#and all the videos i can find are just like. here print out this specific template and fucking. glue it together or whatever

[callia-evergreen]

god i really want to get back into making cosplay/costume stuff but everything sounds overwhelming i dont even know how to articulate why its just. i havent actually done it very much and its hard

i usually get my mom to help me figure out how to do this stuff but its like. she has a full time job and even less of a clue than i do at making this kind of stuff. (other than sewing which she has mostly just made clothes)

id love to try to figure out how to do this stuff on my own or maybe find some people to actually help or at least to takl about it with or SOMETTHING but theres like. not really a community locally and im betting that even if there were regular meetups id do a horrible job of actually showing up if it wasnt something mandatory like school

i feel like im always overestimating how much i can do and how well i can do it and so even when i make something cool its still sorta frustrating.. and mostly its just so much work and then i get relatively little use out of it too

i dunno i have several projects i still need to finish and many many more that ive never started. lol. but i still feel like maybe it would be cool to try to do something. i feel like i want to make some dragonish type thing like horns or tail or something but i feel like i dont know where to start. maybe horns would be more doable cause tail seems like it would need a whole fuckin thing underneath to stay on, and apparently people just use headbands for horns? ive only ever made small forehead horns but big ones would be cool maybe but they seem difficult to balance and have them stay on

sorry this is probably hard to read but i just need to type this shit out somehwere to actually think about it i guess. screaming into the void or whatever with the small chance that someone might actually see it and maybe be able to offer some advice i dunno.

i know theres templates online for some of this stuff but it would be nice to be able to figure it out myself too. to be able to make stuff in more specific and different shapes and stuff

[clovers-housetree]

Activities for Regressors Without Caregivers! (or just fun regression activties!)

(Although you're always welcome here if you'd like any form of comfort anyway! ^w^)

This one's kind of a long one, after the few tips I list, I've mentioned an app I use called Finch, which will be talked about below the cut.

Since that's the case, I'll put my little ending message here instead:

Knowing how to take care of yourself can take a lot of work and practice, but I believe it's worth the effort, because then you'll be a happier and healthier you! Especially if you can find ways to make it fun!

I'm more than happy to be here for you and offer my support in any way I can, anyhow! I'm proud of you for doing what you can, I know it can be very hard.

I myself don't have a caregiver for when I regress, so most of the time I end up taking care of myself! Here are some fun activities and things I do when I regress to keep myself calm and happy! ^w^

Paci mentions/pics not long after the first section for those of you who'd rather not see 'em.

♥ Arts and crafts! I absolutely LOVE coloring and making bracelets with beads, something not too complicated for little hands, but also something fun!

With coloring, you can buy coloring books, or draw something of your own to color in- even printing out a page you find online, coloring digitally, or tracing over something to color in could work! I prefer coloring more than drawing personally because I don't draw all the time, but I bet I could learn a little thing or two from the artists around here!

For bracelets (and other jewelry), strings can be hard to knot with little hands (at least they aren't those small, slippery clasps!!), but the beads shouldn't be too hard to handle if you're careful! Even just planning out patterns is fun!

Here are some My Little Pony bracelets I made, and the decorations I did for my pacis!

♥ Making playlists! Dancing is fun, and a good way to get the zoomies out, but you can just make playlists for any occasion! I have playlists that help me pet-regress, songs with sounds I like, adventure playlists... (Well- a lot of these are still in progress, but- you get the point!)

I also love those playlist videos on YouTube! Animal Crossing, Super Mario Galaxy, Minecraft and music box music are typically my go-to to help me settle or just make for comfy background music! Here's one of my favorites, shadowatnoon has lovely Nintendo music mixes!

♥ Playing with your plushies! You can take them on adventures, or make your own!

Like Toby, climbing The Great Pillow Mountain!

(This is Toby by the way, he's one of my best friends and a VERY good hugger!)

You can play games with them, too! Toby's REALLY good at hide and seek... Maybe you can find him for me? :0

♥ Finding shows to watch! I really like Paw Patrol and Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the moment. Plus, you can look at agere content and fics from shows you like! People make really cool stimboards and moodboards, for example, and I like reading through all the fun stories people write!

Here's a silly picture of Rocky I found! :3

Finch

Finch is a self-care app where you take care of your very own little bird friend by taking care of yourself!

You can set daily goals, or for each day (or more specific ones as well I think.). By completing these goals, you give your bird energy to go on adventures! They usually come back with a funny little story or silly questions, because they're learning, too!

Through completing these goals (or daily, at least), you can get Rainbow Stones, which you can use to buy clothes for your bird, make them different colors, or give them furniture for their house!

They're also LGBTQ+ and disability-friendly!! :3

This is my little bird, Honeydew! You're welcome to friend me as well if you'd like, my code is: Z3E2T7VRK6

It's helped me learn a lot about taking care of myself and keeping track of my goals, and I get little rewards for it! I've used the app for several months now, and it's helped me out a lot!

"Fluttershy protects this blog! SFW interaction only, please and thank you! ^w^"

"Wouldn't show a kid? Doesn't belong here!"

[lovingseventeen]

matchy-matchy with seventeen

a/n: me in my single era pt 2093520395 and here’s me projecting just a little bit yk. also i tried really hard to make these creative i hope it went well

seungcheol: jackets

✧ specifically varsity jackets or those racing jackets

✧ maybe not exactly the same, maybe it’s the same style of jacket but in different, but complementary colors

✧ absolutely loves knowing that it’s so easy to tell that the two of you are a couple when you walk together

✧ his lock screen is a mirror picture of the two of you :’)

jeonghan: hair accessories

✧ matching hair accessories oh myyy

✧ it could be in simple barrettes or clips with little cutesy designs

✧ or ribbons !!

✧ one day he sees you tie back half of your hair (like a semi-updo) and he just asks you, “can you do that to me too?”

✧ you two can be dainty together 🫶🏽

joshua: rings

✧ perhaps he’s a simple romantic

✧ rings can go with any outfit and he wants a reminder with you everywhere he goes

✧ loves seeing his ring on his finger in all of his daily activities

✧ also loves to hold your hand to look at the ring on your finger only to follow with a soft kiss to the back of your hand too

jun: earrings

✧ maybe he’s a little more subtle with it

✧ but he finds earrings as an easy way to be connected with you, knowing you have the same pair

✧ all that matters to him is that it’s something that the two of you know about - and maybe others if they’re paying attention

hoshi: tiger phone cases

✧ ofc you support his tiger agenda and one day he just surprises you with matching tiger print phone cases

✧ falls a little more in love with you when you don’t hesitate to swap your current case with it LOL

✧ loves taking mirror selfies where you can see your cases and as the two of you make the tiger claw hand gesture

✧ if you’re with literally anyone else together, he’ll just grab both of your phones to go “look!”

wonwoo: headphones

✧ thought of this because he games but headphones are also pretty necessary in general

✧ you each pick sticker packs and you place some stickers on your own pair

✧ then you swap headphones and fill up the rest of the negative space of each other’s :’)

woozi: pajamas

✧ he’s someone who’s also very lowkey methinks

✧ he doesn’t feel the need to flaunt his relationship too much, or go out on his rest days either

✧ he likes the moments you have just between the two of you and pajamas are a cute way to still have that

✧ whether you’re cuddling on the couch or just walking around the house, his heart is content seeing your matching home outfits

seokmin: shoes

✧ just felt like this would be soooo cute with him

✧ it gives you both freedom with your outfits and individual styles but anyone looking at you two together would know that you’re dating

✧ he love love loves taking those pictures of your matching shoes

✧ maybe he even takes a short video for his story and you can tell he’s happy in it because he can’t stop his feet from doing a little dancey dance

mingyu: hoodies

✧ adores seeing the two of you matching so obviously in the reflection of windows, mirrors, etc. when the two of you are out

✧ takes so so many pictures of you two

✧ you definitely have more than one matching hoodie

✧ will fall in love with you more if matching couple clothes was your idea first LOL

minghao: nails

✧ i had to, i HAD TO, just imagine the two of you with the prettiest hands ever

✧ maybe he lets you pick a color first and then he’ll pick a second to complement it aaa

✧ and even if you aren’t too much of a nail person, maybe you just get one nail painted with a little image or design to match the color scheme of his

✧ also imagine the intimacy of painting each other’s nails and he’s holding your hand close to his face and blowing on your nails to dry them

seungkwan: bracelets

✧ the two of you make your matching bracelets at one of those shops meant for dates

✧ i just know he would try so hard !! to make yours so pretty

✧ his heart ACHES when you find these 2 bear charms to represent the two of you (so you can have a little bear of each other)

✧ “this one’s me and this one’s you, don’t you think?”

vernon: beanies

✧ he’s always giving you his beanies when it’s cold out anyway

✧ then on this day he’s shopping and he can’t pick between 2 options (they’re both the same 2 colors but in different combinations)

✧ vernon just gets both and lets you pick the one you like more

✧ he knows you’ll look good in either one :)

chan: crewneck/hoodie-sweatpants-set

✧ this is various things but here me out, he’s a dancer and he probably has a good amount of athleisure

✧ sometimes you visit him during his solo dance practices and he likes to try to convince you to dance with him

✧ one day you stopped by without the intention to dance and he just casually pulls out the set for you that coincidentally matched with his

✧ he’s so giddy when you change. so so many recordings of you dancing together (regardless of how coordinated the two of you actually are) and mirror selfies to capture your outfits

[solacescastleglow]

Personal Favourite Life Hacks

As an ADHD haver with several additional memory issues, I've had to set up my life in such a way that it's basically impossible to not do important things. Here are some of those things. By the way, you have my full permission to use these even if you have no "reason" to need them, I'm not here to gatekeep.

Only books stay on/around the bed overnight, so when I wake up I don't go straight on my phone

Snoozing my wake up alarm thrice to measure half an hour after waking up (which is when I can use screens)

Using that half hour to get my reading in

Charging my devices under my yoga mat so I have to exercise before using them

Eating the same (healthy) thing for breakfast every morning so there's no need to think about it

Putting medication on top of the chai canister so there's no forgetting it

Lazy ginger shot: 1 heaped teaspoon of ginger out of the jar, a big squirt of bottled lemon juice, a little bit of honey or whatever you prefer, a good amount of turmeric, a tiny spoon of salt, and a couple of cracks of black pepper. Measure with your heart, combine into a shot glass, and follow it up with water to get the ginger fibres out of your mouth. Takes like 2 minutes, basically free if you already use these for cooking, and works the same as any other ginger shot except maybe better because it has more fibre and electrolytes.

Linen as a first layer, especially in summer

Using an app like Acloset so I don't have to empty my entire wardrobe every time I want to choose an outfit

Outfit repeating (shhhh it's fine I promise)

Don't put it down, put it away. Don't put it down, put it away. DON'T PUT IT DOWN, PUT IT AWAY. If you're holding something, never put it on a random surface, that's where things go to die.

Tiny rubbish bins wherever you hang out

Cleaning kit full of all the stuff I need to clean so when the mood strikes me, I'm not wasting precious motivation finding supplies

Time blocking

A container at the top of the stairs and at the bottom for things that go on the other floor AND as soon as something's put in it I move it to a super impossible to ignore place (like in the middle of the 5th step)

Putting on a song and seeing how much of an area I can clean before the song ends (for a bigger area put your laundry on and see how much you can get done before it's finished)

Putting my themed moodboards for each part of my life in the place I need to see them

Watching something themed around the topic I'm studying while I wait for my Ritalin to kick in so I'm in the mood to interact with that topic (if you don't take ADHD medication I'd recommend you do this anyway, it makes you so much more productive and it's more enjoyable)

Listening to lectures at 1.75 speed with the transcript printed out in front of me so I can highlight and take notes

Supercook is a free website where you put down everything you have in your kitchen and it'll tell you what to make with what you have - keep it updated and you're fine

Having a list of about 30 easy dinners so I can just pick some for the week ahead, then copy-paste the ingredients and cross reference with my inventory on Supercook to make a grocery list

Doing my groceries online, more specifically adding things to the cart whenever I run out of them instead of trying to remember what I'm missing all at once

ELECTRIC PRESSURE COOKER I love this thing so much it's unreal

Having a scented candle and mood lighting that means it's time to shower

Watching videos in the shower, even if I can't hear them

After washing my hair and using leave in, I put it up in a T shirt so it doesn't get all over my face when I'm washing my body

Shower chair in case I get tired, bored, dizzy, or need to put my leg up to wash it

I don't like flipping between pages when journalling so having only a year in pixels page to fill out (+ my time blocking notebook but that's another thing)

Electric toothbrush with a timer, water flosser, my whole toothbrushing thing is as streamlined as possible because I hate doing it

Somatic dance before bed to tire me out and destress from the day at the same time - I've noticed it takes me way less time to get to sleep when I do this

[deepdreamnights]

Using Vidu to Make Character Turnarounds

Disclosure: I am in the Vidu Artist Program.

Having (at the very least) front and back reference greatly improves the quality of character image prompting. And very often, one finds that they were lazy and only got a couple of bits of character reference. Or they have tons of it in the wrong art style.

A character like Wally Manmoth requires some good reference to work right.

Now, it's not that hard to prompt up something that matches close enough and then modifying the stuff manually until it works, such as I did with TriceraBruce and DeinoSteve:

You can tell Steve's the bad boy because he's got a cool rip in the back of his jacket.

But for Wally, I decided to try out Vidu as a means of getting turnaround frames.

So I loaded Wally's front-view pic (above) into the image-to-video feature, and prompted with:

vintage traditional animation scene (1985) humanoid mammoth/furry elephant wearing a red hawaiian shirt and blue shorts, by filmation and sunbow productions, 90s colors, friendly on green background, streamlined black line art with cel shaded vintage cartoon color, official media, character design fullbody shot on green background. The mammoth-anthro starts facing the camera, turning around to face away from the viewer, providing a view of his back.

I gave it two shots at the 720x quality setting (12 points per, total of 24), and got:

Huh. Weird it happened twice, etc.

This demonstrates both that the tech is viable for this use, and the reason you'd want to have that multi-view reference. The robot clearly assumes that a luau shirt would have a large print on the back, whereas wally's is a more basic print. That's ultra easy to fix, though.

I started by exporting the last frame of each (or close to it, picking the one that looks cleanest)

While its image editing features and often touch-and-go, one thing the Midjourney edit feature has going for it is it's utility as an upscaler. You load the image in, make your tweaks (just a little bit of background if you're just upscaling) and then upscale and at the very least you have 2048x2048 worth of resolution.

I used the midjourney edit process, that got those two images to the following state, as a test.

The results are good, but getting the large trees to erase-and-replace out took several attempts, and just doing it in photoshop then using the editor to upscale would have been faster.

This is why we do tests.

I went with the slightly-at-an-angle one for the main reference sheet. I'll be keeping the straight-on-back-shot in case it winds up being useful for specific scenes down the line.

In photoshop, I touched up the shirt print, made sure the colors where consistent, and simplified the hair coloration to something more period-plausible.

No more giant trees on the back! On the other hand, I think the feet sprouting toes on the heel is going to be something I'll be fixing frame-by-frame until there's another revision.

Human characters will induce these issues less often. I just stick with my genre of choice.

Midjourney was not cooperating with TyrannoMax (it really doesn't like giving him the proportions I like, preferring to make him a weird big-head salamander), so I went the same direction, resulting in this stage 1 front/back:

Only Midjourney refused to work with it, at all. Declaring everything that came out of it too lewd for its internal censor. Apparently, this hunky relative of cheesasaurus rex is too sexy for general consumption. Nevermind that it's a cartoon lizard in a shade tangello orange.

The workaround is too dumb for words.

Slam the hue slider until it's off anything that could be perceived as a human skintone.

Then make the modifications. Here I had to rework the leg several times, and do a lot of tweaking to remove-overinking. Then I popped it back out, droped it back into lineart, re-colored it, and and composited it back together:

And voila, a front and back for Max. I shortened his tail, as the longer tails have been causing problems with confusing the image prompting systems. The armor skirt has scallops to accommodate the tail, which looked better more consistently than the flaps folding around the tail.

The results are, thus far, encouraging.

Of course, if the back of your character has any unexpected details, you're going to have to add those in after the fact or include them in the prompting, and you're going to be making a lot of edits regardless (as you should).

Oh, and Max has a sword now.

A blade of amber crystal with a fossilized femur grip and a faceted dino-eye that should be far enough away from the Eye of Thundera for safety. A roleplay-toy friendly trademark weapon, usually a sword, was a must-have for 80s action-adventure lines despite the fact that you'd never see it used on anything that wasn't a robot, living statue, or skeleton.

Thus the sword's gimmick is it cleaves through non-living matter with ease but anything BS&P doesn't want subjected to a stabbin's is encased in amber crystal: locked in place if partially encased, put into suspended animation if fully encased. A nice, nonlethal use for a magic sword.

It's proportioned like a gladius, but is generally interpreted as larger, approaching a broadsword, in keeping with the generally ridiculous blade sizes of kidvid fantasy. They're just more fun when they're stupidly huge.

Is "Sword of Eons" too on the nose?

[ddejavvu]

mei!! congrats on 20k!! 'i just don't want anyone to know i've fallen for you.' - send me a request for a baby blurb! give me a character, and a plotline, and i'll write you a little fanfiction :) bradley bradshaw being so starstruck of his newborn caroline :)) him always staring at the baby being all :]] and every time she cries he stops whatever he drops and stops whatever he's doing immediately and be all D: and him being such a good house husband taking care of his wife after giving birth

join my 20K celebration!

'i just don't want anyone to know i've fallen for you.' - send me a request for a baby blurb! give me a character, and a plotline, and i'll write you a little fanfiction :)

--

Bradley isn't easily broken away from Guys' Night. This week it's online, over headsets while he stations himself in front of the television with a controller in his hand. He's not the biggest fan of video games, but Hangman's challenged him, so he has to be the best.

You're happy to let him have time to himself, because it isn't easy to get that with a newborn baby. Bradley's gone above and beyond what you'd ever expected of him, volunteering for every feeding and scooping little Caroline up each time she cries. He'll always hand her over to you if you ask, but he's stuck to her like a magnet, so you're happy that he's getting a break to do something a little more fun than washing dirty onesies.

You're putting her in a fresh one now, the soiled one in the laundry pile. She doesn't like that she's not being coddled, already spoiled by her dad's insistence on holding her, and she starts to fuss while you're picking out her new outfit.

"Honey, it's okay," You croon, your wrist bent at an awkward angle as you rifle through a drawer of her onesies. You're looking for a specific print, but if she doesn't calm, you might have to go with the first one you can grab.

"It's alright," You promise her, watching her little face screw up, "No, honey, no tears, c'mon. You're okay, Mommy's here, you're-"

"Honey?" Bradley makes a rather unexpected appearance, headset still over his ears and mic angled downwards as he surveys the situation. Apparently he's heard her cries, and come running like a puppy on a leash.

"She's okay, Brad." You promise, finally finding the soft texture of the onesie you're searching for and dragging it out of the drawer, "Just fussy. You can go back to your game, sorry she scared you."

"S'okay," He shakes his head, taking the headset off and discarding it haphazardly on the dresser as he crosses the room to pick her up, "Daddy missed you, y'know? Holding a video game controller is so much worse than holding a baby. 'Specially when she's so cute," He gushes, leaning down to rub his nose to hers, which soothes her cries in an instant, "Huh, angel? Cutest baby in the world."

"That makes sense, though," Bradley hums, cradling her to his chest and angling his body towards you so that she looks the same way, "'Cause your mama's so beautiful, doesn't surprise me you are, too. Yeah," He sends you a dopey grin, turning back to Caroline to kiss her forehead, unphased as she drags a fistful of his shirt into her mouth. You hear a faint slew of sounds coming from Bradley's headset, and you reach for it, tentatively holding one of the pads to your ear. You're worried about what you might hear, considering all you've heard about video game talk among men, but all that greets you is whiny grown men.

"-fair! Rooster just gets to dip whenever he's dying, and go hold a baby?"

"I'd ditch this round, too, if I were him," Hangman drawls, "He knew he couldn't catch up with me."

"I dunno, Hangman. I'd rather go see my gorgeous wife and kid than beat your score," Payback quips, and you let out a fond chuckle for the man.

"Thanks, Reuben," You hum into the mic, and Bradley shares an amused grin with you over their antics.

"Hey, there she is! How's the baby?" Fanboy pipes up, and you wish you could show him her sleepy little face as she curls into Bradley's embrace.

"She's good! She's tired," You laugh, "Bradley might be occupied for a little while longer."

"All good," Javy promises, and you can hear the adoring grin in his voice, "And how's the mama?"

"I'm tired, too," You laugh, "Maybe I'll leave Caroline with Bradley and go take a nap myself."

"Go ahead, baby," Bradley nods, speaking at a low enough level that it doesn't bother Caroline where she's beginning to doze off on his chest, "I'll put the port-a-crib in the living room, 'n watch over her while I play. I'm sure she'll nap for a bit, she's probably tired since she missed her 10 o'clock nap."

"You sure?" You raise a concerned brow, "I was just teasing, Brad, I can take her."

"I'm sure," He waves off your worry, "Go nap, honey, you deserve it. I can handle her, I promise."

"I know you can," You smile at his insistence, "I just don't want to mess up Guys' Night."

"No, she could never mess it up," Bradley kisses Caroline's smooth forehead, "She'll just make it better, baby. I'll teach her to play."

"She'll eat your controller," You giggle, passing Bradley's headset back over to him and kissing your sleepy baby's chubby cheek, "Be good for Dada, okay? And go easy on Hangman, jellybean, I don't think he can handle being beaten by a baby."

[t-a-a-1]

The Darkest Hour

(TFP Optimus x Female Reader)

Summary:

After being labeled as crazy for trying to report that robot aliens exist on national television, you lose your job and move to Jasper City. In a drastic turn of fate, you meet Optimus Prime. You and Team Prime get together to find ancient relics that are vital to the Autobot's cause.

Along the way, you and Optimus start to develop feelings that go beyond comradeship.

But what happens when he discovers you've been lying all of this time?

……..

This story is a slow burn. Eventual smut. Optimus develops an unhealthy attachment (he is smitten, obsessed) to you but nothing OOC. Lots of yearning, craving, hurt, betrayal, erotic and that good stuff. Ok bye. In case of any questions, comments, concerns, suggestions, requests, etc, you may message me here. Thank you for reading! For A better reading experience you may read this story on Ao3.

>>> https://archiveofourown.org/works/60642838/chapters/154846393

Ch.1: The Crossroads Of Destiny

"During times of war, there is no good or bad. Everyone is a victim and an abuser. But it's good to remember that the best thing a person can do is to be kind and show mercy to the enemy."

Everyone needs a pep talk once in a while. Even Optimus Prime.

After the death of Cliffjumper, there wasn't much morale going around in the base. Just a very uncomfortable quietness. It was like an unspeakable agreement between Team Prime to never really speak of their feelings. Whether it had become customary to lose the ones they cared about, they didn't see the point.

It's a war after all.

"It takes one act of kindness to change people's hearts and everyone has the ability to change. Together we can transform this hateful world into one of peace."

Nonetheless, he found comfort in the small things. He wasn't fond of human entertainment but he deemed it necessary to learn the current happenings of the world. That was the main reason he installed a TV in his private quarters. With all the main news channels. He wasn't surprised to see robberies, murders, abuse and the constant wars. He was too familiar with it all.

But one day as he passed by one of the channels he found something, or rather someone who caught his attention.

"I believe anyone can be a hero."

The reporter always had something good to say. Just like him, this individual has been through countless wars and witnessed many misfortunes. Optimus knew this because he would never miss the news just to watch this specific reporter. Or if he did, he made sure to record it so he could watch it later. This human had somehow become a small hope for him. Encouraging words when he needed it the most.

"But the world will always need a true leader in the darkest hour."

And Primus knows he needs it.

.

.

.

"Reporting to you live, (Reader), CNF News."

You should have stopped being so biased and giving your opinion on everything when your boss first told you to.

You hated watching your old reports but you needed to see what was so wrong with them for CNF to fire you. Now you can see why.

Hero? Hope? Peace? Love?

You were young and stupid to believe in all of that. You had grown now and after seeing so much malice in this world, your opinion had completely changed.

Now you were in Jasper City. Not so much of a city more like a town. With its small population, they had a local news station that was willing to give you a job.

"I have insiders in the government telling me that aliens are real! I even have footage and locations where they have appeared!"

That was one of the few things you told your boss before he fired you. Of course, it wasn't just that. Your ticket out was trying to report your findings live on national television, with video, graphics and all. Of course, the station cut you off the broadcast the moment you started to sound like crazy.

But it was enough to ban you from all major broadcasting companies. Not even print media would accept you. Not the New York Times, not The Wall Street Journal, not even lifestyle magazines wanted you.

You had so much information to share. Like how you were able to track down locations that lead to items of alien origin. You didn't know what the items were for but by investigating ancient legends, you assumed that they were important.

"So, (Y/N), what are you going to be reporting on?"

Your new boss came into your small office. Not really an office but rather a desk that you shared with the other ten people.

"I've been investigating and on a few forums, it says that this town has a government base not too far from here," you typed in your laptop and quickly flipped it to show your boss various pictures. "Apparently, the base is used for weaponry manufacturing and other .... Illicit activities."

"Look, when we hired you, we didn't need a crazy alien believer," he put a hand on his eyes and moved it down his face, clearly frustrated. "We just needed someone who met deadlines."

"But isn't our job as journalists to bring the truth to the people? Don't you want to know where your taxes are going?"

"Look, this is Jasper City, the most interesting thing that has ever happened here is a pig that gave birth to another pig with two heads," he pointed to the wall and you followed it with your eyes. It was indeed, a newspaper cut out of the birth of a mutated pig.

"There is a new coffee shop opening tomorrow, why don't you report on that instead?"

"But, Mr. Jones-"

"Coffee shop. Tomorrow," he said in a commanding tone. "And upload the package on the rundown before midnight."

.

.

.

You pulled out a lighter and started smoking a cigarette on the outside of a bar. You were planning on coming down from your car and drinking a beer. However, after careful consideration, you didn't want to deal with strangers. You didn't want any 'Are you new to town? Haven't seen you around."

You knew that would happen, after all, you came from a small city before moving to New York to be a reporter. Now you are back to a smaller town you weren't even familiar with.

You had gone to the coffee shop opening and turned in your report before the deadline.

From reporting on corruption, war and crimes ... you went to reporting ... whatever this was.

You looked outside your car and noticed a military vehicle parked in front of you. Two guys in uniform come out of it, stretching their arms and yawning.

"Do you think it's safe for us to let that box unguarded?"

"Yeah, it's just some papers. Nothing to worry about. We are close to base anyways, we deserve a beer for our hard work."

One of them carelessly put the truck's keys in his back pocket and as you expected, it fell to the ground.

"Old job, here I come."

You were in the back of the truck, looking at the documents that weren't too impressive. It was stuff you already knew. Alien artifacts were located in different parts of the world. Nothing new. Still, you decided to take pictures of it with your phone. You needed more time to read them, maybe they contained something you didn't know.

Nonetheless, you knew that wherever these documents were heading was going to be more interesting. So you decided to leave the truck keys in the front seat with the hope that the men wouldn't even question how they got there.

You were right. It was too easy to predict men.

You were heading to somewhere unknown, miles away from your new home and somehow it felt more liberating. Could you be killed by the government for doing this? Probably. But then again you've survived worse and you have nothing left to lose.

You hid and didn't make any sound. It's probably been around two hours of driving.

Everything was going smoothly.

Until the truck came to a complete stop. You almost hit your head as you lost balance.

Then, the vehicle moved uncontrollably as you heard the sound of a missile impacting it. You recognized the sound, you'd heard it before. Countless times while reporting the wars.

You did not only hit your head but other parts of your body as the truck rolled multiple times through the dry desert.

You were dizzy but still managed to hold onto the box. You saw the two soldiers come out of the truck, holding guns. Next, you heard shots.

You heard heavy steps. The type that made the ground tremble.

You came out of the truck, not caring anymore if the military men saw you. Curiosity was always your weakness and you needed to know what made a five-ton truck flip like a coin.

You held into the box like your life depended on it. Stepping into the fuel that was leaking from the truck. You saw the soldiers, helplessly shoot bullets to that thing.

A thing.

That's the best way you could describe it.

Made of metal. 20 ... No, 30 feet tall. Robot. Silver and grey. Red. Sharp ends. With missiles and guns at its disposal.

You stared at it with awe. It was good to know that you weren't crazy, that you were right. On the other hand, you don't know if you will live long enough to tell the world about it.

The enormous metal creature pointed at you with one of its missiles.

"You, give me that box."

It spoke.

You knew that aliens must have their ways of communication but speaking perfect English was something you didn't imagine.

"I won't ask again ... Give me that box."

He wanted the documents. You didn't know why nor wanted to find out. It didn't take much for you to realize that you indeed had important information. So much that an alien came looking for it. But your body didn't respond. It was your first time seeing something out of this world. In the dark night and the starry sky of Nevada, you suddenly felt so little. So insignificant and the realization made your body unable to move.

Then, there was light.

That of metal clashing. Of the little chemical reaction when two metals collide.

Another creature. Bigger and taller. Stronger. Red and blue and silver.  Punching in the face the creature that was threatening you. They engaged in a battle too fierce to be in front of.

Your attention was drawn towards the men who lay on the floor unconscious. The soldiers must have been knocked out during the intrication. Dropping the box, you ran towards them as the two creatures fought against each other.

You thought your ears would explode from each impact, from each crash. You checked their pulses, they were breathing, but you knew you were too weak to move them, especially with uniforms on.

"Give me that box."

You ran towards the box, falling in the way as the ground trembled. You have to think fast. Two titanic robots, fighting. The first one spoke to you, demanding the box. The second one came in to fight.

Who was good? Who was bad? You weren't sure. You only knew one thing.

This box was important. It's content at least. You weren't a hero but you knew this was bigger than you. Maybe the information gave the robots a way to conquer the Earth. Regardless, you couldn't afford to think about it too much.

The box was made out of carton. For such an important thing, it sure wasn't guarded safely. But this was the United States Government, you didn't expect much. It was already covered with fuel from the leaking truck.

People say smoking cigs is bad. Well, at least you always carry a lighter with you.

The aliens keep fighting. You thought of them as aliens because you couldn't describe them better than that. They weren't green and skinny, nothing like you imagined. They were more like giant robot aliens. Aliens that had guns and that each bullet was so loud that you felt your entire body shake within.

You dropped the lighter on top of the box and it immediately caught on fire. You ran as fast as you could away from it, as you knew that the fuel would travel to its place of origin, the truck.

The truck explodes, and you use your body to cover the bodies of the still-unconscious men.

"NO!"

You hear one of the creatures scream. Both creatures had their attention on the truck on fire. However, the silver one took a step back and in a blink of an eye, he transformed into a jet. It flew away and it went away just as fast.

You couldn't even afford the time to be in shock.

The red and blue creature slowly came towards you. It kneels in front of you and its face is covered by what you consider to be a battle mask but somehow, it made it disappear. Its face moves closer and closer, observing you, moving in ways that are not human. Yet, you didn't feel threatened, it's as if it was amused with your presence.

Suddenly, you hear whimpering and grunts of pain. One of the soldiers was waking up.

"Did ... Did we win?"

.

.

.

"She wants to talk to you, Prime."

It wasn't like Optimus was waiting around because he didn't trust Agent Fowler's procedures. It was mostly because Ratchet was having difficulty opening up the groundbridge again.

"She's actually a very prestigious reporter ... before she started ranting about aliens, I mean she was right, but you know what I mean."

The whole area was guarded in a 100-meter diameter, not another human would enter without Fowler knowing. A few helicopters had arrived at the battle scene, fastly constructing tents. One is for the medics to treat the injured soldiers, and the other is for you, for a questionnaire. Everything was quickly contained.

"Why don't you take her for a ride and convince her to sign the confidentiality papers? ... I hate to use brute force on women."

He sees you walk out of the pre-made tent. You had a small blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Optimus sometimes forgets how delicate humans can be. The nights in the Nevada desert can be extremely cold and deadly for a small organism like you.

He looked at Fowler and the agent wasn't budging. He was waiting for him to take the next step.

Optimus vents heavily and transforms himself into his human-based design. A semi-truck with 18 wheels. He slowly drove towards you and when he got close enough, he opened the pilot door as an invitation to go inside.

You seemed hesitant but ultimately you walked towards him and got inside the truck. He closed the door for you and drove off into the distance.

.

.

.

You couldn't keep your hands to yourself. You touched the steering wheel, the windows, the seats, the radio buttons, the stick shift. Everything looked and felt like it belonged in a regular truck. Yet, it did not feel inanimate. It all feels somehow alive. You were quiet, literally, inside a robotic alien.

"I do not wish to be rude, but would you be kind enough to stop touching me?"

The alien spoke to you.

"Oh, forgive me, does it hurt?"

The truck stays quiet. But you can feel that the hot air coming out of his vents becomes hotter for a few seconds.

"My name is Optimus Prime from the Planet Cybertron. I am-"

"The leader of the Autobots? And you are in a war against the Decepticons?"

Silence. It was even comical to you. The bot was probably tired and the last thing he wanted to do was deal with a pesky human. Not like you cared much.

"Yes," he simply responds. From this point forward, you knew that this is how most of your conversations with him would go. Short and straight to the point. You'll easily find common ground with him.

"Fowler gave me the rundown of things."

"Then I must ask ... why are you hesitant to sign the confidentiality contract?"

You didn't know where he was taking you. You thought that he is probably driving for the sake of it. He is a truck, after all, he must enjoy the drive. But the night is dark and everything around you made it eery.

"I am a reporter ... If I sign that contract my career is over. Can't talk about the government ever again," you weren't completely lying. "And I just happen to love exposing corruption."

"I know."

"You know?"

"I've seen a few of your works,' Optimus said, making a small pause. His voice is very pleasant, nothing like you expected from a robotic alien. "You speak of truth."

"It's the only way you can fight a war without violence," you try to be vague without giving out too much information. You can't trust someone you just met, especially not someone from another planet.

"And maybe the only way to win one."

"What do you wish for? What would make you sign the contract?"

"The truth," you said. "I want the truth."

"I will sign the contract under one condition," talking was one of your strengths. You let out one important fact, leaving you vulnerable. It was a risk but you needed to create the illusion that there was trust.

"I have the information that was in the box, stored in my personal phone. If you let me accompany you in retrieving these ancient items, I will sign those contracts without complaining."

Suddenly, Optimus comes to a slow stop. The middle of nowhere in Nevada's desert. Just a couple of mountains, some big rocks, and cactus. And of course, a clear night sky.

You see that the bot had locked the doors. You mentally curse yourself. Did he have some type of power that could read through you? You should probably have done better research before lying.

"Why do you want to venture yourself in such matters?"

It was your time to shine.

"No matter how much I try, the truth is not enough to fix my world. At least it won't happen during my lifetime," you say words that your old self would say. Maybe a small and tiny part of you still believed in it.

"I heard your world is not even habitable because of the war. Even after that, the Autobots and the Decepticons won't stop fighting."

"I was just taught a quick rundown of everything so I am sure there's still much to learn but," you think carefully about what you are going to say. It's cheesy and cringe but you could only hope that this robotic alien is a fool and can't see your human nature of deceiving others.

"By learning and telling the truth, you can build the base of a new future for your planet. I can't fix my world but I want to help fix yours."

There was no reaction from him. You started to get worried as seconds turned into minutes. He wasn't stupid either. He was testing you to see if you would break or say something suspicious.

"I'll allow you to accompany us during our expeditions if there are no risks."

You were about to let out a heavy sigh of relief but you stopped yourself. For all he knows, there was nothing to worry about since you were not lying.

"But you will be under my surveillance," he adds as he starts to drive once again. "Starscream has seen your face, we can't afford for you to be alone for long periods of time."

That's going to make your work a bit more complicated but you had to do everything in your power to get your old life back.

"It's a deal then."

Optimus makes a sharp turn, instantly making you fall from your sit. He wasn't the most delicate. He probably didn't even measure his own strength.

"We'll start immediately."

"Immediately?" you rubbed your head, surprised he didn't even apologize. He probably doesn't care or Cybertronians have different manners. There's much to learn. "Well, as long as I am back for work on Monday it should be fine. But can we leave tomorrow morning? I want to go home and rest."

You felt the hot air from his vents coming out stronger than before for a few seconds. You assumed this was his way of sighing, with much disappointment.

He didn't say much after that and you just waited until he spoke to ask you for directions. .

.

.

You were renting a small home in the suburbs. You weren't sure if semi-trucks were allowed but one night should be fine. Prime wouldn't fit in your garage but the driveway gave him enough space.

Optimus opened his door for you and you jumped out. Stretching your legs felt nice, it was a bit chilly outside but nothing compared to the coldness of the desert. Turning to look at the Autobot, you wonder what you could say.

"Do you need anything?"

Did he drink water? Or oil? Did he need a bath? Did he even bathe?

"No."

His voice interrupted your thoughts.

"Alright then, if you need something, let me know," you said, trying your best to get some conversation going. "We are leaving as soon as the sun comes out."

He doesn't say a word. You didn't blame him, it was too much to expect him to trust you just after a couple of hours of knowing each other, and it's not like you could blame him. You wouldn't trust yourself either.

"Goodnight."

He doesn't reply.

.

.

.

"I'll return in two days. I am on a special mission to seek for a Cybertronian relic. I was assigned to work with a human. I am unsure if the subject can be trusted. I'll keep the human away from the base until I conclude their trustworthiness. I'll explain more later. Do not worry."

Arcee, Bulkhead and Bumblebee looked at the message on the data screen as Ratchet read Optimus's message out loud.

"Seems like he had an interesting patrol night," Arcee said as she looked at Optimus' vitals on the screen. They looked normal. "Shouldn't we go with him?"

"If Optimus needs backup, he will ask for it," Ratchet also keeps looking at Optimus' vital signs. There weren't any abnormalities, nothing that would require him to come to the base. "Besides it's not like we can go to him even if we wanted to. I am still trying to fix the groundbridge."

This wouldn't be the first time Optimus would be assigned a solo mission by Agent Fowler. Everyone knows that as the leader, Optimus has to be on constant missions, taking jobs that are too dangerous. Not because he didn't trust the abilities of his team-mates but because he didn't want to risk the spark of the others.

"It's better if we stay here in case we find an energon mine."

.

.

.

You did not dare to write your findings on the laptop. You weren't stupid. You knew very well that the wifi and your laptop must be rigged by the government by now. Watching and revising every search.

Instead, you opted for doing it the old way. Writing today's events on a notebook and little by little, fill it up with more information and most importantly, evidence.

You could already imagine it. Getting your job back. Being recognized as the best reporter of all time. The one who exposed the government and told the world about the existence of alien life. You will be set for life. You won't be a simple reporter anymore. No. Maybe, you'll become the CEO of CNF. Or even better, have your own news station.

That's if the government doesn't kill you before. You have to be extremely careful.

You look outside your window and see Optimus Prime. Agent Fowler didn't tell you much. Just that's he is a sentient being, with a strong sense of justice. Leader of the Autobots, a group of soldiers who fought against the Decepticons to gain control of their home planet.

Oh, how much you hated soldiers. Whether they were fighting for a good cause or not, it didn't matter to you. They all had blood on their hands. They all were guilty. Especially leaders who make others fight their useless war.

But your hatred won't get Optimus to trust you and you need to get as much information from him as possible.

You sigh. You were new here as well so you have a lot of boxes lying around. Nonetheless, you remember seeing an old tarpaulin in the garage, probably from the previous renter.

You look out the window again. It shouldn't hurt to try.

.

.

.

Optimus finished texting to Agent Fowler. A simple text that explained the current situation and his next steps.

It had been a long night. He thought his patrol was going to go as smoothly as others before. But nothing turns out as he expects it.

He still doesn't know how you convinced him to let you come. It's not like he doesn't know who you are. He has never missed one of your reports. Regardless of everything, all the war, the pain and suffering you've seen, you always ended things on a good note.

It was the kind of thing he needed.

Words he needed to hear.

He is always wary of people. Of anyone in particular that hasn't proven to be worthy of trust.

And you?

He just knew you for a couple of hours. He would be lying to himself if didn't admit his spark glowed for a small moment when he saw you.

Against the lack of his better judgment, he wanted to accept you immediately. To show you the base, for you to meet everyone and become that individual with unbreakable morals that keeps the team together.

A duty bestowed upon him ... that he so wanted to share with someone. He has been carrying it for so long, it has become too difficult to carry it by himself.

Can someone ... Can anyone ... Please, help him?

He feels something on the back of his fifth wheel and suspension.

Optimus doesn't respond, pretending to be in resting mode. However, he is always alert. No matter how tired, he tries to be awake in between sleep cycles in case something happens.

That's how he noticed you approaching him, carrying a large plastic cover bigger than you. Dragging it and carelessly putting it over him.

He is curious but doesn't say anything.

"There you go, big guy."

You patted your hands and you finished covering him up.

"I don't know if you get cold but you can't never be too sure."

He sees you walk away, shivering a little as you enter your home once again.

A part of him wanted to answer your question. But he is left without words. Would you even care to listen to him? Care enough to listen to his long explanation about Cybertronian biology?

He wants to say so much. The archivist in him has so much knowledge to share, yet no one would listen.

"I don't get cold. At least not on these temperatures."

That would be the easy answer. The not-so-boring one.

But if given the time and patience, he could tell you all about the biology of it and the reason for it. About how their bodies were perfectly made to the image of Primus.

And you?

He wonders about the things you could share with him. The things he could learn from you.

You know the land better than him and have experienced things in this world that he has yet to experience ... or maybe never will.

He is so lonely. That's the truth of it all. He craves for a connection.

But of course, he won't allow it. Not to himself. Not ever.

At least, under the starry night, covered by a dirty tarpaulin, he can pretend that his worries no longer exist. As his only worry is the ache of his spark wondering if the stranger in the house could become what he needs.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Ch.2: >>>

https://www.tumblr.com/t-a-a-1/767425691778203648/the-darkest-hour?source=share

[drunkenskunk]

There's a project related to my interest in Warhammer that I've wanted to do for quite some time, but I know I'll never get the chance to actually do it. At least, not properly. And it involves... I think "historical preservation" is probably the best word for it?

See, I like to occasionally sift through my collection of old "out of date" rulebooks and army codex books from earlier editions of 40k. The sort of things that have been out of print for many years. Games Workshop hasn't sold these books in 2 or 3 decades, and they've all been supplanted by the current rules. And I do this because I think it's interesting to see how the game - in both crunch and fluff - has changed since 1987.

More beyond the break...

For example: the different ways the galaxy has been depicted in 40k between the different editions. In the first rulebook, when it was still called Rogue Trader, all we got was a small, almost abstract, image on the bottom of the page. The 2nd edition rulebook that came out in October 1993 (specifically, the Codex Imperialis book) had a two page spread, but it was also very abstract with a few notes, but no real detail to speak of. As far as I can tell, the first time we got a map of the galaxy with the segmentum divisions that we're all accustomed to now came from a very unexpected place: the very first Tyranid codex that came out in August 1995.

Of course, my copy of the 2nd Edition book is a very poor quality black and white scan. Those segmentum divisions could genuinely be there, and I just can't see it. Not to mention, it's entirely possible that a map with segmentum divisions first premiered in an issue of White Dwarf first, because GW liked to do stuff like that in the old days where you'd see it in the hobby magazine long before it was "officially" released in a rulebook.

There are a lot of glaring omissions from a lot of the other files in my collection: poor scans, missing pages, corrupted files... There's a lot I still don't know, because it's impossible for me to currently confirm that the little I do know is, in fact, accurate. My collection is woefully incomplete. Plus, I don't really have much past 6th edition anyway.

And this, in essence, is my idea: try and complete the collection. Find pristine copies of all the old 40k rulebooks, army codexes, even old copies of White Dwarf, and digitize them all into a huge archive for the sake of historical preservation. Of a sort.

Basically, I want to become a Lexmechanic of the Adeptus Mechanicus, looking for Dark Age of Technology era STC's uncorrupted by the Heresy or the war with the Iron Men. Either that, or I want to become Trazyn with his Infinite Archive on Solemnace.

Unfortunately, there are many problems with this plan. The first being GW's overly litigious nature. They see all this Warhammer shit as "product" first and a hobby for people to enjoy a very, VERY distant second. Doesn't matter that these books (and the magazines) are long since out of print and they don't sell them anymore, effectively making the old editions the tabletop hobby equivalent to video game abandonware... if they got wind that I was attempting a project of this nature, I just know GW would smack me in the face with a cease and desist.

Of course, the other major stumbling block here is the financial issue. And I'm not just talking about buying the books. Obviously, there's the problem of the rarer books that go for upwards of $300 or more on ebay, but there's also a volume problem. Even if you find some good deals, and you're able to find older books for $10 or $15 a pop, there's just SO MANY books, that if I were to attempt this I would be wasting several thousand dollars that I just don't have.

More importantly, there's also the machine I would need to buy in order to do this project in the first place. Because if I was going to do this, I would want to do it right, y'know? I wouldn't want to simply shove the books into my dinky little scanner-printer combo hooked up to my computer. The only way I'd get a clean scan using that method would be to physically destroy these very valuable books, and that's the last thing I'd want to do. No, I would want to do it right, and get a machine like Scribe, the book scanner used by the internet archive:

Now, obviously, I can't get access to that machine, specifically, because Scribe was custom built by the engineers at the Internet Archive. But other V-cradle book scanners that let you digitize books without destroying them do exist... and they're all REALLY expensive. A good one to produce professional quality scans is, like, $25,000.

And I know what you're thinking: why do I even care about any of this? Even if this project was not entirely out of my reach, it's ultimately pointless, right? Why would I want to preserve all these old, out-of-date, no longer relevant rulebooks for a tabletop wargame that has only existed exactly as long as I have?

Because... let's be honest, this isn't really about Warhammer. The reason I want to do this stems from a much deeper desire to simply Remember. It's amazing and terrifying in equal measure just how easily history can be erased, either deliberately or simply through neglect. All of these things in our lives that are seemingly so important to us can easily vanish from history, like sandcastles when the tide rolls in.

Hell, if you really want to know my feelings about this, just watch Jacob Geller's video on this very subject.

If I had infinite time and infinite money, and I didn't care about any kind of repercussions from GW's legal team, this project would not be beyond my reach.

But I do not have infinite time or money. And there are more things in my life that I need to be concerned with that are far more important than creating a... stupid archive.

Shame, really.

[starless-planet]

Being terminally online but only on tumblr and youtube just makes it so you’re forced to go through accidental humiliation rituals irl. Absolute lose-lose situations.

Several months back I started my first ever big person job out of college. My coworkers’ (despite most of them being my peers) exposure to the internet largely stops at Tiktok and Facebook.

It was about one month in when I looked over at my coworker’s computer and see she’s looking at pictures of the onceler on google images.

Obviously my blood freezes in my veins but I go “Hey whatcha looking at over there?” And she explains to me she is planning on putting a photo of “The guy from The Lorax” in our coworker’s locker because he looks like him.

But as she keeps scrolling she’s… discovering. She’s having an experience I wish I could have shared with her instead of looking on like I’m seeing corpses strewn about a battlefield. She’s seeing the art. She’s baffled. “Why would people draw that? What’s going on?” she wonders. She is 24 years old. “People are weird.” I say. It’s all I can say. I’m new here and we are at what is essentially a help desk where guests can come up and talk to us at any time. I leave it be. She finally chooses a normal photo to print.

Later I’m having a conversation about it with another coworker and she goes “oh yeah. Well, apparently on Reddit it was a thing to like… you know… want that guy and the Lorax to kiss.”

I almost lost it, guys. I was screaming in my head. There was an entire 2 hour youtuber essay being held back because I was unwilling to expose myself. I had to just look her in the eye and go “yeah that’s crazy lol.” There was no discussion about the self-ship art. That went right over their heads I think.

A few months later and I’m making jokes to my other coworkers about which president they would marry and my friend pipes up “we should make a tumblr about really hot presidents, guys.” Now this time I only had a moment to suffer the weight of Hamilton Tumblr before she said “It’s too bad none of us have a tumblr and it’s dead.”

(Now before you go and think she’s just doing a bit I later confided in her I have multiple tumblr accounts and she was like “Oh. Good for you!” and promised me she didn’t have one. I believe her.)

Then we come to Columbo Night. Columbo Night is when we all get together and watch Columbo. I was doing a bit where I didn’t know what drugs were (well half of a bit, because I don’t actually know too much about them).

I mentioned learning about angel dust in DARE, but when everyone asked what that was I had to admit I didn’t know which specific drug it was slang for. So they looked it up on urban dictionary. They find this:

They lose their minds trying to figure out what was going on with this definition.

I kept my mouth glued shut.

They learn it’s from Hazbin Hotel. “I think Hazbin Hotel is a web comic?” someone pipes up.

I’m staring at the floor in front of me. The handful of youtube video essays I’ve watched on the show are playing out in front of me. I’m counting my blessings I’ve never actually watched it.

They’re having conflicting opinions about the art style. I’m gripping the edge of my seat.

And then, it’s time for Columbo, and it’s all over. Just as quickly as it started, it ended. Thank you Columbo.

[bluejayblueskies]

Do you have any advice/suggestions for getting into bookbinding? What is the process like if you don't mind sharing?

Hello! Very happy to share bookbinding advice/resources 💜 it's a wonderful and delightfully rewarding hobby, and while it can be complicated and easy to get stuck in the weeds with it, you can also get started with some really simple binds with materials you may already have around your living space.

Info below the cut:

First off, there are a lot of instructional videos and guides out there for bookbinding. My favorite YouTube channel for those just starting out bookbinding is Sea Lemon, who has a ton of instructional videos for various styles of bookbinding. Her method of explaining things is clear and concise, and she tends to work with simpler tools and materials that don't cost much and that you may already have on hand. She is not a professional bookbinder with professional tools (afaik) but in my opinion, that's perfect for a beginner because it's not as overwhelming and has a much lower barrier to entry. Perusing her channel and watching a bunch of videos was where I started before even picking up tools to start my first bind.

Another guide I highly recommend is How to Make A Book, by ArmoredSuperHeavy. This is a wonderful step-by-step guide for taking a fic from AO3 and turning it into a book. The most helpful part of this guide, for me, was the typesetting instructions. Typesetting is the act of taking a piece of text (eg. a fic on AO3) and formatting it in the correct way for printing and binding into a book. Note that this guide is specifically for MS Word, though you can also typeset in Google Docs, Libre Office, Affinity Publisher, InDesign, and other programs (even LaTex!).

(Pro tip: save yourself the headache of trying to use Word's bookfold option and just set your document page size to the page size of your finished book (if you're printing on letter paper, this is 5.5" x 8.5") and then use this software to put your pages in the correct order: https://momijizukamori.github.io/bookbinder-js/)

A final resource that I recommend, but that can also get a bit overwhelming, is the Renegade Guild Bookbinding Discord. It's a space specifically for people doing fanbinding, and there are a ton of resources within it, including typesetting guides for various softwares, guides for where to get the tools you need and which tools are best, and people who can answer any questions you may have along the way. It's gotten quite big since I joined, and it can be overwhelming since there's so much information available and so many people who have been binding for a while and thus often offer up solutions or advice that's hard for beginners to understand, but it has never failed me when I've had a tricky question that I needed answered that I couldn't find information on anywhere else.

All that said, here's some more advice from me when just starting out!

Start with a simple bind. A single-section pamphlet bind is easy, cheap, and quick. Here's a Sea Lemon video for how to put together a pamphlet bind.

If typesetting seems intimidating, you can bind blank notebooks. This is also a good way to practice new binding styles if you don't want to go through the hassle of typesetting, imposing, and printing for something you worry you might mess up.

A good word count range for fics when you're learning how to bind case-bound books (ie, the typical hardcover books you see in stores) is 25-50k. Shorter than that, and your books will be thin and a bit fiddly to work with. Longer than that is probably fine, but it will be a quicker process for a thinner book, which is nice when you're just starting out. (And then you don't have to worry about rounding and/or backing, which can be complicated.)

There are very, very few tools that you absolutely need to make a book. There are quite a few tools that will make your life easier, or that will make your book look nicer, or that will make your book last longer, but when you're just starting out (especially if you're trying to minimize cost or deal with space constraints), you can forgo a lot of "required" tools. I'll include a list below of the general bookbinding tools you'll want and some substitutions for them.

You might hear talk about the grain direction of paper or bookboard. When you're just getting started, don't worry about this. Once you get more comfortable with the bookbinding process, then you can start ensuring that your bookboard has the correct grain direction (parallel to the spine) to reduce the warping of your covers. The grain direction of your textblock paper matters the least, and I didn't start using "proper" textblock paper (ie short grain) until about 2.5 years after I started binding.

Bind something you like! Pick one of your favorite fics and bind it, even if it's your first bind and you're worried about it turning out ugly. The excited feeling of having bound your first book will be that much more exhilarating when you're able to put a story that you love on your shelf for the first time.

So you're ready to bind a hardcover book! Here are the tools you will want/need:

An awl, for punching holes in your signatures (groups of paper). You can use a thumbtack for this, or even a strong needle if you have something to cushion the end of it that you'll be holding, like an eraser. Awls are typically pretty cheap, though. You'll want a thinner one so you don't make huge holes in your paper. I have this one and it's worked just fine for me.

A bone folder, for creasing the pages. Historically, these are made out of actual bone, and the reason for using one is to get sharp creases in your paper without tearing or damaging it. You can also use basically anything else in your house that can accomplish this task. When I'm feeling lazy and just need to crease one piece of paper, I use my thumbnail. Bone folders are also cheap, though--I have this one. (As a tangent--when you're making your signatures for your book, you're going to be folding and slotting together usually between 4-6 sheets of paper. Fold the paper normally without creasing with the bone folder, slot them together, and then use the bone folder to sharply crease them all together. Trust me on this--the pages will fit together much better if you crease after putting the signature together.)

PVA glue, for all aspects of gluing involved when making the book. You can, I've heard, use Elmer’s glue for this in a pinch, but I've never tried it. PVA will dry flexible, which is what you need for your book, especially when gluing the spine. For things like attaching decorative paper to your covers, this is less important. If you're making a book that doesn't require gluing the spine (like a pamphlet or coptic stitch book), you may not need PVA. There are also lots of other glue mixtures you can use when bookbinding (paste is a popular one) but I've been a straight PVA guy for over three years now and I can't offer any advice when it comes to other types of adhesives. One note about PVA is it dries quick, so once you've stuck something to it, that's that. Prepare yourself for some crooked books until you get the hang of it.

Gluebrush/paintbrush, for applying glue. I recommend something with bristles; the foam brushes technically work but will absorb most of the glue and will probably cause you a headache. Silicone brushes are wonderful, as you can just wait for the PVA to dry and then peel it off, but a regular glue brush will also work; just be sure to put it in water immediately once you're done with it, otherwise the PVA will dry on it and ruin your brush.

Ruler + pencil, for measuring. Any kind of ruler will do, but if you have access to a quilting square or something similar, this will help you get nice and even right angles.

Needle and thread, for sewing the signatures together. You can use regular sewing needles and sewing thread (doubled up for more strength) if you don't want to buy anything specific for this. An easy step up from this that I recommend is buying a block of beeswax (I got mine for like $4 from a farmer's market) and waxing your thread (running the thread along the block a few times). This will keep your thread from tangling and make it easier to work with. You can also use embroidery thread, especially if you're doing a pamphlet or coptic stitch bind and want some color. I recently upgraded to linen thread (thread weight 35/3), which is the standard for archival-quality books, but you absolutely can use cotton thread and it will be fine.

Paper, for the textblock. You can use your standard white copy paper for this and all will be well. Or, if you want to get a bit fancier, you can use cream-colored paper; 8.5 x 11 hammermill 20lb cream colored paper is easy to find and relatively cheap and will make your books look better, as plain white paper can look almost blue in a book. (That said, I also have some actual published books that use white paper, and I've never noticed anything off about them.) If you decide you want to get really into the proper grain direction, I get my short-grain cream-colored paper from Church Paper. They have both 20lb (typical copy paper weight) and 24lb (slightly heavier) weight. I have both and I actually really like the 24lb; it has a luxurious feel to it, with less bleed from my inkjet printer. If you feel like springing for nice paper, check out their site!

Book press, for pressing your book while it dries and pressing your folded pages before sewing. There are a lot of different kinds of book presses out there, many of which are very very expensive. You can usually make do with some heavy books to weigh down your book while it dries, or thin boards and C-clamps if you have those on hand. If you have access to basic power tools, it's also super easy to make your own press with carriage bolts and cutting boards (this is what I did). There's a lot of videos out there with instructions; here's one from Sea Lemon.

Printer and ink, or a printing service/print shop like Staples. Print shops can get expensive in the long run, and it's nice to have your own printer so you can do test prints of your typesets. If you're going out and buying a printer, I highly recommend either a black and white laser printer (if you're not planning on printing in color; Brother is a good brand) or a tank inkjet printer (like the Epson Ecotank). Do NOT get a new HP if you can help it; their ink subscriptions are brutal. I'm upgrading to a black and white laser this year, but I've been using a very old, cheap HP inkjet that I got off Facebook marketplace for the past few years and it's been reliable (if a bit restrictive). If you do have an inkjet currently that takes cartridges, I highly recommend looking up how to refill your own cartridges. Buying one set of genuine HP cartridges and then refilling them with generic brand ink until they die has saved me probably hundreds of dollars by this point.

Book board, for the covers. Otherwise known as chipboard, which is easy to find on Amazon or at craft stores. This is NOT the same as corrugated cardboard; that will not work. You can cannibalize old three-ring folders, which have chipboard inside them, or even old hardcover books/textbooks. Don't bother with genuine bookbinding chipboard; imo, it's overpriced and unnecessary. You can find chipboard on Amazon for relatively cheap; I recommend the 12x12, as you can get a front and back cover out of one sheet with the correct grain direction. You can use chipboard for your book spine, if you're making a flatback, or you can use a thinner material that you can bend if you're making a rounded book (or for flatbacks as well). For this, thin cardboard (eg. old cereal boxes) or thicker cardstock will work just fine; you don't have to go out and buy genuine bristol board, and I've never bothered with it.

Exacto knife, for cutting things. You could also use a boxcutter, but a craft knife will be easier to handle. You will probably need to frequently change the blade, as cutting chipboard will dull it quickly, so get one that comes with a bunch of replacement blades.

Bookcloth and/or decorative paper, for covering your book board. Bookcloth is basically fabric with a paper backing on it. You can make your own using heat and bond, tissue paper (I use white tissue paper), and fabric; iron the fabric so it doesn't have any wrinkles in it, then iron the heat and bond onto the fabric, then iron the tissue paper onto the heat and bond. There are other methods out there that you may find easier/better, but this is the one I use. The purpose of the paper backing is to prevent glue from striking through the fabric; if you use a thicker fabric or paper, this is not necessary. For your first books, you may find it easiest to just use paper, or to go out and buy some premade bookcloth.

That's a lot of information, but I hope it was helpful! I'm more than happy to answer any more questions you (or anybody else) might have, and happy binding!

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

Could you recommend some good resources on accurate depiction of parchment in the medieval period? I feel like most people interested in medieval studies have a basic understanding of what it is and how it’s made, but you seem more well-versed than most on its tactile properties and regular use cases. Where can others acquire this knowledge?

most of what i've learned about manuscripts and book history has been either during my degrees or from work (i have worked in various libraries including with special collections, although mostly with early printed books and later paper manuscripts in that capacity). and in terms of what it's like to interact with, i have learned this mostly from interacting with it, but if you don't have a library or museum near you that will enable you to do this, it's a bit harder. this makes it hard to give recommendations although there are lots of very good books out there about books and manuscript history

(there's one i read early on in my journeys with palaeography etc that went into loads of detail about different writing surfaces including wood and wax tablets and so on, but i cannot remember the title and past me did NOT write it down which was really unhelpful. if i remember it i'll post about it)

there are also a ton of online resources about manuscripts though. lots of museums have online guides to manuscript production, parchment, writing through history. there's lots of codicology stuff out there. so it's not like you have to learn it in a formal environment -- that's just where i learned it and therefore mostly from lectures rather than shareable resources

but to understand parchment specifically i think understanding the process of making it is a crucial step to understanding why it is the way it is (and why it's not paper). here's a couple of youtube videos that give an overview

this is a more detailed video about a project that got people to make parchment themselves which is just kinda interesting (haven't watched it all the way through but am watching parts):

once you understand how parchment is made and the resources that go into it, i think it's easier to understand why it probably wouldn't be used for ephemera and scraps, and that helps you think about situations where people might use something else -- e.g. a wax tablet to take hasty notes, send messages that don't need to be permanent, send messages that are emphatically not permanent (your recipient can melt it and hide the note), etc -- as well as beginning to rethink the modern world's reliance on the written word in general and consider how oral messages and other non-written communication might have been used

as for the tactile side of things, as i said in a previous post, if you can't touch book parchment, go find your local irish musicians and see if the bodhrán player will let you handle their drum (or good quality orchestral timpani will do too! but with a bigger drum it's harder to feel both sides of the skin). drumskins made of goatskin are very similar on a tactile level to parchment, just a little thicker and not processed to quite the same level as a writing surface. it helps you stop thinking of them as super fragile once you realise people are whacking them with a stick regularly, and you can learn about the difference between the hair side and the flesh side of the skin and stuff and see the way the hair leaves traces in the skin and so on. this helps with the tactile understanding

(the cheaper the bodhran, the rougher the reverse side will be even if the front is still nice and smooth, which also makes you realise the difference between high quality books where you can barely tell which side of the page is the hair side, and low quality ones where they're not fully treated, there's still hair, whatever)

i talked to a conservator lately who told me the way he got into book conservation was via musical instrument repair -- they are more similar than you would think -- and i know trad musicians scattered far and wide enough to be reasonably confident that even if you're in an area with no touchable medieval manuscripts, you can probably at some point find a drummer who will let you play with their bodhrán in exchange for a pint or something, lol

but in the mean time there's lots of cool videos about there about parchment making which i do think is a crucial step to understanding it as a writing surface! and i will see if i can remember the names of any of the books i've read...

[psychhound]

psychhound games 2 year anniversary

wow ... i cant believe its already been two years since i started publishing games on itch but so much has happened in that time. i got promoted at my job, quit that job, started a master's program, became a teacher, decided to continue on to a phd, got published (twice), found meds that helped, made a lot of new friends, learned to cook, played in a good number of campaigns and short shots, and somehow, through all of that, i managed to publish (checks notes) 24 games, 2 zines, and an srd

in that time ive gotten over 20k views and almost 5000 downloads, as well as shout outs in video essays and podcasts. i've run two successful kickstarters and one that made it a far way but ended up teaching me more from its failure than i wouldve hoped

my goal when i started making ttrpgs was just to get a little bit of practice before i made my Big Dream Game. get my feet wet a little to learn the ropes and then design what i had actually set out to do in the first place - make a game designed specifically for therapeutic practice. and then i realized that i actually just really enjoy making games and kept making more and more and more of them until ... here we are

the first ttrpg i ever made literally came to me in a dream. my little sister was working for his college paper at the time and i dreamt that when he came to visit we played a silly comedy interviewing game i had made for her. so i woke up and made it. and then she visited and we played and it was a lot of fun!! and i was like. oh wait i can make games to make very specific people happy ... baller. so i kept doing that. made a game for my best friend where they could play as their cat and cause mischief and playing it for their birthday is such a cherished memory. my by far best selling game was made for a dear friend who's a photographer and lives in a big city and i wanted to blend city exploration, photography, and his love of a well-designed tarot deck into something fun he could do when he got out of the house. my most recent game was made because i wanted a tiny game i could print and send with my friends' holiday cards, and i know how much we all love writing and making crazy blorbo playlists so i made a playlist-driven writing game

over these two years its just become more and more obvious to me that my creativity that was once fueled so wholly by grief and trying to process it has now flipped around to being powered by joy and just overwhelming love. so many people in my life now who i love so wholeheartedly i found or got close to through playing ttrpgs, or being in the ttrpg community, and channeling that energy and that joy into making more of them to put out into the world has made my life so much better a million times over. i dont know where the future will take me but i hope to have such a long career of this - making through joy, engaging through play, growing through community - and i cant thank everyone whos supported me in getting here enough. im feeling very touched and very overwhelmed but just know that if youve ever bought one of my games, posted about playing it, left a nice review, or recommended it to a friend, you have my whole heart and i hope you have such a sweet new year

if you wanna check out my games you can find them on psychhound on itch or check out my portfolio and such on my website :) thanks everyone. happy new year

[ultraflavour]

7 Fantasy RPGs to fill the D&D-shaped Hole in your Life

So. It finally happened. Either Hasbro, or Wizards of the Coast, or someone else associated with Dungeons & Dragons finally did something so fucked-up that you've decided to swear it off entirely.

The problem is that for decades, there has been one obvious answer to the question of "What game with Dwarves, Longswords and Wizards in it should we play" and that was D&D, every time. Even their strongest rival in the past couple of decades was just an older version of D&D with a spit shine.

Now you find yourself adrift in a sea of possibility, with no signposts. There are names you've heard, but you have no idea which ones you'd actually be interested in, because you had always just assumed you'd be playing D&D until the heat death of the universe.

So let's take a look at a few games that want to fill that D&D-shaped hole in your gaming life, and examine what they're offering.

Disclaimer: I'm not covering the entire breadth and depth of the TTRPG industry here. I'm specifically going to be covering Fantasy RPGs that should appeal to D&D fans here. So if I didn't cover your favourite indie RPG, sorry. But there has to be a "First step" outside of the D&D bubble, and each of these games should fulfill that need.

The Other "Kitchen Sink" Game: Pathfinder

If you can't bring yourself to keep playing the corporate game, but you still want something that offers as close to that gameplay experience as you can possibly get, your best bet at the time of this writing is probably Pathfinder 2nd Edition.

I say this as someone who very much did not vibe with the original Pathfinder, or its "D&D in space" sister product Starfinder. But at this point, I'd absolutely tell a newcomer to jump into Pathfinder 2E before I recommended they buy any WotC product.

To their credit, the 2nd Edition of Pathfinder does much more to, uh, find its own path by diverging from 3.5 edition and implementing new systems that take it into uncharted territory. The "Two Actions Per Turn" paradigm is often cited by its proponents as being a meaningful improvement over the 5E way of doing things.

The "TTJRPG": Fabula Ultima

One of the biggest success stories of the early 20's was Fabula Ultima from NEED Games in Italy. It came seemingly out of nowhere to win the ENnie Gold Award for Best Game of 2023. Since then it's become notoriously difficult to find in print, though it's still freely available as a PDF.

Fabula Ultima is a "TTJRPG," modelled after Japanese fantasy video games like Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest, Phantasy Star, Breath of Fire, etc. While it's firmly planted in the Fantasy genre, its gameplay will also very recognizable to fans of those types of games.

The major benefit of this conceit is that you can probably already picture how combat in FabUlt works in your mind: Two rows of characters take turns jumping and slashing at each other, or casting magical spells to harm, heal, or apply status conditions. There's no concept of "Spacing," but the game still manages to be mechanically intricate with lots of varied class abilities and status effects to apply.

D&D refugees looking for a game where you simply pick a class and fight some monsters, but aren't too particular about how they do that, will find a lot to love here. FabUlt leans much more heavily on storytelling mechanics than D&D does, so players who've been looking for something a bit more "Theater of the Mind" should be well taken care of here.

Final Fantasy Lancer: ICON

Like Fabula Ultima, ICON is a TTRPG that takes heavy inspiration from JRPGs, specifically tactical games like Final Fantasy Tactics and Tactics Ogre. It's from Massif Press, who also authored the surprise indie Mech combat hit Lancer.

And like Lancer, ICON is a game with two very distinct rulesets: Outside of combat, a "Fiction-first" narrative system inspired heavily by Blades in the Dark; In combat, a grid-based tactical skirmish game reminiscent of D&D 4th Edition. All backed by the gorgeous art of its author Tom Parkinson-Morgan, who also writes and illustrates the comic Kill Six Billion Demons.

ICON separates its "narrative" class system from its combat class system, giving each character two distinct character sheets that come into play at different times. Because those two systems don't have to cross over very much, each can be as intricate or as rules-light as it needs to be to promote the type of gameplay most appropriate for the situation.

The Old-School Gateway Drug: Shadowdark

If you ever took a few steps outside of the walled garden that is D&D in the past few years, you will likely have read or heard of the OSR, or "Old-School Revival/Renaissance." Proponents of the OSR are players who yearn for an older style of Dungeon Crawling Survival Horror game that hearkens back to the early days of D&D, before the players became akin to superheroes.

Shadowdark aims to be a game that bridges the gap to that style of gameplay, without being totally unfamiliar to players who only ever learned 5th Edition mechanics. It's "Old-School gaming, modernized."

Aside from simply being a modern take on a D20 fantasy game, it freshens up gameplay using a mechanic called the "Torch Timer." It turns light into a resource that dwindles in real time. This serves to elevate the tension of the game as every minute that passes is one less minute of light on your torch. And when the torches run out, well... You can probably guess what happens next.

5th Edition with the Serial Numbers Filed Off: Tales of the Valiant

Tell me if you've heard this one before: Wizards of the Coast introduces sweeping changes to its "Open" license model, leading existing 3rd-party content creators to create their own version of an older ruleset to protect the viability of their backlog. It happened in the past, but what are the chances that happens a second time? Ha!

Well... It did happen again. This time, playing the role of the "Paizo" in this scenario is Kobold Press, who loudly declared that they were "Raising the Black Flag" in response. In order to ensure that there would always be a "Core Fantasy" ruleset that would remain compatible with their content, they announced Tales of the Valiant, which would essentially duplicate the 5th Edition ruleset with a bit of a spit shine, in much the same way that Pathfinder did for 3.5 Edition.

Tales of the Valiant will be the game for the D&D player who just wanted a rules refresh of 5th Edition, but also doesn't want to keep throwing money at the corporate hegemony. It should end up being "The 5E you can feel good about supporting," and that matters right now.

Matt Colville's Big Bet: The MCDM RPG

Kobold Press was not the only publisher of third-party D&D content to have a strong reaction to the OGL fiasco. Unlike Tales of the Valiant however, Matt Colville's response was to announce a fully new Fantasy RPG system, with no expectation of backwards compatibility with any edition of D&D.

MCDM's sights are firmly set on the "Post-Kitchen-Sink" future, and to that end their game is explicitly not trying to be the one game for every possible playstyle. It's Tactical, meaning you'll need a grid to play it on, and it's Heroic, meaning characters should feel powerful, and not like they're constantly one critical hit or failed trap-sensing check away from being decapitated.

This approach might seem like a massive risk considering how insanely powerful 5th Edition became at its peak. But a record-breaking crowdfunding campaign backed by over 30,000 people shows that there is at least an appetite for something new, and that there is a like-minded community of players ready and waiting to join you.

The Critical Role Game: Daggerheart

If the Kobold Press announcement was a shot across the bow, and the MCDM crowdfunder was a bomb dropped, then Daggerheart is a full-blown asteroid, streaking straight towards Wizards of the Coast HQ.

Daggerheart is an original Fantasy RPG from Darrington Press, the publishing arm of the Critical Role media company. That by itself should mean something considering how important CR is to the D&D brand, but there's more to talk about here. Though it superficially resembles D&D in a lot of ways, it has some extremely important differences. Namely, its use of "Powered by the Apocalypse" mechanics such as "Fail Forward" dice rolling and "No Initiative" combat.

While "PbtA" has become somewhat of a loaded term in the D&D community, Critical Role has an opportunity to overcome that stigma with the sheer force of their platform. I've made this case already in the past, but if they were to use their power to do for themselves what they did for 5th Edition, it would be the most significant threat to the Hasbro Hegemony to emerge since Pathfinder. Let alone taking just a slice, Daggerheart has the long-term potential to take the whole damn pie.

And more!

The games I've listed here are all theoretically capable of replacing the Corpo game as your "go-to" long-term game. Not all of them are fully playable as of this writing, but they all represent one possible future for the "Sword and Sorcery" RPG genre.

There are of course a whole plethora of other games out there beyond the limited scope of "Medieval Fantasy" that are just as valid and just as viable, if you're feeling a bit more adventurous.

If you're looking for something explicitly tactical like a miniature skirmish game, but still in the RPG genre, and you're willing to expand your choice of genre beyond Euro-centric Medieval Fantasy even further beyond ICON, you might be interested in Gubat Banwa or the aforementioned Lancer.

If you want a game that promotes a slightly more streamlined, less mechanically-intricate approach to combat while still giving you tons of monsters to kick the shit out of, you might want to check out the "Illuminated by LUMEN" family of games inspired by the games LIGHT and NOVA from Gila RPGs. It might even inspire you to write your own RPG!

If you're more interested in the Old-School Renaissance, you might want to check out Forbidden Lands, Dungeon Crawl Classics, Old-School Essentials, or MÖRK BORG.

If you like the idea of "Old-School Roleplaying" but are also willing to step outside of the fantasy genre into Sci-fi territory, you might be interested in Stars Without Number, its Cyberpunk sister product Cities Without Number, or Mothership.

Finally, if you just want a game that focuses on telling the best story rather than mindlessly killing monsters and acquiring loot, you might want to check out Blades in the Dark, Thirsty Sword Lesbians, Girl by Moonlight, Coyote and Crow, and many more Fiction-First games in the Powered by the Apocalypse and Forged in the Dark genres.

But most importantly: Just play more games! Don't just buy them, play them! The point of this whole exercise is to replace the monopoly with a plurality, for the sake of the health of the tabletop gaming industry.

Because the next time Hasbro lays off a bunch of WotC employees, there should be a much stronger, more diverse industry for them to land in feet-first. We should all want for the people who build the games we love to feel safe in their career choice. Not just for the sake of the ones who are already there, but for future prospective designers and artists who want to make their mark.

It should be viable to be a tabletop game designer outside of just making more D&D stuff forever, because as we've seen, it's not safe to assume that we can all just keep doing the same thing we've been doing and not get bit on the ass by it.

If we want that future, we have to take it into our own hands and build it ourselves. But if there's one group of people that knows about building something very big from very little, it's TTRPG players.

[mich-al]

okay here's a mini-rabbit hole cuz my mind is being blown rn

so there was this cartoon called wow wow wubbzy on nick jr. it never aired where i live but i did play a bunch of the flash games they had on their website.

they were cool games but i think just the aesthetic with this simple shapes and all that is why it stuck out to me as a child. today i was bored and decided to revist them and because now i can actually understand english, i went to the wiki. one of the articles was about the artbook "The Art of Wubbzy" and it had this:

this sounded super weird. i assumed it was maybe some creepypasta nonsense cuz i was a Wikia Kid myself and most of the users were probably children. but it did elaborate on it later in the article.

(im just putting a 'read more' so your dash isnt too cluttered, there isn't anything super disturbing here or anything like that)

now if it was just the second picture, i would doubt that, but the other two sound too specific and not overtly scary enough for children to make up. luckily, the article had a link to a free pdf on scribd. so i scrolled through like 50 pages of normal artwork, and sure enough, the pictures were actually there!

i expected them to be at the end or something but no, each of them is scattered among tens of pages of usual production artwork. there's like no warning or anything, it's jarring, and would probably spook an 8-year old me. but the pictures do look a bit shoddy so i tried to see if there was some Physical evidence in the printed version.

that's the first picture they described! it's here! from a concerned parent it seems! and there's a youtube video of someone flipping through the book! you can see the "creepy art" next to the usual production artwork.

so here's the question... why would you put this in a book about a lil kid show? and why am i finding out about this just now? "vent art" like this isn't that rare, you've probably seen the very gory edit of "The Enchiridion" title card or heard of the edgy rugrats storyboards the animators made. these are relatively well-known, so i really feel i should've seen it. well, i don't have an answer, but i have a hunch.

recall the note that started it all. the SECOND edition. so it's not like it was removed due to backlash, it was Added later! you'll have an easier time buying the creepypasta version. but here are the dates:

that's a 14 year gap! that's long enough that anyone who watched wubbzy in its day is at least a teenager now! so my theory is, that since wubbzy is way past its cultural relevance and people with familiar with the show are Older, bob boyle (the creator) or the publisher at frederator decided to have some fun and show the world a lil peak behind the scenes. though, the pictures appearing with no context or explanation between storyboards and backgrounds makes it feel more like a sort of prank. idk how to end posts but thx 4 readin

[yeehawpim]

i am so sorry for bothering you but. i have a few questions. Do you have any tips or books/youtube videos to help people interested in making comics or webcomics? and, also, how big do you make your canvas & is it the same size on your site (to read your comic)?

ayyy not at all 👌(side note sorry to the ppl I don't get to, I read all my asks even if I can't answer all of them and they cheer me up)

I've answered comic-making related stuff in my q&a tag somewhere, if you want to go digging 🤔

here's one of them

but as for books and youtube videos hmm

supereyepatchwolf on youtube has a few vids talking about manga, I especially like the chainsaw man one where he talks about how the author doesn't have the most polished style but the layout/composition/panelling is insane. There's another one he does about gantz where he talks about empty space can be used to make a lonely feeling. Those are more about the specific titles than comic making 😅but they defs inspired me haha

I watch a lot of video essays about movies and shows and they make me wanna go out and tell more stories 😤🫶 (breadsword, ladyknighhtthebrave, hazel... etc)

I haven't read any specific comic-making advice books? I just read a lot of manga/comics and stare at the things I like in them. Off the top of my head, One Piece, Anya's Ghost, and The Adventures Of Dr. Mcninja are all fun.

A more succinct advice book I think is The Animator's Survival Kit by Richard Williams. It's about animation, but comics has always felt kind of like a cousin. You're still making movement and timing look good, but it's in more select snapshots. (Though the advice about not listening to music while you're working is not for me 😂)

Also Griz and Norm have this really cool book of drawing tips that I want to get one day, but I think you can find everything as individual posts online too.

I usually work with 1650x2550px 72ppi for digital stuff, and 300ppi for print stuff. This is coming from a rube in all computer matters though, so take it with a grain of salt. It should be the same size on my site unless posting it somehow altered it w/o me knowing 😅

[plenilune]

what a weird year it's been! this time last year I remember being so high on not wanting to die for the first time in years that I was ecstatic to greet 2023 and find out what I could do in it -- I don't feel that way this year, buffetted about by circumstance and my stupid human body and brain, but I don't feel defeated. I feel like I made a good first pass at a piece of work and now I'm going to take a hack at another draft. I made some good ground. not all the ground I was hoping to make, but a lot I wasn't expecting. I feel good about my ability to keep building a life and a self I can be more and more joyful to occupy.

I tried a lot of new things and some of them didn't work but most of them did. I said yes to a lot of weird shit. I had so many experiences this year. I'm glad I spent a night dancing and smoking on the fire escape outside a masonic lodge and being absolutely drenched in rain. I'm glad Corey and I went on a gorgeous queer group ride with a bunch of other queer cyclists through the streets of our favourite parts of northern Kentucky and then bicycled back home together. I'm glad I had a not-quite-one-night stand and bused home as the sun rose golden and alive and lovely. I'm glad I re-learned the importance of dancing at clubs until I can barely move. I'm glad I saw Oldboy in the cinema and was so adrenalised that I jumped up and down on the sidewalk and screamed waiting for my bus home. I started painting back patches and sewing things onto my clothing and making jewellery and collaging and cropping all my tshirts and sweaters.

I started writing again .god, I started writing again.

and I broke my phone, my glasses, and my computer and struggled financially and took a nightmarish disaster trip to Philadelphia for my grandmother's funeral and I lost access to meds for reasons that were completely my own fault and thus sunk into a mire of depression and fatigue for several months that could have been completely avoided. I struggled to connect to people and struggled to feed myself and been a goddamn wreck. I didn't really accomplish most of the things I thought I was going to, that I started with eagerness and energy at the beginning of the year.

but hell. I built some shit. now I can keep building on top of it. I feel like a completely different person sometimes now, with different possibilities. I fucked up and lost and careened into walls of bad luck over and over this year but I feel better for and about it than I have in a long time. okay, that's new muscles. okay okay okay. new page, new draft, we can go again.

anyway. this year I want to push forward more deliberately on some of the stuff I found out I could do this year -- obviously I am continuing to work on my goddamn space heist book, but also specifically pursue block printing, drag/burlesque, bass, and making zines in 2024 instead of just experimenting with them. bicycle more, cook more, invest in people more, Not Go Off My Meds At Any Point, play more video games, watch more films. (I watched over sixty this year! after barely watching films for so long I didn't know what my own taste was any more, and feeling the shame and confusion of having once been a kid who wanted to go to film school but didn't know what movies they liked any more.)

anyway. here's to all of you who have kept me alive and interested in the world this year. my beloved partner is making arriabbiata and playing jazz in the next room. I have to work first thing tomorrow but tonight I'm going to finish the first season of Better Call Saul and poke at my novel and the day after tomorrow I'm going to have tea and listen to music and sew patches onto my jacket and best flannel. I'm going to keep finding new things to be alive for. I'm going to create a self I want to live inside. I'm excited to know what things are going to happen to me in 2024. I'm excited to learn about new ways to feel joy.

goodnight, 2023. you were a mess and I loved you more often than I didn't.