#we like learning new things. we like complex systems and knowing how and why things work. stagnancy makes us want to gnaw our legs off

[mantisgodsdomain]

The part that you haven't heard about in more detail here, for reference, is our miscellaneous research on typography, calliography, and type design, because we haven't done it in anywhere near as much detail and still arguably know nothing. In this case, you get to hear "oh yeah we're relearning cursive" as part of an unrelated ramble. This is because if we don't have at least one thing to chew on throughout the day, we wind up in a dull, grinding state of mind where we start losing chunks of important things, such as our ability to not be a huge asshole and/or hit people with sticks.

Sometimes, this means gnawing on plots, either ours or others'. Sometimes, this means learning new things. If we're operating on any subject in particular, we prefer to keep a level of basic competence high enough to let us feel like we have reasonable authority in saying something. If we are expressing an opinion, we want it to be one that is informed, because seeing people say things where they obviously don't know what a single word in that sentence actually means makes us want to chew through glass and people spreading blatant misinformation and unexamined, unbelievably blatant bias makes for our absolute least favorite dish. If we don't know something, and it's worth knowing, then we should bother to learn, because it is worth it to know at least enough to know when someone's bullshitting you, and be able to apply the knowledge you have acquired in one field to other ones over time. Many things work along the same basic lines - if you look at enough of them, then eventually, you'll learn the intersections, and the way one thing interacts with another.

In unrelated news, now that we are officially in formal education again and thus interacting with people who feel very confident in the idea that they are bringing an objectively correct perspective to the room, we are learning that apparently our "basic level of knowledge that we feel like we need to possess to feel even vaguely confident talking about the subject in any context" is most other people's "at least bachelor degree level knowledge". We are unclear on if this is a new discovery or not, as last time we were in an actual physical school it went badly enough that our memory of the year it occurred in is functionally irretrievable. This is not good for the superiority complex, probably.

is the fountain pen thing why your broskis been rbing the occasional fountain pen post or was that shared brainrot

It depends which broski you're talking about but probably. We have been exploring the ins and outs of the fountain pen since, like, the start of this month and we have already regaled our MOTW group with "hey did you know that you can buy a fountain pen that looks like a shark for three dollars" and similar such thoughts.

Though not all of our miscellaneous interests make it onto this blog, as we try not to post on things until we are reasonably informed on them, our close friends get to be regaled with the lovely story of whatever niche subject that we have dedicated our time and energy to learning things about every week or so, and we've been talking about pens for slightly longer as we learn more thoroughly how to work with them, and being told about things by an enthusiastic insect tends to get you looking at things (whether you like it or not)

[cheschesterpossum]

Imagine if one day humanity left the planet/system en masse for some reason, leaving their old creations behind without a second thought. Cybertron falls into civil wars and chaos for millenias until an (un?)intentional reunion with their creators.

Get it? Time work differently in the pocket universe? Ok, sorry that was cringe😔. But anyway-

Ohhhhh, i like that! Imagine going back to check on your creations just to see their planet is currently an absolute scraphole right now.

Humans and cybertronians can be very similar. In this AU, it would actually kinda make sense in a way. Like father like son/j humanity would probably see themself in their creations. Earth have a long list of war and conflict with eachother. Seeing history repeating itself on Cybertron, i like to think we would help or guide them (or at least try).

Now, i have some ideas for how the bots would react: under cut↓

One - humans are seen as myth on Cybertron (for example: the concept of some higher being created us- or aliens). Some would probably think we're not...real? they're baffled to meet their og creators (or Primus's creators) that they once thought were just myth. Oh, and SOME bots would fall into existential crisis (like Tyrest hehehehehe) since I remember there's the whole xenophoic or organic-phobic thing too.

Two - they have zero idea who we are, we're a complete new species to them. Didn't know they were created by us in the first place and would have a hard time believing so. Again with some of the xenophoics, this time in denial until we proved it and then they went into existential crisis again.

Three - this is mostly just to stroke my slight god complex, but heyyyyyy what if they looked up to us. Having created the cybertronians, i imagine it's possible they would recognize n heck even have relics or records. I think this would make a bit more sense if placed in TFA, maybe then it'd explain why there's ninjas robots. Possibly learn and took some inspirations from it. Also it would be kinda funny to see human slangs written in history datapads, 'ligma' and 'updog' being the cause of multiple arguments among the scientists- ok ok I'll stop now.

Sorry for ranting so much!

[sysmedsaresexist]

To the anon asking about my username...

There's a bit of confusion here, I'm going to answer many of your questions but I may not post the ask itself, hopefully it'll make sense :)

When I started my blog I was heavily anti endo and I specifically posted bad pro/endo takes, debunking or just laughing. To this day, most of it is still pretty hilarious. I wasn't focused on cringe, but totally crazy, out there claims that made zero sense and were flat out wrong. Check out my tags #shit endos say, #shit singlets say, and my newest tag, #shit anti endos say, I hope you have a laugh at a couple of them.

In my pinned post, you'll see the thing that started it all. A pro endo saying that sysmeds are sexist.

I would also like to know how they came to that conclusion. I'm right there with you. Also like you, I still have many issues with the pro/endo community. I believe CDDs are trauma based disorders. I post research pretty much weekly about it (check out #debunk and #research). I think endogenic plurality and CDDs are completely different things.

And you know what, my pro endo friends support me. We're all learning. I'm kind with my opinion, I'm open to talking about it, we debate, we share resources, we change our views and adjust based on new info.

This blog corrects misinformation from both sides, now. Some of it is worse than others. Antis can and do spread just as much misinformation as pro/endos.

What I would encourage you to do is start with the multiple selves theory. It actually developed right alongside Freud's theories on hysteria (which included early versions of CDDs at the time), and if Freud hadn't been such a perv, it might actually be much more well-known. It's a nonpathological theory on consciousness and philosophy. People have been describing this phenomenon for a very long time, "endogenic" is just the newest term for it. Here's a couple examples.

2015 - at any given moment in time, one or another of our subselves is in control and determines how we think and act.

1987

2012 - this one has so many links to other people talking about this theory

2023 - These results suggest that the normative principles by which agents have adapted to complex changing environments may also explain why humans have long been described as consisting of “multiple selves.”

2020

2010

Like I said, though, you can find this stuff as far back as the 50s with ease, anything older might take a bit more digging, but it's not a small or new theory.

I think an overlap in language has created a lot of confusion, but it's really not out of the realm of possibility for people to be more in tune with these parts of themselves. It's been documented for over a century outside of psychology, in other areas of research-- anthropology, philosophy.

I'm going to be honest, I don't think a single one of the headmate sale blogs are real. I think they're antis trying to start shit. Like maybe one out of every ten is actually someone misguided behind the screen.

Even CDD systems still incorrectly believe in core theory, endogenics picked it up from us and don't know any better. System resets aren't real, but there are real experiences that can FEEL like a reset-- try being patient and educating people. Ignore the others, because some people just can't be helped, and you're better off spending your time spreading good, accurate posts than arguing with people who don't want to learn anything.

I forget what I was saying.

Anyways, I'm a pro endo sysmed.

I hope you'll stick around and see what's going on.

[impybutt]

Sezak had never seen a leather jacket before. What cause would someone ever have to wear another's skin? It struck him as alarming, to say the least.

Exposure risk wasn't something he or many others ever considered: His people were designed for efficiency, just like the rest of the spacefaring races. Or, that's what he assumed. It's common knowledge, isn't it?

Genome mapping is just the norm, and entire civilisations have been curated from raw materials, Sezak's included. It's far more energy and resource efficient than terraforming, in any case. That's what it takes to reach the stars: curated efficiency.

No one ever did it just by trial-and-error, did they?

But here was Suri, a Human, wearing the skin of... what did she call it? Some other kind of mammal, he forgot the name. Something absurdly simple. Anyway, apparently this is just normal for Humans!

"But why?" Sezak asked, incredulous. "What's the point?"

"Well, these days thanks to climate control and artificial atmosphere, it's mostly a style thing. But you know, early humans back on earth, why would you just leave a perfectly good skin to rot when you could wear it for protection?"

"Protection from what!? Under what circumstance are you finding an unused skin?? Wait-- is this another religious thing? I've heard that Humans have a lot of those, and they don't always make sense from the outside."

Suri looked confused (or constipated? Human faces are deceptively complex, it takes a long time to learn how to read them), and seemed to be studying Sezak for a moment. Her eyes darted over his synthetic clothing briefly, with its cultural flairs and decorative adornments, all carrying the signature texture of replicated matter.

Then, with sudden clarity, "Oh! Humans weren't curated, mostly we're organic."

Well, that's just absurd.

Sezak muffled his involuntary 'kek-kek' with a quick apology, covering his mandibles.

"Pardon me, that means your entire lineage came from raw evolution. That takes billions of years, I find it very unlikely."

"Yeah," Suri was nonplussed. "The leather is a throwback to when our ancestors had to survive in the wild. We hunted our meat, then used what was left for tools and clothing. It's actually a pretty proud part of our history; Earth was habitable, but definitely not easy."

Now it was Sezak's turn to look constipated, which never happened because his people weren't curated with such a terrible design flaw.

"So humans just bumbled their way into space on their own, like a larva figuring out how to fly? All... clumsy and inelegant, and... Messy? Without any outside help? Without any climate-matching!? Is that why you have those absurd suits!?"

"Yeah, it's also why our bodies just malfunction in weird ways for no obvious reason," Suri looked a little too amused at Sezak's undisguised horror - not that Humans are essentially raw nebula mobilised by a star's age of convenient mutations, but that they exist in such a state of volatility with no apparent qualms about it.

"Oh great wells," Sezak breathed, reeling from his new perspective. "So many of you wear leather. Hold on, is that why Vikram is always visiting the health centre?"

Suri's eyes crinkled, and she bared her teeth -- in a laugh, okay. Sezak recognised the 'kek-kek' noise humans make in thrill, though theirs is a more glottal 'hach-hach'.

"Yes, Vikram has auto-immune issues. Which means that sometimes, his immune system will attack his own body depending on the irritant. Or weather. Or his cortisol levels."

Sezak stared at Suri for a long time, trying to figure out if she was pranking him.

"I think I have a lot of reading to do," he muttered, incredulous.

"Start with the human eye, it's an absolute mess. Do you know how little it takes to detach a human retina?"

"WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS"

[chronicallycouchbound]

A Guide for Coming into Disability

Note: While this is meant to serve as a guide for people who are becoming physically disabled and people newly recognizing their existing experiences of disability (including chronic illness), I feel that this guide is helpful for anyone, disabled or abled. No guide is one size fits all, but I hope this can help supplement other resources that exist.

Recognizing Disability

The first aspect of coming into disability is conceptualizing what disability means for you. Some initial questions to consider are:

What is disability?

What does it mean to be disabled?

How do you identify disability in yourself or others?

Only you can define what these mean for yourself, but many definitions and models of disability exist.

Loss & Grief

As you begin to transition into a disabled body, the first sign of that change is often the experience of loss. Loss of ability, access to the world, hobbies, community, loved ones, and your sense of self are just some of the types of loss you might be experiencing. Additionally, when being a part of any marginalized community, you are now not only beginning to experience the trauma of discrimination that you’re personally facing but you are also exposed to a communal trauma of systemic marginalization.

Due to the ableist society we live in, every single person is internalizing ableism. Everything we see on the news, in movies, in classrooms, etc. is absorbed subconsciously to create a personalized narrative of the disabled experience. Weather or not that ableism is externalized doesn’t matter, because if you’re not actively dismantling internalized ableism and practing anti-ableism, then that ableism will hit you much harder when you transition into disability. The work to navigate this is constant, evolving and will change with time.

All of this is very heavy. Always unpacking, always processing, always grieving. But it does get easier to navigate, especially with the proper supports. To cope with this, I highly recommend seeking out appropriate support groups (many are online, Facebook, Discord, The Mighty are some great places to look) and considering grief counseling. Through this, remember to be gentle with yourself, cut off people if you need to, set boundaries, and do what you need to to support yourself and keep yourself safe.

Spoon Theory in Practice

A large portion of my disabled experience is simply just learning. Learning about my body, treatments, my limitations, and what I can still do. This dynamic learning often requires more language to explain complex concepts. This brings us to the spoon theory. If you don’t yet know about spoon theory, here’s the original essay by Christine Miserandino.

Spoon theory works to help explain the energy limitations of chronic illness and has been widely adopted by the greater disabled community. Essentially, it is a metaphor that uses spoons as a metric to showcase energy levels in a tangible form. Over time your spoons will change, different activities might require more or less spoons, and recharging your spoons may also evolve. This is why it’s important to use the concept of spoon theory to help you set boundaries with yourself and others.

For yourself, being able to identify your spoon levels and use them appropriately to ration energy can help you avoid falling into pitfalls like the “Boom-Bust Cycle” and better pace yourself. I put this into practice by creating lists rating activities by spoon levels. I have a master list of meals I can eat, categorized by how many spoons it usually takes to make the meal. This way, I can plan out in advance on low spoon days, like when I have PT, and know I won’t have the energy to cook a meal that takes three spoons to make, I can meal plan for the week and buy what I need for a one spoon meal that day. This can also be applied to things like chores and hobbies. I sort my to-do list by priority, and then by how many spoons it will take to do the activity. Knowing your spoon levels can assist in setting boundaries with others as well. I always have a standing appointment on Tuesdays, so I never make plans that day. I always ask for help with certain chores because even if I physically can get them done, I won’t have spoons for the rest of the day or even the week.

Accepting Disability

In order to cope with the loss of certain activities, finding accessible alternatives can go a long way. You might be able to find an adaptive way to still participate in a hobby, like adaptive basketball. There are also so many options for hobbies in the world, and you might be surprised by what works for you now! This is a good time to start to focus on what you can do, with adaptations, vs what you used to be able to/now can’t do.

Mobility aids are a beautiful tool. My advice is if you think that an aid might help you, you should at least try it! If it ends up not helping, or you don’t need it, you can always donate it. I also like to say (and my physical therapist likes to remind me) Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

And, of course, ask for help before your body demands it.

Disabled Liberation & Disabled Joy

If you have the spoons and time, you should prioritize learning about our history as a community (Crip Camp on Netflix is a great place to start) Additionally, you can learn about disability theory, models of disability, ugly laws, cripple punk movement, and our rights.

Disabled Joy is a concept that considers our joy to be a revolutionary act in and of itself. I use ‘joy’ here, rather than happiness, because while similar, happiness is based in the root word ‘hap’ meaning chance (as in mishap and happenstance), meaning that the experience itself is based in luck and external factors, and focus instead on the sensation associated with it– regardless of your situation, which is joy. Disabled joy looks like my partner sprinting while pushing me down the sidewalk with the wind in my face. It looks like a perfect day in Sims 4. It comes with safe foods and the healing power of accessible plauygrounds. You find it where it comes, and I hope you can find it in yourself.

Finding Community

The best part of the disabled experience, for me, is our thriving community. When it comes to community building, I always suggest online options first because they’re available 24/7 for most people, and you can reach community from your home. I’ve already mentioned online support groups, but also, online content creators are a great way to find community. If your social media following list is primarily able-bodied creators, especially ones who focus on activities that aren’t accessible to you, it can be really damaging to your mental health. This can help you to find friends who get what you're going through.

Self-advocacy and systemic advocacy resources from our peers and organizations can give you the tools and feel empowered to create change. Seeking resources by and for our community can be lifesaving. You’re reading one right now.

Welcome to the community.

♿️❤️ (wheelchair emoji, heart emoji)

[ell-vellan]

A random collection of Veilguard Thoughts after completing the game, because I need to vent some feelings. spoilers below!

Firstly: I was going to love this game regardless. I came into it with the fewest amount of spoilers possible. I do love this game. I won't argue with anyone - if we have different opinions, that's fine! I won't tolerate hate, though.

This is my messy stream of consciousness, but let's start with the good stuff!

The Good:

-Gameplay was fun! Combat was fun and inventive, for someone who plays on Storyteller mode and tries to get through combat as fast as possible so I can get back to the story, it rarely aggravated me.

-The maps/puzzles are fun. They were usually easy enough to figure out on my own without looking it up, but just complex enough I felt smart when I got it. I like that the game almost always rewards you for looking around and exploring off the beaten path a bit.

-It felt like a spiritual successor to Mass Effect 2 in the way that you have to build your team up in order to save the world. I loved that.

-The griffons coming back is one of the best things in the Dragon Age universe ever, and I love that we could decide what to do with them. (But I'm kind of concerned that there's only 12, and they're...related? I feel like that's not enough individuals to grow the species back...)

-Letting us pet and hug Assan (with different animations!) over and over was one of the best things they ever did. Also, photo mode was a great idea.

-The little hints about Those Beyond The Sea we keep getting?! Dear God, I hope we get another game and get more lore. I'm dying to know. They've teased this for so long, I really, really wanna know what's up with this part of the world.

-i loved being able to choose our body proportions.

-I'm so thankful we got to make our Inquisitor and keep the same vallaslin and voice actor. I hate the outfit they gave them and how we had no choice in it, and I would have also preferred to have a choice in their prosthetic, but I'm grateful for what we did get. The missives from them were also a nice touch, and seeing the letter from the Inquisitor's love interest was SO HEALING. Tbh, in reality, I think the Inquisitor would have been involved WAY more, especially since the crossroads would have made travel basically instant across Thedas. But I get why Rook needed to stand on their own two feet.

-Morrigan/Mythal was a great touch. It made sense logically, there was character growth, and I'm glad Mythal wasn't gone entirely, but I wish we could know what's become of Kieran.

-All the VAs are so good. the world felt lush, magical, twisted, and fun, with just the right amount of tragedy and horror balanced with hope and love. Arlathan was gorgeous and tragic and horrific and I took SO MANY photos.

-we got more Dalish and more Qunlat words!!

-THE LORE. So many questions finally answered. I kind of thought we would learn that the Black City was actually the prison Solas made for the gods, but hey, maybe next time? I also still want to know if Andraste was real and more about the origins of elves as spirits, but alas...

-i loved the inventory system. I wish we could have sold equipment we didn't need instead of just the valuables, but it's a minor quibble. It was so much easier to manage, I didn't have to waste a bunch of time going through everything to find the best items for everyone

-ARCHON DORIAN PAVUS !! He was barely in the game which made me sad, but the fact that he was there at all and so glorious was wonderful. I wonder if people new to the game know or care about the significance of him being in charge of Tevinter, though, since we didn't even really get to have a conversation with him

About Solas:

I played thru DAI on release day. My first Inquisitor romanced him. When Everything Happened(tm) I was PISSED. I wanted revenge on Solas, I wanted to hunt him down. I've thought about him for 10 years, and now I am so wistful for more of him. I want to give him a hug. Moreover I want Lavellan to hug him.

Solas was INCREDIBLE in this. I loved, loved getting to see his memories firsthand - this was more than I'd hoped for - and the banter with Rook was one of the best parts of the game. Seeing him with hair - seeing him change into Fen'harel and fight a DRAGON? him helping us in the fade by baiting Elgar'nan and getting all bloody and beat up trying to help us, thinking he was going to trick us one final time? My wildest dreams came true. He was layered, he was complex, he was incredibly heroic and sympathetic and tortured and clever and absolutely ruthless. He was at turns heartbreakingly sincere and infuriatingly traitorous.

He showed a wide range of emotion; we got to see the real Solas, not the polite pretender of Inquisition. He was the shining star of the game for me. And he was sorely lacking.

We hardly got to speak to him!! It drove me nuts that we couldn't talk to him as much as our other companions. He literally knows the most about our enemies and how to defeat them. And we know he's probably planning some trickery in his lil mind prison. Why are we not checking on Solas at every chance we get?

Learning more about and speaking with Mythal? Chef's kiss. But I so, so wish that a romanced Inquisitor, along with Mythal's release of Solas, was what prompted Solas to realize there could be more to his life than rebellion and penance. He's betrayed everyone he's ever loved, and killed his closest friends, but he didn't kill her. Mythal represents his past, she's the origin of where it all went wrong - I wanted Solas to see a Lavellan that understands and forgives, even after everything, and that universal acceptance is the thing he needs to finally let go of trying to make up for what he's done. (It's fine, I'll just write a fanfic about it, whatever)

My Complaints:

-That we only can choose 3 possible variables for worldbuilding to keep from Inquisition. I think this the biggest, most egregious and disrespectful thing they did in the game, and I'm sure it's been talked about to death, but I'll just add that I hate it. I'll live with it - I'd rather they be vague than ret-con or kill off beloved characters off-screen - but still, what's the point of all of our previous choices if we don't get to see how they shape this world?

-The relationships felt SHALLOW. For a game that revolves around your companions, everything felt surface level. While I loved that almost every time you went to the Lighthouse, people were somewhere different and talking to each other, I HATED that Rook couldn't participate in their conversations. We only listened. I hate that we couldn't really ever initiate any long, deep conversations where we got to ask our companions strings of questions about themselves and their histories. I feel like I barely know Neve or Lucanis. I did like getting a bit more in depth with characters during their missions, but still...I feel like I barely know them, not the deep closeness I've felt with Dragon Age companions in the past. Nobody ever argues or disagrees with you, not really, just a couple times and it doesn't truly matter. I loved the companions. Their designs are so cool. I wanted to know everything about them and talk to them more. Why can't we ask Davrin about his vallaslin (it's obviously Ghilan'nain) and how he feels about it now that we are fighting her, especially if we're also an elf? And Bellara, why can't we ask about her tattoo and where her clan is and how she joined the Veil Jumpers? Why can't we ask Neve about her prosthetic? I loved the references to Inquisition in Harding's design, but since we couldn't import more than 3 things, she couldn't even talk about the Inquisition beyond the most vague things. Taash barely speaks at all. Emmrich has no life beyond the dead.

-The companions are so...one-note. Taash brings up being non-binary at every. single. quest, even though their adaari-ness and crossroads between being Qun and being Rivani was super interesting to me. (more on Taash in a minute.) Lucanis likes coffee. Davrin's personal quests mention "torlum" ad nauseum and the fact that Assan eats a lot. Bellara at least talks about other interests, but everyone else is so predictable. Even their banter doesn't seem to give them a lot of individual personality.

-the body models for female elves felt..a bit odd? My Rook always looked bow-legged. And do bras not exist in Thedas anymore? Lol

-The choice of who dies? HEART-WRENCHING. why was it between those two?! Why isn't the romance scene until AFTER this choice? Why doesn't the thing that happens with Harding and The Stone protect her (I thought it would!) and why don't we get any resolution to that if we lose her? I understand that Davrin was prepared to sacrifice himself as a Grey Warden, but making us lose Assan too...? Cruelty. That's what it is.

-I don't like that there are permanent deaths that happen regardless of our choices. That sucks. I know it's realistic, but this is a game, and I want my happily ever after for everyone, DAMN IT! The twist truly shook me, and I didn't see it coming. I didn't think I'd be caught by surprise and I was.

-The characterization of Rook is all over the place. I played an elven Rook with non-traditional vallaslin (figuring that the newer generation of Dalish Veil Jumpers might blend tradition with their new focus of exploring the Veil.) At various times, my Rook has said these things: "I didn't grow up with the Dalish." "I'm Dalish where it counts. "As a fellow Dalish--" WHICH IS IT? I'm in the most elfy faction, it's not even that I picked something unlikely for an elf with a face tattoo. I don't know what you have to do, what flags you have to trigger in the code, but the game still seems so confused about who our characters are. Pick a lane, Rook!

-While I'm on this subject: it would have been so nice to be able to know from the character creator what every kind of tattoo, body paint, and scar pattern went with what faction. And for the Dalish, which god matched to which vallaslin. It would have blown my mind in a good way if our choice of vallaslin came up in any way shape or form

-I would have loved if our race and faction actually like..mattered more. Walking around the Veil Jumper camp at the beginning and nobody talking to me except Strife and Irelin, that was so boring! Nobody recognizes you or asks how you've been. Just silence. Like everyone around you is a cardboard cutout. I expected more from Bioware.

-We got so much amazing lore in this game, and I'm really happy about it! But why did Bioware have to take the most marginalized group of people in Thedas, who were barely clinging to their own language and culture and freedom to begin with, and make everything bad that ever happened THEIR FAULT? What was the thought process there? That they used to have power but their leaders were in fact so terrible that they tore themselves apart and now live on the fringes of society? It makes it feel like the elves deserved their present fate, which is...pretty sucky. I'm glad they did not massacre the elves in this game as they have in the past, and that the elves didn't become even MORE the enemy by joining with the gods, but it really feels like the humans are only going to kill more elves in retribution for their gods almost ending the whole world. Also, related: nobody ever gives us sass about being an elf, not even in Minrathous, where elves are almost entirely slaves?!

-i know everything's changing with the lore stuff we typically know, but why did it seem that existing physically in the Fade is just no big deal anymore?

-at no point does Harding mention Varric dying? They don't have a funeral, a memorial? The Inquisitor says nothing, Morrigan says nothing? I know Solas messed with rook's mind, but even after...?

-the fact that the romance scenes don't happen until after the deaths. So it's possible for your love interest to die before that? Cruelty. Also, weird places to hook up, right after I just found out someone I thought has been alive this whole time DIED AT THE BEGINNING, and another dear friend sacrificed themselves, and we aren't sad at all during this? I understand sex after loss is perfectly normal and I understand that. But at least for the scene I saw, there was no "celebration of being alive" feel, it felt...more lustful than loving? Just an abrupt tonal shift.

-it just...ends. there's the typical little wrap up slides, but they're, again, shallow. A few lines here and there. Apparently the whole of Thedas was nearly destroyed, and not a single country went unscathed, but it's all gonna be ok! The bit of hope was nice, but...I don't feel settled at all. And it seems like we won't get DLC? which...ugh. and they fired the writers, which, again, cruel. If they make another Dragon Age, I can't see it being truly Dragon Age without them.

-i decided to make Taash's whole deal and the Qun a separate post lol

All in all - so thankful we got this game, so thankful we got what we did, I'm still processing a lot of it, and the past 3 weeks of my life I have done little else but live inside this story, but I just really need to scream into the void now!!

[solarpunkani]

okay so pardon me as I wax poetic late at night about solarpunk again but like

and once again, I'm biased because I'm co-hosting the aesthetic week event, you know the drill, but

I feel like sharing our projects--big and small--are so important because they can inspire other people to do their own. And obviously this can be about sharing news about climate action, and scientific projects and progress and discoveries, but tonight I'm thinking about crocheting.

As we think about the future we want to create as solarpunks, we trade ideas. And oftentimes a lot of the ideas we trade are about futures with barter systems, where many many people do crafts like sewing and mending and knitting and the like. But--and I could easily be the only one but I feel like I'm not--I personally was too nervous to start many crafts myself. Because I didn't know what I'd do with the craft, if I was even capable of it, or if it was too big and complex for me. I'd been tossing around the idea of learning how to crochet for years, and my mom's been tossing the idea around just as long if not even longer for herself, but y'know what brought me over? You know what finally got me to give it a shot?

An online Solarpunk friend sharing pictures of a bag.

I saw that bag and I went 'huh maybe I could do something like that,' and within a few days I'd bought a bunch of yarns and hooks and was on a call (with a different online friend) learning how to do some basic stitches and knots to get started. By the end of the night, I was teaching myself how to make granny squares, with the help of a (different) online friend writing instructions to help me out as I got stuck.

And maybe I finish my bag, or my scarf, and I post a picture online--not even a professional, pinterest-ready photo, just a quick pic of it laid across my bed or something--and I inspire someone else to start crocheting. Hell, I've already inspired my mom to take a crack at it once the Christmas season is over.

But it doesn't even have to be me. It doesn't even have to be crocheting. Maybe someone posts a picture of a hat they just finished knitting, and someone else decides to pick up a loom or some knitting needles. Maybe someone crafts a birdhouse or a desk or a bench out of wood, and someone picks up a hammer for the first time. Maybe someone crafts something awesome out of clay and wire, and someone gets inspired for a new project. It can even be across artforms! Maybe someone sews an awesome dress, and someone else is inspired to write a short story by it. Maybe someone writes a short story, and someone else goes to paint a mural somewhere inspired by a scene in that story.

And in a sense I find it incredibly solarpunk. To inspire one another to learn and grow, develop new skills, to always find inspiration and hope to keep trying new stuff.

Some people laugh and scoff at the idea of posting ~aesthetique~ homemade clothes to the solarpunk tag, a handful think the whole aesthetic week event is pointless, but I find it the opposite. Solarpunk is about revolution, but it can't always be big revolutions. Sometimes its the small revolution of picking up a craft that changes your life, or creating an image that inspires others to fight for a better future. It can be about writing something that makes others question why things are the way they are, when they can be better. Sometimes the desire for a nice knit scarf can be the start of a mini barter system, or become part of the mutual aid we all dream of.

I feel like I had a point with this but I forgot. But uhm... yeah.

[allwormdiet]

Agitation 3.1

Got waylaid by work and brain weather, but we're back to it. Let's see how Taylor's life is going

Her routine has come up before, but it bears saying that I think Taylor's actual superpower might just be that she's a morning person who can hold herself to accomplish daily goals, like goddamn girl

The constant, casual cruelty that makes up so much of Taylor's history is equal parts saddening and infuriating. I'm sure we'll get an explanation for why the bullies do this to her, I think I've said as much in previous posts, but also as mentioned in previous posts I find it aggravating to endure.

...I don't know if this is quite the right place in my reading to speculate on it, but I'm not sure if Taylor even has a shot at university at this point, even setting aside the cape thing. The bullies are all in her year, which means they'd never be separated from her by graduation. Their constant sabotage and harassment would mean her grades are low, so even if she gets into a college with whatever GPA she can bodge together (and no extracurriculars to pad her application out), she's probably not going to earn any scholarships and money's already pretty tight for the Heberts. That means student loans, and probably shit rates considering the world they're in.

Maybe this is my bitter ass reflecting on how the greatest benefits I got out of going to college were completely incidental to the courses I took or the degree I earned, but... Taylor, I know college meant a lot to your mom, I just don't think that path is nearly as open to you as it used to be. I think it's fine to just learn a trade, and I think it's fine if the trade is armed robbery.

So you're telling me Taylor's self-image used to be worse? Jeeesus

I like that Brian knows how to blend into an environment as the situation calls for it. That speaks to a pretty keen observational ability, and also is maybe tied to his need to act more grown-up than he is. And now I'm sad again.

"I want" is cute, embarrassment is for suckers (I say, easily embarrassed)

I don't even like coffee, but a fifteen dollar coffee had better be the best coffee you've ever had, oh my god

And honestly that must have been weird for every member of the team, just suddenly having money not be a problem anymore. Taylor's holding out for now, although I suspect it won't be that way forever, and everyone else either wants or needs it bad enough for their own ends that I don't think they're gonna think about it too hard (except for Lisa, who has the full context and whose power is thinking too hard)

Taylor please don't undersell your injuries to your teammates, I don't like you doing it with your dad but I understand it. Here though? Come onnnnn

Yeah there we go

Violence is an easy language to understand. Cruel, obviously, and painful, but if Rachel is already struggling with other people's words and feelings (five bucks says she's autistic tbh) then getting the shit kicked out of her is probably a better sell on the new recruit than any pretty speech

...Ideally they move past that pretty quick so words can be used again

Also poor Rachel, for real. Ten years in the system and then whatever it was that triggered her powers, which is obviously never good. No wonder she came out the other end more willing to trust dogs than people.

Ugh, my heart

Is she showing off for the guy she's crushing on? That's adorable

Curious that the limits of her power seem to be based on complexity of the brain. I assume there has to be a brain at all or else she could just shoot germs at people, although that'd also be a little bit inefficient as a power unless she started getting into disease warfare and holy shit this would be a very different story if Taylor could give people smallpox

Gotta be a weird day for the crab though

Couple things here

Brian you're not even eighteen yet as far as I know, what the hell

Of course Lisa cheated, she's built to cheat, at that point I'm not sure it even counts as cheating

Knowing what I know about Alec, somehow I doubt he was ever in school to drop out in the first place

...on the flipside I'm a little surprised that Rachel never went during her time in the system, you'd figure that'd be a condition of her fostering but either the guardians didn't give a shit or she fought her way out of ever actually attending

Also, I know it's a matter of course that she'd have a key to the base, but it's sweet all the same

It's nice of Brian to make this offer, although I'm willing to bet it's because he's the only Undersider who would get up before 6 AM. It's also a pretty smart call to keep her up to date this way

Also very funny that Taylor is like "Oh I like Lisa just fine but she scares the shit out of me"

...Also also, for real, Lisa has to already know what's going on with Taylor right? There's no way Taylor's good enough at lying to bury that one.

Girl I'm dreading it and I'm just reading about it

This is just. So goddamn sad. And maddening, to boot.

Gee Taylor you sure to seem to spend a fair amount of time thinking about the comparative attractiveness of other women

Agonizing, though, for real. Wildbow has knocked every school scene out of the park and I hate it.

I wonder if Taylor's gonna even bother coming back to school at this point. First day she left mid lunch, second day she left right after lunch started, here she's splitting before first period. As much as she clings to this side of her life... I don't know if it's any healthier than full-time villainy.

Go blow off steam with your new friends Taylor

Current Thoughts

I actually don't have any real expectations for this arc going into it. Obviously Arc 1 is the start of... I mean kind of everything, and Arc 2 is made up of the immediate aftermath from those events. This one? I dunno. I was a little worried I'd have to deal with another chapter of Winslow, but it looks like Taylor decided she was sick of that shit

I like Brian, but I think mostly I'm worried for him? This is a lot of effort so far made to seem mature and normal, and I don't know if that's possible for a teenager who goes out to be a supervillain. It's admirable in a sense, but I'm worried about how fragile it leaves him.

I don't love that Rachel seems satisfied by an exchange of violence but that's more bc I don't want these kids beating the shit out of each other, not any kind of "this is bad actually" sense.

Other than that I'm mostly just curious what the rest of this arc looks like. Thank fuck it's not more high school.

Oh, yeah, I'm gonna try and read more at work today, I might take my screenshots then and see if they drive me up a wall, but even if so I'll just retake them when I get home. Fingers crossed work is slow enough for it.

[doin-just-fine]

hello! I’m not a system myself, but I’m doing some research for a friend of mine who’s questioning.

I was wondering if you could do a ‘the people wanna know’ about what different kinds of systems there are/how it can present, or something in that vein?

Thanks, love your stuff!

The People Wanna Know: System Types

Disclaimer: We are by no means experts in this at all. We are quite new to the whole being plural thing and there is A LOT to learn when it comes to plurality and systems, especially in types and "microlabels". These microlabels are VERY helpful when someone is trying to sort out if they are plural or not especially if they are an atypical system like us. They can make you feel validated and at home when previously there was fear and confusion. We also want to suggest that you continue your deep dive outside of this post! We hope you give you a launch pad into the complex world of plurality but do not let this be the end of the research! I will be using definitions mostly from Pluralpedia. Systemhood and plurality is very under researched so many of the labels you'll see are created by community members that are then adopted by the greater community. That all being said, as validating as these microlabels can be they can sometimes also have the opposite effect if they don't fit all the way. If you guys land on them being plural, we encourage you to leave the microlabels behind especially if those labels are close to their experiences but not quite accurate in all ways. 🛸I found when identifying specifically as a Median system, it lead to a few denial spirals because that label mostly fit our experience but not all the way or all the time which lead to us question our experiences making it harder to accept and understand ourselves. I personally find just calling myself plural or a system is enough and allows me the freedom to have my own unique experience as a human being with an atypical brain that science is only just starting to research and understand rather than trying to define my experiences filtered through a ill fitting label that doesn't change with me as we grow and learn. But, if you guys find a label that fits like a glove CONGRATS! Use it, love it, where it with pride!

ANYWAY, THE PEOPLE WANNA KNOW!

System Types

DIAGNOSABLE SYSTEMS (labels recognized by the DSM-V) DID OSDD 1 OSDD 1A OSDD 1B OSDD 2 OSDD 3 OSDD 4 UDD

None of those fit? Build Your Own System

I will be giving short definitions of each label. If you want more information each term will take you to a more in depth description.

ORIGINS (why the system formed) Traumagenic: Origins were trauma related. Endogenic: Umbrella term for origins that are related to something other than trauma, though trauma can still be a factor but not always. SUBCATEGORIES: (link to microlabels of the subcategories bellow) Created: Systems that were created intentionally for any reason. Adaptive: Origins that were related to trauma or other adversity. Spontaneous: For systems that seemed to just appear one day seemingly without cause. Unknown: A system who's origins are unknown, unclear, or still being sorted out. Mixed: Multiple origin labels can be applied to these systems.

CONSCIOUSNESS (how communication, conscious connection, and shared existence feels with in a system) Monoconscious: Shared consciousness between members where everyone thinks the same thing together as individuals. Polyconscious: Everyone in a system has their own thoughts and mind that are separate from each other. Hydraconscious: Everyone has their own thoughts and mind but in a collective consciousness. This may feel like everyone talking out loud about different things at the same time. Cephaconscious: When member are in or near the front together they have a shared monoconscious experience but when they are not in the front they have their own separate thoughts and mind. Mutoconscious: When member are in or near the front together they have a shared monoconscious experience but when they are not in the front they have a hydraconscious experience. SYSTEM SEPARATION (how individual are the individuals) Partitionary System: Individuals are very distinct. They do not share memories and often experience time loss. Median Systems: Individuals are less distinct and blend with each other more. These systems often don't experience typical amnesia. Blurian: Systems who share 100% of memories regardless of who's fronting. These system may also not experience Amnesia. (Edit: Here is some more resources for things that blur the line of plurality and systemhood ) Unrelated to the question but maybe to your situation here is a link to help questioning systems

I hope this was helpful let me know if you have any questions or need clarification!!

REMEMBER: You're gonna be ok. You're gonna figure it out. Be kind and gentle with yourself and others. Asks are open. Have a nice day.

[nayatarot777]

what conditionings are you stripping away?

so, i live in england and a thunderstorm is currently happening as i’m typing this up. i decided to look up what thunderstorms mean metaphysically (because we’ve gotten yellow alerts and amber alerts for this storm and we hardly ever get thunderstorms so i felt like it must be significant). y’all, tell me why this is what i’ve found:

“Thunderstorms are seen as powerful and intense events, and they can symbolize an awakening in the spiritual sense.

The sudden noise of thunder can shake us out of our complacency and remind us to pay attention to what is happening around us. This awakening can prompt us to listen to our inner voice and intuition, and encourage us to make changes in our lives.

The rain that often accompanies thunderstorms is a powerful symbol of cleansing and purification. The rain washes away dirt and debris, leaving the earth feeling refreshed and renewed. In the spiritual realm, the rain can represent the release of old patterns and negative energy, allowing for a new beginning.”

very fitting for this reading 🙃

pile selection:

• pile one •

cards: ace of swords, knight of cups, the tower

i’m seeing that you’ve realised a very self-destructive pattern in who you give your love and care to. you might’ve tried to save people from their own demise and their continuous tower moments, but you’re learning to move with consciousness when dealing with others and contemplate whether or not it’s a wise idea to try to “help” people - “help” that is often coming from a saviour complex that you’ve had for a while. it’s coming from a good place, but you’re now understanding that sometimes you just need to leave people tf alone to their own bs and misery. it doesn’t have to be your problem to fix and they don’t have to be your person to try to guide out of misery that they’re extremely deep (and comfortable) in. period 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

• pile two •

cards: page of cups, the hierophant, king of cups

you’re stripping away the conditionings of authority figures and their traditional values and opinions being forced onto you. you’re learning to find your own belief system based on what feels right - not what you’ve been told - and that’s helping you to become someone who is entirely lead by your own intuition (which is something that you may have struggled with before). you’re able to find out surprising things about yourself and what your true beliefs are. i’m also hearing that your beliefs surrounding “good luck” is changing a lot. you’re definitely finding out what it’s like to be lead by faith in your own personal belief in a higher power/higher self. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

• pile three •

cards: page of pentacles, queen of pentacles, 2 of swords

you’re stripping away the habit of downplaying your accomplishments and what you’ve built. you could’ve denied abundance in some way - or at least in terms of recognising some type of abundance that you have, either physically or metaphysically. however, i feel like you’re now standing firm in your acknowledgement of how valuable you and what you’ve developed in your life actually is. i’m also hearing that you’re no longer doubting yourself in terms of being able to maintain or practically manage something. you know that you can, and that you have so much to attract and so much to learn from other people. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

• pile four •

cards: knight of wands, the devil, king of swords

you guys are finally learning how to observe and rationalise taking action before actually making a move. you could’ve been quite impulsive in the past, leading you to interest in things, places, and people that you grew dependent on. i’m also hearing that a lot of you have finally realised that you don’t actually need someone/something who you thought that you did before. someone who tried to prevent you from finding your freedom - especially in your opinions and your way of thinking. you’re undoing the conditioning that you should run away from and shame your shadow, because you’re realising that your shadow is who will give you the truth and the best guidance to follow - not your ego that’s comfortable in the same toxic and draining life cycles. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[auberge13]

These two moments are taken from the conversations Jon has with each of his parents before joining the Legion of Superheroes. There is one particularly interesting difference between how Lois and Clark each view the decision.

(Lois Lane 2019 issue #4 and Superman 2018 issue #16)

"doesn't leave you much of a choice, does it?" vs. "I am jealous of... the choices in front of you"

Now, if you're like me, this is the kind of thing that makes you very excited about characterization and storytelling so let's get into it.

Clark is a character who never really felt like being good was a choice that needed to be made. He was raised to be good by Ma and Pa and he is so inherently good that he can't imagine being anything else, let alone choosing to be anything else. Meanwhile, Lois intimately understands that being good is a choice that you have to make over and over again, even when it's hard. Doing good the way she does is constantly challenged, particularly by her father. Her choice to do good costs her that relationship with him, and she isn't able to fully reconcile with him before his death, which is explored intimately in this book (read Lois Lane).

As my friend @fae-morrigan put it while we were discussing this, "I feel you could easily read it in a way where Clark is jealous that Jon's been shown he could be Other Than Good and make an informed choice about Being Good. Where Lois knows that choosing to be good often comes at the expense of other good things (in her case, her relationship with her father)"

There's a key moment in the issue after the above screenshot that really showcases this.

(Lois Lane 2019 issue #5)

It's important to acknowledge that there is no part of Clark that would choose not to be Superman. They're the same guy. Clark would do good anyway in whatever capacity he could, he just happens to have a really large capacity. When he says he is jealous of the choices in front of Jon, it is less about doing or not doing good, but rather about how he's going to do it.

(Superman 2024 issue #1)

My friend @ultfreakme explained this really well. "comparing LOSH to college works like that because Jon's going to college (learning to be a hero), but he gets to pick from a million different majors and fuck around for a bit with a support system to fall back on if he fails. Clark went from high school (regular dude) and straight into a job (being a hero) with no ability to like....try something different."

So that's what we can learn about Lois and Clark from this, but what about Jon? The comics do a really cool thing where they break up Jon's complex thoughts about this choice into multiple conversations with different people. With Lois, Jon expresses the sense of obligation he feels. With Damian, he's able to share his hesitance, even telling him that he doesn't think he wants to accept the invitation at first. Finally, with Clark and Imra, he's able to feel his excitement about this new step in his life. It is all very college! I felt all of these things before I left too! But beyond that, this is also a great example of the way Jon will compartmentalize his issues and limit his vulnerability depending on who he's talking to. He has a tendency to minimize his own feelings in order to make other people more comfortable, which you can really see in the different things he's willing to express with each person.

Anyway, I think there's more to be said here and I'd love to hear what other people think about these moments, but I'll call it here. Moral of the story, read Lois Lane 2019 and then create something for the Jon Kent Week Mama's boy prompt- the Jon and Lois in that book are top tier. Also, if you've gotten this far you clearly like this kind of analysis so here's my post about why they aged up Jon. When I posted it Tumblr had put me in jail and turned me into a robot (wow Absolute Power is so immersive!) so it didn't show up in the tag. Sorry for the plug but I'm a little bitter about it lol.

[fizzlewizard404]

Ok, the more I've thought about it, the more I think I understand why the conclusion they gave the Collector was so off to me. And I think it was mainly two things; the execution of it, and the vagueness of it. Let me explain.

Disclaimer! I am not claiming to know everything about writing or how to do it, so take this with a grain of salt ^^

(Major spoilers below!!! You've been warned!)

First of all, I feel the need to clarify that, a lot of the vagueness here does probably have a little bit to do with how much time they had left for this. (The shows cancelation and all that.) The crew had about, like, 10 minutes to properly wrap everything up? So they needed to make it fast enough to fit as much in. With a good majority of the characters and the conclusion of their arcs, there just isn't that much to go that in depth into.

Luz? She can properly travel between both realms now, her insecurities and guilt complex have been dealt with, and she can properly be herself around the people she loves.

Eda? While, she does still have to deal with the curse, shes properly accepted it as a part of her, and feels free to be around the people she loves.

King? While he's definitely still got a lot to learn about himself, he's more free to do so than ever and has the support and help to do so from the people around him, and those he loves. I can go on with basically everyone else, but I think you get the idea by now.

The more I think about it, in theory/concept, I think having the Collector go back to space can work. But you have to establish three main things in order for it to do so.

1) Give us enough of an idea for what exactly he will be doing in space to grow as a person. Presumably, to me anyway, I feel like they're most likely on some kind of quest to undo as much of their siblings's doings. Until, potentially facing them directly again.

2) Make sure to note that the Collector is fully aware of the fact that he has a genuine and loving support group/found family that he can return whenever he feels the need to see them again. And especially make it clear that they do just that when they can. Not too often, but still somewhat regularly.

3) Inforce the fact that the aforementioned support system/found family (Luz, King and Eda, though this can include others later on) really do care about the Collector's well being and that they are willing to be there for him when they can be.

Alrighty!! Now that I have those things out of the way, let me explain how the show messed up properly showcasing them, despite how expertly everything before this was handled.

When the epilouge's beginning starts after Luz has finally put an end to Belos's evil-doing, we get to see everyone slowly start getting use to the new circumstances of their home. None of it can ever be the same way it was before, but that's definetely for the better in most cases. After all, everyone's gone through a lot as of recently. Especially this episode.

Including, (and in my opinion, most of all) the Collector. For the last ??? amount of years, everything in their life has been... stagnent, inauthentic and overall not great. Even during what we saw during For The Future. Despite it's happy, cheery and colorful surface, it was only really a facade to mask the lack of actual care and support that Collector has in his life.

The stories and adventures he plays out with King are like his own interpretation from a game of broken telephone. They can only really immitate the genuine experience and connection formed when the real thing happened. All the denizens of the Boiling Isles are reduced to a sparkly, cute puppeted version of themselves. Lacking any real emotion in order to go along with the tone of the story.

Realistically speaking, King is the only somewhat genuine thing in the Collector's world. He's the only person that they can trust and talk to. Sure, he techically has his distant, idealized connection with Eda, but she's (at least to the Collector's knowledge) always stuck as the owl beast. So that's kind of impractical for him.

In all of these stories and games of pretend, the Collector takes what would otherwise be Luz's role in King's life. They're jealous of the relation she's had with King for so long. Collector knows that while he's close to King, they can't be as close to him as Luz.

Going by this information, we can come to the conclusion that the Collector desperately wants to have real friends, and people who won't use him or lie to him. Much like how his (presumably) distant, but still likely very ill-intentioned siblings, the Archivists did. First so they wouldn't have to deal with him, and later to take all his friends away. This pattern continued with Belos, which also lead to betrayal and abandonment for the Collector.

For his entire life, Collector has struggled grasping empathy and the overall concept of death. He said it himself, clear as day. "Toys break all the time! You just fix em'!". There is a fundamental misunderstanding for him in this regard that they are unaware of.

As for the struggle with empathy, his status as an all-powerful immortal tends to make him kinda unapproachable for most non-immortals. So in order to actually play with people who he wants to play with, but are afraid of him, he forces them to do so against their wills.

Near the beginning of Watching and Dreaming, Luz and Co. are finally able to try explaining what it means to understand other people to the Collector. And after a bit, it seems like they're finally starting to get it. Kindness and forgiveness! Who guessed it was that easy all this time?? Soon after this, the Collector tries applying his newly found morals towards the first person they can. Unfortunately for everyone, that person is the furthest thing from somebody who can be reasoned with.

The Collector starts to feel as if they can finally fix things, only to nearly get blasted by Belos, mere seconds later. Thankfully, Luz swept in to safe him and tries explaining to him that he did do the right thing, just... not with the right person. Soon enough, we find out that Luz did get grazed by Belos's power. She immediately starts disintegrating and disappearing before everyone, but more specifically, before the Collector's eyes. Moments after this, Collector is... scared, but mainly confused. King and Eda are completely speechless, only being able to stare ahead of them. The Collector tries to bring Luz back, only for nothing to happen. Things go from bad to worse when King and Eda lose themselves entirely and start fighting off Belos.

In this moment, right before Luz comes back with her titan powers, the Collector is about the lowest they've been in forever. Having just realized that they can't just fix everything with the snap of their finger, and completely powerless to do ANYTHING. King and Eda are there, but they're not there. Luz is gone. There's nowhere they could go from here. It's hopeless.

A bit after Luz comes back, the Collector decides to do something with their currently fading power and help everyone in the Archives (yknow, from falling hundreds of feet in the air towards their certain deaths).

After Belos is defeated and all the goop goes away, the Collector gently falls onto the floor of the Archives, exhausted. The moment they see Amity (someone he doesn't know well, but knows is close to Luz) walk towards him, he covers his head, expecting for her to start scolding or even attacking him. But she doesn't. She reaches her hand out to him as a friendly sign of peace, and understanding. His face literally lights up when this happens.

After all of this, while I think that Collector really can't be in the Isles all the time, considering how many people probably won't be that ok with having him around all the time after what he did, it's still obvious to me that they do finally have people who they can lean on and properly be better around. Luz, King and Eda.

...Too bad that their send-off scene doesn't make any that clear!! Like, whatsoever!!

While, yeah you can say that the main trio are DEFINITELY also exhausted after everything, I don't think that would make them all of a sudden be totally fine with the Collector leaving into space on his own.

Firstly, unless we can assume that what I said earlier about him undoing the Archivists's damage where he can, it seems like he's just, isolating himself so he can't hurt anyone until he feels worthy enough to ~maybe~ go back to the Boiling Isles eventually? You know. Like the same thing Luz wanted to do in Thanks To Them because she felt like a burden onto everyone around her? But there atleast, the show made it clear that everyone seeing Luz confess to this, had a problem with it.

During this scene. We don't see anyone other than King go after the Collector. Sure Luz is looking, but that still doesn't count for much. The phrasing of King's last onscreen words to the Collector are "I hope I see you again" before he gives them François. The way this was worded makes the idea of King giving François to the Collector seem more like an almost permanent goodbye gift. Like, the two of them won't be seeing each other again, or at least for a LOONG WHILE.

I think that adding on a "soon" at the end of "I hope I see you again" could've made it a lot better, and make it more obvious that François being given to the Collector is to remind them of their newly found family and that they will be there for him, wherever he is in the universe. Which I feel is way more fitting coming from King. Like his own version of "I don't know what the future holds, but it would be so cool if you were in it" to the Collector.

One thing that I feel like made everything make way less sense is the "No one argued" line from Luz. It makes literally no sense to me considering everything they've been through together? Like?? You'd think Luz and Eda would atleast ask him if he'll be okay going away on his own?? Considering that Luz was able to recognize where the Collector was at the beginning of the episode, it feels extremely out of character for her not to recognize what they're going through here, especially when taking into account that she went through something VERY similar as of very recently herself??

As for Eda, she just kind of, lays back away from the whole situation to begin with? For some reason? Which also feels weird to me since she was also open to being there for him earlier in the episode? She's grown enough at this point to know what to say to kids when she can tell they're not doing well at the moment. Not to mention how she would also probably be able to recognize the Collector trying to isolate themselves as something she's also gone through to protect the people she cares about!! She's fully aware it doesn't work out well when you have absolutely no one by your side! So I feel like having her atleast also reminding the Collector that they're all here for him would've meant a lot more.

As for why all of this came off as really jarring to a lot of people (i'm mainly using myself as an example here btw), The Owl House has always been a show that's overall narrative message has been about found family for different people. The main example I'll be using here is for neurodivergent people. Whether or not it's something like ADHD, autism, or any kind of personality disorder.

The Collector, to me anyway, is extremely ND coded in a few ways. So, in a way, to me personally, having it seem like nobody out of the main trio was actually concerned with the Collector's well being in this scene, felt... jarring? It gave off the message of "neurodivergent people deserve love and belonging, unless they have unstable emotional regulation and struggle grasping empathy, in which case it's okay if they isolate themselves from the people they love because those loved ones don't care about them enough to where they would have a problem with the person isolating themselves", which would be ridiculously insensetive and insulting from what's otherwise such an open-minded and emotionally mature show. I read it this way when I first watched the episode when it aired, and I feel safe to say that it was not what I needed to hear at the moment. I feel like I'm doing better now, and I understand why it hit me the way it did considering everything I mentioned earlier.

I'm not calling anybody who worked on TOH ableist for any of this, and I want to make that clear. This was obviously unintentional on their end and I'm glad that I can understand that now. This show has been here for me and so many other people through so much and other than this on gripe I have with the Collector's send-off scene, the finale was everything I could've asked for and more. That's all.

[girldragongizzard]

Chapter 3: Adversary

“Hey, Chapman! The yooj?” Jill projects her question around me like a professional thespian, grabbing the attention of the startled customer.

Chapman jerks, looks up at her, and opens their mouth to talk, but takes a quick breath first. Then they look a little relieved but still rattled, and say, “Yyyyyeah. That’d be great!”

Their voice sounds like dark maple syrup, and I’m noticing the complexity of their hairdo this time.

It is a side cut, with the right side of their head shaved clean and showing off a tattoo of three fuchsias hanging down from the top of their scalp where their new hairline is. And the rest of their hair is short in the back and thick and long in the front and styled in a wavy pompadour, with a pointy and groomed sideburn that comes down half an inch below their left earlobe. And the hair is an immaculate dark hot pink.

Everything about them, their name, their voice, their haircut, all keep telling me to keep sticking to they/them for them, for now, until I actually learn their pronoun. Which I’m told is what I should do for everyone, and I try. But there’s something about their whole thing, what they’ve got going on, that transfixes me just a little bit more each time I look at them, and the sense that they’re probably an enby feels like part of it.

But now they look perplexed and still hesitant, like they’re trying to figure out whether they should try to solve a puzzle that’s been presented to them.

“Hey, Meghan, your drink’s ready,” Jill mutters at me.

Oh!

I’m in the way.

I make what I think of as a startled but cheerful sound and reach for my tablet to put it in my purse. But we all notice that the noise that comes from deep in my throat sounds almost exactly like the door chime. And everyone looks delighted and surprised by that, including me I assume.

Then I duck and fluidly bound toward my table, low, quiet, and way more graceful than I even want to be, my tail wiggling in behind me in the process. It’s embarrassing how it feels like my body is suddenly showing off for some reason.

Then I try to hide behind my table and bury my face in my drink.

But I can still clearly see Chapman in my peripheral vision and this display of mine does not seem to have unflustered them.

I may be new to physically being a dragon, and I may have a lot of trouble recognizing things like, say, flirting. But I’m not new to this. 

Whatever Chapman actually thinks of me, I feel like I’m in high school again. And I don’t even know what I think of Chapman, but my limbic system seems to have its ideas. I almost did a mating dance on the way to my table, and I really don’t know what to do about it, so now I’m remaining as still as possible now.

I have no clue what Chapman’s age is, as I watch them finally step forward to engage in their transaction. I’ve always been bad at judging ages. Humans all age at wildly different rates anyway. But also, we’re not even the same species.

Why am I reacting to them like this?

I find myself wondering if maybe they’re another dragon, just still disguised as a human, like I’d been just a week ago.

What if I’m only the first, and there’s more to come? Would I be able to sense the others, kind of in the way that Jill and Cerce already sensed these things about me?

Then I have a super wild thought, and lose myself in it as a way of distracting myself. What if there are no actual humans. What if we’re all mythical creatures waiting to shed our disguises, and that’s why we can sometimes recognize each other?

It seems as likely an explanation for what’s going on with me as anything else I can imagine. And I think I’d really like it to be true.

I decide I’m not going to pursue my feelings. They don’t make any sense. Not sexually, anyway. I wouldn’t mind being Chapman’s friend if they decide they can be friends with me. But I won’t try. They’re clearly unsettled by me, and I don’t want to impose myself on them in any way.

So the real challenge is just being normal when we’re sharing the same space, so I don’t make them more uncomfortable.

I figure that the best way to do this right now is to look around at the other customers.

There’s quite a mix of people today, and all of them are ignoring what’s going on in the front of the shop. They’re ignoring me. As usual.

And it strikes me, as I’m glancing around, now aware of my actual gender and how people seem to see me, that of all the variety of people who look like they might be women here, I share nothing in common with them.

So many of them wear some degree of makeup, and must have some sort of skin care routine. They wear jewelry of various sorts, and know how to put their hair up or get it styled the way they like. Their gestures and ways of speaking aren’t all the same, but seem like a myriad of ways of expressing femininity that I do wish I could mimic.

But, I don’t have hair. Or bare skin to apply anything to. I haven’t bothered with anything like clothes for four days now. And I don’t think I have vocal chords. I have something else that feels like it’s between my lungs. There’s no way I’m going to be using my tongue to craft soft vowels and breathy fricatives. No one alive right now is going to know how to give me vocal lessons.

And it doesn’t matter, because I’m a dragon and I really don’t have to adhere to common human beauty standards to be seen as what I am. But I do feel left out all the same.

And even if I still had a human body and was transitioning like normal, I don’t think I could stand putting stuff on my face to smooth out my complexion and adorn it. But I feel like I should.

I guess I’ve been raised by humans, and spent the first 50 years of my life soaking in human socialization. I shouldn’t be surprised I have this trouble.

Let’s say I decided to wear jewelry as a dragon. That’s something I could probably do. I could wrap necklaces or bracelets around my horns or something like that. I can’t decide if I’d be doing that for myself or to signal to everyone else that I’m female.

And at 50 years old, you’d think I’d be above this sort of quandary, because I’m well past the typical dating age. I’m settled. I’m disabled, too. I have my routines. I know who and what I am, and that’s all that matters. And what I present to the world is what the world gets. Like, other 50 year old women brag about how free they feel, no longer trying to be attractive to mates or meet societal standards.

Obviously, I’m not like other girls my age.

I turn back to my mocha to discover that Chapman is sitting at my table opposite me, composing themself with drink in both hands.

I recall seeing the movement in my peripheral vision earlier, but hadn’t made sense of it because I had successfully lost myself in thought.

I tilt my head to the side, eyes wide.

“Hi,” they say.

—

So I didn’t get a chance to compose my questions, and now Rhoda wants to hear all about Chapman while she tidies up my apartment.

As I knuckle out my explanation for Chapman’s interest in me, Rhoda is holding up things that are scattered around my livingroom and giving me a questioning look. I glance up and either smile or turn my head away, and she decides based on that whether to save it or throw it away.

So many things are just destroyed, and I have to let them go. But with anything that’s still intact, whether it’s useful to me or not, I just can’t get rid of it. I’ve got to have my things.

At certain point, she says, “Meg. Darling. We can’t store all of this in here. There isn’t room for your wings and tail, otherwise. Can you even afford a storage garage?”

In answer, I knuckle out the last few characters and then hit the talk button. “Autistic special interest,” I say.

She quirks her head and asks, “Chapman?”

I smile.

“Oh, that’s sweet. Maybe sie can help you figure out dragon things you might not otherwise know yet,” she says. We’d covered Chapman’s pronouns just a little bit earlier. Rhoda looks around at everything and sighs. Then she suggests, “What if we make your bedroom your hoard room, and turn the livingroom into your new sleeping den? I think the layout works better for that. I mean. Yes, your torso and legs aren’t all that much bigger than a human’s, but with those huge wings and that tail of yours, you know, well…” She gestures and nods at everything, “You do know.”

I acknowledge the truth of that with a gentle, tentative bob of my head.

“We’re going to need some help removing some of this wrecked furniture, too. But I’ve got a line on that. Don’t worry about it.” She tosses some obviously trashed things into the garbage and says, “OK. So. Chapman. Have you got another date with hir lined up?”

“Not date,” I respond. “Yes.”

“Sure,” she says, obviously not agreeing with my assessment. “What’cha gonna do?”

“Talk.”

“Where?”

“Park.”

“Oh, that sounds nice! Lots of room to move around. You can go for a little walk while you chat. I love it,” she says.

“Not date,” I repeat.

“I know,” she says. “My boy always liked going for walks with his friends. They'd all talk and talk and talk, and pace around the whole time even if they were just in the living room. But going places to connect and blab about anything and everything gave them all a sense of purpose, I'm sure. And stimuli and new things to talk about.” She organizes a few things, then continues, “He was autistic, too, you know. And pacing and walking was one of his stims. I wouldn't be surprised if Chapman's the same way.”

“OK, yes,” I reply. Then determined to delve into subjects of my own curiosity, I change the subject by asking the one question I do have cued up, “Why aren’t you freaking out about me being a dragon?”

Rhoda assesses me with tight lips, then replies, “It’s like you shed your old skin that night, you know. Maybe ate it in your sleep. Everyone could see this coming. It's just your new phase of growth.”

“Not you? You not do this?” I ask.

She blinks and wrinkles up her face and says, “Heavens, no! How even would I?” Then she holds up a finger. “Mind you, if I could, I would have. Ages ago! I saw how you were suffering. You were miserable under that old hide of yours. I imagine everyone saw it.”

So, I'm not getting answers from her. At least, not the ones I wanted to hear.

“Tell me,” she says. “What else are you experiencing along with this? Can you see things you couldn't see before? Are your senses sharper?”

“Yes. Thermals,” I reply.

Her eyebrows go up, “Can you fly?”

“Yes!”

“Fantastic!” she exclaims. “That must be amazing! I bet Chapman will love it!”

I’d roll my eyes, but I can’t. I do the big exaggerated head circle again.

“Oh come now,” Rhoda says. “I’m not teasing you about dating. I just genuinely think Chapman would appreciate a demonstration and you should give it to hir.”

She’s right, of course. And I agree to do so.

“In fact, I’d like to see you fly, myself,” she adds.

I look out one of my windows. I’ve got a third story apartment, two stories from the top. And there’s a small parking lot directly across the street. If I were to climb out the window and glide across that lot, I could catch the big thermal there and get some lift before wheeling out over into one of the streets. Some wing work, and I could probably get above the low buildings of that block. Without more experience, it feels really iffy, but I might be able to do it.

But I figure that a creature as big as I am is in real danger of seriously hurting itself in a crash. Too much inertia for bone density. Hell, starlings kill themselves on windows every day.

Intellectually, I know it’s a bad idea to test myself that way, but I find I’m not actually afraid.

I turn my head to look at Rhoda and open my mouth to talk, momentarily forgetting that I can’t really do that anymore, when I catch something big moving swiftly just outside my window.

My memory of it now is just a snapshot flash of an image, another dragon, wings, head, and tail pulled back, and all four feet extended outward to brace for impact with the wall between windows.

The very next moment of memory is bricks, plaster, insulation, wood, wires, and dragon billowing into my partially tidied living room and destroying it.

And I’m somehow turned 180 degrees, facing the monster who is picking themself up from the middle of the rubble of my apartment as Rhoda, who was safe in a corner near the outer wall, away from the impact and out of line of flying debris, shouts.

My tail is curled up awkwardly in the corner of the room near the door to the kitchen, and I’m already crouched and ready to leap upon the intruder, wondering how I got here, wings held tightly to my back.

And I’m also thinking that this maybe answers my questions about the durability of my body.

We are not exactly the same kind of beast, though.

Anyone looking at either of us would call us both dragons. And we have the same number of limbs. But that’s where our similarities end.

I’ve got iridescent blue and indigo scales with a pattern of diamonds down my back. I’ve got fiery orange and gold markings as well, and tan belly scales. I have a pair of horns that sweep back from my skull, and ear canals that are almost hidden behind protective scales. And I’m lithe and pointy, and look something like a cross between a gecko and a caiman, but with wings.

Then there’s this fuzzy brown asshole that looks like if you crossed a bat with a hippo and gave the result a feathered dinosaur tail. And I know that I cannot let that gaping maw anywhere near anything I care about.

I hear a rumbling that is as deep and soul shaking as you’d expect from an earthquake, and realize that it’s me. I’m making that noise with something in my ribcage.

Rhoda is pushing herself further and further back into her corner of the room, even though she’s already pressed up against the walls.

The moment my sudden adversary is free of rubble, they jump forward and let out a croak of a yawp.

In response, I jerk my head up and let out the strangest squawk that starts from the infrasonic rumble that’s been building in the depths of my body and rises to a cracking cry that sounds like an angry parrot. And then as I close my mouth afterward, a clacking noise like a raven’s comes out and I find myself jerking my head with each knock.

It’s not exactly involuntary, I just find myself doing what feels right. And I’m pretty sure the other dragon knows exactly what it means.

I’m not quite as big as my challenger, but my vocal prowess causes them to pause.

I don’t know why this is happening and I don’t know how it’s going to turn out, but two things are extremely obvious.

I’ve got to do whatever I can to keep Rhoda safe, because she is squishy and cannot survive being squished by either of us dragons.

And I’m definitely not getting my damage deposit back.

Also, I decide that hesitating is bad and I want this fucker out of my apartment.

I do a little zigzag. I leap slightly toward the outside wall, to my right, in the direction of my opponent. Then, still accelerating forward, I bound left, pushing off the floor to launch at a spot on the inner wall, twisting my body to plant my feet there so that I can leap off that wall.

I never in my life imagined doing anything like this with my old body. It was just entirely inconceivable, especially as my chronic illness set in. But, I’ve spent countless hours visualizing this exact maneuver with a body nearly identical to the one I have now, in situations I’ve really only seen in action movies.

My tail acts as a springing counterweight that also pushes off the wall just after my hind legs have launched me in the direction of the flying hippo beast. My wings have also made a measured stroke to grab some air and swim through it without slamming into floor or ceiling, but I do feel them brushing surfaces and things in the process.

Head bowed and turned sideways, I slam the peak of my shoulders into the side of the other dragon, and then straighten my neck out and sink my horns into their haunch.

I manage to make them slide about two feet, and squeeze an agonized “grawp” from their throat.

It’s not enough, though. I need them out.

I get smacked repeatedly with their right wing as they try to twist to bite me. But I’m more agile and serpentine than they are, and I’m climbing over the base of their tail and wrapping my own around their legs, hooking my tail barb in one of their ankles and pulling.

Scrabbling and clawing my way to the huge hole in the wall, I manage to get them to spin in place just to reduce the pain caused by my tail barb.

A good nine tenths of the apartment is now flapping wings, dust, and enraged screaming and roaring the likes of which Hollywood has never managed to imitate.

And then I do the thing. If this asshole wants to challenge and fight me, let them do it outside, away from people.

I unhook my tail and leap from my apartment, rumbling and clacking the whole way, and dive across the street to the parking lot.

The sun is going down, so the air is cooling. But it’s been a long summer day and the pavement of the parking lot is still rising with heat, and I spread my wings as wide as I can to catch it.

The lift keeps me from slamming into a car. And, with a beat of my wings and a curve of my spine, I manage to clear a tree near the street and avoid becoming part of the mural painted on the nearest building.

I let out a cackling challenge as I work to gain altitude flying down the street and toward the bay, away from what used to be my home.

I don’t have to turn my head far to see behind me, and a flurry of movement in my peripheral vision tells me I’m being pursued.

Perfect.

How in the God damned hell can that thing fly?

---

copyright 2024 the Inmara Fenumera

if you see a typo, report a typo

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I find it so interesting that with in the twist universe, the boys write things out in English and not Japanese. For instance, the Valentines Day cards having been written in English as well as the contract in the Octavinelle commercial. It feels very deliberate. As if to indicate that they are foreign and don't necessarily speak the same language, but the writers also want us to still understand what's being written so they write it in English. Idk I just think it's a neat way of depicting this without having to go full Tolkien.

Mmm, that's definitely an interesting topic 🤔 Most fantasy media doesn't go out of its way to invent entirely new languages for its use (I only know of Devil is a Part Timer! doing it). It's actually difficult to come up with an entirely new language; you don't just come up with substitutions for words, but also new meaningful symbols, pronunciations, grammar and syntax which governs how the and sounds, words can be arranged, and social rules for the language's use. It's just easier to use a preexisting language and then to come up with some excuse for why we can understand them (typically because of magic doing the translating for us, or plain old suspension of disbelief). In the case of TWST, I think there's a number of reasons why they decided to utilize English for its writing system:

Firstly! The main setting for the game, Night Raven College, is modelled after a British boarding school and England's education system in general. With such English roots, it only "makes sense" for the characters to also write in English. If we consider that Yana herself is involved with TWST, "English" is also an aesthetic that is very suited to her skillset, especially considering her other very popular work, Black Butler. (She really was a perfect pick for the job, huh?) Secondly! If TWST's intention always was to go international someday (which it has), English is a safe bet to go since it's considered a "global" or "universal" language. Not everyone knows it of course, but it's the closest thing we have to a "common" tongue, as the most people in the world speak it! Thirdly (and this is the big one)! In Japan, TWST's country of origin, English is seen as (for lack of a better term) "aesthetic" and even as a status symbol. One 2020 poll found that less than 30% of the Japanese population speak English at any level, and 2-8% speak English fluently. In other words, most Japanese people would not understand the level of English being used in TWST, from Azul's contracts to the wording on the Great Seven statues and more. (You can sort of get a grasp for how few Japanese people are fluent in English from the Valentine's Day Gifts, which are all written in English; it's the one time of year when Japanese fans behave like EN fans and ask around for translations of the cards rather than the other way around for generalized TWST content.) Now, continuing off the point I made about English being seen as a status symbol... It's typically the highly educated and/or the privileged of Japan that learn English to a fluent degree. Considering that NRC is seen as an elite institution, the fact that its students can fully articulate (ie use full sentences in complex ways) in English only adds to that feeling of "being elite" (at least for the Japanese audience). English also has the effect of making the world of TWST come across as more "foreign" and helps to simulate the "other-worldliness" of the TWST characters in general (again, because of how rare fluent English is in Japan). The effect is somewhat lost in TWST EN, as most things are in English and the material is presented to predominantly English-speaking audiences in the USA and Canada, although I guess you could make the argument that the spoken dialogue staying in Japanese makes up for that lost feeling of the writing seeming foreign.

So!! There's actually many different reasons (or perhaps a combination of all of these, or unintended side-effects of one of them) as to why the general writing system in TWST is English rather than Japanese.

[lizziehatters-teacards]

Can I add or say something about your recent post? This one: https://www.tumblr.com/lizziehatters-teacards/768051097577324544/we-cant-change-the-past-but-we-can-make-a-new 

I do believe/agree that Wilbur's mental health has played a role in his actions and the loss of his friends. But I don't think or believe that makes him a shitty person. I believe that Wilbur is aware that his mental health isn't good but I don't believe he knew or realized how bad it was getting and how it was affecting those around him. It is possible those around also didn't know or realize how bad it was until this situation happened. (Otherwise, if they did, they choose to ignore it for whatever reason until they couldn't) 

He can’t change what happened, he can’t undo what he did/done, he can't magically change his habits, magically unlearn any bad or toxic coping mechanisms his brain learned, but he can try.  What does it take to change? Making and acknowledging mistakes, grace from those around you, and most importantly, time. Growth is not instantaneous. You don’t immediately change into a good or better person or friend, and lapsing back into old habits doesn't mean they're not trying. People lapsed back into their bad habits or their old lifestyle because that’s either where they felt safe, a coping mechanism, or it's what they know. Because even if you know you're a mess and you want to do better you're going to struggle with change if your situation still encourages old behaviors. Sometimes people try to overcome those patterns and they fail and that sucks, but what matters is if they keep trying and do not give up on themselves.

The best way for a person to not give up on themselves? A good support system, not one of those where if you slip up once then they decide you're either a disappointment at best or an irredeemable monster at worst. So glad he still has the band with him at least and was hoping (and then disappointed) that he would still have some of his MC friends. Everyone deserves a person in their corner -no matter who- and everyone deserves a chance to change. Isolating them or throwing them to the wolves doesn’t help them or others grow and change, it just makes them scared to make and/or acknowledge their mistakes. 

If you kick someone when they’re down, they may never get back up. Others sending death threats, doxing, and making harmful edits is doing nothing to help him, help her, or help others. All it does is stroke your morally righteous ego. It’s disheartening to see how many people think threats, hate, doxing, and de-platforming are the only solutions to an issue with a content creator, even ones who acknowledged/admitted they were in the wrong and want to grow and change. De-platforming should only be reserved for creators who are currently an active danger to others with said platform. (Like if they're sending/making hate campaigns, doxing people's home addresses, sharing private info only for hurting the other party, etc.) Someone who is making an effort to change is not an active danger in my eyes, so I don’t believe that they deserve to lose all the things they’ve worked towards/for. It’s also why I find it a bit upsetting that this was made public without any attempt to try and find a resolution in private.

I get and understand that she was hurt but bringing an issue to the Internet and throwing them to the Twitter/Internet hate mob isn’t the only way to hold someone accountable and I hate that it seems to be becoming the norm with how to deal with these issues. I know that Wilbur may not be innocent, but he's not some manipulative irredeemable monster nor is he an innocent angel who did no wrong. He's just a person. And people are complex, situations are complex.

Everyone has the potential for redemption or being rehabilitated. Instead of throwing away the people we deem as 'evil' without any support or attempt to help them improve, we should be trying to understand and support them. We need to understand why people behave or do the things they do so that 1) We can help them so they won't end up hurting others, 2) Recognize what the patterns and cycles are so we can break them, and 3) Be able to recognize the signs so we can help others and nip the problem in the bud before it gets worse. Recognizing the potential of people who do wrong to improve, encouraging them to do better, and giving them a path to a better future is the way we end this cycle and prevent the creation of future victims.

I hope Wilbur learns from his mistakes and does his best to rectify them. I hope that he doesn't get completely cut off from every friendship he ever made. I hope he works to regain the trust of the people who were once close to him (if he wants to). I hope and want Wilbur to heal, improve, better himself, and be happy with himself. (The same sentiment goes toward Tommy and Shelby)

(Sorry for the long rant, I just have a lot to say and nowhere to really say it, so I hope all these words made sense. Also, hopefully this doesn't sound or come across as me being rude or that I was yelling or lecturing at you, I wasn't. And I got off topic a bit, sorry about that.)

^^^^^^

Thankyou for ranting in my inbox,

I was feeling down when I scrolled through tumblr and those ccs of Tommy's song.

Shit made me feel some what shitty and idk what to expect honestly

[boxboxblog]

In Depth: The Path to F1

Hello, this post is a response to an ask that wanted to know more details about the path from karting, to feeder series, to F1, and why certain drivers are chosen for F1 over others. Enjoy!

So, as we all know all drivers (in every motorsport, even biking) start out in karts. I have always seen go-karts as mini-F1 cars, but mostly they are there too develop the base skills needed for racing. Reaction time, how to follow the racing line, basic racing rules, etc. All of these things are learned in karting. Karting is also there to be a filtration system into the feeder series teams.

For a future F1 driver it usually goes like this. They start out casually karting at age four to five. If their families can afford it or they find a local sponsor, they move on to professional karting, usually by age ten. During this time they compete in a variety of local and national series. Just like the feeder series, if they show promise they move up the series chain in karting. So for example, a karter might start out in their towns local karting, then move on to regional, then move on to national, and then take part in something like the FIA Karting European Championship. The higher up series are more expensive, so it becomes imperative to a karter who wants to rise through to top series to have money.

Around the early teens, karters start to transition into feeder series, usually low level ones like F4. They are really only able to get into the feeder series by having serious financial backing and attracting the attention of feeder teams. So even if a driver has the talent to move on, if they cannot afford it or a seat is not offered to them, they are out. Like karting, there are different levels of series in single-seaters, each one progressively more expensive and more difficult to get into. Drivers who get into feeder series usually are the best of the world's karters, so skill is paramount. There have been many cases of paid drivers in these seats, but even if a driver has to buy their way in they usually still have the skill to compete (at least in a low level way).

Most new single-seat drivers start out in series like Formula Renault or F4. These are the lowest level single-seater categories, and are intended for the most junior drivers. If they show skill, have sponsorships, and test well in the next car, they move up to F3. Same thing in getting to F2. Some drivers jump around a lot, skipping series, or even dropping back into a lower series. I wish I could give you every reason why things like this happen, but it's always different. For example, Max Verstappen jumped from F3 right to F1 due to how well he tested in an F1 car, and his general skill throughout his career. Getting into F1 requires the same things as jumping to a higher series normally does, but it is a little more complex than that. This has led to some rather head-scratching promotions. So why are these decisions made?

1. Testing Performance

When it comes to getting an F1 seat, past titles matter but not nearly as much as they used to. They of course take it into consideration, but there have been many F2 champions who never drove for F1, and many drivers who placed low in F2 that have. One of the biggest is how well the driver tests in an F1 car. On paper, all the single-seater cars look very similar. Same shape, same basic internal structure, and they all drive quite fast. But there are major differences between them relative to speed, power, weight, aerodynamics, and overall tech. For example, the speed slowly increases as you move up in these series. Another example is that F4 cars are very technologically simple, but F1 cars are like driving computers. This means that some drivers may excel with one type of car, but do incredibly poorly with another. Zhou Guanyu, for example, did super well with F3 cars but not particularly well with F2 cars. So sometimes an F2 or F3 champion will get into a F1 car and just not be able to handle it. In the same vein, a lower ranked F2 driver might test and find themselves much more comfortable in an F1 car, which would draw the attention of F1 teams. Behind the scenes things like that matter massively.

2. Money

Another more negative aspect behind who gets chosen and who does not is money and sponsorships. If a team sees a young driver with a valuable sponsor who will bring revenue, they tend to pay them a little more attention, regardless of their standings. On the flip side, if a team sees a F2 champion who has no big sponsors and might not be able to pay, there is a smaller chance they will sign them. Baseline is that you need money to compete and if you don't have it, too bad. Remember, money is everything in F1. If you look at a decision and cannot seem to find any other logical explanation, default to money.

3. Team Affiliation

A huge factor is also team affiliation. I have mentioned in past posts things like the Mclaren Young Drivers Program, or the Red Bull Junior Program, or the Ferrari Driver Academy. But what are they? Well, simply, teams will take notice of young drivers (karters or early feeder series drivers) and invest in them in exchange for a contractual relationship. So the teams help pay their way, trains them, help negotiate in lower series, helps network, etc. The goal of the team is to help build up a talented driver who will eventually join them in F1, and these drivers are contractually obligated to go with them. So when teams go to pick their next driver, they usually pull from their programs or academies. If an F2 champion has no team program, but the driver who came in 5th does, they have a higher chance of being chosen.

4. Non-Standing Performance

So, like in most things numbers are not everything. Yes, how you finish a race is highly important, but so are other things. If there is a young driver in a really bad car that should always finish last, but they manage to pull it into points, that is something F1 teams notice. This is because it shows that driver has the skill to maximise the performance of a underperforming car. Likewise, if a driver gets third every race, sure its third, but those are incredibly consistent results. Teams don't want a driver who gets 1st twice, but then 10th, then 8th, then 3rd, then 15th, and so on. Even if it isn't the number one spot, having consistent results is something F1 teams know is necessary. The final non-standing skill I will discuss is adaptability. If an F1 team looks at a driver and they have remained in one series for years and keep winning, they might wonder how they will adapt to a different style car after so long. If they look at a driver who has been through multiple series, multiple teams, and multiple style cars and generated positive results every time, even if they aren't wins, that might spark their interest more.

5. Personality

It is a small aspect, but some teams just prefer to work with a specific personality type. Mercedes for example tends to go for the more composed driver, while Red Bull prefers ones with more chutzpah. Ferrari likes the self-sacrificing, passionate type, and Mclaren kind of jumps around, but lean towards the outgoing young drivers. It is all about team dynamics and how well everyone will work with this new driver. Remember, F1 is a team sport, and conflict inside the garage really effects results. They want a smoothly running system, and they are aware of what personalities mesh well. Honestly, if you look close enough you can pick up on each teams type perfectly. It's a little like people picking who they date. They want to go with someone they know they will enjoy. Does it always work out? No, sometimes it fails massively. But they know what usually works for them and what doesn't.

6. Marketability

Finally, another more negative reason, the publics wishes are very important. Teams want someone that fans will get behind, so they may go for a more likable or compelling character over a more basic one. The personality hire of F1 if you will. If there is an F2 driver who is winning but the public doesn't really like, this may make F1 look elsewhere. Instead, they might go for the driver who is performing decently and has a lot of built in fans. Nationality also is a huge factor, as the F1 goal is to have fans in every country. The best way to create this is to have drivers from every country, so a driver may be looked at more closely if there is no other from their country on the grid, or if they match the nationality of the team. People want to root for their own countrymen after all, and F1 teams know this. For example, the French team Alpine has two French drivers right now, and it is widely known that they were chosen for their nationality. This doesn't mean they don't have talent, it just means it as an aspect to the choice.

Alright, that is all from me. Remember, It's quite easy to look in from the outside and say the F2 champion should always get an F1 seat afterward, but factors like this need to be taken into consideration. And the choices that are made are almost never made for one single reason, but rather a combination of everything stated above.

I hope this answered all of your questions,

Cheers,

-B