#what is a family funeral plan

[autisticrosewilson]

Childhood friend au Jayrose where Rose hates having her hair touched because her mom used to do her hair vs Jason who misses having someone's hair to braid because he used to do it for Cathy when she got too sick. And the first time after her mom's death that Rose lets someone fix her hair is Jason helping her braid it before Lillians funeral.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Adorned by stars | Changing States

When he hits the I-70, Jeremiah slots George Michael’s Faith into his ’98 Accord and drives with the windows down. His mother would chide him for two reasons: a) he’s wasting fuel and b) it’s begun to storm. But he likes the way the wind shears through his hair like a nail breaking drywall and he likes the way spats of rain settle on his skin like constellations because on the road, he isn’t just a hand for someone else to hold, a body to handle, a man who looks at another man and fears how much of himself he’s lost in his reflection. No. On the road he is the sky, adorned by stars of his own making, relentless in his abundance, blinking in the absence of any other light.

A little Changing States aesthetic & excerpt!

i'm so normal about him i'm so normal i'm so normal i'm so-

[randomactsofpigeon]

Sitting here thinking about how my grandfather died six weeks ago, and my brother and his wife have yet to tell their five-year-old her great-grandfather is dead...

[arsenicflame]

thinking about how all the rest of blackbeards crew had left by the time stede found the revenge

thinking about how ed was laid out in such a respectful way, like he was someone wanted to mourn

thinking about even after all he said, after mutinying on him, izzy could never really leave ed

thinking about how after all he did for them, all he lost, our crew couldn't leave him either

[g0tmilkx3]

Mikey’s funeral episode in szn 3 is going to be detrimental the fall out is going to be insane

[lucielovekj]

Went to my aunt’s house for the first time since she died. She’d written letters for many people and my mum picked up hers, and I saw her husband and my cousin & his husband too - it was their anniversary, and he showed me their wedding photo book which I hadn’t seen which was really nice to look through, it was such a lovely day.

It was…so strange being there without her. She’s lived in that house my whole life, I remember visiting them there when I was so young, it’s surreal that she just…isn’t there anymore.

They’re gathering photos for the funeral, there’s going to be a whole montage to a song, my mums going to speak - I’m going to be a wreck, I just know it.

[pierregaslays]

has someone in your family really died if there isn’t a massive row going on between family members 🤪

[scattered-winter]

i am so tired. so goddamn infinitely tired.

[naomiknight-17]

Mom's coworker's funeral is this Saturday

There's no funeral for my uncle, but we're invited to his internment. Which is the day after my birthday. Fml

[orcelito]

Had a moment of "Why do I feel so melancholy haha" and then I remembered that my uncle literally died yesterday

I've been compartmentalizing like crazy I guess

[jasonsthunderthighs]

I was on the phone with Tobin, talkin' bout how my great uncle died and how at his (Tobin’s) funeral, BEFORE, he's goin to tell EVERYBODY that I'm GOIN to say “Well, there goes a real sack of crap!” AT the funeral and to NOT get mad when I do say that

His words, “Mel’s threatened to say ‘there goes a real sack of crap!’ at the funeral, so DON'T get mad when they do!”

Followed by, “Can you IMAGINE how mad everybody would get after you said that?”

He's 53 and STILL ‘members the time I told him when he was in his 30s that I WAS GOIN TO SAY THAT WHEN HE DIES AT HIS FUNERAL

Like holy shit, this is one of the moments you KNOW that we're related

[lytefoot]

I love this concept, and would love for this play to exist. But also, I have to link to this here:

Ask a Mortician - Protecting Trans Bodies in Death

There are absolutely legal ways that you can ensure that, when you die, your loved ones are the ones that bury you.

The video above is specifically directed toward trans people, but crucially, they also apply to anyone else who is estranged from their birth family and/or legal next of kin. The resources linked from the video are mostly for the US (direct link to a breakdown of relevant funeral laws by US state here), with a note for those in the UK. For those in other countries, look into your options even if your country is not especially progressive on queer rights--funeral planning rights benefit cis straight people, too.

I binged a lot of Ask a Mortician at the start of the pandemic, and it left me so much less afraid of death. (She also has a wonderful video about funeral options for fat people that is just beautifully straight forward.) Please, if you worry about who will control your body when you die, and how you’ll be buried and remembered, find out what tools the law gives you and use them. (Note that, at least in the US, you will probably not need to hire a lawyer if you are able to fill out moderately complex forms alone or with the help of your loved ones.)

Idea for a play: A custody battle of a corpse. A man - estranged from his birth family and deeply loved by found family - has unfortunately died. His parents that threw him out to the street, siblings who encouraged it, and extended family who never sided with him and simply allowed it to happen, now want to bury him in a family grave, under a name he didn't use anymore, with the ceremonies of a religion he never truly followed. The people who actually knew and loved him are trying everything in their power to stop this.

The deceased, himself, is there, watching this with popcorn. It's clear that no-one but the audience can see him. He can pause the action whenever he wants to monologue, and often stops the show to tell the audience the backstory of a claim, or what really happened when someone is blatantly lying. And one time, just to call his grandmother a bitch.

He is mainly indifferent to the show, simply entertained, no longer personally touched by anything that happens in the mortal world, but once, with tears in his eyes, takes a time to monologue about how deeply he loved his wife - whom he could not legally marry, but called wife nonetheless. Once, when his own cousin questions her presence here, as she was "nothing to the deceased", the protagonist throws the rest of his popcorn in the air, as - being incorporeal - he can't throw it at his cousin.

(most of it lands into the audience. better not be wearing anything expensive in there, and if the friend who brought you to see this play didn't warn you about this part, that's kind of a dick move from them.)

In the end it turns out there is some legal way, some previously forgotten document, new evidence, that allows the dead man to be buried by loved ones, and not his legal family. Despite of the fact that he has spent the whole play insisting that the events of the mortal world no longer concern him at all, and that he doesn't care what the outcome of this will be, his spirit dissipates from sheer relief.

It's deliberately left ambiguous where souls go when they're gone.

[lucaniisdellamorte]

pacing my cage thinking about Lucanis' questline tbh

whoops spoilers in the tags

[humanityinahandbag]

I'd like to tell you all a story about my grandmother.

My grandparents raised their children, four girls (one of them my mother), to be fighters. My aunts marched in Washington for women's rights with babies strapped to their chests and like to joke that all of the grandchildren who came from that line (including myself) were born with picket signs in their hands.

But it started with my grandparents. They fought hard for what they believed in. They marched against Vietnam. They marched for Martin Luther King. They marched for women's rights. They marched for a better future.

But let's talk specifically about my grandmother for a moment.

My grandmother unfortunately passed away in 2016. She had to watch the first Trump election and did so knowing that it would probably be the last election she'd ever see. And there is some argument there that she could have given in to fear and defeatism. She could have decided none of it was worth it, and she could have decided that fascism had won and the world was over.

But she did something else instead.

To give some context, my grandparents had friends who were Republicans. I say were, because they shifted from the normal Republican towards the MAGA Republican we see today. And despite a very clear message from my family about how we felt, they were more than ready to still come to the funeral as if everything was normal. Like their beliefs were normal. Like they were welcome to celebrate someone who had fought so hard for the rights of other people.

These were people who would have absolutely used their rhetoric to scream and shout if they were left out or disinvited.

And so my grandmother, even past her final moments, pulled the most brilliant, petty move I've ever seen.

She'd decided ahead of time that everyone who had known her was more than welcome to attend but that she wanted everyone attending the funeral to donate money. That was the requirement to be invited. And so everyone did just that. There was no talk about what the donations were for, just that they were appreciated. I want to say that the assumption was the money would help pay for funeral expenses and give the family some support while we grieved.

Except that wasn't the case.

Because in those final moments of the funeral, the rabbi stepped forward to thank everyone, and then very cheerfully announced;

"Arlene was so happy to know just how many people were coming to join us here today. She couldn't have been more proud of her family. And I'm sure she would have been elated to see just how much money you all gave today to Planned Parenthood."

When I say that the faces of those people are enshrined in my memory, I mean it. The anger, the devastation, the rage, the betrayal. It was an absolutely gorgeous display of true defeat at the hands of a boss ass old lady who literally fought with her last breath and threw up both middle fingers all the way out the door.

What I'm saying is this.

It is very easy to feel defeated. It is very easy to think that everything is over, and there's nothing left for us to do. It's very easy to say that fascism won, that fear won, that hate won.

But that's only true if you let it be true.

There is always more that we can do. There is a future that is still worth fighting for. And it's more than possible, even when it doesn't seem like it.

And fighting is going to look different every time.

Some days it will look like picket signs in our hands.

Some days it will look like spending time with friends and family and people you love and knowing that you have a community that supports you and your vision of a brighter future.

And some days, it's pulling absolute natural level 20 petty trickster shit even after you've left the world.

Because you can always make an impact and you can always add a little brightness to life, and if that means tricking a group of MAGA idiots into throwing their money behind Planned Parenthood in the middle of your own goddamn funeral then that's what it means.

Keep fighting. People have done it before you. People will continue to do it after you.

And enjoy the little victories.

(Even the petty ones)

[torgawl]

someone was cutting onions during the lantern rite cutscene

[eggmeralda]

anticipatory grief for someone who is perfectly healthy and is showing no signs of being anywhere near death