#well its kinda all of them maybe but the specifics
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On being an Indoraptor
I realized I very rarely ever talk about my indoraptor kintype, but lately I've been feeling a lot more connected to it, so I thought I'd make a post.
[Kinda long, but I appreciate those who read. ^^]
For starters, how exactly do I label this kintype? Well, I definitely would consider it to be a fictotheriotype. Regardless of its intelligence, it's still a very feral creature. I wouldn’t call it a paleotheriotype, just 'cus it's not a real dinosaur.
One thing I feel I definitely need to mention is that I'm not fictionkin of the indoraptor from Jurassic; I'm simply just that species. Going a bit into specifics, I'm not entirely sure what color I am, but I usually feel like the standard black w/ gold.
I don't entirely know what level this identity is on. I'm questioning whether or not I have memories. I do get a lot more indo' mental shifts than I do my main kins. A lot of people make the assumption that being an indo' means I'm a big, savage, bloodthirsty beast. But that's definitely not the case.
In the movie/related media, I've always felt really connected to the idea of indos being used in the military. I feel like as an indo' I would be highly trained and very loyal to the person/people in charge of me. I feel like that "vicious" nature is still in my blood, but only used when specifically instructed to.
I would also be no less affectionate or gental with my trainers than a military dog. I'm not really sure why, but I always feel like a "domestic" version of all my kins. Like I should be under human care. Maybe it's because I've been raised around them, but there's never been a "wild" bone in my body. Even as a big scary dinosaur.
So what do shifts feel like? Well, phantom wise, it's mostly whole body, but with a strong focus on my muzzle and front legs. Mentally, it's a bit hard to explain. It feels like I have this deeply ingrained sense of being on a mission or having an important purpose. I want to be low to the ground, sniff, be quiet and cautious. All the works.
So... yeah. Military dog-dino. Not sure what level I ID on. Not canon accurate background. And that's about it. ^^
#a-r-yips#fictotherian#fictherian#nonhuman#nonhumanity#fictionkin#otherkin#therian#therianthropy#alterhuman#alterhumanity#holothere
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https://www.tumblr.com/chimggukchim/770049627903901696/but-it-will-not-and-cannot-be-what-it-was-before?source=share
First thing first i saw another anon say this anon is a tkkr who's sneaking in jkk space when i can very well tell anon is just a jkkr who has seen difference in jikook over the chapt2 era. Just because one jkkr doesn't agree with another doesn't mean they HAVE to be from another ship. And Tkkrs don't talk about jkk the way anon talked because it's hard for Tkkrs to even address the things jkk did together Especially GCFT so anon is definitely not a tkkr.
Second idk in which spaces YOU were because the whole jikook tag was clogged with very much negativity during AYS Especially after 1st,2nd ep because everyone was Feeling the difference in the way jk talked to anon because we have never seen them bicker this much after their debut self. over these past few yrs we have seen them very much be sweet towards e/o and not really bicker atleast not to the level of AYS and it was maybe because we never had full hrs of just jkk only so we're seeing their raw self so maybe jkk have been this way towards e/o for long time but we just never got to witness it before and hence why it was kinda shocking for many jkkrs and yes there was very much negativity. talking about how jk said "Jimin is dead" and laughed when jm was sick because some jkkrs didn't like that because they haven't seen jk talk like that etc etc. If you need @ of the blogs who's seen this negativity ask me and I'll definitely provide it in next ask (I'm not doing in this one because I don't wanna disclose their @ to other anons who might attack them).
Yes the 1st ep looked awkward maybe because they haven't hangout together for some time and when they're doing they're in front of cam so they don't know how to act, It happens when you're meeting s/o after some time and haven't exactly planned things you're doing or you haven't thought it thoroughly. They Started loosening up at the end of 2nd ep. And if anyone talks about their physical closeness as why would they be close like that when they are awkward then ITS taekook is good example of that why or how.
anon didn't lie when they said that jk didn't bother showing up for jm anywhere because that's true. he was at hybe for CK most probably saw jm is practicing stopped there and went home exactly like how he showed up at one of hobi's filming during JITB because the set was in hybe. That time jm specifically asked jk to come to show support to him more and jungkook didn't come again. we saw jm's practice BB and jk wasn't there again and when jk asked when was jm's next music show jm also told him that jk has already seen his dance during practice so it's normal to assume the practice was last one. yes he might have came for another practice but given we haven't seen I'll chose not to make up that "he came to the practice again" because if everyone just start assuming things with nothing to back up there's no difference them and Tkkrs.You remembered what jm said what during serendipity recording then how did you forgot what jm said During festa 2022 when jk was whinning about jm not showing him his songs along with other members?? let me tell you jm said "Well i told you, asked you all to come and see me work" so didn't jm give open invitation here to ALL members including jk? so did he go or not? i guess not if we go by the whinning he was doing over jm not showing him his song, we have also seen jk watching jm doing filter practice so I'm sure coming again for jm's other practices or MV sets to "show support" shouldn't be so hard given jk went to dream movie premiere, and a musical of tae's frnds to show support or wtv it was. plus given how jk traveled to Hawaii when tae said he missed jk so the hybe building (hobi saw jm there working as well so the pdogg house wasn't the only place jm worked) and before you wonder how new i am it's my 5th year in the Fandom. not as old as you but old enough to have known all of their contents.
Jimin talked about him talking with jk about music for hrs and said that he'd tell jk what he learned so i think he was talking about the time AFTER they shot in NYC for AYS. jm talked about going to vocal lessons when he was working on muse(in his live) so I'm assuming he talked with jk about music after NYC trip where he also heard "Who" for the very first time. my personal assumption which I'm pretty sure of is that jk wasn't aware of what's going on with jm when he was working on FACE and the live jk did after face dropped was him just catching up with what's jm doing. I mean he didn't even know when jm was doing his music shows etc etc. my personal assumption tho.
There's no need for jkk to lie to us and say "you didn't call me when i was free and i didn't call you when u were free" because they simply could have not said anything rather than lying. I'm definitely not a tkkr who spin their words to fit my narative so I'll take things as it is said to us when I don't see any reason for them to lie to us.
Yes having e/o in military is a comfort for them but I'll ask u if u get an option of enlisting alone OR u can Enlist with ur friend whom you know for a decade now what option would u chose? won't u wanna go with ur frnd if U actually have an option? given the status they have it's obvious more comfort for them that they have their frnd with them so I believe any normal human would chose to go with their frnd than alone with given option. and jkk do have visible tattoes so they obviously have limited options that don't mean they have to go with e/o BUT why not go with ur frnd than go alone? it's very natural doens't have to be "they can't live w/o e/o".
And just like Taekook changed jikook changed as well. many have hard time beliveing it but that's what how atleast some of us see it. have some points to add for this topic as why but it's already too long so I'll stop.
Thank you, anon, for the oh so detailed read.
And for also proving my point that some people on here actually believe that the only times jikook have ever interacted in their entire lives is when they film content for us.
Bravo!
I was going to just leave it at that but I've got some time so why not write more?
Anon not being a tkkr? Yeah, okay. It is true that not all jikookers have the same opinion. Some support, some simply ship and can become very insecure because they don't actually see jikook as two actual people in an actual relationship. But I actually have working braincells and can very easily spot tkkr rhetoric as opposed to insecure jikooker rhetoric. Anon was a tkkr clearly trying to gaslight. I can actually point out very specific phrases used if you'd like.
Jikook have never bickered before AYS? Really?! REALLY?! You stated you're five years into this fandom so my assumption is your consumption of content begins at 2019. Because there is NO WAY that anyone could have seen jikook interactions since 2013, and claimed they have only ever been 'lovey-dovey'.
If there was any awkwardness at the very beginning of filming (which I still have yet to see), do you know why? It's because Jimin and Jungkook DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT THEY WERE FILMING! They didn't even have a frigging name for the show! To the point that they, along with the staff said on multiple occasions that they didn't even know if this even would be released. Not because they were awkward with each other but because they were just going with the flow for the first time. And as entertainers, they needed to feel out the situation to provide content for us. Guess what? That takes a bit of time.
And your whole essay on JK not being there for Jimin? I'm not even going to go into detail because clearly the only time Jimin and Jungkook interact is when a camera is rolling.
Finally the military thing. You know what would have been more comforting than each other? Being assigned to an area that wasn't the most dangerous and active. And visible tattoos have nothing to do with anything as a lot of persons have posted about. It may have barred them from a select few, but certainly not all other avenues. And Jungkook could have just as easily chosen Taehyung to enlist with. But he didn't. And I hardly think he tossed a coin or that Jimin was the second option. The apparently indigestible fact remains that jikook actively chose each other.
You claim that jikook changed, just like Taekook, and that's just how some of 'you' see it. Fine. Everyone's entitled to their opinion. And I would actually genuinely be interested in those 'whys' you mentioned.
But please, when you do, make sure you can clearly reference from the beginning.
Because I can also do that to show how jikook's relationship has changed over the years. Only, it's not going to be the change you see.
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the problem is that it's so hard to really analyze anything about arcane, and draw any conclusions about the story, because of the way it was written and conceived in the first place.
to the people who're like "yeah season 2 was bad, but season 1 was a MASTERPIECE in story writing and PERFECT in every way", that's just not true. the cracks were already there in season 1. there's multiple things, especially overarching ones, that just don't add up, and several ways that the story progresses that seem like odd choices. the thing was that, to me, the rest of it was all so good... the small details, the contained scenes were so well done, so detailed, so touching, that i really believed that maybe those cracks were just hiccups after all, and it's not a big deal, and maybe they'll even make a lot more sense and all get tied up with a nice little bow in season 2 (ha)
to me, at this point, it seems obvious that the way season 1 came into being was that these three idiots (who should never be allowed to write anything ever again) wrote a script, that was so terrible that riot had to bring in help to fix it for them (cause they were that incapable) and then someone got handed their slop and told "save this as much as you can, but keep the main points the same", and save it THEY DID! but the overarching plot is still the original one. which is why there's this dissonance all across it.
season 1 often seems like it's trying to tell two different stories at once. the example that comes easiest to me is jinx's transformation from powder to jinx post time skip. to the people i know irl who watched it, me included, the difference between these two is jarring, to the point that it just doesn't seem realistic that powder would change that much. this is what most people's reaction to her transformation was. like, sure, she changed... but jinx is almost a completely different person. and we can sit here and analyze all we want, and say yeah, but look, in ep2 min37, powder laughs when an enforcer is hurt, so that shows that she is indeed attracted to violence even at this age, but like... first of all, im at this point fully convinced that these details were put in specifically for that, to attenuate the valley that is between powder's character and jinx's, and I also honestly feel embarrassed that i even have to do all of this at all.
other notable examples are whatever is going on between jinx and silco in their relationship. like, yeah, he was actually a good father to her... but actually, there's something weird going on between them... but actually, no... he was better than vander, but actually he was worse than vander and was actually the cause of everything bad in jinx's life..... and on, and on, because the literal story itself never actually makes up its mind on what it wants the relationship between these two characters to be. same as it never makes up its mind on whether powder was a cute, innocent kid who was just manipulated by silco, or if powder was born like that and was just looking for an opportunity to release her inner jinx. same way as it never makes up its mind on whether vi is a devoted sister, who would do anything to get powder back, as she herself says, or if she actually thinks this new enforcer chick she just met is kinda cooler, as her actual actions would indicate. does silco adopt jinx because he sees himself in her, or does he intend to use her as a weapon and then later on grows to actually care about her? there comes a point where "this is a complex story" just becomes an excuse for "we were actually working with three different ideas at once and we never really decided on which one we were gonna do and we kinda just prayed it would all work out somehow"
the one thing that arcane season 2 has on season 1 is that it doesn't suffer from any of these weird identity issues. it's bad and simplistic but it's bad and simplistic in its entirety and it doesn't ever seem interested in being anything else. the story has no continuity or congruence issues, except of course for the ghost of season 1 that haunts it, and especially haunts the writers, who so far have displayed nothing but dismay for the story that actually made this show so acclaimed, and have done all they could to bury it as much as possible in season 2.
now, personally, im a big death of the author truther. even more so in cases like these, where we're dealing with teams of people. power struggles happen in studios, and in writing rooms, and at every level of production. and these three people that have taken credit don't seem like the most emotionally (or intellectually) mature individuals.
so, to solve all these issues, just know that when im discussing or analyzing arcane, im going off the interpretation of the events that serves the story the most, and that leads to the most meaningful narrative and the one that is most worth telling. all of this weird lee and overton slop that snuck in im gonna be completely ignoring.
#arcane critical#the last part is only a little bit ironic#i hate this fucking trio man#how do these people get to write scripts for shows like arcane it's just not fair
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💔🎈❗️🥀🍓💋🐞 for my beloved caiji pretty please 🙏
Reblogging ask games when I know I barely developed the characters or plot yet is gonna end me..
💔 (broken heart) - Who has your character hurt most? Physically or emotionally? How did it feel? Do they regret it?
Initially I wanted to say her sister, but I actually think that's untrue depending on your scale of how bad something is. So, my true answer? Her parents. It...well it's hard to place how it felt. Y'know the song from Epic, Monster? Does she regret it? Not in the tiniest little bit. She BRAGS about it. Eventually..
🎈 (balloon) - What does your character do at parties? Are they a wallflower or a party animal? Do they go with friends or alone?
Parties are never to have fun, not for Caiji. They're networking, plotting, scheming events. You find out information and make your next move, you gather things to hang over others. She does drink, though due to her... incredible size a few glasses of wine is the same as water to her. Though she does drag her sister everywhere
❗️(exclamation point) - What was the scariest moment of your character’s life? Does it still affect them?
This is so far in the plot I can't even hint at it. But it's me, ofc I'll hint at it. So I'll take this moment to remind people, for completely unrelated reasons, to glance at the worst content warnings..
🥀 (wilted flower) - How does your character deal with stressful situations? Is their fear response fight, flight, freeze or fawn?
None? Where's the "throw all your values to the wind and strategize the easiest possible way for you to live" response? Taps the Monster from Epic sign
🍓 (strawberry) - Does your oc believe in anything? Are they superstitious? Religious? Atheistic? Has anything in their past made them this way?
Hmm. I actually never thought of this in depth. Yokai understand that magic is its own science, it operates outside of reality and changes it as it pleases. There's no gods, if that's what's implied. But they do worship strong historical figures. Caiji, specifically, has a very complicated relationship with this kind of ideology. She's the daughter of two of the physically strongest and most resourceful and cunning, but has an incredibly strained relationship with the most mystic-inclined individuals. So her views are definitely warped in terms of who she looks up to. And it will be explored, but she also has very little mystic abilities. Her lack of communication with that side of society is part of what got her in this position in the first place.
💋 (kiss) - Is your oc a good kisser? Have they kissed anyone before? Do they even enjoy kissing? What was their first kiss like in comparison to their most recent?
At first, for the longest time, I had the urge to make Caiji very sexually experienced. She's rich, she's hot, she's powerful. But...she's also alone. She doesn't have the time nor vulnerability for that kind of thing, and she's only like 21? She's likely not kissed anyone, no, and her anxiety to do things perfectly and be knowledgeable ahead of time probably makes her a very nervous and awkward kisser. She would enjoy kissing. I won't be showing explicit sex in Butterfly Effect, I'll barely be showing kissing, but multiple characters do smash. And she's one of them
🐞 (ladybug) - What does a perfect day look like for your oc? What do they do? Who do they see?
This is the hardest question. Because it depends on where she's at in her development. Where the comic is now? Being able to sleep and have her family take care of everything for her, as they mostly do now. Having her..rivals dead or obedient. Being given a prophecy of prosperity and peace instead of what's to come
#HI LUCKY HI HI HI#YIPPEE#i want to give you guys a clue as to her parentage so badly but if i say anything more i fear ill give it away#gornack ask tag#i love her sm#i wanted to hint at which awful tag shes subjected to but thats too much of a spoiler...#well its kinda all of them maybe but the specifics#ive been listening to monster on repeat for a solid week#its SOOOO caiji its actually painful#i kinda wanna be asked which songs in the BE playlist go to which characters but its also mostly for me to write to#gornack ask game#theres technically two scariest moments but the one where she fears for her OWN life is very far away#butterfly effect au
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actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.
he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.
a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).
but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.
and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.
he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.
and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal
#i had a really big fundie snark phase a year or two ago so that's part of like. this. but im still not used to actually talking about#religious stuff so if it reads kinda awkwardly uhh forgive me orz idk#maybe it sounds dumb but i like that the message isn't 'religion is evil'. it easily could have been. but i think the show's points about#how fundie wasp culture in particular treats christianity and itself and others would be less poignant if they were like. and jesus sucks#btw >:] like. this feels more nuanced to me. i guess there's probably a way to maintain that nuance with an ultimately anti-christian#piece of media but i think it'd be like. wayy harder and it's difficult for me to imagine that bc i think a lot of it would bleed out into#the tone. + why focus on only These christians when They're All also bad? so you'd get jokes about them in general#and i think that's kinda less funny than orel and doughy screaming and running from catholics lsdkjfldksj#i think the specificity makes it more unique and compelling as comedy and as commentary. but that's just me#like moralton represents a very particular kind of christian community (namely a middle class fundie wasp nest)#you're not gonna be able to get in the weeds as much if you're laughing at/criticizing all christians. but they accomplish it so thoroughly#and WELL in morel and i think that's because it chose a smaller target it can get to dissect more intimately. anyway#moral orel#orel puppington#(OH also when i say wasp here i mean WASP the acronym. as in white anglo-saxon protestsant. in case the term's new to anyone <3)#maybe it's also relevant to say that i'm kindaaaaaaaa loosely vaguely nonspecifically christian. so there's my bias revealed#i was never raised like orel but i like to think i get some of what's going on in there y'know. in that big autistic head of his#but it's not like i can't handle anti-christian/anti-religious media/takes. i'm a big boy and also i v much get why it's out there yknow#christianity in specific has a lot of blood on its hands from its own members and from outsiders and people have a right to hate it for tha#but religion in all its forms can be positive and i appreciate the nuance. like i've said around 20 times. yeah :) <3#(<- fighting for my life to explain things even though my one job is to be the explainer)
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ok hi tumblr. thought. while i understand that technically yes people have all the freedom to assign clover a gender + pronouns based on personal headcanons… i dont really get WHY people do it
dont get me wrong im all for a little fun and for messing around with pronouns, but… isnt it more fun to let them keep the they/them?? whats the point of taking that away?
iiii dunno. i just think its strange lol
#undertale yellow#every time i see a he/him clover i take damage#its just…. theres nothing WRONG with it i guess but youre taking away their WHIMSY and FUN yknow???#theres no way in the world giving this kid he/him is more interesting than keeping the they. or maybe i just dont get it lol#its the same thing that happened to frisk when undertale first came out when ppl used to use she/her for them all the time#(and chara as well)#but at least nowadays i see less of it…. why is clover different lol#guys be honest. is it because its ‘easier’?#okay sorry hfkdjf ik the points im making dont make exact sense. i have a billion things i wanna say about this but no idea how to phrase em#also i should mention#i criticized he/him specifically because i see it more often#which kinda adds on to my point…. methinks some of you only use he/him because you think clover looks like a boy…. so its ‘easier’#rarhg. whaaatever goobye
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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chat i think this is why they say that social media is bad for people
#i usually get like 1 or 2 notes and this flood of them is kinda making me nervous#not to mention all like the sorta pointless negativity its generating#you know how people say its better to put positive stuff out in the world for transfems then to say fuck terfs??#thats kind of how i feel right now#i kind of wish i couldve had something else blow up like maybe my epic fursona or smth#or like fanart of this#i couldve redrawn it so people would know i was being silly#i mean not entirely i still think terfs r stupid#but like theyd know im not really trying to start a conversation on that one specifically#i would love to talk about like the subtle ways they prey on vulnerable people#and like drag them down into their self destructive worldviews with them#but that wasnt really what i was shooting for#maybe ill just draw cool vivian and mario hanging out and being pals or something#tumblr dot com is kind of stressing me out more than usual#okay well no its epic to say fuck terfs#but i dont want to focus *just* on that#ok rant over
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just wanted to let you know that your art changed something in my brain chemistry. i love how you design the bad kids, especially riz. it makes me love him even more 😭😭
thank u! fantasy high as a series banks a lot on heightening and exaggerations, and trying to work with that general sensibility while translating the designs into something I have fun drawing has been nice to do :]
#not art#its kinda funny to approach fh with like. a bg of shounen/gag manga? wild how much genres can differ when targeting the same demographic#tho I havent read shounen in a While lmao. the last series I picked up was uhhh tetsugaku letra#its very Gender even though I dont think it? aimed to be? it talks a Lot abt performance and failing social expectations#and I think if you wanna talk about stuff like that you kinda eventually stumble into Gender Stuff#well. to be fair the main character literally picks up and chooses to dance with a pair of women's flamenco shoes#so maybe I was just being pessimistic abt the series not aiming to talk abt transgenderism lmao#anyways I did also pick that up and then realized as I read it that wow. I have Fully outgrown this genre#which is fair bc I'm almost a decade out from being a teen. I have the privilege to grow up and get a bird eyes view of childhood#but yeah. its kinda fun to see how teen movie archetypes and shounen archetypes differ so much#and finding the thread of connection between all that#but very specifically abt riz. listen. listen I was a meitantei conan acolyte for Years (am now a hater lmao)#I have an unfortunate affinity for detectives. riz gukgak is a bullet with my name on it. laser targeted#and also this season he gets a pair of glasses which is one of the only objects I can fully draw from memory. u can probably notice#from how I draw them lmao#I think I have a sketch of his previous looks somewhere in here... I gotta look for that
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One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.
#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow#someone should kiss me#and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons#i love#im so drunk#i too drunk#i stated typing thos at 12:30#imma smoke pot after i post this#if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags#i need to stop drinking by myself#if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes?#at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself#im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this#trans thought time#i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true#like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option#but is it the right option?#i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny#cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny#this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise#america sucks#capitalism sucks#love is such a bullshit thing#how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou#like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong#maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist#i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally#12:51 and i have one more short tag to add#i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh#but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you
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Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )
#And Kouyou!!!!#Also. I can say Steinbeck is kinda 👀👀👀#King of the specific category of “I forget I like him until he's on screen”#I'm seriously unlocking memories with this rewatch. Like I haven't thought about it in two years–#but I just know when I was watching the anime for the first time I was being like#“Of COURSE the villains need to spend several minutes each episode explaining in detail how their own superpowers work so that the–#protagonists can get a perfect idea of how to best counter them. Why are villains made so freaking stupid in this show” aljhvwslchvqliyqwb#But. Eh. I guess that's just bsd to you.#Alsoooooo random thought of the day: I don't really favour how Tanizaki's ability was adapted in the anime.#I very well understand they were going for this green Matrix-like illusion effect‚ but every time someone says “... Snow?”#I'm like please explain where do you live that has snow glowing green.#Aamsjgvfaskjhfv sorry this is me being very. Cranky and nitpicky and having terrible audience etiquette in refusing to–#engage in suspension of disbelief. It just bugs me akvakcvqkyb I just feel like... Green is such a non-snow color–#that quite of completely disrupts the Light Snow / Sasame Yuki aesthetic. I would have liked it much better light blue or simply white.#What else. The way the Guild just goes on at stereotypes still troubles me a lot. The “usamericans can't be touched by laws–#because they use money to corrupt anyone” “foreign criminal organization come in our country to corrupt our pure and untouched soil”#Idk. Maybe all of it is true. Can it still be deemed a stereotype when it's objectively something that's happened before–#and will probably keep happening?#I suppose I'm just not a fan of the constant hostility against any foreigner. Idk.#This situation besides is extremely ironical. If you meet me irl it probably won't take long to see me being very outspoken about–#how much I despise usa cultural colonization of all other countries. It's something that really bothers me‚ how rooted and pervasive–#their influence is. So in a lot of ways I can relate to the author's sentiment#I just feel that. If you start treating them as stereotypes and ignore the complexity of a country and the wide spectrum of causes–#that contribute to its attitude in international relations. You end up practicing precisely what you're trying to criticize.#Okay this is the last time I'm getting into the politics of the Guild arc lol#random rambles#This time I took watching the episode slow I feel a little late
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*walking with a friend and a guy my friends befriended (he seems okay? weird humour but cool ig) talking abt falling out of windows*
me: there's actually a word for throwing someone out of a window in english. defenestration
guy, quite weirded out (i think from his voice, his face is like. he's literally twice as tall as me i ain't looking that far up): why? do you just know that??
me: .... Reasons. (chronically on tumblr and weirdly informed abt strange topics)
#a biscuit's rambles#hes not yet desentisised to me saying random weird ass shit ranging from mildly concerning to 'what kind of illegal sites are you on'#and its soooooo funny#i randomly offered them sugar and he looked So wonderfully confused (i am known for randomly handing out sugar packets among my friends)#thus started a contest (well its been 2 days so far) of carries the most random shit in their pockets#so far im winning with my embroidery thread and tealight (which i did not pocket specifically to have something weird in my pocket)#its very funny. its absolutely hilarious. he has no idea what im like and is so utterly unprepared#maybe i do like him (was unsure up until uhhh yesterday when we first properly talked)#(idk he has a sense of humour i kinda. Do Not Like and ive no idea where he came from so i was like. i dont personally need to get to know#him. like good for my friends buuuut. also hes like 2m tall that is freaky as fuck. BUt he seems a chill dude so maybeeeee)#(first impressions and all of that jazz. u dont gotta like everyone. but u might. lmao)#no but for real if im standing anywhere close to him i literally have to tilt my head back as far as can go to look at his face. its weird#no hate to him or tall people i just come from a long line of small people and moderately sized friends this seems Wrong lmao
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More humans!
#my little pony#mlp#mlpfim#equestria girls#edit#my edits#screenshot edit#applejack#fluttershy#big macintosh#it is sooo hard to make AJ have a skin tone that isnt too orange but also not too.. lifeless looking.#they all kinda look desaturated IM SORRY OK its really hard to give them normal skin colors#also i didnt know what race to make fluttershy TBH i see her as hijabi at lot and like thats cool.. i just dont hc her as any specific race#well for some reason when i was younger i hc'd her as jewish so maybe thats an idea. sure. shes jewish#if i cared enough to edit their hair texture and clothing i'd give her a star of david necklace and aj curls
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god i really want to get back into making cosplay/costume stuff but everything sounds overwhelming i dont even know how to articulate why its just. i havent actually done it very much and its hard
i usually get my mom to help me figure out how to do this stuff but its like. she has a full time job and even less of a clue than i do at making this kind of stuff. (other than sewing which she has mostly just made clothes)
id love to try to figure out how to do this stuff on my own or maybe find some people to actually help or at least to takl about it with or SOMETTHING but theres like. not really a community locally and im betting that even if there were regular meetups id do a horrible job of actually showing up if it wasnt something mandatory like school
i feel like im always overestimating how much i can do and how well i can do it and so even when i make something cool its still sorta frustrating.. and mostly its just so much work and then i get relatively little use out of it too
i dunno i have several projects i still need to finish and many many more that ive never started. lol. but i still feel like maybe it would be cool to try to do something. i feel like i want to make some dragonish type thing like horns or tail or something but i feel like i dont know where to start. maybe horns would be more doable cause tail seems like it would need a whole fuckin thing underneath to stay on, and apparently people just use headbands for horns? ive only ever made small forehead horns but big ones would be cool maybe but they seem difficult to balance and have them stay on
sorry this is probably hard to read but i just need to type this shit out somehwere to actually think about it i guess. screaming into the void or whatever with the small chance that someone might actually see it and maybe be able to offer some advice i dunno.
i know theres templates online for some of this stuff but it would be nice to be able to figure it out myself too. to be able to make stuff in more specific and different shapes and stuff
#just feeling really frustrated about random shit and i think trying to do something like this might be fun and maybe help a bit#but at the moment all its doing is making me more frustrated#its like i can picture some of the steps but mostly its just like. start -> ???? -> end steps -> finish -> fun#and thats Not Helpful#and all the videos i can find are just like. here print out this specific template and fucking. glue it together or whatever#and im like thanks i kinda figured thats how you would use a template but i kinda wanted to make my own#bleh blech idk i deserve a tail and horns and wings. optionally when it would be fun and when they would not get in the way#ooo also fangs and claws#technically i have some vampire fang caps but they dont fit very well and they make me feel like im wearing really itchy dentures#i need to refit them again sometime maybe#also i really should redo my nail polish. that might be good#something something visual of having claws without them actually getting in my way#anyway.
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grinds teeth. i am alone and dismissed
#im fine tho . i just have to work on my essay due in half an hour#but ive given up on it being on time so its kinda whatever?#but yknow. as soon as possible would be nice#and i have been left by myself which is both good and bad#and then while voicing my concerns told well maybe just work on it#wow yes i think just saying that over and over even when im just trying to make myself feel better is very helpful thank you#like i know theres nothing you can do specifically like im not expecting anything from you#but thanks for just continuously ignoring me and repeating the same thing thats really fucking helping#in fact thats for ignoring me for like the past couple of weeks#whenever i try to reach out just because i miss my friends and like talking to them im just ignored#and i get it we were all stressed and busy#but would it kill anyone to try? at all?#when someone has an issue im there instantly no matter whats going on with me#like when i sat on a call for hours instead of the work i was planning on doing#but esp recently that same decency is not extended to me even if i just want to talk about something just silly or whatever#so no this isnt about your fucking sucky work ethic or whatever this is about being a goddamn friend#but its fine#ill see you this summer i guess#npc don’t look#<- not abt him#tbey.quote
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