#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym

[girlthativealwaysbeen]

it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come

[takeiteasyjoan]

Okay okay I think when December starts, I think I'm gonna go ahead and get a Planet Fitness membership. My plan will be to go Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. Probably just try to do what I used to do, 30-45 minutes treadmill, 30-45 minutes on the weight machines, and then like 15 minutes on the elliptical to end. Probably to start I'll just do the treadmill for a couple weeks because I stopped going to the gym regularly in like 2017(?). I'll also use "Couch to 5k" or a similar app to get me going with the running because, again, I have been pretty sedentary outside of my retail job for like 7 years so yeah.

[markiv3]

stray kids as romantic tropes

with little to no context

ot8 not proofread guys my bad

bangchan - friends to lovers

like wbk... he's got that friendly aura and i think he'd just befriend you thinking that you were just a pretty person but it turns into something more. he'd be very open about his feelings when he realizes how he feels i think.. and he'd confess with flowers and a nice dinner hoping to charm you but there's no charming needed cause he's just the best guy ever.

minho - college sweethearts

OKAY SO what i think is that it would be a love at first sight oh trust he fell first and harder and like campus would be so fun starting from the day you first saw him until you finally got together like.. he'd be flirty all the time omf like he'd mess with you playfully and hope you would catch the hints. he'd catch himself grinning and smiling after talking to you and all his friends would tease him about you but he wouldn't care cause he is head over heels TRUST!!!

changbin - newly married couple

oomfs i think he'd be the perfect husband i'm not even playing like walk with me... he goes to the gym, he can cook, he would be down extremely bad for his partner LIKE TRUST. his love language doesn't exist cause he uses them all like his rich ass would buy anything you asked for. when people ask him if he's bored of you now that you're married he's just shocked because how could someone be bored.

hyunjin - strangers to lovers

as i have said before he just looks like a stranger you'd meet on a trip and he's just the best person you've ever met like.. you'd stay with him for a while maybe and it would be the best ever: treats for you every morning, flowers, presents, kisses, portraits, paintings, hugs and lots of hopeless romantic stuff. he just has that mysterious aura that makes him the perfect stranger that turns into something more.

han - brothers best friend

he'd be your brothers awkward friend that comes over once in a while and talks to you looking at the floor cause he got no game and he's loser number one but once you get more comfortable he's just so funny like you find yourself laughing at his stupid jokes all the time. i think he would always have a crush on you since the day you met but won't say it cause you're his friends sister.

felix - childhood friends to lovers

liiikeeee doesn't he just feel like it or am i crazy... he's so warm and cute and fuzzy.. you two have been friends forever (there would probably be a lot of like right people wrong time) and you both realize you like each other but are too scared to confess in fear of ruining your friendship so it all remains a secret till it probably slips out from one of his friends and well you know the rest.

seungmin - enemies to lovers

like everyone says this but i think its so so accurate like he'd be perfect in an academic rivals or office enemies; he would tease and annoy you at any occasion and then realize he's fallen for you but won't admit it ever, and i think he'd become even more annoying when he realizes that he likes you just to suppress those feelings.

jeongin - secret relationship

so errrm hear me out okay, it's the way he's so careful with stuff but he's also so secretive about his feelings i feel like when he finally gets himself to confess and you agree he just needs time. that time would be spent hiding every kiss and holding hands under the table and then walking back to wherever you need to go pretending you're still just friends when you're much more, but only you two need to know that.

i might write these extensively and seriously but i just wanted to put this out there cause ive been thinking about it for so long

[chihomichannel]

firefly.fromm

| pairing: oikawa toruu x gender neutral!reader | summary: in which you love him enough to let him go | genre: angst | warnings: slight manga spoiler | word count: 980 | a/n: hiii, it's clem. it has been years since i last posted and since i even finished any story. i have been in college (still am) and it has been really tough. i have been meaning to write but couldn't find the time to do so since i've been so busy. i just finished summer classes and only have two weeks of break before the new semester starts (killme) i hope i can write again since i miss it a lot. i also feel like i have been lacking in writing skills since i haven't been able to write as much anymore. anyways, that's why ive been gone and i hope you enjoy this short fic!

��play! "firefly" by FROMM

Did you have to fall in love? Looking back to all you went through, before he was yours, during he was and after he wasn’t anymore, was everything leading up to this moment worth every pain, every flutter of your heart, every moment you shared with him? He was there in the first of your everything, as you were in the firsts of his.

And now, as the night descends upon your heads in hues of violet and pink, the reality sinks in that you’re nothing but just a faint light existing within his radiant dream. Outshined over by everything, you were just an obstruction hindering him to get closer to his dream.

It wasn’t that you weren't important. It was just that compared to volleyball, you were just second best to his heart. Always the second priority but you can’t even find it within yourself to hate him for it. Because you love Oikawa Tooru. And you understand him more than anyone. You understand his dream and you want nothing else but for him to achieve it.

And you know he loves you just as much enough to tell you he won’t go. And your heart, as much as it was happy that he chose you, you felt a pang because you knew, this wasn’t the right thing to do.

You hold him, taking his hands and bringing them up to your lips, giving them a gentle kiss. You hid your pouring heart, halting the tears for later as you stared at the whirlpool of his light brown eyes. Memories you shared with him flashed in your eyes, a smile painting your face as you gazed at him fondly.

You think back to the playdates your families arranged. You realize, Oikawa has always been a part of your life. He had been there for as long as you remember. A default in your life, a constant presence akin to a family. You’ve always thought that he will always be a part of your life as he had always been since you were kids. In your mind, he was forever.

You don’t remember when you fell in love with him. It was just that one day you woke up and knew he was the one for you. You always denied it though. Because he is your best friend. And most of all, as you like to argue, he is the Oikawa Tooru. As much as he is a great friend, you’ve seen him with girls. And you’ve concluded that he wasn’t your type. Especially with that arrogance and pride of his. And so when you found yourself in love with him, you wanted to cave and bury yourself 6 feet underground.

You blamed the constant taunts from others regarding your friendship with him. Being childhood friends and all, almost every person you’ve encountered has teased you with him. Friends, family, teachers, classmates, etc. You thought it was just peer pressure. Fleeting like every guy you’ve liked. But that one night, school was over and you stayed with him in the gym when he refused to leave, determined and focused on his game. You realized you’ve judged him out of spite of your new found feelings. You wanted to push them away but as you watched him, you accepted your feelings with a quiver of your lips.

Nothing changed, or so you thought. You never acted on your feelings but instead chose to silently love him in secret. It wasn’t a risk you wanted to take in fear of destroying the relationship you’ve built with him over the years. And maybe, you will never ever make a move if he hadn’t done it himself.

It was during the cultural festival of your second year of high school when Oikawa Tooru went out of his way to confess his love for you. It had been unexpected, but the grandeur of it wasn’t. Everything just spoke volumes of Oikawa as a person. And who were you to refuse him when you are also completely in love with him.

And so at seventeen, you and Oikawa spent the remaining years of highschool making the best memories that are to be treasured for as long as you remain on this earth. But even then towards the end of everything, you knew at some point, it would have to end.

Because if it didn’t, Oikawa would never move forward. And the thought alone that he loves you this much was enough comfort for you to do what you had to do.

And as you stand there under the moonlight at six o’clock in the evening of a summer night, the wind a subtle presence as your foreheads touched one last time, taking in the moment to bask in each other, you gave a kiss on Oikawa’s lips. A declaration of your love and a silent goodbye as you let him go towards his ultimate love.

The moment was gone as fast as it happened, you hadn’t even realized the next morning that while you were asleep, Oikawa had gone towards Argentina. You had accepted it, you knew you had. But the pain that he was no longer yours and you couldn’t even see him was excruciatingly impossible to heal. But all you could do was silently support him. To go on with your life just as he had. Because in the end, even though you both still loved each other and possibly for as long as you live, this was for the best. For him to achieve his dream and for you to move forwards towards your own. 

Even if it hurts now, eventually it won’t. Eventually, everything would be okay again and both you and Oikawa would finally be happy towards your own paths. Because even if you love each other, yourself will always have to come first. And so everything will be okay.

Hopefully

also posted in my AO3 acc

[comphetkoncass]

truly wasted my entire weekend doing titans towers builds. but it was my time to waste and i wasnt rly able to leave the house much anyways so. its chill. and ngl the build looks fucking stellar. i was finally able to use the hidden object and move objects cheats as a console user again (it refused to work for MONTHS) and i finally can do the shit ive been wanting to do for forever. once it's done ill upload it and no one will download it bc it uses like. every pack. and thats ok <3

and yes i made TWO titans towers. one for all the housing. and one for all the stuff they gotta do. housing tower has a room for donna, kory, raven, and a guest room on a girl's floor, and then a floor for dick, wally, vic, and gar, and two rooms on another floor for roy and garth. wahoo! donna's is a little bit 70s groovy, lots of wood paneling and photagraphy. she shares a bathroom with raven, who has, predictably, a dark gothic sorceror vibe. across the hall from them is kory, who's room is as brightly colored as possible with a ton of plants and bright pictures. most of the guys are downstairs. dick's needs a little something, but i made sure to add lots of unmarked boxes because this guy never unpacks, but what he does have is a lot of sleek red and black and white equipment. and a picture of an elephant. few momentos, mostly corkboards and tech and maps. he shares a bathroom with wally, who's room looks like a pretty normal college jock. he has a treadmill and posters and is the only one with a mini fridge and microwave in his room. across the hall are vic and gar. they both have a mini gamer setup. vic has a lot of tech but a few sports momentos as well. gar... lots of animal print, and some gamer setup stuff. it's also a mess. upstairs above the girls, we have garth, who's space is very beach themed. under the sea lookin room. every picture of the sea i could find. and a bathtub. he has a bed too but i think he sleeps in the bath mostly. and he shares a bathroom with roy who has a very sleek playboy looking room, mostly brick and black accents and a dart board. and on the other half of their floor we have a community meeting space to talk shop, and then on the top floor we have as faithful a recreation of the 03 show's main tower floor :)

im 90% done with the rooms (vic's needs a bit more love and gar's needs....... something........... to make it look less ugly) and i'm maybe 70% done with the other tower.

the other tower, the top (fourth) floor will be a massive gym, on the third floor there's a pool and locker rooms (done) second floor there's storage (done) and a big meeting space (done), and on the first floor there's a medical space (done and it looks awesome) and across the hall is a big science area. haven't started on the gym yet but the medical space and science area are mostly done (science area is pretty simple since it's just a matter of giving them space to build skills).

anyways these are going to probably cost at least a million simoleons maybe more plus will have an insane electricity cost, but thats ok, dick and roy can afford it

[cemetery-irises]

i am going insane. woe my hyperfixation amalgamation be upon ye now and forever (yes. pokemon team posts part 1)

now. ive explained norton before but i wanna revise it and sound more legit/put together than i did when i flung this at mach speeds to my friend gold BUT

first off. the toxtricity. as i've said sooo many times norton's born and raised in spikemuth, and he takes pride in it. despite the rundown/dilipadated appearance, the locals are still upbeat and lively, and piers keeps it all kicking. norton has a lot of respect for piers as well-- despite how he's a gym leader, he's in the same situation as the rest of spikemuth, and he's super fair about everything he does. i think while norton was younger he'd help out in the ways he fan. maybe he babysat marnie from time to time! but basically, he holds a lot of pride in his hometown and he has an equal amount of respect for piers despite being older than him (i see piers as about 25 to nortons 28), and he likes showing off what he takes pride in! toxtricities appear to charge attacks by strumming the chords on their chest, resembling the motion one would make playing a guitar :] i decided on the high-amp form since norton is fairly competitive during the battles themself (though he recovers from losses with a lot of grace. its pretty much a hobby to him so he doesnt get too worked up) and also, toxtricity tend to be somewhat arrogant as norton can be :]

ok. okay so. meowth/perrserker. i know the fandom didnt recieve this line very well (i wasnt too fond of it either) but. listen okay. meowth are generally known for collecting coins. the galarian meowth are specifically tougher due to being seafaring companions, and kantonian meowth dont get along with thwm. alolan meowths, who are used to luxurious lifestyles, also don't get along with their galarian counterparts, despite being the same species with little differences. perrserkers also enjoy battles and are competitive :]

corviknight is. kind of a stretch but bear with me. i gave him a rookidee originally for the sake of the new fool's gold accessory for this season, the broken cage, since rookidees have yellow feathers similar to canaries. also as an offhand reference to leave the mines. the corviknight itself symbolizes wanting a change of pace/scenery/environment for similar reasons, since in galar, corviknights are a means of transportation (one of the only ones other than trains or bikes if you dont want to walk) and they can go wherever its desired to.

barboach are cavefish that are local to the galar mines! overall the line just felt fitting </3 ive not much to say on it

the wimpod...... the wimpod is so very dear to me. little bug that scurries around his feet. they're cowardly and also native to galar mines, and i imagine he shooed away some other pokemon that were harrassing it (stunfisk perhaps) and afterwards the wimpod kind of just. followed him around the rest of the day so he caught it. he hypes it up so much and is very encouraging towards it, and it becomes his ace pokemon once it evolved to a golisopod :3

as for the boldore, he's had it since he was a kid. as a roggenrola, it was one of the only things his dad had gotten norton before his death, and norton bonded with it quite easily. despite not wanting to be a rock type specialist like the other workers, he's very attached to it!! overall, he cares a lot about his pokemon and you can really tell how much he loves them and how proud of them he is. he's one of the (arguably) few people who fully realizes how important pokemon are, and how much they've helped shape society since he'd never been someone to take anything for granted.

orpheus deross..... thw only person who could rival bede's bastardness.......

honestly, i wasn't sure what to do with him. i just knew he should be a dragon type trainer because it'd be funny for frederick's fairy type ass to mop the floor wjth him immediately. however! there is reasoning for some of them. actually really just the appletun. norton gives him an applin and he decided to keep it with him + evolve it. also, i think noivern's personality is somewhat like norton's so it'd be funny if orpheus told norton he reminded him of his pokemon once or twice

[dpurut]

feet vent. lmao. im serious though

ok this is actually the smallest problem i have going on rn but i swear im at a tipping point and this may be my last straw. I am about Ta Explode. Right now.

I have the flattest feet in existence plus a joint disorder so what i have are basically full rectangles for feet. Ive had my current pair of shoes for 5 years i think. Theyre split at the seams, torn apart, the soles are worn, anything you can think of those things are Busted. I need to get new shoes because I can’t walk in these anymore, it hurts like hell. But YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! we went SHOPPING. FOR SHOES. oh swell.

skechers used to be the only brand i could trust to have wide shoes. None were available. I got frustrated. Tried a few more brands. Got even more pissed off. I tried on some converse for fun but i literally started ugly crying in the store when i put them on because they look like SHOE shoes not some excuse of a shoe made of foam like all the other ones ive worn since birth. I had to take them off really fast bc they were digging into my bones. Its still bothering me.

I know there’s no such thing as a normal human body and i wouldnt change anything about who i am right now bc its whats shaped me as a person. But for once i just want some “normalcy”. To not wear the ugliest shoe. For once. This has been going on forever. My elementary school principal used to stop me at the school gates every day to yell at me about wearing the wrong color shoe. I had to explain to her every time that we couldnt find a shoe that fit me in the right color and remind her my mom had spoken to her numerous times since the start of the school year to inform her. Every time, she called my mom again and held me up so I’d be late to class. Gym class was even worse for a million reasons but that’s another topic.

I want to take a walk. I want to hang out with my friends for more than an hour each time. I want to swim, play volleyball, football, whatever the fuck ball or something i dont know. I can’t do that. I just can’t. And I want to, but I won’t ever be able to. And as long as I can’t find new shoes that fit me, i cant do the rest pf the stuff that i normally can. These americans with their long ass thin ass feet dominate the shoe market and im just a fly circling around it. Im sick of it. All my ocs are gonna have box feet and theres nothing anyone can do about it and in THEIR UNIVERSE, GOOD SHOES EXIST.

[deergroove444]

Soooo i decided to start journaling on here since its easier and might be fun 😝

The song of the week (or day) is He’s My Man by Luvcat!! I looooooove it sm, i lovr that specific vibe. Me and my friend that im staying with listened to it in her car while we were shopping! We got some snacks, food, sushi fish and PUMPKIN SPICE protein bars hehehhe. We’ll see how they taste tommorow! I have seriously GYATTT to start eating more protein…i want to make progress faster in weightlifting. I only had around 45-50g of protein today…yikes!

Today was pretty nice, even though my ed thoughts have been wild hard for the past 2 days and i’ve had a bashing headache and stomachache for some reason??? Yes i do have tummy issues but its usually not that bad. I saw with the pookies in the library for the first time in forever and i didnt wear makeup to school! I had a cute fit on (long white skirt, cute black top, black zip up) but i was SOO COLDD DAWG. I really love my friends but i feel like i cant get a word in with them. I also feel like they are often talking about the same thing and i can’t say anything…or can’t say much. To be honest i get along with xeo the most but i don’t see them a lot and i haven’t hung out with anyone for a while. They make plans with themselves which is obviously okay since they ate best friends but im never invited and ive been feeling like they don’t want me there. At least make plans not in front of people you’re not inviting…especially your friends :,) it makes me scared that im not being a good friend. I often worry about that.

Im so tired. Ill just go to sleep. My thoughts have been unbearable…hanging out with my friend (H) has been fun but IM STILL TIRED. We walked her dog and talked about neurodivergency and our life updates and what we did today! Also what food we like and what we actually like doing after school. Then we went to the store and got nummy chocolates! Sooo yum, ive been craving dark chocolate for so long. We had sushi for dinner and i had a snack while she did the dishes! We made tea and studied on her bed :3 she took the cognitive functions test and she got INTP & INFP <33 i feel like shes more of an infp hihihi i love my pookies

Today i felt like i was going insane. A T break will be good i think. I want a f so bad and im trying to learn how to persist but also be patient and non obsessive. Not an east task for ocd lols.

Goodnighties!! I felt like i made progress with feeling actually happy even for a second. I genuinely laughed in gym, or atleast more genuinely than before. Im really trying my best to feel my feelings. I often feel as if i dont and like i just cant really feel them or not have negative feelings behind it. So im happy that i noticed a change :3

[noel-rine]

it’s a matter of wanting to stay in the same place you’re comfortable forever or doing something new for a change. yeah it’s scary trying out the latter, but with so much that’s happened? the latter is honestly my favorite. do new things. you meet different versions of you that you thought never existed. it’s quite interesting to look back at the old me in comparison to the me now.

i so can tolerate loneliness better than i could in the past. it does not hurt me to play on that jungle gym or be that lonely kid on that swingset while others you knew before are together enjoying themselves. rejection- is something that hurts no longer. personally- if you choose someone over me? please, by all means- have them. but understand i will not chase you down. i like to choose myself and can find solitude in it. have them, but i prefer to go my own path after so i hope ppl who chose others enjoy their life without me because im not a person you come back to when things fall apart or you suddenly feel my absence weighing you. you will figure it out and i wish you the best and i truly hope youre happy without me. genuinely, at your happiest and hope that happiest grows within you as time goes by and your memories with me fade even more to a point it does not hurt thinking of me any longer. being alone is not anything that hurts me. the past months- ive been in the darkest pits. getting myself out for the most part- on my own.. and with the help of some and one person i can call my friend.. best friend.. has lead me out of that hole. i am not the same person ppl knew months or years ago. i will not go back and beg for ppl to come back at all. are there some nights where i think softly of past folk? yes. can i go back and smile to some old memories of them? yes. is there a chance i want them back in my life? truthfully? the answer is no. unfortunately, rebuilding isnt something i want to do. if i wasnt a person that can fulfill your life, i mean this in friendships/relationships/everyone thats gone now…. then believe me when i say someone will eventually replace me and for the better possibly. i wish you all the best and hope your life turns out even better without me.. just understand. regardless of how changed i am… those who knew a version of me… some part of you i take into the next version of myself.

right now my heart is in the wildest place. it is in a maze of thoughts…. places…. with a certain person i come to grow for… someone i call my best friend.. i may have met you months back and youve been helping me- seen the worst of me… broken and lost all hope for myself. and right now even as i am.. in a maze…. Luna, i wont deny your feelings for me as mines for you have grown over time 🖤

i still remember the words you told me six days of meeting me…

“maybe you made mistakes.. maybe you lost a lot of people you loved… maybe you want to be alone right now… maybe you even hate how im here with you and prefer for me to leave you alone… but even as you are noel…. im going to stick it out cause i know i can help you be in a happier spot in life. you may feel you lost it all and feel like nothing matters. but noel, improvement is never late. show not to me, but to yourself that you can change for the better. you might hate me being here right now telling you this and probably want me to leave, but i wont. im going to sit here knowing you may think im annoying and going to make you change into someone you thought you couldnt be. youre my friend and i care to see the biggest change within our time together in this life as friends. noel, im here for you.”

i still have this entire screenshot… of you saying this…. i- mmmm…. did change… a lot since the past three to four months… you… my best friend… Luna….. are my biggest… admiration.. never gave up…. and still are here each day…. but now… your feelings for me have grown a lot. each day you keep reminding me of how you enjoy your time with me. and�� during that time months ago… in that moment. youre right… i wanted to be alone… i felt annoyed. felt like no one can help me…Luna….

im in this maze… of thoughts about you. i cant even sleep. im just up. rereading past messages exchanged between us as youre asleep right now softly and happy getting a “goodnight” message from me as you snapped at me of how cheery you get….i…mmmm…

I too have fallen in love with you Luna… I love you..

[indigo474]

monday 5/27/24

another day, another work out and more food prep. My ass will feel about 2 inches lifted tomorrow. I worked out hard. I finally feel OK- I'm hesitant to say 100% because I tried to run today and my lungs weren't happy. I managed though- so maybe 93%.. maybe 94. Almost better. I can feel myself getting stronger at the gym and I was able to increase almost all my weight. It is a slow process- hard, and less hard and back to hard. Tomorrow squats. No squats on Monday- I have to be mentally prepared- I did hip thrusts today which are fairly new for me. I almost made it 6 months without watching porn. I've been masturbating a few times a day for the past few days and I didn't feel like working for it so I put on some porn. I miss sex and wish I had someone to have sex with.

My life is boring- so boring- i'm in this routine, which is good but boring- I do want to run more. I haven't been running enough but I have noticed that my body feels absolutely fucking great- no pain whatsoever.. my life is so boring that I want to run more to make it what?? less boring? I'm going out with MArci on Friday, probably to the Buck- i'd rather run after work but being social is important too. I mean, i am sure she has a lot to tell me. I dont understand why she wont have a drink alone- i think she actually did 1 time but has since said she doesnt drink alone- its annoying and i dont get it. I was all ready to trip today but the weather - yuck. it would have sucked being wet and stuck in my car feeling uncomfortable. next weekend. i have my bag packed and i am ready to go. i threw some pictures up on a dating sight- i'm just not sure how much time i want to invest in it- none really. i cleaned my house and even did my windows. windows never bothered me- its kind of nice to just be here- to just enjoy my home. it's peaceful and i am happy here- i spoke to my mom. we were supposed to talk yesterday which i forgot- totally forgot we were supposed to talk- i remembered today that we were going to talk to each other yesterday. She's almost 70 and still smoking and eating tons of sugar. how? why? she was mad at me for not calling- i honestly forgot. she said something about teasing me as a kid- if i remembered. yes, i fucking remember- you use to make me cry. she claims she stopped teasing me when i started to cry.. that's not how i remember it but i say nothing because i see no point in arguing with her- between my childhood trauma, as an adolescent and my adulthood trauma it's kind of amazing that i am able to function at all. ive been through some pretty messed up stuff. i guess to some extent we all have - and that is why i will be healing forever-which isnt a bad thing- healing and growing and evolving and learning-there is no finish line.

[echoesofadream]

no literallyyyyy I loved when he was rawr emo boy grr !! but now he is wealth wealth rich Justin Bieber going insane. I guess we should have seen it coming, considering his young debut age and big success ofc hed land in that weird space eventually... aw this Made me kinda sad actually like it was funny being like yucky greasy long haired sweaty gamerboy but actually hes just child labor ptsd crashdown era :(( maybe he can collab with vernon and make a cringey emo song and get motivated to become a rockstar instead of twitch streamer? *have u seen Vernons solo its. its uh im really embarrassed I will forever remember the review a mutual or something posted "the song/mv is like something I made up to make fun of him" lol...) oh my god im getting more and more stressed thinking about jungkook now... even tho im not following him super closely cause yeah I dont have time to watch all those lives cheesus I dont rlly like lives anyway unless theyre special like tea time w hao or jungkook drinking wine or the hilarious bts live the legendary one anyway.... many worries.... also I agree maybe drugs would be good for him? its best to suffer in swagfull ways if u should suffer but I fear he doesnt have enough swag like, technically its swag to be an alcoholic but Liam Payne of one direction is swagless so his alcoholism is cringe so I think maybe jungkook couldn't pull of drug addiction unless he like killed someone maybe or became a girlblogger ? hmm much 2 think about and im sooo tired im gonna sleep now zz goodnight echo -misa ofc

Hi hi good morning misa hope you slept well 💞

wait you’re right. This must be a really confusing time for him because he has everything he could ask for but all his members are doing different stuff and like what should he do? When hes been working for one goal since literally t h i r t e e n y/o literally a CHILD. Like he has strived to be an idol and the best and given everything he has, literally sacrificed his youth. Like i would be so lost. But it seems like maybe he is just chilling. Maybe he should keep the dog…

That said yesssss can he PLEASE make emo music I KNOW hes got it in him, he can make IU-esque ballads also, punk rock indie pop.. but he should become a rockstar.. well whatever he wants i mean i think he just needs direction.. baby boy… AKDJFK thats so funny i think i saw something similar that vernons* lyrics seemed AI generated but yours is even funnier. Yeah good idea. Also no I cant watch his like three hours lives no matter how much i love his voice id rather just listen to decalcomania 1 hour version than all those endless kareoke covers. Hmmm yes all the fics ive read where hes done drugs hes been in like a downward spiral and im afraid theres truth to that, i think he could possibly go overboard also especially if he needs the drugs to do music. And hmm he does seem to be drinking in those lives and idk how to feel about i mean its his life i just mean theres a difference between decadence and suffering artist. Not to self insert on my favorite kpop boy but i think he also has the addiction gene. Maybe he should stick to the dog walks and gym routines for the sake of his wellbeing and maybe just go be a twitch streamer if thats what he needs💔 i feel like hes got so much inside of him to let out but its stifled by the fact that hes a 20 smth (idfk) millionare whos been cut off from the outside world due to being an idol since literal childhood. ok wow this is depressing. :/ i agree he should kill someone, he needs new demons

*playing Sad girl by lana*

[firststayfortea]

i still havent changed it

*starts crying because i was asked to use my full deadname in my schools google account*

[myownjadedpieceofmind]

Let's catch up, shall we?

So... sometime Tuesday I came down with a migraine from hell. I attributed it to looking up at the fireworks the night before and working front desk that morning. Well, Wednesday that migraine progressed into a full body flare of every symptom I have. My skin broke out in hives, I couldn't hold down any food or water, every single inch of my skin hurt and my joints literally burned.

I spent all day Wednesday in the hospital due to a kidney infection that put my autoimmune system into hypersensitive setting. I got iv fluids and antibiotics and figured I could just go home and deal with the rest of my issues from there. Honestly, I'm a veteran to the kidney issues, so I generally just self care once I get the antibiotics to kick the crap.

That was the wrong idea. I went back to the hospital that night and was admitted. I got out late yesterday afternoon.

When I came home, I got the mail. A large envelope from social security letting me know I "do not qualify for disability under the definitions of disabled conditions, and there is no reason why I can't find suitable work given my conditions." Weird, because every single thing I've been diagnosed with, and continue getting diagnosed with, are all listed in their qualifying disorders. The disability advocate group that took on my case probono seems to think they can help me out, so it just means i get to wait til we appeal and battle it out. At least I have someone to help, and they aren't trying to stick their hand out for profit.

I had to work this morning. Don't know why when the majority of the morning was spent watching the boss train the new chick how to do morning routines. Oh well, it's $44, and right now, that's a whole lot.

The boyfriend has a problem and we are headed to the cherokee nation hospital where he has coverage to get his shit checked out. It's a hard thing to talk about as a dude, but... he's had a lump on his testicles and has played off like no big deal. Until it became a painful lump, and now it's looking like an emergency surgery to repair some damages. He's done Jiu-jitsu and mma for the last 17 years, at the very least. The amount of damage he's taken to that area, well, it likely contributed to the issue thats going on. Anyway, the local dr didn't want him to waste any time getting this figured out, so, that's what's next.

I'm working tomorrow. My daughter lost her job and smashed her phone in the same day, so her luck is about like mine. I feel so bad for her, but what can I do??? I told her if she could make the drive here, she could have one of my older samsung phones. But, as it is, gas isn't cheap and her car hasn't had an oil change in FOREVER.

If I played the lottery, I'd be praying to get just a tiny chunk of the win, like $6k. Enough so I could pay my bills, stock my fridge, take care of my daughter so she isn't without a phone, pay for my son's gym membership (the best mental health the kid could ask for), get my truck serviced, and maybe buy some new fucking underwear.

The irs owes me around $10k over 3 years in returns. Like... 2 years of the returns were filed late, and I get that they are short staffed. But, how entirely awful is it to know that I've got that kind of money out there, but I can't touch if til the irs deems it worth their time. Imagine the penalties I'd pay if I owed them money for years??

Oh yeah... and since I was in the hospital, the orthopedic dr put off my appointment for another week. I've been sneaking my arm out if the splint from time to time over the last 2 days...my skin couldn't handle the restriction while I was so sick. The nurses that were doing my iv screwed up so bad, I have 9 bruised punctures up and down my arm. They only had the one arm to abuse thanks to the splint. But, I look like hell. I don't even know how I'm gonna dig out of this shithole.

Here's hoping for some good news to roll in. I could use a silver lining.

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 6

a/n: DKFJSLDKFSJ OMG YOU GUYS IVE LTR BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS FOR SO LONG AACCKKK!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also, omg im screeching bc BAHAHAHA THERE IS GOING TO BE A SLIGHT PLOT TWIST YOU GUYS!!!!!

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

- Ever since yn got lost during a trip to another school, the team made the rule that she has to hold one of their hands. Its probably so small compared against the boys. She got lost cause babie saw a cat

SKDLFJLSDKFJ EWWWWWWWW IM SCREECHING IN DISGUST RIGHT NOW LIKE THATS SO DIS COS TANG OIKAWA TOORU LIKE LEAVE MY GUY ALONE!!!!!!! #LETMAKKILIVE

lmao yep this is really happening

okay so anyways

you guys know how seijoh is like known around the prefecture right?

and we all know that nekomata and old ukai are like besties so they were talking over the phone right

and nekomata was complaining that his players were already fed up with playing against the same people and they wanted to be challenged and wanted new exposure to other players and all that jazz

old ukai was cackling at the other side bc haha youre actually begging me to find you new teams now?

but anyways

theyre like besties forever so ofc old ukai would help

and by help, he turned to poor zaddy keishin and told him to look for teams that could be sent up to tokyo and play against nekoma

‘what?! im already busy and i dont have time to scout-’

‘YOU WATCH YOUR TONGUE BOY! I CREATED YOUR FATHER AND WITHOUT HIM, YOU WOULDNT BE HERE TODAY!’

‘BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME I WANTED TO BE ALIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE!’

family goals 😍😍😍

but keishin still listened to his grandfather and recommended seijoh as being the one to go as they are one of the hardest to beat opponents in the preferecture

but its more like he wants to hear about nekoma being destroyed by oikawa’s service aces and grovel at their feet since naoi always made fun of them saying country boys arent as good as city boys

LIKE PLEASE

anyways!!!!!!

nekomata got word of it and immediately phoned aoba johsai and talked to the coach 

‘yes, i heard from an old friend of mine that you are quite strong’

nekomata praised, wanting and desperate to have them come up

‘and do you think your team is good enough to beat us?’

LMAO YESSSS GRANDPA IRIHATA!!! DRAG THEM KITTIES!!!!

WAIT NO THAT SOUNDS WRONG

but they settled on their disagreements and decided yep they were going to go up there and have a practice match

however

irihata and nekomata wanted their boys to be kept in the dark about who this team is as knowing them, they have sources to find them tapes of old plays

they wanted it to be a fair match

even the managers were being kept from it as they could easily be influenced by the players for that information

irihata walked into the gym and announced a team meeting to which they stopped

you sat down next to kyotani, who pulled you beside him and wrapped a protective arm around your waist

‘we have a practice match against a prominent team up in tokyo in 3 days. make sure you have your plays right and pat down as they are known to be quite an opponent’

the boys shouted a determined cheer and they all hussled back to practice

you were running around, tending to everyone with towels or medical tape

once you finally sat back down on the bench, you noticed your phone screen light up, indicating someone sent you a message

it was natsu

you swiped open and smiled softly at his picture

it a selfie of him in front of his school as you told him to send you a picture that he arrived safely

‘got here in one piece since im not ready to meet daddy satan yet’

i hate him you guys

after receiving news of his mother gaining custody of him, he cheered and was able to go back to tokyo without his father in the picture

lets just say,,, hes not nice

anyways

you were sad to let him go but you understood he missed his friends and his almost-boyfriend so you were able to say goodbye easily at the station

‘gross but im pretty sure katsuki would blow satan to smithereens’

‘hehe ;) he would’

‘N A S T Y’

you cringed but giggled and the team noticed so they tried hard to gain your attention back on them

‘aaa!!!!! y/n-chan!!! my leg!!!!’

‘i think i chopped off my finger!!!!’

‘my head snapped off my body!!!!!’

you rolled your eyes and placed your phone down before walking over to mattsun to help him snap his head back on his neck

finally, it was the day of the match

you were arranged to stay the night at tokyo to have a few practice matches with this unknown team

the team was arranged to meet at the train station at 9:45 since the train leaves at 10 

you arrived the earliest to keep track of everyone and just because you were actually kinda excited

theres this weird feeling in your stomach that isn’t exactly bad but its,,, giddy

you sat on the bench, waiting for the team 

they all started arriving one by one and you were doing a headcount for everyone but you were missing one

you checked your phone and you noticed he was getting late

it was already 9:54

you hate it when people are late to meeting time so you were slightly irritated

you dialed up your captain’s number and you stood up, pacing around

‘hello~~~~ y/n-cha-’

‘oikawa-san! do you know what time it is?! you were arranged to come here at specifically 9:45 but its 14 minutes passed that so where the hell are you? you better have a good excuse you piece of-’

‘aww y/n-chan oikawa-san is sorry’

someone whispered in your ear from behind and you flinched, surprised at the sudden person

oikawa wrapped an arm around your waist while his other hung up the call and you turned around, arms crossed while pouting at him

‘sorrysorrysorry!’

he apologized and you rolled your eyes

‘i swear, oikawa-san. if i find out it was because of your hair again-’

‘oi shittykawa! your sister just called me and you left the curling iron on, you stupid bastard!’

iwaizumi’s shout made oikawa sweat and pale 

your eyes glinted dangerously 

‘this is the last straw, oikawa-san’

you growled and he shot down to his knees and was about to start praying to you when the coach decided he had enough entertainment for the day and called everyone to gather around

‘heres your tickets. this train will get us there around lunch time so dont worry about getting hungry’

the shinkansen train had 2-person seating so everyone fought secretly amongst each other to sit next to you

literally, their private group chat was blowing up until early this morning at the shouts and yells of everyone caps locking their arguments as to why they deserve to sit next to you

the only one who didnt was mattsukawa issei

bc quite frankly, he didnt care who he sat next to and although it sounds nice to be next to you, he isnt exactly the comfiest to sleep on due to the obvious size difference

lmao like your head probably wouldnt reach his shoulders bruh

now youre not oblivious

or blind

so you noticed the glares of everyone as you all stood for the train to come

and you also noticed mattsun just standing there, bored, so you sneaked over to him, wrapping your arms around him

‘arent you excited, mattsun-san?’

he gasped quietly at your sudden appearance but he smirked

‘its nothing special. just another team that we’re going to beat’

you giggled at his confidence and you walked in front of him so you could properly be held by him

it was practically second nature now by the way he just opened his arms and you crashed into them, his own wrapping around your shoulders to hold you tight

‘i love your confidence so much mattsun-san’

he flushed red and furrowed his eyebrows, head turning to the side to hide the obvious effect you had on him

‘whats the point of playing when you cant be confident’

‘aaaa why are you looking away mattsun-san!!!’

lmao when the team saw you sitting next to mattsun, they all felt so betrayed like bruh

ltr kyo and iwa were about to go feral

oikawa was like ready to screech his ass off but one look from you made him shut up

‘i sincerely, really, truly hope youre just complaining about the seat hurting your flat ass, oikawa-san’

KDFJLSDKFJSDL Y/N NO STOP IT

it was kinda funny actually bc everyone was all pouting and sulky while you just have mattsun who’s smirking like ‘beat that’

SDKFJLSDKF I LOVE MATTSUN’S SMIRK LIKE PLEASE OMG

ofc he let you sit at the window bc you love window seats

like iwa, he also pulls up the arm barrier thingy and you shuffle closer to him and mattsun practically combusts

the ride isnt expected to be very long but you still found yourself sleeping during it

mattsun has his arm around your shoulder while your head is leaning against his peck man boobie 

omg its so cute like he actually slides lower on the seat to help you reach his shoulder and hes slouching and back is hurting just for you

;’)

he was awake the whole time bc he couldnt sleep with his heart beating so hard it might rip out of his chest

ew thats kinda gorey

your hand was gripping his own and to pass time, he found himself fiddling with your fingers 

an unknown smile appeared on his face at the obvious size difference between yours and his

a finger traced different and foreign shapes just to feel the softness of your hand and he combusts again when you unconsciously squeeze his hand

mattsun couldnt help but bring your linked hands up and kiss the back of yours

it was soft, gentle, and his lips lingered there for more than a second

then a sudden feeling of fatigue washed over him and he leaned his cheek against the top of your head 

the last thing he remembers is the smell of your f/s (favorite smell) shampoo

then you guys arrived in tokyo

irihata had to personally wake you all up because even naoi fell asleep and everyone fell asleep

irihata gently shook mattsun awake and when the boy opened his eyes, the older man nodded over to your form

‘gently wake her up’

as if mattsun didnt already know

thats why he softly ran the pad of his thumb on your cheek that was exposed to the air

‘y/n~~’

he coos and your nose twitches, in between the border of dreams and reality

‘darling, wake up, baby bear’

FSDKLFJSDLKSDJKFJDSKLFJSDLFKSJDLF YOU GUYS I CANNNNTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also im listening to kataomoi by aimer  so that kinda influences the ‘darling

his deep voice that surprisingly reaches a level of quietness made your eyes flutter

your whole face scrunched at suddenly being woken up but the sight of mattsun’s genuine smile made you mirror it and cuddle closer for an extra dose of warmth

‘hmm, is my baby tired?’

he teasingly whispers and you nodded, snuggling even further and he gently cups your face

his hold had made your cheeks squeeze slightly together and your pout increased the cute factor 

‘nwoooo dont skweeze demmm’

you slurred and he chuckled

‘hai hai’

‘kwiss it better’

you demanded and he full on laughed before moving his hands to your jaws so he could plant many kisses on your cheeks

the repeated kisses tickled so you giggled and squirmed

‘aaaaaa mattsun-san it tickles!!!’

your playful protests forced him to stop and allow you to actually sit up

as usual, your hair was a bird’s nest and mattsun attempted to settle it out

‘hah, y/n-chan your hair is like another being itself’

he choked out and you pouted at him

‘so mean! mattsun-san is so mean! baba-san! rescue me!!’

yahaba was known in the team to be the one who fixed your hair and you trusted him the most with it

hearing his name being called, the pretty boy dashed towards you and mattsun’s seats

‘is senpai giving you trouble again? come, honey, come to baba-san’

mattsun gave him a look for the younger’s passive agressive tone

oikawa immediately dashed over right next to yahaba

‘oh? y/n-chan! oikawa-san is here!!’

iwa and kyo growled

‘SHUT UP SHITTYKAWA!’

meanwhile irihata and naoi were just done

they just wanted to get off the train like is that such a big favor?

finally!!!!

seijoh was able to actually make it to the city and ngl, despite living in sendai, you were actually overwhelmed by the bustling city of tokyo

there were people all over the place and many cars and you were being pushed around

it didnt help that it was ltr lunch hour and a flurry of business people just flooded out of their buildings

you unconsciously gripped your bag and focused on just not tripping over people so your eyes were trained on your feet 

then in the corner of your eye, you saw a tiny animal that was in danger of being stepped on so you ofc had to go chase after it

you shouted at some people to watch out and to not step on it

but then it disappeared

the moment you looked up, everyone was gone

you panicked and your head was turning from side to side

‘MATTSUN-SAN?! IWA-SAN?! KYO-SAN?!’

you shouted but it seems your voice wasnt loud enough

GIRL YOU GOTTA MANIFEST THAT BULLHORN VOICE

worry and dread bubbled inside of you but you stopped, just trying to calm down and think

then you saw the flash of white again so you hurriedly ran after it, not knowing that you were straying away from the city and towards the suburbs

you noticed you were now lost at the less amount of feet walking and this wasnt the city and you were now away from the team

taking yoru eyes off of the cat, you looked around to confirm your fear and that gave the cat an opportunity to disappear again

yoo crookshanks

huffing a curse, you pulled your phone out of your bag and dialed each 

your phone wasnt reaching the boys and no one was picking up

what the heck

you ended up at some quieter and less crowded spot 

like a neighborhood

you contemplated calling natsu as he lived in tokyo but tokyo was a big city and you were at some neighborhood so its highly unlikely he would know where you are

so you just walked around, looking for a place to sit and think like a park

then you heard a distressed meow

you were just walking and hearing that loud cry of help made you stop and immediately follow the sound

‘kitty? kitty?’

you called out even though you knew fully well they didnt understand you

but the cat cried even louder and you heard another cat

it was less higher pitched and honestly, you just felt like there was another cat

as you looked around, you saw the same cat you followed after and it bobbed its head at you as if asking you to follow him

‘you want me to go with you?’

the cat blinked then turned around and started walking

‘okay then’

you took the time to inspect the actual color of the cat

it was dominantly white furred but it had multiple colored spots, mainly yellow and brown

you eventually ended up at a large tree with a cat shivering on the biggest branch

it was black and had some fur sticking out at the top of its head and it looked young so its probably a kitten

you tutted and reached out your hand but it recoiled, hissing at you

BOI SHE TRYING TO HELP YOU WHAT

‘hey, i want to help you’

you softly said and maybe youre just doctor dolittle? 

bc it stopped hissing and started whining instead

‘kenma-san! i swear i saw it just now-’

a sudden foreign voice made the black haired cat hiss again and this time, even you were counted as a threat

the appearance by the corner of two boys made you glare at them

one was freakishly tall with grey hair and scary green eyes while the other was shorter and had bleached hair that grew out

they both wore running shorts and black shirts and they looked like they were on a run or something

then you had a thought

this guy was tall

he could help

‘hey! you!’

you waved and the boys stopped, eyes wide

they pointed to themselves and you nodded

‘yes, silly! especially the tall one!’

the other had a flash of a glare that disappeared almost immediately but the ‘tall one’ happily skipped over

‘oho, hello chibi-chan’

KDFJSLDFKSDJLFDKSJ YES IM CONDENSCENDING

you puffed your cheeks out in anger at the nickname but this was not the time

‘that kitty up there is stuck. and i cant help it because its scared. and its all the way up there’

you pointed and he nodded

‘i followed that cat here too but i needed someone else. thats why i brought kenma-san’

your eyes shifted to ‘kenma-san’ who was focused on the other cat who also stared back at his spot by the tree

hmmm, they look kinda similar

‘well! we need to help it,,,,,, grandpa-san!’

taken aback by the nickname, the tall guy gasped while the blonde boy choked out a sudden laugh and you giggled

‘GRANDPA?!’

‘yea. you know cus you have gray hair’

you reasoned and he was about to retort when he stopped himself

‘no. we have more important matters in hand. kenma-san, come stand on my shoulders. chibi, use my jacket to catch it if it falls’

you scrambled to do your task but you heard kenma-san mumble

‘you cant tell me what to do’

‘oh hey! whats your name?’

you asked and the tall guy waved

‘im lev. haiba lev. first year’

‘kozume,,, kenma. im a second year’

‘oh! then nice to meet you! im l/n y/n!’

introductions had to be cut short as you all assembled

kenma wobbled while lev cringed at the obvious pain but they gritted their teeth and kenma lunged to grab the cat 

but the cat jumped away, falling to the ground where it was caught safely by you

thankfully the jacket saved you from scratching but after a few soft whispers of reassurance, the kitty calmed down and it resulted in just shaking

‘its okay. we’re okay. i got you’

you were completely oblivious to the fact that kenma and lev were on the ground, bleeding after falling, or the shout at the distance

‘kenma! lev!’

‘Y/N-CHAN!’

you three turned to see two groups of boys coming from two directions

on the right had a guy with black hair similar looking to the cat on your arms 

while the left had your familiar looking captain

‘oikawa-san!’

you shouted and he ran up, eyes wide with worry

‘where were you?! why did you run off?! you shouldn’t-’

he rambled but your eyes stopped at the appearance of your familiar pink-haired cousin

‘natsu?!’

you shrieked and he had an equally surprised expression

‘y/n?!’

he shouted 

‘what-!’

he started but you beat him to it

‘why are you here?!’

you pointed to the people behind him

‘im,,, a manager. im a manager for my volleyball team’

‘volleyball,,,’

you trailed off

‘VOLLEYBALL?! NEKOMA?!’

you knew of your cousin’s school but you didnt think you guys would meet here

‘shes your cousin?’

someone piped up from the back and natsu nodded, still looking at you

‘oya? the apple doesnt fall far from the tree, then. hello gorgeous, the names kuroo tetsurou’

KSLDFJDSK I HATE THIS LIKE PLEASE HES JUST A NERD YET I WRITE HIM LIKE THIS I HATE MYSELF

‘HAH?! YOU BACK OFF!’

kyotani started but you caught him in time, holding him in your arms

‘nooo,, calm down, kyo-san’

natsu’s nose crinkled and his mouth curled

‘ugh, nice to see you too, brat’

‘BRAT?! YOU BASTARD!’

‘IM A THIRD YEAR, YOU BASTARD!’

kyotani was held back by oikawa and iwa while your cousin was with that kuroo guy and lev

you hurried back to the rest of the team and they each glared at you but they had an obvious expression of relief

‘do that again y/n-’

‘i know, makki-san. youll use a leash backpack’

lets just say its not,,, the first time youve been lost

‘new team rule. youre holding someone’s hand at all times. no matter what, always hold us’

yahaba scolded and watari nodded

meanwhile, mattsun grabbed your hand and gripped it tight

‘youre never leaving my sight again’

his tone was different from his usual playful and teasing voice 

you knew he was very worried and that made you feel really guilty

‘im sorry’

you whispered and he pulled you to him, hugging you tightly

‘its okay. youre here right now and thats all that matters’

you nodded and you turned your head, leaning on his chest to watch oikawa yelling and shouting at this kuroo guy while your cousin and kyo were arguing and you chuckled

this was,,, chaos

‘dear god, you shouldve let me be lost for a few more hours’

you mumbled, smiling lightly when mattsun’s chest vibrated as he laughed

‘take me with you next time’

‘i will’

you hummed

‘Y/N-CHAN! YOU ARE NOT GOING NEAR THIS-THIS MONGREL!’

oikawa screeched, stomping his way over to you

you smirked

‘oi kuroo-san! lets hang out after the match!’

oikawa screamed

a/n: now that my nekoma manager is out, i can finally have a manager x manager interaction and uwuwuwuwu just wait until i finish the others and ill do that req anon sent in ;) if you sent it in, you know what im talking about ;)

[iwadori]

Hiiii can i request prompt 53 with tsukki? My annoying cousin u may know @chibiiichan(i cant tag her its a surprise) recommend ur account and well she never been right more than now I LIKE UR ACC TOO URM JUST TAG HER IN THE POST (bcs its actually her birthday next week monday so....the least i could do this bcs she likes tsukki and shes recently talk abt the iwazumi story of yours....lmao shes cringe but in the same time got mad n i was besides her hearing her whining like bruh 'its 1 am'...i know i should buy something for her but she got spoiled enough 💅...that mf-) thank you ✨

‘ALWAYS AND FOREVER’

TSUKISHIMA X READER

2K WORDS

GENRE: ANGST,FLUFF

TW: SLIGHT AMBIGIOUS MENTION OF SUICIDE/ASSISTED DEATH, AND DEATH, CURSING (IN MY A/N)

THIS IS FOR @chibiiichann Happy birthday, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS (BECAUSE I HATE IT :D ) SOOOOO YEAH I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY.

NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL. EXPECT SLIGHT MISTAKES

You were dying. You knew it. Your husband, Kei, knew it. Even friends you haven’t spoken too since high school knew it.

So why did you all pretend that everything was okay?

5 year old Y/N:

You were running around your neighbourhood park chasing after butterflies, without a care in the world. As you were frollicing in the grass, you manage to trip over a rock tumbling to the ground scraping your knee making it bleed. Looking down at your slightly injured knee, your lip begins to quiver which eventually leads to wails of tears streaming down your face.

“you don’t have to cry you know?” said a slightly quiet voice towering over you. Above you was a boy, quite tall with a fat pair of glasses, golden eyes and a head full of blonde locks.

“Well when I get hurt, I cry” you say matter oh factly (is that the phrase?) rubbing your nose as you sniffle. He held out a hand to you, which you immediately took shooting upwards and brushing yourself off.  

The boy, after looking at you wildly, turns around and walks back to the actual park. “Oi wait,” you call at the boy swiftly following him “aren’t you going to ask my name?”

“no.” he says simply, proceeding to walk ahead.

“well my names Y/N L/N pleasure to meet you,” you say jumping in front of him so he doesn’t move, waiting for him to tell you his name...which he doesn’t. “you don’t have to be so rude you know”  

“I’m not being rude” he says stiffly “ it’s just my brother says not to speak to strangers” a smirk appears on his face to say ‘you can leave me alone now.’  

As if on cue, his brother approaches the both of you given the boy a slap on the back making him cringe “Hey Kei, who’s the friend you’ve made here?”  

“My name is Y/N L/N and I'm here to be KEI’s best friend!” you said putting the emphasis on the word Kei after just learning that was the blondes name.  

Kei rolled his eyes and sighed saying “nii-chan can we go home now” he folded his arms in annoyance.

“No Kei, you’ve got to get to know your new found friend Y/N-Chan right?” his brother said teasingly, knowing it was the last thing Kei wanted to do.

“Yes ofcourse!” you say with a toothy grin, dragging Kei along with you to his demise.

Until the sun went down, you spent the rest of your time with Kei getting to know eachother (well him getting to know you more, since you did all the speaking.) Regardless of his previous annoyance in getting to know you in the first place, Kei would be lying if he said he didn’t want to know you now.

As the sun was setting, Kei’s older brother (who’s name you learned was Akiteru) called him to tell him he had to go home because dinner was ready. Before he left, you grabbed his hand and wrapped your pinky finger around his saying “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

back to present -  

In some odd way, this was Kei’s way of looking out for you. He knew what you had was uncurable and would weaken you even more as the days go by, so pretending like nothing was wrong seemed to be best in his eyes.  

Everything you and Kei did was a game or some nostalgic act that you once did when you were children. It was sweet to say the least, seeing Kei all engrossed and determined to make you happy.  

Your alarm rings snapping you out of you daydream, ‘it was time for medicine’ you thought with your face scowling at the thought. Immediately on time, as always, Kei comes In the room with all your medicine thats needed.

“Aren’t you my perfect little nurse Kei” you say teasingly giving him a wink, laughing as you see his face turn red.

“Do you have to do this every time y/n?” he asks rolling his eyes at your childish behaviour.

“Oh I'm just showing love to my best and favourite nurse” you continue laughing at your own words

“Im your only ‘nurse’” he deadpans giving you your medicine as you talk.

“Well that is more reason to make you the best nurse.” you say smiling.

Silence falls between you, and you stare down at your arm watching as your husband gives you the medicine making you frown. “Do we have to keep doing this?” you ask which is probably the 1000th time you’ve asked.

“Of course we do Y/N as I’ve said yesterday and the day before that and the day before that it-”

“But do we really?” you interrupt “I can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep doing this.”

“Do you doubt me Y/N, I can do this forever” he says “ I can take care of you forever”

“But I don’t wan-”

“I’m finished, I’m going to start on dinner” he gets up and leaves the room yelling “I’ll call you when it’s done.”

Sometimes you and Kei have these conversations. And all the time it ends the same way. You complain, he ignores and then you go and have dinner.

You can understand why he doesn’t want to have this conversation. Who would want to hear about their partners complaints about practically being alive. Kei was torn, ever since he met you all he wanted to was to keep you happy. But could he compromise his own happiness for it.

15 year old Y/N - flashback

“Kei Kei, aren’t you excited!” you yell smiling widley

“Excited for what?” he asks, amused by your enthusiasm “it’s just highschool.”

“Well it’s a new highschool! Karasuno high school, to be exact.”

“And that is still just a school.” he says

“Not just any! That’s the school nii-chan went too, and even tho he lie-”

“Let’s not talk about it Y/N” he murmurs “we should go now, don’t want to be late on our first date.”

Going to Karasuno was fun, at the start everyone was pleasant and nice. But after a week or two when you and Kei were still stuck to eachother like glue, people weren’t so pleasant. Kei was like a pop idol, being gorgeous and over 6ft at just the age of 15, caused alot of attention, especially when he was always around you.

At the start, the hate you got was bearable, it was the petty bitchy notes in your locker or just people blatanly talking badly about you infront of you. People didn’t do it when you weren’t around Kei, so when he had volleyball practice (which you were so excited that he joined the team) you were a big target for the bullies to come around.

Kei didn’t really know of the bullying that happened towards you, especially since he was mainly in practice or not around when it happened. But one day in practice he heard some of his teammates, kageyama and hinata who seemed to talking about a student in one of their classes that was always getting picked on by the other girls in the year.

“Yeah and I heard that Nana-san was planning on getting her and her friends to attack Y/N-san soon.”  said Hinata

“Shrimpy, who are they planning on attacking?” Kei asks to make sure he just heard the ginger correctly.

“Oh this lovely person in our class their name is Y/N-san” he says, looking at Kei’s reaction he also asks “Why? Do you know them?”  

Kei doesn’t respond, and immediately leaves the gym, ignoring Hinata’s and the other members of the teams yells of ‘Where are you going tsukishima.’ He didn’t care, he just had to get to you.  

He searched all the classes, asking every student if he knew where you were. Someone directs him to the toilets, where he burst through the door to see the other girls in your year surrounding you and beating you up.  

“What the fuck are you doing to them?” he yells startling the girls.

“T-T-Tsukishima-san" one girl says “It’s not what it looks like.”

“Oh fuck off” he says, with them still frozen in shock “I said go!”  

“And don’t think I don’t know your names either” he calls after them.

He rushes towards your bruised body on the ground and cradles you gently, confused on what to really do. “Oi Kei,” you say weakly catching his attention “I would’ve won if you didn’t come to stop the fight.” you joke making him scoff.

“Whatever you say Y/N.”

After you heal up, Kei already told on the girls that beat you up getting them suspended, and you explain how they were treating you because of their infatuation of him. And how they only did it when he wasn’t around.

Once he learns this information, he decides to quite the volleyball team, to your surprise. But you demands on making him not quit were ignored, as he excused it by saying “I have to make sure you’re always alright remember, and if that means quitting some volleyball team then so be it.”

That was one out of the many times that Kei put his happiness before yours.

Flashback over.

When you first got diagnosed, Kei was immediately researching on it as it was a very rare condition. But sadly, he only found what the doctor already told you both. It was uncurable and your immune system and your body will weaken as the days go by.

Which it did, you were a shell of your past self. It was always shocking for Kei to see, especially with you only being 25. ‘It wasn’t supposed to be this way,’ but he never let you see his sadness.

Whenever you knew Kei was sad you always reminded him “Kei, I may be dying but please don’t cry over me” every time you said, there was a slight undertone of humour in your voice which always worked in boosting Kei’s spirit.

AN: IVE GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I HATE THIS SOOO IM SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE SHITTING RUSHED ENDING IM GOING TO PROVIDE FOR YOU LOL.

The days passed and the years went by, and you and Kei were still alive and kicking it. Doing your daily routine of you making some joke, Kei giving you your medicine and then you eating dinner. You eventually stopped complaining, realizing and remembering your promise you gave to Kei at 5 years old in that park. “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

Of course you had your rough days, everybody did and it was even harder being sick with a terminal illness. But having Kei to guide you through the storm made It better for you.

However, Kei isnt a miracle worker. He couldn’t save you, noone could. And you both knew that. That didn’t mean it made it any easier when the medicine stopped working and your pain got too hard to bear. Kei couldn’t watch you do this anymore, “the choice is yours” he said with tears in his eyes.  

So you knew what you had to do, you got in your bed pulling Kei with you, and letting him envelope you in a big hug as you both cried.

“I love you,” you say “You know that right?”

“Of course I know that, idiot” he replies “And I love you.”

“Always and forever?”

“Always and forever.”

AN: how did I END UP CRYING WHILST WRITING THIS WHEN IT MADE NO FUCKING SENSE, I WAS TRYING TO DO THIS COOL NOTEBOOK (I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE NOTEBOOK) ENDING WHERE ITS AMBIGIOUS AND SHIT AND I JUST GIVE UP OKAY? I APOLOGISE LOOOOOOL. I HOPE YOU ENJOY ATLEAST A SENTENCE OF THIS AT LEAST.

[twdeadfanfic]

Ive been seeing your sim daryl stories and yesterday i made my own on sims 4 and i created this storyline:

This whole the walking dead thing is over,maybe some distant universe, he moves in to the houses which came with the snowy escape(we can think it as a japanese neighbourhood in real life)

-He lives with Dog

-I made his hair slightly longer, he puts up his hair on a messy pony tail

-He still wears his vest,slightly loose jeans and dusty shoes

-He don't have much friends other than his old Japan neighbours

-He makes a living with the carpentry products he makes at home with woodwork table i bought for him

-I couldnt decide about traits but I gave him the traits: hotheaded, doglover and maker

I pictured him as our lovely Daryl trying to continue his life despite all the stuff he have been through.

I always thought Daryl would have a keen on drawing and painting, he paints on the porch of his house with a knight

He is not a person who would change a lifestyle easily, for example he rarely *tries* to use chopsticks although he doesn't mind going to little stands and eat onigiri noodles etc, he actually likes them.

He usually spends his time at home when he needs money,when the paintings and wooden carved objects he put up for sale are not sold, he goes to temporary odd-jobs like plugging in a TV cable for a lady lol

He is just so cute...

He spends his time away from home wandering the woods or going to the gym, maybe gym sounds weird for Daryl but he still feels this weird feeling inside, like world is still like it was before. He has to be athletic for his age

And also, i want to see those arms big as possible 😏

I am not sure if i should add myself and marry him lol seeing his single daily life with dog makes me so happy, i feel so proud and i see him like he improved his life and got where he wanted to be

But there is one more thing that he deeply desires, to build a happy family.

That's why i chose Family for Aspirations

Maybe he will meet me on a really random day where he felt like going up to the mountain with Dog to see the snowfestival and eat local food

And in the part of the story that I'm in, he can have children and have the happy home of his dreams.

I hope you were able to think of daryl the way I did while reading

someone who loved hot cocoa

This is just so cute!!! This is adorable!! You should share your Sim Daryl with us!

I always meant to have sim Daryl carving stuff but never got to it and I'm so happy you have him a dog. I think the neighborhood of snowy escape is perfect for him, with all the forest routes. I also like Granite Falls since it's in the woods and I hate that you can only go for vacations... Maybe I should make him rich so he can stay on vacation forever.

This is so cute, it made my night so much better, thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️