#i need to stop drinking by myself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

queer-pagan-witch · 9 months ago

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One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.

#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow #someone should kiss me #and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons #i love #im so drunk #i too drunk #i stated typing thos at 12:30 #imma smoke pot after i post this #if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags #i need to stop drinking by myself #if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes?#at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself #im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this #trans thought time #i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true #like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option #but is it the right option?#i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny #cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny #this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise #america sucks #capitalism sucks #love is such a bullshit thing #how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou #like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong #maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist #i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally #12:51 and i have one more short tag to add #i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh #but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you

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icewindandboringhorror · 4 months ago

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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?

*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)

*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)

(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )

(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)

#polls #tumblr polls #I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup #the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli #section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff #so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just #blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most #neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol #I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me #but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T #I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee #person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times #But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol #And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly #When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one #sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it #Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something #Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and #coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single #coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to #have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus #make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as #possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get #to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol

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poseidonstaint · 5 months ago

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I WANTED HIM TO DRINK IT AND GET CRAZY

#i wanted them all to drink it and get crazy #except ify he doesn’t deserve one anymore #genuinely why is this affecting me so much #is there something wrong with me #something i need to work through in myself or something LMAO cause this actually pissed me off so much #WHY DID HE TAKE THEM ALL #ugh ify you better have some cool moves in the finale to make up for this #never stop blowing up #d20 #dimension 20 #brennan lee mulligan #jacob wysocki #nsbu spoilers

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faunandfloraas · 9 months ago

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It is kinda funny seeing people talk about Seungmin lately because he definitely has gotten more bold and confident for sure. He's also just getting opportunities to be perceived as an individual on his own as well for the first time in a while but it's still jarring to see people be like Aw he was always such a quiet goodie two shoes little nerd and it's like...... he was the one to leave and seek out his own vocal coach and blatantly talk about it, which of course lead to I.N and Lee Know also doing the same, he was the one to go on bubble and tell off sasaengs who used to camp outside their old dorm for invading members privacy but also because it effected other residents and staff at the complex, something that i'm certain upper management wouldnt have been happy about, and he wasn't curt or nice about it either. like he's never actually been a wallflower, he's always had a pretty strong backbone and seems to stick to his principals, its not really new.

#even silly shit like bringing up drinking even tho staff has clearly told him not too #like yeah its silly but its still sticking to his guns of being like we arent actually children anymore thanks #the food thing too like in an old 2 kids room he said something about not being able to eat on his bday bc they were filming so evidently #there was a moment in time when he caved to the shitty diet obsession kpop had but ever since hes never really said anything like it again #instead hes telling everyone to eat well and reminding people to have dinner or lunch every other day #even the comment about growing his hair out but then being like lol the stylist probably wont like me saying that or whatever #and like the yeah im going to the gym but im not lifting. dont expect me to bulk up. im doing it for stamina<< that made me cackle #bc i did see people on twt being like but what if seungmin got buff tho omg hed be so hot 🥺 Well him bein buff isnt what this is about #so he went and made sure people were realistic. not everyone needs to be noticeably cut yk #idk maybe bc i watched most all the skz content all the way through #and now i go back and gif stuff i notice patterns more easily than if youve been here for longer and havent watched older stuff #for a while- maybe? idk its just funny but i also see takes a lot and have to stop myself from going No <3 #anyway this is my obligatory insane ksm tangent of the week. see you in 5 minutes.#🐶

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ultimateyakazoo · 2 days ago

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just got diagnosed with pcos, does anyone else here have it or have any advice or anything

#idk how much I really need to change my lifestyle #the website my doctor sent me says i need to stop eating rice and bread and id rather kill myself #it also looks like i need to quit smoking #i also might need to cut down a LOT of my drinking which is gonna #be difficult #not dangan

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todayisafridaynight · 7 months ago

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sometimes i get nishiki i really do

#snap chats #like from an outsider perspective it is utterly hilarious watching everything go wrong for him #BUT GIRL NOT ME STOP HAVING THIGNS GO WRONG FOR MEEEEEE WHAT IS ALL THIS #this month its actually one thing after another if i start wearing white everyone needs to be concerned #you guys remember my bullshit roommates yeah well TLDR im getting fined for their messes im going to SCREAM #I HATE IT HEERRRREEE I KNOW IM EVIL BUT CMON #literally had such a silly night last night and now everything sucks again is this life is this what life is #its not its not what life is im just hearing my mom bitching in the other room and im letting her vibes ruin mine #everything going to be ok this is just a hiccup .... a small pinprick in the tapestry of life ....#i am incredibly annoyed though cause this is one of those situations where youve done nothing wrong but youre being shot for it #its just unfair but whatever we ball ..... im putting the hair gel away guys im not slicking my hair back just yet ....#i got a new friend last night so maybe ill just hang with them later and ill remember life is beautiful ..#heh ... jk ... i can remind myself life is beautiful right now ... im gonna go eat some tiramisu ...#jesus christ i really do love italian food what the fuck. pasta / calamari / tiramisu #i dont think calamari is italian but i got it from an italian place w/e we get the picture #its not my fault that italy has good food ... i would just never go there .....#ok bye ima go eat and drink water now. water will remind me how beautiful life is ...

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outlying-hyppocrate · 2 days ago

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the closest i will ever feel to sexual attraction is towards my mother's banana bread.

#random thoughts #i wanted to write more but then it made me not want to be alive anymore so i stopped.#uh. speaking of writing. i need to get back on angel akathaemia !!#also because tomorrow is the seventh and i've decided to do something kind to myself every seventh of the month. well.#i'm going to go downtown ! ! ! !#just for kt tape and perhaps a nice little drink but. waugh. (':

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angelstrawbabie420 · 4 months ago

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in my quest to quell my pain ive only hurt myself worse. damned if i do damned if i dont.

#i need better coping mechanisms but it’s so easy to just turn to substances when you’ve never learned how to cope w your emotions #and physical pain. however a lot of it has been brought on by the substance abuse aka i did it to myself #so i probably deserve it #but i started with them in the first place to get rid of pain that was so overwhelming and constant #it feels like every time i do something to preserve myself im punished for it #and im so sick of it. i cant believe its gotten this bad #i drink to help the pain -> i get hungover and the pain is way worse -> i drink to stop that pain #and the worst part is it always works #realistically ive depended on substances for like a decade #i started drinking at 13 and fell into a rut of alcoholism at like 15/16 #my mom was going thru a phase of alcoholism and roped me into it so bad if be woken up by her bringing me a drink at 9 am #and we’d drink till she passed out and i had to walk her to bed and cook for everyone and do all the chores #it went on for months one summer #then it was weed and i smoked every day from like 18-22 #only thing thwt stopped me from drinking until i started again after both my parents died #i havent recovered since.#im still so traumatized and depressed that i looked for any method of relief #the dph phase was the worst. i think alc is even better than that lmfao it was horrible #once i got access to alc i stopped all that. wouldnt have if i hadnt had alc tho #it’s honestly been one addiction after the other for a decade #and my parents fueled so much of it #‘oh id rarher you drink under my eye than do it behind my back’#BRUH YOU WOULDNT LET ME GO ANYWHERE OR DO ANYTHING. HOW WOULD THWT HAVE HAPPENED #crazy how i was obsessed w drugs and shit by the time i was 10 and i remember thinking wow im gojna grow up to be an addict.#why am i so irreparably fucked up #idk whatever. like im not gonna drink abt it lmao.

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yanderespamton78 · 8 months ago

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the current state of the arg

sorry guys the art isnt arting D:

(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)

#i felt like just a lillll bit of a creep relistening to voice messages over and over to find a good quote but. yk what. it was worth it #i totally didnt take reference from the really cool face i used in that animation because im still really proud of it #idk if emi or TD have a sona but if they do im not aware of it and i didnt feel like asking so i just drew both of them as blank characters #im too stressed to scheme lol #maybe #just maybe #i need to stop drinking tea because the caffiene makes me anxious #...#naaaaahhhh #i dont really know what to do with myself atm because i dont want to work on the animation unless turnon is ok out of pure spite #this morning i was absolutely radiating stress #i have a friend who shows up so we can walk together to school and she could tell smth was off lol #i literally could not hide it at all even if i wanted too #i kept pulling my hat over my face thats the main way you can tell that im stressed #not that it really matters that you know that bc none of you are ever gonna witness that but. fun fact abt me ig #ugh #if turnon dies i am gonna cry so hard <333 #and i wont finish the animation <333333333 #(at this point just trying anything to get turnon back)#im gonna make a word doc #i make word docs when im stressed /hj #quick question turnip : is there a way to get turnon out of the situation he is in or is he just gonna die and theres nothing we can do #about it /gen #because i have a sneaky suspicion that we cant actually do anything about this #i swear to god #LETS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!#A DEFRAG MIGHT COME OUT TMR!!#its been 21 days and a defrag takes on average 20-25 days #ough #turnip and addon im gonna find where you live and i will burn your respective houses down

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isdalinarhot · 8 months ago

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just saying for the sake of transparency that im at like. suicide risk level one billion due to the fact that my parents have made it so i cannot use their money to buy alcohol anymore and i am unemployed and have only 85 cents accessible to me so like. after the One Singular Bottle I Have Right Now runs out i dont have any way of getting more. i am not fucking ready to get sober and the thought of having to quit entirely is not something i can fathom being alive for, im serious.

i dunno. i want to have my voice drop. i want to read kowt. i want to bury my parents so i dont get deadnamed during my funeral. but the amount of days that is, days filled with so many unfathomable moments of agony, days where i will suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer, doesn't feel worth it to me.

#luke.txt #suicide mention #i dunno. im sorry. im so sorry.#this isnt a suicide note to be clear. just like. if i suddenly stop posting. yeah.#the worst part is i cant even drink about it because if i drink about it i wont have anymore and i need to save it i need to be able to kno #that its there if i need it #this isnt even cosmere im sorry im so sorry #this is going to sound like a shitpost im sorry i swear its not but please please please dont let sadeas/dalinar die with me #im half the fucking ao3 tag i dont want it to never update again if i kill myself #ive been gross ugly sobbing for the last 2 hours i dont know how i still have tears in me #i dont know what to do. im sorry. im so sorry

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thebyter · 1 month ago

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i read this one uu fic where ash knows tht spoke is spoke inthe mafia episode and its lkke him giving spoke a ceremony outfit and its kinda gay with all of the caressing and shit but idk if i like them that way Id prefer to see them in a toxic platonic way but the author might make them kiss if they make a sequel but ill pretend that its a cheek kiss instead if they do