#oh wait speaking of getting shredded by cats i totally forgot about that one time- i forgot which of our cats i was handling but i think a

[keeps-ache]

cat bit up my arm Gwah

[thedevildomdaily]

Valentine’s Day Photo Reactions

Valentine’s Day Photo Reactions

 This is a follow-up post to the Valentine’s Picture of my OC Lena. Although I’ve only shared the first chapter of her story with the boys, ‘A Tie That Binds’, I wanted to go ahead and share a bit of their lives and how each of them would react if she sent them the picture in a text.

Master List

Warnings: None. This is my first time doing one of these bullet posts. I got a little goofy thanks to my good friend Alcohol. (Sapphire Gin, Blue Curaçao, cranberry juice, & Sprite n_< ) But I had hella fun! Enjoy <3

Lucifer

Was in a meeting with Diavolo and Barbatos when he received the text.

Merely glanced down at first to make sure nothing was on fire or that Leviathan got pissed and summoned Lotan.

It’s Lena. A photo?

Keeps listening to Diavolo, phone hidden in his lap behind his desk.

Okay, she doesn’t bother me when she knows I’m in a meeting. Better see what she needs to show m-

…

Looks at Diavolo, then Barbatos. Expressionless.

Sneaks another look, before looking back at the other two.

“Lucifer...is something the matter?” Barbatos asks.

“No, why?”

“You looked away then agreed to be a part of a photoshoot to promote the Council...and you just dipped your pen into your tea.”

Clears throat, slight blushing. Definitely pissed Barbatos called him out on it. Diavolo’s guttural laugh doesn’t make it any better.

Lena was definitely going to be punished when he returned to The House of Lamentation. 

Mammon

Was in the middle of sneaking into Asmodeus’s room to find some pricey jewelry or perfume to pawn to pay off some debt.

That was a lie. He was going to buy himself something extravagant instead.

Left his DDD on, full volume, and nearly had a heart attack when it went off just as he opened a very gaudy jewelry box.

“OOOIII!”

This better be good, Lena! Tryna to kill me! Or get me killed!

Looks at the message.

Spaces out for a moment. Just….staring….

Hears a sudden noise of footsteps and starts to panic.

Oh shit. Is it Asmo?!

Starts to bolt for it with his eyes still on the picture, trips over one of Asmo’s ottomans and lands face-first into the floor.

That woman is gonna be the death of me…

Leviathan

Was in the process of achieving every trophy within the latest RPG game he was into. Gotta get that Platinum!

Hears and ignores text buzz.

“Leave me alone you normies! I am going to get that Platinum, then unlock the Super Ultimate Secret Ending that reveals the prince didn’t die. I will find you princess!”

He totally forgot Valentine’s Day was coming up this week.

Received another DDD text from a Human World app that Lena made him download.

Better...answer...Len-ONE MORE LEVEL!...NO!

Lost focus just enough to die. This game was on the hardest difficulty and had limited saves so he gritted his teeth and jerked his phone up.

Could never be mad at Lena for too long though. She was his real waifu afterall!

Sees picture and his face immediately turns redder than Diavolo’s hair.

“GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!”

Sits there in a daze for a while with his hand over his mouth.

“Must...find waifu...but it’s too much! Can I even…Maybe if I ask her...Be brave...”

Mumbles to himself things he might attempt to do with Lena as he gravitates out of his room towards her’s, leaving his game unpaused.

Will have no regrets 

n_<

Satan

Was reading ‘How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You’ after Lena recommended it.

Was told it could provide ideas that he and his fellow ‘Lucifer You S*ck’ chat members could implement against their eldest brother.

Furrowed his brows after reading the first 10 pages. 

Did Lena even read this? 

What was this New York Times and why were they making it a bestseller? 

Humans are strange. And so was Lena

Ah, speaking of the nephilim: a text

He was going to have words with her about this book…

Stares at the photo and..is his bowtie a little..tight?

He would have words about the book...in the morning.

Tonight, he had other plans with the little minx. 

 Beelzebub

Was walking home from Hell’s Kitchen, eating a burger in one hand while toting a giant bag full in the other. 

Heard his DDD go off and crammed the remaining half in his mouth so he could fish for it in his jacket pocket.

Mmmh, fish. Definitely will have that tomorrow.

Sees that Lena had sent a text and smiles cheerfully. Was going to attempt at saving her a burger because it would remind her of her home world.

Looks at the picture.

Suddenly drops his burgers and starts to run.

Turns around and goes back for the burgers.

They would both be famished later….much later. Starving.

Belphegor

Was asleep in the bathtub in his and Beelzebub’s room, hugging his giant cow print towel like a security blanket.

Lena, if she saw him, would probably refer to him as ‘Linus’ from an old cartoon she liked. Especially the one about a pumpkin that children worshipped in the human world. 

Woke to the sudden sound of his DDD crashing into the floor after vibrating off the edge of the sink.

Why are you waking me now? 10 more minutes…

A series of follow-up texts made the phone go crazy. It was definitely intentional to get Belphie to wake up.

“Leeeenaaa….nu..” he mumbled as he reached for the phone. His face was still buried in his towel.

Sees the picture Lena sent and lays there for a bit, staring.

Good thing he skipped classes and the Student Council meeting that day in favor of sleep, cause neither of them were going to get any rest.

Diavolo

Heard his DDD go off during his meeting with Lucifer and Barbatos, but ignored it. He didn’t want the both of them to lecture him about the importance of the matters they were discussing.

Smiled like a happy little teenager in love when he saw it was Lena that left a message.

Seeing the picture, the prince’s smile faded.

“Barbatos. Cancel the rest of my plans for this evening.” Barbatos bowed, knowing how serious his master was.

Whenever he returned to his home, he would teleport the lovely nephilim directly to his bedroom chambers.

He couldn’t wait for Barbatos to arrange an invitation, and Lena didn’t look like she wanted to either.

He’d better transform into his devil form. She was already matching it and he knew she loved to grab his-

“My Lord,” Barbatos interrupted his thoughts, “You have transformed involuntarily into your demon form and your wings just knocked over all the documents...again.”

Asmodeus

Was the one who set up the little photo shoot and worked the camera.

He painted her nails gold and found the earrings to match the ensemble. 

Honestly, he was a fashion genius and she looked almost as good as him. Dare he say equally? 

No, not quite. He was the definition of perfection.

Barely resisted the urge to make advancements in the process. 

“No, lovely!” she chimed as he made final hair adjustments, breathing in the perfume he gifted her...and then adjusted his hair as he gazed upon his own beauty in her vanity mirror.

He respected her wishes. 

The moment the shoot was over, he pounced at the opportunity to ravish his lovely bride.

He was told after the picture was taken, he could ‘take her’. n_<

BONUS!

 Lena

Had to buy 8 versions of the same lingerie and was gonna be broke if they keep shredding her damn clothes EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Was not complaining she had to celebrate Valentine’s Day 8 days in a row, but she’d never been more happy to be a nephilim. 

Needed to thank Solomon for teaching her a spell that made her room soundproof.

Wouldn’t be attending RAD for about two weeks.

Barbatos

Accidentally received Lena’s picture.

Now understood what in the Devildom had gotten into both Lord Diavolo and Lucifer.

“Good for her.”

[wackygoofball]

Moodboard: Jaime x Brienne - Erin Brockovich AU

To send this ahead... I know that Brienne’s character is much different from that of Erin in the movie, but by giving some over to Jaime and twisting and shredding things, I found it a very intriguing plot bunny! :D

Brienne doesn’t have it easy lately. Just recently she had to move into a new, shabby house on the outer outskirt of King’s Landing. She can no longer afford her old apartment in King’s Landing after she was fired from her secretary job because she had to take off to take care for her foster children Arya and Sansa and the boss showed little understanding for a single parent taking care of two traumatized girls. And now she stands there with bills to pay and no one willing to hire her.

Sometimes she really wished Catelyn had chosen any other person to take care of her girls in case of her demise, but as things stand, there was no other way. Bran and Rickon are with Osha and Luwin whereas Jon could not possibly take care of his siblings as he was drafted for service at the Wall. Brienne wants to honor that vow since Cat helped her a great deal in the past, but she feels all the more like failing as she cannot provide for the girls what they would deserve after the losses they had to suffer: their parents, oldest brother, his wife, and their home in Winterfell.

However, Brienne won’t let this stop her, so she goes through advertisements and calls any office offering jobs in the hope to find something new. She applies for a job as a secretary in Tyrion Lannister’s law firm, a small thing that mostly runs itself as far as she can judge. Brienne is little impressed when she meets the boss, because Tyrion Lannister does not strike her as a passionate lawyer. Instead, he spends his time looking after women to check them out and drink from his flask hidden under the table.

Brienne applies not as “Brienne of Tarth” but “Brienne of Morne,” her mother’s maiden name. She would rather not, but whenever she applied for jobs she was linked to her father’s ruined company and her failure to ever become a top lawyer due to personal choices she made in the past. She applied for jobs in law firms as a lawyer again and again because she went to the best schools, had excellent grades, but her past continues to haunt her. She is either overqualified, they tell her, or she doesn't have enough courtroom experience, or they think she is a failure because her father's firm went downhill without her being able to stop it. Thus, she writes applications below her profile, leaves out most of her personal past and just hopes to finally get a steady job to provide for Sansa and Arya. She is desperate.

Tyrion is hesitant at first, arguing that he normally looks for "prettier" secretaries, but he has to give in eventually because Brienne won't budge and proves that she can do the job better than any of the other applicants.   Sansa and Arya give her trouble too, Arya gets into fights at school whereas Sansa won’t stick to Brienne’s rules, stay out late and leave her guessing to where the girl is headed.

So no, things are not easy on Brienne, but she won’t let that wear her down as she, at the very least, finally got a job at the law firm to cover the costs. She works her ass off at the office until she stumbles over what seems to be a small case involving selling property to a big chemical industry called The Alchemists' Guild, a business that focused on wildfire and its derivatives. They want to buy properties close to their plant on the outskirt of King's Landing, in a very poor area not that different from the one where Brienne now lives with her girls.

Brienne asks Tyrion if she can look into the case, after all, she can tell something is odd with the numbers due to her experiences she did not list for her application. He handwaves her proposal, much more concerned with his pretty new “intern” Shae.

Fueled by her wish to finally do something close to her past in the law, Brienne heads down the dusty roads to meet the people The Alchemists' Guild wants to purchase the properties from. While most won’t speak to her at first as Brienne doesn't think she has it in her to make people listen to her, the young woman is surprised when people start to tell their stories. Sooner rather than later, they trust her because she listens to them and gives them the facts rather than what they call “lawyer talk”. Brienne continues to gather information, doing what she is accustomed to as a former lawyer: she talks to experts, puts together evidence, and essentially starts to build a case she has any intention to present to Tyrion once she made certain that she is onto something.  

Back home, things don't look as bright, however. Her nanny quits on a whim, leaving Brienne with no one to pick up the girls, make them dinner and the like until she gets home. It gets so bad that one day, the woman she hired to look after Sansa and Arya just doesn't show up and leaves the girls to walk home all by themselves. She is in a panic until she finds them with the recently moved-in and to her mind totally annoying one-handed biker-wannabe Jaime. He has barbecue with them and particularly Arya seems to like the guy who insists on only being referred to by his first name. Ever since he said he took fencing lessons in his youth and would have no trouble teaching her the basics, the girl is sold on the wannabe-biker. Jaime and she thus suggest to Brienne that she should hire him as the new nanny.

Brienne doesn’t know what to do with all this because a man looking like this, acting like this, making lewd comments all the while supposedly being good with teenage girls? How does that fit? The two eventually agree that he gets a shot at taking care of the girls in exchange for a bit of extra money. Jaime says he can use it because with just one hand, working on the construction sites became difficult and the gigs are scarcer around this season.

And so, a truce is born.

Brienne continues her investigation and puts in all of her efforts as she grows increasingly aware of the sheer importance this case has to the people involved. She starts to piece together that the The Alchemists' Guild tries to cover up literal dirty business, relating to people around the area getting sick in large numbers and their usage of wildfire. Brienne suspects a pattern behind this and figures that there must be a connection between the water supply for the town and the plant.

Thus, Brienne wants to request the records to obtain copies. However, the lady sitting at the front desk of the archive won’t let her in. Brienne suspects that she is in cahoots together with The Alchemists' Guild. Brienne fails to charm her way into the archives, that’s never been her strong suit, which is why she heads back to the house feeling like an utter failure.

Back home, she sees that Sansa and Arya really take a liking to Jaime, who runs the house just fine, if a bit unconventionally. When Jaime sees Brienne drag herself into the house, looking like someone just took her favorite medieval sword fighting film away, he wants to know what's wrong with her. She won’t admit at first, after all, Brienne hates to show weakness, but Jaime won’t budge and continues to poke her for information until she gives in and admits that she failed today.

“The downsides of being as ugly as a mare: I can't charm my way into the archive,” Brienne sighs.

“You can be charming in your own way if you try.”

“Shut up. And anyway, it's a lady.”

“Doesn't mean you could not put on a flirty face. Maybe she's looking for a bit of an adventure after all. I don’t judge.”

She rolls her eyes. “I never should have told you.”

“Fine, fine, I stop. I stop,” he laughs. “But I may have a solution.”

“Which is?”

Jaime points at himself with a smug grin. “Me.”

“You are the solution how? No offense, but you don't inspire... confidence in your legal status, shall I say?” Brienne scoffs.

“You said it. It's about flirting. And I am really good at that.”

“Are you? I did not notice.”

“Because I have no intention of flirting with you. I am your employee after all. If you properly compensate me, though, I can do expand my services, only just for you, wench.”

“Compensate you.”

“Well, you will have to give me a bit of a starter to set things up. For that, you get all the copies you want so desperately.”

“You are supposed to take care of Sansa and Arya. That’s what the truce is about, remember?”

“And they will be gone for a whole week for that school trip, remember?”

“... I forgot.” Brienne grimaces. It rubs her in the wrong way that Jaime already handles things so well that she finds herself forgetting things she wouldn’t have, but the job consumes so much of her time that she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

“Thought so,” Jaime chuckles. “So I got nothing to do anyway. Give me fifty stags and I will get you those copies tomorrow after we dropped the girls off. Deal?”

“... What's the worst that can happen, huh?”

Brienne is to find out the next day, remaining rather irritated by Jaime’s cryptic messages who says he will meet her outside the archive and that she is supposed to wait for the “big show.” She doesn't know what to expect until a very suave looking Jaime walks up to her, dressed in nice clothes, his hair in a neat bun, beard trimmed, stump securely hidden away in his fancy jacket, looking nothing like the biker she got to know and yelled at the first time she met him.

Jaime is having his dear fun at Brienne’s ogling at him before proceeding inside and charming the lady into giving him access to the archives. Jaime pretends to be an “intern” working for some “nasty lady” who only ever treats him badly.

“She yells at me and only ever bosses me around. Can you imagine?”

“Oh, trust me, I can.”

Brienne is bound to wait until Jaime re-emerges with the promised copies, looking like he just won the lottery. Brienne almost feels tempted to hug him, but just almost. Jaime is feeling pretty ecstatic at her blushing and evidently checking him out. He tells Brienne she can request his services again any time she needs it.

“Though next time, you may have to take me out for dinner afterwards.”

“… We’ll have to see about that.”

Brienne finally feels a bit vindication when she comes to the office, ready to present her findings to Tyrion, but that hope is instantly crushed when she finds her desk cleaned, stuffed into a box, and the other employees looking at her with nothing but misgiving. When she demands to know what is going on, Tyrion calls her to his office to inform her that he can’t keep a secretary who doesn’t come to work, seemingly having forgotten that she told him she wanted to investigate this case, and to top it all, he does not appreciate that she lied about her identity. He reveals to her that he did some research on his own and figured out that she is actually the “infamous” Brienne of Tarth.

Brienne is enraged because he dug through her past without her consent, looking at what she tried to bury, all of that pain that cost her so very much, not just the family company, not just her reputation as a lawyer, but also her father who died shortly after he had to file for bankruptcy due to business partners making bad investments on his behalf. She storms out of the building, furious but also desperate because she just lost her source of income.

Back home, Jaime is fixing things around the house to the best of his abilities. Brienne loses her cool a last because she can't afford to pay him anymore, she can't do anything right.

“Everything I touch, it just breaks apart.”

She confesses to Jaime at last what went on in her past, tells him all about her father’s failing business, how her father didn’t involve her in the business until it was too late because he wanted to give her the freedom to follow her personal mission of defending those people in court who couldn’t defend themselves. She tells Jaime all about her father’s death, and how that left her with massive debts to pay, but despite her experience and education, she was forced into taking small jobs, hide herself, because she never made more out of herself when she still could.

“And now I am not just failing myself, I am failing Sansa and Arya. Seven Hells, I am even failing you. I am failing everyone!”

To her great shock, she finds herself in the arms of the man she has a truce with. Jaime comforts her and holds her close when her world is on the verge of falling apart. And for the first time in a long time, she simply lets go, allows herself to accept that comfort, to let someone else hold her when she is so used to keeping it together for others.

Jaime trusts her with some of his past at last, something she never demanded of him to know, how he lost his hand during his time in the military and returned a war veteran with trauma but no family to support him when it mattered. His father just wanted him to join the family company and his sister could not care less about him as she was too absorbed into her own affairs. Even his little brother, who used to look up to him, wasn’t there for him when it mattered. Jaime only ever found joy in riding his motorbike and eventually he was so fed up with the family that he could not take it anymore and simply started to drive, never looking back.

One thing leads to another and the two fall into each other’s arms and into the bed. And for a time, things seem fine again, however broken, because Jaime is all the things Brienne wouldn’t have thought him to be when they first met. He is soft and caring as well as witty and snarky. And Jaime finds that with Brienne, he can finally talk to someone who understands, who bothers to listen, who doesn’t look at him as a lesser man for the choices he made, for the hand he lost and the lifestyle he chose for himself. For the first time in a long time, neither one feels alone in this world.

Sometime later, Jaime takes the girls out for something fun to do so that Brienne has the house to herself and can make some phone calls to find a new job. Brienne is surprised when shortly thereafter, Tyrion winds up on her doorsteps. He says he read her report and finally understood that he was being “kind of a cock” for thinking she was taking time off without telling him and was indeed working this whole time as she had insisted.

“I just thought you were lying,” he admits.

“I don't, not when it comes to those things.”

“You lied about your name.”

“I put in my mother's name because whenever I applied with my own, no one would give me a chance. And I find that kind of unfair, wouldn’t you agree?”

“It is... So, can I come inside?”

“Under the condition that I will throw you out the moment on I am fed up.”

“I suppose I will have to agree to those terms, Miss Tarth.”

Tyrion and she sit down for a long overdue conversation about the case. Tyrion lets her know that he is now convinced that she is onto something big. He wants to work the case, with her, and have a look at the research she gathered but did not include in the report she left at the office before storming out.

Brienne, remembering Jaime's words about how she has to see more worth in herself, demands not just her job back, but to be accepted as who she is and what she is, lawyer Brienne of Tarth. And a raise. Tyrion likes the change of tone and agrees, telling her that he found a replacement anyway, in Shae.

“She does not know how to file reports, but she is good at making coffee.”

“I suppose that's not the only thing you see as being of merit.”

“Far from it.”

“Be it as it may... I have one more condition.”

“Which is?” he wants to know.

“If we go to court with this, if we really work this case, you will cut down on your alcohol consumption. I won't have a partner in on this case who sleeps under the office desk. The people I talked to, they matter to me, their lives depend on our success, and I won’t let someone in on the case who isn’t a hundred percent committed to the cause.”

“I am a very highly functioning alcoholic.”

“Cut it down or cut me out. Your choice.”

“You learn fast.”

“I may have a good teacher, though he still has to prove himself.”

Tyrion asks her to have another look at the archives because there must be more to what she currently has. Brienne says that she will have to ask her “friend” to do that, letting him know that she had no luck whereas her friend did. Tyrion is amused by the arrangement and jokes about how that sounds more like this “friend” is to her what Shae is to him. Tyrion suggests to her that he should meet that guy as well, to instruct him on what to look for. He has a greater knowledge regarding those matters than Brienne happens to have because he worked similar cases before. Brienne agrees to the arrangement.

That is the moment Jaime returns with the girls. Brienne tells him about the good news, only for him to go completely blank when he sees Tyrion and Tyrion sees him. Brienne doesn't know what's happening until both drop the bombshell that Jaime is Jaime Lannister and that this is his brother. Brienne never mentioned the name of the law firm to Jaime because he said he did not care.

As it turns out that the brothers were estranged after Tyrion took off to Essos to work for Daenerys Targaryen as a legal advisor when Jaime would have needed him most after the loss of his hand. When he made the cut away from Cersei and Tywin, Jaime thought Tyrion would stand by his side, but he did not. Instead, Tyrion rather kept out of the affairs and hid away in Essos. Jaime never forgave him that and broke with him the same way he did with the rest of the Lannister clan.

Jaime leaves the house in a hurry, unable to deal with his brother and his past catching up to him. Brienne goes after him and comforts him, to “return the favor.” While she won't ask him to go back to the archive and thus help his brother, Jaime says he will do it because he's seen what wildfire can do in the warzone under Aerys in particular, and he could not live with himself if he let people get away with using it.

“Just don't expect me to make peace with my brother.”

“I don't.”

“Then the truce remains intact.”

The work continues and the three work on their parts of the case. Brienne keeps gathering evidence and interviews to connect the dots, Tyrion preps up the battle tactic alongside her and gets back into his old game as the stellar figure he used to be in court despite his height, and Jaime ventures through the archives and on occasion charms his way into the hearts of the locals they have to interview when Brienne can't seem to get through to them.

However, big trouble is on the way and one set-back hunts the next. Running out of money, subtleties from the team of lawyers they are up against, files disappearing, threats, and unknown phone calls are only some of the problems they are facing.

The investigation starts to take its toll on Jaime’s and Brienne’s burgeoning relationship. Jaime doesn’t know whether he can commit to this kind of life he slipped into, after he embraced a life without strings attached for so very long. Brienne, for her part, can’t slow down and dedicates almost all of her time to he work. She would love to spend more time with Arya and Sansa, but she has a responsibility towards those people, she made a promise and has to keep it, has to, has to, has to. However, she also struggles with her feelings for Jaime because she doesn’t want to hold him back, well aware that he is still coming to terms with his PTSD he suffered in the war. She doesn’t want to burden him and doesn’t feel like she can make him stay. After all, she is not flirty, is not charming, and bad luck just keeps sticking to her flat heels.

And all of that happens in the midst of a legal war about to begin between The Alchemists' Guild and Brienne and her team.

But will they win?

Will justice win?

And what may be the costs of that battle?

Only time will show.

Additional Image Source: Erin Brockovich (2000).