#sorry for the long ramble
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I often see messages about how “one day you’ll be thankful you didn’t give up”.
And I remember reading these messages years ago and dismissing them. I’d even feel bitter at them. I’d feel annoyed even. I thought there was never a chance they would be true for me.
I was wrong. I constantly feel so glad I stuck around.
This morning, I laid next to my husband and felt safe in his arms. And I thought about how glad I was to be here with him. I’d have never met him if I hadn’t tried to recover.
While writing this post, my dog stretched in the bed before circling and plopping herself back down. Her head pushed into my side, snoring so quickly. And I was so thankful to be around to hear her little snores and feel her next to me. I’d have never had her if I hadn’t done the work to heal.
Yesterday, my best friend and I made plans to see each other. She told me she loved me. It made me feel warm inside and so thankful I was around to see her get married and have her at my wedding.
I enjoy the little things now. I enjoy the way my husband always gives me a forehead kiss before he leaves. I enjoy the way my dog comes running when she hears me go lay on the bed because she wants to be with me. I enjoy the tea I have every day, being able to be outside in the sun. I enjoy excitedly waiting for music from my favourite artists to drop.
All these things I’d never enjoy if I gave up.
I am thankful I stuck around. I am thankful I didn’t give up.
And I hope that if you aren’t, that one day you are too.
#I should also note that#I’m in a major depressive episode right now#and I can still find the little joys#and that’s amazing to me tbh#my post#personal#sorry for the long ramble
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Rewatching Batman and Batman Returns back-to-back and it's just reminding me why I like Selina as a love interest better than Vicki.
I mean, anyone who follows me already knows I'm a batcat fan, and I don't find Vicki that compelling outside of the TellTale Games version of her. But even beyond my own preferences, Selina is just a better match for Bruce in the Burtonverse overall.
The problem with Vicki is that she's so distant from Bruce's world. Just as Bruce explains in Batman Returns, she couldn't reconcile the two parts of him; Bruce Wayne and Batman. She had "difficulty with his duality," to paraphrase Selina. Part of it is Bruce's unwillingness to open up to another person, but I never got the vibe that Vicki liked Bruce being Batman. When she discovers his identity, she says to him, "I've loved you since I met you, but I don't know what to think of all this." It seemed like she wanted him to just be a normal guy, which of course, he can't be. Even at the end of the movie, she seems to accept Bruce as Batman begrudgingly, as something to tolerate rather than understand.
(At the end of the movie, Alfred tells her that Bruce will be "a little bit late" and she responds with "I'm not a bit surprised." It's meant to be a cute jab, but to me it just seems like she's passively accepted that Bruce's alter ego will always take precedent over her, and that's not very romantic to me)
On top of that, their date scenes are kind of bland, they don't really get to know each other that well, and they don't seem to have much in common. Overall, Vicki is written like a stock love interest, a damsel in distress to scream until Batman saves her. There's not much glue keeping them together.
But Selina on the other hand? She knows what it's like to have a darker alter ago. She knows what it's like to be traumatized and hurt by the criminals of Gotham (Max Shrek and Penguin). She knows what it's like to be a freak. Bruce himself says so in their movie: they're the same, "split down the center." When she finds out Bruce is Batman, she's upset not because she can't reconcile the two halves of him (like Vicki) but because it puts them on opposite sides of the law ("Does this mean we have to start fighting?"). They are perfectly matched but kept apart by outside forces and conflicting priorities, rather than other than lack of communication and compatibility.
On top of that, Bruce and Selina have way more chemistry (bolstered by Keaton and Pfeiffer's performances). On their date, they talk deeply to each other, about their pasts and their desires. They seem to innately connect in a way I never felt with Vicki, who seems to beg Bruce to be normal while he seems borderline bored with her half the time. With Vicki, it's like he's acting out a script. With Selina, it's an organic spark.
Of course, Selina does end up leaving at the end of their story, because she's been pinned down by men for too long and needs to go off on her own. Unlike Vicki, she's not built for the normal "fairy tale castle" life. And because he loves her, Bruce follows the old truth that if you love someone, set them free.
But despite this ending, I buy the tragic love story of Bruce and Selina more than the straightforward Hollywood ending of Bruce and Vicki. The former felt like soulmates torn apart by circumstances, the latter felt like two people who were never going to work in the first place because they weren't compatible.
If you ask me, Vicki was just a stepping stone for Bruce on his way to Selina. She taught him a lesson: He needs someone who will understand him fully and join him in the night, not simply wait for him to return and act "normal" again.
The big difference is this: When the bat signal hits the sky, Vicki is going to stand back and worry.
But Selina Kyle? She's going to grab her whip and join Batman on the battle field by his side.
And at the end of the day, I'd much rather see a badass power couple working together as a team rather than a worried wife sitting at home while her husband goes off and saves the day.
#shut up elizabeth#sorry for the long ramble#im having Thoughts™#and then there was Dr. Chase and Julie#Dr. Chase was fun but not as much depth as Selina#and Julie was so forgettable and boring#I had to google her name because I thought it was Juliana for a sec#anyway batcat supremacy and all that#batcat#batman returns#batman 1989#bruce wayne#selina kyle#vicki vale#tim burton#burtonverse#michael keaton#michelle pfeiffer#kim basinger#dc#dc comics#thank you for coming to my ted talk#fandom meta#batman meta
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the fact that this fandom has just kinda fizzled out into something thats no longer that fun for me sucks, like pretty bad. this is the fandom that helped me out during the worst year of my life lowkey, like i had nothing left before joining this fandom and maybe thats sad af to admit but i was happy writing for it, and now its just always in the back of my mind that im either gonna get hate messages whenever i write a ship that isnt super popular or i just say anything about a character people supposedly hate (even though its all they seem to talk about on their blog) that i'll get backlash,,,it doesnt make it enjoyable. i really hope other people dont feel the same as me because i dont want people i love reading from feeling crappy either, its just been on my mind for a while now. especially getting back into anime and seeing how fun the bakudeku fandom is its just kinda sad that wolfstar, jegulus and the marauders as a whole doesnt hit the same, at least rn. maybe something will change idk
#sorry for the long ramble#had to get that out of my system lmao#the marauders#regulus black#remus lupin#sirius black#james potter#wolfstar#jegulus#alex rambles
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How does Pandemonium get along with his other siblings? Being so particular, I wonder if he ever clashes with them. PS: Does Pandemonium get along with the other children of the Mane 6 or is it similar to his father's with the other Mane 6 (which borders on getting along and not being able to stand him).
Pandemonium is a villain (sort of) plain and simple! The other's feelings on it ranges from "we're friends!" to "they're sort of annoying." nobody downright HATES them.
In fact my pinkiedash kid (who I haven't drawn yet but I've thought up lore for them) would probably consider Pandemonium like a best friend, they're similar in personality. (Both a little mischievous and pranksters.)
Nobody really takes it being "evil" seriously, its a lot of empty pestering and scheming from Pan. Usually nobody really caring until something actually bad happens. Pan has the idea that he has to take on the "evil chaos being" legacy from Discord... Discord thinks his child is just playing around, and doesn't really do punishment.
(Think of it like like Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Pandemonium just wants to be someone, but is still a good pony-draconiquis thing deep down.)
#SORRY FOR THE long ramble#Its really late I just had to get this all out#Mlp#Mlp ship kids#Fluttercord#Pandemonium#My little pony
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I ship sebaciel but I only like their dynamic, in my head I imagine an adult Ciel and I only read fanfics when Ciel is way over 18 and can decide by himself/not be manipulated. I was raped when I was 15, I could never ship something like that. But anti pro shippers never bother to see the nuance. I'm afraid if I start publicly shipping it, people will call me a pedo lol Also I think that the ones who like the age gap still can't be compared to real pedos who consume lolicon/ realistic drawings who REALLY resemble children and explicitly are in a setting of a child being molested. I see incels doing that, and the kuro fandom is mostly women.
Hi, anon. Sorry I didn’t reply yesterday. I had COVID a couple weeks ago and now have bronchitis and i just ran out of gas to formulate a response I felt this ask merited.
First of all, I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope you’ve been able to get past it enough that it doesn’t affect your daily life too badly 🫂.
Sadly, a lot of antis act as if they’re the only ones who have been victims of (sexual) abuse, and that any survivor who doesn’t behave the way they do either must be lying or “deserved” what they got— which is absolutely awful to do to anyone.
As I’m sure you’re aware, we’re not a monolith. Some survivors find rape play (whether role play or in fictional works) helps them move past their trauma because it helps them to have the control they didn’t have as victims. But others find it triggering and upsetting and not helpful at all— and that’s valid too.
I personally don’t ship sc anymore mostly because I just don’t click with Ciel in the ship the way I do with other pairings. I also personally get very very uncomfortable with some underage depictions. For example, there was a fantastic sc fan fic a few years ago that I had to stop reading. It is one of the best written works in the fandom, but it just made me so uncomfortable (it’s underage) I had to stop.
But what did I do? Did i leave the author an angry message saying I was not gonna read it? No, ofc not. I just clicked away.
So if for you, you need situations in which you feel Ciel can fully consent/is in control to feel comfortable and happy then that’s perfectly valid! There’s no one “right” way to ship anything, and you have to look out for yourself first. Because we come to fandom to have fun and escape, so no need to delve into things you don’t like or that make you uncomfortable.
Antis are incapable of seeing these kinds of nuances, or realizing that purposefully consuming content that upsets you is self harm.
Sadly, if you openly ship sc (or even aren’t absolutely against it) you may get some hate. I know I have gotten my share, and it’s *always* about Ciel, no matter how I’ve depicted other characters or what ages they are in my stories. But I’ve also gotten hate for being a fujoshi (misgendering me at that) more than once, and some of it even before I joined the fandom… for my original work.
My point is that people are gonna attack you if they’re gonna attack you…. if you’re not willing to take that risk by being public about your ship that’s valid too. I definitely get how exhausting antis can be and if you’re just wanting to stare at your blorbos for a bit you don’t wanna be fighting of negativity left and right too.
It’s a shame that antis have started using the word pedo as a word for anyone they dislike, devaluing it, but the real shame imo is that they refuse to see that actual CSEM is bad not because it’s gross or immoral but because it harms actual children, who grow up to be adults with trauma.
I think it’s very important to distinguish actual CSEM (or “fictional works” that were intentionally modeled off real CSEM) from anything that’s purely fictional. Because you can never really know why someone made something or why someone likes something.
I write about child abuse, sexual and not, a lot because I find it very therapeutic, but someone might read my works and may draw other, completely erroneous conclusions about me and my motives.
I honestly think a huge chunk of the kuro fandom is nonbinary, but I don’t really know the demographics. I’m sure they’re slightly different depending on if you’re looking at the western or eastern fandoms…
But women can be toxic just like anyone else. Some of the absolute most vile antis I’ve seen identify as female.
Ultimately, I think that the best thing to do with the fandom (or any fandom, really) is to curate your experience. Block accounts that trigger you or don’t vibe with you. Find like-minded friends to chat with in private, so you don’t have to worry about strangers hopping on what you say. Filter tags and use apps if you need to.
I think it’s a shame that antis are so vocal in the fandom and have divided it so much. As a multishipper not much into sc, I have definitely felt that fracture more than some others, since sadly too many non-sc shippers think they need to scream about how icky that ship is and be jerks when we could just ignore sc entirely and enjoy the other ships we like instead together?
But the no matter what antis claim, sc shippers have always been and will always be the column that holds the fandom up, and you either need to make peace with it or learn to ignore it.
🫶
My ask box is open for anyone who doesn’t feel comfortable being open about their love for kuro but would like to squee over it/the new series with someone who doesn’t mind listening :)
#sorry for the long ramble#i hope i made some sense#poi answers#black butler#anon#fandumb#tw csa mention#tw child abuse mention#tw rape mention#sebaciel#antis dni
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I love the Ringed Seals episode from Above and Beyond so much. I love that they show kids that just because someone is quiet it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't want to talk it might just be that they don't really know how to talk to people. In fact, I just love Octonauts for all the representation; anxiety(Peso) , ADHD (Kwazii) because even though it never names any of these things, kids can notice other kids with these behaviours and not just think 'Oh they're weird, better keep out of their way' they can realise that they just need to be treated kindly and that they need to make an effort to understand. Also, the way it teaches kids about the environment and climate change, global warming, pollution, litter and it builds respect for animals and empathy... in conclusion I just just love the Octonauts so much it is an amazing show. I really hope it makes an impact because it has so many good messages.
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Why is it Jake gyllenhaal doesn’t get a lot of attention on here? Like I’ll sit on your page all day for fics of his
I don't mean to be dramatic, but I think he's one of the most underrated people out there and the world hasn't been fair to him.
Like, professionally... he's an actor everyone recognizes as extremely, insanely talented. You see his face everywhere when we talk about iconic movies/characters. He isn't getting awards from it, though.
People don't talk enough about how brave of him was to be in Brokeback Mountain in 2005. Nowadays every actor is getting praised for playing a gay character, but back in 2005 it could ruin your career, cause "you would never be seen as manly again" so who would hire you afterwards? Well, him and Heath showed up to the interviews to be disgustingly attacked for it, and they never allowed anyone to make fun of it and call it less than a love story. I can't imagine how hard it was for him to lose Heath right after all they've been through together.
And after all the attacks he got from it, now he has to keep his comments limited on social media because a bunch of brainwashed white girls will give him and his loved ones hell because of a 3 months relationship that happened over a decade ago (absolutely nothing against Taylor, what I don't understand is people going to war for her, when she doesn't need that).
It is cool and trendy to hate him now and I believe he lost opportunities because of it, like, fuck your talent, we're not gonna make money out of you now, we're gonna be canceled.
And to focus on your question, I truly believe this happens to creators/writers too. Back when Spiderman far from home came out, this place was crowded... but nowadays we just don't get as many notes and I believe some people are afraid of being attacked for being a Jake stan, like I've seen it happen A LOT on tiktok.
And all of this happening to someone who has absolutely ZERO polemics on his name, he's been on the spotlight since he was a kid and he's never been accused of being anything but sweet, funny, kind and humble.
So yeah, there's Hollywood for you, I guess.
#sorry for the long ramble#but I've had it in me for a while omfg#thanks for the ask#I needed to get it out and I COULD GO ON
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I think we as a fandom don't talk enough about Aira being Hiiro's fan—y'know, as an idol.
It might be because most people don't read the main story, or because it's not blatantly stated in there like other things, but it's something I think is a very unique facet about their relationship.
As we know, Aira separates his professional life and his personal life a lot. He will wait in line to shake hands with Hiyori Tomoe and buy a dozen CDs just to have a couple of extra minutes just talk to him, even though he can do this at any time since they're both idols living in the ES dorms and friends from the same circle.
And while this is admittedly silly from Aira's part, he truly sees this something serious and actually, he's kind of justified in thinking this way? He takes pride in being an idol otaku, and he wants to play as fair as possible with fellow fans, he doesn't want to take advantage of the fact that he's living and working alongside these super stars, and in my eyes that just shows how pure-hearted and honest he is.
With that in mind, it would be obvious to conclude that Aira would be a fan of his unitmates. He's definitely a fan of Tatsumi and Mayoi, but it's explicitly said in the MS that Aira is a fan of Hiiro.
This is from episode 89, "Grace"
(this episode may or may have not changed my brain chemistry forever lol)
Here, Aira makes the statement that he wants to protect Hiiro as an idol.
Hiiro is new to this world; he's a rookie, he's unpolished, far from perfect, but he's brimming with potential and he shines brightly on stage regardless of his imperfections — especially to Aira's eyes, and Aira wants to protect that, he wants to keep Hiiro's shine, and to help him grow and become the great idol Aira sees in him.
And I just can't express how much this means to me??? To their relationship??? This is why I can't understand people who say Aira doesn't care about Hiiro (these are opinions I've read way too often on twitter...), when Aira more than anyone wants to protect him not only as a person (like when he comforts him, cheers him up and motivates him after Rinne disowns him), but also as an idol. Aira trusts in Hiiro the idol. He sees his potential and he admires him deeply — not only as a fellow idol or as a friend, but as a fan.
And what gets me is the wording Aira uses here. He talks about wanting to protect Hiiro, to defend him. This is stated in another chapter and I don't remember exactly where (I believe it's one of the last episodes of the MS, but please correct me if I'm mistaken), but Aira states that he wants to protect Hiiro's purity — and this can be interpreted many ways, be it in that he wants to protect Hiiro's innocence as in his personality trait (his endearing naivety, his trusting and friendly nature, his endless curiosity, his earnestness and sincerity), or his purity as an idol, in the sense that because Hiiro is an idol, he has an appearance to keep, he has to be shining and to be pure and beautiful all the time (because that's the image idols give to the world, to their fans; the image that gives countless of people like Aira hope); this can include protecting Hiiro from the darker sides of the industry, such as toxic fans, unhealthy relationships with fame, corrupted producers or people from the industry, among other things. Aira seems to be aware of these issues (as he mentions in the second chapter of the main story, see below), so it makes sense that he wants to shield Hiiro, who knows absolutely nothing about this industry or the city, from those things.
Episode 24, "Suspicious"
And personally, I think Aira means both. He wants to protect Hiiro's purity as a person: he wants to protect the cheerful and positive Hiiro he knows and loves and admires (Aira himself states this. Multiple times. So much so that Aira often comments about how uncomfortable he feels when Hiiro is gloomy or troubled, that he is always the first to ask what is wrong or if something is bothering him.... but talking about Aira's high perceptiveness for Hiiro's emotions is a topic for another day) — but he also wants to protect Hiiro as an idol, wants to protect the immaculate image he gives to the world and to his fans, because Aira loves him, the same way he loves an idol from a fan standpoint. And he hopes that by protecting this purity, Hiiro will grow to be the talented and shining idol Aira knows he can be.
And what gets me is that after thinking of Hiiro this way, Aira snaps out of his self-deprecating thoughts and decides to give his best in the Ullambana (episode 89). Aira literally overcame his insecurities because of Hiiro. Thinking of having to do his best and keep working hard in order to keep up with him and with Alkaloid gave him the strength he needed to stop spiraling down his own insecurities and focus his efforts into something that was worth it: in keeping Alkaloid alive, and keeping Hiiro The Idol alive, because Aira believes he will become an idol that will soothe, delight and captivate hearts of many like Aira in the future — and Aira has to become an accomplished idol and a strong person if he is to be next to him on stage to protect him and to help him grow.
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I say a lot, mostly jokingly between my friends, that Aira is the biggest HiiroP... but after writing this whole post, I realize I'm not so far off from this assumption. Aira loves Hiiro as a friend, we all know and understand that, but what is often overlooked is that Aira—who divides his professional and personal life so strictly—recognizes the rookie, unpolished, but talented Hiiro as an idol, and he wants to see him grow and succeed not only as his friend and unitmate, but also as a fan. Hiiro is so shining and wonderful on stage that it awakens the idol-ota instinct on Aira, it brings him back to his roots where he watched and admired idols from afar and inspired and soothed his lonely heart. And honestly? I think this is terribly wholesome, if not incredibly beautiful, and I'm getting emotional over hiiai once again, so I'm going to finish the essay here. Thanks for reading ahdjfk
#we also don't talk about aira being the one protecting hiiro enough...#we usually think of hiiro since he's physically stronger and there's been scenes where he acts very protective of aira#like the famous “let go of aira!” scene w rinne#but we as a fandom often forget that aira does protect hiiro#albeit in a more subtle way#but honestly to me that's what makes it even more noble and admirable.#aira is tiny and weak but he's still one of the most determined and hardworking characters in enstars#and if he has as one of his goals to protect Hiiro's purity#then he will#idk man im just very moved by kanojo-kun trying his best to protect hiiro and his smile#and how he wants to nurture his potential as an idol bc he knows hiiro is capable of giving other people hope#the same way idols in the past did for aira#ueueueue#sorry for the long ramble#this was kinda copypasted from a chat w a friend on discord#but i tried changing it a bit so it makes more sense all together#hope it made sense lol#ensemble stars#enstars#enstars alkaloid#alkaloid#aira shiratori#hiiro amagi#hiiai#my post
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Who's your favourite TSH character and why?? Thank you!
Francis. Why: (A question I believe you’ll regret asking as I’m simply incapable of shutting up. (Skip to the end if you don’t want to read a myriad quotes from a book you’ve obviously already read))
— “Cubitum Eamus” “what?” “Nothing”
— “Does it ever strike you, in a horrible sort of way, how funny this is?”
— “Kind of a Jean Cocteau touch, isn’t it?”
— In reference to Francis: ‘I thought (erroneously) that he dressed like Alfred Douglas, or the Comte de Montesquiou..’
— ‘Francis, stooping to talk to a cat on a doorstep’
— ‘..Francis, in a swish of black cashmere and cigarette smoke’
— ‘I saw Francis Abernathy stalking across the meadow like a black bird, his coat flapping dark and crowlike in the wind’
— ‘he said mockingly’
— “Demigods,” said Francis, laughing. “We could sit on thrones in the town square”
— ‘Though Francis may or may not have been homosexual - and could just as easily have been a really dangerous type of ladies man - he was certainly of that vulpine, well dressed, unflappable sort..’
— ‘The pebbled drive was silver in the moonlight. Francis was standing in the shadows under some trees. When he saw us coming he stepped suddenly onto the lighted path. “Boo,” he said.’
— The country house. Just the country House.
— Francis and Richard’s relationship. I just adore it.
—*Francis cooking*
— “For my bath”
— ‘Francis sat curled in the window seat with a plate of little sandwiches in his lap, reading, in French, the Memoires of the Duc De Saint-Simon…He had gone to several schools in Europe and spoke excellent French, though he pronounced it with the same lazy, snob accent as his English; sometimes I got him to help me with my own own lessons in first-year French, tedious little stories about Marie and Jean-Claude going to tabac, which he read aloud in a languishing, hilarious drawl that sent everyone into hysterics.’
— ‘he was singing, and his high, clear voice, slightly out of key, floated out the kitchen window’
— ‘ “Really,” said Francis, I think I just need an Alka-Seltzer.’
— ‘Francis, Barefoot and still in his bathrobe, stepped over rocks and branches, balancing his glass of ginger ale. Once we got to the lake he waded in, up to his knees, and beckoned dramatically like Saint John the Baptist.’
— “Mother of god”
— ‘To my surprise Francis laughed, a humorless little snort’
— ‘Francis, lightning a new cigarette of the end of old one.’
— ‘He held up an imaginary newspaper. “Crazed Hippies Indicted for Rural Thrill-Killing”. “Cult slaying of Old Abe So-and-So” ’
— ‘ “After a minute or two-“ “it was only a few seconds,’ Henry said. “- after a minute..” ’
— “Forgive me, for all the things I did but mostly for the ones that I did not”
— ‘ “you idiot,” he said chuckling. “Did you know your shirt’s on inside out?” ’
— ‘ “Well I know what I’m going to do”, said Francis. He stood up unsteadily and pulled with his forefinger at his collar. Startled I looked up at him and he laughed at my suprise. “I want to sleep,” he said, with a melodramatic roll of his eye, “dormir plutot que vivre!” ’
Anyway, sorry, sorry. I’ll stop before I just write out the entirety of Francis’s lines.
In the end he’s just simply relatable; I too am a queer, anxious, dramatic, admittedly contemptuous, smoker, who makes out with boys (and others) solely because they’re ‘there’ (let’s say this as if it isn’t because I have a habit of destroying/avoiding relationships), who traipses around in elegant black coats, and drinks far too much whisky and red wine. Oh and… I’m also a hypochondriac who despises doctors appointments… And no, this isn’t me saying I’m drawn to Francis because oh, he’s like me. It’s more of a strange idolization of sorts. Of someone who feels like an idyllic version of myself. And so, being the self hating - yet narcissistic - boy that I am, in summary favor Francis.
#Why is it that I continued listing shit about myself?#Sorry for taking so long. I decided I should actually check that I got all the quotes right because I don’t trust my own memory.#francis abernathy#sorry for the long ramble#the secret history#dark academia#Ramblings
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I NEED TO DISSECT THAT SEQUENCE UNDER A MICROSCOPEOREN S NADJSDLKS:DS I love just. I already mentioned the voice acting and the model comparisons before but OH MY GOHOHOHOHOOD. The Atlas designs really do feel like matured versions of their Beacon counterparts I am SHOOKETH that was so fucking GOOD I VLOE UP Also I'm just now noticing the shot contrast between the Beacon girls posing the offers and the Atlas girls rejecting them. The focuses on their mouths and the deceptiveness of what they're offering at first contrasted with the eye closeups and the determination/soul that comes with them. It makes me so god-damned EMO
And also Can I just
BLAKE PULLING OUT GAMBOL SHROUD'S KATANA RIGHT AS SHE SAYS "MY LIFE." THIS WEAPON HAS BEEN WITH HER THROUGH EVERYTHING. THE WHITE FANG THROUGH ADAM THROUGH HER STRUGGLES WITH HER PARENTS THROUGH TO THE HEALING SHE GOT THROUGH MEETING RWY AND YANG. FRAMING THE GOLDEN MEND RIGHT IN THE CENTRE OF THE FRAME/LIGHT. AND BC EVERYTHING ELSE IS PURPLE LIKE THAT IT JUST STANDS OUT SO MUCH EVEN THOUGH IT'S SO TINY. THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THAT MEND ON THAT BLADE IS SO FUCKING KEY TO BLAKE AS A CHARACTER. OH MY FUCKING GOD. EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO BERSERK OVER THIS. FUCKING HELL THIS WAS GORGEOUSLY DONE.
The way Yang doesn't lash out or gets aggressive but just. She's being firm but also tries to be a guide to her younger self. She knows that the way she was normally taught would be either through rushing into it and finding out the hard way or from... Tai! And that method is not ideal to say the least. He tries but pushes her in the wrong way, with a lot of insults involved in some form (lost a brain cell along with that arm, your semblance is a temper tantrum, groaning at her hesitance at wearing her arm for the first time, I wanted a better goodbye than a letter etc.). I feel like she's using this opportunity to be the type of guide she's always wanted to be for others (namely Ruby) but also the kind she wishes she had for herself in life. Her life's always set her up to be a risk-taker and rush into things head on (all the way down to her semblance) and I'm realy happy that, in a way, she's finally taking the time to tell herself that what she really needed was to slow the fuck down. It's so fucking sad but also so good I'm OUGHHGHGH. The difference between Yang and Tai is empathy and it means the world.
Weiss' section oh god Weiss' section. Her speech has been sung about to death by now but it's just so iconic of her tbh. But can I just say I freaking LOVE the way she just has so much SASS. Honestly the best way to shut down pre-Beacon Weiss is with her own poison. But a detail I spotted that I really enjoy that's kinda hard to focus on at first cus big camera movement is her head movements when she say "I am" that was peak sass. I love that so fuckin much here it is timestamped: https://youtu.be/8eoazsK1n8k?t=103
But fr tho, I love the way she points her sword right at younger Weiss' nose like that.
Also the differences in the two's silhouettes and colours is some of my favourites, I love the contrast between the white laced with that tiny bit of red for rebellion and really faded Blue, only to over time gradually gain much bolder, more vibrant colours and a bigger form. Her v1 design is my favourite shape-wise still but if this isn't a massive parallel to how Blake's designs have evolved over the years idk what is.
Also I love the way she looks so confident when she plants Myrtenaster in the ground. Reminds me of Arma Gigas planting its sword to the ground in this context. She really reclaimed it so fucking hard in this scene I am going to blow up
Like look at them and tell me which one is the stronger individual here. Bro
Framing Ruby like this
FOUL. VILE. EVIL EVIL EVIL.
Single spotlight of silver light. With the Indomitable scene, the track Miracle, the talk with Maria, her mom... from her eyes, everything rests on her and it all starts with those fuckass iris pigments. Qrow told her she was destined for the life of a warrior but oh god why did it have to be like this. She's completely overtaken by her failure to her legacy as a continuation of a literal fucking myth in so many different ways I'm gonna snap
#riin rewatches v9#SORRY FOR THE LONG RAMBLE#I'm very passionate abt this scene#it's so fucking good#9x4
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Some more stuff for my fairly odd parents a new wish au. Jorgen design + some sketches messing around with designs. Jorgen was a fun challenge because I wanted to change him a lot to fit more with the fae ascetics, but still wanted hem to be kinda recognizable. I also wanted him to look less human to make him more intimidating, and because he doesn’t work with humans as often.
Lore stuff!
The x on Jorgens crown can change shape and is used to emote.
Each faeries magic will take on a unique shape and color. Jorgens magic is green and shaped like an x because it’s both a detail of his original design, and the x symbol can mean no or a strike which I think fits his role and personality.
Jorgen is one of the highest ranking fairies and is responsible for enforcing Da Rules(the name Da Rules comes from an old mistranslation).It’s a series of treaty’s between fae and humans.
Jorgen was in the many wars between humans and fae, and he even lost his wings in them. This has made him work hard to make sure that rules are followed and peace and order is maintained. Jorgan is highly respected so is almost always referred to by titles such as The Judge or The Arbiter.
#the fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fop au#fop peri#fop jorgen#art#digital art#my art stuff#my art#I use fae and fairy’s interchangeably hope it isn’t to confusing#sorry for the long ramble#hope you enjoyed#fop fae au
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bel please tell us about your capitol oc (i need the inspiration)
AAA AN OC ASK??? THANK U SM LILY ML <33
okok before anyone reads, TW for suicide attempt and just death in general, this is thg.
so this oc is sadly not a tbosas mentor bc he wasn't born at that time but i can say he is distantly related to dennis fling.
to start off, his name is vestis sylver and at the time of the 47th games (when he first becomes an escort) he is 22 years old.
he grew up in a typical privileged capitol household, his family had that ingrained prejudice to the districts, they werent as outspoken as other families though. he grew up not watching the games out of disinterest and kind of turned a blind eye to whatever happened in the districts because it didnt affect him.
this changes completely when his best friend (who he totally didn't have a crush on) from the capitol who was banished to district nine because of speaking out against the capitol, settled down and had kids and then one of the kids got reaped and died in the games.
that inspires him to become an escort for d9 specifically but oh boy did he make a mistake. first off, the mentor that he works with died the year before due to unforseen circumstances (she was killed by the capitol for silent rebellion, rip anona ryan, you'll be missed). he (at first) manages to help get back-to-back winners with ceres miller and angus flaxon (i changed the dates they won to fit this hc.... if u saw the og post with different dates..... ignore that 😭) but even with this newfound motive and a goal to help d9 win the games (not abolish the games overall) it completely backfires. his glamorised capitol background and privilege makes him blind to how difficult it actually is in the districts, even if he thinks he wants to help.
most of the tributes are unresponsive to him and he starts to realise "helping" the districts is much harder than he thinks. over and over again he tries to get through to the tributes (and the mentors... mainly ceres bc she is just done w him atp) but it never works, and they die over and over and over again. his work for the games strains him and all of his relationships get more and more difficult. he sees himself changing from someone who only cared about the districts because of a capitol friend into someone who really wants change, who sees himself in these kids and starts to realise that all district kids are the same as capitol kids, they just don't have the right opportunities.
he gets older and older and sees more and more that he needs to fight for these people. he realises that the games don't need to be "won", they need to be abolished. at one point (around the 65th games) the male tribute for district nine commits suicide before the games which causes a huge scandal, and it makes vestis realise that being an escort isn't going to help the kids, and starts to be subtly rebellious by spending more and more time in d9 when he should be in the capitol.
during the 68th games, where my oc thea wins, plutarch heavensbee is thea's sponsor and vestis and him get to talking. he ends up being in with the rebel plan, but makes the difficult decision not to tell the mentors of d9, who are already extremely depressed and he doesn't want to burden them with the information. (he later comes to realise this was the WRONG decision.... i wonder why.)
anyway that's as far as ive gotten into his story, im probably gonna continue his influence to the third quarter quell. hope u enjoyed this incoherent rant and hope it gives u some inspo 😭.
#bel answers stuff#sorry for the long ramble#im probably gonna realise this makes no sense after rereading it#oc: vestis sylver#oc: ceres miller#oc: angus flaxon#oc: thérèse “thea” vaughn#oc tag
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Honestly once I realized gen alpha is like actually here, the oldest I believe is 12? And not little enfants I was like, sure it might be cringe to us but just let kids be kids, y'know? Im not going to chastise them for repeating back the material being thrust into their faces.
My younger sibilings are Gen alpha and I hear them say all those "cringe" things from the internet. But its not their fault. Its ours. I should have played with them more or encouraged them to be outside. Or the very least supervise what content they consume on the internet.
Today I was teaching some kids and I asked them what their favourite tv show was and they said they didnt watch tv. They watched youtube and was constantly on the internet. They're children, any cringe or annoying behaviour is just a result of the environment they were placed in
Why do you think we make fun of millenials? We make fun of them for basically not understanding us. Gen Z takes a lot of pride in "breaking cycles" and being this generation that makes a difference. And while that's true we are still not perfect and that's okay. But maybe we should bring this mind set to other generations. Let Gen Alpha be Gen Alpha
#RenaRamblesss#Sorry for the long ramble#I just think gen z is belittling gen alpha a bit too far#Sorry if it doesnt make sense
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The new Raphael stuff is like, so like, basically it's just straight urban fantasy now, we're in modern day but there's magic and shit. Everyone has magic in side of them and it manifests in a specific way To Them. Manifestations of this magic can be similar but it's tied to an individual and changes as the person goes through life (this is mostly to not bog myself down with a super complex magic system).
However, magic can be corrupted in 2 ways, either from overuse (which is a temporary corruption. you just gotta chill out with using it) and from trauma and stress. The trauma and stress one is more permanent and at a certain point that corruption can be permanent and entirely change how your body reacts to using magic and how it manifests. Corrupted magic often mirrors the trauma in some way, even if it's the smallest bit.
Raphael's fucked up, he's my fucked up little boy, and his magic has been completely corrupted. Raphael's is like this. if he's calm and tries really hard he can still summon his magic in it's original form (small blue flames) but it often just manifests now as blue skin patches and eyes forming on his body. The beast/cat form that I've drawn him in now is like what happens if he overuses/gets too distressed. He's still conscious when he's in that form, but it's basically like, when he's having a meltdown that's what happens so his impulse control is completely gone and he's a lot more dangerous. There's like, magic suppressant things that he can take, but he obviously doesn't like to do that lol.
On the flip side, Lionel's magic is also completely corrupted, but he's apart of this religion that believes corruption means a moral failing on the person and has a spell to lock away someone's magic completely if it comes to that. Lionel was forced to get this spell done on him by the way. But magic is a big part of everyone so it's inherently repressive and constrictive and has caused Lionel to repress large parts of himself too. He's not even able to really process the trauma that got his magic to get to that point because he's not able to touch it anymore.
The story still starts as Lionel and Raphael sex romance, but I do think a big part of the story now is Raphael wondering if he wants to get this spell to repress this part of his body that seems to actively hate him and cause more harm. And working through his feelings on that with Lionel who has done that and isn't exactly happy with it.
and also Raphael's dad Sigthy is maybe a cult leader now because I can't write a story without a cult like it's physically impossible for me.
#SORRY FOR THE LONG RAMBLE#Been slowly poking at this new version a little bit and i'm like#this has a thematic core that could maybe help me process my own shit#sure peggle blast who gives a shit
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This happened a few days ago, but I'm still pissed off bout it.
I've told this to a few people and they didn't think I was over exaggeratin even though I feel like an absolute fuckin asshole cause of it.
My roommate, for the third time, has barged into my room WITHOUT knockin to see if I'm in there.
One time, I understand that it can be a mistake.
Second time, ok, dude, what the fuck? (I was also asleep durin this time as well as the first time cause of depression)
Third time, NOW it's just gettin really, really annoyin.
I could've been naked, changin or whatever and she'd could've seen me in a vulnerable position of distress cause of my bipolar. (Which, at THAT point, DON'T fuckin try to talk to me cause of it.)
I told her this after the third time to fuckin KNOCK BEFORE ENTERIN ANYONE'S ROOM.
She HATED it when her siblings did that to her, WHY do that to me?
Her reasonin?
“I wanted to know if you were home.”
THAT'S NO FUCKIN REASON TO GO INTO MY DAMN ROOM WITHOUT KNOCKIN
I lock my door now when I'm home and I shouldn't be doin that.
We're fuckin adults (she's 24 bout to be 25 in October and I'm goin to be 26 next month) and it should be fuckin courtesy to knock before enterin or even text me (which yes, I said in the upper paragraph that I don't want to be talk to if I'm goin through a mental breakdown or I just don't want to talk at all, but my point STILL fuckin stands.) OR AT LEAST SOMETHIN TO NOT TREAT ME LIKE THIS WHEN I SHOULDN'T BE FUCKIN LOCKIN MY DOOR AT NIGHT CAUSE SHE MIGHT BARGE IN AGAIN.
I don't know anymore. I'm just goin on and on again with my rant. I'm just fuckin tired.
#THEN SHE SAID THAT IT'S BEST TO MOVE IN DIFFERENT PLACES WHEN I CAN'T AFFORD TO LIVE BY MYSELF#AND I HAVE SO MUCH MORE SHIT TO MOVE THAN SHE FUCKIN DOES#SHE FUCKIN TOLD ME THAT SHE WAS HOPIN I'D MAKE FRIENDS SO I CAN MOVE IN WITH ‘EM TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR ME#THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS#THAT'S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS#I TOLD HER THAT TOO#UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH#sorry for the rant in the tags#sorry for the long ramble#rant#G rants#Long post#Not DC#Not DC related#personal#personal post#I need to shut up#shut up G#fuck my life
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it's been years since galavant ended but one scene that sticks with me is the scene in 01x05 where they're fixing each other's robes and complimenting each other but like i personally feel like there's so many layers to it? these are presumably their final words to each other before they part and there's some light banter and teasing and a genuineness to it. there's also this warmth and appreciation. but there's also this sadness to it? the moment after izzy says "you have the ability to see the best in people even after they've wronged you" and she stops what she's doing to look up at him and when she does he looks absolutely fucking smitten and the galavant instrumental starts playing tenderly and slowly for the second time(first time was in the pilot when he attempted to stop madalena's wedding, so... tender music before someone he trusts betrays him... coolcoolcool) is so important to me because in that moment izzy realizes she's in love with him and gal is going through conflicting emotions because he believes he's in love with madalena but he knows he's growing an affection or fondness for izzy and doesn't quite realize(or maybe he doesn't even want to believe) that he's in love with her. they both say "madalena" with a sort of groundedness(?) but also some slight disappointment because they both know that's the reason why he's even here. finally, there's a longing look from both of them before gal leaves to help sid and they sadly smile at each other. not to mention izzy has major guilt brewing on top of all this.
#galavant#galavant 01x05#gary galavant#princess isabella maria lucia elisabetta of valencia#princess isabella#galavant x isabella#galabella#karen david#joshua sasse#sorry for the long ramble#i overanalyze shit so much#this is such an important moment to me in the show!!!
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