#grief tag

[trans-axolotl]

missing and mourning. so many fucking people today. never gets easier only gets different. and i just lost c**** last week.

derek and c**** and ollie and jasmine and pauly and more and more and more you are remembered.

i miss you so fucking much.

[graysonnightwing]

mom's funeral was yesterday. it was extremely surreal but at the end she got buried in her favorite place in the world and her grave overlooks her childhood home, and im glad she gets to rest there. i love you mommy. i miss you.

[marcandreyuri]

talked briefly about this in my tags when i reblogged this post but starting a new fic that im actually really excited about :) i havent written since my mom died, and even though it's only been a month it's the longest i've gone without writing in a long time so i've been feeling really unmoored even putting aside the "my mom just died" feelings. really happy to have an idea that i'm looking forward to writing.

basically the fic is:

winners room au but its not really about winners rooms. its about sid's rookie and sophomore seasons and how he always gets picked for winners rooms and he hates it. obviously they suck (because he sucks in them ba dum dum 🥁). but also. he actually is gay unlike seemingly everyone else, which is discovery he made during his rookie season when he found himself at a gay bar after a game/winners room because he was just driving around and wanted to get out of his head and went into the first bar he saw.

and he has fun! and goes back again and again. makes some friends there with people who definitely know who he is but dont out him since im not interested in writing an outing story rn.

so its sort of about like….. the juxtaposition of being a winners room forfeit while also discovering and exploring his sexuality.

and lo and behold one night his sophomore season he looks across the room and sees geno at the gay bar. geno sees him too and they suddenly have this secret that they share. and they fall in love obviously of course.

but the climax is sid and geno at sid's house having meaningful sex for the first time in sid's life that's NOT in a bar bathroom or in a winners room.

im about 1500 words in and originally thought it might be like 10k but now that ive started writing i think it'll end up being longer? so currently shooting for like 15k with a very very hopeful word count closer to like 20k? last time i was mourning i found losing myself in writing to be really helpful so im trusting that this time i will find the same even though this grieving is like so much more encompassing than anything ive ever felt.

[scattered-winter]

theres something kinda haunting about the internet + grief if you think about it like i can see all of my friend's dms and the groupchat we were all in together and i can still send her messages even though she's been dead for almost a year now. nobody is in the groupchat anymore because none of us can talk to each other without thinking about her but i can still see all the conversations we used to have. my mom's whatsapp account is still up because nobody has thought to take it down. idk man the internet is full of ghosts

[unadulteratedkr]

.

[gondorsfinest]

apparently I have a type lmfao

[illumiera]

🍂

it's been two months and i still talk about her in the present tense and i still think to myself "maybe i'll go to her house later" or "i should show her these photos i took" or "i should start thinking about what i'll get her for christmas"

[april-december]

Me: So I’ve been dealing with my anticipatory grief and the lasting grief that follows by using distraction as a coping mechanism and really immersing myself into a new TV show

Them: Cool, what are the themes of the show?

Me: Grief and anticipatory grief.

Them: ……

[righteousliar]

do you ever hear yourself laugh and hear them in the echo? do their eyes watch you from your bathroom mirror? is their scent still there, mixed in with your own? if you reach down deep enough, would you find their heart nestled in along your own, side by side in shattered perpetuity?

[poodlemajima]

i miss my dog so much. i know it’s weird but he really loved deftones and some other artists, id play then in my car and he’d be so excited he’d put his head up by mine from the back seat. i miss him so much

[trans-axolotl]

found out yesterday that one of the organizers i do harm reduction outreach with just died, and i'm really crushed. today's overdose awareness day and there has already been so many people who died this year--there's been 600 fatal overdoses and about 1/3 of those have been people we knew because we provide harm reduction services to them. almost every outreach shift we learn someone has died that week. we're having an event/memorial today for overdose awareness day and it just hurts even more to know that they're gone, too. so many fucking people we're grieving + so many preventable deaths--the war on drugs fucking kills and i am so, so fucking livid about it.

[graysonnightwing]

today is one month since my mom died. every day is worse and worse.

[scattered-winter]

i have to say i'm getting sick of hearing stuff about jesus and heaven rn

[misseyres]

found a mass here at the same time the funeral started so obviously I went and something about it undid all of the compartmentalization and I cried the entire time and then cried on the street afterward I had to call my bf to calm me down girl who is NOT okay!!!!

[gondorsfinest]

dads these days don’t know how to apologize all they know is accounting, black coffee, put gas in car, eat hot chip and die

[illumiera]

unstoppable force (grief hitting randomly and unexpectedly) versus immovable object (generally very organised person who likes to know exactly when to expect things)