#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most

[icewindandboringhorror]

On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?

*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)

*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)

(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )

(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)

[elareine]

Through the night (we’ll make it) (Robinpile)

It was fine, really. Just another day of trying so hard and not being enough, just like every day.

Ouch, that sounded bitter. Dick chided himself even as he dragged himself to the safehouse Jason had been using last. All he needed was a good night’s sleep, he thought, and then he would feel better.

The scene that greeted him was tranquil. Jason was reading, with Tim and Damian tapping away at their laptops, probably completing case- and homework, respectively.

“Hey,” Dick called out half-heartedly in greeting. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy to see them. He was. That’s why he had come here, after all.

He was just so, so tired.

Jason took one look at Dick, put away his book, and opened his arms. “C’mere, babe.”

Dick stepped into them gratefully, finding himself enveloped into so tightly a hug he could not help but relax into it. Jason, he knew, wouldn’t let him go.

When Dick began to shiver despite the heat Jason reliably gave off, a soft blanket was draped over him. There was some whispering that Dick didn’t bother to follow, and then Jason pressed a kiss to his hair. “Let’s get you into bed, hmm?”

Dick nodded, trying to extract himself from the embrace with some effort. Jason would have none of it, though, picking him up as if he weighed nothing, only setting him down when they had reached the bedroom.

Now there were other hands, too, undressing him gently; nothing sexual about it, just making sure he would be comfortable. All the while, Jason never once fully let go of him, and when they were done, he lifted Dick again, carrying him over to their bed.

As soon as they were settled, Dick heard Tim murmur something soft, then creep in behind him, slinging an arm around Dick’s waist and pressing a gentle kiss to his nape. Damian turned off the lights and joined them mere seconds later. He wound up mostly on top of Jason, too, his arms and legs flung over Dick’s.

“Good?” Jason asked, his voice low.

Dick smiled. “The best.”

Like this, life didn’t feel like such a heavy burden anymore.

—

Grief had a way of sneaking up on you. Tim was no stranger to it, yet it still managed to surprise him from time to time.

At least his day was busy. Kick some ass at night, grab an hour of sleep at so at Jason’s safehouse, drink too much coffee, head out, play at being a Drake-Wayne for most of the day, inhale some dinner and go out and kick ass again.

If only there were more ass to kick. For once, Tim would’ve welcomed a sleepless night, but noooo, Gotham’s criminals chose that exact day to be slackers. By midnight, even Batman had given up for the night.

There was nothing for it but head home. Tim was already trying to decide how he would occupy himself until morning. There was that one case file he’d been meaning to take a second look at. Star Trek Discovery was surely due a rewatch before the new season came out. Hell, Jason had been raving about that one book he’d read, maybe Tim would watch the movie adaptation.

But when he returned to his apartment, the lights were on and the security system turned off. Inwardly, Tim groaned. Great. Dick would want to talk about it, and Tim really, really didn’t.

Talking had never brought anyone back from the dead. Their little group should know that better than anyone.

Still, he put on a smile as he entered. Dick and Damian were lounging on the couch and greeted him with some surprisingly cheery waves.

“Yo, Tim,” Jason called from the kitchen. What he was doing there was a mystery to Tim. The last time he’d been grocery shopping had been… weeks ago. Ooops. “The brat has something for you.”

Tim looked down. Damian was basically shoving a controller into his hands. “I found a way to get the Nintendo 64 working again,” he announced, looking so proud of himself. “You’re always saying it’s the best.”

“It is,” Tim said, perking up. “Wait, did you get—”

“Mario Cart?” Dick pulled out the grey precursor to a disk out of… somewhere—Tim wasn’t really sure, and one never knew with that man—and threw it over to Damian, who caught it with a grin.

“Race you?”

Tim knew—he just knew—that the minute he would sit down on that couch, Dick would pull him into his lap, closely followed by Damian, because the brat could never not be part of anything. Jason would probably keep his distance and just throw popcorn at them or something. It would be noisy and loud and competitive as fuck.

It sounded perfect. “Loser has to be first to try whatever Jason’s cooking up.”

“Hey!”

—

Damian’s vision was swirling.

This wasn’t good, he acknowledged. He should possibly have waited for backup. But then those criminals would have kept that child in their clutches for an hour longer, and to Damian, that was unacceptable.

So he had essentially made peace with the fact that he was currently lying on the floor of a dirty warehouse with what was likely a concussion and a shoulder that was throbbing rather suspiciously.

Behind him, there was the distinct sound of the door being kicked open. Damian wished he had the strength left to see if it was his reinforcements or the rest of the gang, coming to finish him.

“Fuck.” That would be Jason, then.

Seconds later, Dick’s face, worried even behind the domino, hovered over Damian’s. “Robin? Are you okay?”

What a stupid question. Damian would tell him so. Any minute now.

Dick pulled off his Nightwing gloves, then began checking Damian over for any injuries beyond the obvious. There were some scuffling noises and a few low curses, then Jason joined them, taking off his helmet to reveal the domino beneath.

Damian appreciated the gesture. He knew Jason would not do that unless the situation was absolutely under control.

“A concussion and some nice bruises,” Jason finally concluded. “But man, nothing compared to what you gave those guys, babybat. Pretty sure they’ll be collecting their teeth for weeks to come.”

Damian tried to focus. “Are they—”

“You did good,” Dick told him, smiling. “The kid’s fine. Red Robin is delivering him and those thugs to the police as we speak.”

“He says not to hurt me too much,” Jason added.

Damian frowned. “No, he didn’t. And why would I—ouch!” Betrayed into the noise by surprise, he just about kicked Jason into the stomach on reflex.

“Sorry,” Dick told him apologetically even as Jason coughed behind him in pain. “That shoulder had to be set.”

Damian grumbled, but let it go. At least Jason was already suffering the consequences of his rash actions.

With a soft thud, Tim landed beside them. “Cargo delivered,” he reported. “How are you feeling, Dami?”

“Hard to focus,” Damian admitted. The days of having to posture in front of the others were long past. “Otherwise, I’m fine.”

“Let’s get you home and checked out, babybird,” Dick suggested, lifting Dami up onto his back as if he was still twelve.

“He can walk himself home,” Jason griped behind them. “Look what he did to my stomach.”

Damian was sure Tim was rolling his eyes behind the cowl. “Ah, yes, your poor stomach. How will those abs ever recover.”

“Ha, I knew you liked them!”

Damian could feel Dick chuckle underneath him, and despite nausea starting to make itself known deep in his stomach, he couldn’t help but laugh, too.

___

For once, Jason didn’t wake up screaming.

It was worse than that.

He had to claw his way out of that dream, back to a reality that he still wasn’t sure was his most days. It was a fight, more bloody than any battlefield he had ever stood on, and Jason never knew when he might lose it again.

Distantly, he was glad his lovers had learned not to touch him when he was like this. Once, Dick had made the mistake of trying to hold Jason down the way he himself liked to be, and Jason had just about choked him out. That hadn’t improved the situation for anyone.

Slowly, slowly, Jason took stock of his surroundings. He was on his side, curled up as if to protect himself from blows. The lights were on. The room was quiet, but he was not alone.

Tim had turned his laptop on the nightstand so Jason could see it every time he opened his eyes, displaying the surveillance footage of the cameras around this house in real-time. Jason could feel him sitting right behind him, a silent presence guarding his back.

Only now did Jason allow himself to notice that he was shivering. He was freezing, and the blanket on top of him did nothing to help.  

Damian, he knew, would be just as cold. It was no comfort, just a fact. It was good that he was sitting with Dick, back to back, one of them guarding the door, the other the only window. Jason could see a glint of steel next to them. They were armed.

“I have some heating pads,” Tim told him softly. “Okay if I hand them to you?”

Jason had to actually consider that. Some nights, he preferred the cold to the heat of—the heat. “Yes.”

“Here’s one.” Tim gingerly reached over to Jason’s front, taking care not to touch him. “And here’s the other.”

Jason shoved one of them down to his stomach, to alleviate the cramps this tension would inevitably cause. The other, though, he kept clutched into his hand, holding on for life.

Tim settled in behind him again. No one spoke.  

With his lovers protecting him, twin points of heat slowly warming the ice in his chest, Jason thought he might just make it through the night.

[littlewhitetie]

“Keith.” Allura’s voice is hushed over the comms. “He’s getting worse.” 

In the background, harsh, strained coughing reverberates through the chambers of the Blue Lion. Keith’s knuckles bleach white as he tightens his grip on Black’s controls. 

“He doesn’t want you to know,” Allura says, “but I thought you should.” 

Why doesn’t he want me to know? he wants to ask. Why doesn’t he want to travel with me anymore? 

It’s not because of the Black Lion. Keith could read it in the way Shiro wouldn’t look at him directly, in the space he kept between them. Shiro didn’t want to be here because of him, and it hurt. 

He wants to ask why, ask what he did wrong, but he can’t. He literally, physically, can’t. 

“How are you doing?” Allura asks. “Are you alright?” 

 He nods, though he doesn’t know what else she expects him to do when he can’t speak. 

“I’ll try again when we reach our next stop,” she vows. “But that druid’s curse is more complex than anything I’ve seen before.” 

A thud from behind startles her. 

“I’ll go check on him,” she says with false calm, then leaps out of her seat.

She doesn’t disconnect the comm line, nor does she shut the door to the cockpit behind her, and soon, Keith can hear faint voices in the background. 

“Shiro, are you— what happened? What is this?” 

Shiro’s response is too quiet for Keith to make out the words.

“Please don’t lie to me,” she says.

Shiro says something, cut off by hacking coughs. Allura murmurs something in a soothing tone. He says something else, and she replies, “…Alright. I won’t.”

Keith can’t parse most of Shiro’s words, but he can pick out, “—Keith?”

“I won’t tell him. I promise.” 

Keith clenches his jaw. What won’t you tell me? 

“Go lie down. I’ll clean up,” she says. “…It’s fine, Shiro, honestly. I’ll handle it. Just rest.”

It’s several doboshes before Allura returns to the cockpit. Her face is pale, drawn. Quietly, she asks, “Did you hear all of that?”

Keith shakes his head. 

“Well… good,” she says, though her averted gaze and pursed lips say otherwise. She’s easy to read when she wants to be, and she’s telling him loud and clear there’s something he’s missing. 

He tilts his head in question, but she shakes her head. 

“I’m sorry.” 

With a growl, he cuts the transmission with more force than necessary. He tucks his knees into his chest and squeezes his eyes shut.

It’s been three weeks since he faced off against that druid—three long, frustrating weeks—and the aphasia hasn’t shown any improvement. 

He never realized just how much he relied on words until now. Beyond the obvious difficulties that arise in leading the team, without being able to partake in conversations with the other paladins or even type commands, he has nothing to occupy his time as they travel back to Earth. He doesn’t have anyone to keep him company: his mom isn’t with them anymore, his wolf has decided he likes riding with Pidge, and Shiro left him for Allura. 

There’s nothing for Keith to do but stew in his own aggravation and worry. Worry about the state of the universe, worry about not being able to form Voltron, worry about Shiro. Shiro’s sick, and now it’s confirmed he’s hiding something. Something Allura won’t tell Keith about. 

Keith lets himself be angry. Because being angry is better than being afraid.

A ping from his personal device signals an incoming message: a photo from Allura. No, not Allura—there’s a green paw obscuring part of the photo, and the blue light falls around shadows with ears. The photo is from the mice.

Past the magnified paw is a waste bin, set against the blue of the Lion’s floor. It contains crumpled crimson flower petals, streaked with blood. 

Keith frowns. They haven’t set foot on a planet in weeks, and that planet didn’t even have flowering vegetation. The petals in the bin are fresh. Where did they come from? And why is there blood on them? 

He can’t figure it out, so he opens the comm line to Hunk, Pidge, and Lance, and sends them the photo—maybe one of them can help figure out what this is.

“What the heck?” Lance asks. 

Hunk makes a disgusted face. “Eugh, is that—is that blood?” 

Pidge goes pale, a hand pressed to her mouth. She knows something. “This—this photo was taken inside the Blue Lion,” she utters. “…Shiro’s in the Blue Lion.”

Keith nods. 

“Shiro must have Hanahaki,” she says, quietly. 

“What’s that?” Lance asks.

“It’s a disease,” she says, “caused by a parasite that causes flowers to grow in a person’s lungs.”

“Oh, ew,” Hunk says.

“It’s bad,” she says. “No one knows exactly how it works from a pathophysiological point of view, but the disease only manifests in people who’re experiencing strong feelings of unrequited romantic love. The parasite kind of... feeds off of those feelings.”

“That sounds like a fairytale,” Lance says.

“Maybe, yeah, but it’s legit. My mom worked with some researchers studying it. It’s real, and it’s…” Pidge’s eyes flit away from the screen. “…It’s fatal.”

Cold nausea floods Keith’s core. She’s wrong. She has to be wrong. 

“And you think Shiro has this?” Hunk asks.

“It looks like it,” Pidge says. “The hallmark symptom of Hanahaki is coughing up flowers. Shiro’s had that really bad cough for a while, and there isn’t anywhere else those petals could’ve come from.” 

Hunk swallows. “So Shiro’s in love and it’s… killing him?” 

“There has to be a cure,” Lance says, desperately. 

Pidge’s eyes glisten. “The only people who’ve ever gotten better are the ones whose feelings ended up being returned. Otherwise…” 

A grave silence falls over them. 

How did he get it? Keith wants to ask. Who is he sick for? How could they possibly not love him back? 

But nobody asks any further questions. They just sit there, not saying a word. 

Keith drives his fingernails into the meat of his palms and wills his lip not to tremble. They’ll figure something out. They will. They have to. He digs his nails deeper, deeper.

Sensing his distress, his wolf poofs into the Black Lion’s cockpit next to him. At the base of the seat, he nuzzles Keith’s leg, offering comfort. Keith drops to his knees and clings to him with his eyes squeezed shut, burying his face in long, thick fur. 

They fly in sombre silence until they reach the next star system, setting down on an ochre swirled planet with a dry, dusty surface. Occasional gusts of wind blow swirls of particles in the air. Readings show it’s safe to breathe here, though oxygen levels are on the low side. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for Shiro to go outside here,” Pidge says. 

“Agreed,” Allura says. “He’s resting anyway. Keith, I’ll look at that curse again. Why don’t you come over to the Blue Lion?”

Immediately, the wolf teleports him into the Blue Lion’s cockpit. Allura jumps in her seat at the sudden intrusion, but relaxes quickly. 

“Okay. The rest of us’ll be back in a few vargas,” Lance says. “Take a look around, stretch our legs; give the Lions a little time to recharge.”

The wolf vanishes to join them, leaving Allura and Keith alone in the cockpit. She surveys him, taking in his pinched brow and drawn shoulders. “Keith, what’s wrong?” 

Keith pulls out his personal device and shows her the picture sent by the mice.

“Do you know what this is?” she asks in a hushed voice.

Keith nods.

“It’s bad, then,” she surmises.

Tears gather at the corners of his eyes. He can’t look at her directly. He taps his throat and slides down to the floor of the cockpit. 

“Of course,” Allura says, kneeling over him. “Let’s get started.” 

Keith closes his eyes. Her magic is warm and cool at the same time. Carefully, it pulls, explores. It’s strange, but not unpleasant, and he finds himself drifting off.

Eventually, the magic tapers out. “Alright,” she says.

He snaps his eyes open and sits up, facing her. She’s drained.

“That’s as much as I can do for now,” she says. “I’m starting to get a clearer picture of what’s been done to you, but it will take some time for me to figure out how to undo it. I don’t know how long. I’m sorry.” 

He places a hand on her arm, thanking her. 

“Go ahead and catch up with the others,” she says. “I can stay here with Shiro.”

Keith shakes his head, pointing at himself, and then the floor. I’ll stay. He gestures at her and nods toward the Lion’s mouth: you go ahead. 

She presses her lips together. “If you’re sure. If you need anything, call, and we’ll come right back.” 

He nods and heads down to where Shiro is resting. He picks up the pace when he hears coughing. It’s persistent and doesn’t let up until a door slams shut, cutting it off abruptly. 

When Keith reaches the belly of the Lion, Shiro isn’t in bed. The lights of the tiny bathroom are on, the door sealed shut. Keith knocks on the door. No answer. He knocks again, more desperate this time. 

“I’m—I’m okay,” Shiro gasps, voice barely audible through thick steel. “I’m okay. Don’t worry about me.”

No, Keith wants to say. I will always worry about you. But all he can do is wait until the toilet flushes, the water runs, and the door opens from the inside.

Shiro staggers out as he wipes the back of his mouth with his wrist. Keith moves to steady him, but Shiro recoils. “Keith? What are you doing here?” 

Keith deflates. Don’t look too excited to see me, now. He points to the cot. Shiro makes his way there on his own, refusing Keith’s proffered arm. 

As soon as Shiro drops to a seat, Keith takes out his personal device and shoves it in his face, showing him the picture the mice took of the petals. 

Shiro blanches, then grits his teeth. “So much for keeping a secret.”

Keith takes a seat beside him. He half expects Shiro to move away when he scoots closer, but he stays where he is.

“I’m guessing you know what this is, then,” Shiro says. “What it means.”

Keith nods. 

“So you understand why I stopped travelling with you.” 

Keith shakes his head.

“I’m sorry for leaving,” Shiro says. “But I didn’t want you to find out it was Hanahaki. I didn’t want you to blame yourself.” 

Keith points at himself, brows furrowed in confusion. 

“It’s not your fault. You can’t help the way you feel, or don’t feel, about me.”

Keith points to the photo, then to himself again, disbelief plain on his face. 

Shiro gives him a small smile. “Yeah. You. Of course it’s you. I know you only see me as a brother, but I still…” 

Keith shakes his head and surges forward to kiss him.

Instead of meeting his lips, Shiro pushes him away. “Keith, what are you doing?” 

Keith levels him with a flat stare—what does it look like I’m doing?—and leans in again, slower this time. 

“Keith, no,” Shiro says, holding him back with a firm grip. “I appreciate you trying, I really do, but that’s not how this disease works. You can’t just fake it.” 

Keith shakes his head. He pats his chest. It’s real. There’s nothing fake about it.

“You can’t just force yourself to fall in love with someone,” Shiro says. “Even if you wanted to.” 

Keith shakes his head more vigorously and grabs Shiro’s hand with both of his, placing it over his heart.

“I know,” Shiro says. “What we have… It should be enough, shouldn’t it.”

Keith shakes his head again, desperate. That’s not what I meant. He thumps Shiro’s hand against his chest. Listen to me.

“I’m sorry, Keith,” Shiro whispers. 

No. No, don’t be sorry. Tears gather in his lashes. He squeezes Shiro’s hand too tightly, beating it against his chest again. Listen to me!

“Hey,” Shiro says, bringing his forehead to rest against Keith’s. “It’s alright. You’ll be okay.” 

A sob escapes Keith’s throat as the tears spill over and down his cheeks. No, no, no. He can’t— he can’t—

Shiro starts coughing again. He pushes Keith away and reaches for the bucket. As he coughs and coughs, clusters of red petals tumble from his lips and into the bin.

It takes far too long for the fit to subside. Finally, Shiro sets the bin down and slumps over, heaving for breath. 

Keith keeps him from falling over and carefully guides him to lie on his side. 

“Sorry,” he rasps, eyelids fluttering. “...Think I need to rest more, but we can talk later, okay?”

Keith gives a light snort.

“Right,” Shiro says, his lips just barely quirking up. “You know what I mean.” 

But you don’t know what I mean.

Cautiously, Keith reaches forward to touch Shiro’s face. He cups his cheek and smooths the pad of his thumb over Shiro’s cheekbone. The gesture is tender, intimate. 

Shiro’s lips part, eyes going wide for a moment. “Keith?” he whispers. 

Keith’s gaze is soft as he strokes Shiro’s cheek. He stays like that until Shiro’s eyes fall shut. 

After he’s asleep, Keith lies down and tucks himself against Shiro’s body. He presses his ear to Shiro’s chest. His breath rattles, too shallow. 

There’s not enough room in Shiro’s lungs, and it’s all Keith’s fault. 

You’re my brother. He should have explained better what he’d meant: you’re the family I’ve always wanted. You’re everything to me. But he’d stayed quiet, left room for misinterpretation, and now, Shiro’s suffering for it. Dying because of it.  

Tears spill sideways down his face. He buries his face in Shiro’s shirt and cries until he falls asleep.

...

Keith’s training has made him a light sleeper, and he wakes as soon as Shiro stirs. 

“Keith? You’re… still here?”

Keith nods. Of course I am. His fingertips skim over the curve of Shiro’s cheekbone before skittering to his jaw, angling his face to look into his eyes and holding his gaze.

Shiro starts coughing. Keith helps him to sit up and holds the waste bin for him. He winces as too many red petals work their way past his lips. There’s no room in his lungs for air at all.

He lets Shiro slump against him when he’s done, staying like that until he catches his breath again. When Shiro pulls back, Keith picks up Shiro’s helmet and tips his head toward the Lion’s mouth.

“You want us to go outside?”

Keith nods.

“Alright.”

Keith places Shiro’s helmet over his head and helps him to his feet, guiding him toward the exit. 

“Where are we going?” Shiro asks once they step out onto the ramp.

Keith points to the Black Lion, a short distance away.

“Oh,” Shiro says. “…Okay.”

He gestures at the Black Lion, taps his wrist, then back toward the Blue Lion. Just for a bit. Then you can come back, if you want to. 

Shiro tilts his head, not understanding what Keith is trying to say. Keith tries again, but Shiro just says, “I’ll follow your lead.” 

Keith walks with Shiro toward the other Lion. Grit kicks up from the planet’s surface and stings Keith’s exposed, helmet-less face, irritating his throat when he inhales too deeply.

Shiro is winded after a few paces and falters moments after they set foot on solid ground. Keith catches him, steadying him as he coughs up petals that get trapped behind his visor.

Keith considers turning back, but this important. Worth the risk. He slips Shiro’s arm over his shoulder and bears his weight as they make their way to the other Lion, one step at a time.

When they finally reach the Lion’s jaws and enter the cockpit, Shiro all but collapses, too drained for grace. Keith brings them to sit on the floor and takes Shiro’s helmet off. He brushes the petals that escape from Shiro’s shoulders and chest.

After Shiro’s breathing has evened out a bit, Keith gestures around them, then brings his fingertips to his temples and closes his eyes. He peeks his eyes open to see if Shiro caught that.

Shiro’s brow furrows as he tries to decipher what Keith is trying to say. “You want me… to focus. On the Lion.”

Keith rolls his wrist, gesturing for him to keep going. He waves at everything around them, then points to his eyes, closing them again with intention. 

“You want me to see through the Lion’s eyes,” Shiro guesses. “Go into its consciousness.”

Keith nods.

“I can’t do that anymore,” Shiro says. “My connection was severed.”

Keith grabs his hand and squeezes tight, nodding resolutely.

“But I—I can try. For you.” 

Keith smiles and laces their fingers together.

Desperately, he wills the Black Lion to connect with Shiro. Please. Please. He needs this. They need this.

It takes a few tries—reaching, grasping, pleading—but eventually, Shiro’s presence flickers into the shared mind space. It’s faint, but it’s there. He can do this.

Keith can’t remember how to use words, but he can project his emotions. So he tears his heart open and lets his feelings bleed through the bond.

He focuses on the way, even after all these years, his heart leaps into his throat when he looks at Shiro; the way it leaps higher still when Shiro’s lips pull up into a smile. How his breath catches when his name rolls off Shiro’s tongue. How his nervous system is set ablaze with each glancing touch. 

He digs deeper and draws out the raw, ugly emotions he’d tried to hide and hide from. The jealousy he’d felt back at the Garrison whenever he saw Shiro with Adam, the way he’d cried himself to sleep when he’d found out they were engaged. The horrible spark of joy that had sprung forth when Adam broke it off. The shameful pleasure he’d indulged in so many nights when he’d close his eyes and think of Shiro. The constant, painful longing that never went away, only grew stronger with time. He wants, still wants. Wants to kiss, touch, taste, fuck. Wants all of him, in every way. 

He pours everything he has into the Lion’s space and lets loose the vast, all encompassing love that consumes and overwhelms him. It’s more than I would die for you; it’s I will die if I’m without you. It’s terrifying. It’s immeasurable. Shiro is his world, his universe, everything. 

He strips himself bare, bleeds himself dry. When there’s nothing left to reveal, Keith opens his eyes.

Tears trickle down Shiro’s cheeks. “Keith,” he whispers, releasing a shuddering breath. “I… You…”

Keith nods. He brings both hands to cradle Shiro’s face, runs his thumb over Shiro’s lower lip. Shiro’s white lashes flutter closed.

Keith leans forward. His lips and teeth and tongue won’t give him syllables, but they can give him this. 

When their mouths meet, the kiss is slow, insistent, tender, desperate. It's everything Keith has, everything he can give. It’s all the I love you’s that went unsaid; all the things he wants to say. 

The tones that greet Keith’s tongue are sickly sweet with an iron finish, but he doesn’t shy away. He kisses him and kisses him until Shiro pulls back, gasping for breath.

Shiro starts coughing. Panic ices over Keith’s veins. It—it wasn’t enough? But—

Crimson petals and blood spatter the floor of the Black Lion. More and more come, progressing from petals to entire flowers. Shiro coughs and coughs, his lips turning blue from lack of oxygen.

Keith’s heart lodges in his throat. There’s nothing he can do but watch flower after flower tumble past Shiro’s lips. Flowers, and then— something else, thin and branched and coated in crimson. 

Roots. 

They’re horrifying. But they’re out. 

Shiro collapses in Keith’s arms. He’s unconscious, but he’s breathing better, deeper. The rise and fall of his chest is steady; there’s no rattle. 

Keith rests Shiro’s head in his lap, running his fingers through his hair. He doesn’t move until Shiro wakes.

Eventually, Shiro makes a quiet noise in his throat. “Keith.” His voice is shot, a ragged whisper. 

Keith places a hand over his chest and tilts his head, a question in his eyes.

The corners of Shiro’s lips curve up as he tangles his fingers in Keith’s hair and drags him down for a chaste kiss. “Yeah,” Shiro says, smiling against his lips. “I’m alright. I’m gonna be fine.” 

…

The following weeks are quiet in the Black Lion, but the silence is bearable with Shiro at Keith’s side.

And eventually, Allura begins to unravel the druid’s curse.

Keith’s library of words is a mess, the contents of his lexicon all mixed up and scattered, and putting them back together is a dizzying struggle. His hand falters over letters; his tongue stutters over syllables. There are too many consonants, too many shapes to each vowel, too many ways they fit together. 

But one string of letters comes easy, soft and smooth. An anchor in his sea of word fragments, safe and familiar. His mouth moves just right as he breathes, “Shiro.” 

[fredheads]

More fred sickcanons would be good. Great actually.

:’) i always hope you guys will give me these but ok i’ll do my best! 

you know that post about the girl who had so many bananas and op put 2 more on her desk and she said “oh my god i have so many” thats me with my fred sickcanons i have so many 

he HATES losing his voice because he needs it for work/dad reasons so he’ll absolutely carry a little notebook around and angrily scribble at people and sometimes they tease him pretending like they dont understand and he gets so exasperated and throws his hands up :’) he and archie can read each other really well in general but once when one of them was sick for a long time they developed their own basic sign language that no one else understands but them 

sometimes he gets nosebleeds when he’s sick from blowing/wiping his nose too much and it makes a mess on his pillowcase but fred has to clean everything right away so he’ll get out of bed and do a whole load of laundry and that involves walking around the whole house picking up socks and whatnot 

hes gonna push push push push to keep going until the point where someone gets fed up with him pretending he’s ok or he flat out collapses to the ground. 

sometimes he sleeps in the basement when he’s sick because it’s cooler down there and he won’t disturb archie with his constant coughing and sneezing but the pull-out couch is so uncomfy and he’s all achy in the morning

the sun always makes him feel better if he can sit somewhere and feel the sun on his sick achy face it helps so much :’) 

if he has to sleep in clothes its gonna be a loose tshirt thats gonna be soaked with sweat by the time he gets up

he doesn’t own a humidifier so sometimes he boils water just to hold the cup and feel the steam on his face

the more pillows in his bed the better, but he’s going to throw them all off by the end of the night

in winter he likes to be snoodled under ridiculous amounts of blankets, like 5 or 6. 

he loves having his face and neck touched especially if you’re cold and his skin is hot 

when the fatigue gets really bad he can’t hold his own head up and he gets all limp and noodly 

he will refuse to take a bath no matter how much you insist it will help. shower or bust. if he can’t handle a shower he’ll sponge bathe himself.

because he doesn’t usually collapse until he really needs it, he can sleep for a good 12 hours uninterrupted when he’s sick. like the dead. you have to hold a mirror to his face to see if he’s breathing. 

speaking of breathing it gets really hard when he’s all congested and he’s gasping for breath sometimes.  especially after a coughing fit he’ll be doubled over struggling to breathe... nice

coughing so hard his lungs hurt.. nice

forehead kisses. its all he wants. and back rubs. 

sometimes he’ll want to get up but the whole room will be spinning and he’ll ask whoever’s near to make it stop so he can stand. 

he lowkey falls in love with anyone who takes care of him for any amount of time. 

he’s always cracking jokes about how sick he is even if he’s literally near death. in fact the sicker he is the more flippant he is about it. 

he very rarely gets sick in the first place so when he does it hits like a freight train. he will never see it coming because he ignores all the signs. 

if his cold develops into something worse (flu, pneumonia, bronchitis) he’ll blatantly ignore all the warning signs and continue insisting “its just a cold” 

he’s always cleaning up after himself. emptying his trash full of tissues. disinfecting the stuff he touches in the kitchen. washing out his puke bucket. washing his bedsheets and pyjamas. he wont listen to you if you tell him to stay put and not worry about it. 

sometimes he sleeps lightly and then he’ll make little whimpers and fits in his sleep and you have to touch him or comb his hair to calm him down

sometimes he gets so cold he cant stop shivering 

sometimes when he gets sick its because hes so exhausted from work/stress/murders that his immune system is just totally depleted

he likes to brag about how he never gets sick until it hits him

SOMEONE ELSE WASHING HIS HAIR FOR HIM MAKES HIM FEEL SO GOOD

he misses his dad the most when he’s sick

hes so so so so touch starved he wants to be taken care of so bad but he’ll never ask 

he has nightmares more often when he sleeps sick and the worst ones are always about archie getting hurt. he talks in his sleep. 

he shows up to work with bruises he got from uncoordinatedly walking into walls and smacking his cheekbone on the medicine cabinet and whatnot

sometimes he’s inclined to go without medicine cause he’s had an addictive personality since he was a kid and he doesn’t want to risk getting hooked

its the only time he lets himself look disheveled and sometimes he’ll try hard to clean himself up and comb his hair but the disheveled-ness is still there just less obvious and you can tell he’s trying to look presentable bless his heart

if he’s really out of it he’ll definitely call his caretaker by the wrong name he’ll call hermione mary or mary fp or fp archie 

ooh sometimes he puts an electric fan on pointed at his bed if he’s sick during the summer and its on the low setting so it just barely ruffles his hair and his loose shirt... :’)

sometimes when he gets up hes so dizzy but he’s so determined to do it and then he’ll stand up and be so close to collapsing he has to sit down again

he’s definitely vomited in a desk drawer at work before. then just shut it and waited until he can clean it up in privacy. 

if he’s really out of it or losing control he’ll make the saddest little whimper noises

he’s really good at being sick overall, he takes it in stride and he’s a champ at hiding it but those rare occasions it breaks him down... nice

he will take every excuse to press his sweaty feverish skin against something cold (it helps w the nausea too) be it a table or a fridge or a wall or a cold glass of water or someone’s shoulder... but then he’ll deny what he’s doing it for 

i have to stop bc ive been staring at this screen forever but tell me if you want anything specific cause i could go on...

[sicklylittlesnowflake]

Prompt: "I’m really feverish and I haven’t noticed you and this sneeze just won’t come out and I’m pulling the most ridiculous build up you’ve ever seen and shit now I’ve noticed you this is fucking awkward sorry" (I can imagine this with Klance and them being roommates or somthing. Lance coming home a finding Keith in miserable sneezy limbo and Lance just teasing him about it until he decides to help him out.)

(I lowkey love when posts I make come back to me omg!!! Also this is my first time ever writing voltron au!! I’ve always written canon verse!! So forgive me, and I have no time, so here’s a ficlet!Also great timing bc Keith’s vlog has me dead tbh)

Keith had a lot of pride.

He was fairly confident in his abilities, he had worked hard for them, and he was happy with the outcome. There were a few things about himself that he held dearly to his heart and was determined to not let them go, and with good reason. Some things, however, were slightly irrational.

Keith held pride for the fact that without fail he would always miss and avoid the annoying bout of sickness that seemed to plague everyone in school for the first while back. The plague skipped over Keith religiously every year. He’d missed it on his  first day on his last year in middle school, he’d missed it on his freshman year of high school, and he had done so on his first day of college.

He would never admit it, but deep down he knew how ridiculous this was. It was something Keith wasn’t embarrassed to show off, and boasted about constantly whenever it came up in conversation. Shiro and Lance were very close to jamming their ears out every year, without a fail, with how much Keith prided himself in this meticulous thing.

But Karma was a bitch.

He had supposed his constant teasing of Lance since they met their first day of high school finally came back to haunt him. Keith wouldn’t admit it, but he kinda deserved it.

He went through a denial to begin with, telling himself he’d just suddenly developed some allergy, and that was why he had woken up sneezing all over the place. It had left him breathless, monstrous sneezing ripping out of his throat, echoing off the thin walls of his and Lance’s dorm room.

He was a mess. Hair all over the place, sticking up in places where it shouldn’t, horribly reddened and chapped nose and the most bloodshot eyes he’d ever had. Keith was just glad Lance had a morning class that day, and that Keith didn’t have any classes until 4:30 later that day.

Keith coughed harshly, dragging himself out of bed and staggering over to Lance’s part of the room and grabbing the box of tissues he always kept on his bedside table. He resented the fact he needed them, and he was still kind of in denial. He was not sick. Not at all.

Keith blew his nose furiously into the tissue, hating the way the tissue felt soggy and all sorts of disgusting afterwards. He loathed it, and wished the cold virus had fucked off and gone to someone else. The cold virus didn’t look too bad on Lance, but the little shit never looked bad. Keith blushed furiously as he caught himself in his thoughts. He finished his trail of thoughts with the conclusion that it was not a good look on him.

Once he finished, he felt a little lightheaded and woozy. The world spun slightly, and everything in the universe was telling him to sit still and wait for it to steady again, but he was Keith, and everything was a challenge.

Keith forced himself to stand up, but the moment he did he was hit by a tidal wave of nausea that hit him in the gut, and an astounding shot of pain induced tremors throughout his head. The intense pain caused his knees to buckle, and Keith tried to find something to hold onto but the attempt was futile, because  he was tipping over and collapsing onto the floor.

“Oh for fucks sake,” Keith hissed to himself, trying to pick up his heavy and weak bones from the floor but to no avail. Keith coughed, the sound resonating from his chest as a wave of pain rang through his chest as he coughed. His chest ached horribly against the floor as he coughed.

Keith somehow managed to drag his heavy body up, only for an insistent tickling in his nose to make his breath hitch wildly. He snapped forward with a harsh, unrestrained sneeze that sprayed Lance’s bed, the force so strong he toppled over onto the bed.

“..Not sick..” He mumbled to himself, wanting to get off the bed and be productive to prove it to himself, but Lance’s bed was so soft and welcoming. His sheets were pleasantly crisp and cool, perfectly made. His pillow smelt of him, that flowery scent of his shampoo, the clean scent of his hand cream and moisturiser. So perfectly Lance that Keith was melting into it.

Keith hugged the pillow, letting its warmth engulf him into a heaven of softness. The thought of Lance made him go a deeper shade of pink, and thinking about him lifted his heavy head towards a better place filled with singing birds and swaying trees.

Then he was lulled back to sleep.

Keith woke a bit later, not quite knowing when, he’d lost his sense of time, to an annoying tickle in his nose. His chest heaved as his body began to succumb to the sneeze, breath hitching as his nostrils flared irritably. Keith tried to stubbornly scrub vigorously at his nose, still in denial of the state he was in.

But to no avail, his body was winning over him, as much as Keith hated to admit it. He managed to lift himself up with his elbows, gasping for air until he took one shaky inhale and fell into an intense sneezing fit that left him breathless.

Keith let out monstrous sneeze that sprayed across Lance’s bed, a brief, very short moment of clarity and relief coming to him before another round of intense prickling flooded his sinuses. Immediately he launched into yet another harsh and powerful sneeze that doubled him over.

Keith managed to clasp his two hands over his reddened face, feeling his nose tremble as it built up for another round of harsh sneezes. His body was racked by the new wave of sneezes, by the force of it. He kept sneezing, feeling a bit tired and couldn’t hold his hands to his face as they shook too much and went into another uncovered fit.

He felt absolutely miserable, his nose running and eyes red with irritated tears. All he could really concentrate on was the sound of his intense sneezing and the ticklish feeling in his sinuses. Everything else faded. Keith geared up for his next sneeze, but was left hanging in an awfully unsatisfying crescendo that had been building up to this very moment, the peak of the music, but it never came.

And just a little bit ago Keith would have done anything to deny his illness, but now more than anything Keith just wanted it to happen. He just needed to get this sneeze out, and he looked plain ridiculous, looking up with one side of his nose scrunches up and twitching with anticipation, his breath continuing to hitch as itchy tears threatened to fall from his irritated eyes.

“..What the fuck?” Lance gaped.

“N..n..” Keith tries to respond, but he can’t speak, too preoccupied with this tortuous sneezy limbo and the absolute shame flooding him. He doesn’t want to admit the truth, it’s deflating his pride way too much, which is so ridiculous, he knows that, but he can’t help how pathetic he feels for being sick.

“I’m uh..uh..tryi..trying to..sn..sn!!” Keith tried to make out through his hitchy, dazed voice, beginning to fan at his face desperately.

A victorious smirk crept onto Lance’s face. He crossed his arms and flashed him a grin, suddenly straightening in pride and amusement.

“So, you’re sick, huh?” Lance taunted playfully, his eyes gleaming with a mischievous light.

“No !!..im…not!” Keith protested breathily.

“Hmm,” Lance chuckles, “sure thing, Jan.”

“I just..need to..” Keith tried his best to speak, but was still overtaken by the insistent, incoming sneeze that just wouldn’t come out.

“Well well well, Keith fucking Kogane has finally caught the Fresher’s Flu. A bit late, sure, but it’s happened!” Lance exclaimed with gusto, extremely pleased with himself.

Keith could only squint as he tried to get the sneeze out of his system, nostrils flaring in a manner he believed to be horrendous and embarrassing.

“Now you’re in this sneezy limbo, like I have every single year on the first day, and now you have to suffer through it as a punishment for your relentless teasing! Karma truly is a bitch, ain’t she, Kogane?” Lance giggled, slightly bouncing from his excitement.

Lance kept rambling about his amusement, but Keith couldn’t concentrate on him as the intense tickling in his sinuses was way too much anyway. This limbo was too much, and Keith couldn’t bare one more second of it. The sneeze was right there, just at the end of the floodgates, waiting for the key to turn and unlock so it could just release.

Keith grew impatient, and he snapped.

“Lance, I’m sick! J..just shut up and help me sneeze!”

Lance grinned with victory and nodded, “Alright, sick boy!”

Lance approached Keith and tapped him on the nose, “Boop!~”

Keith finally took in a shaky inhale and when the sneeze finally came out of the floodgates, Keith had never felt more satisfied and complete in his life.

“Bless you!” Lance offered as he passed Keith a tissue to blow his nose with.

“Now, will you let me take care of you?” Lance asked gently, the softest smile framing his face.

Keith blushed hard, “W-what?”

“..I mean..you have to be sitting on my bed for a reason, Keith,” Lance stated, a little awkwardly.

Keith turned a deeper shade of red as he was hit by the sudden realisation of what he had just been doing.

“U-uh..I-I can explain–”

Lance could only smile softly, “You..don’t have to say anything. Just..let me take care of you?”

Keith had a lot of pride. It took over him sometimes, and it stopped him from doing many things, and often held him back from experiences. But somehow against all odds Keith was able to put it aside. For Lance.

He nodded shyly, as Lance climbed onto bed with him and wrapped his warm body around Keith’s shivering frame. Lance draped the blanket over the both of them, running his hands through Keith’s hair soothingly. Everything about Keith’s DNA would’ve made this moment awkward, but something felt so right. So in place.

“Are you really here, or am I dreaming..I can’t tell dreams from truth…” Lance sang softly, his lyrical tenor voice so sweet and comforting to his ears, lulling him into a peaceful rest.

Fresher’s Flu wasn’t as bad as Keith had anticipated, with Lance by his side. Lance took care of him well, so well that Keith wondered why he was so against the idea of getting sick when he had Lance to be there for him. It was almost like he had missed out.

And while Lance complained three days later when he woke up sneezing, he did not regret a thing.

[stevenrogers5-blog]

Kiwi

Summary: Bucky and you loved messing around. But it became more and you don’t know if Bucky is ready for all of that. But because of a trip to the hospital, he realizes he is ready for it all. 

Warnings: cute shit. that is all

A/N: my family left for the day so i have so many hours to write and i’m super excited! so be ready for a the spam the next day or two!! much love XX

It had been a hell of a month. Mission after Mission. You were ready to leave it all at the bottom of some liquor bottle and at the last puff of the pack of cigarettes. You sit down on the chair outside on the balcony. You go to light a cigarette as you hear the sliding door open. You turn your head to catch a glimpse of Natasha walking towards you.

“You know who really shouldn’t be smoking. Your lungs are gonna hate you for it during the next training session,” Nat says as she takes a seat next to you. She pops open the bottle of alcohol and takes a swig.

“You are one to talk, that will kill your liver. I guess we'll just have to see who will die first,” You reply before taking another drag of your cigarette. You blow the stream of smoke straight into the air before looking at Nat.

“You know the boys find that hot actually. They were just in there fighting over who would come out and keep you company,” She takes a swig “But looks like i won.”

“Not surprised,” You add before laughing. You guys sit in comfortable silence before you decide to break it. “So i’m probably go sleep with Bucky again.”

“Oh really? And how is being FWBs going for you?” She asks before setting the bottle between her legs.

“Good. He is great in bed. Just as great in his work,” you simply state as you put out your cigarette. “I mean is it such a bad thing? He doesn’t seem to be too upset about it. He has stopped bringing those girls here.”

“Which none of us are complaining about. I’m happy you guys are happy. But just make sure you guys don’t get too far into it. There are certain points you will reach that will be a little too hard to get away from,” She explains as she places the bottle on her lips. She lets the liquid go down her throat before handing it to you. You take it and do that same before giving it back to her.

“I know. And we are being safe. It’s just so fun having him there…” You trail off before looking down at your legs. “I am just gonna keep having fun. One day it may change for all of us. But for now… I’m gonna enjoy myself.” And with that, you were up and leaving Nat in the silent sound of the city. You head inside, looking for the man that made you enjoy yourself.

It was a few weeks later and you were to be meeting Nat and Steve at some Vegan lunch Steve had requested you should go too. You woke up feeling under the weather but you didn’t want to leave Nat to suffer through that by herself. So you got ready, taking some medicine, praying that it would help. You throw your leather jacket, that matches Steve’s, on and head out the door.

You walk the stairs of the subway, consumed by the noses of the people and city. You walk slowly though, as the stomach pains are still coming in waves. Once on your train, you take a seat and look out the window into the dark tunnel. You sigh as the pain subsides once again as the train makes its way to your destination.

Once you have arrived, you step off and regret it completely. The motion causes something in you and you go into a dead sprint to find the nearest trash can. Your dip your head into one and spill out your breakfast from hours before. After the last of it comes out, you sigh as your legs feel completely weak. You slip down to the dirty floor, not caring, as you pull your phone out. You scroll weakly as Steve’s name pops up. It only takes seconds before you hear Steve’s voice come over the speaker.

“Where are Y/N? Nat and i are waiting,” He huffs into the phone, annoyance lacing his voice. You sit silently for a few seconds before your weak voice comes out.

“I can’t move..” You mumble, a tear slipping out of your eye. “I just threw up and now i can’t move. I feel completely weak and my legs don’t want to move.”

“Oh god Y/N,” Steve replies. You here a few muffled exchanges before his voice returns to your ears. “Where are you?”

“The subway near the restaurant. Sitting on the disgusting floor. Please come get me,” You say just above a whisper.

“We are on our way,” Steve says, trying to hide his worry with reassurance. You hang up and sit for a few more seconds before another wave of nausea hits you, hard. Your body gets the strength it needs to hoist yourself up and over the trash can once again. You throw up whatever was left in your system.

You feel a big hand on your back as another  pulls your hair out of your face. You look up to see Nat standing across from you then turn slightly to see Steve is the one holding your hair. You groan in pain as your legs go weak again, threatening to show your weak state once again.

“God, she is so pale. Steve, you will have to carry her,” Nat says as she rounds the trash can to pull your hair up into a messy bun. Once she is done, Steve picks you up, wrapping his massive hands around your body. You sling your hands weakly around his neck as they make their way back to the Tower.

Once in a hospital bed, Banner has some blood work done, trying to figure out what is up. He swabs your throat and then hooks you up to an IV. You lay there silently, Steve and Nat never leaving your side. After what feels like an eternity, Banner comes walking in and motions for Steve and Nat to come into the hallway with him. You sigh as you get concerned over whatever they were discussing. You go over every disease you knew as they make their way back into the room.

“Y/N, we have news..” Banner trails off, looking over at Steve.

“Yeah, now please don’t panic,” Steve says as he takes your hand in his. Panic makes it up your body.

“Babe… You’re pregnant..” Nat says as she takes your other hand. You sit in silence before starting to cry. “Oh no, babe, please don’t cry!”

“I fucking told him that it was not worth the risk! But no, we still had to have sex without a fucking condom!” You exclaim, pulling away from Steve and Nat. They sit down next to your legs, letting you cry and curse Bucky.

Once the tears are no longer coming, you all sit in silence before Steve speaks up.

“I can be there when you tell him. He needs to know.” He mumbles. You look over at him before looking back at the door.

“Thank you,” You respond as so many thoughts run through your head.

Two weeks have passed by and you were noticeably gaining weight. More specifically in the stomach area. This was starting to catch a few members eyes, but they didn’t want to cause drama. Thankfully Steve never left your side. Sadly this did not settle well with Bucky though. See, you were his girl and that fact you were slowly drifting from him to Steve hurt him a lot. So that is how this situation was finally brought to light.

You were standing in the kitchen with Steve as you two were making breakfast. The baby was screaming pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream. So, You told Steve and he got to work.

“You excited for your appointment?” Steve's asks as he places some whipped cream onto a strawberry. He hands it over to you. You take it and take a bite out of it.

“I am very excited! I just hope the baby is doing great! They feel great, from what i can feel. Unfortunately they are still giving mommy terrible morning sickness.” You say, rubbing your small bump. Steve smiles as he looks you up and down. You look up at him and smile. You take his hand and slowly guide it towards your belly.

“Y/N, are you sure?” Steve asks, hesitantly pulling away.

“You wouldn’t hurt them. It’s okay, i trust you.” You answer, pulling his hand closer. You slowly let it go as his hand touches your skin softly. You giggle at the contact, sending warmth into Steve. He smiles softly as he rubs his thumb across the little bump.

“You are the luckiest person! You have the best mommy who loves you with all her heart. If only she would tell daddy.” Steve explains, looking at the bump then at you. You sigh before looking away. You go to speak before another voice interrupts.

“Oh my god..” Bucky mumbles as he tries to take in the scene in front of him. Steve snaps his hand away from your tummy and you roll your shirt down just as fast. “Are you pregnant?! With Steve’s kid?”

“No Bucky.. God no..” Steve says, stepping in between you two. “But i will protect her and the baby if the dad doesn't accept her and the baby.” Bucky looks at you before taking a few steps forward.

“Then tell me, Y/N, who is the dad?” Bucky asks.

“You..” You mumble, looking at your bump. You all stand in silence before Bucky moves Steve away from you. He then lifts your shirt slowly, exposing the bump once again. He places his metal hand on the little bump.

“Bucky..” Steve warns.

“It’s okay Steve,” you say, reassuring him. He moves behind you to continue breakfast but still keeps a close distance. Bucky proceeded to repeat Steve’s earlier actions, running his thumb across the small bump. A tear slips from his eye as his eyes meet yours.

“Mine.” Was all he says before crashing his lips into yours. You guys share a well needed kiss before you pull away. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t accept us. I was gonna have the baby no matter what. I didn’t plan on you to find out like this, but i am happy you did.” You explain.

“You’re my girl. And now the mother of my child. Of course i would accept you guys! I love you guys with all my heart. I can’t wait to be a family.” Bucky answers, wrapping his arms around you.

“We love you, too” You say, sighing contently.

Months passed and the day finally came. You, Bucky, and Steve were all sitting in the living room, watching some mindless show. You were snuggled into Bucky’s side as your feet rested across Steve’s legs. Then it hit you. A sharp pain made it’s way throughout your body, causing you to curl your toes. Steve looks down at your feet then up at your face.

“Y/N, you are sweating and bright red, are you and the baby okay?” Steve asks, causing worry to fill Bucky.

“I think so,” You try to say as coolly as possible. But the contractions were causing your body language to say other wise. Another presented itself, causing you to sit up as fast as your big tummy would let you. You cry out in pain as hot tears threaten to make their way down your face. You reach your hands out to Steve and Bucky as they help you up as fast but as slow as possible. Steve starts coaching you in your breathing as Bucky walks you to the elevator.

The pain subsides as you step into the elevator. Bucky presses the button to the hospital ward of the tower as Steve keeps coaching. You guys start to slow your breathing before you stop breathing altogether.

“Did your water just break?” Steve asks as his socks start to get wet.

“Yep” is all you say as a blush creeps across your face. But it doesn’t last long as the

pain of another contraction makes it’s way into your system. You cry out once again as your reach out for Bucky. He holds his hands out as you wrap your fingers around his wrists. You squeeze tightly as the pain one again slowly subsides. He clenches his jaw, looking up at Steve. Steve rubs your back, helping you through the breathing, mentally telling Bucky the elevator needs to hurry through his eyes.

Finally the elevator opens and you are greeted with a wheelchair and smiling Banner. He leads you and the boys to your room. Once inside, Bucky helps you get up, undressed and into a hospital gown. He then helps you into the bed and stays by your side. Steve takes the other side, letting you wrap your hand in his.

“Let’s have a baby.” Banner says as he puts his mask on. Once he is ready, he looks up at you. “I am gonna need you to push.”

After what felt like hours of pushing, you fall back into the bed, slowly giving up.

“I need you to push one more time.” Banner says, doing all he can to help you. You shake your her head slowly, tear after tear, mixing with sweat, travel down your face.

“I can’t, please don’t make me.” You say through tears. You look at Bucky. “Please don’t make me!”

“Baby, you have too! Come on, you are so strong! You are doing so good! You got this. Trust me, i am here.” Bucky says. He kisses your forehead trying to help reassure you. You nod your head as you look back at Banner.

“One, two, three PUSH!” Banner exclaims. You push as hard as possible and then you feel it. You look at Banner as he is holding your baby. You sigh a you fall back into the bed. “Meet your baby boy!”

“A boy.” You say tiredly. The nurses clean him off to the best of their ability before placing him on your bare chest. “My baby boy!” You rub his back, smiling tiredly but lovingly at your new baby boy.

Few hours pass and you're in a new bed, sleeping soundly. The nurse walks in quietly as she brings in your baby boy back from the nursery. She spots Bucky sitting in the corner and makes her way to him. He looks up at her and smiles sweetly.

“He was missing his family,” the nurse whispers as she places your newborn son in his dad's arms.

“We missed him,” Bucky whispers back as he smiles at his son. “Thank you.” The nurse nods her head as she turns away and leaves the room, shutting the door quietly. Bucky looks back down at his son and smile sweetly at his sleeping boy.

“God, you are perfect. Thomas, i love you with all my heart. I won’t lie, though. I was so nervous when your mommy told me about you. I didn’t think i could be a father, but you made me one. And because of your mommy, i now know i am ready for this.” Bucky pauses and looks up at your sleeping face. He then pulls out a ring from his pocket then looks back down at Thomas. “I am ready for this family”

[finn-nelson-for-the-win]

Sorry for the delay! I know I promised at least 3 chapters this week, and I’m doing  my best to keep true to my word, but sometimes life gets in the way a little bit. I’ve been going through some shit and I just had no desire to write or do anything to be completely candid, so I had to take some time to myself to sort a few things out and come to the realization that I need to actually deal with my problems instead of getting drunk and hanging out with my friends to pretend that everything in life is fine when it definitely is not…

So without further ado…Chapter 8! Click here to refresh your memory of Ch. 1-7 and keep an eye out for Chapter 9 AND a special little bonus story (more on this in the Author’s note at the very end) I wrote that should be posted very, very soon! 😁😏

Cause for Concern

It had been over a week since Rae had seen Finn at work and she had been keeping a near constant eye on the door to their office whenever she was working, in the event he would be walking into work at a different time than usual, but that was never the case.

Without Uni taking up a large portion of Rae’s time, she has been able to pick up more shifts at work and by busying herself with work and spending time with family in preparation for Christmas—which was a little more than a week away—she has found it much easier to keep Finn off her mind.

She had even began talking to some other people at work recently—including two of Finn’s closest mates, Chop and Peter—after coming into work one morning to realize that Izzie had ditched the desk she had been sitting at for nearly two months and was currently sitting next to Chop discussing video games.

“Hiya Izz…I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” Rae asked, giving Izzie a smirk which caused her to blush and turn back to face her computer screen.

“ ‘Course not, babygirl! I don’t think we’ve ever been properly introduced…I’m Chop! And you go by ‘Rae’, right?” Chop asked, giving Rae a wink and a cheeky smile that brought attention to the gap between his front teeth.

“Nice to meet ya Chop! And yeah, Rae as in Rachel, not Raymond…because boobs…” Rae replied, mentally kicking herself for making the conversation weird by drawing unnecessary attention to her chest.

“No kidding! I’ve heard a lot of great things about you from Izzie and Finn and some of the others, but it’s great to finally put a, uh, face to the name!” Chop glanced briefly at Rae’s chest before returning his eyes to meet hers.

“Oi, Peter! This gorgeous girl here is Rae, the one we’ve been hearing all about for months!”

“Oh, so you’re the girl Finn never shuts up about! Great to finally meet you, after all this time!”

They’ve been hearing about me for months? And what does he mean “all this time” Finn hasn’t even been friends with me for very long.

“So Rae…I’m a big fan of giving people nicknames, so since you’re very clearly not a Raymond…can I call ya ‘Raemundo’?” Rae laughed and sighed with feigned disappointment before nodding.

Well, I’ve certainly been called worse nicknames before…

They were both a lot of fun and she could certainly see why Finn was friends with them, although in comparison Finn was indubitably the quiet and more introverted member of the group.

Wow, it’s amazing how many people there are to talk to here at work when your attention isn’t consumed by one particular dickhead…

***

She had been working every day for just over a week when Rae began to notice that she was feeling particularly lethargic and tired at work—which was really saying something as Rae often had to struggle to stay awake and motivated at work.

When Rae returned to her apartment after work on Friday, she was feeling severely worn out and decided that it was still early enough for her to relax and lounge in her bed before she had to meet her friend, Rebecca, to hang out.

I don’t have to meet Rebecca until later in the evening, so maybe I have time to get a quick nap in…

Rae awoke with a start when she heard her cell phone ringing on the floor beside her bed, where it must have fallen from her hand when she had fallen asleep.

Five missed calls, a few texts, and Rebecca has been blowing up my Snapchat for nearly an hour!

Wait…FUCK! What time is it?

Rae briefly checked the time at the top of her cell phone and upon noticing that it was much later than she anticipated, she quickly tapped Rebecca’s contact in her phone to finally call her back.

“Rebecca! Fucking hell, I’m so sorry I missed all your calls and texts and whatnot! I must have fallen asleep as soon as I got in from work!” Rae began the conversation breathlessly as soon as she heard Rebecca answer the call. She was still trying to shake herself from the deep sleep she had been pulled from and defog her mind to figure out how long she had actually been asleep for.

“It’s okay, Rae! I’m just glad to hear you’re alright! If you didn’t respond soon, I was going to drive to your apartment and break in to make sure that you weren’t dead, or worse, ignoring me!” Rebecca replied, causing Rae to chuckle because she always had a way to make any situation positive with her laid-back personality.

“Were you still wanting to hang out tonight, Rae? We don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t wanna…we can just order some delivery and watch movies or something?”

“I’m so sorry Rebecca, but now that I’m waking up a bit more from my nap, I’m realizing that I feel like complete and utter shit and I don’t wanna contaminate you if I’m coming down with a cold or the flu or the plague or something…Can we just postpone for a bit?”

“Of course we can reschedule! I don’t want my little Rae of sunshine to be feeling sick, so take some time to yourself to relax and recover and I’ll be more than happy to spend time with you whenever you’re feeling up to it. Just let me know when you’d wanna meet up.”

“Thanks for being so understanding, Rebecca! I haven’t a clue what I would do without you in my life, my darling!”

“Likewise! And if you need me to bring you any cold medicine or soup or just want some company to play Doctor and nurse you back to health, you know you can always call me!”

Rae and Rebecca said their goodbyes and Rae tapped the red button on her phone screen to end the call.

The sun had long since set and Rae knew that it would be a good idea to get some food into her stomach before she fell back asleep, as she could already feel her eyelids growing heavy for sleep again; however, as Rae sat upright in her bed and spun to hang her feet over the side of her bed and stand up, she was hit with a sudden wave of dizziness and nausea.

She lunged forward from her bed and darted toward the door leading to the bathroom connected to the opposite side of her bedroom.

Rae quickly leaned over the toilet an emptied the contents of her stomach before her legs gave out and she crumpled to the ground with her head gently resting on the cool porcelain bathtub next to the toilet.

When she was confident that she was not going to be sick again, she stood up shakily and rinsed out her mouth with water at the sink.

Holy shit, I look like death…

Rae examined her blurry face in the mirror of her bathroom before putting her glasses back on to get a better look at her face.

The natural pink liveliness of Rae’s face and cheeks was absent and replaced with a pallid shade that made the deep purple circles that had formed beneath her eyes from her lack of sleep these past few months much more prominent.

No longer interested in eating, Rae walked to her kitchen to get the kettle started to make some tea. The short distance from her bedroom to the kitchen had felt exceedingly far to Rae and she found herself getting dizzy and her legs too weak to fully support herself as she walked, so she took small, cautious steps and supported herself with any countertop, wall, and stationary object she could put some of her weight on to prevent from falling.

She leaned her back against the wall beside her stove as she waited for the water to heat for her tea, closing her eyes because the fluorescent kitchen lights were almost too bright to handle.

How could I have gotten so sick so quickly?

As Rae tried to determine the cause for her sudden illness, she realized that it was not in fact all that sudden. She had been under immense stress for the last month of Uni, she was not eating on a regular enough basis, and she had been having a lot of trouble sleeping for the last few months.

Rae seldom got sick, even when an illness was making its way around all her coworkers; however, the culmination of the stress, lack of sleep, and poor eating habits had weakened Rae’s immune system enough for her to catch whatever illness this was.

 She walked back to her bedroom with extra caution, since one of her hands was now carrying her favorite mug containing her go-to chamomile tea that would hopefully help her calm down and fall back asleep, and she set her cup on the bedside table before climbing back into her bed.

She remained lying in bed with her torso propped up by the pillows behind her, sipping her mug of hot tea as she read through all the missed texts and Snapchats from various people.

How come the one time people decide to text me and be social with me is when I am asleep and feeling like shit?

Rae finished her cup of tea, took some pain medicine to help get rid of the massive headache she had, and fell asleep yet again with the sound of the music she had put on playing quietly in the background.

***

Since Rae almost never gets sick, when she does it was always a few days before she would be feeling well enough to go back to her daily routine. She had missed nearly a week of work, spending her days confined to her bed and her apartment until she finally felt well enough to get ready and leave her apartment on Thursday afternoon.

“Hello daring! It’s so good to see you Rae! You look much better in-person than you have been in your snapchats all this week…”

“Wow, thanks, Rebecca! Tell me how you really feel,” Rae quipped with a tone of mock hurt as Rebecca brought her into a tight hug after Rae opened the door to her apartment to see her friend waiting patiently outside.

“But really…I do feel a lot better. And I’m really glad we finally get to hang out today, I really missed seeing your smiling face around work every day!”

Rae quickly grabbed her leather jacket from her closet before meeting Rebecca outside her apartment and locking her front door.

“After you, m’lady…” Rebecca waved her arm with a flourish as Rae walked, leading the way down the steps from her second-floor apartment and towards Rebecca’s car in the parking lot.

As Rebecca drove to the restaurant they were going to for dinner, Rae sat in a comfortable silence in the passenger seat, watching the other cars on the road as they drove past.

Rae has always loved that her friendship with Rebecca felt so natural. While Rae loved Abigail and Chloe, she often wondered if they were actually still friends or if they had just remained in touch because they had known each other for close to a decade. Rae and Izzie were incredibly close friends now, but they had not become very close until they both made the decision a few months ago to receive extra training and change departments at work. Rebecca had not been able to move to the new department with Izzie and Rae in September, due to her hectic Uni schedule, but Rae and Rebecca’s friendship remained close despite working on opposite side of the building and they both still made it a point to visit each other and give each other hugs whenever they crossed paths and during their break times. Rae had only known Rebecca for about 6 months, but she could already tell that this was a friendship that would stand the test of time, even if they rarely had time to see each other at work.

Rebecca pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and the pair walked side-by-side to the entrance.

“Are you sure I’m not dressed too casually, Rebecca? This restaurant is much fancier than I had anticipated…I would have dressed for the occasion!”

“Not at all, you look perfect!” Rebecca said as she gave Rae a quick once over.

Rebecca was dressed in dark jeans and a simple black long-sleeved top and Rae was wearing a casual short black dress with matching tights and her favorite flannel shirt that she tied in a knot at the bottom where it hit her waist to accentuate her curves.

“If you say so…”

As soon as they were seated, a waiter wearing all black except for his crisp white button-down shirt poured them both glasses of water and set down a basket of bread for them to eat while they perused the menu.

Once decided on what they were each ordering, the waiter returned and Rebecca ordered her favorite Chicken Marsala dish and Rae just ordered a salad.

“Why do you have to do that to me, Rae?”

“What did I do?”

“You ordered a salad and now I look like I’m not dainty because I ordered a pasta dish that could feed a whole family!”

“Well, I rather like salad! I didn’t do it just to sabotage you, Rebecca!” Rae replied with a chuckle which caused Rebecca to laugh too.

“Okay, enough shenanigans…so a little birdy at work told me that there is a particular boy who has caught your eye…is that true or are my sources bullshitting me?” Rebecca quirked her eyebrow at Rae who had suddenly taken an interest in examining the piece of bread in the basket in front of her.

Well shit…I guess this was bound to come up in conversation sooner or later, huh?

“Well…uhm, sort of? It’s a really long story…”

“It’s a good thing I have no other plans for today then, huh? I love long stories!”

“Okay then…so this guy is one of my coworkers. I didn’t even know who he was for the first few weeks I was working in this department—I didn’t even know his name—he was just the quiet guy that stuck to himself and in the off-chance I’d see him I’d try to say ‘hi’ or something and he’d just shrug it off. He seemed like a total knob, basically…”

“…And? I sense a ‘but’ coming up where you realize that he’s this super sensitive guy because you saw him nursing a puppy back to life after work one day, right?”

“Not quite, Rebecca!” Rae said as she tried to contain her laughter in response to her friend’s crazy theory.

“Fine…no more of my theories…please continue with your story, Rae!”

“So he seemed like a total knobhead and I stopped trying to be his friend…BUT one day when I walked into work he complimented my shoes and I learned that his name was Finn…and he was vaguely civil for a bit. Then one day he randomly decides to sit in the desk next to Izz that I’m normally sitting in and…” Rae blushed at the memory of Finn’s flirting and blatant stares at her chest that particular day at work.

“ ‘And’ what? What did he do?”

Rae proceeded with the story and told Rebecca everything that she could remember from the 2 months that her and Finn have had this flirtation going on—his flirting, his propensity for staring at her chest and at her in general, the day she brought in cupcakes, the sniffing incident, and every other interaction worth mentioning.

“Wow…Rae, that’s crazy…this whole situation sounds like something straight out of a Romantic Comedy or Teen Romance novel or something!”

“I know! And now it’s been like two weeks since I’ve seen him at work and he is on my mind almost all the time because I have no fucking clue what is happening between us…”

“I see…have you told any other friends about the whole situation? To get some other opinions, you know?”

“Yeah…all my coworkers that know are practically convinced we’re already secretly a couple. A couple other friends from Uni and whatnot think there is definitely potential. One of my oldest childhood mates thinks that Finn and I wouldn’t work out and she’s been trying to convince me that Finn is probably dating our other coworker Hannah, since they have been talking so much lately. I’m not entirely convinced by any of their interpretations of the situation, but I don’t know…”

“Well, I can’t say for sure whether or not there is something more than friendship there because I’ve never seen your interactions firsthand, but I’d say probably trust your coworkers who see both of you on a regular basis and witness all your flirting in-person…I’d be hesitant, but don’t psych yourself out to the point that you overthink things…just let things unfold as they will and keep me updated on everything that happens between the two of you!”

“Deal!”

Rebecca and Rae’s food arrived almost as soon as they finished discussing the confusing situation with Finn and they began to dig into their food and discuss much lighter topics about what their plans for the next two weeks before Uni starts again.

***

Rae walked into work on Friday hesitantly, and although it had only been a week since she had been at work because she had been so sick, the entire office looked foreign to her. She looked around in awe at the Christmas lights along the perimeter of the office and wrapped around the some of the desks as well as the Christmas tree in the far corner of the office that had evidently been put up during her absence.

As she walked to the side of the office building in which she worked, most of her coworkers turned towards her with looks of joy on their faces.

“Rae!!”

“Rae-Rae, you’re back!”

“RAEMUNDOOOO! I thought you had skipped town on me!!”

Archie, Izzie, and Chop called out as Rae walked toward the empty desk beside Izzie, all of them giving her tight hugs in the process.

“Sorry for being a bit M.I.A. lately, I was really ill for the last week…” Rae responded as she logged into her computer and got caught up on all the emails she had missed after being gone from work for a whole week, earning comments of sympathy and concerned understanding from her coworkers.

After a couple hours at work Rae noticed that Izzie, Archie, and a few other people were beginning to log out of their computers.

“Where are you lot going?” Rae asked Izzie and Archie, clearly confused.

“We’ve been over-staffed all this week and John has been letting most of us go home early…you can ask him about leaving early too, if you wanna…” Izzie replied, gesturing with her head towards their supervisor, John, who was sitting at his desk in the far corner of their side of the building.

“No, I’ve missed enough work already, Izz. I’m fine with working today, since I’ll have the next few days off for Christmas anyways.” Rae smiled and waved at her coworkers as they scanned their badges at the machine on the wall and left the building.

“Hey Rae, is it alright if I move over here? That way we’re both not sitting alone…” Hannah asked, hesitantly taking the seat next to Rae that had previously been occupied by Archie.

“Yeah, of course. You decided not to go home early?”

“Well I already told my boyfriend to pick me up from work when I get off at noon, so what’s another two hours of work, you know?”

Rae tensed at the mention of Hannah’s boyfriend and she recalled all the times she saw Finn and Hannah walking into work together and sitting next to each other at work and what Chloe had told her recently about Finn and Hannah most likley being a couple. She shook away those thoughts and put on a fake smile before continuing.

“So you have plans with your boyfriend after work, huh? That’s good…How is he? I, uh…I haven’t seen Finn around work recently…”

Wait, did you really just say what I think you said, Rae!?!

“Whoa! Finn is definitely not my boyfriend! Did ya really think that we were a couple? Well, I suppose that explains some things…” Hannah was laughing incredibly hard at what Rae had insinuated, but Rae still felt like she was missing the joke.

If Hannah thinks her and Finn together is a joke, just imagine what she and everyone else would think of me and Finn together, not that that could ever happen…

“My boyfriend JAMES, is taking me to visit his family at their vacation home in the mountains for the weekend. And it’s a long drive, so we have to leave pretty early.” Hannah replied when she had regained her composure from laughing.

Rae nodded and got back to work for a little while before she heard Hannah speak up next to her again.

“So I haven’t seen you around work at all recently. How have you been since the semester ended?”

Rae and Hannah continued chatting about their lives since the semester of Uni ended, and Rae mentioned that she had been sick for a while, which is why she had been missing some work.

“Yeah, someone was asking about you the other day and I told him I hadn’t seen you in a while. Then I heard from Izzie, I think, that you had been sick, so I told him that the next time he asked about you. Nobody had seen you at work in about a week and he was—well we both were—concerned that you were still sick!”

“Yeah, I wasn’t feeling well from Friday until Wednesday and then yesterday I just spent the day with a friend since I was feeling a lot better. So I’m all better now and there’s no further cause for concern…wait, who was asking about me?”

Hannah remained focused on her computer screen, pretending that she didn’t catch the last thing Rae had said, “That’s good to hear that you’re feeling better now!”

“Who was it that you said had asked about me? I feel like pretty much everyone I talk to at work knew that I was sick because I had been texting them or I saw them at work this morning…” Rae was still not prepared to drop this topic until Hannah gave her an answer.

“Oh, well, he hasn’t been at work lately either. I was just texting him and he asked about you…”

The clock on their computers changed to noon and the machines on the wall chimed to signal the new hour and Hannah jumped from her seat, giving Rae a quick goodbye and calling “Happy holidays” to no one in particular as she sped out of the office before Rae could ask any more questions about who had been asking about her.

I don’t talk to very many guys here at work…Arch knew I was sick because I asked Izzie to tell him last Friday. Peter and Chop probably knew I was sick from Izzie as well, but they would have just asked how I was doing when they saw me at work today, right?

We’re a pretty small and tight-knit team, so who hasn’t been at work lately to hear the news I had been sick?

Well, there was one person…

Finn Nelson.

@eveerez @tinakegg @hey1tskat1e @bitchesbecrazy89 @kneekeyta @milllott @protectfinnnelson @arathewallflower @jackiewalsh2013 @pink-royaute @i-dream-of-emus @lurkernolonger @bitchy-broken

A/N: Oh no! Where ever could good ‘ol Finnley be if he hasn’t been at work lately!?! 😱I’d love to hear some of your theories before the next chapter reveals the truth…😏😏 Also: how sketchy was Hannah being in this chapter? Why didn’t she just come right out and say what we’re all thinking and say “Finn asks about you…” she’s an odd girl at times, I suppose…

So I’m gonna break away from this series of stories to post a little story that didn’t fit in well with the timeline for this multi-chapter fic, so I made it into a one shot. Since it’s not technically part of this story, I’m not gonna automatically tag anyone in it, but if you want to be tagged in this little story, just let me know and I’ll happily oblige!

As always, I can never thank you all enough for reading, liking, rebloging, and just showing your appreciation for my writing. It truly does mean the world to me. ❤️❤️❤️

[charlinert]

As Easy as Falling 20/?

New Chapter of As Easy As Falling….

Author’s note: This chapter got away from me and it’s REALLY long - but I hope you guys enjoy it though. Please see the credits at the end of the story xxx

Summary:  Felicity Smoak had everything figured out until tragic news causes her to rethink her life. As part of dealing with tragedy she embraces her adventurous side in the form of skydiving. Will love be waiting for her between the clouds or will she let tragedy keep her away from falling?

Read from the BEGINNING AO3

***************

CHAPTER 20

The day she agreed to do the treatment she knew what was waiting…although that’s what she kept telling herself after she read the mountains of information that was given to her, but living through this is a whole new ball game.

Since her cancer is so advanced and she first refused normal cancer treatment, they had no other choice but to increase her treatment significantly. This means treatments three times a week for a month. Dr. Isaacs warned her that this would be a complete shock to her system, so after the month’s treatment she will have to give her body some time to rest for at least a month to recuperate. They will then do excessive tests to determine whether or not the treatment made any noteworthy changes and if it did, she will then continue the same treatment regimen after her month of rest.

Three times a week doesn’t seem so much when you read it on paper, but she’s come to find out that it isn’t a walk in the park.

Queen Consolidated was kind enough to give her a leave of absence for as much time as she needed, and seeing that the CEO of the company she works for arranged the treatment, it felt wonderful to know that she will at least still have a job to go back to when all this is over.

A whole schedule was set up between Oliver, Curtis and her mom for her treatment each week and even though she would have wanted Oliver to be there for all of them, she has to be realistic…also she can’t expect Curtis and her mother to take a back seat when they’ve been there for her since day one.

Side-effects are grueling and every day is a surprise when she wakes up to figure out how it’s going to go. Some days are good and some days are really bad, but through it all she’s learned to keep her eye on the prize…the future…and she wants one with Oliver.

He’s been absolutely amazing. Even though he has a lot of responsibility at the club, he still manages to drop by every day and make sure she’s okay.

Tonight is different though. It’s the first night that he can’t come around after work. The club had to prepare for an inspection from the National Aviation Department early the next morning and it took much longer than anticipated. He still wanted to come over, but she told him to rather go home. She knew he was tired and the last thing she wants is for her putting extra pressure on him.

So here she is at home, as usual lying in her bed, trying to watch some kind of brain dead show on the new television screen Oliver mounted against the wall, to make life a bit easier for her. This way she doesn’t have to go into the living room to watch television when she feels too sick to get out of bed.

Her phone buzzes next to her with a text from Oliver.

OQ: Hey beautiful. Are you still awake?

She smiles at the ‘beautiful’. He’s been calling her that for the last two weeks now and it seems that he’s sticking to it, not that she’s complaining.

FS: Hey! Yes, watching…actually I have no idea what I’m watching. How did the prep go?

OQ: LOL! All done for the day, and lucky me, Digg gave me the day off tomorrow.

FS: That’s great! Does this mean I get breakfast in bed?

OQ: Actually I wanted to know if you would be up to a picnic.

She looks at his message and although she really really wants to say yes, she has no idea how her body will react tomorrow. She contemplates what to answer when a new text comes through.

OQ: There’s no pressure, I just wanted to know if you’re up to the prospect of one. You must be so tired of being cooped up in your apartment. How about you let me know when you wake up tomorrow? If you’re not up to it I’ll get us some movies or whatever you want to do tomorrow. Really no pressure, I promise.

FS: Sounds like a plan. If my body cooperates, I’d love a picnic.

He doesn’t respond immediately. She wonders if his heart is beating as fast as hers. She knows it’s not the medication in her system…this is Oliver Queen and it’s been like that ever since the first day she met the man.

OQ: Alright then Miss Smoak. Praying hard tonight your body is up to some serious picnicking tomorrow.

FS: :-D

OQ: Sweet dreams. I’ll speak to you tomorrow then?

FS: Tomorrow xx

OQ: xo

She goes to sleep with a huge smile on her face. Amidst the terrible side-effects, Oliver has been her anchor and she’s so happy she made the choice to jump out of that plane.

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

The next morning she lies in her bed staring at the ceiling. Normally it takes a while for the nausea to kick in and once it does she knows exactly how the day will turn out. This time however, after an hour, there’s still nothing and she holds on to hope that she will be able to leave her bedroom and have a change of scenery. Butterflies make their presence known in her stomach when she thinks of spending the day with Oliver. Doing anything with Oliver is usually amazing, because just having him there with her is all she needs, but this is something different. It’s almost like a date…since their first kiss went so horribly wrong, they haven’t been outside her apartment except for the medical clinic and even then she normally feels horrible. She’s just looking forward to having some much needed fresh air.

She reaches for her phone and sees a text waiting for her from Oliver.

OQ: Morning beautiful! Let me know when you’re awake. I’m still hoping that today will be a good day, so I’m already buying a few things for our picnic. If you’re not up to it, I’ll take it to the club – I’m sure they could use some cheering up with the inspection today. Please remember there’s no pressure.

She can’t wait to text him back.

FS: Seems that hope and prayer paid off Mr. Queen. Feeling up to that picnic and don’t you dare give anything away. What time can I expect you?

OQ: Great! I’m happy you’re feeling a bit better today. I’ll be there in an hour.

FS: Can’t wait!

She gets out of bed and makes her way to her bathroom. A nice hot shower is just what she needs now.

When she’s done with the shower, feeling refreshed and starts with her normal routine to get ready for her ‘date’ with Oliver. He didn’t exactly call it that, but in her mind it’s a date and she’s going to enjoy every second of it.

She stands in front of her closet, considering what to wear. She wants to be comfortable, but also wear something nice….well anything is better than the way he’s seen her these last two weeks.

A buzzing coming from her bed side table interrupts her elimination process.

OQ: I forgot to tell you…wear pants and comfortable shoes - it’s not a normal picnic. See you in a bit.

FS: Okay….what do you have up your sleeve Mr. Queen?

She smiles as she walks back to her closet to pick out her outfit. Today is going to be a great day indeed!

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

It’s not long after the last text she hears a knock at the door. Immediately the butterflies in her stomach go wild, but it’s an incredible feeling. She’s never felt like this before…not with anyone.

She walks over to the front door, trying not to run, but the excitement is extremely overwhelming. She opens the door and her eyes are met by the familiar sky blue orbs she’s come to love. His smile is blinding and for a moment she wonders if he’s feeling the same excitement as her.

“Hey beautiful.” he says, leaning forward he gives her the softest of kisses on her cheek.

There hasn’t been any other mind-blowing physical contact except for the occasional snuggling, forehead and cheek kisses after their ‘first kiss’ which cannot actually be called that. She’s thankful for what she’s gotten but she hopes that at least another attempt at a first kiss will be in the cards for them today.

“These reminded me of you.” he hands her a bunch of pink and white lilies, which matches the shade of the blush forming on her cheeks.

“Thank you.” she says, still smiling, “they’re beautiful.”

He steps inside her apartment, when she steps into her kitchen to put the flowers in a vase.

“So…are you still up for today?” he asks, nervously swaying from his toes to his heels.

“Yeah.” she smiles looking at him again from where’s she’s busy arranging the flowers in the vase. “Today is a good day and I’m actually quite excited.”

“Good.” he says, giving her a shy smile.

“Okay, well I’m done here, so I’m ready if you’re ready.” she moves towards him, taking a hold of her handbag lying on top of the counter.

“Uhm, Felicity?” he starts, looking somewhat nervous and she can’t really pin point why.

“What’s wrong?” she stares down at her clothes, fiddling with her hair, thinking something is out of place. “Is there something wrong with what I’m wearing, because I can change into something else, I’m just wearing this because you told me to wear pants, and I thoughts jeans were comfortable, but if it’s something fancier you had in mind I can definitely do something fancier…”

He moves closer to her, placing his hand on her shoulder which stops the ramble.

“You look perfect.” he says ever so softly that her stomach does a back flip. “I just don’t think it will be the best idea to take your purse...there’s not exactly space for it…”

When her brow furrows from pure confusion he gives a little chuckle and she feels like she can kiss him senseless right then and there. He’s the most adorable thing she’s ever come across, but she really wants this picnic and she might not get it if they start off with a make out session this early in the date.

“We’re not precisely using normal transport today. But, you need to take a jacket, because it’s nippy outside.” he explains.

She looks at him curiously, but she smiles.

“Fine Mr. Queen, I don’t know what you have planned, but I’m more than willing to go along with whatever it is.”

She takes a few items out of her bag and stuffs them into her jean pockets. She disappears into her room and in a few short moments she returns with a black leather jacket.

“Right, I’m good to go.” she winks at him and they leave her apartment for the adventure that’s waiting outside.

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

When Oliver told her that they were not making use of ‘normal’ transport he wasn’t kidding. When she got outside of her apartment his Ducati was waiting for them. At first she had reservations, but it disappeared as quickly as the thought made it to her mind.

She remembered that one of the items on her ‘bucket list’ was learning to ride a motorbike…so she probably first had to ride on a motorbike in order to be able to control one.

She got on the bike behind Oliver and hearing his words ‘hold on to me tight Felicity’ made her knees weak, thankfully she was sitting otherwise her body might have caused major embarrassment.

So there she is, her arms wrapped tightly around Oliver’s waist riding on a motorbike, taking in the beauty of the country side. They have been driving for about 90 minutes, but every minute has been incredible.

Her heart aches thinking about the fact that she might not have this again, but she decides to not think about possible ‘what ifs’ right now and just enjoy the present, because if that’s all she has, at least it will be these memories that will sustain her in the hard times that lay ahead.

They finally come to a stop on a dirt road. Even though she can feel the change in the air with autumn approaching, the field is beautifully green with purple and yellow field flowers everywhere. It is simply breathtaking and with the little breeze in her hair, she breathes in the freshness of this beautiful day.

Oliver is the first one off the bike, but he leaves her sitting for a moment as he removes his helmet. Not entirely knowing what’s going on she does the same, but she remains seated.

“Okay, so…you know that ‘bucket list’ you gave me?” he starts off slow and hesitant. “I wanted to help you fulfill the other parts on that list too…so I thought I’d teach you how to ride a motorbike…”

She can’t believe her ears. Did he actually go and study that list so he could help her fulfill her desires? Who is this man?

When she doesn’t respond, he quickly adds, “if you’re too scared, we don’t have to do anything, there’s no pressure I just thought…”

“No…no Oliver that’s not it, it’s just…this is…this is amazing Oliver. Thank you.” her eyes fill with tears and as she fights for them not to fall, he moves closer and kisses her gently on the forehead.

“You don’t have to thank me Felicity.” he says softly against her forehead, not moving for the longest time.

They both take a breath to work through the heaviness of the moment, when Oliver is the first one to break the silence.

He starts off by explaining and showing her which levers are for the accelerator and the breaks, as well as how the gears work and so on. Luckily she catches on quickly and it’s not long before she knows what to do in theory.

He stands next to her, cautioning her not to press down on the accelerator too fast, otherwise the bike will jump forward and might throw her off in the process.

She takes a breath and starts the process as Oliver explained. She puts the bike into gear, flexes her fingers on both the levers on the bike’s handles and starts pressing down slowly on the accelerator lever. The slow motion she was opting for is thrown out the window when her fingers twitch and she presses on the lever with full force. The bike jumps forward but Felicity clings to the machine for all she’s worth as it moves forward at a faster speed that either of them anticipated, starting out with this lesson.

“Press down the brake!” Oliver yells running after her, but the bike doesn’t slow down at all.

Pure fear overcomes Felicity and she starts to panic. She can hear Oliver yelling something but her mind isn’t registering any of the words he’s yelling from behind her. All she can focus on is the forward motion of the bike and nothing else…at least she’s still on the bike.

In a way Oliver manages to catch up with the moving bike and jumps on the back taking over control of the levers. He doesn’t stop the bike though, he places his hands over Felicity’s and helps her manage the steering, which slows down the speed and steadies the bike.

Her heavy breathing calms down the moment she feels his hands over hers and his body pushing against her back. She starts to concentrate on what Oliver is instructing in her ear and after a few moments she’s back in control.

They ride like that for a few moments and then Oliver removes his hands from hers on the handles, slowly wrapping his arms around her waist. He has complete confidence in her ability and that gives her the self-confidence she needs to complete this task.

He instructs her in the direction she needs to go and she drives them, on her own, all the way to a secluded spot next to a lake.

She brings the bike to a complete stop, her body shaking with the adrenaline coursing through her veins. She did it! She drove a bike and she did it on her own!

Oliver gets off the bike and helps her off before he sets up the kickstand to hold the bike upright.

She’s amazed by the view. Large trees next to the lake, on a little hill overlooking the field they just drove through. If she thought the place they stopped for their bike lesson was breathtaking, it’s nothing compared to where she’s standing right now.

She takes off her helmet and her eyes focus on a picnic basket tied up with a rope in one of the nooks of the large tree they are standing in front of. She turns over to Oliver busying himself with taking out a few items from the trunk of the bike. What did she ever do to deserve this man? He must have dropped the basket off earlier because he knew they couldn’t take the picnic basket on the bike. He’s going through so much trouble for her and just so he could teach her how to ride a bike.

Is it possible that she could love him even more after this?

He sets up the blanket so they have a perfect view of both the lake and the field and unties the basket in the tree.

It’s so serene and this whole moment is just perfect.

He packs out the delicious treats he’d packed for them and after they have eaten he sits back against the trunk of the tree. He opens his arms to her and she doesn’t need a second invitation to snuggle next to him. Having his arms wrapped around her is something she’s grown accustomed to. She feels safe there.

“I know you said that I don’t need to thank you, but I feel that I want to.” she says tracing meaningless patterns on his chest.

She can hear him sigh and she can’t help but smile, she’s come to see that he can be very dramatic when the occasion calls for it.

“I really appreciate you doing this for me Oliver. I’m sorry that I nearly crashed your bike though.”

He chuckles giving her a soft kiss against her temple.

“Let’s just say I’ve never been so happy about being able to run so fast, but even if you did crash the bike, your life and your safety is always my number one concern. I guess I didn’t completely think the plan through.”

“No, it was completely my fault. My fingers twitched and it set the whole problem in motion. I should have thought about the brakes but I just panicked. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about. I should have sat behind you to begin with, but you did a great job after you got the hang of it.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sound so scared like you did when you were running behind me.” she gives a nervous laugh.

“Actually, it wasn’t the first time. I was scared yes, but I knew in a way that I could still help you. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared like the day you passed out in the air…Felicity I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t catch you in time.”

She sits up straight and looks at him. Fear blatantly displayed on his features together with the familiar crease between his eyes.

She takes her thumb and gently swipes over the wrinkle, softly tracing her fingers down the side of his cheek. His stubble tickling the soft tips of her fingers in the process.

He closes his eyes at the feeling of her fingers against his face and she can see him relaxing against her as she continues the gesture.

“But you were and you did Oliver. You saved me…”

“For as long as I can Felicity, I’ll always keep you safe…”

The atmosphere is thick with emotion. Their gaze locked. He circles her wrist with his fingers and starts to pull her closer to him, but as if in seconds he convinces himself not to do anything else he clears his throat, breaking them out of their deep stare.

“I have another surprise for you.” he says quickly and moves away from her getting something else out of the basket.

She stares at him incredulously, following his every move until he’s sitting next to her again.

“I uhm…spoke to Dr. Isaacs about you wanting a tattoo and he said that it was too dangerous at this point in the treatment for you to get one. He said you could get infected and there’s a lot of other things that I won’t get into right now, but I managed to get a way to give you a temporary tattoo…you can decide later if you want to get a real one, but this is for now.” he grins at her, looking very chuffed with himself for being innovative.

“Wow, that’s great!”

“Okay, so I have a few choices here, because I didn’t know what exactly you had in mind when you thought about getting a tattoo.”

He takes out three pieces of paper with sketches on them, a butterfly, a bow and arrow and a rose, and gives it to her.

“These are fake tattoos.” she smiles, not really knowing what else she expected.

“Yeah.” he smiles, “you can choose which one you want and I can help you put it on.”

She takes her time looking at the sketches and then hands him her choice.

“The bow and arrow.”

It’s not a question really but she feels the need to explain her choice.

“To me it’s the obvious choice. In order to shoot an arrow with a bow, you need to draw it back before it can go forward. It almost feels like my life and maybe it’s a gesture of faith you know? Me being drawn back, by my sickness, before I can move forward…” she desperately wants to add ‘with you’, but she rather goes with, “to my future.”

He stares at her, swallowing thickly, they can’t get past the electrical emotional current still in the air.

“Where do you want it?”

“What?” she feels confused by the question, which she shouldn’t be, but she’s so focused on Oliver and her racing heart that she can’t think clearly.

“The tattoo.” he answers. “Where do you want it?”

“Oh,” she laughs nervously, “here,” she takes off her jacket revealing her brightly coloured tank top, and pulls down the piece of material revealing her bear shoulder, “on my shoulder please?”

He tries to stay calm and not look into her eyes, to keep his wits about himself, but it’s frustratingly difficult.

He places the sketch over her shoulder. The tip of his fingers lightly touches her skin and it sends a current of lightning through his body. What is it with them and lightning, it feels like his body gets electrocuted every time he touches her, but it’s a feeling his body craves, the more he experiences the feeling, the more he wants it.

He focuses on the tattoo and pushes down on the little dots of the sketch. When he’s done he peels off the paper leaving behind the picture of the bow and arrow on her shoulder. He doesn’t know why, but he blows on it and when his eyes lift up from the picture, he is met by total surprise reflected in hers as she stares at him.

They are inches away from each other. His hand is still firmly on her shoulder.

Her eyes move from his and down to his lips and without trying to convince herself not to, she presses her lips against his and he responds.

It’s not chaste like the first time, this time it’s filled with all the emotion felt in the air around them. She turns her body into his, without their lips breaking contact. He places his hands behind her head, anchoring her to him so he can deepen the kiss. In return she wraps her arms around his neck and the contact makes her body want to burn up with the fire ignited by the kiss.

His tongue swipes over the seam of her lips and she grants him access. Their tongues dance in unison and it’s unlike anything either of them has ever experienced before.

When breath is no longer an option, they break the kiss, still lingering against each other’s lips.

“Wow.” she says breathlessly.

In return he kisses her again, this time soft and sweet releasing a small moan from her mouth. She can feel him smiling against her as he continues the kiss.

She needs to survive this, she wants this. She needs this life, a future and she needs it with this man…Oliver Queen.

CREDITS: A special thank you to @miriam1779 and @lgtwinkie99 for the bucket list ideas used in this chapter!

Thank you to everyone who’s supporting this fic by reading and commenting and liking and such! You guys are truly awesome!!!

Please let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged OR if your URL has changed please :)

Amazing people under the cut:

@aguscha333 // @alemap74 // @almondblossomme // @angelalafan // @angelicmisskitty // @aussieforgood // @bluemorgana // @ccdimples88 // @cinfos // @coal000 // @diggo26  // @dontyou-forgetaboutme89 // @fandomlove130 //  @felicity-said--yes //  @foggydefendorgiver  // @geneshaven // @georgiakblog // @hope-for-olicity // @hopeful-warrior // @jaspertown // @jcc04220 // @kajunblueyes // @kebarr // @karenanderson32 // @laurabelle2930 // @lesanchea // @lgtwinkie99 // @lou-lou26 // @love2luvyyou // @lucymtz16 // @lynaye1993 // @mel-loves-all // @miriam1779 // @missafairy // @olicity4ever01 // @oliverfel4 // @pimsiepim //  @puddintan3  // @quiveringbunny // @scu11y22  // @smkkbert // @storyteller0311 // @tdgal1 // @thegirlandthegrounder // @tinaday3w // @to-dwellondreams //  @turnupthemusicandscream  // @victoriapolicity // @yespleasehawkeye // @yolandi-l // @yourebeautifuleverylilpiecelove // @yryssss

[curtiskyle]

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