#what is their story?? i dont know but it's dramatic.
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Iām almost done with it. Iāll be honest.. I only read this book because Cooper Koch loves this book and way how beautiful it is and he may be playing Jude if they actually decide to make a movie about it which I heard is possibly happening. So Iām like hmmm he keeps talking about this book and the cover caught my eye. I did a little research on it and saw a lotā¦ ALOT of people hated it. But I just took that as people on TikTok being dramatic as always.
This book is so traumatic, tragic, painful, sad and had my emotions everywhere. Iāve never cried so much reading a book. Then I decided to see what everyone thought of it on TikTok and just doing research. Iām seeing everyone call it trauma porn and all these other things. Iāll be honest. Would I classify this book as beautiful? No. Do I understand why people describe it that way? Definitely. But itās not beautiful to me. Itās just heartbreaking. Itās a wonderfully written book and the story and how itās told is phenomenal. But itās so tragic that I canāt define it as beautiful. I havenāt been able to stop thinking about it or the characters. Thinking about it makes me cry.
But I donāt hate it? I think the reason why is because there are so many people out there going through what Jude had experienced and what he was experiencing with the aftermath of those things in his adulthood. Now Iām not saying these exact scenarios are happening to people. But these things do happen. The child prostitution, the child sexual abuse, physical abuse. Rape. How people deal with it, I feel sometimes is similar to how Jude was dealing with it. Refusing to see a therapist, the cutting, thinking heās not good enough or doesnāt deserve love because he thinks heās disgusting or that people think he is. Not being able to open up because of the fear of people seeing you differently. His difficulties with sex and his relationships with the people around him. All of that I think is what made me emotional because all I could think about is the people out there who are or who have been through this. Then myself being a victim of sexual abuse.
I think thatās what made it hard for me to hate it. Because once I saw everyone hating it.. Iām like why? This is stuff thatās happening to people. Stuff that people are dealing with and we donāt even know it because some people are afraid to talk about it. But that doesnāt mean I donāt understand why people DO hate it. Itās fucking wild to write as a book. Like who the fuck thinks of shit like this??? I also donāt agree with the authors opinions about how someone as traumatized as Jude should kill themselves and how she doesnāt really believe in therapy. That I think is the most ridiculous thing I heard. Therapy works if you allow it to work and you allow yourself to be open and vulnerable. Suicide doesnāt need to be the answer and a lot of times therapy has saved someoneās life. So the author I donāt really like. Cause girl whatā¦ I also donāt agree with this becoming a movie. No one wants to see this on film, itās hard enough reading about it. I love Cooper Koch and I think heād make a great Jude especially after seeing him as Erik Menendez. But I donāt want a movie about this book. WE DONT NEED THAT.
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griffin kavinsky & aramis avery
so you contemplate where we came from?
lately, we've been making out a lot
not talking 'bout the stuff
that's at the very heart of things
@gaygryffindorgal
#griffin kavinsky#aramis avery#damn i dont think we can get a fun vinsky from this so how bout floramis? š¤#i mean aravinsky is nothing compared to our other vinsky ships#hp ww1 fankids#my aesthetic#what is their story?? i dont know but it's dramatic.#misplaced hufflepuffs
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hijo de la luna
#okay FIRST off. song by mecano my friend said is soooo silver and it is. like. the story steers off his course but its still his song#SECOND. this isnt Actual hollow moon fanart but it is in my heart. ive reread ell's fic 3 times now and every time it kills me. KILLS#go read it. hollow moon by serenescribe. its a 40k oneshot of silver slowly but surely being moon snatched. its delicious#the tumblr crowd already knows how swagalicious ell is tho i dont need to sell it to u. the munchiest crunchiest writing ever. mwah#but yes. i want silver to be made of moondust. i want him to shimmer and glow white as snow i want him a MOON CHILD#also i do Not make OCs bc im not creative but i think his roommate is a vil fan and eats oatmeal and likes sil's birds#by proximity. doesnt care for animals otherwise. he also has a crush on silver he told me himself#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#if catrĆona suntails doesn't draw a dramatically lit background then what's the point#suntails
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Personal headcanon about the "you picked the wrong dellamorte" line, I don't think illario actually likes rook outside the context of them being someone close to lucanis. Like rook on their own isn't much to him, but when they meet it's yet another person talking about his cousin (why isn't he good enough for whatever job they're hiring for?) and on top of that they somehow bring him back from the dead (another whole can of worms for illario). Now he starts turning on the charm, but whether he's actually interested or this is just one more thing his cousin has that he doesn't and it gets under his skin, who knows. Either way, rook ignores illario, the guy who lives off his charm, and is instead interested in the guy who's never even dated before and thinks giving someone a knife is how to flirt. Infuriating
NO THANK YOU !! i am genuinely sorry if i have ever implied illario is into rook like i see some takes about it and unless it like ties into your rook's personal backstory i don't seriously think he's romantically jealous. at all. my enjoyment of that line stems from illario's pathological need to make it about himself and not see his strengths but what lucanis has, and therefore what he doesn't. he's annoyed enough to try and goad you in the middle of a fight about the 'wrong' dellamorte and completely blind to the fact that the venatori are at best, a stupid fucking alliance, and at worst, a cult that will devour the crows from the inside out and illario would have been the one to give them the keys. he sees lucanis make allies, needs his own, and instead of charming the other talons/houses as he should, he (probably spitefully) picks the venatori. or maybe he just thought it would be easier. ugh he makes me want to telekenetically throw him around
#and you raise a very hilarious point too LMFAO#not that he is jealous. just mad as hell its not working <3 I LIKE HIM VERY MUCH AND A NORMAL AMOUNT#to be clear i think his characterisation changed dramatically from wigmaker's job and a lot of his uh#very rash decisions about achieving power feels like they just needed a traitor character for lucanis#to really max out the use of spite. i really wish honestly that there was some canon support for illario#who would probably be a little more liked/popular than lucanis. bc lucanis is respected by the crows#but he's also a very distant 'dellamorte heir' figure. respect is not the same as being liked. so you know#there's the serious assassin with a rep for how good he is at killing#and there's a friendlier assassin with a rep for sweet talking#and neither of those reputations are necessarily true. but i know which one i'd be less afraid of#and i think illario would know that. and be able to use that. BUT WE DONT GET IT. WHATEVER.....#illario dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#answered#also we're introduced to an illario that understands being a crow. and has had all that drilled into him since childhood#why. would he. ally with the venatori.#why would he put himself into a situation that he couldnt control. other than 'the story needs a villain'#what im trying to say. is . there were the makings of a crow civil war here that ends with him tragically dead#if you asked me to expand on this i dont think i could. but like the main issue being the crows not standing together making#the antaam invasion worse (btw regarding this why the fuck were the antaam even invading) so lucanis' quest is#idk. something like uniting the crows together and potentially repairing his relationship w illario#or hardening him and convincing he needs to kill illario#this is me spitballing. dont even mind me#(glances at the 'illario mention' alarm going off in the background)#EDIT: AND ALSO IT JUST CAME TO ME#killing illario as an ending also makes lucanis first talon (oh we're really in the cycles now)#forgiving illario ends with illario becoming 'talon' tho he and lucanis work closely. like a ceo vs cfo#and ends with them repairing their relationship#in the ideal world lucanis would fully leave but im alright with crows making small steps towards becoming a bit healthier
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okay its no secret i dont buy into marazhai being the persona he puts on. so as i've officially met him in game now, im making a list of all the in-game reasons i think he's a bit of an idiot [which i love btw. i find him far more compelling if he's a bit stupid/weird and he's trying so hard not to be but you just know nobody in commorragh is inviting him to parties]
the very first time you get a glance of him on a rooftop and. 'deal with this' "of course" proceeds to just walk off like 3 seconds after the other two
ambushes you. has you cornered. is in optimal position to kick your ass frankly, high ground and better weapons and utilising shock against you. ...he bitches at you for a while, gets insulted, then runs off into the forest with a maniacal cackle
heinrix fired a mild insult [considering what he's like to everyone else its barely an insult] and he took big enough issue with it to start saying how he'll break him and turn him into a pet. oh sure dude you're responding super well to this mild comment from the guy who accidentally insults everyone and their entire ancestral line at some point
i think it says something that he's learned to speak your language fluently too. that Has to be some kind of Yikes moment to admit publicly in drukhari culture. buried family secret great great grandfather drukhari-georg learned to speak mon keigh and now we claim he just spoke oddly because was shot in the head as a child to prevent the shame
he also knows the mon keigh lore that says youre a super special little guy as rogue trader and actually LISTENS to the fact you're the special little guy as rogue trader. and he does treat you as more equal/with more respect than the other characters. thats not just a drukhari culture yikes thats what gets you checked for a concussion or brain damage
literally socially atrocious enough its believed he's working with you [read: with you. not using you, not manipulating, cooperating. this is a big difference i feel] and only he himself doesnt believe it
ignore the fact he eventually DOES work with you which. is its own follow up statement
challenges you to fight him, to give chase then and there. i made him wait while i went through english government simulator where i queued for multiple days, did multiple day/week voidship trips back and forth, got distracted by accidentally starting jae's romance, pasqal telling me to servitorise her, getting blackout drunk with her, shipwide broadcast tm, giving her a voidship, her getting me a space cat, attacked by pirates, dealt with a plague, explored a few extra systems.......................
he destroys your palace. ...its rebuilt effectively within a week. most of the damage is in bodies which are just sent to the poor district to rot [almost feels worse than the damage done good job imperium]
the throne has claw marks. he could've blown it up or shot it or piled corpses on it but no he wanted to sit on the fancy chair and so turned into a common housecat mauling the sofa arm
how long was he just sitting there lounging on that chair? again see how long i kept him waiting. he was just sitting there trying to find a comfy position on this [for him] kinda small chair JUST so he could briefly taunt, break your window with his space motorbike, jump off the chair in a dramatic [but not gunna lie not that impressive] feat of gymnastics, then fly out. he doesnt even shoot at you as he leaves
i will continue my list as i see more that entertain me
#warhammer rogue trader#rogue trader marazhai#marazhai rogue trader#marazhai aezyrraesh#dont listen to how he tries to portray himself hes LAME and i thoroughly enjoy that about him#like. marazhai is a social outcast on so many levels and he is trying SO hard to compensate. it makes him incredibly interesting#ive seen some stuff of him later on but not all that much so im really curious how it'll go/how well i've grasped him#my current thoughts on him? he's just. fundamentally someone who desperately wants to be understood#but in all his long life he's never found it. and commorragh isnt a place for weakness like that. so he acts over it#he pretends to be some great evil mastermind with a lot of flair which is Intentional. because he doesnt know how to act like other drukhar#so concealing that is the best he's got. he doesnt realise the yawning gaps that show it for what it is and bring distain on him anyway#drukhari hate him because he's not like them. he's odd and dramatic and takes things to heart when he shouldnt but dismisses things he shou#he's tolerated for his blood connections and how it killing him could be an invitation for feud. he's also easy to get out of the way#send him to go chat to some mon keigh he'll be so fixated on setting the stage for the meeting he'll miss the important stuff#humans hate him bc he's drukhari. they believe the way he portrays himself because it fits propaganda#hell he may've even learned how to act drukhari from human stories. it'd fit tbh. ....i want to think more on this now#either way he loses. and tbh thats why i do like the idea of him with pasqal. theyre both freaks and social outcasts despite their ranks#robot rambles
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tragic actual play siblingsā¦
#d20#fantasy high#a crown of candy#acoc#taz#taz balance#abernant sisters#rocks sisters#taaco twins#d20 spoilers#mine#dont be weird on this post. please. -_-#looking back at acoc for these screenshots... lets just say theres a pair of codependent twins here and it aint taako and lup#but like more on rubyās side tbh bc jet does have an identity outside of her but ruby kinda doesnt#theres a post abt how jet was the most impactful death possible bc if itd been ruby it wouldve solidified jets arc#but when rubyās the survivor sheās just left lost and unmoored bc jet really was part of her#ruby & saccharina are especially tragic to me bc if jet hadnt died ruby wouldve loved her!! she couldve had a sister!! 2 sisters!!#but jet dying was necessary for her to enter the story at all bc of the nature of the medium... she was always doomed to be an outsider#the āyou are my heartā line is so good so sweet i love it so much#but what lup says immediately afterwardā¦ knowing whats coming in the very next epā¦ one of biggest dramatic irony moments in the show for me#& it will always bother me that taako is green on the taz transcripts HEāS BLUEEE (<- his vibe NOT his skin)
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"it's about redemption."
#there's 2 ways to look at the moment from sunday and it depends on whether you frame it as seth doing this for cody or to roman#with the first one he's found redemption#in 2022 he was maybe looking for penance from roman but in 2024 he knows he doesn't need it anymore!!#an act of selflessness that means he doesn't have to be the guy asking a backstage interviewer#what she thinks about him. because he knows what he can be without having someone decide for him#with the second interpretation. maybe he'll be here forever#searching for redemption#right now i prefer the first but yk. wrestling stories are cycles and seth's is especially#seth rollins#jifs#roman reigns#triple h#its not one of my gifs if i dont slap an ugly dramatic filter on it!!
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Oh now the villagers know..... and arlong burned the town to punish her..... for some reason
#WHY DID THEY PUT THE VILLAGE GOING AFTER ARLONG AFTER NAMI HURTS HERSELF???? HUH???#also the concept of money being important is lost... arlong wants money too thats why he does certain things... and it contrasts#with namis want for money which is for survival.... but alas...#i wont let you do that š„ŗš„ŗ AHDKAHSKSJKQ#nami doesnt decide what people do thats why she was stabbing herself... and why she controls herself... literally let herself be taken....#also nami just being there to do fuck all cause she isn't fighting..... and that is alright do they know that.....#johnny and josuke....... miss you.... also luffy not wanting a cook on his crew ever since they ran out of food akdjsksj#why did they focus on the fishman racism is what i dont understand. whats the point. this story is not about that.... we get that later lmao#'everyone should be free to live as they choose' SHUT UUUUUUUP!!!!#like he didnt get nami as a slave bc shes a human.... and hes not playing by human rules he found a loophole in their pact ajdhaksjs#and the could you use her so effectively doesnt hit without luffy saying he doesnt know how to do anything and all that....#luffy should be saying like 50% of what he says.... he says fuck all all the time#and why does sanji care about luffy literally what did he do for him....#usopp gets fuck all.... he literally cries and throws up on this fight... why did they skip thag#'zeff was mean to you... boohoo' TELL HIM ZORO!!!!#sanji fueled by love for nami yeah.... but he looks so ridiculous fighting with that suit ajdhakshsjs#also such a shame he hasnt been crushed dramatically.... how would usopp now if he is alright or not#no sun shining behind luffy as he comes out of the rubble like he is the second comong of jesus christ.... 0 stars#the fact that it took them nothing to beat them is kinda shit. like zoro gets wrecked and sanji nearly drowns... luffy gets also wrecked...#and no usopp songs back to back til sunrise.... tragic#usopp getting rewarded for what... he wasnt even scared#YEAH GARP PUNCH HIM!!!! COME ON!!! WHO DARES DISOBEY YOU???!!!#'i dont want to fight you grandpa' BOOOOOO TOMATO TOMATOOOOO#'you're on your own now....' HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THATS THE POINT!! AND YOU DIDNT FUCKING HELP WITH THAT!!!! we are just saying things now....#'i know what it means to fight for your family' whejdja??? whats that supposed to mean??? did bellemere not fight?? she literally did???#*melania trump hello???* whats this about... namis story is not about fighting for your family her mother literally dies for that ajdhajab#and why did they put a tattoo on top of the other in the manga she gets a scar from removing the arlong one and then gets the other one.....#luffy hugging koby.... he didnt hug nami then for what???#do you guys think they will cast someone really ugly as dragon...#watching opla
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I can't stop thinking of Kyanako's Order of Attack au... there's something so moving to me about how things getting so much worse could be what finally causes Amane to get better -- seeing Fuuta dying may be the final straw of getting her to rethink her rejection of medicine. Been a while since I've attempted something whump-y, this was fun to work with.
Tw for mentions/contemplation of death. I don't go into detail about the cult but the doctrines are implied through it all.
Fuuta was not a big fan of dying.
When he imagined his own death, he always pictured it as something dramatic and fast. Action heroes going out in a show of explosions and gunfire. Fantasy characters meeting the shining end of a blade. Even when he accepted his place in Milgram, it filled his mind with images of gallows and electric chairs.Ā
Whatever this slow, lengthy fever was, it was pissing him off.Ā
Heād lost all sense of time. He could no longer tell which hour the prison bells were marking -- morning and night blended together. Dreaming and waking blended together. His head injury and broken leg and broken bones blended together. It was all just pain at the end of the day. He had nonstop visitors that kept him awake and asked him too many questions and prodded his injuries and made his head spin. Somehow, he was simultaneously alone every time he rolled over to talk to someone. Painfully, suffocatingly alone.Ā
If Kotoko was going to kill him with those ridiculous emo boots of hers, she should have just done it. He was losing his mind here: devoid of all energy, suffering through broken bones and a cracked head, and boiling in an increasingly fiery fever. Maybe that was the reason he stopped commenting when he watched Amane pocket the medicine Shidou had left him. Maybe that was why heād stopped following Shidouās instructions himself. Even after losing an eye and taking a beating herself, Amane always looked at peace. He was tired of dealing with all of this. He wanted a bit of that peace.
Regardless of why, it was working. His fever had quickly gone from the biggest pain in his ass to the very thing that dulled his racing thoughts.Ā
He awoke suddenly, or maybe heād already been awake. He couldnāt feel anything in his limbs. There was only a breathless heat around him. He raised himself into a sitting position, looking for a drink. Moving his head felt like one of those glitching computer windows that leaves a trail of copies behind it. The room swam around him. His eyes moved absently around him.
Fuuta picked up the glass that someone had left him. His fingers were clumsy, and it immediately went crashing to the ground. He hardly heard the noise as it broke apart on the concrete below.Ā
He swung his legs over the side of the bed. Heād just go get a drink himself. Shidou told him not to get up without help. But what did he know? Thinking of the man ordering him around only drove Fuuta to step out of bed even quicker. He cried out, pain shooting through his leg. That was right, it was brokenā¦Ā
Fuuta looked down, finding himself on the ground. It was so hot. Maybe this is what she felt, he thought numbly. Was it this slow for her too? Probably not. She had no regrets to fill the time like he did. The heroes got quick, beautiful deaths, and it was the villains who had to suffer the long ones.Ā
He lifted his right palm from where it had caught his fall. The shattered glass on the floor had cut into it. Shattered glass? What had broken? He stared blankly at the blood dripping down.Ā
He didnāt have the strength to raise himself up. He was burning. Why was he on the ground? Was he bleeding? He could barely breathe. What was he doing here, anyway? He just wanted to curl up and sleep. He was so weak... just to lie down... he wouldn't have the strength to get back up again. Was that such a bad thing...?
A voice caught his attention. His eyes struggled to focus on the figure whoād come running into the cell. He couldnāt understand a word of what she was saying, but he was happy when she pressed her cool little hands against his forehead.Ā
He allowed her to prop him up next to the bed. She held onto his hand, squeezing it tight. Why was she holding it like that? That hand was bleeding. When did that happen?
Her arms wrapped tightly around him. He wanted to shove her away -- it was too hot -- but couldnāt. In his ear, he could make out her words. āIām sorry. Iām so sorry. Please, Fuuta. Donāt leave me alone. Iām so sorry...ā
As she pulled back, he recognized Amane. Her uninjured eye was filled with tears. Was she upset? He thought heād been making her happy. He wanted to keep making her happy. Heād never made anyone happy before.Ā
He opened his mouth to say something, but no words would come out. They all scrambled up in his mouth. He felt the cell swirling around him.
Amane raised her voice. She looked desperately upwards. āThis canāt be --! This isnāt right!āĀ
Fuuta looked up at the ceiling. There was nothing there.Ā
āI canāt do this anymore.ā
She continued talking. Fuuta was too busy studying the ceiling. She was shouting. Or maybe crying. Fuuta didnāt like that she was so upset. Huh, had there been someone there? He surveyed the empty cell. What was he doing on the ground?
He looked down at his hand. The sheet from his bed had been pulled down and wrapped hastily around it. Why? His eyes felt sticky as he blinked. Everything hurt. It was so hot. What was going on? He was so angry. He was so scared. He wanted to cry. Why was he here? Why couldnāt he just hurry up and die already?
The next time she entered, Fuuta recognized Amane instantly. Her one hand pointed to him, the other held onto someone else. The second figure hurried over to him.Ā
Fuuta was not a big fan of dying. Shidou reassured him he wouldnāt.
ā
āYouāre wearing the eyepatch,ā Fuuta observed.Ā
He was playing a dangerous game, drawing attention to it like that. He was too exhausted, and his curiosity won out over his better judgment. If Amane was going to explode with one of her typical speeches, heād just let her.
She didnāt.Ā
Amaneās hand drifted up to her eye. It had been hastily covered before, but now it was cleaned and wrapped in professional-grade materials. She simply said,Ā āKajiyama Fuuta. How do you feel?ā
āLike shit.ā
āBut--ā
ā-- But Iām better, yeah.ā
Amane nodded, her shoulders releasing.Ā
āOi, I havenāt seen you in a while. Not sinceā¦ā He wasnāt sure how to finish the sentence. Shidou had told him what happened, but it was difficult to believe. He couldnāt quite trust his own memory of the night. No matter how much clearer his mind felt since receiving proper treatment, those days of fever still muddled together. He heard that Amane had up and switched her beliefs overnight -- she was now complacent about all of Shidou's treatments -- but Fuuta knew people didn't just change like that. He wanted to hear it for himself.
She lowered her gaze in shame. āIā¦ I thought you hated me.ā Her voice was steady. āAs you should. I almost killed you. I accept any ill will you may feel.ā
āI -- what? Youāre wrong. Youā¦ it wasnātā¦ā He grabbed his head, grunting in frustration.
After standing awkwardly in the entryway the whole time, Amane took a few steps inside. She made it to his bedside when he finally collected his thoughts.Ā
āIt was your fucked up family or whatever that caused everything. They did this. And I went along and made things worse.āĀ He looked away. His next words felt stupid to say to a little kid. He felt like the most pathetic, weak, loser. But it was too important not to say.
āThey almost killed me. You saved me.ā
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#amane momose#i am emotional about them!!!#my other drabble between them hinted that fuuta would convince her away from her dangerous beliefs before things got too bad#but i wanted to see what would happen if things Did get bad ya know#we were talking about what could convince amane to think twice about the medicine ban (if anything)#and i think seeing her closest friend is literally on deaths door finally gets through to her#shes sees him weak and bloody and completely out of it and knows this is Wrong#i dont know how long it takes fuuta to realize that it really was all for him that she changed but he does accept it eventually#it helps both of them grow#he feels worth saving (and therefore worth turning his life around) and she is freer from her cult#not completely#but one step at a time#tried to make fuutas narration simpler and shorter to reflect his thoughts but idk if that worked#i thought they were going to do a lot of stuff with mahirus head injury and memory but they never did- i played around with that a bit here#i thought about writing out amanes monologue to her god about how shes not doing this anymore but 1. its more dramatic to leave that to#the imagination and 2. idk if its silly but some things are so personal for a character and i dont wanna intrude... like yeah its my#story but thats between her and god fr#drabbles#tw cults#tw child abuse
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how did my professor recommend me The Color of Outer Space
and I found the whole ass wrong book
its about a farm??? I was reading space travel what did I do
#makes more sense why prof was like yah know i hate the author but damn its a good spook#oh hp lovecraft#ill piss on your grave but also#i can like#relate to being terrified of the world but he handled it in the worst god damn way possible#the evil is not only in what you dont understand its in you to!! much better sorce of stories#my goal in life is to honestly do his shit better#which is setting myself up for failure#but like#cosmic horror is in us#its the fact we can do terrible things but other people Do Terrible tihngs and trying to understand Why is a worse abyss than any darkness#because no matter Why they are doing something Now#understanding can Possibly help the future pervent things#or just cause another horror#this is not well thought thoughts but a man annoyed his hands hurt and he cant draw#aaaa#also if you read this far#any movie recs?? i want spook but not home intrusion unless its like- cartoony?? does that make sense?? or like Really Dramatic not possibl#not like Hush#is that the name?? she can't talk... or she can't hear??fuck i watched it awhile ago#i liked it alot but i also am jumpy enough so dont need help with That rn#i havent seen most#maybe i should just watch carrie
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thinkin about edd today
#apparently im one of those fans that loves to torture edd#but it aint my fault his parents dont love him#i imagine eddy's mom knows hes alone a lot and invites him to join them for thanksgiving but he's like#āi have no idea what youre talking about mrs. mcgee my parents who definitely love me are home right now yes indeedyā#then he goes home to heat up his little free range turkey and whole wheat stuffing and eats alone at a big empty table#if he's feeling dangerous he might eat on the couch and watch PBS#after dinner he calls eddy who regales him with stories about fucked up relatives#and he almost considers himself lucky for not having a close-knit family#i kinda picture edd moving to pc from out of state so his extended family doesn't live close#of course his parents might get the occasional holiday off so im sure he's not alone every year but#idk i've embarrassed myself before by sharing my thoughts about edd's parents and i'm sure it won't be the last#i'd like to write a long overly dramatic fic about a day in his life that takes place in the timeline of the show#but im knee deep in angst as it is#text
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an uncle nina check in <3
hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333
i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<
i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!
and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.
however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...
makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333
so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,
uncle nina xx
#nina speaks#hi my loves#idk what the point of this was#i just know my blog is really inconsistent and i know i dont really post anything or anything that useful#but i wanted you to know that i love you very much and i still care a lot about all of you and all my content actually#which i have been fleshing out in notebooks and google docs i've been doing lots of world building and character study#so feel free to ask me something challenging about any part of my nina sp auniverse that interests u itll make my brain work#i've also been taking very silly but dilligent notes abt what ravesey style looks like for ter so if u want to laff at those u can#i just love taking notes on detail and understanding exactly what characters look like or what settings appear like idk#might be some experimental writing on here i like doing different mediums like i was being silly#and started writing a netflix trailer for rm haha i also have been doing weird personality tests and questionnaires#i've been trying to think very deeply about tkak and my tfbw styles if u have any questions there and am deep plotting rm#trying to be impactful while also keeping things fun and learning to enjoy myself again i suppose#so again thakn u for being here sorry its weird on here but thank u for supporting me as i learn and grow my sunshines#also ik i have a ton of asks and uve already asked me so many things so never feel inclined to message me#but i love hearing what ur curious about hopefully i can answer some stuff eventually but again im on a break#i'm here but i'm not this is a safe place we try and fail we have fun and promote style world domination thru my weird styles#ilysm i'm shutting up now i promise i'm still here i'm just trying to be healthy and happy esp rn when i am not emotionally well#gotta protect my peace and my vibe palace but im still here!#MWAH MWAH MWAAAAAH#really trying to heal my inner child or like the girl in me that liked to write silly stories and create crazy things#weird hcs big dramatic plots silly stuff...i want to honor that girl because she was happy and free and had fun#and i want to do that again so lets have fun guys#no judgement no seriousness just good vibes and good reads#welcome to the uncle nina learns to laugh again arc#i hope you enjoy it
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ten needs to be trapped in a torture chamber forever for what he does to martha. I hope jakey the time lord fucking dies
#heyy girl lets kiss also share a bed in this inn What do you mean it's weird it's not weird winky face but ew i would never LOVE you#what do you mean how could you even think that i must respect the memory of blond 19 year old who was better than you in every way btw#i defintiely find it more INTERESTING than rose's seasons bc i think theres more dramatic tension than just. We're in love! like ok whateve#doesnt mean that tension is always fun to watch and obviously there are Problems with it#but theres something compelling about the awfulness of it just laid bare#like if you thought rose was Grounded & Realistic. here's the actual stuff. martha's family's not even messy in a particularly charming way#as in they dont turn out to become beloved and heroic recurring side characters like jackie/pete/mickey#everythings on tenterhooks if you're not his Object you're constantly having to reassert yourself and recontextualize the relationship#like oh actually this is scary and feels bad and sometimes there just isnt a heartwarming conclusion where Love saves all#she's fighting for her place in the story but it's not even worth itttt#it's kinda cool.... there are som eideas here.....#ten is so frustrating because he's such a human man about it you KNOW he knows what he's DOINGGGG#doc who
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If we could let russians be villains we could have a movie of current events with villains just as bad as nazis. Just as horrible and shocking but it would be all true.
We will only know the full extent of atrocities after the war (and not fully even then... many details lost... memories cut down by bullets... ) and someday there will be enough for just as many movies of russian villains as nazis. The stories should be told. Then and now. Victims deserve their voices to be heard and the war criminals deserve to be despised.
Someday, this is a horror that will be in the past sad we will be watching it as something that was, not is. But hopefully we will realize fully the evil of it NOW, rather than something to watch from a comfortable vantage point of years removed from it. The people need help now-- not just sympathetic tears of how horrible it was back then. We can help them now-- it doesn't have to be "we should have" or "they should have" (2nd more likely... that's even more comfortable). It shouldn't take us watching a movie of atrocities to realize there are atrocities going on. It's the flesh and blood people that matter, not light pixels on a screen.
#vantage point of history#movies#ukraine#russia#war crimes#nazis#im watching a movie w nazis#i see it thru lens of this war#i can't get away from it#sometimes i wonder somethings wrong w me#i dont have to be there#i mean emotionally#but others SHOULD care more#enough to know#thats why i think there should be a movie#ppl at least pay attention#idk if its appropriate but#if stories told of ppl there..#dramatization of sth close#true#also entertaining/engaging#wake up!!#- it is not all the same of course but many similarities#and things particular to russia#occupied territories#what might be happening#secret prisons#... how we did know were concentration camps ...
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"this world will live on...!" girl no it wont im sorry
#posts in a drainage system#still. undyne's death monologue in genocide is really cool tbh#because really. we dont know how many monsters alphys managed to evacuate. we dont know how big the underground really is#there are ABSOLUTELY parts of it that you never explore in game and thats so wild to me. like.#even though alphys isn't fighting you directly she's probably one of the most important people in the narrative during the genocide run#and yet . none of it really matters in the end. does it#because by the end of genocide you have to make the decision to kill them all in the blink of an eyeāas youve been doing the entire gameā#or try to convince yourself in one last desperate act that you werent guilty for any of this by letting chara erase the world instead.#the final choice of the genocide run honestly makes me so wacky. like man . i could go ON about that shit#anyways this was about undynes speech. but yeah its a perfect example of dramatic irony for people familiar with the story#and if you aren't. youve probably become dissociated from your feelings about these characters if youve gotten this far into the geno run#BUT this speech is still so powerful. like maybe the monsters WILL find away to live on after this. even after their families and way of#life have been completely destroyed. even though that's the complete OPPOSITE of what youre trying to achieve during genocide#agh . such a good game
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Thinking about that time when I was pressured into giving my testimony by not only my peers but also one of the religious leaders at my church even though I kept stating I didn't want to and was uncomfortable.
And then when I finally did, the testimony I told was about how I'd learned that not all Christians were good people and about how people had used god, Christianity, and their authority to hurt me and people I loved and how I was having to seperate the way they acted from the beliefs I held and then everyone looked at me like this:
#im not even a Christian anymore and im STILL having to work on this#i want to make sure im being the appropriate amount of a dickhead to people#christian that thinks abusing and harrassing people is okay? hello im hear to be a dickhead to you#but Christian who is simply respectfully and peacefully practicing their religion? i really should not be a dickhead to that person#basically deconstructing and trying ti heal from my trauma so thaf i dont continue the cycle or hive birth to a new one#id like the abuse to end with me#i thought this instance was hilarious though#also for anyone who doesnt know what a testimony is:#im not sure the exact definition but basically you talk about how you found god or something#usually the more grueling and horrible your life was before you converted and the better it was after the more encouraged youd be by others#a very common example was people who had struggled with addiction or alcoholism and then recovering because of their new faith#but i was very uncomfortable because everyone else in the group i was in was born and raised Christian and i knew this#we were also between the ages of like 12 and 16 so not exactly rife with devastating additions or tales of loss and grief#i think the most convincing one and the one that was the least dramatized or confusing was just this one kid#this one kid who talked a out how being born prematurely had affected his life and i think his parents also got divorced#or he had an absent dad or something#anyway moral of the story: dont pressure people to tell you things. its disrespectful and you may find you dont like the story you get
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