no basis for their argument lol * "Barry is abusive!" Nope. Not even close. People love to pull this as a "gotcha" to Barry fans, regarding the panels of "Barry" beating up Wally and verbally abusing him (The Return of Barry Allen). Except....that wasn't Barry, that was Eobard disguised as him. You know...if you read the full run, you would know that lol You literally couldn't find a more least abusive person than Barry lol. Which actually leads me into the next one... * "Barry was an example of toxic masculinity!" AH yes, of course, with how he's so openly kind and compassionate, how he loves kids and animals, how he openly cries and shows emotion, how he's super respectful of people regardless, how he chugs Respect Women juice all day everyday, how he's contributing to fundraisers to help impoverished people and further medical progress, how he's so concerned about the state of the environment and is firmly against consumption of fossil fuels, how he constantly tells his son nephew he's so proud of him and that he's his hero, how he runs home after work bc he's genuinely so excited to see his wife, how he loves her SO much and smothers her with kisses every chance he gets UGH. How does Iris stand him /s And since we're talking about Barry and how the fandom treats him, I can't not talk about the elephant in the room--Flashpoint To start off, lemme preface this real quick:
FLASHPOINT WAS NOT BARRY'S FAULT
He DID NOT intend to trade the lives of his family for his mom He DID NOT run back in time because he was jealous of Wally (uhh lmao what???? Yeah, I can't even begin to explain how wack that is) He DID NOT run back in time because he was "selfish" and "wanted his mommy back" (unfriendly reminder that Nora is a separate character and shouldn't be treated as just an appendage of a male character <333) Some actual context for non-comic readers: Eobard killing his mom is actually an aberration of the true timeline. It was PERFECTLY REASONABLE to assume that it would restore itself to its original version!! Barry had also traveled in time before in the comics without any repercussions or ill effects, so there was NO CONCEIVABLE REASON FOR HIM TO THINK ANYTHING OF THE SCALE OF FLASHPOINT WOULD EVEN HAPPEN If people had read the issues preceding Flashpoint, they'd see Barry did all of that for Nora!! Because he despised the fact that she had to pay with her life because of a villain of his!! That it wasn't right for her to die for his sake!!
"But Eobard said Flashpoint was Barry's fault-!" EOBARD is A BITCH ASS LIAR who purposely twists the truth to hurt Barry as much as he can!! Of COURSE he would say that!! What ACTUALLY happened is that Eobard is the one who somehow made Nora's death such a critical and important fixture in time to the point of just tempering with that can cause a catastrophic domino effect. Flashpoint is EOBARD'S FAULT and HIS ALONE (and Idk, Doctor Manhattan's too ig if you wanna include him)
Barry loves his family and cares so, so, SO EXTREMELY MUCH. He could literally not be any prouder of Wally if he actually tried!! Everything he does is for his family, even sacrificing his own mental health and happiness for them and it makes me SO sad to see everyone cling to this butchered version of him in their minds (though it's not entirely their fault, DC is also definitely to blame)
#dc#dc comics#barry allen#the flash#eobard thawne#reverse flash#character ask game#dc meta#I tried to scale back my saltiness but uhhh#Yeah it still kinda came out there at the end there lol my bad everybody#I'm tired of seeing slander on my dash#Flashpoint apologist? No no#Flashpoint TRUTHER <3#thanks for the ask~!#Hope it was worth the wait heh
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Unexpected (10/16)
“…So then she would come back to the dorm, totally pissed, at 4 in the morning, run to our bathroom and start throwing up!” Jada laughed. “Ewwww, that’s so gross!” Finn laughed too. Jada nodded fervently, “Yes! I know! I laugh about it now, but she really was the roommate from hell. Which is another reason I’m happy to be here now. She was so weird too and called me ‘sweetheart ’ from day one!” “Hahaha, that sounds like that girl we met on the beach that one time. Remember her? She was foreign or something and called us both ‘sweetheart’; ‘Hello sweethearts, can I ask you something? Okay, thank you, sweethearts’” Finn chuckled. “Oh! Yes! I kept thinking she reminded me of someone! But I couldn’t quite pinpoint who it was, but that’s it!” Jada laughed loudly. “Maybe it was her!” Finn said. “No, she looked different,” Jada giggled, “But maybe they were related!”
Sadie watched and listened as Finn and Jada seemed blind to their surroundings. Three is a crowd, they say, and Sadie was feeling it. She put her hand on Finn’s arm, “Hey, I need to go back. I still have something I want to do back at the dorm.” Finn looked at her, almost surprised to see her, “Oh, right, of course, do you want me to come with you?” Sadie shook her head, “No, it’s okay, you stay here and catch up. I’ll see you later.” She turned to Jada, “It was good to meet you again, Jada, hopefully we can talk again soon.” “Yes, absolutely!” Jada smiled happily, “Good to see you again, Sadie!”
#Look who's suddenly become an afterthought...#atoh#autumn 08#ts3#the sims 3#sims 3#sims story#finn richardson#jada quinn#sadie stevens
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i have a request!
maybe one where steve knows he's bisexual before eddie but ofc, eddie thinks he's straight and doesn't think he has a chance, so he just takes whatever he can get with steve's friendship even though he has the biggest crush on steve and vice versa. but when eddie does find out about both, eddie would be internally screaming bc he could have been in a relationship with him and kissing steve ages ago.
i just love gay disaster eddie and confident bisexual steve haha
THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! This one could genuinely be a multi-chapter fic, so if someone has the time, I would love LOVE LOVE to read that. For now, here's a taste of something that kind of checks all the boxes mentioned but at superspeed. If I could write a 20k fic on it, it probably would have A LOT more pining first. I'm a sucker for pining. I hope you love this little thing! - Mickala ❤️
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Steve was giving off vibes, okay?
Like, major ones.
And Eddie was convinced he was imagining it or just trying to convince himself that something existed where it didn’t to make his chances higher.
When Robin came out, a small part of him believed that Steve had to be at least a little queer. Men didn’t just accept being turned down by someone they liked when they turned out to be a big old lesbian.
But when he casually asked Robin if Steve had ever been so inclined towards the same sex, she laughed hysterically and said Steve was as straight as they came, that she’d never met anyone as straight as him, and that she’d probably end up with a man before he did.
So he let it go.
But then he said stuff sometimes about actors or singers that just left Eddie’s brain a big pile of question marks.
Maybe Eddie just didn’t know how straight dudes talked about other dudes?
So he let that go too.
And then Steve was genuinely checking out a guy at the public pool. There was no other explanation for the way his eyes focused in on his ass and worked their way up his body, a nod of silent approval hidden to all but Eddie.
But he did the same exact thing to Robin when she came out of the changing room, and while he knew he had feelings for her a while ago, they were long gone.
“What was that all about?” Eddie gave in and asked when everyone else started walking to the steps to get in.
“What?”
“Checking Robin out.”
“What the hell? I wasn’t checking her out! I was making sure her bathing suit fit right. One of the things they taught in lifeguard classes was that a too big or too small bathing suit can kill you.”
“So you were just making sure it fit?”
“Yeah. I don’t want her to drown.”
Eddie sighed.
But he let it go.
He stopped hoping for the chance to be more than friends. He was fine with just being friends. More than fine. Great.
He got to enjoy having Steve as a friend.
He didn’t half ass anything.
If he said he was gonna hang out, he was ready to commit the entire day to making sure you had his attention.
If he had everyone over at his house for movie night, he had everyone’s favorite snacks ready to go.
If he was gonna join Eddie at the quarry and smoke and look at the stars, he was gonna do it while making Eddie fall in love with him.
It wasn’t fair.
But he tried to let it go.
It was one of those nights that he found out he didn’t have to let it go.
“You ever just wonder how you could have ever thought you were a different person?”
What? Okay, Steve was high. Past the silly kind and right into the too existential to make sense kind.
“I don’t have a clue what you’re sayin’, man.”
Steve giggled.
God, Eddie was fucking done for.
“It’s just that I thought I was straight for 17 years of my life. And then spent another two years trying to convince myself that I couldn’t be anything but straight. And then life smacked me with Robin and now you and it didn’t really leave me much room to argue.”
“What are you saying?”
“I mean, I’ve had a crush on you since. Well, definitely since you held a bottle to my throat, but probably before that. Like, way before that. Maybe your first senior year.”
Steve was high. He didn’t mean what he was saying, and even if somehow he did, it wasn’t fair to hold him to it. Being high was sometimes like being drunk: the words may be true, but the feelings may not stick around.
So Eddie took a deep breath, bit back the tears he could feel clinging to his eyes and the burn in his throat, and forced himself to change the subject.
It wasn’t fair, but when Steve let him change the subject easily, he let it go.
————-
It took three weeks for him to break.
He was with Steve at his house, waiting for the kids to show up for movie night. Steve was busy preparing homemade pizza because he thrived on being able to cook for everyone.
Eddie loved him so much.
He was staring. He knew he was.
But how could he not when Steve was in that stupid “Number One Dad” apron that Max got him last Christmas as a joke, but he’d sniffled and said thank you like it was the best gift he got in the world?
Steve was humming something, sliding the last pizza into the oven (pineapple and ham for El, Will, and Mike), when it all seemed to hit him.
Steve had come out to him, had admitted out loud that he wasn’t straight and that he’d had a crush on him for a long time.
Sure, he was high when he did, but he’d been high with Eddie lots of times and never given away any top secret personal information like that.
He’d wanted Eddie to make a move.
He was so stupid.
He stood abruptly, nearly banging his knee against the bar in the kitchen.
Steve looked over at him, brows furrowed in concern, lips pouting out unintentionally.
Eddie stalked over to him, not bothering to explain his theatrics. At this point, Steve should be used to them.
He stopped right in front of him, looking down at the suddenly nervous way Steve was holding himself.
He wasn’t letting it go this time.
He sure as shit wasn’t running. He didn’t do that anymore.
“You remember the quarry?”
“Like, in general…or…?”
“A few weeks ago you said something at the quarry.”
“Oh.” Steve looked down at the floor between them. “Yeah. It’s okay that you don’t feel the same. I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that.”
There was no fucking way Eddie was letting him think he didn’t want him back.
He gripped his cheeks in his hands, palms tilting his face up so he could look into his eyes.
Steve was biting his lip so hard, it looked like it could start bleeding any moment.
Eddie brought his thumb over, pulling his lip from his teeth.
“How can I kiss you if you’re too busy eating your lip?”
Steve’s eyes widened.
“What?”
“Stevie. Did you mean it then?”
“Yeah, ‘course I did. I wouldn’t lie about that.”
“Then I need to ask a favor.”
“Anything.”
Eddie wouldn’t let that go to his head. Not yet.
“Can I kiss you?”
Steve’s responding smile lit up the room, more than the overhead lights, more than the actual sunlight streaming through the window.
“Thought you’d never ask.”
Eddie leaned in as Steve did, their lips meeting in a light peck that quickly deepened, moans escaping their mouths at the same moment.
He let his hands slide down to Steve’s neck, his thumbs rubbing small circles as his tongue begged for entrance into his mouth.
Steve was sinking further against him, his heartbeat steady against Eddie’s chest.
“It’s about damn time. Honestly, I was starting to think I’d have to make Steve come out to you again.”
Robin’s voice shocked them apart, but when they realized who it was, they managed to fall back into each other.
Eddie’s arm slipped around Steve’s waist as Steve rested his head on Eddie’s shoulder.
“The kids will be inside in about 20 seconds so if you would prefer they don’t know what’s going on, you should wipe those lovesick looks off your faces and find a bubble of personal space.”
Eddie kissed the top of Steve’s head before pulling away.
“Talk when the kids leave?”
“Yeah. But first,” Steve pulled Eddie in for one more quick kiss on the lips. When he pulled away, he was smirking. “We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”
“I don’t plan on letting you out of bed for the next 24 hours after the kids leave. We’ll at least get a good start on the catching up.”
Eddie threw a wink at Steve, ignoring Robin’s gagging noises, and sat back at the bar.
The kids came running in, circling Steve to hug him or ask him what dinner was and Eddie smiled to himself.
Robin nudged him after a few seconds.
“You’re both so hopeless.”
“Not anymore.”
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#robin buckley#coming out is sort of accidental but not really#like steve is high when he says it but would have told eddie anyway#mutual pining though this is all from eddie's POV#which is weird for me so hopefully it's okay#anon requests#requests#ficlet
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@crazify linked me in a "spell your URL out with songs" post and I was like hmmmm probably not. I'm pretty shy with my music tastes. Then I did this anyway and not only picked song titles but also the specific OC from OIFIL that I would associate it with.
Yes, B is just the same song. I didn't really have many B titles that could fit Rick..... so I just slam dunked him like a leech onto Karen's B song. It actually still works for him so its fine.
#moe talks a lot#my characters#oops i fell in love#i mean like yeah sure i spent most of the day thinking about songs rather than drawing but#my brain is also stuck on i am very stressed and incapable of functioning due to stress#but i do not work tomorrow and hopefully I can rest up#paul is such a funny lil guy who somehow gets pop songs sung by girls and im like yeah thats him#thats my weird little bisexual freak of a guy#I HOPE ITS OKAY I TAGGED YOU BTW IM SORRY IF IT SEEMS WEIRD BUT IT was inspired by your tagging me#so yeah uhhhhhhh cheers and RIP that none of these are by set it off which is one of my current fixations#also fun fact of nearly every song i could think of is right or brent coded#right even HAS a playlist - he is my only oc with his own playlist#also i debated between rick and evelyn but evelyn isnt as developed as a character#so song association was harder
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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UMETAROU NOGUCHI - Demon Slayer [full colour]
more art || character page || commissions
Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @kanos @bbrocklesnar @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @nokstella @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @alexxmason @tethrras @jamessunderlandgf @a-treides @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe @fenharel
#my art*#oc: umetarou noguchi#artists on tumblr#demon slayer#ds oc#kny oc#kny#demon slayer oc#my ocs#original character#character design#digital art#just a depressed girl trying to make herself feel better#I hate waking up on the verge of a panic attack every morning#if this one thing got resolved I would be okay#I think#but honestly im expecting another bad thing to come from all this#so I’ll probably get worse#so while I feel the strength to do so#enjoy some art#here is baby boy#the gender fluid icon that they are#I only have 8 more ocs to render which is insane#they’ll be done soon#hopefully… maybe…#I might update Hideko too tbf#love her general pose but her arms being up feels weird to me#might have her holding the mask at her front?#idk#anyway enjoy I’m gonna go cry some more
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also i want to again apologise for how phenomenally behind i have been with reblogging/responding to artworks on here, including art drawn for me or propaganda for the tournament!!
i'm hoping to start getting to my backlog for this VERY soon, ideally within the next two weeks. so you may start to see an increase of this on your timelines. and if i haven't yet gotten to your artwork don't worry, i most likely have it in my drafts!!!
#delete later#slight anxiety brain related ramble incoming but for folks who want more info:#i went through a kind of really bad brain space where i felt like i could not publicly interact with any art or reblog anything#(especially art that included my character; which i of course want to engage with *the most*)#because folks were being kinda weird about me doing so and saying it was “unfair” while the tournament was ongoing#that it showed bias for competitors if i reblogged their content even if it was fanart for me; or promo'd my own oc too much#even though that was kinda the point of the tournament! 😅💦#but now that it's wrapping up i will hopefully lasso my brain back into good behaviour and get back on top of it!#i'm so sorry to folks who have drawn things For Me Specifically and i have not gotten to you.#i know how that feels and i know how easy it is for anxiety to churn that up into a real living nightmare and i'm sorry if i have caused it#so just to clarify. if i have not interacted with an artwork i'm tagged in or that was drawn for me:#it is absolutely NOTHING to do with anyone who made me art or the art itself. it's 100% all me and my bad brain space.#i love all art!!! i'm genuinely so grateful and i look forward to showing my gratitude better soon!#okay. enough of a ramble!! this has just been eating at me for months and months. thanks for listening!
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tomorrow is my first day back to work and I'm a lil nervous
I haven't been able to get anything written for here bc I've been trying to get a couple other things written (updating my Bill Cipher redemption fic and starting a Gyutaro x reader x Daki because I make poor life choices)
but I'm on light duty for a month, basically just sitting at the register checking people out, unable to do any stocking or anything bc I'm not allowed to lift anything over 15 pounds so I can't lift totes, bend much, or reach much, so I'm allowed to bring something to do in between customers... maybe I'll get some writing done? I feel as if I'll be slacking off bc that's how my brain works
but you know what, I kill myself for that store normally, I don't work full time simply because I can't afford medical insurance if I did, but even working only part time I give my all while I'm there, I'm not someone who slacks off. so if I'm healthfully and approvedly permitted to slack off and take it easy for a month, I guess I'll take it (... plus, I mean, I'll still be working, just light duty, it's not like I'll show up and get paid to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, I'm still gonna be ringing out customers)
ANYWAY MY POINT IS-
get those last requests in! after I get home from work tomorrow, I'll be closing the askbox and won't open it back up till this batch is finished and I swear I mean that this time 😂
#mod post#should I have ordered Jessii Vee merch knowing I am not getting paid for two weeks bc I didn't work for two weeks ? maybe not#BUT DAMMIT THIS IS WHY I HAVE SAVINGS#'weirdness all the way ' button and YANA 'be kind' button and squishy pink gummi bear COME TO ME#... been uh. been doing a lot of impulse online shopping while I've been sitting at home bc idk it scratches a certain itch in my brain#and my mama has been nice enough to be buying most of my food when I usually buy my own just bc it's hard for me to walk around much rn#but I'm feeling a lot better physically I just get tired easily so hopefully I'm gonna be back to buying my own food soon#like I appreciate everything my mom and lil bro have been doing for me but MAN I don't like being UNABLE to do shit myself you know?#I took a shower this morning and it exhausted me and Mom had to be in there to help me the whole time in case I lost my balance or smth#it's better than it was the first week but I still hate feeling like I've temporarily lost some of my independence#I can't wait to shower by myself again and for it not to drain me#which is such a small thing to want and miss but like#OKAY TAG RANT OVER THIS RECOVERY IS JUST DRAGGING#I'm getting old tbh that's what it is I'm 30 and don't bounce back like I used to 😂😂😂😂
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logging in solely over here for a little while methinks, bc goodness gracious i stepped into some shit on my main account 😭 i an going to let my avoidance win just this once bc I don't want to have more anxiety to deal with on top of the usual stuff fjdkdl, i can avoid that anxiety by not logging into my main account for a while... this may backfire on me if the anxiety festers instead of fades though LOL
#i didn't want to say it on my main bc its not a good idea to like... admit smth is getting to u when ppl are sending anons#but good LORD that entire subject is so upsetting for me bc of personal experience and im so ??? horrified that anon thinks theyre correct#absolutely baffling !!! scary stuff !!!#and then i tried turning to thinking abt Guz to distract myself from it#but ofc my brain is evil and was saying that actually Guz would agree w anon and think im being a hysterical prude#so i just had to like. sit and numb myself for a bit fjfkdl#and then i dealt w an earwig on the ceiling which snapped me out of it thankfully LMAO#but good LOARD i hate that it affects me so much. always makes me feel like such a wuss fjfkdl#anyways i think im okay now for the most part :') just a weird evening dealing w that fjfkdl#weird and upsetting. i will admit it. it was upsetting fhdkdl#as much as i didnt want it to upset me it definitely did#but now im going to listen to music and draw and hopefully settle down before sleeping WAUGH#dandy.cmd#vent //
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I can't be depressed, I ate vegetables two days in a row
#my mental health is in shambles lol#I haven't left my house in 4 days#i slept in until 1pm today which I haven't done in a while#the earliest i fall asleep is 2am#im fucking exhausted#it's so fucking hard to get myself to do anything#my brain won't even let me watch the Olympics even though ive been looking forward to the skateboarding competition#this shit is annoying#and it's annoying because i was so confused why this bout of depression happened#but i just got my first normal period after stopping birth control and that shit always fucks me up mentally#and my grandma just fucking died#so yeah not that surprising lol#also my girlfriend is out of town and i was supposed to go with her and it didn't work out so im sure that's not helping my brain feel okay#its just so fucking annoying because i just want to be okay with everything and not break#at least it's not the 'my brain is telling me to kill myself at all hours of the day' type of depression#but this shit still sucks and i hate it#and i don't want to talk with my girlfriend about it because i don't want her worrying about me and i want her to enjoy her time away#and i dont want to talk to my mom about it because actually i dont really know why i dont want to talk to her about it#im gonna be going back to therapy soon so hopefully that shit helps but who knows#anyway brains sucks and grief is weird and hormones are dumb and i miss my girlfriend#but hey at least my brain is letting me eat vegetables again lol#personal
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ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..
#ash rambles 💚#negative#part of it is definitely the weather#it's so dark and dreary and i never wanna leave my bed#but also just. my mood akdjajs I'm kinda down in the dumps today#im recovering from being sick which always fucks me up#and i just cant shake this feeling of anxiety..? and i feel kinda a lot like my f/os wouldnt like me or would fall out of love or never see#me as more than a friend and other stuff like that#i.. actually got broken up with yesterday irl!#it wasnt messy. he said that this isnt what he wanted and it was fine and we're back to being pals. i wasnt sad at all in the moment and#i dont think i am now..? it's weird. we were laughing like always literal minutes after having the chat. when we got together we said that#if things domt work out we wanna keep being friends. and we're doing just that. honestly i saw it coming and idek if i LOVE him anymore#what even does love feel like..? regardless I'm not upset or sad at my breakup since i saw it coming and I'm honestly happy he just. Talked#to me about it. we communicated and then three minutes later went back to talking about x.enoblade LMAAOO it was fun!#but it is ridiculous for me to expect to feel NOTHING at no longer being in a relationship. i cant just feel nothing. i dont feel sad per s#just... in my thoughts i guess? I don't think the feeling of my f/os not liking me stems from me being dumped though. i think thats just me#being me sjdjaksj I'm very insecure a lot of the time. i dont think being dumped helpd very much though LMAAAOO#I'm doing okay i promise. and I'll be alright. theres just both a lot and nothing going on at the same time and i feel... idk what i feel.#i hope my f/os love me 😭 i hope that a lot#and honestly i know this community is ass and I'm more than happy in my own corner with my couple of followers but. ngl I've really felt as#though I'm not valued here and all that junk as of late. yeah just.. i think everything is happening at the same time and I'm tired and#i feel like I'm a confused kiddo who doesnt know anything anymore BAHAHAHA#holy shit it just sounds like i need a shower and a nap huh- I'll be alright I'm just. dealing with stuff akdjsks but i also hate to always#bring the mood down like this! i always try my best to be haha silly and all that shit. I'm just gonna try to daydream about f/o cuddles#(and try to convince myself they dont hate me ofc)#oh and. i know i mentioned this but. i hate the weather. so much. I'm sad all the time. November is actually my least favorite month too 😭#I've gotta study a lot today and I'll try to sneak in some k.urohyou and hopefully start watching monster too but yeah i apolgize if#I'm acting off these days ajdjajs I'm very stuck in my own mind these days. not exactly the most fun place to be 😭#delete later#i mean akdjajs i literally started crying the other day because my friend said that my husband (k.yohei) loves me ajdkahdb come on ash..
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getting an iced pumpkin chai in the morning and then my personal goal is to spend the whole day writing and i hope i can come back to this post tomorrow and rb w how much progress i’ve made!!!
#i have a love/hate relationship w this fic and i’m gonna rant to myself bc hehe it’s almost midnight so why not :>#okay SO. i for some reason just didn’t create any proper outline for this story and i think that’s why it’s taken me so long to write it#because i don’t necessarily have a why/a REASON for this story or plot… like even thinking abt doing the dialogue and trying to find flow +#cohesion is making me so 😐 and also honestly… i’m terrible at doing drafts in the first place#i don’t write linearly i jump all over the place while writing and SOMETIMES i can connect things but this time i could NOT#and i would focus on one tiny part for SO long and make no progress anywhere else like GIRL……… ENOUGH#but hmmmm yeah i also for some reason feel like esp w my writing it’s super robotic and doesn’t have emotion#like i’m not writing w suguru’s voice and instead i’m writing as the author and it’s kinda irking me#if that makes sense… hmmmm……….. also i might be doing dual pov so hopefully it doesn’t look too wonky#but yeah 😭 i need to work on scene setting & describing things effectively + doing show not tell#like i just made a mini outline rn and wow . it’s Not it at all 😭😭😭 there’s no WHY to the story and it’s making it hard to write#okay not necessarily a ‘why’ but like . What’s The Point of the story#sigh. i need to figure that out#also there’s so much stuff i want to add but i feel like it’ll be clunky + it’ll move fast or be weird#but my goal for tomorrow is truly and honestly write the meat and bones of it and then i can edit ruthlessly later on#i was thinking of getting it out this week but i forgot election week/don’t have anything really written either 😭#but hopefully next week if i try hard enough! the goal is before december bc i want this to be a november fic#but yeah that’s my mini vent @ me i’m glad to just talk abt in the tags#feels like for this story specifically it’s been a lot of looking at my docs instead of writing which is WHACK 🤨#also i don’t like my writing style + i want to write better in GENERAL#that’ll come w practice & doing it often though 😭#ALSO . SIDENOTE but why does tumblr not let me link things anymore like NDNDNDND SO STUPID#OOOOH AND . i need to start/finish selfship moodboards & also create wip lists for geto/gojo/toji but for REAL#as in wipe i’ll actually plan to write next not just ones i like the sound of 😭#ANYWAYS I’M SO SLEEBY……… honk shoo mimimi cult leader geto please pat my head to sleep and be kind to me#GIRL THIS IS LONG AS HELL OMFG . silence @ me 🤫 what a YAPPER#personal
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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T shirt that says I still have social issues and trauma from things that happened over a decade ago
#captain’s log#I am getting back in to therapy to process things dw#I just find myself in these spaces and spiraling#because of how much I want to be friends with people or want people to like me#to think I’m fine and normal even or worthwhile but that feeling of wanting to be friends or needing to somehow#in the nebulous space of interaction irl or social media try to cut through and#communicate my personality my worth and my desire for friendship all while risking rejecting#rejection* feels impossible and is within itself very triggering#especially because I get stuck in these spaces of always feeling stupid ugly and like an 11 year old kid who doesn’t understand#but just feels like somethings WRONG with them and keeps saying the wrong things when he tries to make people like him#and that assumed wrongness which begates assumed rejection only makes the spiral worse#hi I will be okay I am fine I am just like. struggling and wanting to not feel weird or stupid or annoying#my last two work environments have been incredibly unprofessional and toxic which I think has triggered all of this#several people I worked with in both places have compared it to high school so I think there’s that#also I’ve made some fantastic and really cool new friends and I feel so frightened of rejection and so unworthy of friendship#also if I ever don’t respond to people it is because I panic and shutdown! haha sorry about that#I’m starting EDMR again this fall so hopefully I will see a turn around#I also think my anti-depressants have stopped working. also thinking about taking my psych up on the referral for Ketemine#anyway sorry I’ll be fine I’m going to wake Will up now so I’m not alone jdkdkskssksksks also eat something
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Rating: Teen and Up
Fandom: Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Relationship(s): Claude von Riegan & Byleth Eisner
Words: 9.5k (Chapter 1 of probably 3)
By Fódlan's calendar, it's Imperial Year 1253, though it's been nearly seventy years since Claude left the country. The Officers Academy, the years of war, the friends and hopes and dreams he buried... all those things are a thousand miles and a lifetime away. Claude has barely even thought of them in half a century.
Then an unexpected guest arrives at his humble Almyran estate, and it's like she's walked straight out of his memory and onto his doorstep. The United Kingdom of Fódlan was left stunned and grieving when their queen disappeared a few years ago, but she’s alive—and while time has weathered Claude’s body and withered his senses, she doesn't seem a day older than when he last saw her, back when he was still a brash young man whose world had yet to be changed forever.
He could tell her to leave. He could say the word and have her back in Fódlan or sitting in an Almyran dungeon before the week is out. But there’s serenity in no longer being the last of a dying breed. Claude could use some company in the quiet and lonely days of his retirement, and seeing a familiar face after all this time might do Teach some good, too.
#fe3h#fire emblem#fe16#fe3h fanfic#fire emblem three houses#three houses#fire emblem fanfiction#byleth#byleth eisner#claude von riegan#silver snow#i finally watched a playthrough of silver snow and it made me so sadmad that i dropped everything else i was working on to write this#prooooobably will be three chapters in total if i don't get excited#no edelgard in this fic.... i miss her. i'm having withdrawals#don't worry i will still find ways to put edeleth content in this. it's my calling in life#i feel a bit weird about this fic as it's 1. in almyra which has little available info and 2. basically every game character is long dead#hopefully the choices i made re: almyra are okay and we can get by with just claude and byleth#lemme know what ya think i guess.#in the meantime enjoy the old man angst
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