#we're going to get you free my king
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#starting to think this is a daily thing#luigi mangione#we're going to get you free my king#Luigi mangione edits
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How many times did I drive three minutes ahead of you like a gangster and never realize it
🤔
Maybe I did notice
#here is the note I should have written you#dearest King's....Love King#I fond it strange people run scams to get the information people give me for free because they see me as the answer to their problem#ia it true then about thr drummers of old rock bands#Christ no wonder I go mad sometimes listening to rock music#I have to sometimes drop myself i to reggae becauae it feels good#we're digging a hole and you see yourself ahrink and go for a walk under it#my mind was bizarre#a few falling granules of sand would become a day dream
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After watching Cinderella (the original animated movie, which was my favorite as a child), it strikes me how it solves many common problems people have with this fairy tale. Like:
Why did they try to identify the mystery girl using her shoe size? Because the bullheaded king's only clue to her identity was the shoe the Grand Duke picked up off the steps.
Why didn't the prince recognize her by her face? Because his father wouldn't involve him in the process at all, and wasn't the one going around trying to find her.
Why did the prince want to marry a lady he only met that night? Because his father was going to force him to marry someone, and he genuinely liked this woman.
Why did Cinderella want to marry a man she only met that night? Because marriage was her best and most secure way to freedom. Fucked up, but you can't say it's unrealistic for the setting of a fairy tale. She also genuinely liked him.
If they're using the slipper to find her, wouldn't it be more sensible to search for the person with the other slipper? Yes. The King is purposefully nonsensical and the Duke is purposefully terrified enough of him to carry out his orders to the letter. Furthermore, they end up doing that in the end anyway, because the Duke's glass slipper is shattered, and Cinderella brings out the one she has to prove her identity.
Why didn't the stepmother and stepsisters recognize Cinderella at the ball? Because they were dancing too far away, and then left the party to dance in private, which was possible because the King wanted very badly for his son to hit it off with someone and tried to arrange the best conditions for that to happen.
Why didn't Cinderella save herself? Because in real life, abuse victims should not have to shoulder that responsibility, and usually can't. In real life, you need and deserve an external support system. Asking for help, in this kind of situation, is very important. She is saved by others because she is loved. Because she is not alone. Because she has friends who love her, and want her to be happy and safe and free. Because in real life, people who want to help someone who is suffering are like the mice. We can't pull out miracle solutions, but we can provide companionship and if we're in the right place at the right time, we can help the person find a better life.
Why didn't the fairy godmother save Cinderella from her abusive household, or try to help her sooner? Because she's magic, and magic can't solve your problems. Quote: "Like all dreams, well, I'm afraid it can't last forever." This (and Cinderella's dream of going to the ball) is a metaphor for pleasurable things in bad circumstances. An ice cream won't get rid of your depression, but it will provide you with momentary happiness to bolster you, as well as the reminder that happiness in general is still possible for you. Cinderella doesn't want to go to the ball so she can get away from her stepmother and stepsisters, or so she can meet someone to marry and leave with. She wants to go to the ball to remind herself that she can still have things she wants. That her desires matter. This is important because the movie does a very good job of illustrating Lady Tremaine's subtle abuse tactics, all of which invisibly press the message that Cinderella doesn't matter. While going to the ball and fulfilling her dreams may not be a victory in the material sense, it is still a victory against Lady Tremaine's efforts.
Why is Cinderella's choice to be kind and obedient framed as a good thing, when you are not obligated to be kind to your abuser? This one walks a very fine line, but I think the movie still makes it make sense. Lady Tremaine never acknowledges her cruelty. She always frames her punishments of Cinderella as Cinderella's fault. Cinderella is interrupting, Cinderella is shirking her duties, Cinderella is playing vicious practical jokes. Cinderella is still a member of the family, of course she can go to the ball, provided she meet these impossible conditions. Lady Tremaine's tactics are designed to make Cinderella feel like she must always be in the wrong and her stepmother must always be in the right. If Cinderella calls her stepmother out on her cruelty, or attempts to fight back, Lady Tremaine can frame that as Cinderella being ungrateful, cruel, broken, evil, etc. If Cinderella responds to her stepmother's cruelty defiantly (in the way she's justified to), she's not taking control out of Lady Tremaine's hands. Disobedience can be spun back into her stepmother's control. She wants Cinderella to be angry and sad and show how much she's hurting. So since Cinderella is adapting to her situation, she chooses to be kind. Not only because she naturally wants to be and it's part of her personality, but because it is a form of defiance in its own way, and it allows her to keep a reminder of her agency and value. Her choice to be kind is her chance to keep her own narrative alive: she is not obeying because her stepmother wants her to and she has to do what her stepmother does, but because she wants to. It's a small distinction, but one that makes all the difference in terms of keeping her hope and identity. (Fuck, I wrote a whole paragraph about how this doesn't mean you can't be angry at people who hurt you or that you need to be kind to deserve help, and then deleted it by accident. Uh. Try again.) Expressing anger and pain is an important part of regaining autonomy and healing. Although it is commendable to be kind while you are suffering, it is NOT required for you to get help or be worthy of help. If Cinderella's recovery was explored beyond "happily ever after" she would need to let herself be angry and sad to heal. Cinderella is not only kind because it comes naturally to her, but because it's her defense against the abuse she's suffering. Everyone's story and experiences are different, and one does not invalidate the other.
Bonus round for answers that aren't part of the movie:
Why didn't Cinderella run away? Where would she go? Genuinely, in hundreds-of-years-ago France, where would she go if she snuck out of the window with a change of clothes? With her step-family, she's miserable and abused, but she's fed, clothed, and in no danger of dying or being taken advantage of by anyone other than her stepmother and stepsisters. Even if she escapes and manages to find financial security, her stepmother might be able to find her and get her back.
Why didn't Cinderella burn the house down with them inside it/slit their throats in the night/poison their food/etc.? Because that's a revenge fantasy, and this story is a fantasy about being saved. There's nothing wrong with making Cinderella into a revenge fantasy. That's perfectly fine, as long as you acknowledge that the other type of fantasy is also a valid interpretation. (I mean, the original fairy tale features the stepsisters getting their feet mutilated and all three of them getting their eyes pecked out, so go for it.)
Why isn't Cinderella more proactive in general? Because she's a child who has been abused for the back half of her life, who has had to be focused on survival because. you know. she's an abused kid.
How did she dance in glass slippers? Gotta agree with you there man, that's weird.
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01/01/25; 12:00am
sylus x fem.reader / mc.reader
notes: despite how much i adore night of secrecy, it left a lot to be desired, so i’ll be doing a thirstier rewrite (⺣◡⺣)♡ and have this be my first post to welcome in the new year ♡
obligatory tag: @voidsylus (⺣◡⺣)♡
extra notes: it’s still not showing up in the tags, ;; but i will reblog this story periodically under an icymi tags so you readers can at least see it on my blog.
update as of 04:56pm: FINALLY ITS IN THE TAGS!! 😭🙌🏻
[ minors don’t interact; by choosing to interact with this content, you have consented to viewing something n-fw despite the warnings. ]
the tension was thick in the air, and you had a hunch that sylus had lost your little “gun assembling” contest on purpose. looking down at his deft fingers and witnessing the millions of times sylus polished his weapons with a calculating touch-
it was painfully obvious how you couldn’t have won that easily.
and the epiphany of it all was enough to make a surge of warmth course through you.
shaking your head, you get back to the situation at hand, playfully pressing the muzzle of the gun against his chin. "i won." you tell him in a breathless whisper, watching sylus as he raised his hands in mock defeat while meeting your gaze. "and i lost. go ahead. ask your question."
letting out a shaky breath, you take a moment to admire the firelight and how it painted sylus in golden hues, captivating you in every sense of the word as you lowered the gun.
“i’m sleepy…"
clearly caught off guard by your words, sylus narrows his crimson gaze in response, remaining silent as he allowed you to speak once more.
"can you tuck me in tonight?” you finish, your eyes meeting with his as a sense of determination courses through you.
a rich chuckle was heard coming from sylus, "heh, and i thought a certain relentless hunter would ask about my destination. or did you finally heed those words... curiosity killed the cat, kitten?"
a wistful smile paints your expression as you shake your head at him, "i care more about the present than an answer i can get. so... are you doing it or not?"
you wait with bated breath as sylus lets out a huff, coming closer to you while framing at your face, "of course, kitten." without hesitation, he stands back to his full height all while taking you within his embrace, carrying your shoes in his free hand while walking with you toward one of the master bedrooms located on the second floor. "this request is way more powerful than that little gun."
as he held you, you cling to him, arms wrapping around his neck while basking in his warmth. with the bedroom in sight, he tosses aside your heels while settling himself against the armchair. hiding your face within the curve of his neck, you feel the sensation of sylus's lips brushing against your cheek. "if you don't want to lie down, i can keep holding you until i leave."
"what if i don't want you to leave...?" you tell him with a whisper, shivering when sylus brushes his lips against your skin once more, "then... we better make the most of our time before dawn."
a painful ache was felt between your legs when you suddenly surged forward, capturing sylus's lips in a kiss that takes his very breath away. while you desperately tried to deepen it, you could feel sylus smiling against your lips, whispering huskily to you, "you really don't want me to leave?"
by now, the ache between your legs was too much to bear, with you pulling away from the kiss first. your head gestures over to the king sized bed, "sylus, over there..."
"looks like we're on the same page when it comes to not wanting to waste time." with a grunt of your name, he picks up your pliant form like you weighed nothing at all. with your limbs wrapped around his powerful body, sylus settles you against the silken sheets, with your hands now wrapped around his neck to pull him achingly closer to you.
you trail your eyes off to the side, only to feel sylus gently gripping at your chin while telling you, "stay focused, kitten. don't look."
his hot breath was felt against your ear when sylus covers your eyes with his large hand while gripping at your hand with the other. swallowing thickly, you intertwine your fingertips with his, giving it a squeeze just as sylus gives your lips a searing kiss. you moan into his kiss, allowing your tongue to meet with his as they clashed, fighting with a gentle dominance that makes your mind go hazy.
when the need for air proves to be too much, you pull away from the kiss first, hands delving into his silken locks of hair, "am i being too greedy... if i ask you to keep your eyes only on me?" you trail your fingertips from his hair to the side of his face, gently framing at it all while trembling when he presses a kiss against the palm of your hand. "you always had that right. which means... you can be even greedier. tell me- do you want it, kitten?"
was that even a question at this point? yes was the single word that comes from your parted lips-
and that was all the urging sylus needed to awaken the beast in him.
a growl was heard when his large hand grips at your knee, ready to spread your legs with a shake of his head, "you haven't changed your mind, have you...? you just said yes." a sense of desperation was heard in his voice when he pulls you by your ankles, pressing your clothed center against the straining erection within the front of his pants. "i'm hoping yes is still your answer because... i just can't hold back anymore."
you wanted to tell him how you couldn't hold back either, yet found that your voice was lost the moment his lips captures yours once more, pressing your body against his naked chest, the material of his shirt already unbuttoned as you felt his muscles rippling against you. you allow him to swallow your moans with his fervent kiss, feeling like you were melting against him.
"s-sylus, i can't breathe..." you tell him while greedily taking in gasps of air, a hand settled on his chest damp with sweat. with a gentle touch, sylus brushes aside your hair, fingers already descending down upon you, settling the palm of it between your legs as he moves aside your soaked panties, dipping a single digit within your slick folds.
a pumping motion was felt within your aching walls, making you grip at his biceps as you fell back against the bed, becoming subjected to his ministrations. your pants and sylus's grunts echo throughout the room, and you let out a hiss when you felt sylus gently bite down against the waistband of your panties before pulling it off of you in one, swift motion, "h-hey, don't bite there-"
however, your words of protests falls on deaf ears, morphing into a breathy moan when sylus presses his lips against your cunt. his tongue traces at your pussy lips, collecting your arousal while basking in the pure taste of you. with a few more licks and a pinching sensation felt against your hardened clit succeeds in helping you climax, your hands gripping at his hair, earning a grunt from sylus.
once he was finished, sylus pulls away from the spot between your legs, licking his lips while meeting your gaze with a huff, "first you want it rough, now you want it soft... i thought you would be tough to please tonight, kitten. however..." he trails off while licking at his lips, "perhaps i was wrong in believing you were hard to please since i got such an intense taste of you."
you pout at him, ready to bite back with your own words when they suddenly became lost against your lips. you feel sylus lean over you, trailing kisses down your neck, as if apologizing for teasing you. "what do you really want? won't you be honest and tell me like you just did?"
your eyes met with his within the intimate lighting, trembling at the sound of his seductive voice dripping with honey. you lick your own lips in response, gently pushing him back down against the bed as the palm of your hand cups at his clothed erection, "i'm not falling for your tricks."
teasing him, you bite down at your bottom lip and trail your fingertips down his chest, "i told you before that hunters like me don't like being passive."
with a shake of his head, he lets out another chuckle, "so, you want control. unfortunately, i can't give it to you. not yet, at least." his hands wrap themselves around your waist to lay you back down in bed, touch filled with reverence as he trails his fingertips down the length of your body before telling you, "don't run."
"you're so... demanding... hah... it's annoying." your hands claw at the sheets settled below you, earning a smirk from sylus, "i won't deny it. i guess you can say i lied. tonight, you're not the only one feeling greedy... and i won't be leaving until this greed is completely satisfied."
you became dimly aware of the sounds of shifting fabric, making you look down as your cheeks were felt blossoming with heat. settled between your legs was his cock completely hardened and ready for you, making you gasp when he manages to brush the tip of it against your soaking heat. "ah, i misspoke."
"w-what?" by now, sylus was tracing his cock against your outer lips, teasing you when he caresses at the hardened bundle of nerves as well. he continues to give you a smug expression, licking his lips while teasing you with his cock, "greed can never be satisfied... but you can temporarily soothe it."
taking a hold of your hand, he kisses it while asking once more, "say it again, sweetie, do you want it?"
meeting his gaze, you lean closer to him, conveying your need for him in yet another passionate kiss. delving your fingers into his hair, you give those moonlit strands a gentle tug while murmuring against his lips, "this is my answer."
and that was all the confirmation your lover needed.
your broken moans suddenly pierces through the silence of the night, tossing your head back the moment sylus completely sheathes his cock within your walls. he sets a rapid pace, making the bed bounce in tune with his movements. no words were spoken when sylus grips at your lower back, pressing you oh so much closer to him.
while you were writhing against the bed, you felt sylus reach parts of you that you didn't know existed, the pleasure taking on new heights with each tilt of his hips. the sounds of your copulation echoes throughout the room, causing your mind to go hazy as you take in every inch of him over and over again.
and when you felt the familiar twitching of his cock, you wrapped your legs even tighter around his waist, allowing his seed to paint your walls white, relishing in his shuddering breaths of your name when he captures your lips, making sure that you were forever connected while the red hot pleasure courses through your veins...
{ ... }
the rays of sunlight felt hitting against your closed eyelids was the first thing that woke you up-
the second was the disappearance of sylus and the sounds of a shower running from just a few feet away from you. feeling like you were caught in a dream, you get out of bed, naked while allowing the sheets to fall off your form.
curiosity paints your expression when you jostle the bathroom's door, smiling upon realizing it was unlocked as you stepped inside. the mist left from the hot shower surrounds you, making the anticipation course through your veins upon seeing sylus's silhouette against the glass pane of the shower.
letting out a purr of his name, you join him in the shower, earning a smirk from him when he faces you. "i was wondering when you'd wake up, kitten."
with a roll of your eyes, you get on your knees, taking in his cock within your awaiting mouth while basking in his broken grunt. "sweetie-"
when you manage to stroke his cock to full hardness, you hum against his erection, purposely tracing against the veins felt pulsating down his shaft before playing with his tip with your tongue-
thanks to this sudden shower, you figured you could tell sylus how you had no intention of letting him go off alone,
that you had every intention of staying by his side later on-
after your much needed quickie with him.
end notes: highkey what i wanted to happen lmao infold let me be one of your writers pls.... 🫠🫠🫠 anyways, this is my first post to welcome in the new year! 2025 will be amazing; i truly believe it. here's to a million more daydreams to come 🥰
all stories are written by rei; please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works!!
#sylus smut#sylus x reader#sylus x you#sylus x mc#lads smut#lnds smut#l&ds smut#lads x reader#lnds x reader#l&ds x reader#love and deepspace#writings 📖
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somethin' stupid - oscar piastri
summary: carlos sainz's sister, y/n, owns a bakery in barcelona, and during the spanish gp, she begins to see a certain face a little more
a/n: there is no face claim so imagine y/n as you wish!
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, and 16, 287 others ynbakery Make sure you head into the bakery before the Grand Prix this weekend (don't worry, I will NOT be selling whatever Carlos is making)!
carlossainz55 Plenty of people will want the pancakes I made 😡
landonorris Don't worry Carlos I will try some ynbakery landnorris Get a room you two
carlossainz55 Best bakery in Spain!!
user52 aww carlos is so supportive
lilymhe barca weekend + y/n's pastries = heaven
ynbakery LILY I LOVE YOU
user91 i may not have tickets to the gp, but i do have 3 euros to spend on y/n's famous muffins
user67 I'm so ready for all the drivers to be at the bakery HAHA
liked by ynsainz, oscarpiastri, and 82, 932 others lilymhe the fia need to make barca the only circuit all year round purely because of y/n's pastries tagged: alexalbon, ynsainz, ynbakery
ynsainz you are welcome at my bakery whenever you wish
alex_albon If you haven't had that croissant, you haven't lived
georgerussell63 Real
user28 Y/N'S BAKERY!! PLEASE SOMEONE GET THE GRID IN THERE
user63 IF OSCAR WENT HE WOULD LITERALLY BECOME OSCAR PASTRY LMAOOO
user59 lily and alex are so cute i cant
liked by oscarpiastri, lilymhe, and 33, 209 others ynsainz slide 3 trigger warning tagged: carlossainz55
landonorris HAHAHA
carlossainz55 hermana...
ynsainz sorry king I had to do it
oscarpiastri Will the bakery be open all weekend?
ynsainz yes all days except for sunday!!
user74 y/n you are so beautiful
lilymhe Such a pretty girl ��� liked by ynsainz
view oscarpiastri's story...
tagged: ynbakery
liked by ynsainz, charles_leclerc, and 3, 726, 198 others scuderiaferrari Raceday pancakes?
ynsainz SOMEONE STOP CARLOS FROM THIS PANCAKE BUSINESS I CANNOT DO IT ANYMORE
user87 i'm crying 😭😭
charles_leclerc I think we should leave the cooking to y/n
ynsainz I agree thank you
landonorris I've never seen someone look worse in an apron and chefs hat @ carlossainz55
user22 what is carlos' obssesion with pancakes...
user98 RACEDAY PANCAKES?? GET THEM IN THE FUCKING CAR
liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, and 44, 827 others ynsainz race day bitchesss 😎 #idratherbeatmybakery
oscarpiastri I'd rather be at your bakery too
lilymhe excuse me oscar but i was just abt to comment this
user55 y/n clutching up with the charlos pics
user60 sorry but umm oscar??
scuderiaferrari End of race pancakes?
ynsainz STOP NO. NO MORE FUCKING PANCAKES
liked by mclaren, landonorris, and 2, 198, 277 others oscarpiastri Barcelona recap ft. a non-edible y/n croissant
mclaren 🧡
ynsainz hope you enjoyed the gift!!
user87 Y/N GOT OSCAR A JELLYCAT
user52 wake up babe, oscar piastri is making moves on his enemy's sister
carlossainz55 ...
user98 IM SCREAMING
user53 official y/n bakery verdict?
oscarpiastri Really really delicious
liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 11, 727 others ynbakery Aaaaaand we're back open! First twenty people in store receive a free muffin from our new range!
oscarpiastri Yummm
ynbakery oh hey pastry boy 🥐
landonorris Oh we'll be stopping by then
user61 we?
lilymhe breakfast, lunch, dinner, and my snack are now sorted for the day (please never close again)
ynbakery I think we need an honorary lily cookie...
view oscarpiastri's story...
tagged: ynbakery
liked by charles_leclerc, ynsainz, and 4, 982, 129 others carlossainz55 Proud to be back at home, we go again 👊
scuderiaferrari 🏎️💨 liked by carlossainz55
oscarpiastri Great race brother
user50 we really got oscar complimenting carlos before gta 6
landonorris Sexyyy
user81 Carlos Sainz the man that you are
user93 thoughts on y/n and oscar 😏
carlossainz55 No thoughts.
view ynsainz's story...
tagged: oscarpiastri
liked by landonorris, alex_albon, and 17, 823 others ynbakery For everyone asking if I can get Carlos to bake some things for the shop... NOOOOOO he only makes pancakes 😢
carlossainz55 They are good pancakes y/n
ynbakery yeah okay.
landonorris Don't let him anywhere near any machinery, you're whole place would be shut down
ynbakery HAHA carlossainz55 Says the man who won't eat fish
liked by lilymhe, ynsainz, and 2, 822, 376 others oscarpiastri My girlfriend is a baker so does that mean I should change my username to oscarpastry? tagged: ynsainz
ynsainz yes i think it does
oscarpiastri Good to know
user44 Y/N AND OSCAR MATCHING JELLYCATS??
carlossainz55 @ ynsainz Are you making pancakes without me
oscarpiastri Don't worry we followed your recipe 🤣 ynsainz oscarpiastri OSCAR DON'T EXPOSE ME
user92 GIRLFRIEND AHHHHHHH
landonorris I am praying for your well being now that carlos is technically your brother in law
oscarpiastri Thanks mate
please let me know if you liked this, i know it's been a while since i last posted! reqs are open!!
#oscar piastri#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri x reader#op81#op81 fluff#op81 x reader#op81 imagine#op81 fic#formula 1 x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fic#formula 1#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x you#mclaren#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1#formula one x y/n#formula one x you#formula one x oc
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Retail steph with damian and Jon? :) i love retail steph so much
(featuring Billy Batson because he only adds chaos and I love him)
Previous: Margie | Batkids | Rogues | Justice League | Retail batkids | Retail Bruce | Young Justice | Black Friday | Valentine's Day
[grocery store]
Steph, working the bakery section: How can I help you boys today?
Jon: We're getting a cake for our friend's birthday. Chocolate with buttercream frosting, please.
Steph: Do you want it to say anything?
Jon: Yes. "Happy 14th B-day, Billy!"
Steph: What color?
Damian: Red.
Steph: *starts writing on the cake*
Damian: Please also add: "Despite your shortcomings and lack of maturity, you are a valuable part of our team and as you get older, I expect you to gain greater wisdom that will aid us in our goals and prospects."
Steph: *struggling to fit it on the cake*
———————
[coffee shop]
Damian: Can we try the five-drink espresso flight?
Steph: You sure?
Billy, eyeing an unsuspecting Jon: Yes.
Steph: Alrighty.
*moments later*
Jon, after his fifth espresso: I'M KING OF THE UNIVERSE!
Jon: *shoots through the ceiling*
Damian: *grumbles and hands Billy ten bucks*
Steph, sighing: I'll get the broom.
———————
[clothing store]
Jon: *dancing in the dressing room with light-up shoes*
Damian: *T-posing in a trenchcoat*
Billy: *filming them*
Steph: What are you doing?
Billy: Making a TikTok.
Steph: Well, you can't have cameras in the dressing rooms. I'm gonna have to ask you to stop.
———————
[drive-thru]
Damian: One vegetarian Batburger, one regular Batburger, and one order of Night-Wings. And an extra-extra-extra large Ivy Salad.
Steph: Did you take the Batmobile again?
Damian: No.
Steph: Why don't you pull up to the window and prove it?
Damian, Jon, and Billy: *ride up on Bat-Cow*
———————
[furniture store]
Jon: What's a warranty?
Damian: It's a court order to arrest someone.
Steph: That's a warrant. A warranty covers the cost of something if it gets damaged within a certain amount of time. In our case, the store has a one-year warranty on all items. What are you looking to buy?
Billy: *enters pushing a Pinball machine*
Damian: ...It's for school.
———————
[restaurant]
Steph: What can I get you?
Damian: We'll split a pizza.
Steph: Okay, anything else?
Billy, as Shazam: An alcohol.
Steph: "An alcohol?"
Billy: Yes, your finest alcohol. Sharing size, please.
Steph: I'll need to see some ID.
Billy, nervous: What's there to see? I'm clearly an adult.
Steph: I need them for everyone at the table.
Damian: *pulls out Jason's crime lord license*
Jon: *sticks on a fake mustache*
———————
[call center]
Steph, stifling a yawn: Wayne Enterprises account support, how can I help you?
Damian: Why are you still working? It's midnight.
Steph: Overnight shift. This is a 24-hour line. What do you need, Damian?
Damian: Nothing. We just wanted to annoy you.
Steph: We?
Jon: Hiya!
Billy: 'Sup.
———————
[sleepover at the Manor]
Steph: Alfred told me to bring you some snacks.
Damian: Excellent.
Steph: *leaves the room*
Steph, internally: What do kids these days even do at sleepovers?
Steph: *presses her ear to the door*
Damian: Truth or Dare?
Jon: Truth.
Damian: Which one of my siblings do you like best?
Jon: Steph, all the way.
Billy: I agree, she's the coolest. Remember when she drove us to get midnight breakfast on my birthday?
Jon: And when she promised not to tell my parents when I broke the café ceiling.
Billy: Or when she took us for a walk and actually explained why we couldn't make TikToks in the store instead of going "because I said so" like other adults.
Jon: Plus, she gave all the leftover salad to Bat-Cow and helped us set up the Pinball machine downstairs.
Billy: Ooh, and she's really good at making mocktails.
Jon: Also, she extended our free trial of the Daily Planet for our social studies project.
Damian: Hm... point taken.
Billy: And she's hot.
Damian: Say that again and I will smite you with your own powers.
Steph: *smiles softly*
#stephanie brown#spoiler#damian wayne#robin#jon kent#superboy#billy batson#shazam#super sons#batfamily#batfam#batboys#batbros#batgirls#batkids#batsiblings#batman family#batman#superman#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#dc comics#headcanon#batposting#shitpost#tw alcohol mention#tw food mention
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This is probably small in the grand scheme of things, but how did Emilie being noble play any impact in the story at all?
I mean, I'd get it if it was just a small detail to help deepen Emilie's character, but why nobility of all things? I don't know, from what I'm seeing so far, the whole "Emilie renounced her noble title" shtick just feels worthless if it's not going to impact the story or add depth to Emilie's character (like maybe upbringing or personal values?).
I don't know. Like everything else, the noble part just feels shallow and means nothing to the story, especially for a character like Emilie, who is the plot device for the whole show. Any detail about her, like her personality and life story, is supposed to influence the story and characters one way or another, namely Hawkmoth since she's his driving force.
So what was the point?
For context, this ask is about Félix's play which says that Emilie gave up her title to be with Gabriel. I'm gonna give a slightly larger section of the transcript of the play for full context, but the relevant but is at the end of the last paragraph:
Félix: The king and queen's twins grew up, each day as different in heart as they were similar in body. The firstborn, curious and brazen, despised life at court and escaped at every opportunity. The younger daughter, well-behaved and respectful, did everything she could to please her parents, and stayed quietly in the castle. Félix: (as Mr. Graham de Vanily) Oh, my queen. Did we entrust our legacy to the right princess? Kagami: (as Mrs. Graham de Vanily) She will fall in line, eventually. Félix: Confident that she would settle down as she matured, the king and queen allowed the curious princess to leave to study beyond the sea in another kingdom. There, she immediately found true love in a humble tailor. Félix: The tailor was making clothes so magnificent that they revealed the beauty of the soul of anyone who wore them. Although it made her parents furious, the curious princess gave up her rank, her wealth and her kingdom to live a bohemian life with the tailor.
Story wise, I have no idea why any of this was added since it adds nothing to canon. It's not like this finally explains why Gabriel and Emilie are poor while Amelie is wealthy. Along similar lines, it's not like Amelie's title has ever mattered. Prior to this play, I don't think that we even knew that she had a title or that she was the younger sister. The play is all about explaining things that we never had reasons to question in the first place.
My best guess as to why the writers wrote this pointless backstory is that they wanted to make Emilie seem even more pure and perfect so they went with the tired old trope of a rich girl giving up material things for the sake of love and art because good pure women don't care about material things! Only nasty, shallow women care about money. (Way to play into sexist tropes, guys.)
There may also be cultural elements at play here given that France doesn't have the greatest history with nobility, so giving up a noble title may be seen as good and pure to a French writer, but I don't know enough about French culture to say that with any certainty. If anyone who reads this blog is French and would like to chime in, then feel free!
While we're on the topic of the play, I wanted to point out that the above quoted passage is why I say that the Graham de Vanily parents can be as kind or as abusive as you'd like to make them. It's incredibly vague and you can read into it whatever you want to read into it. Were they good loving parents who were just upset about their daughter living in poverty or were they miserable controlling classist who Emilie fled England to get away from? It's up to you because you can get both reads from this. The play commits to almost nothing of value. Politicians could take lessons from this impressive level of noncommittal writing.
A better version of the play would have focused on things that actually matter to canon like the details of finding the miraculous and/or Emilie learning she's sick, but you could only have those details if they were coming from Nathalie or Gabriel. Félix is a terrible choice for a character to tell us the show's backstory because he knows so little of it, thus the play focusing on his largely pointless backstory.
#blckwhtepersona#ml writing critical#ml writing salt#Side note but looking up transcripts for this seasons is a total nightmare#The episode names are so confusing I keep thinking the play was in “Revelation” but it's actually “Representation”#Whoever came up with the names for this season is at the top of my shit list
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Untouchable VIII - Azriel x Reader
Untouchable - Azriel x Rhysand'sSister!Reader
Summary: For as long as you can remember, you have always had feelings for Azriel, your court’s spymaster. But after centuries of watching him pine after your own cousin, hoping he’d eventually move on, your wish came true. He moved on—with Elain, your brother’s mate’s sister. Unable to watch him fall in love with someone else again, you flee from Velaris, from him. But things are a lot more complicated than that—more complicated than you ever imagined.
Warnings: angst angst angst
a/n: Hey guys! Sorry I took so long to update this story. I got major writer's block for it :(( This chapter is short but I wanted to get something out to you guys. We're almost at the end though! One more part after this and then an epilogue <3 Thank you guys for all the kind words/support! I don't have a lot of free time so I'm shit at replying to your comments/asks but I promise I read them all and they make me so happy! Hope you enjoy!
➻❥ Part I ➻❥ Part II ➻❥ Part III ➻❥ Part IV ➻❥ Part V
➻❥ Part VI ➻❥ Part VII ➻❥ Part VIII ➻❥ Part IX ➻❥ Part X
─── ⋅ ��� ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
Part VIII
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
You stumbled backwards, away from the evil sorcerer who was hovering above the lake. You frantically looked at Cedric. “Please, Cedric, what is this?”
He didn’t even look your way. You kept stumbling back until you knocked into the hard chest of one of the guards. He grabbed you by the upper arms, locking you in place despite your attempts to wiggle free.
“I brought you the girl,” Cedric said to Koschei. “Now it’s time to uphold your part of the deal.”
You twisted to look up at the guard. “Deal? What deal is he talking about?”
But the guard ignored you too.
Koschei waved a dismissive hand at Cedric, his eyes still lingering on you as if you were the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen. "Yes, yes. You will have my support to overthrow your father."
"I need more than just your word," Cedric grumbled. "I'm not handing over the girl until you make a bargain with me."
Koschei laughed under his breath. "You wish to make a bargain with me?"
While the sorcerer's attention was elsewhere, you realized this might be your one and only chance to break free.
You threw your cuffed arms up around the head of the guard holding you in place and bucked forward as hard as you could, effectively tossing him over you and onto the muddy ground. A move Azriel had taught you once.
You ignored the shouts and yells as you darted off towards the wooded area that surrounded the lake. You couldn't winnow away, not while the faebane handcuffs were still on you. But maybe you could run and hide, buying yourself some time to think of an actual plan to escape.
You darted into the trees, forcing yourself to run as fast as you could. The air was cold, making it hard to breathe but you pushed yourself forward. You could hear the pounding of feet running behind you. You chanced a glance over your shoulder to see the three guards chasing you but no Cedric or Koschei.
One of the guards winnowed into the clearing in front of you, causing you to scream as you ran straight into him, knocking both of you on the ground. You rolled off him before he could grab you and winnow you away, pushing yourself to your feet. The guard snarled, getting off the ground faster than you considering his hands were free.
"Don't you run," he growled at you.
You took a step back. Another.
Rhysand! Help!
You screamed and screamed for your brother in your head, even though you knew he wouldn't be able to hear you from this distance. You were fucked.
"My brother will come for you if you don't let me go," you hissed at the guards, keeping out of their reach. They were circling you like they were predators who had just found dinner.
One of the guards scoffed. "With Koschei on our side, your brother won't be able to do anything to us."
"Koschei is offering his support to Cedric to kill the King," you shouted back. "Not to help Vallahan fight against the Night Court and its allies once my brother has realized what you've done!"
That seemed to make the guards pause for a second, the three of them exchanging glances as if now just realizing how stupid the Prince's plan was. Mor knew you were going to visit Cedric. That's where they'd look for you first once they didn't hear from you. And you knew your brother would rain hellfire down on the Prince's territory to get you back.
Suddenly a loud noise cracked in the air like two boulders smashing against each other, causing the ground to rumble. You fell, your legs collapsing, as three people winnowed into the clearing. You let out a cry of relief. Your brother stood in his fighting leathers, looking ready to murder with Cassian by his side. But it was Azriel who made you falter.
You had never seen him look as angry as he did now—it almost spiked fear in you despite knowing none of it was directed in your way. He looked feral, unhinged.
The three guards around you were misted by your brother before you could even blink. Their blood rained down on you, still slightly warm. You gagged, rolling over and trying to push yourself to your feet.
“Y/N!”
You heard your brother shout but his warning came too late.
You felt someone grab you by your hair, lifting you off the floor. You let out a cry of pain, your cuffed hands rising to grab the attacker by their wrist to get some of the pressure off your scalp. You were turned forward to face your brother and the two Illyrians just as the cold metal of a dagger was placed against your throat.
“Don’t move,” Cedric ordered and you realized it was him who had you in his grasp.
“Get your hands off of her,” Azriel growled. It was dark and full of primal rage. You knew Cedric felt it by the way his body shuddered in response but he held his ground.
“I don’t think so, shadowsinger,” Cedric hissed.
Azriel’s shadows poised around him like venomous snakes ready to attack. Your heart was pounding in your chest, your nerves on fire. But still, the pain of seeing Azriel fought its way through despite the dire circumstances. The image of him and Elain together was enough to almost fold you into Cedric’s embrace.
Perhaps death would be a mercy compared to the anguish building in your chest.
You focused on your brother instead. His violet eyes were hardened with rage, his entire body tense. “Let my sister go, you bastard, and I’ll consider making your death swift and painless.”
Cedric chuckled, his hand in your hair tightening causing you to whimper at the sharp pain. Azriel took a step forward at the noise but came to a halt, his eyes drifting to the area above your head.
You felt it then, that dark presence. The foreboding. You knew Koshcei was in the clearing now. Could feel his horrid magic in the air. This was a powerful death god sorcerer and despite your brother being the most powerful High Lord, he was no match with a God. None of them would be.
“Kill them,” Cedric demanded as he too realized Koschei was here.
But the death god did no such thing. Instead, you felt his darkness wrap around you, encompassing you into its hold. You let out a cry of fear, calling out for your brother.
“The girl belongs to me now,” Koschei said. “Leave and never return or I will do more than just keep her as a little pet.”
“Why do you want her?” Rhysand switched into his diplomatic role, realizing a fight would not be won here today. “Whatever you need her for, I’m certain I can do it all the same. Better, even.”
He was…He was offering himself over to the sorcerer in place of you?
“No, Rhys,” you cried out. “Just go!”
But you were ignored.
“Unfortunately,” Koschei drawled. “I do not have a taste for males otherwise I would take you up on your offer. But your sister will do just fine. There is nothing you can give me for her. I don’t think you even realized what a prize she was—what sort of power she holds.”
“Anything,” Rhys begged. “Please, I will give you anything. You want my armies, you can have them. You want my court, take it! Just give her back. Please.”
You couldn’t believe the words coming from his mouth. Rhys would never give up his power, would never give away his court and his people. But here he was, offering up all he had for you. You had caused this. You had made the mistake of running away to Cedric. This was all your fault.
“Get him out of here!” you shouted to Cassian and Azriel.
All you could think about was your brother’s lovesick bargain with Feyre, of his death leading to hers, of Nyx left with no parents. No…Rhys needed to get out of here before things got worse. You tried to convey your thoughts to the other two Illyrians with a single look. Cassian gave you a dip of the head in understanding, evidently having the same thoughts.
Azriel wouldn’t look at you, his rage filled eyes focused on the sorcerer that held you.
“Anything,” Rhys pleaded again, surging forward. But Cassian gripped him by the shoulders, holding him back. “I’ll give you anything.”
Your eyes darted between the three of them. At Cassian’s look of despair and uncertainty, Rhy’s pleading face and Azriel….Azriel who was shrouded in his shadows, who circled him in a frenzy—his eyes darkened, his lips twisted in a snarl. He took another step forward.
“Let her go,” he growled. You swore the birds in the clearing took off fluttering, as if they knew the sort of darkness that was coming. But Koschei let out a small noise of understanding before he chuckled—an awful noise.
“What an interesting turn of events,” Koschei purred, his grip on you tightening.
“Kill them,” Cedric hissed, slight panic in his eyes. If Koschei left him behind, you knew your brother would tear him to pieces.
Koschei chuckled again, as if realizing the same thing. In the end, he would get what he wanted without having to follow through on his half of the bargain, not if Cedric was dead.
“Say goodbye to your brother,” Koschei laughed in your ear. “And your lover and friend. You’ll never see them again.”
“I’m sorry, Rhys,” you cried. “I’m so, so sorry.”
Rhys fell to his knees, Cassian still holding him back with his lips pressed in a thin line. You felt Koschei’s shadows wrapping you up, spreading up your legs. Time was running out. Azriel stepped closer with another growl.
“I will kill you for this,” he promised, his eyes shifting from Cedric to the sorcerer. “Let her go!”
Your voice caught in your throat. All the words you wished to say to him with it. You loved him, still, even after knowing these past few months had all been a lie. Your heart was broken, stomped on, discarded by the only one you had ever given it to—but you loved him. You always would.
He finally looked at you, his hazel eyes so full of rage but you saw it then, the fear.
“Take me,” Azriel shouted. “Take me instead!”
Koschei laughed again. “Oh, but it is much more fun this way, shadowsinger.”
His shadows spread over your torso, up your neck, nearly choking you. Tears ran down your face; you were gasping for air. You took one more look at Azriel. One more look at the male you loved with all your heart. One last look because you knew you’d never see him again.
Azriel met your gaze—fear and anguish written all over his face. And just as the shadows began to darken your vision, something snapped into place. Something gold and bright. A thread that extended from your chest and speared right into the shadowsinger. A mating bond.
Azriel’s grip his chest, his eyes wide, as he stumbled back a step. You watched him realize it at the same time as you. Something burned on your hip and you realized you were feeling Azriel’s bargain tattoo dissipating. He screamed your name as Koschei laughed one more time, swallowing you in his shadows.
Azriel’s pained roar shook the trees of the forest around them and echoed all the way to the small cabin on the lake, where you were thrown to the hard flooring, still shackled and trembling.
Koschei stood over you, his face a painted picture of glee and lust. He tsked, circling around your weeping form. Your thoughts were filled with Azriel. With your mate. You could feel his horror, his rage, his anguish, all through the bond.
“Did you know,” Koschei purred, “that Cedric and his family are quite exceptional at illusions? The magic runs in their family.”
You were crying, panting—barely able to hear his words.
“No, I suppose you didn’t,” Koschei laughed. “Those images of you walking in on your mate with that little fawn were never real, my dear. You fell for Cedric’s tricks and now you’re here. You’ll never see your mate again.”
Those images of you walking in on your mate with that little fawn were never real, my dear.
You hunched over, falling limp against the floor as sobs racked your body. You had lost everything, everything, tricked by that stupid Prince. You couldn’t breath, couldn’t think, couldn’t feel anything except the crushing weight of your despair.
And all you could hear were those final words.
Over and over and over again.
You’ll never see your mate again.
You’ll never see your mate again.
You’ll never see your mate again.
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
Tag List:
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(if you don't see your name and you asked to be on the taglist, I probably couldn't tag you for some reason)
#acotar#azriel#acotar fanfiction#acotar x reader#azriel x reader#acotar x you#azriel x you#azriel shadowsinger#azriel fanfic#azriel angst#shadowsinger x reader#azriel imagine#rhysand sister
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must be love ❥ s.winchester
summary: social media/modern era au with stanford! sam winchester
pairings: established sam winchester x reader, sam winchester x fem! reader
warnings: none really, no use of 'y/n', fluff, slice of life, references to drinking, and one mention of sex
a/n: first social media au so please be nice to be loll. but this was fun to make! and who knows i might make more in the future 🤭
also happy b-day to jared padalecki our cancer king 😩🙌 (him being a cancer makes so much sense to me), and the user: dianhhboo is actually my friend to introduced me to spn and i wanted to add her in the fic 🤭
reblog and comment! i love to see your thoughts on my fics (even if this isn't technically a fic lol)
𝘴𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵
yourusername
liked by jessymoore, samwinchester, and 1490 others
yourusername life lately <3
tagged: jessymoore, dianahhboo, samwinchester, deansbaby67 +3 more
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jessymoore we need to have more girls nights, finals are going to kill me ↳ yourusername 100% this paper might make me off myself ↳ dianhhboo remind me why i decided to major in psych 😭 ↳ jessymoore because we wanted free therapy after we graduated
deansbaby67 fyi i totally kicked your ass in cards ↳ yourusername mhm sure you did deanie you were totally not drunk off your ass the entire time ↳ deansbaby67 @ samwinchester sammy come and get your gf she's being mean to me ☹️ ↳ samwinchester not my problem 🤷♂️ ↳ deansbaby67 im never visiting you ever again
+ + +
samwinchester
liked by yourusername, dianhhboo, and 986 others
samwinchester study date for the LSATS with my love (we consumed so much coffee but she still fell asleep)
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bradybunch dude i thought you said you wanted to study alone ↳ samwinchester your idea of studying is just having your work out and being on your phone ↳ bradybunch harsh... but fair
yourusername i was running on fumes and that book was really boring i couldn't help it ↳ samwinchester how much sleep did you get in the past week... ↳ yourusername ummm like 5 hours... ↳ samwinchester per night? ↳ yourusername ...the entire week ↳ samwinchester BABE!? that's it, you're not studying anymore, come to my dorm, we're going to bed ↳ yourusername 😏😏 ↳ samwinchester we're SLEEPING honey ↳ yourusername 😒
deansbaby67 nerds ↳ samwinchester really dean? ↳ deansbaby67 just calling it how i see it ↳ samwinchester whatever 🙄
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yourusername
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yourusername guys i love my bf 🥰🥰
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deansbaby67 barf 🤢 this is not what i wanted to see first thing in the morning ↳ yourusername sorry mr. one night stands ↳ deansbaby67 are you slut shaming me? ↳ yourusername ofc i am 😍
samwinchester i love you too but why those photos 😭 ↳ yourusername why not? i need to show the ppl my smoking hot and sweet boyfriend 😘
jessymoore youre cheating on me?! im leaving and taking the kids ↳ yourusername WAIT NO BABE HE MEANS NOTHING I SWEAR DONT TAKE THE KIDS ↳ jessymoore too late the papers are on your desk ↳ deansbaby67 wth did i just read?
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samwinchester
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samwinchester love you my silly girl ❤️
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dianhhboo you guys are disgustingly cute ↳ jessymoore right? like please we get it you're in love
yourusername ive trained you well in taking candids 🤭 also when did you take those photos? ↳ samwinchester a magician never reveals his secrets 🤫 ↳ yourusername you're a dork ↳ samwinchester ah but you love this dork ↳ yourusername unfortunately ↳ samwinchester UNFORTUNATELY??
yourusername im kidding i love you sammy ❤️ ↳ samwinchester i love you too i guess ↳ yourusername oh great ive triggered sassy sammy
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yourusername
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yourusername officially moved in with sammy 💛
tagged: samwinchester
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deansbaby67 uhh at least tag me for helping you two dweebs move in? ↳ yourusername sorry 🙄
yourusername add'l creds to @ deansbaby67 bc he's a big baby ↳ deansbaby67 thank you future sister-in-law ↳ yourusername @ samwinchester 🤨🤨 wanna explain? ↳ samwinchester @ yourusername not really
winchestersmary congrats on moving in you two! i hope to see you soon ↳ yourusername aah thank you mary we'll be visiting for christmas 😁
samwinchester i love you baby ↳ yourusername love you more sammy ↳ samwinchester impossible
#daisy writes#I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT#also happy birthday to jared padalecki#sam winchester#sammy my boy#stanford era sam#jared padalecki#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester x you#sam winchester x female reader#sam winchester x fem reader#sam winchester fluff#social media au#sam winchester social media au#sam winchester fanfiction#supernatural#spn#supernatural x reader#spn x reader#supernatural fanfiction#spn fanfiction#supernatural social media au#spn social media au#jared padalecki x reader
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man. there are so many object shows out there. I NEED TO CATCH UP ON SO MANY why are the4e so many anyway Exclamation Mark (NOT AB) im killing you. he would get bullied off tumblr
#rocket talk #roc save #NOT THE ANIMATIC BATTLE ONE that ones fine #i mean the one in my header #hes an asshole #why do i keep accidentally hitting the number keys lately
(7 notes)
📉 storyboard-but-better Follow
i cant believe my contestants are so pissy over the second challenge still!!!! it was a coherent challenge i think "survive me killing you" is pretty straightforward!!! besides theyre fine now >:/
⏰ timeisatool Follow
Maybe it's becausw you killed them?
📉 storyboard-but-better Follow
well thats stupid
⚪ fuckingcircles Follow
I KNOW RIGHT!! my old contestants got SO pissy when i killed th3m!! just because theres no recovery... 😒
⏰ timeisatool Follow
You dont have recovery????
⭐ everybody-smile-smile-smile Follow
arent u supposed to be dead
⚪ fuckingcircles Follow
well im NOT so
❗ black-and-red Follow
Ugh, I haven't even killed anyone that much and they're still pissy! Honestly... just do the challenges and you'll be fine! I only threatened them..
⭐ everybody-smile-smile-smile Follow
well i thought i killed circle but ig not! and square but nobody else died idk why everuones so afraid of me... whats so wrong w wanting to make a perfect object show?
⏰ timeisatool Follow
Um
🔥 betterheatsflamesman Follow
yeah theres nothing wrong with that! you gotta do what you gotta do for your object show
⏰ timeisatool Follow
😰😰😰😰😰
⏰ timeisatool Follow
I want to leave this group...
#i thought we were all just supposed to be wacky and weird 😰😰 #mom come pick me up im scared...
(34 notes)
🔥🔃 betterheatsflamesman Follow reblogged 🪔 slay-style-queen
🪔 slay-style-queen Follow
Hey guys, just managed to get sponsored with my object show idea!!! (No thanks to you Lip Stick lol) wish me luck!! Also go keep an eye out on Village of Objects Official :D
🪔 slay-style-queen Follow
what the FUCK
🪔 slay-style-queen Follow
oh my god how do you all stay sane actually
4️⃣ four-therecord Follow
we don't! welcome to the club
🪔 slay-style-queen Follow
im never doing this again
#:)
(4,294 notes)
📻 annie-annie-ooh Follow
Who's Animatic?
#It's Your Fridge DJ! #I appreciate all the lovemail and the concern! ❤ #I don't understand some of the asks but thank you anyway!
(725 notes)
🧪🔃 test-tubular Follow reblogged 💥 fans-fantastic-features
🫵 have-you-heard-of-this-os Follow
Have YOU heard of:
🫵 have-you-heard-of-this-os Follow
Please stop debating on whether or not this "counts" as an object show, this was requested by an anon. If you want to do that on your own time on your own blog, feel free!
💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow
SORRY ABOUT THAT SJEHSKEB will move i promise 🙏
anyWAY on another note i miss this showww 😭 i was so intrigued about it but i guess i understand its cancellation... if anyone wants to come up with a rewrite w me hmu my ao3 is in my desc!!!!
⭐ everybody-smile-smile-smile Follow
just as long as you clarify its unofficial!! (:
💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow
its on ao3 ofc its unofficial
💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow
WAIT A GODDAMN SECON
#Fan we were /on/ an object show and technically famous I'm not sure why you're surprised at this point #Also get off your phone we're at Purgatory Mansion
(11,374 notes)
anonymous asked: hey greeny can you say trans rights for everyone out there
🟢 greenyguy Follow
trans rights AND trans wrongs. even if you like burger king i still support you <3
#burger king sucks ass tho dont do that to urself
(34,193 notes)
💥 fans-fantastic-features asked: im SO sorry for the sudden reply earlier, up until your post i thought hfjone was just some weird wild experimental show?? then again i shouldnt be surprised if happy star themselves is on this goddamn site (also sorry in advance for my friend TT sending you asks about alternate universes. shes a science nerd of all types and needs data or sm) if you want i can tell you what i know about your situation in a private chat, ive done a lot of deep dive analysis posts on my blog too and trust me when i say a LOT of the internet wants to help free you and everyone else you have plenty of help available spotty replies tho im investigating smth
🎒 liam-plecak Follow
I... yeah, I'd like that. Thanks.
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anonymous asked: battery ui is kind of already jailed but still
🔒 your-fav-would-be-jailed Follow
Battery from Ultimate Insanity would be jailed!
🔋 theft-and-battery Follow
Yeah
#Why did someone earlier send in that Walkie Talkie person? #I approve of the Blender submission though #Hate that guy
(12 notes)
🎒🔃 liam-plecak Follow reblogged 💥 fans-fantastic-features
🕹 fire-cartoon-schtick Follow
cant have shit in this fuckass hotel 😒😒😒 lens just died 😔😔
🕹 fire-cartoon-schtick Follow
#WHAT THE FUCK #DONT JUST DROP SMTH LIKE THAT AND DIP #ARE YOU OKAY?? #ARE YOU TALKING ABT A GAME???
hi! rhanks for the concern! 😁 i am unfortunately not talking about a game lens is actually dead please help me (dms r open 🙏🙏)
#Since I've gotten a lot of followers recently I feel like I should boost this #I'm busy with my own issues but maybe someone else can help?
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⚪ fuckingcircles Follow
i want my SHOW BACK i want my CO HOSTS BACK i want calculatory DEAD i only MILDLY HATE happy star i dont KNOW WHAT ELSE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT
🥝 gela-not-jelly Follow
🫵 Fanny kinnie
⚪ fuckingcircles Follow
who the FUCK is fanny
#im CIRCLE not a goddamn FAN #who even names themselves fanny anyway
(382 notes)
⚪battleforcircle asked: oml spiderman pointing meme
⚪ fuckingcircles Follow
you sent me this FIFTEEN TIMES get OUT of my ASKBOX!!!!
📉 storyboard-but-better Follow
why are there two of you...
⚪ fuckingcircles Follow
theres only ONE of me i dont know who this IS!!
⚪battleforcircle Follow
theres three of us just three of us
#idk why either tbh #tumblr just recommended his acc to me one day #he seems fun to annoy tho so ive taken it upon myself to do so #tee hee
(89 notes)
📶 she-walkie-on-my-talkie-till Follow
Hey so why is a known criminal on Tumblr?
📶 she-walkie-on-my-talkie-till Follow
Hello???
#rocket talk#roc save#unreality#fake dashboard#osc#object shows#object show community#animatic battle#itft#obsolete battle show#hsgtos#surreal salvation#village of objects#bfdi#brawling on planetary scales#inanimate insanity#ultimate insanity#greenyguy
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Agency Assignments: A comprehensive to-do list for saving Dead Boy Detectives!
I'm very easily overwhelmed, so I wanted to break down all the ways to help "Save Dead Boy Detectives" that I have seen floating around. This is meant to be something you can reference when you feel like there is so much you need and want to do to help, but don't know how or where to start.
Note: I will be updating this post as we go when necessary, so feel free to bookmark it in your browser for easy access, add it to your homepage, whatever! I'll always have a link to it in my Pinned Navigation post on my blog as well!
It is of the utmost importance that we fight as an organized, well-informed front. We need to be on the same page if we're going to save our show, so let's get into it! 💜💀🔎
➪ First and foremost, follow @savethedeadboys! They're going to be our best resource during this fight.
➪ Next, follow @deadboyagency for news and updates: they've been around since the show dropped and have been an invaluable source of information the entire time.
Now for some task breakdowns:
"One-Time" Tasks
➪ Like the header says, these things can only be done once. Once you do them, you don't have to give them any space in your mind.
Sign the petition*
Review & Rate Dead Boy Detectives on Google, IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes. Be sure on IMDB you don't just rate the show as a whole, but you also rate each individual episode! You can also "Like" the show on Google and click "Watched" which helps the show's engagement scores. (If there are other popular sites I haven't listed here, feel free to share them and rate Dead Boy Detectives highly on them!)
Notify Netflix customer service (through their online chat feature) that you're unhappy with the cancelation of Dead Boy Detectives. This is a short, 5-minute task that I wrote a guide on (with an example message) here!
"Repeat" Tasks:
➪ These tasks can become a part of your daily routine; do what works best for you! You don't have to do every single one of these tasks every day if that is overwhelming!
Share the petition* over and over again, on every one of your socials! Make everyone you love sign it!
Stream Dead Boy Detectives!* Keep it on a loop in the background on low volume as much as possible. Try to get others to stream it as well, especially if they haven't watched it before! Netflix cares about VIEWS: views save shows and I broke down the reasoning here. (Bonus: if you post over on Twitter about your rewatch, use the tag #ReviveDeadBoyDetectives)
Talk about Dead Boy Detectives!* You're probably doing that already, but just be sure that you're tagging your posts. Here on Tumblr use the "Dead Boy Detectives" tag at least (to boost our tag to trending) and anywhere that uses hashtags (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram for example) I would recommend #SaveDeadBoyDetectives and #DeadBoyDetectives as those seem to be the most commonly used tags! IMPORTANT: do not use more than 20 tags here on Tumblr! Any more than 20 and your posts might be marked as spam and hidden from the tags!
Create art, edits for TikTok, fics, gif sets, doodles, crafts, analysis posts, and so on for Dead Boy Detectives.* Having fun is important, too! This is an extension of the "Talk about Dead Boy Detectives" point, but it needs to be stated - don't remove the joy from the fight. If a drawing of our boys or a smutty fic with your favorite trickster cat king is what you can bring to the fight on any given day, that is a perfectly valuable contribution! It's not all emails and hashtags.
Daily request a show through Netflix. Bonus if you're signed in! (I do 3-5 times a day)
Send Emails advocating for Dead Boy Detectives (Email list & Email Template). You can do this as much as you want or just one time.
Send Snail-mail (physical letters) to Netflix advocating for Dead Boy Detectives. I also send a copy of my letters to Warner Bros. Studios. Again, you can do this one time or multiple times. There are dates set aside for "mass" mail sending as well, so check out info on that here!
Interact with articles posted about Dead Boy Detectives. Read them, share them, comment on them, thank the writer for writing them, etc. We want lots of press about the cancellation, and supporting journalists and publications will make them want to write about Dead Boy Detectives more.
NOTE: Anything marked with a * means it's extremely important; if you can only do a few things, these tasks are the ones that you should focus on first. Remember to take care of yourself. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so don't burn yourself out!
WE WILL SAVE THIS SHOW.
Say that to yourself as many times as it takes for you to believe it. We're doing this to get justice for the writers, the actors, for ourselves, and assert to these companies that diverse, queer stories are not disposable one-offs; they deserve to be told in full!
Hugs and Handshakes to you all - whatever will suffice. 💜 Always feel free to reach out if you have any questions, whether that be through private message or my ask box. I'm not going anywhere!
- V
#As promised! Sorry it took me longer than I originally anticipated. If I msised something please let me know!#dead boy detectives#dbda#save dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#payneland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#dbda netflix#the dead boy detective agency#monty finch#esther finch#the cat king#the night nurse#dead boy detectives netflix#the dead boy detectives#jenny green#dbda resources#dbda task list
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Euphrasie and the End
A Deep Dive into the Head Housemaiden and her symbolic meaning
Introduction
Spoilers for the whole game, and also the prologue, by the way.
Hello everybody. You may know me from that other post about Euphrasie or maybe the ludonarrative essay or the QOL one. No matter the case, today I return to my favorite side character, Euphrasie, the Head Housemaiden.
This all starts with a central thesis you're likely to be familiar with.
Euphrasie represents the end. In the most literal sense, she is where every journey ends. She is the representation of Siffrin's fears. With every repetition, Siffrin grows to dread and fear the sight of her, more than they ever do facing down the King again.
And I want to look at that.
The Damsel
It's a tale as old as time. The big bad has kidnapped the lovely princess! Everyone, we must save her! And so, our epic tale begins, as Mario chases after Peach and Link vows to return and save Zelda -
That, quite obviously, is Euphrasie. Albeit not your traditional princess, she's still a female figure with great importance to our protagonist. (Our protagonist, quite obviously, being Mirabelle.)
Mirabelle's entire journey begins with her fleeing the House and embarking on an adventure with one goal - return home, and free everyone. ISAT invokes many many many stereotypical RPG tropes.
It uses those tropes by going, well, you know how the story goes, let's get right into the meat of it, yeah? Because ISAT is a story that only works on the precipice of an ending. It's the last dungeon! We're back in starter town, transformed by the big bad, and now we gotta take it back. (Like, do I have to invoke Ocarina of Time, or something? You know how it goes, you've seen this story before.)
Siffrin isn't afraid of the journey, the intro makes that blatantly clear all on its own. This entire journey is, quite literally, the happiest Siffrin can ever remember being.
He doesn't want it to end.
The story ends when you save the damsel. She will reward the heroes (usually with a kiss, but this time with a hug), thank them for their efforts, and then the credits roll. If we want to stay here and be pedantic, we can pull examples out of our hats all day for this trope as old as time.
Euphrasie is the end, not just within the context of the game's individual story, but for its type of story. Pretty woman, trapped by the bad guy, last person to be saved, emotional importance to the protagonist, dramatically awaits the rescue by her dashing protagonist after giving her the magic ocarina blessing to give Mirabelle her Special Protagonist Power that makes her super special and immune to the bad guy.
Euphrasie also gets the addition of being the wise mentor, combining tropes a bit, though I don't think it's uncommon for mentor figures to be the kidnappees either, even if the example I'm thinking of first is Eyvel from Thracia 776. (And you see once again, that I am incapable of thinking outside of Fire Emblem comparisons.)
So, simply from her role alone, we expect her to be the story's natural conclusion, but the setting helps that point, too. It's the rooftop of the final dungeon. Very obvious location, yeah?
The game's structure also builds anticipation into meeting her. Here and there, you hear about her from Mirabelle. And, right before facing the King, that's when Mirabelle talks about Euphrasie in-depth, how Euphie should've been the chosen one. We've got a lot of ideas about Euphrasie now, we're thinking about her as we go into the final boss.
And Siffrin dies. Duh.
We're so close to the end, and it's torn away from us. We need to get to it, get to her. Finally get past the King to meet her.
She's the conclusion. And in this moment, she is the goal, too.
Speaking of the King, though --
The True Final Boss
As Siffrin faces the King again and again, they grow less scared. More jaded. If you die to him thrice (or play START AGAIN), you get the option to say "Let's just get right to it", and skip his entire monologue.
After all, you've beaten him once. You can do it again. So who cares about him, yeah? Facing him only gets easier and easier as the game progresses. The King may be scary still in some story aspects, but in gameplay? Not a chance.
ACT 4 doesn't end with him. It ends with her.
As Siffrin faces Euphrasie again and again -
(No, no, no, she could've answered your questions, why?!?)
(Even though you asked for something different at the start of this conversation...)
(WHY IS SHE REPEATING THE EXACT SAME THING?!?)
Siffrin (yelling4): "JUST TALK TO ME!!!
Talking to her again makes her scarier, because Siffrin may have gotten past the King, but he's never gotten past her. For all intents and purposes, Euphrasie is the final boss of the story.
Again, ACT 4 - Siffrin's deepest moment of despair, confirmation of ultimate failure, is her.
Speaking of final bosses...
They both cut a rather striking silhouette, don't they?
Yes, yes, islander theory, white hair. That's an in-universe theory though, but the point is, it does make them look similar. They both have long cascading white hair, they're both extremely tall. They are both similar yet different in appearance.
Euphrasie is rounded where the King is jagged, namely. Soft where he is imposing. But those similarities still remain. Contrasting figures that only enhance the similarities all the more.
(I felt utterly insane for seeing this, but. Do you see it. DO YOU??) (Like. Outside of any theory stuff, her being the only person to have white hair beside King and Siffrin, long white hair to boot, has thematic signifcance as well, yes?)
[Side note: Yes, it is utterly irrelevant here that insertdisc5 said her hair is dyed, because it is STILL a striking resemblance of character design that can be interpreted with symbolic meaning, thank you~)
The trangles.
Though she may overshadow the King as the Endpoint past ACT 2 in ISAT, she does not in START AGAIN.
In START AGAIN, the ending beyond does not exist, for all intents and purposes. The endpoint was pulled forward. Whereas ISAT Siffrin's true dread sets in after beating the King, in SASASAP, it does so in the break room right before facing him.
Or, well, the resignation.
In In Stars and Time:
Siffrin (fake1): "Hi." Siffrin (fake1): "You can start breaking down now." Euphrasie (sorry1): Breaking down...? What do you...
In Start Again:
(You wonder how everyone will die this time.) (Will the King beat them with Craft until they are no more?) (Will he freeze them in time, unable to move or breathe for all eternity?) (How will YOU meet your end?) (In blood and stars maybe... In tears and time perhaps...)
The natural acceptance that, (you can look at the title of this again) this is the end. That there is no getting past this. They are both the last obstacle that can never be overcome, between the games.
Hell, just COMPARE SAP's true ending to like, the end of ACT 4.
Siffrin awakens in the meadow. Everything was in vain. Everything was useless.
Siffrin finally, after a thousand loops or even more, beat the King. This is supposed to be the end, but it's not. So, this proves once and for all that there is no escape. They're trapped here forever.
They built it up for so long in their head that all they have to do is beat the King, and then the suffering's over.
And in ACT 4... Siffrin builds it up for so long in their head... All they have to do is ask the Head Housemaiden about Wish Craft. That's it. That's the answer! After that, it's the end! It'll be over! He just needs to do this one thing...
Loop (away1): ...Is that so? But, didn't you already-- Siffrin (unhinged1): "It is so!" Siffrin (unhinged1): "I might be able to break the loop, somehow!" Loop (away1): ... Siffrin (unhinged1): "You know, it might just be that I need to make everyone's wish come true! And everything will be back to normal!" Siffrin (unhinged1): "If I talk to her, she'll know, she'll be able to tell me what to do..." Siffrin (unhinged4): "If I can just talk to her...!"
And is wrong, of course. They wake up in the meadow and despair. So, this proves once and for all that there is no escape. They're trapped here forever.
Siffrin: "Or, or does it mean-- It means--" Siffrin: "It means I'm stuck here for good, aren't I?" Siffrin: "Forever?" Loop: ... Loop: . . . (. . .) Siffrin: (No.) "You think I'm stuck here forever."
It's the exact same mindset with different characters representing the end point. The parallel becomes even more evident in that Siffrin's very last manic shot at victory is the exact thing that proved Loop's failure - supposing that the King is the true end point.
Yet it's also different, in what these two characters represent.
The King is very much a representation of the past. His fate in ACT 5 ultimately proves what it means to refuse to let go - being frozen in time is both a metaphor and very literal. He's stuck in the past, by choice. He could've lived and chosen to embrace Vaugarde and move on, but he didn't.
Y'know, he's a bad end Siffrin, metaphorically (albeit not literally. Narrative mirrors and all.) He's what Siffrin would end up like if they never learned their lesson. If they keep refusing to let go of the past... and embrace the future.
Euphrasie's Agency and lack thereof
To Siffrin, there is no future. They can't conceive of what happens after this journey. So, the character marking the endpoint of the journey, and the start of a new chapter in Siffrin's life, cannot see a future either.
It's... fascinating, to me. How Euphrasie is a vessel of Siffrin's insecurities by force. Siffrin's Wish has taken hold of her. It's using her as a stop, on purpose.
Odile (worried2): Because... Talking to you... Means our journey to save Vaugarde is really over, isn't it? Odile (gimme1): And for you, Siffrin, it also meant all of us going our separate ways, doesn't it? Isabeau (angry1): The very thing the loops were trying to stop...
(Points at my first point about Euphrasie being the Damsel, and thus the natural endpoint of any given RPG. Hey. Hey do you see how obvious this is yet.)
Euphrasie seems to have some sort of ability to feel Wish Craft, or the Universe, or Change, or whatever. She knows what her role in this play is, most of the time. "I can feel it! We both know this! It's all over when you talk to me!"
(IT'S ALL OVER WHEN YOU TALK TO HER.)
What she says mirrors what Siffrin thinks about her. This becomes most obvious only in retrospect, looking once again at the ACT 4 finale.
Euphrasie always says the same thing, because she is the end and the end can neither change nor ever arrive, but she can only say something new in one circumstance.
Siffrin (angry4): (You just wish she would ANSWER YOU!!!!!!) "Now that you know, now that I know, you can fix it!!!" Euphrasie (ending3): . . . Euphrasie (ending3): Fix it?
When Siffrin wishes for her to. Her capability to act in new ways is directly controlled by Siffrin's desire. Since the entire loops are caused by their subconscious desire to stay with everyone, she fulfills the role of keeping everyone together.
Thinking back on what she says...
"I know you thought your quest was over, but it can't be."
Your quest. Yes, quest is also used in a general story context, especially in fantasy, but Quest has long since become a well-established term in video games of all stripes. Sidequests, Main quest, hey, isn't it weird how ISAT refers to all its storylines as quests?
Friendquests being the obvious example. Fetch Quest, Companion Quest, Tutorial Quest, Really? He doesn't need your help with a quest?
But outside of that... I know I just know these terms because of my script wizard activities, but every storyline is a quest. Kingquest. Loopquest. Friendquest.
There's any number of words that could be chosen ("journey" probably being most prominent) and yet she says quest. By using a term inoxerably tied to video games by this point, she's saying "I know you thought the game was over, but it can't be."
And see how the game uses glitched imagery and static to represent everything breaking down, both at the end of every loop, and in ACT 5. This imagery is just confusing and means nothing to the characters, but is very obvious if you are Playing A Game.
The fuzzy static of an old TV, the bars of screen corruption, random symbols in text, the distorted music like a malfunctioning cassette tape…
If I may be so bold as to harken back to one of my own previous essays... The timeloop is the game.
It all ends when you talk to her. Everything ends when you talk to her. The goddamn game ends when you talk to her for the last time.
I got a bit of track here from the point, which is- her agency.
As we've established, she functions as Siffrin's own stop, on purpose. She can only act independently when Siffrin wishes her to.
And her not doing so is the beginning marker of everything breaking down in ACT 5, as well.
When Mirabelle interrupts her usual greeting speech, Euphrasie reacts differently immediately. She takes a look at Siffrin, diagnoses them with Craft overusage, and says they just need rest.
"But he'll be fine, now that the battle is over."
But, as usual, she can... sense what's happening.
"Every time I've tried to reach out and feel what's happening, I sense... Chaos..." "It feels like something is... Rotting..."
Mirabelle: "...?" Isabeau: "Rotting...?" Euphrasie: "I know you thought your quest was over, but it can't be! Something's broken, something's failing, rotting!"
She even skips back and forwards between all her different lines, everything Siffrin expects of her and has memorized by now, when we've seen that she was acting differently just a moment before.
It's Siffrin's wish kicking in again that marks the final straw once more, their clashing desire to stay in the loop against his desparate will to escape, resulting in Euphrasie being torn between who she actually is (acting new! moving forward!) against what Siffrin needs her to be.
(you're still stuck here) (but isn't it fine?) (eternity is within your grasp)
Mentioning eternity even harkens back both to the King ("I just want eternity.") AND the ACT 4 ending ("To know you'll be trapped for all eternity, Siffrin... I am so sorry!!!").
Again, like, Euphrasie's agency being torn from her, falling back into that old pattern, is what marks Siffrin realizing he's been wishing for eternity this entire time. It's written on the wall all over ACT 4.
Like, literally, textually, if you choose to pray to the intact Change God statue in ACT 4, Siffrin's prayer is "(You wish for eternity.)"
Because in the course of all these loops, Siffrin has been denying everyone's agency. Euphrasie is just the most prominent example. In ACT 5, by wishing for eternity, what Siffrin has (accidentally) forced onto Euphrasie all this time, he is trying to force onto everyone.
Whether or not Euphrasie is allowed to be a person is a direct marker of Siffrin's ability to escape the loop. It's only over when she's allowed to be free.
Euphrasie is the first person in the ending to mention going home.
"Finally, you'll all be able to go home!!!"
But in ACT 6, she doesn't. She doesn't mention going home at all. Instead, she tells everyone a new story. One Siffrin's never heard before.
Allowing Euphrasie to be free turns her back into the symbol of change that she's supposed to be. I'm repeating myself, but it truly is her change that is the definite, 100% sure marker that Siffrin is free, too. That the future is here.
Why are circles a symbol of change, anyway?
In me saying, Euphrasie symbolized stagnation, until Siffrin allows her to stand for the future again, it is irony. It is immense irony that the Head Housemaiden of Change Itself turns into a symbol of endings and stagnation through Siffrin's denial.
And, on the topic of irony, I ask you:
When the hell are circles a symbol of change???
You know. Circles. The things that famously represent cycles (wow, wonder if those words are related), repetition, infinity and eternity.
Isn't that weird. Isn't that ironic. The entire symbology of the House of Change is supposed to represent, well, Change, but just amounts to representing cycles (yknow, THE LOOPS. LITERAL TIME CYCLES.) through the recontextualization of Siffrin's experience with them.
Even the Change God doesn't oppose the time loops, instead being excited for how Siffrin changes as everything else stays the same.
The circle symbol is a witty act of irony from a design standpoint, and one I must only applaud, because why the hell didn't I see that sooner.
No, like, for real. If anybody knows some real life religion or culture where circles represent change and new beginnings instead of revolutions or the turn of seasons or the cycle of life and all that stuff. Please do tell me about it? I'm not omnipotent.
But generally, the irony of Euphrasie carries forward into the irony of the Change religion as in-universe these are symbols of change, but out of universe, to us, the players, they're symbols of repetition. Just like how to everybody else Euphie is a change, but to Siffrin she is stagnation. (Re: my other essay where I compare Siffrin to a video game player and the timeloops to a video game and I go on a whole metanarrative tangent.)
This plays into the metanarrative! Making meaning to the characters and to us incongruent! And it's cool as fuck, what can I say.
To cap off, let's compare what she says in every normal loop, and ACT 6, won't we?
Euphrasie (smiling4): Finally, you'll all be able to go home!!! Euphrasie (smiling3): If there's anything the House of Dormont can do to thank you... Please do not hesitate. Euphrasie (thankyou1): But for now... Bask in the feeling of a job well done!!!
And, in ACT 6….
Euphrasie (smiling2): I'm sure you must have a lot to talk about with everyone. Euphrasie (smiling1): But be sure to talk to me when you're all done! Euphrasie (smiling4): So I can happily bless you and your companions' new journey!!!
A Plain Ol' Euphrasie Character Analysis
Heyo, that finishes my essay on Euphrasie's symbolic meaning about narrative and shit! But...
It feels kind of mean, to write so much about what her agency and lack thereof represent, without actually talking about who she is. I didn't mention that a lot, see, because it's not important. Because that part's not important to Siffrin, because during the timeloops, Siffrin doesn't see her as a person.
So. Let's talk about her! Who is she? What is she like? What does she do?
Personality
The Good and the Funny
She's really funny. I mean it. Generally, she loves to joke around, and she has this ojou-sama style "Ohoho~" laugh that I find utterly delightful.
Siffrin (tired2): "But you might know something about--" Euphrasie (smiling4): Ohohoho! Euphrasie (smiling4): Sorry, I know nothing until you talk to your friends! Euphrasie (smiling3): And quite honestly, it is a little funny to see you get steamed about this, ohoho!
So many things in this bit. This is from when you try to talk to her before all the others in a regular loop. The reason she doesn't talk back first is of course because of the whole Agency thing (see above), but also, it's funny for her to take the piss.
Yet her wanting Siffrin to talk to everyone else first also shows that she's a very considerate person! This is The Saviours' Big Moment, and she is dying to talk to Mirabelle's new friends, but she doesn't want to take away from that. She's gonna give them her moment, and only butt in once all the hugs and tears and cheers have been had.
You can see this in ACT 5, too. She doesn't pass out or anything when Siffrin smacks her away, she just recognizes that her presence is upsetting to Siffrin, she doesn't know them or their problems, so she's gonna step back and let them figure it out themselves.
Euphrasie (smiling4): Ohohoho! Don't worry about me, everyone! Mirabelle (awawa1): H-Head Housemaiden! You're okay!!! Euphrasie (smiling3): I am! I was staying away for a little bit. Euphrasie (thankyou1): You all seemed like you needed to talk, so I was patiently waiting for you all to finish your conversation! Bonnie (serious1): That's very considerate of you. Isabeau (hahaha1): It IS very considerate of you!
She even during the hand holding scene is SO considerate that she doesn't speak up and include herself until Odile asks her to join in. Which might be a bit much, actually.
Odile (lol2): Fine. Let's hold hands, then. (Odile takes Bonnie's hand.) Odile (yeah1): Head Housemaiden? Euphrasie (thankyou1): Oh! Yes, of course!
That lil "Oh!" showing she's surprised to be adressed and included in this conversation.
Anyways, the previous exchange also gives us two OTHER delightful facts about her.
Euphrasie (smiling3): I haven't had this much fun since reading the last issue of "The Cursing of Château Castle"!!!
Meaning:
She's a bit of an adrenaline junkie, and considers getting slapped across the room "fun"
The coveted last issue of Cursing of Chateau Castle in the pottery room is hers.
Delightful woman. I love her.
She's also pretty frank! She talks a lot in snappy phrases and witticisms. She's kind and patient, for one, but really not afraid to mince words.
Euphrasie (smiling4): I thought we all knew that the Change God is a pretty lazy deity! Bonnie (wait1): Wow... Odile (urgh1): Isn't that a sacrilegious thing to say...?
Really makes me like her all the more that secondhand, she comes across as graceful, larger than life, almost, and then she simply doesn't care all that much about propriety and what someone of her station is actually supposed to be like. It really fits in with the Change Belief and the ethos of being true to yourself that she doesn't bend herself like that.
I'll also continue to be delighted that she described the King defeating her as knowing that "[she] was toast", just, she's just so casual.
Guilt and Responsibility
In more serious matters. The guilttttttt.
Yeah, she's casual, but she still obviously puts a lot of focus on her responsibility to the people of the House, of Dormont. We know that she was preparing for the King to arrive. She was studying Wish Craft, she was contemplating counter measures. She was making charts of who wished what to figure out whether this could stop him.
(...The Head Housemaiden...) (She's the one who wrote this. She knows about Wish Craft.) (She knew something was wrong, this whole time.) (She might know... How to...)
There's a degree of paranoia evident that we don't see in any of her time onscreen, but you can wonder what it says about a woman to have a deadly rock trap in front of her office.
AND she doesn't have her key out in the open, she has it taped to the underside of her desk drawer. Not an infallible hiding spot, but still hidden, and not just stored.
The other people in the House were all also revealed to be the ones locking doors in the party's path, hoping that it would stop the King.
Bonnie (sad1): . . .You know, I was wondering... Bonnie (sulk2): Like, the King clearly closed this door, and put the Tears in our way... Bonnie (sad1): But the... But the locked doors, weren't they... Mirabelle (sad2): ... Odile (dotdotdot2): Yes... We were wrong. Odile (dotdotdot1): They were most likely locked by residents of the House.
Speaking of people hoping to stop the King, she has a mountain of notes on him in her office as well.
(Some notes about the King.) (The Head Housemaiden must've been looking for more information about him...)
She hid her key, trapped her door, and before that, gathered information on the King and how to counter him. So, let me ask, do you think she improvised her blessing?
Mirabelle (excited1): She's also a great Crafter! She always creates wonderful items that makes everyone's lives easer! Mirabelle (awkward2): She taught me so much... Most of the Craft skills I know, I learned from her.
She's a skilled Crafter to boot, eh?
Looking at this, I don't really think so. Beneath that jolly front, she is a logical and pragmatic woman. Looking at her ability to specifically counter the King's Curse in context of how much we know she prepared for his arrival, I believe she prepped this blessing beforehand. Whether she actually finished it, I don't know, but she had to pick Mirabelle as a subject for it quickly and under duress.
Mirabelle wasn't the ideal choice. She was the logical choice.
Euphrasie (smiling3): Well, I only had the strength to bless one person, and I was already toast, and you were almost out of the House when the King attacked... Euphrasie (smiling3): So, really, you were the only logical choice!
There are some more emotional reasons for the pick, which I'll go into later when talking about Mira, but, still. She mentions this first, before going into Mirabelle's virtues as a person.
Plus, Claude (who will also get a section later), is the person closest to the King and Euphie. She's got the Secret Ingredient for the bomb on her, and had obviously been working on making a Craft Bomb beforehand, as discovered by the gizmo gadget in her room.
Combined, we can surmise that Euphie and Claude were both making different preparations to counter the King, with Euphie focusing on Craft both by studying Wish Craft and working on a Craft to nullify the King's Curse, whereas Claude just worked on a bomb to blow him the fuck up.
Euphrasie was, simply put, working to protect the people she cared for. It's her responsibility.
And she failed.
LET'S TALK ABOUT HER GUILT!!! WOOOO!!!!
When you talk to the people in Dormont during Loopquest, some of them mention the Head Housemaiden also asking them about their wishes, but none of them know why. This implies that Euphrasie was covert in her research, likely not sharing her information either because she was unsure of its verity, or to not cause undue panic. The only other person we see with less than impromptu countermeasures is, after all, literally just Euphrasie's girlfriend, who would be the number one person Euphie would confide in about this stuff.
Even then, though, there is no concrete evidence that she did confide in Claude, outside of Claude preparing the bomb, which is circumstantial at best. Really, did she not have any issues with Siffrin's treatment of her in ACT 5, or did she just swallow it down out of pragmatism?
Can we be sure that it's sincere, when she brushes off Siffrin's worry for her?
Siffrin (US_guilty2): "You said the things you always say when I come and talk to you." Siffrin (US_guilty2): "About how the world is rotting." Siffrin (US_sad1): "And you can't do anything to help." Euphrasie (sorry3): Hm... Euphrasie (smiling4): Interesting! I don't feel like saying it now, though! Euphrasie (smiling1): Or at all! The wind feels nice and fresh. Euphrasie (smiling4): It just feels like a beautiful day, doesn't it?
After all, in the loops themselves... She's the first to notice it, every time. She knows, deep within her bones, that something's wrong, and that it's her fault.
It's especially potent symbolically, that the phrase she never gets to finish is "I hope you can learn to forgive us."
Which is a phrase that received a slight change from its comic counterpart:
"I hope you can learn to forgive me."
Regardless of the me versus us, she, with the most intimate knowledge of Wish Craft right next to the King, directed the people of Vaugarde's wish, and knows that Siffrin ended up as the Wish's subject. She can't know that this is a side effect of Siffrin's wish being entangled with her own, but she does know her own wish is involved.
She starts crying. She's disraught. She breaks down.
Euphrasie (ending2): I can't fix it on my own, not before it all ends... If only I had noticed sooner!!! Euphrasie (ending1): I should've seen it, prevented it!!!
She says that she should have seen this and prevented it. It was her responsibility to do this, and she failed.
Euphrasie (ending2): It's my fault that you have to suffer like this.
Again, she was the only one who knew, the only one who could have ever possibly had any shot of defeating the King before things got too bad. But she fucked up, he stormed in before she could prepare properly, and she squarely lost whatever confrontation might've occured between her and the King.
Euphrasie: Something goes wrong, every time!!! Euphrasie: If you're here now, asking about Wish Craft, then something must be wrong, isn't it? This isn't the first time you've gotten this far, isn't it?!? Euphrasie: It shouldn't be like this... Why does time loop back, even though the King has been defeated?!? Euphrasie: The only answer I can find... Is it's because we did it wrong.
She's responsible, pragmatic to the point of paranoia, and it wasn't enough. Of course she feels guilt. A lot of it. After all, she believes that she personally has doomed someone to eternal stagnation. That she has caused all of Vaugarde to be trapped, and for one person to suffer for it. That she caused all of Siffrin's suffering.
It's so odd to me that she manages to immediately grasp that Siffrin is in a timeloop. It could be Siffrin's wish using her as a mouthpiece, it could be that weird innate connection to the Universe she seems to have, it could be her own immediate deduction on the logic of Wish Craft, or it could be a combination of all three.
But point is, she recognizes Siffrin's looping without having to ever be told about it. And I do not think that goes away, even in ACT 5 & 6. It's just not the time and place for her to speak on her own struggles right now, not when Siffrin is finally getting the help that she cannot provide. Not when she can recognize that she is the conductor of everything that just occured, which, again, nearly broke the entire work.
Euphrasie: If only... If only we had fought back against the King, instead! If only we didn't wish for such a thing! Euphrasie: If only I knew this would happen, if I had noticed it sooner, I would never have let people wish at all!!! Euphrasie: To know you'll be trapped for all eternity, Siffrin... I am so sorry!!! Euphrasie: It's our fault, all of Vaugarde, that you have to suffer like this!!!
She gathered her intel and made her bet. She just made the wrong one.
(Yet what she never seems to recognize is that this had to happen. That without the timeloops, yeah, the King wouldn't have been defeated! The country would have been frozen!)
(But that doesn't mean anything, does it. When she had to take away Change Itself from some innocent bystander.)
Relationships
Anyways in more cheerful news let's look at the two most important people to Euphrasie we know of.
Mirabelle
Mirabelle!! The Meeble!! Euphrasie is super important to Mirabelle, and Mirabelle, in turn, is super important to Euphrasie.
From the third snack break:
Mirabelle (sad2): The Head Housemaiden... She's such a wonderful person. Mirabelle (sad2): She helped me out so much! I couldn't do anything before I came to the House, I could barely sew my own clothes, and she helped me, she taught me... Mirabelle (sad2): I wouldn't be the person I am without her! Mirabelle (sad2): And when the King attacked... She protected me. Mirabelle (sad2): Everyone... Everyone was being frozen in time around me... Mirabelle (sad4): And the Head Housemaiden made sure I could escape! Made sure I lived!!! Mirabelle (sad4): She gave me her blessing...!!!
Similarly to some of the other older Housemaidens, Euphrasie had a big part in raising Mirabelle (which does imply some things about Mirabelle's past, but that's not the point right now). We don't know the exact sequence of events for Mirabelle escaping (outside of Mirabelle happening to be closest to the door), but Mirabelle adds some action to Euphrasie during whatever happened, saying Euphrasie "protected her".
From Euphie's office:
Mirabelle (sad2): But the King was too strong, and attacked out of nowhere, and now... I don't know what happened to her. Mirabelle (sad2): When I fled the House... The King might've already... ...
They weren't in the same room, Mirabelle doesn't even know what exactly happened to her, but still says Euphie protected her, and obviously shows great esteem for her all around.
Mirabelle just loves Euphie so much, man!
Euphrasie (sorry3): And, Housemaiden Mirabelle... Euphrasie (smiling1): You have always been the most hardworking Housemaiden in the House. Always striving to learn new things. To better yourself. Euphrasie (smiling2): Always meeting challenges head on, even if you didn't think you'd succeed. Euphrasie (smiling3): You were the only logical choice, yes, but you were also the only RIGHT choice! Mirabelle (sad2): Head Housemaiden... Mirabelle (gentle1): No, Euphrasie... Thank you!!!
Mirabelle credits Euphrasie for the person she is today, but Euphrasie turns that back and gives credit to Mirabelle's own strengths. It's just, very cute. She might have taught Mirabelle her literal skills, but the determination and bravery were all Mirabelle's own.
This scene also demonstrates that the bond goes both ways. Euphie loves Mira right on back, and considers Mira to be "stinking cute!" which even the Change God Themself agrees with. She's so proud of Mira!
I also wanna point to the switch from Mira using Euphie's title, to then using Euphie's name after Euphie reaffirms how proud she is of Mira. Throughout the entire adventure, Mirabelle's unwitting deception (that she had been blessed by the Change God instead of by Euphie) had weighed down on her, and Mirabelle kept questioning why she was the one who had to go on this journey, when Euphrasie would have been so much better at it. Like she stole Euphie's spot.
I think that bled into the relationship, here, that she kept imagining Euphrasie being disappointed in her, so she uses the title to make some distance to that mental image. It shows off how distant and unreachable Euphrasie is.
(It's also just a good show of politeness from Mirabelle. Like, if I'm talking to my mother, I'll call her Mama, but if I am talking about her to someone else, I'll say "my mother", as demonstrated by the first part of this sentence.)
Lastly, really minor thing: apparently, Euphrasie is looking into dual Craft types! That's one of the random papers on her desk.
(It's an essay about the 3.5% of people who are dual Craft types users, like Mirabelle.)
That makes me think she started reading on it because of Mirabelle, which is cute.
Generally, the basis of their relationship is very much mentor-student, yet it goes much deeper than that with Euphrasie's big role in raising Mirabelle. TLDR: they love each other, your honor. Fambly.
Claude
Second on the agenda, Mirabelle's roommate, Claude!
Lookin at Claude. It's obvious they're romantically involved. The first hint is the letter on Euphie's desk, of course, but that could imply this is a recent situation, too.
(It's a lovely, cheesy, mushy love letter from someone named Claude.)
Except, well, no. The letter isn't sealed, otherwise Siffrin wouldn't be able to pick it up and skim it if they had to open it first. It was already open, meaning Euphrasie already read it.
And, in Act 6:
Claude: Okay! We'll come and say hi later, then. I'll need to go and plant a big kiss on Euphie, anyway.
Claude mentions how she has to give Euphie a big kiss, which you wouldn't exactly do with someone you only just confessed to. Meaning the relationship has been ongoing for a while now, and also implying that Claude still writes love letters to Euphie, or that Euphie kept Claude's initial confession on her desk, both options make them big saps, which is really cute.
Also also, Claude's the only one to call Euphie Euphie, an endearing nickname.
I also touched on before how Claude was the only one to also prepare for the King's attack by making the bomb, and...
Mirabelle (sad1): I... used to think she should've become a Defender, because she was always helping people, and trying out weird experiments to solve their problems... Mirabelle (sad2): And she would always, ALWAYS help the Head Housemaiden with hers. Mirabelle (sad2): Always trying new ways to organize her desk... To help her finish tasks... To make sure she'd get some free time... Mirabelle (sad2): She'd do it with a smug smile, saying it wasn't that big of a deal, that she'd do it for anyone, but... Mirabelle (sad2): If she knew that the Head Housemaiden was in danger... She would've ran anywhere, everywhere, so she could help her. Mirabelle (sad2): Not only because the Head Housemaiden would've solved anything, would've beaten the King if she could, but because... Mirabelle (sad3): Because... Mirabelle (sad3): . . . Mirabelle (sad3): If Claude is this far into the House, she must've... tried to stop the King herself, so he wouldn't get to the Head Housemaiden.
Mirabelle trails off on that last "because" concerning Claude's motivation to go rushing to Euphrasie, and I think, considering the love letters, we can guess what that was. It's quite evident from Mirabelle's words that the two are super close. "[t]hat she'd do it for anyone, but... If she knew the Head Housemaiden was in danger... She would've ran anywhere, everywhere, so she could help her."
Mirabelle's framing of it reveals that Claude wouldn't do those things for just anyone. That Euphrasie is special to her.
In both ISAT and SASASAP, Claude is the last frozen NPC you find, the closest to the King. Her bomb wasn't finished, but it's telling that Claude carries the Secret Ingredient on her person. Whatever it is, she probably nabbed it from her room and set out to help Euphrasie in her fight against the King any way she could.
I guess the summary here is more simple, but the devotion on display is amazing. Like, again, the bomb wasn't done, Claude had NO weapons to speak of, but came rushing in anyway, because Euphrasie was in danger. She loves her girlfriend so much!! They're mushy and silly and affectionate, and, if Claude is the one organizing Euphie's desk, did Claude keep her love letter on display just to show off? Again, it's. It's cute! It's a lot of environmental storytelling for an NPC!!
Wah. Clauphie are so cute. We don't see Euphrasie talk about Claude at all (because Euphrasie does have more uhhh pressing things to worry about), but just, from the letter on the desk, it's gotta be reciprocated.
There's just so much to speculate about how things went down when the King "attacked out of nowhere", because Euphrasie is at the top of the House. Even when the King is defeated and the House returns to normal, it's still the roof. So, did she draw him up there on purpose to give everyone else time to escape?
I personally think Euphrasie was probably frozen first, with Claude rushing in second. So she did hold him off as long as she could, and that sacrifice allowed Mirabelle to escape in the first place. Nothing would've been possible without her. Euphie feels so much guilt for what she's done, but Mirabelle and Siffrin would not have suceeded without her, okay. She's instrumental.
Which is less about Claude and more about Euphrasie's importance, but hey, this is my essay, and I can be as uncoordinated as I want.
The Job
Last thing I wanna touch on!! Just a fun lil thing.
What the hell is a Head Housemaiden anyway?
Mirabelle and Isabeau react scandalized at the notion of people sharing shrines, so it seems unlikely that the House functions anything like a church at all. Every Housemaiden has a personalized figure of the Change God that they pray to in private, as we see from Mirabelle talking about them, in addition to basically every room in the House having one, down to people making more in pottery class. So, it's suuuper unlikely that the Head Housemaiden has much of a religious function. Spreading the good word, maybe, but actually leading prayer? No way.
Odile (wonder1): We make shrines for our gods, and everyone shares the shrines. Isabeau (huhwah1): SHARING GODS............
She seems to have a much more logistical function, being more like. The manager of the House. This is a files thing, but the map for her room is actually called "admin". She also has a lot of quote unquote boring administrative papers on her desk that Siffrin doesn't care about. Makes one wonder how the position is selected, whether one is elected into the office, or it's just whoever wants to do the paperwork to keep the House running.
(It looks like boring administrative papers.) (It's a petition to serve more bread at lunch.)
Mirabelle (happy1): She manages the House and makes sure everyone is happy and fulfilled! She organizes a lot of events too!
Among things such as "what to serve at lunch" and "organizing events", she's more like the headmaster of a community college, especially considering how heavy the House just resembles a community center. Less of a religious institution, more just a place to host fun classes and a living space for all who need it.
It's hard to tell whether Euphie demands a lot of respect due to her person and office, or it's just Mirabelle specifically that respects her most, since most of what we know of the House and its people is filtered through Mirabelle's perspective.
Speculation!
It's headcanon time, babey.
Yup, after straying close to actual facts for so long, I wanna get speculative. You're probably already gonna know islander theory. (And if you don't, go read that. This is like, the third time I linked it.)
But I wanna like, talk about how that influences how I read Euphrasie a lot!! I didn't go in-depth with that aspect in the og theory post but you can swear to any god you believe in that I've thought so so much how this enhances other aspects of who she is and stands for and also SHOUTOUT TO OCEAN!!! WHO ALSO THINKS ABOUT THIS SO MUCH!!! And again in fact thought about all of this before I did and is also someone who talk about excessively about this. AND ALSO GOT TO PREVIEW A GOOD CHUNK OF THIS ESSAY and motivated me to finish this eheh.
Anways! I wanna circle back to some points here first!
That whole past vs future thing
You might recall how I compared Euphie and the King a lot, esp between their respective roles in ISAT and SASASAP being pretty identical. And I said the King represents the past, as he is literally frozen in time, choosing to remember what he has lost instead of living in the present, and Euphrasie represents the future, which can only arrive when she is permitted to be her own person!
So yeah, uh, how's that feel when you suppose that they're from the same country, and thus, suffered the same loss.
Reading Euphrasie with this HC in mind opens up a very neat second parallel to Siffrin. King is someone who can't let go of the country, and Siffrin is torn between not wanting to let go and knowing they have to. So to put them up against someone who has let go is just pretty nifty.
Euphrasie is content with her life and the culture she lives in, even being a pillar of the community! Whereas King is a 'bad end' counterpart, Euphie, in her Showing The Future Function, is the 'good end' counterpart for that, showing that someone in Siffrin's situation can overcome their grief and find new fulfillment.
The End
So! That's everything I got on Euphrasie! She represents The End, but just as you gotta break an egg to make an omelette, she represents new beginnings, too. Her agency and freedom are change itself.
Mirabelle (hm3): It's to remind us that before changing, we must stop and think about what will be irreparably destroyed. Mirabelle (hm1): But destruction is just a part of change, and we must accept it... Isabeau (brag1): Yeah! It'd be awful to keep yourself from becoming a person you feel comfortable with just because it would upset someone else. Odile (huh1): Huh... That's a harsher belief than I thought.
In conclusion, I love her. This has been 7.4k words. Good night!
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Ranking Cosmere Families Based Whether I'd Want to Attend Their Thanksgiving Dinner
If they, you know, actually celebrated Thanksgiving or if I existed in their universe and could attend. But anyway.
[Last Thanksgiving special: How They'd Cook a Turkey]
1. Kholin Family Dinner: No Thank You
Let the various eras of the Kholin family spread out before you: is there ANY iteration of that family whose Thanksgiving Dinner you'd want to attend? We have the Blackthorn Era, where Dalinar is getting drunk and trying not to make eyes at his brother's wife and also Sadeas is probably there. We have Way of Kings era where Dalinar thinks he might be going crazy and is always in a lowkey fight with Adolin. We have post-Oathbringer where you sit at that table knowing that Dalinar killed his kids' mother. Is there any moment when a Kholin family dinner wouldn't be awkward for a guest? Even Shallan being there isn't enough to win me over. I'm staying home.
2. Kelsier's Crew: Sure!
I think a holiday dinner with Kelsier's crew would actually be delightful. I think that whatever else they had going on at the time, they'd make an effort to put that aside and have a good time.
3. Kiin's Family Dinner: Hell yeah
Kiin (Sarene's uncle in Elantris) is canonically an amazing cook. Like, I'd LOVE to be at their family dinner. Plus, Sarene seems to have a nice time hanging out with them. Sure their kids squabble a bit, but nothing major.
4. Stormblessed Family Dinner: M-Maybe?
I feel like this is strongly era-dependent. Join them when Kaladin and Tien are kids? Yeah, I think that would be all right. There might be tension between Lirin and Kaladin, but Hesina and Tien are there to defuse it. After the two kids are taken to war? I-I'm leaving that couple alone to grieve, I think. Post-Kaladin-Radiant time? That's REALLY book-dependent. Got weird between Kaladin & Lirin for a while there. I don't want to be there for their yearly argument about whether it's ever okay to kill someone. Maybe I'll just help Hesina in the kitchen.
5. Tress Family Dinner: Definitely!
Yeah! Tress is a great cook, her parents are AWESOME, and if Charlie is there too, all the better. Like, this one is a no-brainer yes please.
6. Bridge 4 Dinner: Yeah!
Especially if it's post-Radiants, so that (a) we're not all enslaved in Sadeas' war camp and (b) there are women too. I bet Rock's Thanksgiving stew would be delicious. Kaladin would be late, but you know what, it's okay. He's very busy.
7. Court of the Gods Thanksgiving Dinner: Maybe If I Were Younger...
Listen, I'm sure it's a raucous good time. There's lots of food, it's really good, everyone looks hot, and everyone is very drunk. Not REALLY my scene, though. I might go if I were invited, but if Tress's family had already offered, I mean...
8. Idrian Royal Family Dinner: I'll Pass
For one thing, I feel like the food would not be very good since my impression of Idris is that everything is...gray. But even beyond that, the family dynamics do not sound fun. I mean, their dad sold his least favorite daughter into what he thought was deadly sex slavery. Their mom doesn't even have a name. It just feels so awkward.
9. Noodle Shop Thanksgiving Dinner: Yeah!
Going out to eat is a great way to not have to cook for Thanksgiving dinner. And Design's Noodle shop--or even later under the new owners--feels like a great place to get some food. Depending on why I'm there, I might even get some free sympathy noodles if I have nowhere else to go! Y-Yay!
10. Lopen Family Dinner: Yes!
I definitely would say yes if invited to eat with Lopen and his many cousins. Remember when Elhokar was there for a minute, and Lopen's mother kept making him eat more? I am going to be SO STUFFED and it is going to be SO worth it.
11. Ladrian Family Dinner: Totally
I'd love to have dinner with Wax and Steris and presumably Wayne and Marasi and possibly MeLaan! I bet the place settings will be fancy and that I'll have to bone up on my etiquette rules--but then, Wayne will be there so surely my using the wrong fork will go largely unnoticed. Anyway, these people seem pretty fun to hang out with, and I bet the food and whiskey are both good.
12. Montane Family Dinner: S-Sorry, Can't Make It...
As much as I love Threnody as a concept, I don't want to hang out in a small circle of silver-ringed "safety" while knowing that murderous ghosts await any mistake outside. I just don't feel like it would be a relaxing time. Plus, you know, Silence's grandmother is literally a ghost in a locked room like right over there. That's a family dynamic I don't care to experience.
#cosmere#cosmerelists#Stormlight Archive#Mistborn#Shadows for Silence#Tress of the Emerald Sea#Yumi and the Nightmare Painter#Warbreaker
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Ok so some bad guy kidnaps the justice league, has them incapacitated and whatnot.
The rogue starts monologuing about how through magic they can face the people they wronged, how it’s the first torture he will put them al through.
He starts with Batman and says ‘This ritual brings back the first people you failed to save.’
(The ritual summons relms ghosts)
The bad guy was NOT PREPARED for Martha Wayne to come out of the summoning circle and do her best to beat him to death for hurting her baby. (Thomas Wayne is going around freeing the league and providing medical help. His wife has this handled)
I was not aware I had an ask! Sorry this took so long!
But yes! This just, you have so many brain filling cabinets I wanna riffle though, so many
-
Martha knew, she and Thomas felt the tug and, thanks to recent lessons put out by the yeti at the direction of their king-it took him years to get through the backlog of what was needed, so some things are still being rolled out but it's already so much better-they knew it was a summons and could tell, not clearly as a named summons but as a 'most tied ghost to the place/person' summons es being done.
Which means home, or Bruce, which honestly was the same thing. Bruce and Alfred were their home as much as Gotham was.
After the fog cleared, and she heard the sneering, grandstanding voice of someone clearly trying to harm people, she didn't even waste time.
"You've got this darlin', I've got our boy and his lil friends safe'n hand."
And that reassurance from her also-dead partner was all she needed to go after the summoner.
"So you folks are my lil bat's friends! We've heard lots about all y'all been up to since we died, we're right proud of all of it."
#dpxdc#villain summons the realms ghosts of Martha and Thomas Wayne au#i figure it's been a good few years past Danny phantom setting#so depending on when you'd want this time wise he's at least Dick's age if not Bruce's#Danny made lessons for everybody in the realms to better life and help obsessions being met safely
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✨Their feelings for you✨ (Pick a pile)
{How to pick a pile? First, take a deep breath with your eyes closed to clear your mind. When you open your eyes, don't hesitate – pick the image that immediately grabs your attention or stirs up a memory. If none of the images stand out for you, it means there's no message for you at this time. You can always come back to it later.}
。・::・゚★,。・::・゚☆ - ☆。・::・゚★,。・::・゚☆。・::・゚
Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3 (from left to right)
In this collective pick a pile reading, we're going to explore the feelings and emotions of your specific person in relation to you. Let's see where your energy takes us.
Disclaimer: This is a collective reading I picked up on multiple energies, so please only take what resonates and leave the rest. When something resonates you usually feel a light energy and in your heart you can feel it's your message, and the pic that attracts you is a clearly sign.
。・::・゚★,。・::・゚☆ - ☆。・::・゚★,。・::・゚☆。・::・゚
✨PILE 1✨
Hanged Man reversed, Page of Pentacles, King of Cups (top: The Sun)
Hi Pile 1, and welcome to your reading. Let's dive in!
I'm sensing that your person really likes you, pile 1, although they're currently experiencing a period of stagnation and fear of change. They want to confess their feelings for you, but they're not willing to get out of their comfort zone. They are reaching out their hand for something, but they feel the void, suggesting they're not grounded right now. However, they will eventually regain their grounded energy and balance matters of the mind with matters of the heart, their mind with their heart. Gaining back that lost confidence, this beautiful energy is confirmed by The Sun at the top of the deck. I'd like to add that the King of Cups in your reading further reinforce the positive energy indicated by the Sun on top and suggest that your person's feelings towards you involves a strong desire to care for and support you.
Their current period of stagnation serves as a lesson for them to reflect on what they truly want from life. I see you included in their future plans. Be patient, let them focus on themselves before coming to you, avoid forcing anything or obsessing over it. Instead, focus on yourself, continue loving and taking care of yourself in the meantime.
Thank you for allowing me to read your energy, Pile 1.
Note: -If you enjoyed this collective reading and would like to support me, you can do so on my ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/mysticalserenity every donation is much appreciated, but not mandatory. -For further guidance or a personalized reading, feel free to book a reading through my Tumblr DM or email [[email protected]]. I'm here to help you navigate life's challenges and find clarity. We can decide the price together.
✨PILE 2✨
Knight of Cups, 5 of Swords, 8 of Pentacles (top: Death-Rebirth)
Hi Pile 2, and welcome to your reading. Let's dive in! What I'm picking up are very confused and conflicted feelings from your person regarding their feelings towards you. The passion and love are there, as I have the Knight of Cups holding a bouquet of roses and looking directly at me. However, they seem to be in a state of indecision and internal struggle, as indicated by the cards. I sense a blockage in their throat chakra, which is making it difficult for them to effectively express their feelings. I initially wanted to conduct the reading yesterday but the cards kept falling and I felt something in my throat. I had to leave and come back today, but I still feel a conflicted energy. For some of you, their focus seems to be on their work right now, but their thoughts of you keep distracting them, making it hard for them to concentrate. However, I feel they will eventually prioritize their work and when they feel more stable, love. For others, your person is going through a transformation, specifically an 'ego death' I just heard and they are in a period of growth and self-discovery. This transformation will lead to them coming back as a completely different person, in a good way, as they will become more open to love and your love. This doesn't negate their feelings for you, my whole pile 2, but they have other stuff to prioritize. Be patient 🫂
Thank you for allowing me to read your energy, Pile 2.
Note: -If you enjoyed this collective reading and would like to support me, you can do so on my ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/mysticalserenity every donation is much appreciated, but not mandatory. -For further guidance or a personalized reading, feel free to book a reading through my Tumblr DM or email [[email protected]]. I'm here to help you navigate life's challenges and find clarity. We can decide the price together.
✨PILE 3✨
7 of Wands, Temperance, 2 of Cups
Hi Pile 3, and welcome to your reading. Let's dive in! Among all the piles, the energy here feels more peaceful and calm. I sensed this even before shuffling the cards, indicating that this person prioritizes their own happiness and inner peace, completely ignoring other people's opinions. This pile seems to have a strong spiritual connection. I feel that many of you involved are spiritual beings, whether you're spiritually awakened or just interested in spirituality. It could be you, your person, or both. I sense that many of you are tarot and birth chart readers. No wonder you're attracted to your spiritually similar person! For those who aren't spiritual, your person is very good at balancing their emotions and doesn't let negative opinions bother them. They know their worth. I'm feeling that many of you will come into union with your person soon. However, keep in mind that 'soon' can mean anything, and divine timing is at play, so be patient and prioritize your well-being in the meantime. Your relationship has the potential to flourish, with two beautiful souls merging into one. I love what I'm seeing for you, Pile 3!
Last but not least: it's lovely how colorful your cards are. I feel like many of you in this pile are part of the LGBTQ+ community. Happy belated Pride, my beautiful people! 🌈🌈
Thank you for allowing me to read your energy, Pile 3.
Note: -If you enjoyed this collective reading and would like to support me, you can do so on my ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/mysticalserenity every donation is much appreciated, but not mandatory. -For further guidance or a personalized reading, feel free to book a reading through my Tumblr DM or email [[email protected]]. I'm here to help you navigate life's challenges and find clarity. We can decide the price together.
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ANY LIKE/REBLOG/COMMENT IS APPRECIATED, ALSO IF YOU LET ME KNOW IF IT RESONATED.
PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY WORK.
ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EACH ONE OF YOU'S SUPPORT, I'M GRATEFUL 🤗🤍
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Please note that I used AI language bot to help improve grammar and spelling in my readings, as English is not my first language. However, the interpretations and insights provided in my readings are all my work, based on my intuition and the cards' symbolism.
Disclaimer: Tarot readings are for entertainment purposes only and are not meant to predict or dictate your future. The cards provide insights and guidance, but the ultimate power of choice lies with you.
#pick a card#pick a pile#tarot community#tarot blr#pick an image#tarot cards#collective reading#tarot readings#love reading#love tarot reading#spirituality#tarot deck#the light's seer tarot#tarotcommunity#mysticalserenity-tarot#love reader
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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales; Why It Shouldn’t Exist
Or how I invested time and energy into an analysis of a relatively dead franchise instead of doing it for my actual media analysis university course.
An essay by: a bitter and obsessed PotC fan since they were 7, with a lot of free time.
Lads, this is going to be long. You have been warned.
The Beginning
At the very beginning of the movie, we see a young Henry Turner looking for his dad.
Now, we're not talking about characterization problems or how likely it is that a ten-year-old child would risk his life to look for a man he technically only saw once; we're talking about plot problems, actual logical fallacies. My questions are:
How? The Flying Dutchman is a legendary ship, impossible to be found unless She wants to be found. The only reason we see Her in Dead Man's Chest is because Davy Jones himself is looking for Jack to collect his debt, and in that occasion the Dutchman's captain wasn't even doing what he was supposed to do, so he was most definitely in the living world. Will otherwise, he's doing the job Calypso gave him, so he's constantly in between. Is the movie trying to convince me that a kid was able to do something no one in the history of piracy was ever able to do? And even if he did, why hasn't anyone explained me how? He simply looks at a map and throws himself on the bottom of the ocean. How did he know The Dutchman was there? How did he know it would've come to surface?
Where is his mom? We got to know Elizabeth in the first three movies; we know she's a smart woman and we can assume she's an attentive mother. She didn't notice her son preparing himself for a trip in the middle of the ocean to go look for his dad? Was she distracted? Was she outsmarted by a 10ish-year-old? Or is she just not contemplated in this scenario?
Why does Will look like that? Will is doing his job, so... why does he look like he's slowly corrupting? That kind of corruption is the punishment Calypso reserves to The Dutchman's crew when the captain fails her, which isn't the case. Did they forget about it? Was the idea of putting algae on Orlando Bloom's face just impossible to resist to?
Alright, this isn't actually from this movie but it's bothering me, so I have to write it; also, it would make this whole movie unnecessary, so it's somehow related to it. Why (and I can't stress this enough) can't Elizabeth be on the Dutchman? Why can't they do the job together? Is it because she's not a pirate? I'm pretty sure se actually is. Is it because she's a woman? Last time I checked she was the KING. She wants to stay with Will forever, Will wants to stay with her forever, they can literally live forever on the same ship. Why aren't they?
Whatever the Hell Happened to Jack Sparrow
Imagine creating a character that is so iconic whenever you ask a person who was a kid in the early 2000 to imagine a pirate, they imagine said character.
Now imagine fourteen years pass and you decide to ruin that character by making him the most hideous, annoying, idiotic person in the whole saga, and we're talking about a saga that has Philip the Missionary in it. Why? Jack Sparrow is THE anti-hero. Never on the right side, but never on the wrong one. You can tell he's doing something morally questionable, but you still find yourself rooting for him. He's stupid enough to make you laugh, but he's secretly clever enough to always get away with it. Now he's just... drunk. And that's not even an excuse for this horrendous new characterization, because he was always drunk. The guy FORGOT HE WAS ROBBING A BANK, the same guy just one movie earlier was able to escape from the King of England's palace and steal a lady's earring (by pretending to be a literal slut) in the process. He just switched from the iconic drunk bi bestie everyone loves to my cringe uncle that drinks too much at Christmas parties and makes everyone uncomfortable. Please, if the risk is ruining an entire generation's beloved character, either don't make the movie or find a better explanation than "Bad luck dogs you day and night".
The Pearl in The Bottle
So... what you're telling me is that Jack Sparrow, the guy who was able to defeat Hector Barbossa, Davy Jones and Blackbeard thanks to his slyness, and who loves his Black Pearl more than anything else in the world, had said ship in a bottle in his pockets for FIVE YEARS... and he never thought about breaking the bottle to free Her. That's what you're telling me. This is the pivotal point upon which the entire Jack's plot hinges. I... I don't even know what to say. Was this supposed to be funny?
What an Incredibly Lucky Coincidence
A guy needs a treasure to save his father. To find it, he needs the help of a notorious and legendary pirate. He looks for him everywhere, sailing on dozens of ships just so he has the remote chance to stumble across the pirate. The last ship he's been on has sinked, he's the only survivor. He's been found in the middle of the ocean and someone brought him to the nearest city. Which city? I mean, the one that has both the pirate he was looking for and a lady who's the only person in the whole planet who's able to find the treasure he was looking for! And, oh my... he finds the both of them! In that same city! Without even LOOKING FOR THEM! A hell of a coincidence, if you ask me. Also known as lazy writing.
What's Wrong With the Guards?
Now, I know Pirates of the Caribbean isn't exactly known for its accurate historical reconstructions, but why are the guards in this movie acting like they're some sort of hellhounds ready to kill anyone in sight? Even pirates and traitors as Jack and Henry were supposed to stand trial before being sentenced to death. It would've probably been an unjust and barbaric trial, but there should've been one. We literally saw it, in the previous movie. Why's Jack been sentenced to death for simply existing here? He gave pirate vibes and they decided that was enough?
Paul McCartney
This is not an actual point of the analysis, I just wanted to remind people that Paul McCartney is in this movie and that's the only valid reason to watch it.
Salazar
I am confused. Once again, I have questions.
El Matador Del Mar was so good at his job he had almost defeated piracy. "The last ones joined together to try and defeat me". The last what? Pirates? There were no pirates left? This happened when Jack was young, so a lot of time before the first movie, right? Where were, I don't know... Blackbeard? Davy Jones? Barbossa? All the other Pirate Lords? I might be wrong, but I guess Salazar didn't kill them, did he? Why weren't they there during that "last battle" in which "the last ones joined together"?
The Devil's Triangle. I just don't understand what's the logic behind it. So, this is a cursed place. Whoever enters there, can't get out. One would think it means that if you get there, you die; and Salazar does die, but he somehow also becomes a ghost whose only purpose is to find Jack Sparrow and have his revenge. So, do people become ghosts when they get in The Devil's Triangle? We have to assume people have gotten stuck in there before; otherwise, there wouldn't be legends around the place. So why isn't it like full of spirits ready to haunt people? Why are Salazar and his crew the only ones?
Poseidon or Calypso?
What's the Trident of Poseidon? Does Poseidon exist? Isn't Calypso the Goddess of the sea? Breaking the Trident, you break all the curses of the sea, so the Trident must be more powerful than Calypso, which leads to a question. Where is she? She IS the sea, right? So she must have known someone was about to find the Trident and brake all curses, including her one. She just decided it was okay? It really feels like someone decided to suddenly change the world's mythology without giving explanations.
The Compass
This is possibly the most blatant plot hole in the whole saga. Probably the most blatant plot hole I've ever witnessed, and man, I watched all the Harry Potter movies. In Dead Man's Chest, Jack meets Tia Dalma in her "shop" and he tells her he's looking for the Davy Jones' key. She asks him "The compass you bartered from me, it cannot lead you to this?", making another pivotal point of Dead Men Tell No Tales factually senseless.
That man couldn't have given his compass to Jack, because that wasn't his compass.
So either Salazar is lying while telling his tale or they forgot about that line in the second movie. Anyway, let's pretend that line doesn't exist; even if that captain gave Jack his compass in that exact moment, why would it be the key to free Salazar, exactly? How is the compass in any way related to The Devil's Triangle or to Salazar? In the movie, they try to explain it with a sentence: “if you betray it, your greatest fear comes true”. So, is Salazar Jack's greatest fear? I really doesn't seem right, Jack almost didn't remember Salazar when Henry mentioned him. To Jack, he's only a guy he outsmarted decades earlier. Also, Jack technically already gave the compass away, twice: to Elizabeth in Dead Man's Chest, to make her find the chest, and to Beckett in At World's End, when they're negotiating.
That's... That's Just Body Shaming, Mate
Let's talk about her. So, the woman's ugly. It can happen that a woman is ugly. Was it necessary to build an entire scene around some blatant body shaming? This scene wants to mimic the similar scene in Dead Man's Chest: Jack's on an island, running from the main villain, and he's forced to do things he doesn't want to do until someone saves him, then it was Will, now it's Hector.
Except in Dead Man's Chest it was LITERAL CANNIBALISM he was facing, and yet he looked LESS TERRIFIED and DISGUSTED. What's exactly the message here? Lads, is marrying an ugly woman worse than cannibalism? I don't know... that was just bad.
Justice for Hector Barbossa
If you know me (you probably don't, but if you do) then you know about my obsession with Hector Barbossa. I truly believe he's the best written character in the saga, and he's in my top five of the characters I love the most in all media. I watched The Curse of the Black Pearl when I was seven and I am autistic, so I had all the time to develop a literal relationship with these characters in my head. As much as Geoffrey Rush's interpretation was impeccable, as always, it really hurt to watch Hector in this movie. He just doesn't sound like him. First of all, why isn't he on the Queen Anne's Revenge? Why's he letting someone else sail around on his ships? He would've never. Why's he just sitting on a throne and shooting musicians instead of, I don't know... being a pirate? Being a pirate is the only thing that matters to him. He says it at the end of On Stranger Tides, and he even says it in this movie, to the witch. "I'm a pirate. Always will be".
So, why isn't he pirating? What happened to him? And what about the pact with the witch? He made her curse all his enemies; that's honestly the most out-of-character thing he could've done.
Seriously, watch this movie, and then The Curse of the Black Pearl and tell me he sounds like he's the same character. Then there’s his death... was it necessary? And I don't mean if it was necessary to the plot (it wasn't), but the way he died, did it make sense? He takes the sword and sacrifices himself to kill Salazar, but WHY? Salazar was back a mortal. They could've brought him to surface and then shoot him. What was the point of his death, Disney? I will never forgive you.
I would've preferred if they never showed him again. He's alive and living his best life in Tortuga, if you ask me.
How does Carina Smyth exist?
Let's do the maths. Carina Smyth has approximately the same age as Henry Turner, who was born around nine moths after the end of At World's End. At the end of that movie, Barbossa once again stole the Black Pearl (he's iconic we stan a legend), so we have to assume it is during that time (between the At World's End and On Stranger Tides) that he conceives Carina. He stays with this woman during the whole pregnancy, bacause he says he was there when she died. So nine months, at least, right? Except; Jack makes it clear that he and Barbossa met Carina's mom, Margaret, together.
When, exactly, did this happen? It can't be between On Stranger Tides and Dead Men Tell No Tales, because Hector himself says only five years passed between the two, and Carina doesn't look like a five-year-old;
it can't be between At World's End and On Stranger Tides, because we know Jack and Barbossa weren't together, and Hector was too busy losing a leg and planning his revenge by working for the King of England; it can't be during At World's End, because Barbossa was too busy rescuing Jack and then slaying (literally and metaphorically) Beckett's men to save piracy; it can't be during Dead Man's Chest, because he was dead; it can't be during The Curse of the Black Pearl, nor during the ten years before it, because he was... he was a skeleton, I hardly believe he could reproduce, despite what’s written in some fanficions; it can't be before, of course, because Carina would be too old. The only chance, but it's a stretch, is that Hector and Jack met this Margaret Smyth years and years before, and that at a certain point (while he was still busy slaying, losing a leg or planning his revenge), for some reason he decided to come back to her and accidentally had a daughter. That would mean that Jack remembered Margaret Smyth's name DECADES after he met her.
The Post-Credit Scene: What?
WHY'S DAVY JONES BACK? The Trident technically broke all the curses of the sea. He is THE cursed man of the sea. AND HE'S DEAD. The only answer I was able to give me, is that the moment the Trident broke the curses, the curse that said if you stab his heart he dies was also broken, so he technically didn't die, but it makes even less sense, because if the curses just aren't real anymore, then a man shouldn't be able to... carve out his heart and put it in a chest, right? (Which by the way, makes Will Turner being alive senseless as well). Even if so, Davy should've come back as a human.
My conclusion is that this movie should not exist, and we, as a community, should pretend it was never made. Hector is alive. Bye.
Imago
#potc#pirates of the caribbean#potc analysis#dead men tell no tales#analysis#media analysis#pirates#jack sparrow#hector barbossa#carina smyth#henry turner#elizabeth swann#will turner#calypso#davy jones#salazar
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