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yeonchi · 1 year ago

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Doctor Who 60th Anniversary Special Review Part 2/3: Wild Blue Yonder

I dreamt that Neil Patrick Harris was the Doctor before watching this episode.

Anyway, there were rumours circulating that Matt Smith and Peter Capaldi were to return secretly for cameos in this episode, given all the secrecy behind this episode. That did not eventuate as RTD would explain that he kept the episode a secret because this was intended to be a simpler episode. Given all the attention that Doctor Who gets while filming, I can understand this episode mostly being filmed on sets in studio.

Here is my spoiler-free thought for the episode: "I'm gonna Gotcha all the Chemies!"

Spoilers after the break.

The Problem with Newton

The episode begins with a man going to sit down under a tree as an apple falls onto his head. We soon learn that he is Sir Isaac Newton as the TARDIS ends up in the tree above him. The Doctor and Donna take the opportunity to make a joke about the gravity mavity of the situation before they are forced to leave. Later on, the two of them talk about how Isaac Newton was "hot", leading to the Doctor discovering a new open side to his sexuality.

There is an SJW red flag here (not even two minutes into the episode) which is that Isaac Newton is played by Nathaniel Curtis, a queer actor who is also half-Indian. So the left have issues with characters being voiced by white actors and the whitewashing of history, yet they will defend this because "it's fiction, it's not supposed to be realistic". I could care less about this controversy if it weren't for this hypocrisy. But whatever, that's not my main problem with the episode.

The Mandalorian Effect- no wait, I take that back

The TARDIS lands on a spaceship as the Doctor and Donna are forced to evacuate it. The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver to trigger the TARDIS to repair itself (because the TARDIS has never been known to do so on its own) before he and Donna investigate the spaceship. However, the HADS activates and the TARDIS goes away, leaving the Doctor without his sonic screwdriver as well.

As the Doctor and Donna continue investigating on a hovercart, they notice a robot moving slowly to a one-word announcement, with the ship reconfiguring itself as well. The Doctor and Donna find their way to the cockpit of the ship, where they discover that the ship has powered down, there are no (other) life signs onboard and someone opened an airlock door three years prior before it closed back up. The Doctor releases a drone to see where they are and discovers that the ship fell through a wormhole to the edge of the universe. They hear a noise and head outside to see the ship reconfiguring itself to another announcement.

While the Doctor and Donna continue investigating the ship, they notice the area around them getting colder as they open up to versions of each other who, unbeknownst to them, have bigger arms. The Doctor and Donna realise that the other isn't actually in the room with them as they reunite in the cockpit, learning that their duplicates are not-things who came from the nothing. They escape, but the not-things are able to grow until they get stuck. The Doctor deduces that the not-things are able to convert heat into mass and that they also have their thoughts and memories. The Doctor and Donna try to escape them through a ladder, but the ship reconfigures itself again and they are separated.

What was interesting about the filming of the corridor sequences was that they did a "live greenscreen", which is that they have computers creating a virtual set from pre-rendered backgrounds while the cameras are filming, unlike previously where the chroma keying would be done in editing. So that's where all those Nvidia GPUs went aside from crypto mining rigs. I almost thought they did LED screens like in The Mandalorian.

Giving you the face and throwing it away shamelessly

The Doctor and Donna meet each other again, except they don't know if the other person is real or a not-thing. The Doctor takes his tie off and drops it on the ground in front of Donna as Donna reveals to him that she was actually born in Southampton, not Chiswick.

Meanwhile, Donna reveals to the Doctor that she knows that he is not actually from Gallifrey; when she became the DoctorDonna again, she received a retroactive copy of the Doctor's memories since they parted, including the memories of the Timeless Child and the Flux, which was revealed to have destroyed half the universe (on top of the portion, possibly a quarter, of the universe that was destroyed by the Master's actions in Logopolis). The Doctor tells Donna that he continues running because he cannot bear to look back on something that devastated the universe, despite Donna's reassurance that it wasn't his fault. The Doctor breaks down and is about to hug Donna when she reveals herself to be the not-thing.

Likewise, Donna notices that the tie the Doctor dropped has disappeared, meaning that the Doctor she is with is the not-thing because he didn't know that things keep existing even after they are gone. The not-thing Doctor bends back and talks out of his ass for a bit before chasing Donna out in a spider walk.

So yeah, RTD basically confirmed Chibnall's double-down on the Timeless Child. I'm not going to go into detail why I hate that arc, you can read the Thirteenth Doctor Reviews for that. The Doctor always has and always will be from Gallifrey.

I almost thought RTD would just ignore it if he's got the face to not retcon the biggest disgrace of the Chibnall era, but the writing was on the wall when he said that this episode would have a connection to the Flux and the Timeless Child. It'd be pointless for me to call RTD out for being this shameless because I've done it multiple times already.

Also, there isn't any reason why Donna should be caught up with the Doctor's memories because a) memories do not work that way, and b) even Donna was unable to comprehend those memories herself, meaning that that twist was only there for the not-thing Donna to confront the Doctor with it using her outer space brain. Or maybe the not-thing Donna got those memories from the not-thing Doctor or by reading the Doctor's mind, who knows.

Together in gravity mavity

So the Doctor, Donna and the not-things reunite in a chamber. As they try to work out which of them is real, the Doctor points out that Donna thinks that she is stupid and brilliant, two completely different things, at the same time. Maybe that explains why the left are defending the Isaac Newton scene, because they can be proud of their own hypocrisy.

The real Doctor and Donna find each other before the former uses salt in an effort to goad them into either crossing the line or counting all the grains of salt, a superstition that is also apparently true. They then learn that the not-things were shaped by the negativity of the universe and they wanted to wage war in it; they know that the TARDIS will come back for the Doctor and Donna, so if the not-things fully become them, the TARDIS will come back for them. Seeing through the deception, the not-Donna manages to blow the salt away before another chase ensues.

Returning to the cockpit, the real Doctor and Donna manage to separate themselves from the not-things. They realise that the not-things are trying to provoke them into thinking so they can copy them faster, so they try and stop thinking, but in the end, the Doctor is too eager to solve the mystery because the not-things don't know what is happening.

The Doctor opens the sunroof to investigate the banging noise; they see the female captain of the ship, circling around the ship caught in the gravity mavity field. Finally, he deduces that the captain ejected herself from the airlock three years ago because she knew what the not-things would do if they copied her perfectly, and as a result, the not-things lost what they had copied of the captain. The not-thing Doctor deduces the rest of the mystery; before the captain ejected herself, she set in motion a slow self-destruct plan involving a slow countdown, the ship reconfiguring itself slowly and a robot walking slowly towards a panel with the trigger button.

Now with the same intelligence as their counterparts, the not-things rush out to stop the robot as the Doctor speeds up the countdown. Despite their best efforts, the Doctor and Donna are unable to stop the not-things, but it is then that the TARDIS returns for the Doctor as the hostile action ends. The Doctor pedals towards Donna and the not-thing Donna as he tries to work out again which one is the real Donna.

This scene is where it gets idiotic. The Doctor tries to do a "something only the real Donna would know" on the two Donnas. The real Donna explains her answer, but the not-thing Donna says "It just is". The typical cliché would be the Doctor picking the real Donna, but the Doctor picks the not-thing and we get about two minutes of forced tension where the Doctor realises that he got the wrong Donna and quickly goes back to do a switcheroo because he's an idiot. I know the Doctor is an idiot in a box and he doesn't have to be the smartest person in the room, but RTD really did him dirty like that. First the "male-presenting Time Lord" scene in the last episode and now this.

Final tribute

As the Doctor wonders whether invoking a superstition at the edge of the universe may have allowed something to come through, the TARDIS lands back at Camden Market, a day or two since they left, where they are greeted by Wilfred Mott, who tells Donna that he told her family to bunker down before a peaceful protest chaos ensues.

This was Bernard Cribbins' final appearance on Doctor Who and his only involvement in the specials before his death on 27 July 2022 aged 93, only two days after filming wrapped. Once again, he is sorely missed.

Summary and verdict

No other general thoughts because this was a pretty straightforward episode. This was RTD's attempt at a Moffat high-concept episode (like Listen or Heaven Sent), maximising the budget on something that would have been a low-budget double-banked episode pre-Chibnall. Once again, I understand why RTD wanted to make this special simple and keep it a secret given the attention and publicity Doctor Who filming gets.

This was a pretty good episode deserving of an 8 out of 10. However, I'm docking points for the Isaac Newton hypocrisy and the shameless confirmation of the Timeless Child. Everything else was pretty nice, even the Bernard Cribbins cameo. I'll give credit for RTD addressing the effects of the Flux on the universe, even if there's no hope of restoring what was destroyed.

I had thought about giving last week's episode a little higher score or making up for it by giving one or two more points to this one, but then I decided that I wouldn't be putting on any kid gloves for the RTD2 era, especially not with what happened.

Rating: 5/10

Stay tuned next week as I review the third of the Doctor Who 60th Anniversary Specials, The Giggle.

Transgender representation and issues

I decided to leave this week’s special focus topic to last because I didn’t want to drag out the summary and verdict. Please note that this section mostly consists of my observations as a cisgender male and that they do not reflect the views or opinions of others inside or outside the transgender community. Feel free to stop reading now if the issues I am about to discuss (deadnaming, misgendering, grooming, transphobia or harassment) hit close to home for you.

Rose Noble, played by transgender actress Yasmin Finney, is the first regular character to be trangender and non-binary. The first transgender actor/actress though, was Bethany Black, who played 474 in Sleep No More. When I first heard that Finney was casted in the specials, I was under the impression that she would be the new companion seeing as her character's name was Rose, but then Millie Gibson was cast as the new companion, Ruby Sunday. However, Rose is set to have a role in Series 14, so we’ll just have to see. In a slightly related note, drag queen Jinkx Monsoon, famous for RuPaul’s Drag Race, is also set to appear in Series 14 as a villain.

The Star Beast briefly touched on the experiences of being transgender through Rose’s eyes; she was deadnamed by some passing-by boys, her family sometimes becomes worried about accidentally misgendering her, and despite her gender transition, she has trouble accepting who she is until the reawakening of the DoctorDonna gives her the identity affirmation she needed. I’m not speaking for the trans community in regards to this, but this is a good example of trans representation that doesn’t overshadow the story too much. The assuming pronouns bit and the berating of the Doctor at the end was too much though, I will say that.

Rose was written as 15 years old when it is implied that the story is set in 2023, which causes a problem as she would have been born in 2008, two years before Donna and Shaun married. Even if we assume that she was born post-2010, her age in the story also creates a contentious element in her transition, particularly with certain people. RTD could have put the story two years into the future – he’s working on Series 15 at the moment, after all – and it wouldn’t have been that much of a problem, but as always, he knows what he’s doing. The reason I didn’t point this out in the last review is because it’s relevant to this topic.

Transgender issues are the biggest SJW red flag of the specials (and possibly beyond), particularly given their prominence in the news following the coronavirus pandemic. Personally, while I am wary of the issues involving the trans community and “transphobes”, I don’t have much of an opinion on them because I have no stake in them – I don’t know any trans friends IRL and I don’t have any children to worry about what they will become in the future. I don’t go out of my way to call myself an ally to the LGBT, but I will respect the community whatever they decide to identify as. As such, I will respect preferred names and pronouns for the sake of the audience reading these reviews.

Although I may seem like I’m being anti-woke, I actually do sympathise with some woke causes in general. That being said, I disagree with the anti-SJW notion that LGBT awareness or sex education is considered “grooming”. In regards to the latter, there wasn’t much emphasis on sex education when I was at school (except in Year 8 and 9 health class) and most of what I knew about sex came from books I found myself in bookshops or libraries. As for the former, I fail to see a pipeline of how “trans grooming” works, that letting trans people near children will either lead them to be sexually abused or become trans themselves, especially when they haven’t gone through puberty yet. The same can be said about drag queens and “drag queen story time”, though I also want to know the rationale behind it and the rationale behind opposing it.

To play devil’s advocate, I can kind of see why some parents would feel that way (apart from not being open-minded); to bring neurodiversity into the equation, there are studies suggesting a connection between autism and gender dysphoria, with trans and nonbinary people being 3-6 times more likely to be autistic. A thing in common with knowing that as a parent, your child is autistic or your child comes out as trans, is that you realise your child is no longer the child you thought you knew so you have the right to grieve and mourn the future you imagined for them, but in the end, you can be open-minded about this and realise the amazing things your new child can achieve, maybe in a different way from when you imagined. But what the hell do I know, I’m not a parent nor do I anticipate the prospect of having children. However, I will admit that I’ve known people who looked better before tattoos/non-ear piercings/plastic surgery, but that’s because I’m trad like that.

Pronouns are also a point of contention; trans or non-binary individuals have been ridiculed for identifying as they/them, usually used in a plural context but also used in a singular context, or the many neopronouns that have been trending since the 2010s. At the same time, trans allies have also been ridiculed for including their pronouns in their social media bios, email signatures and/or business cards; my reasoning is because it would be obvious to others what pronouns they would use based on the gender their name sounds or their appearance looks like, but then we also get the problem of assuming pronouns which then leads to misgendering and deadnaming. And I thought that was only a meme. If Starfield has taught us anything, it’s that we’ve come to the point where gender can be defined by pronouns now.

The #DropKiwiFarms campaign of 2022 was the biggest example of internet providers pandering to the trans community, something that users summed up as certain (trans) individuals using their power to hide their dirty laundry recorded on the site. The Kiwi Farms documents anyone they get enough lolcow material from, famous or obscure, and their culture is such that they will make fun of anyone or anything, even fellow users. In the case of obscure individuals, their threads can go dead if they don’t pay attention to it or give them material to make fun of. Yes, doxxing is an issue on the site, but in my opinion it's how you react to being exposed that matters. Kiwis directly interacting or trolling lolcows is frowned upon or even ridiculed if they’re stupid enough to post their trolling plans or efforts. Despite what #DropKiwiFarms supporters may claim, the actions of a few individuals do not represent an entire site – it’s like blaming 4chan and similar imageboard sites for review bombing “woke” media when said media is objectively bad. And say what you will about the Kiwi Farms, but they have exposed and documented absolute shitheads and lolcows, such as Chris-chan and Yaniv, examples of bad trans people who are not representative of the entire community.

Unpopular opinion, but calling it a “trans genocide” is something that I tilt my head at because while there are trans people who have been killed for being trans, I think that being trans in places like Ukraine, Israel/Palestine or even China is the least of their problems. I would also say that it would be better to call it a suicide epidemic, but I haven’t been able to find any sources comparing the statistics of trans suicides or killings. That doesn't go to say that less or nothing should be done about trans issues because trans people are people too (I also wonder what “trans rights” the community is seeking that are different from “human rights”, though I imagine most of them would be about the same).

In the end, I want to wrap this up with some final thoughts from myself – the concept of TERFs is just an example of the left eating the left (in this case feminists), and masturbation is a gender-affirming therapy, change my mind.

#doctor who #doctor who 60th anniversary #fourteenth doctor

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ekprincerogelio · 1 year ago

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Dear All

It took me a year and 3 months to write this. But today is the day I have been waiting for!! And I knew one day everything was gonna be alright. But where do I start/begin?

In 2022 my life changed drastically but I continued like nothing happened. And that's where the problem started, because indeed a lot happened but no one cared. Hence i lived like I don't care too, yet I was hurting deep down. The accusations (in a case of UFS vs Tshabalala RJ) were serious and everyone believed what they wanted to believe and I believed in myself.

However, the way society/community looks and believes cannot be changed. Which impacted me in a negative way, ended up making decisions I will never regret in my entire life.. HOLD ON! this is not about the decisions I took but how people reacted towards me. No one ever asked me what happened except for my attorney, yet I appeared as a monster to everyone.

Did I really care though?? Truth is I did care; even though I wasn't able to speak about it because I allowed people to believe whatever they wanted to believe. Long story short: The situation changed me because I started having trust issues, not knowing who to trust anymore. Of which my family and I lost about R350k in that case, that's where the issue started. No one in the family cared about the money we lost though, but to me it wasn't about the money. I only needed them to ask me how I feel, am I okay or any other questions related to me and the case. Just simple things.

Okay wait, this is not about my family but about me.. I later reviewed the whole situation and realised that people think money solves everything, but no one cares about emotions and mental health. Which led me to the biggest decision of my life, whereby I ended up disowning some people for good and guess what I don't regret.

Unfortunately the decision I took affected me so badly financially, emotionally, physically and mentally. Considering the fact that I'm still a student, I had a project working on and I emptied my savings with legal fees. So basically I had no source of income anymore, that's where issues started. I started borrowing money, and I regret doing that because money is the route of all evil things. I started drinking alcohol like a crazy man, and met with the wrong people that were never in my league. Then I applied for a loan which was approved, and worked on my project again, thank God. A multi million project, but it wasn't easy because I PERSONALLY DON'T TRUST ANYONE ANYMORE. And nothing can change that, but I'm glad that I'm healed from what happened. Lol, did I really heal or I was planning something.?

At first I was planning to prove myself and expose the matter of what happened. But is it worth it..?? HELL NO, therefore I healed.

Moreover, people will forever believe the system over you but stay true to yourself and believe in you. Even your friends will believe you're living a lie, but never try to prove them wrong but distance yourself from them with peace though. Have a good relationship with them, but choose what you speak with them. BECAUSE NO ONE HAS TO BELIEVE YOU BUT YOURSELF. Of which I pretend to like people, but that wasn't me it was the situation; I was literally living a fake life.

This whole situation showed me that, only a few people will always have your back in a bad situation. Although they won't support you fully, and it's not their responsibility to support you. HENCEFORTH, I SAY NEVER IN YOUR LIFE TIME HELP ANYONE AND NEVER IN YOUR LIFE TIME TRUST ANYONE.

When the time is right some people will be able to read this, but others won't. Meaning those who will be able to read this, are the people whom I can give a chance once again.

Even though these hard times made me not trust GOD anymore, because I believed that I was God's favourite. I used to get everything I wanted but this one time made me lose all faith in God and I was wrong. And therefore thank you God for blessing me again and reminding me I'm still your favourite.

Just know that every journey has problems. May the good Lord protect you emotionally, physically, mentally and most importantly SPIRITUALLY.

Thanks you!!

Rethabile Rogelio Joseph Mofokeng

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unrelaxing · 5 months ago

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UPDATE!

Priorities have had to shift this year. There's been a terminal cancer diagnosis and after some discussion, J and I don't think a 2025 Japan trip is a smart idea. Instead, we'll be doing a 2026 Europe trip, potentially 3-4 weeks. I am, however, on track to make that 9,000 dollar goal for September 2025 (after some help from friends after ANOTHER bout of illness + tax return). I set up an entirely new bank account this month, every time I get my pay check, a certain amount will automatically go into the new bank account. This is new, and came from the realisation that I hated living paycheck to paycheck, and that whatever I was doing before wasn't working at all.

Guys, it's hard. I'm putting money in my savings but it's stressful. I had to buy a new mattress and borrowed money from my sister, and then had to get endoscopy + colonoscopy and had to borrow money from my mum. I have two separate 5,000 dollar debt from other times money got too tight and I had to take out loans. All in all, I'm trying to pay off 14k while also saving. This fortnight, in order to cover all my bills, I'm gonna have to take on another small loan.

However, it will mean that by 25th of July, I'll have $1,043 in savings. Next month, I'll have wiped off 2k of that debt and I can have a bit more breathing room, I can increase the amount I put into savings, and the amount I pay off. It sounds ... difficult typing it all up, but at the same time I feel like I'm getting in control of my finances in a way that I wasn't before.

Alas, starting a new system can be tough. It's better, too, that we moved the Japan trip, because things happened for me this year that really highlighted what a precarious situation I'm in financially, and how a month of illness can wipe out all my security. I need more time to build.

BOOKS. I've read 10 books out 20, so I'm going pretty well. Started a new system of reviewing so that I feel like I'm actually taking in the things I'm reading. I've decided that next year I'll focus less on the amount of books, and I'll probably only be doing 12 books as goal.

I haven't started Bear's scrapbook because INSTEAD I made two scrapbooks for my mum's birthday. I'm still gonna work on Bear's scrapbook, though!

Bear's nature places is going well, and so is my walking. Recently, I'm walking 6,000 steps or more at least 4x a week, which is great. Bear is getting walked and we're visiting some neat places for him to go to during the weekend, even if it's just a man-made lake another suburb over.

The weekly lists is now my review posts, but I think those are still happening - I also have a media list in an app, and I love it! So this one is working out really well.

RIP, no driving yet.

I'm wanting to focus more on health, as opposed to weight. I've given up spicy food and am eating more home-cooked meals. I've also been fasting so I don't feel bloated, which seems to be working. I've been feeling really good for the past months, and I want to remain healthy and active, to read and write, to walk more and enjoy things. I really need to have a better relationship with my body instead of constantly abusing it and then hating it. That's its own post.

This is an interesting check in because I feel like my priorities have really shifted - I want to write more, and publish a story, but that gial isn't here at all. I'd replace Bear's scrapbook with that, mostly because I already completed two scrapbooks this year, but technically I 'm unlike to finish Bear's scrapbook even if I started it.

I'm caring less about weight and more about my health and how I feel, physically and mentally. Am I getting enough sleep? Am I eating well? I'll need to think about a way to measure this so i can see how successful I am, but weight loss is not the goal at this point.

Then there's the financial goals, which is a BIG thing I've been working on, but is no longer about a trip next year but just about feeling like I have emergency funds before I even think of saving for a trip.

I feel a lot better about these priorities, and I feel so disciplined lately, too. I'm 45 days into a 365 day journal! I'm 22 days of fasting! I'm about to hit 1k in savings! I feel so excited about what I'm doing, even if it wasn't what I had planned at the beginning of the year.

new year's goals 2024

I've started the year a week after everyone else because of Th Great Gastritis Attack 2023-2024, but I like goal setting and I like using tumblr as a place to do my journaling (sorry). You can tell this is an Official Post™ because I'm using capital letters.

GOALS:

Save for Japan - this one is a bit complicated because the plan is to go in 2025, but we don't have what month we're going or the set duration (10 days sounds good?). I didn't go too well on saving this year because I kept getting sick and having to use unpaid leave, so I'm behind on where I want to be financially. On the other hand, I've always been good at saving for something rather than saving for saving's sake. My goal at the moment is $9,000. I have a new job and I'm earning a little more, so I'm hoping this isn't outside of my capabilities. I have to take a look and adjust accordingly based on how everything looks after my first full pay at my new job (and how my health issues go). I've actually never been able to save $9,000 ever, but maybe it's possible if the 2025 trip is later on in the year (September?). TO BE FOLLOWED UP ON.

Read 20 books. Two more than last year, just to challenge myself.

Finish Bear's scrapbook.

Take Bear to more new nature places (doubles as a good way to go out without any spending + giving Bear more stimulation and fun times, especially as he's 9 years old this year.

Joanna and I split Bear's walks - I do 3x a week, she does 3x a week, and one joint walk.

I want to do free online courses as opposed to language learning. I don't feel cut out to learning a language, but I've always love learning new things. (I've actually started my first course already, so this one's off to a good start!)

(Not a goal, but I want to try doing a weekly list of articles I've read and podcasts and albums I've listened to - especially since my new job allows me to just listen to them all day. I think it would be so fun to look back on at the end of the year.)

Learn to drive. GAG. The goal is to drive to my parents' house and the grocery store. Both 10 minutes away. Small steps.

5kgs.

#weight /#body image /#money /#health /#chronic illness /#æ

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argumentl · 3 years ago

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The Freedom of Expression Ep 52 - Kami's avatar plan & Momotaro Dentetsu!? The aim behind the huge spread of conspiracy theories, and related Youtube videos.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome.

K: (To Tasai) You're wearing that.

T: I really like this, I wear it to all sorts of places.

K: Really?

T: Yes. Girls tell me I'm cool when I wear it, it made me feel kinda cocky. Haha

J: You should be!

K: When I saw this (on Tasai) I didn't realise what it was, I didn't remember it. Haha, like was this really ours?

T: When I first heard about this, I heard that Kaoru had made it with great detail, haha.

K: Well, speaking of Dir en grey, we've decided to release a new single.

*applause*

K: At this point it will be in Spring.

J: I see. I can't wait for it.

K: The song will be called 'Oboro'

J: How are you progressing with it?

K: Uh, at the moment we are just starting the mixing..we are at the start of February now.

J: So, like, you can see the finish line already?

K: Hm, well....yeh. We've all finished our parts.

J: Ah, I see. The members' performances are all over.

T: Uh, at the end of year announcement, the talk about the avatars, with Kaoru playing really high up, haha.

Kami: Um...um, are you gonna make a music video for it?

K: Eh?

Kami: You will make a music video, right?

J: Oh, a music video?

Kami: Yeah. Will you make it as an avatar video?

K: Well..we havn't really thought about it yet.

Kami: I am really interested in that, I really liked that idea.

J, T: Ehhh.

K: Thank you.

Kami: I kinda want you to make another one.

K: Oh, for the new song too?

Kami: Yeah, I really want you to make one for the new song.

T: Ah, but you said you havn't thought about that this time?

K: Not at this point, no.

Kami: Why don't you let me do it?

J: Haha

K: Eh? Let Kami make it?

J: Kami, do you have any talent for that type of thing?

Kami: Well, I mean, I reckon I could do it.

T: He reckons he could?

Kami: In my own godly way...I'd like to have a go.

J, T: Ohhh.

Kami: Thats right.

K: Will it work?

T: Haha

J: Yeh, because don't they usually do this type of thing in the workshop?

K: This is a brand new development, right?

T: Yeh, Im pretty surprised too.

Kami: I understand that, but I do think it would be good...like to have it reviewed in the workshop.

T: Ahh, like he wants to raise his reputation.

J: Yeh, but its quite ???*1. Kami, do you have confidence?

Kami:Yes, I do.

J, T: Ohh.

T: He's amazing.

J: Kaoru, he said he's confident?

Kami: Um, it might turn out kinda fun style though.

T: Fun style?

K: Fun style...we don't really have that image though.

J: Right.

K: Well...I'll have to ask the other members.

T, J: Yeh.

Kami: Kaoru, you are the leader, so there's no need to do that.

K: No no no. Its precisely because Im the leader that I have to ask.

J: Haha, yeh, just telling them out of the blue that the god from your own youtube channel will be making an avatar video..they would say thats not a leader!

Kami: No, but say something skillful.

K: Well, I'll just ask them.

T: I'm sorry to say this Kaoru, but I kinda wanna see this happen.

J: Really?!

Kami: A video produced by Kami..what do you think, Joe?

J: Well, it could be scary...

T: Haha.

J: Its not really about something incredible happening, its more like what is gonna come out of the limits of this god.

K: I personally don't have any problem with it, but as for Dir en grey, thats a group decision.

J: Well, yes.

K: It depends on that.

J: So, we'll hand the issue over to you for now to get the other members' approval.

K: Yeh.

Kami: Im being quite brave here, but I also have another request. I've had another idea.

J: You are being brash, aren't you?!

T: He is asking a lot today.

Kami: I thought it might liven up the show a bit.

J: Ahh, ok, go ahead...

Kami: Should we all play Momotaro Dentetsu together?

J, K, T: Momotetsu??

T: Ah, thats a good idea, I'm all for that!

Kami: Lets do it.

T: I really like Momotetsu..

K: Everyone's playing it recently, aren't they?

T: Yeah, its really popular at the moment.

J: I'm sorry, I reacted when he said the name..but I actually don't know what Momotetsu is...

T: Well, its a board game..

K: A board game style video game.

J: Oh right. What is 'tetsu'...like trains?

K: Yes.

T: Do you know Monopoly?

J: Yes, I know that.

T: Its like a train version of Monopoly.

J: Ahh, ok. Well, lets do it! Thats ok. How would we do it?

K: Well, we can think about that later.

J: Yes, ok..but that means its a posibility?

K: Will Kami play too?

Kami: Oh, yes! Thank you!

J: He sounds so happy, haha.

T: Kami, how will you join in with the game?

Kami:.....Yeh, how will I?

J: Yes, you tell us.

Kami:....how would I? I'd have to get some one to do it for me.

K, T: Haha

J: Like a representative of Kami?

Kami: Yeah.

T: Another person that we've never met will come, right? haha. Kami won't have met them, it will be a total stranger.

J: Dubious, right?

K: Ahh, but I havn't played Momotetsu in ages.

T: Ah, in the newest version you get stronger privileges, and its like you can make deliveries freely*2

J: So we are looking towards actually doing this, for now.

K: Well, yeah, its ok. We've got the start of two new plans.

J: Yep, one is a Kami produced avatar video for the new single.

K: Its not really 'produced by' though, more like 'made by'.

T: Making it on his own

J: Yeah, he's making it on his own for us.

K: Its more reassuring that way.

J: Haha, like, not in a collaboration?

K: I approve it of that.

Kami: Im making it on my own, but I don't have any money, so I want to get the money for it from you.

K: No, I can't do that.

J, T: Hahaha

J: He said he wanted to do it himself. He asked you if he could do it! If you want to do it yourself, you have to deal with the cost yourself.

K: This show has zero production cost anyway.

J: Haha, is that right? Thats tough.

T: We finally got a decent mic stand.

K: Yeah, but its kinda been reformed.

J: The mic stand fell over before didn't it?

K: ???*3

Kami: I don't have any money!

K: Well, it doesn't have to be that high quality.

J: Yeah.

K: He doesn't need a camera though.

J: No. So there are two conditions as for making an avatar vid: one is that Kaoru has to get the permission from the other members, and the other is that Kami has to cover the production costs himself.

*On screen note: Permission was gained from all members in the following days*)

T: Yeah. ????*4, like to show he's made it all himself.

K: Yeh, because if we paid for it, we'd have to approve the whole thing.

J: Oh, yeh, like an official check?

K: Yeah.

J: That would be a bit different. What do you think Kami?

Kami: If I make it, can I sell it?

T: Haha, 'If I make it can I sell it'??

K: No, you cannot. That is that is the biggest rule.

Kami: Oh, please let me sell it!!!

K: That totally depends on how good it is.

J: Right, you might allow it if it was outstanding.

T: Haha

K: Ok, Joe, lets look at today's topic.

J: Yes, 'A monthly income of ¥1million. Chaging tune during game commentary. What is the aim of the massive spread of conspiracy theories, and related Youtube videos?' Well, there is a lot of news surrounding the American Presidential election last year, but a huge amount of conspiracy theories and fake information is spreading even amongst Trump supporters in Japan. Within this are big ones like, 'Trump will unleash martial law, and mass arrests of traitors will begin', 'Nancy Pelosi has been arrested', etc etc. There are even theories that are circulating only in Japan, and which are spreading through Youtube videos and round up sites. Within those, there is one user who brings up such material in the middle of game commentary videos, and can make up to ¥1million per month. The posibility that they are doing it for the advertising revenue cannot be denied. Well, its like, is it ok to spread lies in return for money?... this news questions the 'freedom of expression'.

K: Well, conspiracy theories have been around for ages, havn't they?

J: They always have, yes.

K: But since covid started...there have been...like, a load of theories coming up about it, right?

J: Yeah.

K: I kinda get the sense that a lot of conspiracy theories about covid have grown to be seen as almost the truth.

T, J: I see.

K: You don't even know whats a conspiracy theory or whats real news now.

J: Well, yeah. In relation to covid, I also don't know what is actually correct. In some sense, there are certain voices that are louder than others, and if you mix in these conspiracy theories, you get this kind of....well, like with these protests in relation to the American election, or even without that, these theories do spread.

K: You kind of watch them in a funny sense to start, but then it feels like they gradually loose power.

J, T: Yeh.

K: There are people who will end up believing them though.

Kami: Um, that game commentator who is talking about conspiracy theories in order to make a profit, I don't like that. I want him to try harder, like, don't be influenced by money.

T: No no no. Kami has been talking about money a lot, haha

J: Yeh, like, 'Can I sell it?' He's only telling other people not to be influenced by money.

Kami: Yeah, gods are influenced by money...gods are. I kinda understand how this guy feels. I can't help it.

J: You can't help it?

Kami: Yep.

J: You can't help it for money?

Kami: Yeah, I take it back, its ok to be influenced by money.

J, K, T: Hahaha

J: Kami, you're weak!

T: That was a quick turnaround.

J: I was pretty shocked that this guy can make ¥1million per month though.

K: Well, if his view count grows...

J: Yeah.

K: Those numbers would be impossible for this show.

J: Haha, yeah, everyone please help us out with that. Even if we aimed to make ¥1million, conspiracy theories take up a lot of time, right?

T: Yeh, but how about we feature some conspiracy theories?

J: If we will get like this guy, right?

Kami: Ah, lets go with some conspiracy theories!

J, T: Haha

K: There are probably people out there really putting thought into making new conspiracy theories, aren't there?

J, T: Yeah.

K: It sounds pretty difficult. Like, what type of conspiracies would fly?

J, T: Right.

J: ???*5

K: Like Kami's?

J: Kami's conspiracy theories, haha. But it is difficult. Hm, eventually we'll have a 'Freedom of Expression conspiracy theories edition'.

T: Well, lets do more of this kind of stuff.

J: Tokyo Sports loves this kind of thing, doesn't it?

T: Yeah.

J: Do your sales go up when you feature this stuff?

T: Well, not really with conspiracy theories, but we sell at lot when we write about UFOs and stuff. People are really curious about things that are 'unknown'. They really are.

J: Hm.

K: Ok, on that note, lets finish here. Thank you very much.

*1,3,4,5 Couldn't catch/figure out

*2 I've never played Momotetsu so Im not sure if im understanding the explanation right.

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

Text

Star Vs: Total Eclipsa the Moon and Butterfly Trap (Tomtrsopective Interlude)

Hello you beautiful people, and welcome back to the tomtrospective... minus Tom, since as i’ve mentioned a LOT in recent parts of this tribute to eveyrone’s faviorite demon voiced by shawn from boy meets world, realized I hadn’t mentioned that in a while, I”m also covering the metora arc from the second half of season 3, as Tom plays a pretty sizeable roll in it’s climax , the season 3 two part finale Divide and Conquer, and if i’m going to cover what’s essentially an hour long episode i’m going to do it right. It’s why i’m also doing the della arc alongside the Lena arc next month, the latter of which is fully paid for: because Shadow War pays that off too. Even if it makes way more work for me, if i’m going to review something, i’m gonna do it right. So we come to this pair of episodes. First question a lot of you might be having...

To which I say.. I ? We’ll see. The second is that “Why aren’t you covering the bog beast of boggabah?”. Well.. honestly it’s for time constraints. I have a LOT of episodes to cover, my own fault I know but again if you do a job you do it right, and cutting the one that while part of the plot isn’t nearly as essential to anything and ultimately only sticks for one episode character development wise. It’s not bad, almost nothing with Alan Tudyk in it is bad. That’s a fact, that’s a Disney fact.

Point is while I like covering EVERYTHING I can, I do have to draw a line and since this retrospective is about TOM, i’d rather not pile on more episodes that don’t involve him than absolutley necessary. Bog Beast just dosen’t feel NEARLY as much of a necessary detour as these two coming up or Skooled and Tough Love down the line. So with all that out of the way, join me under the cut for a discussion of Eclipsa’s character up to these episodes and the episodes themselves.

Our detour DOES take us right into my OTHER faviorite character in the series, tied with tom and the other character that makes watching the series post battle of mewni, worthwhile: Eclipsa. We’ve mentioned her before obviously but this is the first episode she actually shows up in that i’m covered, and i’m delighted to finally tackle her head on. And the other faviorite thing isn’t an exageration: She’s equal to tom in my heart. She’s just as compelling, just as well acted, and unlike Tom actually gets a decent resolution to her character arc. In fact she’s one of the ONLY characters to get a decent resolution. It’s also at this point her character undergoes a shift. While she dosen’t change as a person that much, before this it was left purposfully vauge if Eclipsa was really.. evil, and possibly the big bad of the season. On the one hand her magic is unquestionably dark and evil even if she isn’t, and while Star wasn’t at all effected by her chapter, Marco went all

For a second before Glossaryck fixed it off screen, and using her “Darkest Spell” left both her and moon with blackened goop on their arms for the rest of their lives. Not only that but she pushed Star into morally dubious actions: Teling her Marco could be her squire simply because she said so, and being the one that encouraged her to explore her butterfly form.

But we also saw her GENUINELY bond with Star, the two relating both on seeing monsters as people, and dating them, and on being reckless, powerful and often looked down upon by Moon for unfair reasons. Something I hadn’t realized but shoudl’ve before this is, for Season 3 at least.. Eclipsa is the mentor star never properly had. Glossaryck, while he did do a decent job from time to time, is just too damn neutral to be a proper mentor, not really carring what happens to mewni or if he even lives or dies, a neglectful attitude that honestly caused a good chunk of Mewni’s problems, never remotely trying to invervene in his protege Solaria’s genocidal campaign against monsters, his children’s growing fantatical racisim, or well.. anything. He just dosen’t care. Moon TRIED to be one, and can be a good mother on occasion.. but the two are exact opposites: Moon is controlled in every aspect of her life and compartmentalizes and structures everything, while Star is pure chaos and impulse. It’s why River has an easier time parenting her, as she got a LOT more of his personality than her mothers, and thus can actually relate to her. Bog Beast shows this off well: He teaches her a lesson Moon probably has tried to a thousand times, to be patient.. but does so on her level with an old family ritual and using a metaphor, rather than trying to drill it into her head. It’s why when he did actually teach her Glossayrck used the same: Star is just not a traditional learner, moon is. And there in lies the problem.. Moon just cannot accept for most of the series that her daughter isn’t like her despite her best efforts or try to see it on her level, and Star dosen’t really try to see it from Moon’s perspective either, though being you know the Child and not the parent, it’s a bit more understandable. Moon has a real hard time seeing other people’s perspectives, and really changing.. and given Star has gone from being a proud racist to realising how horrible her attiude to monsters were in under a year, really is why the two clash so much. It’s something I sadly relate to: While my own dad is not racist, he is a staunch republican, is one of those morons who belives the “Well if trans people can use the bathroom they want then rapists will put on women’s clothing just to enter a bathroom!” bullshit fully, and while he supports gay people myself included did NOT support gay marraige and when I was a teen would often say “Wellt hat’s as valid as me marrying bob” Bob.. is my dad’s cat who hates me for understandable reasons as I was not great with cats when he got him. So yeah I get your parent being an impenetrable brick wall on important issues.

The point is Eclipsa...actually listens to star, agrees to her views and instead of trying to FORCE star to go the way she wants simply guides her, giving her advice and being gentle with her. The two are similar enough that Eclipsa’s advice, good or bad, tends to stick, and that Eclipsa actually cares what Star thinks which Moon does not. But it was hard to gage if she GENUINELY cared or was just playing star. But these episodes shred that ambiguity to pieces, showing that while eclipsa is not without faults.. she’s not evil... and the people who called her that very much ARE. So without further adeu....

Total Eclipsa The Moon:

In the previous episode, Star burst into Moon’s room giving her the revelations of the night. Moon.. did not take it well, both unaware and furious her daughter had a party at the monster temple, refusing to believe her and taking umbrage at Star’s VERY understandable accusation that she sent Rhombulus after them, since he had her royal guards with him, levitating her daughter out of the office.

But what is suprising is that, as this episode opens after brooding a bit and TRYING to get back to work.. Moon clealry can’t get the idea out of her head. You can see the wheels turning: Sure star is impulsive and did falsely accuse her.. but she’s not a liar. While Star hides stuff on occasion.. when she lost the book she came right to her parents to confess, something Moon genuinely appricated. Why would she TRANSPARENTLY make something up? While the trial is close, Star would at least, if sloppily and ucnovncingly try and fake evidence if that was her goal. And while the party isn’t something Moon is happy about it is VERY suspcious Rhombulus didn’t tell her about police action on her terriotry using her own guards involving her daughter, several monsters, and the heirs to every kingdom in the land. So she takes the Royal Lineage book and goes to see Eclipsa.. who made a guitar out of bones because she’s awesome and that’s what you do when you have a lot of itme on your hands and nothing else to do.

She’s casual with Moon, who just assumes she’ll get the answer she wants l, asks her to identify her daughter.. though Eclipsa is taken aback by this. She’s willing to.. she just hasn’t seen her face in thosands of years let alone as a grown woman and assumes she’s dead by now. It’s a very good, very small moment.. and it’s made more striking both by what we learned last episode.. and the fact she has no idea who Festivia is, and knows who her one and only Daughter was: Meteora. And while Moon does bring up that her name just could’ve been changed... Eclipsa shoots that down.. Meteora had clover cheeks and “The cutest little tail”. Moon asks how this even makes sense and Eclipsa’s response is absolutely wonderful “When a queen and a monster love each other very much...”. Before we can get to the sexy details Moon then clarifies that she’s confused how she didn’t know about this and wants answers, though she still keeps Metora still being alive a secret for now.. but it’s understndable as Moon still dosen’t trust Eclipsa, and dosen’t want to risk her trying to escape to find her right before the trial. Eclipsa tells her there is one place they could get a solid answer, the archives, which are in the commission building, though Moon apparently doesn’t have access..despite being queen. You think she would’ve questioned that by now given the name.

But Moon plans to go, and refuses to take Eclipsa along.. but is swayed when Eclipsa genuinely not only accepts it.. but sadly and without any hint of manipultion and with pure honesty asks her to tell her what happened to her daughter. And for the first time... Moon sees Eclipsa as not the boogeyman history wrote her as.. but just another mother desperatley looking for her child and finding out history covered her up and she may never know what happened to her. So we next cut to the magical high comission building, where we see Shawn, the security guard, deer man and bumbling doofus, who ends up not scanning moon when the magic detector, basicallyu a metal detctor, goes read because she terrifies him out of it. And yeah.. good point she is on the comission he really shoudn’t have to do that. Though I like the sublte hints with this and the archives that the comission have slowly creeped up in thier authority: while the queen is still granted a seat at the table.. she’s not given ALL the toys in the box despite that not really being fair given how much sway the comission has in mewni politics. But naturally Moon has snuck eclipsa in and even more naturally is nearly having a panic attack over breaking the rules. But she dosen’t have time for that and asks Eclipsa where the archives are.

She’s not tricking moon or anything though: It’s been thousands of years and the comission building has changed vastly, when she was around the archives were just a stone hut off to the side. That gives Moon an idea and they find a stone wall in the storage room, which Eclipsa activates in her own weird and endearing way. This also shows off the one trait that seperates Eclipsa from star: Star usually just does random things because. While Eclipsa isn’t IMUNE to this usually when she does something weird it’s specifically to acomplish something, she’s just using her own unique methods. LIke here she rubs her back against the stones and what not.. ut it gets the door open. Unfortuntely our heroines then run into Shawn who being a natural narc, runs off ot tattle before Moon cuts him off. Eclipsa insists they zap his memory and only hasn’t for a crucial reason: she can’t do magic without a wand. It’s an intresting and understandable reveal: like star she just relied on the wand for it and never learned how to do her spells without it as she never really needed to.. and even now she dosen’t. While her magic COULD help her escape.. she has no intrest in escaping since it’d only hurt star and even a sham trial will still make her a martyr for mosnter kind and prove Star’s point she’s not a bad person. Even if she looses she wins. So she simply had no reason to relearn it and likely figured correctly doing so might just rouse further suspicon or get her locked in chains or other nonsense and given she can, if unbenownst to moon, wander the castle freely via the secret passages.. she’s really not bothered by house arrest. Moon of course dosen’t want to.. but in a great gag ends up doing so by mockingly saying “Memory eraser gun” and making a gun gesture with her hand.. and ends up actually doing that as a result. They put the comotose magic outside. And this scene is a great character bit to me for both characters: It shows off a bit flaw for each character: For moon it’s that she lacks the ablity to improvise. She can and has created magic but is so orderly and regimented it has to be percise and she dosen’t grasp just HOW easily a spell can be created simply by imagining it. She lacks the pure raw creativity and talent of her daughter and supposed ancestor.... but makes up for it in what she calls eclipsa out on: restraint. While Moon has ENTIRELY too much, serioulsy the stick is so far up her ass she can see it when she talks, it’s not itself a bad thing, and using it recklessly and irresponsibly, as the suplmental big boook of spells shows, without thought or without proper preperation can have devistating consequences. Skywinn, one of the past queens and the first in the book, destroyed an entire dimension simply by letting loose far too much, while Rhina, Moon’s great great grandmother, acccidently kileld her abusive husband because her heartbreak spell was a bit too literal. Power is fine and all. but you have to control it. It’s why Xavier’s School Existed before he decided to take all the kids to an island because humanity suck so much: you need to learn to use your pwoer responsibly and eclipsa never did. She can contorl it perfectly as we’ll see.. but she also dosen’t think of the implications of what she does with it, she just does and to hell with the consequences. And that’s really her whole problem: She acts mostly on impulse without thinking, and it’s had bad consequences.. though ironically her fleeing with Globgor, as said book wonderfuly outlined.. was NOT a rash or impulse decision but a VERY hard one where she was stuck between keeping the crown and pleasing eveyrone.. or fleeing with her lover, being happy and taking care of a serious threat to the kingdom as a whole WITH him, but knowing it might not end well.. and sadly it did not. Eclipsa does show her skill though once agian, having made up a silly song to rmemeber where to go and since the archives haven’t been touched and are about the same, easily leads them in. Though once they reach the door they can’t open it, but Eclipsa has a solution: A rat hole. “It’s so gross in here” she says delighted. Moon isn’t happy about it but agrees to it.. but her ass gets stuck.. and that’s not me being crude or making a joke her ass literally gets stuck and Eclipsa has to go for help but takes an hour, long enough for a spider to hypnotize moon and steal her crown and for moon to question trusting her.. before Eclipsa returns. And this is what cements what I was getting at: Before there was clear ambiguity in “Is eclipsa the villian or not”. Here.. it’s gone. She has shady powers and her morals are flexable.. but she’s still a kind, loveably weird woman and it’s obvious by this point her reputation as evil was horribly exagerated, and primarily brought on by racisim. And moon’s realizing it too. They find the archives, which is a cool concept: magitek hands that record everything that happens to a royal, even showing some of what’s going on right then in the other plot. Moon quips that this actually really would’ve helped with the trial, but apologizes for it showing that she’s slowly realized what Star knew from minute one and what I just mentioned: Eclipsa is not a bad person. She’s flawed, but she’s not evil or some nightmarish destroyer of worlds.. she’s just a batty 40-50 something woman who dosne’t think through her actions.

Eclipsa does explain it probably wouldn’t of done moon good, as it’s near impossible to find anything unless you know where to look.. which makes perfect sense. The scroll records every queen’s every actoin every minute of every day. Even summarized that’s like trying to sift through footage of eveyr minute of your life. Even sped up, it’d take weeks or months or even years to find something without knowing where exactly to look. Thankfully Eclipsa does.. but finds the Scroll has been offered as the “Daughter of queen eclipsa nd king shatacan” is sewn in there as festivia.. literally.. like part of the scroll was ripped out. And as close friend, endless resource and tom expert bar none @jess-the-vampire pointed out to me when I asked for her imput on these ones, that makes no sense as the two never had a daugther and I feel they just didn’t think that through. Plot hole aside.. it’s VERY clear someone has tampred with the archives and if Moon wasn’t already questinoing if Eclipsa was really bad this clinches it: Someone ERASED one of her family from history and hid the truth even from them. And Moon’s going ot get answers.. after our heroes run from the security system, get the crown back and BARELY escape with the scroll before the comission catches them.

Back at the castle Eclipsa is disgraught over her daughter and Moon clinches their new bond by revealing she might still be alive... Moon might not KNOW if Star was telling or even knew the whole truth.. but she knwos something is going on and she’s going to find out. And whiel she may not know everything.. she has a damn good idea who did this.. .and says so just as star comes in from her adventure, having learned patience. Cue the credits. Final Thoughts: This was a fun one, with Moon and Eclipsa having a delightful odd couple dynamic, the regminted overly serious and overly stuffy moon with the wild and reckless and charmingly weird eclipsa is just a great dynamic and endlessly entertaining and I wish the show had done more with it before what’s about to happen but what we got was great and minor plot hole mentioned aside, the reveal only deepens the intrigue for what’s next.. so speaking of which...

Butterfly Trap: Here. We. Go. One of the series best episodes, if not it’s BEST. Oh me mow i’m excited.

We open with the long set up trial of Eclipsa Butterfly.. and as you’d expect by a trial by a jury of her enimies, the comission mostly sees this as a formality outside of Moon. Sean is excited though, he gets to bring out the typey thingy. Usually Rhombluus just crystalises them.

Yeahhh... the show never properly deals with Rhombulus’ tendency to imprison first ask questions never or gets any of his victims, i.e. the ones he probably had less reason to crystal up not ones who were eating universes or whatever , free. But this is the LEAST of the dropped threads from this one. Point is this isn’t a remotely fair trial.. as hammermed in by the fact Hekapoo is upset and confused that Star is here too. Moon wants her to see eclipsa got a fair trial. Also Rhomblus wants her DEAD, but the others shot him down on this. HIs reasoning , for him, is suprisingly good: crystalising her didn’t work last time and implicilty given star likes her star could just order her freed when she’s queen. But I get their reasoning: Killing her would only make her a martyr to monsterkind, and to Star who probably woudln’t listen to or respect them EVER again. And Moon still wanted that when she started the trial. So while clearly a sham this does crystalize, pun unitended, how corrupt the comissoin is. Their holding a trial with no jury, no witnesses, not that most are alive but some are, and with everyone CLEARLY thinking she’s guilty before it starts... and no one questioned it. This is even unusual as they rarely have an actual trial. And it’s about to be revealed to be a WHOLE lot worse.

So the trial begins and Moon brings out the evidence, which is oddly disorganized given how much work she was putting in before, and ismostly secondhand accounts and interviews and their going to have to just sit there and sort through it all, which NONE OF THEM, especially rhomblus are happy about “THIS SOUNDS LIKE MATH!”

But Eclipsa has a simplier, if much more risky suggestion: Trial by Box. While Moon points out this isn’t great for her as the box is merciless and will not take lies, but Eclipsa counters rightly that she has nothing to hide. ANd honestly again given the commission are clearly out for her blood.. this is the only way she gets anything resembling a fair trial. Resembling being the key word. This is the most clearly rigged trial i’ve seen since that time Batman’s villians kidnapped him and put him on trial with joker as the judge.. good episode though.. and THAT was even a more fair trial as they actually gave him a lawyer and let him go when she made a convincing enough case.

So the box is brought out, and it turns out to be the truth or punishment cube from season 2. Which Moon insists isn’t a party game.. despite the fact a bunch of teenage girls easily got one and it has a setting for that when moon grabs it. Along with, in a really great bit, settings for Bachelorette (All right ladies!) and Intervention. Know someone who could use that honestly.

So the Comission ask their questions. We start with Rhombluus who asks if she wrote the “Evil Chapter” in the book of spells. Eclipsa dosen’t deny it but ponits out THEY labeled it that, Star rightly points out none of htem have actually read it moon included, and Eclipsa.. shoves her foot in her mouth by pointing out she’s made FAR WORSE spells that didnt make the cut. “Writing is rewriting you know”. Love this woman.

So next up is Hekapoo who asks if she abandoned her husband to run off with Globgor. Well they dont’ use his name because end of season plot twist but still. Eclipsa not only firmly doesen’t deny it but fondly caressses the projection of him “Hello sweetie”. Hekapoo marks her down with evil for this which... Jeff if you would?

Thank you. Not only is this racist bs that star perfectly destroyed earlier in the season, as the comission themselves are monsters in all but category, but the spellbook makes this so much worse. As I said for once Eclipsa .. wasn’t being impulsive. She was torn between duty and love and choose love, and even then partially did so to prevent the septarians from wiping out both the rest of monster kind AND mewmans. And Shastacan, was a massive dick, who took her not being in love with him like he was with her as a sign to throw her monster child away as we’’ll see and rightfully got eaten for it. I know this is all obvious stuff but it’s hard not to yell about it. Next it Rhombluus.. who asks if she ate those babies. Again that was Bubipsa as Hekapoo understandably yells at him for but no backsies, and she sgets another evil mark on H-Poo’s good or evil tally because she’s that bitch. Finally Moon asks if she’s sorry for what she’s done.. and given the most they genuinely have are that she wrote spells that while dark and evil, were not only not the worst she could do but were clearly not used on any innocents, had an interracial marraige, and did not eat babies.. yeah, she’s not. So the comissoin prepare to cast judgement on the woman whose only “crime” is interacial dating, in a sham trial.

Thankfully.. Eclipsa turns the tables. Before they can hastily refreeze her... Eclipsa points out she has a question.. and Moon points out as a former queen of mewni she’s entitled to a comission seat and thus TECHNICALLY a member. A loose rule and one you’d think Moon wouldn’t enforce.. but she does, a large hint at something i’ll get to in a moment as the reveal’s just too good to spend already. Naturally she has but one question for them:

No, obviously it’s “What did you do with my daughter”. Even more obviously they deny it.. but as we saw last time the cube came out, even lying to YOURSELF isn’t something the cube accepts so outright lying to save your fucking hides is even worse and it begins to crush them all. And after spending most of the runtime putting up with their racist and clearly biaserd bollocks it’s SO fucking cathartic to see them desperatly scramble and fail to avoid the box, with Hekapoo screaming “We didn’t do anything!”.

Eventually Star calls them out on it pointing out they enforce the rules for everyone ELSE, and Hekapoo in paticular called Star and Moon on keeping the book being stolen a secret and Marco on Star’s butterfly form fiasco, so yeah, their glass house is in shards.. and Rhombluus FINNALLY ends this charade and confesses. Hekapoo naturally is mad at him for this.. despite the fact that if he hadn’t they’d all be dead and none of this would matter.

Also Eclipsa is just badass during the entire sequence. While Moon and Star are panicking and the comission are covering for themselves, though the former two are probably doing it more just to keep up appearances but we’ll get to that in just a moment. Eclipsa, SHe just has this expression the whole time, as I put at the top for good reason.

Just a look of pure SCORN, of a mother’s rage at having her daughter hidden from her and wiped from history, of having her husband imprisoned for rightfully getting vengance for it, for having HERSELF imiprosned and made out to be some kind of ghoul for the crime of marrying who she loved and saving her damn kingdom. She’s politely put up with this shit for as long as she had to to get to this moment.. but now as her tormentors despretly try to avoid the consequences of their actions and the truth.. she can only look on with pure, justified hatred at EVEYRTHING they’ve done and just how cowardly it is they refuse to admit it.

So with the pepretraotrs in the cover up explosed, Rhomblus explains he was tired of lying. This COULD have been a good turn for the character, showing he had some remorse and have him get a redepmption arc... any of them could’ve.. but instead thier just 2 dimensonal asssholes after this because “racists be like that’ which they do, but it dosen’t mena you couldn’t of used them as big bads for the final season instead of wasting them. But yeah back on point Rhombluus prods omni to tell them via his projection thing and he does: After Eclipsa was imprisoned, Shastacan got rid of meteora, and we of course know where she went and soon we’ll find out just what happened to her there, but more ont hat another time, and the comission covered things up by taking a pesant girl, though unlike the graphic above we later found out she was left behind by her family and taken in by the comission, who are shown to also have raised her by the book of spells. They gave her the wand, putting magic in her veins.. how ..

Look me and Jess discussed this: magic being given by the wand is terribly inconsistent and while I might go into it in a seperate article some other day, now is not the time or place for it.

It is however the time and place for the reveal as Moon’s reaction to all of this? “We suspected as much”

Yup, as our heroines explain and Shawn freaks the fuck out in one of the series best gags, and mirrors the audience’s reactions, we find out this was all a setup: and as I alluded too one cleverly set up the whole episode, pun unintended: Moon is suddenly dour and ready to to through with the trial despite last episodes revelations, she brings in evidence that’s entirely unsorted despite being a control freak who was previously working on gathering and sorting said evidence, and she backs up eclipsa despite it clearly givng her an advantage. All little hints that something wasn’t right there. Whlie Hekapoo, being again that bitch, is naturally furious, Moon is undaunted and explains why they did this.. and Star was in on it too, which shows that even if her patience lesson from bog beast dosen’t stick entirely, sigh, it does stick for this one episode as she not only waited through this sham trial.. but played her part well, arguging with moon at times to make it seem like nothing had changed. Everything was a careful and constructed plan to get the commission into a position where they COULDN’T lie. Even if Rhombulus hadn’t cracked one of them might of when theyw ere close and while it was a huge risk they all knew going in... it paid off. The truth is laid bare. If only Lekmet’s bi ass were here .. so he could aslo get raked over teh coals for htis. Also yes bi, he had the bi flag colors on the flowers on ihs portrait they left where his seat used to be.

So with the cards all on the table, the Cube passes judgment; Eclipsa is guilty.. but so are her judges minus Moon, so he tells them to think about that, which they do, while he leaves so they can sort out their issues. Star reads the assholes the riot act.. until she stumbles on realizing something: Eclipsa, her supportive, loving, and wonderful grandma whose actually like her.. isn’t her grandma. Eclipsa responds with an “I’m sorry sweetie’ making two things clear by her tone: She’s just as devistated by this reveal as star, she just has more pressing things in her head right now, and that even if their not bound by blood.. sh’es still star’s grandma and always will be. What hits harder is the realization sh’es not a princess and her life is a lie. Granted she is TECHNICALLY a princess , since her dad is still a king by blood and could take the johnason throne if he wanted, but tha’ts being pednatinc: the real point is that the legacy that put so much pressure on her all her life is a lie, and she isn’t who she thought she was. “We’re nothing mom, we’re nothing. “

So star runs off as both of her moms try and comfort her. And as we close out this episode god damn is Eden Sher good in this. Just her acting in this scene is so damn heartbreaking and powerful, going from indignant and calling out the cocmisison.. to heartbreaking, slowly and quitely falling apart as she realizes what happened. So what’s this anguish star’s going through amount to?

Oh sure the ending of season 3 wouldn’t happen without this reveal.. but Star being devistated by it goes NOWHERE. There’s no character arc of her dealing with the fact she’s no longer a princess or once she gives teh wand to eclipsa, even heir to the throne probably. No angst, no deep reflection not even an offhand joke. We find out who the commoners Festivia descended from were.. but that’s IT. Star just kinda ignores this like her confession to marco last season only that at least got a payoff. I will bitch about that payoff soon but it’s you know A PAYOFF. This is a WASTE of an utterly amazing plot twist, one that turns the show on it’s head and star’s entire rebelious princess character around. because they just didn’t care to actually let her change as a character after this season. She learns nothing from this point, dosen’t really grow, and ends in a really terrible and ghastly place. This episodes excellent and while it’s after effects would be felt.. it left SO much more on the table they never bothered to pick up and use.

Final Thoughts: As I said full of wasted potetinal.. but one of the series best episodes still. Hampered a bit by said waste of potetial but on it’s own it’s gripping, has a well set up swereve, and some great acting and animation all around.

So that does it for this review: Next Time: Star and Tom’s relationship progresses as Tom is forced to see what his privlage has insulated him from, while it then hits a massive road block as we get.. to Booth Buddies. And yes i’m doing Skooled second, Booth Buddies is TECHNICALLY seasonly approraite for valentine’s way.. just like herpes. Until then follow this blog for more reviews, my comissions are open shoot me an ask for details and until the next rainbow, it’s been a pleasure.

#star vs the forces of evil #star butterfly #eclipsa butterfly #moon butterfly #hekapoo #rhombulus #omnitraxus prime #sean #river butterfly #king shastaca #meteora butterfly #butterfly trap #total eclipsa the moon #disney #animation

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xyzcekaden · 3 years ago

Text

🚍 unsuspecting sunday afternoon 🚍

by me, xyzcekaden! a pokemon fanfic about when the one you hate to love is made for you

How capable is the human heart now?

fandom: pokemon, gen 3, advanced generation characters: ash, may, steven stone in a “supporting” role ship: advanceshipping genre: romance, angst themes: friendship, pre-relationship, slowburn, 6+1 if you squint setting: modern, hoenn, pokemon universe lite word count: 4.6k rating: T

read it below, on ffnet, or on ao3!

A/N (9.7.201): So this has been in my drafts since about April 2020 😅 Sure, I'm happy to finally share something new with the small yet strong advanceshipping fandom; but more than that, I'm relieved this document can no longer taunt me with its incompletion, hahaha. Do let me know what you think! Especially with this opening formatting; I'm trying something new. :)

Nothing sensitive in the fic, but the characters are all adults so it felt fitting to rate it T. Title taken from the song of the same name by the Backstreet Boys, and its lyrics/sentiments are interwoven throughout. The narrative is inspired and framed by monstaxnight's anonymous ask. If you recognise it, it doesn't belong to me. Thanks for reading!

~~~

fall for someone whose body would start fires

On a Saturday, May asked Ash to come over the next day. “I need a second opinion on something,” she had said. “It’ll be super quick.”

Of course, ‘super quick’ means Ash has enough time to set his switch up on May’s gigantic living room tv and play a few rounds of his favourite fighting video game while she gets ready for something or another in her room. He always acts like he has better things to do than help her with her sundry weekly ventures, but they both know he’d rather do ‘nothing’ with her than ‘something’ on his own somewhere else.

“Okay, Ash, are you ready?” May’s voice rings out. “Yeah,” he answers distractedly, strategically button smashing.

“So I kept the jeans from this last outfit, but this top I just got two weekends ago and haven’t had a chance to wear yet,” May narrates as she exits her room. “I had the, frankly, brilliant idea of using the jacket from Outfit 1 and pairing it with those heels you paid for for my birthday, et voila!”

The clacking of heels stops at the entrance of the hallway. “What do you think?’

Ash redirects his attention to May. His avatar dies on screen, just like his voice dies in his throat.

“You, um, you look great.”

In actuality, May looks smoking hot, but that’s not new for either of them. His best friend is supremely attractive, and he knew it and had no problem acknowledging it normally. This time, however, May doesn’t just look physically great, she also looks like she feels like she looks great. He doesn’t know how much sense that makes; but there is decidedly something different, and Ash feels a strange sense of dread in his chest.

May beams, taking the inarticulate response in stride. “Well that’s a winning endorsement if I ever heard one! Now let’s just hope Steven has as great of a reaction.” She turns to one of the many full-length mirrors stationed around her condo and reviews the outfit with a critical eye.

This brings Ash out from his stupor. “‘Steven’?” he repeats as he sits up on the couch. “You’re going on a date?”

“It’s not a date,” May replies in a tone that clearly conveys that she would not be opposed to it turning into a date. “My dad is having dinner with an old business partner, and the guy’s bringing his son along, so me and Max were invited, too. We were kinda friends back when we were young, but it’s not like we’ve kept in touch or anything. I just figured I should make a good second first-impression… You know, for my dad’s sake.”

Ash can tell the last bit was just something she’s telling herself to rationalise why she’s trying so hard, and it doesn’t sit right with him. He slinks back down on the couch dejectedly and halfheartedly starts a new game.

He finds himself wondering how often they hung out and how much whatever-that-number-was-teenth impressions were worth. He hopes it’s a lot.

~~~

fall for someone who always runs from his kiss

“… And I was right! They were roommates!” May boisterously ends her story, almost losing her ice cream to physics as she wildly gesticulates.

They’re just strolling around the park that’s honestly nowhere near either of their apartments; but over the years, it became their park anyway. They didn’t even set plans to hang out today, but it kinda just happened―a recurring theme in their friendship, admittedly.

For his part, Ash hides a smirk with a lick to his own ice cream, not bothering to say or do anything to protect her treat. If she hasn’t learned by now, she never would. “Oh my god, they were roommates,” he deadpans instead.

May sends him an unimpressed smirk and lightly smacks Ash’s shoulder. He yelps. She yanks her hand back as soon as she realises, but the damage is done.

He blinks down at the cold, vanilla, rainbow-sprinkled stain before raising his gaze to meet May’s equally stunned one.

They stare in silence for a moment, then May cracks a conciliatory grin. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry?”

He shrugs it off easily. “I probably deserved it,” he says, making peace with the knowledge that his previous unwillingness to protect her ice cream from any accidents is the undoubted origin for his current poor luck. He nods toward the path. “Shall we?”

“We passed by a restroom a little bit ago. We can clean you up,” May disagrees, tugging on his arm in the opposite direction.

“‘S fine,” he argues as he tries to continue walking forward.

“Ash, it’ll stain!” She tugs harder.

“It’ll be an improvement!” He’s overpowering her, but not as easily as he’d like.

“Why are you being such a butthead about this!?” She’s pulling with all her strength now, this being a matter of pride to her at this point.

“Come on, May!” Ash heaves one last time.

They tumble head over feet onto the ground, but that’s not the reason Ash feels like his world has turned upside down.

May’s body weighs comfortably on his, his hands naturally settle on her waist with hers on his chest, and his brown eyes bore into her blues. Their ice cream has fallen… somewhere, but Ash doesn’t concern himself with that considering this is the closest they’ve been since they first met.

They’ve been toeing this line since then, too.

I’m gonna do it, he thinks to himself.

He closes his eyes.

He leans in.

May scrambles away.

Ash sits up and blinks at the sight of May’s confused, furious eyes. “Ash, what are you doing?” Her voice croaks like her throat is dry. It makes him clear his own before dumbly responding, “I was trying to kiss you.”

“Why??” she asks, her voice strangled. He pushes himself off the ground warily as he watches her hold herself, bite her lip, shake her head in a panic; and somehow in all of that, he understands.

“I thought it wasn’t a date.” Ash tries so hard not to sound accusatory, but her wince in response proves it didn’t work. It also proves his fear correct.

He turns, hiding as if the people walking by could discern his transgression and shame by the sight of his face alone. Besides, his mind can conjure up an image of her running away just fine on its own.

Ash notices the remnants of their impromptu outing splattered on the ground near his feet. He picks up what he can and stomps over to the nearest trash bin, throwing it in as hard as he can to let out some of his frustration.

He hopes he hasn’t gone and screwed everything up.

~~~

fall for someone whose lips belong to someone else

They don’t talk about it, and then it’s too late.

“Ash, this is Steven,” she tells him softly, as if it could make up for how it feels like the sight of her arms wrapped around the guy’s torso and his arm casually thrown over her shoulder assaults him every time he blinks.

“Steven Stone. It’s great to finally meet you. May speaks of you highly,” Steven introduces with a dignified air. Not pompous, no; he is just someone who was raised being told that he was going to do important things and who happened to believe it.

They shake hands, and Ash’s fingers feel cold, a marked contrast to how there’s something in his chest that’s burning.

Inside the restaurant, the waitress asks if a table is okay, and no one asks for a booth instead. In his seat, Ash is neither directly in between nor directly across from the newly-established couple, and he wonders if this is where all his luck went into.

Lunch goes better than expected.

Ash was prepared to hate the guy, but what is there to hate? Steven has a decent sense of humour, loves pokemon but loves rocks even more, and is COO of the biggest enterprise in Hoenn. He is a safe, sensible choice. This guy isn’t going to break May’s heart.

As the meal winds down, Steven offers to pay for everyone; but Ash still has his pride. In the end, he manages to negotiate paying for just his own plate and drink, knowing he has no right to battle for the privilege of paying for May’s.

He wouldn’t even do so on a typical occasion anyway; but as far as Ash is concerned, Steven’s presence throws all of the friends’ typical rules of engagement out the window.

They say goodbye and part ways in front of the restaurant.

A few steps later, Ash snaps his fingers as he recalls something. He turns around to remind May of their movie plans in a few days, and he is met with the sight of the couple sharing a sweet kiss on the corner while waiting for the light to change.

Steven could never break May’s heart, but he sure can break Ash’s.

Ash turns back and continues walking. He hopes May can remember on her own.

~~~

fall for someone whose touch is way too much

May insists that nothing has changed between them, but clearly something has because Ash doesn’t remember ever being so anxious about her proximity before.

He had always been aware of her, though. Always. When your first meeting is saving the other from getting run over by a tour bus, you quickly develop the habit of keeping track of where the person is at all times.

Between his athleticism and her natural proclivity towards tactileness, casual physical exchanges quickly became their norm: hugs and high fives, friendly elbows in the rib after a good joke and sharing a blanket as they watch a movie, (lingering touches on the shoulder and holding hands even after they’ve escaped a crowd… or did he make those up?).

They were controlled yet unmistakably affectionate markers of their relationship.

But now?

When she shifts one centimetre closer to him in line at the mall food court, he accidentally overpays by fifty pokeyen out of distraction. When she grabs his fork out of his hand to try a piece of his takoyaki, he jerks so hard at the contact that he spills his soft drink all over the table. When she pats him dry using flimsy food court napkins with a joke about ice cream in her voice and fondness in her eyes, he needs to claim a rapid-onset fever in order to give himself an excuse to cut their lunch short immediately.

These innocent touches have been an ever-present facet of their friendship since basically the beginning; and even when he realised he was in love, they hadn’t affected him like this.

Things are different now, despite what she says.

Well, maybe not things; maybe just him.

He had allowed himself to revel in their familiar touches when she was single because he could, because there was no one else that she was supposed to be able to make feel like this. Even if the feeling wasn’t meant for him, it wasn’t meant for anyone else either.

But now.

He can’t, in good conscience, allow his heart to rush and his smile to form and his hand to squeeze back. It wouldn’t be fair to May, not when she’s trusting him with her friendship and he’s taking more from her than that.

Even though he’d like nothing else than to keep that closeness, to go back to how it was between them before, this is the way it has to be now. He just hopes she can understand.

~~~

fall for someone he doesn’t want to feel for

On sleepless nights, he wonders when.

He knows the who, what, why, and how; but the when eludes him.

...

They were both breathing heavy, attention focused on the spot of the road where the girl would have flattened like a pancake if it weren’t for his quick reflexes and hero complex.

The clapping of a few passers-by snapped them out of their shock and into the realisation that he still had her protectively cradled to his chest.

They quickly broke apart, and he took the time to wave off the praise from the gathered crowd while she checked her purse to see if everything was inside.

“You got everything?” he asked after people’s attentions finally turned back towards their own lives.

“Yeah, I do,” the girl replied, and her voice was rather cheery considering the ordeal she just survived. (He would later learn that was her default.)

“Great,” he said, genuine yet awkward.

They continued staring at each other. The adrenaline from their brush with danger hadn’t worn off yet; his heart was still beating very fast.

“So, um, have a good day,” he bade after it was clear neither of them had anything more to say. He made to return to his errands, but a hand on his arm stopped him.

“You saved my life, and you’re just gonna walk away?” she asked incredulously.

He blinked at her. “I’ll be honest; I wasn’t aware there was an after-action protocol for this sort of situation.”

She was incredulous for only a second before she giggled at him. “The least I can do is buy you lunch to say ‘thank you.’”

“Well, I’ve never turned down a free meal,” he accepts with a grin.

She giggled again then stuck out her hand. “My name’s May.”

“Ash.”

...

No, it wasn’t then. Nor was it during the meal they shared, nor at the bar where they happened to see each other that weekend, nor while they were escaping from the bar fight that she accidentally instigated that night.

...

“Is this going to become a running gag? Will I have to constantly be saving you from trouble you unintentionally get yourself into?” Ash panted after he directed her to duck into a nearby alley.

“Hey, as far as I’m concerned, this automatically makes me the most interesting friend you’ve got,” May countered.

He took one extra second to check no one was following them then cut a glance at her. “I don’t know about you, but most of my friends have my number.”

She rolled her eyes with a smile. “Smooth.” They switched phones and exchanged numbers.

“Better memorize that by heart,” he jested as he handed her her phone back. “Don’t wanna waste your one phone call at the station just because you mixed up the last two digits by accident.”

“If the next time you hear from me is because I went and got myself arrested, just leave me to rot. I must have earned it,” she smirked.

...

Luckily, the next time one of them reached out to the other wasn’t to bail the former out of jail. May invited him to a pool party for her birthday, where he handily won a water balloon fight and impressed everyone by fixing the grill for their barbeque. Their friendship continued to progress naturally: movie nights that turned into impromptu sleepovers, brunches that turned into walks around town. Several shopping trips and video games and hikes later, they were each other’s best friends. It was basically inevitable.

So when? When would he have had the chance to fall in love with her?

...

“Hello?”

“Ash, you picked up!” she sounded surprised―happy, but surprised―and he winced. He knew he’d been blowing her off a little more often lately, but making her think he’d turn down her phone call?

“Heh, yeah, sorry about that,” he said, betting on the hope that she somehow implicitly understood everything he was apologising for. “Is everything okay?”

For an extended second, she was quiet, then she said, “I need to tell you something.”

His hackles rose, and he started grabbing his keys and putting on his shoes. Maybe she finally ended up in jail. “Where are you? I can be there in ten minutes, maybe twenty with traffic―”

She giggled, and he paused. That was her nervous giggle. “May?” he asked, still wary but not about to race out of his house with only his boxers on.

“No! No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just… Steven told me he loves me.”

His breath left his lungs.

“And I told him I love him back,” she continued.

All the adrenaline that had surged through his body only moments before completely left him at her words, and his limbs locked up instead. He felt cold.

“Hello?”

He didn’t even realise he had sunk to his knees until he meant to take a step back towards the couch. He just slumped onto his butt. “That’s―” He had to clear his throat. “That’s gotta be recent.”

He could slap himself. He sounded as dead as he felt. He tried again: “I mean, that’s great news, May! He’s a lucky guy. Yeah.”

She sighed with relief. Could Steven tell what her sighs meant over the phone? ”I’m the lucky one, I think,” she said happily, and that was his last straw.

“Heh, yeah, well,” he sputtered out, just to have something to say. “Listen, since you’re not in danger or anything, uh, you actually caught me at a bad time, so I gotta go. I’ll catch you later, yeah?”

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

“Wait, Ash! Before you go!”

He held back a sigh. “What’s up, May?”

“It’s just… You’re right; it is recent. You’re actually the first person I told.”

“I’m honoured.” He couldn’t help the sarcasm that spilled out, but he backtracked quickly. “I mean it. Thank you for telling me.”

“Of course, Ash; I tell you everything. At this point, it’s like I have to; nothing would ever feel real otherwise.”

He shut his eyes. He really couldn’t take this anymore. “I know what you mean. Same here.”

She made a cute sound, a quiet little ‘hmm,’ and that was when the first tear spilled out. “Alright, I’ve taken up enough of your time. I’ll text you later!!” she promised.

“Later,” he repeated, both an echo and a goodbye; and finally, blissfully, he ended the call.

...

When, when, when?!

That was supposed to be one of the sweetest moments of her young adult life, and she called on him―trusted him, even―to be happy for her. When did he get to the point where he couldn’t even do that? Instead, he recalls it now as he struggles to fall asleep, playing the memory at half-speed over and over again in his imagination, and all he does is hope.

He desperately hopes it’ll stop hurting so much.

~~~

fall for someone with the sweetest rebel heart

When he finds out he didn’t get the promotion he was vying for at work, there’s no one else’s comfort he sought but May’s.

“I’m sorry that happened, Ash,” May soothes as she rubs rhythmic circles into Ash’s back. They’re in her condo, noticeably nicer maintained than Ash’s flat, side by side on the sofa. It is the first time he’s let her touch him in weeks, and he really needs it. “At least now they know you’re interested? It might be your turn next time.”

Ash snorts but nods anyway. He’s usually the type to look at the bright side, but it would be an understatement to say that he is simply disappointed. After all the L’s he’s been taking in his personal life, he had been hoping at least something would go his way professionally.

May continues, “Just make sure not to let this setback actually set you back. Keep putting your best foot forward, and I know you’ll win those guys over… just like you did with me!” She ends with a wink, trying her hardest to inject some levity into the situation.

Just like that, Ash’s mood sours even more. “You can’t say that to me, May,” he angrily replies as he shuffles out of her hold.

“What are you talking about?” she pouts as she feebly tries to get him to lay back against the couch so that the cold air can’t get under the blanket they are sharing.

“I didn’t ‘win you over,’ clearly.” He shrugs off her touch and scoots away. He has spent so long trying to keep his bitterness inside, but he doesn’t have the emotional wherewithal to regulate himself right now. He’s tired of trying to get over things that make him upset.

May frowns, the furrow between her brow getting deeper as she sits up straight on the sofa. “Ash, why are you talking like that? I meant, like, how we became friends, obviously. I didn’t grow to love you by accident.”

Ash stands then, balling the blanket up and throwing it back on the couch. “I bet Steven wouldn’t be too happy to hear you say that.”

She follows suit, her voice elevating in volume as if to match. “I bet Steven wouldn’t appreciate being judged by someone who’s only met him once―despite my efforts otherwise, might I add.”

“I bet Steven would love to hear his girlfriend say she loves another guy.”

“I bet Steven isn’t dumb enough to think I can’t love you both.”

“You don’t love me, May!” Ash finally explodes.

He has never raised his voice like this, not to her, but he’s tired. He’s tired of loving someone he can’t have, he’s tired of hating himself for it, and he’s tired of the guilt when he takes it out on her despite all his attempts not to.

She looks like she’s torn between yelling right back or kicking him out; and before she could make up her mind, he collects himself enough so he could bring his voice down. He states simply, “Not the way you love Steven.” Not the way I love you.

He doesn’t say it, but he can tell she hears it anyway. He clears his throat and turns around, trying to hide without running away. “Hearts don’t work like that,” he murmurs into the room.

He makes to leave, but May’s hand on his shoulder stops him. She forcibly turns him back to face her, and Ash is shocked at the determined set to her face. Her eyes, bluer than a water stone and twice as powerful, hold him as captive as they always have. “You listen to me, Ash Ketchum.” Her tone brokers no argument. “If you thought for a second that I stopped loving you because I fell in love with Steven, you clearly underestimated what my heart is capable of.”

Her grip on him tightens, as if making sure he is still with her in the moment. “It’s big enough for the both of you; and if that’s not the way hearts are supposed to work, then I’ll just be the exception that proves the rule.”

She pulls him into a hug then, like locking that promise between them, and he dares let himself hope she means that.

~~~

fall for someone whose heart needs sewing up

Ash wasn’t expecting a knock on his door this late at night, and he definitely wasn’t expecting to see a beautifully made up May Maple standing in the hallway, mascara-tinged tears and runny nose notwithstanding.

"Steven is moving to Alola to support Devon Corp’s expansion," is all she said, but even that much is hard to make out through her watery voice.

The news sinks in, and Ash’s heart feels like someone moved it three centimetres to the left: still there, still functional, but not at all where he needs it to be.

"You’ve always talked about going to Alola," is the only way he could respond, thinking of all the times they’ve imagined taking a week off and vacationing in the tropical region. He won’t, can’t let himself think about anything else or else he’d break down.

In his heartbreak, he cannot recognise May's tears, which are too raw and too loud to be that of someone bearing regrettable news. These are the tears of a confused, broken heart.

"Ash, I'm not going," she sniffles, still stiffly standing outside his door. "He asked me not to."

Finally understanding that he misunderstood, Ash is even more disoriented than he was before. "Why would he do that?" he asks, obviously still trying to wrap his mind around what the hell was happening.

"I don’t know!" May yells while clenching her fists and stomping a high-heeled foot. It is the most movement she's made since he opened the door. "I demanded a reason, and he spewed nonsense at me! He said―" and she stops. Her whole body slumps back into stillness but without the stiffness of before. She continues quietly, "He said he didn’t want to see what I’d look like with my heart so far outside of my chest," like a guilty confession. Ash is at once reminded of their almost-fight a month ago, and he still isn’t sure what this all means.

He almost asks, Why wouldn’t he believe your heart was right where you were? or How capable is the human heart now? but he doesn’t.

Instead, he finally welcomes May inside. He sits her on the couch and helps her take off her heels before she wraps herself up in the blanket he keeps there―a blanket he only has, he remembers, because when she first visited his apartment, she insisted his couch needed one. She doesn’t just hold the blanket around her shoulders; she hides her entire frame within its folds. He merely sits on the couch next to the lump and places a solitary hand on top, unsure where it was resting yet hoping it is providing comfort nevertheless.

He wonders if May ever let Steven see her like this, the way she needs to shut out all stimuli as if to physically recreate her darkest moments. He wonders why he loves that she does that, even though it causes him so much selfish pain to be close enough to see her like this but shut out from her healing.

"I don’t think I have a boyfriend anymore," May says at length, voice dampened by the space and fabric between them.

It would have been the happiest news of Ash’s adult life if it weren’t for the extreme melancholy that laced her tone as she said it out loud.

He squeezes his hand into a fist on top of the blanket, his signal that he’d like to hug her if he could.

"I would have missed you if you left." Ash gives a nonsequitur-confession in response. May burrows deeper into the blankets and says nothing.

Instead, she reaches a hand out from a heretofore unseen opening in the fabric and holds on to his other hand tightly.

Ash stares at her slender knuckles, made paler from her firm grasp, and stops hoping.

He gently plies her fingers from his palm and tries not to feel guilty about the shocked, embarrassed way the hand pulls back into the blanket as he leaves her there.

The love of his life needs compassion right now. This is not his opportunity to sweep her off her feet; this is not his second chance.

He returns from the bedroom, settles back into his place on the couch, and forces May out of the blanket.

~~~

May jerks her head up, shocked and angry and still embarrassed from her rejected attempt to seek Ash’s comfort, but she is quickly mollified into confusion. The expected sight of Ash’s lit up form in his lit up living room ends up being no different from the blackness from which she thought she was rudely taken.

It is so dark under the extra, larger blanket that she can’t even see Ash’s nose even though she can sense his head is mere inches from hers.

His hands find hers in the darkness and squeeze. Relief flashes through her as she finally surrenders to the deep, thick slice of heartbreak.

May wants to see his face, but she settles for a hug.

#pokemon #pokemon fanfiction #advshipping #advanceshipping #ash ketchum #may maple #aamaylove #satoharu #unsuspecting #xyzc*

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mrsmarymorstan · 5 years ago

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Do you have any headcanons for all the Fruits Basket couples?

OKAY so I’ve been thinking about this one, so that’s why it’s kind of late.

I have headcanons for ALL the couples, and if I don’t have any existing well then I sure do now! I’m gonna stick with one headcanon per canon couple though, because otherwise we’d be here till the END OF TIME! There WILL be Manga Spoilers here too FYI! So back away if you care about such tings. Anyway, without further ado:

1) Kyo X Tohru

Kyo tries so desperately to do the chores for Tohru but she’s just too stubborn about things and it’s programmed into her now! He gets sick and tired of being forced to sit down as she cleans the floors and cooks dinner, that he starts to enforce a STRICT rota where in they split duties each day. So one night Kyo will cook and Tohru will wash up, and the next Kyo will clean the bathroom whilst Tohru does the kitchen and so on. People go to their house and side eye the fact that they need a PHYSICAL ROTA to decide these things, aren’t they MARRIED? And Kyo just shakes his head because “it’s the only way she’ll let me do anything. The rota MUST be enforced at all costs.”

When Tohru becomes pregnant the rota gets replaced with things like “Relax and put your feet up because you are eight months pregnant STOP TRYING TO CLEAN THE FLOOR!”

2) Machi X Yuki

One of their first PROPER dates together was to a Summer Festival! It wasn’t intended as a double date but once Komaki and Kakeru found out they were going they INSISTED on going as a group! Komaki dressed Machi up in a Yukata, and Yuki did the whole =O moment when she arrived looking so beautiful. Kakeru has photos of it on his phone.

However the moment Yuki treasures the most is when Machi pushed her purse into his hands so she could take on the air-gun game stand because they had an exclusive piece of Mogeta merchendise. He will forever remember the determined look on her face as she won toy after toy until eventually she got the correct number of bulls eyes. Yuki offered to try to win it for her, but she just shouted him down because NO! She has to do this FOR HERSELF!

And if Yuki weren’t already in love....

3) Haru X Rin

Haru and Rin attend the same Art and Design school together after graduation. Rin had to defer for a couple of years because of her health and of course the need to study for the entrance exams/portfolio review (I don’t know how Japanese Art & Design courses work....) They’re get a bit of a reputation on campus as a power couple. She studies Fine Art and he studies Fashion. Haru often features in her paintings and drawings, and she is his Go To model for all his designs. This continues when they graduate and Haru becomes a full time fashion designer (occasionally doing leather work for Ayame) and Rin starts selling her paintings and takes commissions. The reason Sora & Riku have so many matching outfits is just that they’re from Haru’s fashion line!

4) Mitsuru X Ritsu

Clothes Swapping!!!! So much clothes swapping. Ritsu teachers her how to wear Furisode (until of course she’s no longer an unmarried woman wa-haaay!) and Mitsuru helps him find suits that actually suit him! And yes, that does include skirts. Their shared wardrobe is just that, a shared wardrobe. There’s a few things that need to be taken into consideration like height and so on, but on the whole their clothes are very much interchangeable. Ritsu does work in a bit more colour into Mitchan’s wardrobe though! So she’s not stuck looking too dower all the time.

For their wedding, Ritsu wore a dress and Mitsuru wore a suit and were BOTH all the more comfortable for it.

5) Hatori X Mayuko

I’ve mentioned this before, I think, but I recon Mayu was already pregnant when they got married. It wasn’t the DECIDING factor on things, but when they found out she was pregnant for CERTAIN Hatori began to make plans to sort out the paperwork for their marriage. Mayuko denied him at first, just because it felt so sudden but came back the next day because yes, you’re right I do love you and I already know I want to keep this baby so yeah. Let’s do this thing!

The kids were all very freaked out when they did the maths and realised that Kinu-chan was the result of unprotected sex... they literally had to sit through talks with them BOTH about How Not To Get Pregnant!!! Could they not take THEIR OWN ADVICE???

They are very much in love though, and are excellent parents to Kinu.

BONUS: Upon getting married, Mayu realised that based on Hatori’s standing she now “outranked” all those Shitty Zodiac Parents and was just like “Oh I am going to WRECK these people for the things they did to my Kids!”

Because yes, Mayu IS the greatest Teacher, her pupils all mean the WORLD to her, and the only thing holding her back before from kicking their arses was the fear of getting fired... but they’ve all graduated now SO COME HERE YOU FUCKERS TIME TO END YOU!

6) Ayame X Mine

They were the first couple to get married after the curse broke. The wedding was an incredibly gay affair. Ayame wore a wedding dress and MIne wore a suit (this is what inspird Ritsu and Mitchan a few years later) and they all looked AMAZING. There were several costume changes throughout the whole affair, so Mine DID get to wear cute dresses and Ayame looked dapper in some suits... but it was honestly a competition as to what sort of gender-presentation they were going to have each time they went to get changed.

They had so many costume and venue changes that by their ACTUAL wedding night they were too exhausted to do anything more than cuddle up close together. But in all honesty? That was a better moment then any sex could ever hope to be! They finally got to be public about their love and PROPERLY hold one another in PUBLIC?! The love on their faces was so pure that not even Kyo could feel weird about it.

7) Kakeru/Komaki

When Kakeru eventually proposed to Komaki he planned to be really cool and suave but actually just cried the whole way through to the point where Komaki had to ask the question for him. Their wedding was a simple affair, because they wanted to save money to move in together properly. Kakeru’s dad was actively NOT invited. He literally got an invite saying “This is the date and the time and we would like to make sure that you are not within 1KM of the event you fucker.”

8) Akito X Shigure

They actually understood the amount of unhealthy elements linked with their relationship and took things really slowly. They even attended couples therapy so they could work everything out maturely, and so when they eventually decided to try for a child it was once they were in a really secure and solid relationship. They did NOT want to repeat the mistakes of their parents in ANY way!

#Furuba #Fruits Basket #Furuba Manga Spoilers #Kyoru #Yuchi #Anonymous

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damejanai · 4 years ago

Photo

Dame raji

2020.09.09

K: Ahhh ....nobody noticed at all huh... S: !! Ahhh K: Right? S: I'll go ahead and say it okay? K: Alright S: You dyed your hair K: Yes! S: Wahhhhh K: There's a reason for this S: Reason?

K: I've mentioned it here and there about Ive been watching "tokai on air (youtube channel)' S: Uh huh K: My favorite members from there are shibayu and tetsuya S: I see K: Their hairstyles are really striking S: I see I see K: One has orange hair and one is blonde, so I decided to go with red, which is one of their theme colours, and went to the salon. I went to one that had a review saying 'they're good at doing mens casual hairstyles' S: wwwwww K: I dyed my hair there.. But I totally chickened out. S: Haha! K: Hahahaha S: Knowing how you wanted to dye it red, this is a little... K: I totally chickened out. The stylist asked, "it's gonna be quite red, is it okay?" When I was asked, " is it okay?" , I couldn't say yes S: Ahahahhaaa, so did you bleach it? K: Yes I was at the part about whether to bleach it or not S: Ahahaha K: I chickened out from there. I asked if it could be red, without bleaching, they said it could be done ...and showed me the colour.. "Ahhh that's really red.... " I said. And asked them if I could do it darker S: hahahaa K: It looked as good as brown but maybe the red can be seen...? So I told them to go with that.... Brown, Hhahahaha S: Yeah, if you didn't mention no one would have K: But if I walked in with red hair everyone would be shocked right? S: Very~ K: Righhhhht S: So did you ask your agency whether it was okay? K: Huh? Why S: You didn't ask? K: I didn't, Well it's my own hair. So, did any one realise ? See? No! I specially said the word red a lot at our meeting just now.... S: Ahahahahahaa Well there's no way we can tell what you were thinking! S: I want to dye my hair blue! I've actually dyed my hair blue but it looked black. But it would look blue under the light. K: Like Yusa san S: Yeah I thought Yusa san looked really cool I wanted to do it too. Who here realised? K: Whoa amazing! S: Yay!!!! K: Why didn't anyone notice mine?! S: Ahahahaha K: Well I know actually, it's just not red. Let's retake our dameraji poster with me in red hair and soma san can dye your hair a little blue or something S: Ohhhh, but I would like to try it K: If it's part of this programme it's easier to do it! I want someone to give me a push S: I see. You know I love the main character in persona 3, I want to dye my hair blue and let it grow long. I wanna do it I wanna do it! K: That's good! S: I'll do it I'll do it K: How about it? Ehhh they said okay! But there's no okay from 81 produce S: Ahahhhaha K: There's sacra music too right? S: But I'd like to do it~~ K: It could be interesting .... Red huh.... S: You could make it a little redder K: You didn't realise? S: Well... Umm... It's brown !

--- ~Topic on video editing and software~ S: With music too, when the number of stuff you can do increases, you'd want to use less of it and go the traditional way. Like going by chord theory, after this chord, usually this chord follows, if you've grasped this concept, the type of songs you can write broadens K: Oooooh S: Please continue to listen to me K: I'm listening S: Were you really listening? K: I was I was, I'm just doing that while looking at the acrylic board S: hahahahaha, you're like not looking me in the eye but looking at my reflection in the acrylic board K: No I'm looking at my own reflection S: Yourself! K: I was thinking about how brown it is hahahaha S: That's like what you always scold me about. Not to look at my phone when others are talking to me K: I was really listening!! S: And so.... I realised that with all these programs I start to lose flexibility. Like there are tons of stuff I can do with the programs nowadays, but when I listen to my demos from years ago K: Uh huh S: Although the quality of those are really low, I really felt like producing those songs K: Ahhhh. So like with the PC, there's a limit to the things we can do on it S: True K: If it's for music, you can put in the guitar sounds but there's definitely something limiting your creativity S: Totally K: The times when people were just composing on their own guitars was more free S: Ahahaha K: Told you I was listening?! S: Umm thank you! It just brings the image of Ishikawa san strumming the guitar, like 'back in the day' kind if feeling. Strumming the guitar in the sunset, with red hair K: I played shitty songs... But we had the most freedom then. S: Ahahahaha K: Ahahahaha S: You're so convincing, somehow K: I've not touched a guitar ever since I bought one in high school just to play "Fuwa fuwa time". It was impossible S: Yeahhh but it's true, and songs in the past were more weird.. Like it wouldnt turn out like that normally. Like I said that I added dissonance in the intro of my song "Petrichor", but it's not about that K: Uh... Huh? S: Ahahahaha K: What do you mean? S: What I mean is, I've been listening to songs from long ago and thinking that they're really good, but I'm also working hard on my songs now ---

About the Summerholic! MV S: We rented a house studio, and they got ready ao many props for us, like video games, beach ball, jenga. K: ooh ooh S: I had so much fun, but because there were too many things and it was so fun, I toppled the Jenga blocks quite early on K: Uh, that's purely, clumsiness, not that you had too much fun S: Ahhhhaa, I sat on the sofa and played with the watermelon shaped beach ball and hit my right leg K: Ahahahaa you S: It crumbled like Jenga K: Ahhh that's like hard to put back together S: Yea they gave up putting the Jenga back K: Ahhh leaving it toppled is more indoor-like... Leaving it messy ~ Dame raji photo studio ~ This time the photos were mainly focused on the hair, so that the colour can be seen

[DOWNLOAD]

Please download from this link:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Yp5Xdwi4_z03jPajH9BEbL7R02brXk8P?usp=sharing

#dameraji #dame janai radio #ishikawa kaito #saito soma

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merinnan · 4 years ago

Text

first lines of your last 20 fics!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors!

@jenwryn said everyone was tagged, and this seemed like an excellent way to procrastinate.

I’m gonna include WIPs here if there is almost a chapter or more written. Multi-chapter fics are only having the first chapter counted.

Following jenwryn’s lead and tagging whoever else wants to do it!

1. Untitled fic being co-written with @xantissa (WIP) (DMBJ, probably PingXieSang, AU, demon!Xiaoge). Liu Sang shifted on the cold ground, trying not to make it obvious how much he ached.

2. Untitled fic being co-written with @xantissa (WIP) (DMBJ, PingXie, mistaken identity. Explicit): It was a Wednesday.

3. Cats and Dogs (co-written with xantissa) (DMBJ, Liu Sang & Jiang Zisuan, sequel to Cat’s Paw. Liu Sang and Jiang Zisuan’s weird-ass friendship): Liu Sang huddled further underneath the chassis of the car he was pressed up against, shaking his head in an attempt to clear the ringing from his ears.

4. Ears and Other Related Calamities (co-written with xantissa) (DMBJ, PingXieSang, shifter AU. The boys get lost in a tomb. Mildly explicit): Wu Xie wasn't exactly sure what to feel as he watched the far too large camp take shape.

5. Shine a little light (co-written with xantissa) (DMBJ, PingXieSang, sequel to Those who fear darkness. Huli jing!Liu Sang gets added to the mix. Explicit): As far as Liu Sang was concerned, the only good thing about this whole sordid business was that he could order himself increasingly complicated, sweet beverages while he watched his prey.

6. Silent Graves (DMBJ, Zhang Qiling, outsider POV. Ficlet set after Wu Xie’s eventual death): When the grave was first built and occupied, it was very busy.

7. Those who fear darkness have never seen what light can do (co-written with xantissa) (DMBJ, PingXie, AU. BB!Wu Xie gets lost in a tomb, and then weird things keep happening around him): Wu Sanxing crouched down beside the new hole that his people were digging out despite the pouring rain and darkness.

8. Big Bang fic to be revealed in April! (co-written with xantissa) (DMBJ, PingXie, assassin AU. Explicit): For all that the bright streetlights weren’t that far away, it was dark where he staggered, burning with pain and the desperate need to get away from his followers.

9. Cat’s Paw (co-written with xantissa) (DMBJ, PingXieSang, Reboot/Chongqi canon divergence where Liu Sang was originally working for Jiao-laoban. Explicit): Liu Sang hated the jungle.

10. It's a lovely day in the tomb, and Yóu is a horrible shibie (DMBJ. Time Raiders from the perspective of a troublesome shibie): It's a lovely day in the tomb, and Yóu is a horrible shibie.

11. The Ballad of Bugnado (DMBJ. Filk): Bug!

12. Stars fall like diamonds (DMBJ, PingXie, a Reboot/Chongqi scene from Xiaoge’s POV): The first time it happened, Zhang Qiling wasn’t entirely surprised.

13. The Cats Travesty (general Guardian, which ofc means some WeiLan. Zhao Yunlan subjects people to the Cats 2019 movie): It all started because of the reviews.

14. Untitled Guardian fic (WIP) (WeiLan, Zhao Yunlan & Ye Zun, Shen Wei & Ye Zun. Post-canon fix-it fic feat. reincarnation): It was hurting again.

15. Operation: Make Lan Zhan Remember (WIP) (MDZS/CQL, WangXian, modern AU/reincarnation fic): Supervising a day trip for a busload of five-year-olds had not been Lan Wangji’s plan for the day when he woke up this morning, and yet, here he was.

16. Blanket Forts are the Best Wingmen (MDZS/CQL, NieLan. Modern AU. After having an argument with his best friend, Lan Xichen tries to apologise with a blanket fort): Not for the first time that day, Lan Xichen looked around the utter disaster area that was his living room and wondered just what the hell he was doing.

17. The Rescue Job (Guardian, WeiLan, Leverage AU. WIP. A job gone wrong means Shen Wei needs rescuing): If anyone had asked Zhao Yunlan this morning how he thought this day would go, kissing Shen Wei would not have even been suggested.

18. Nevermore (MDZS/CQL, XiCheng, Pacific Rim AU. WIP.): Humanity always thought alien life would come from the stars…but it came from beneath the sea.

19. Qinghe Jue (CQL, Nie Mingjue. NMJ’s spirit visits his brother just after his death): Pain. His entire world was pain.

20. Do You Want to Have a Blanket Fort? (MDZS/CQL, Nie Mingjue & Nie Huaisang, modern AU. After his brother had a fight with his best friend, Huaisang builds him a blanket form to help cheer him up): It looked like it had been a bright, beautiful day – at least, that’s what was promised by the golden sunlight that crept around the edges of the curtains on his bedroom window.

Wow, I hadn’t actually realised how much I wrote in this past year. These are all from the last 12 months.

Patterns. Hmmm. I tend to start in media res a lot, I suppose. And often name the POV character in the first line.

Favourite line out of all of these, that’s a hard one. I do like It's a lovely day in the tomb, and Yóu is a horrible shibie, because it’s just such a perfect summary of the entire fic, as well as riffing off a game I really enjoyed playing (and which formed some of the inspiration for the fic, too). And Not for the first time that day, Lan Xichen looked around the utter disaster area that was his living room and wondered just what the hell he was doing is a line that resonates with me on a regular basis, because, like, mood, Xichen. Mood.

#fanfic #meme #dmbj #mdzs #cql #guardian

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ggukcangetit · 5 years ago

Text

Dreamcatchers Chap 3

Pairing: jungkook x oc

Synopsis: DI Jeon didn’t need a new partner. Unfortunately, his superiors felt otherwise; especially considering the extremely high-profile murder that had just taken place in the port city. Recent transfer, DI Choi Yuri finds herself confronted with a new cityscape, unfamiliar people, a hostile partner, and a homicide that is certain to bring back unpleasant memories.

Genre/AU: fluff/action/mystery | detective! au | police!jungkook, police!oc

Word Count: 4.1k

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: mentions of violence, alcohol, blood, drugs, death. Basically stuff you’d associate with a murder mystery/crime drama

Previous: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Acknowledgement: shoutout to @stutterfly for designing this beautiful banner which i am completely in love with and stare at for no particular reason throughout the day

A/N: reminding everyone that this story features a named oc because i’m still very unfamiliar with writing second person reader inserts. i’m not aiming for strict accuracy in this story, and all criminal investigation/forensics knowledge i have has been gathered by watching crime drama/procedural dramas! my knowledge of geography is also not totally accurate so apologies for that. once again, one thing right by @hobios prompted me to write a police inspector! jungkook story. would highly recommend reading that because it’s probably one of my most favorite pieces of writing!

18th December

Ahreum parked her motorbike outside the bakery and checked her phone for messages. There were none. This wasn’t unusual in itself, except for the fact that she had been supposed to meet him 2 hours ago at the other end of town. Which meant that he was hiding from her.

“Where is he?” she asked, walking up to the counter and heaving a tired sigh.

Seokjin pressed his lips together, trying to suppress the grin that was threatening to break out. Ahreum was definitely a force to be reckoned with - usually bright and overflowing with energy, there was only one situation that caused the optimist in her to hurtle towards a speedy demise.

“Can I interest you in some raspberry choux au craquelin?” He picked up a tray with freshly baked pastry and waved it enticingly in front of her.

“This doesn’t work on me, Seokjin. Although-” she picked up a few and wrapped them in some paper napkins - “I’m sure Yuri would love to try these. Now, where is he?”

Seokjin sighed and took off his apron. “He’s in the room right at the back where I do the accounts.”

Ahreum sighed and walked around the back of the counter, heading towards the rooms at the back of the bakery. Seokjin had three areas at the back - his kitchen (really no one other than him was allowed in here), the store room (which was way too small to fit even one full grown person in it), and the accounts room (where a certain someone had taken to hiding whenever things got a little too difficult).

And sure enough, a mop of curly black hair was visible from the door to the accounts room. On any other day, Ahreum would’ve found his shenanigans extremely hilarious; but she was really not in the mood for any silly games today.

“You were supposed to meet me two hours ago.” Her voice was soft but it still made him jump up and nearly knock over the PC he had been fidgeting with.

“Fuck!” he gasped. “What the hell? I nearly died!”

Ahreum rolled her eyes as she helped him up. “Don’t be dramatic, Tae. It’s really not as attractive as you think.”

Be that as it may, there was not much that could be considered unattractive on Kim Taehyung. He was somewhat of a social media celebrity thanks to the aesthetically taken pictures of his undoubtedly handsome face - all of which Ahreum had taken. In fact, when Ahreum had shown Yuri some of the pictures from her instagram page, she had gasped rather loudly.

“He’s literally a piece of art!”

“I mean, yes, he’s definitely conventionally attractive,” conceded Ahreum, a little annoyed that her photography was almost completely being ignored. “But what do you think of the pictures?”

“‘Conventionally attractive’? Is that the best you can do with your Literature & Creative Writing degree?”

Ahreum peered over his shoulder to see what he was working on so intently, only to find that he was-

“Playing a game?? You ditched me to play a fucking PC game?” she gasped, whacking his shoulder hard. “What the hell is wrong with you, Kim Taehyung?!”

“No!” He held his hands up to protect himself from further blows. “I just started playing a few minutes ago! I swear!”

“Why’d you ditch, then?”

“Because…” he trailed off, looking away guiltily. That, in essence, was the entire problem regarding Kim Taehyung. He ran at the sight of any kind of responsibility or hard work. Correction - any kind of hard work that wasn’t related to his hobbies.

“You were supposed to finish reviewing company policies today so that you wouldn’t be unprepared when you meet your dad tomorrow.”

“I know.” He looked downcast, switching off the PC monitor. “I just-”

“If this isn’t what you want to do, you should just tell them.” Seokjin walked into the room, untying his apron carefully.

“I don’t know,” sighed Taehyung. “I’m not sure if this is what I want to do, but I don’t know what else I could possibly do. I’m not like you.”

“You don’t have to be like me, Taehyung,” sighed Seokjin.

Taehyung let out a humorless laugh. “Eomma and Appa sure are trying their damned best that I do become like you. At least, like you till you ran away.”

Seokjin snorted. “They’re tenacious, if nothing else.”

“Are you ever gonna come home?” asked Taehyung, looking up for the first time.

“No.”

This had never been an easy topic of discussion. Mr. and Mrs. Kim were owners of the largest financial consulting firm in Busan. They were well-liked in society and highly respected for their unusually ethical business practices. So it was a huge shock when their elder son - who had gotten an MBA and possessed all the qualities of heading a large company - had left home suddenly, leaving only a single note.

This is not the life for me. I have dreams of my own. I don’t think I can stay in touch. Please forgive me.

There were many tears shed, but recovery was quick as a new successor had to be found. Thus, the Kims’ younger son - the one who had lived a charmed and carefree life while his brother learned about business techniques and the history of the company - was suddenly thrust into the front line.

Naturally, when Taehyung had run into his brother a few miles outside of the metropolitan, running a cozy bakery, he had been less than thrilled. Ahreum still remembered the angry tears that had rolled down her friend’s usually cheerful face. Seokjin, on the other hand, looked so conflicted that Ahreum thought he might just combust on the spot. It had taken a few weeks, but the brothers had eventually reconciled. Taehyung had made a deal with his parents - he would attend all meetings and grooming lessons as long as he was allowed to live somewhere else. And that somewhere else happened to be Seokjin’s small, but tastefully done up, apartment.

Taehyung usually had 4 meetings in a week; all ending by 4 pm so that he could drive home before nightfall. The rest of the days, he was free to do whatever he pleased. This arrangement had worked well for almost 3 months, but Taehyung’s free-spirited nature could only hold out for so long. He had been reaching meetings late, forgetting to complete paperwork, and even sneaking out early if he could manage it. Seokjin had requested Ahreum to make sure his younger brother attended all his meetings because he was always managing the bakery at those times. Seokjin himself made sure that Taehyung didn’t forget to do any of the work that had been assigned to the younger boy during his meetings.

Today, however, Ahreum realised that her friend was at his breaking point. He had done everything in his power to avoid her so that he wouldn’t have to prepare for the meeting. Not just that, Seokjin-

“Why’d you let him hide here?” Ahreum turned towards the older Kim brother, her hands on her hips - a sure sign that her patience was running thin. “After the dozens of lectures you gave me about making sure he’s doing what he’s supposed to, you go ahead and help him play hooky? What the hell, Seokjin?”

Seokjin didn’t know how to explain to her that he felt guilty. Guilty that his younger brother was suffering like this, guilty that his parents were so desperate that they had decided to entrust the future of the company to a young boy who had missed his final university exam because he had found a stray puppy during his morning cycle rides (and had promptly decided to adopt it). But Seokjin couldn’t leave behind his dream - his resentment towards his family had been growing with each passing year, and the drastic move and change in communication had been a desperate attempt to stop himself from hating his family forever. Caught between doing right by his own self and by his parents and younger brother, Seokjin often questioned if any of this was worth it.

But rather than explain all this to his brother’s friend - who had pinned him with a rather glowering look - he did what he always did in difficult situations. He avoided answering directly and used humor to deflect everything.

“I was cleaning up your mess, unfortunately. I’m not the one who lost him during a fixed study session, Ahreum. You should be thanking me,” he grinned, dodging the pencil Ahreum threw at him. “But since I’m such a generous, handsome, charming, and talented individual, I’ll let it slide and pack two large boxes of pastries for you to take home. One for your friend and the other for Namjoon. No charge, it’s on the house.”

Ahreum rolled her eyes while Taehyung giggled at his brother’s speech.

“I’d better get 4 large iced teas along with the pastries,” she said, finally relenting. Seokjin winked at her and went back to the front of the store to get everything prepared.

“I’m sorry for ditching you,” Taehyung said softly, his black curls falling over his eyes. “It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“Maybe we should try and figure out a different system. How many more of these meetings and lessons do you need to attend, anyway? Why don’t you ask your parents if you can reduce the number of meetings in a week?”

“I guess I could,” he replied, thoughtfully. “By the way, did you see Jimin on your way here?”

Ahreum shook her head. “Nope. Was I supposed to have?”

“No… it’s just that-” he checked his phone absentmindedly. “He hasn’t been answering any of my calls or texts since last night.”

“Since when does Park Jimin start his day before 3 pm?” scoffed Ahreum. “He’s probably hungover at some girl’s apartment.”

“Aw come on, Ahreum. He’s been so much better recently,” whined Taehyung. “And I’m not saying that just because he’s my best friend. He barely parties anymore - unless it’s a business appointment. He’s been helping his dad with the business as well. Unlike me, he actually goes to work 5 days a week.”

“Wow, let’s give him a medal for doing the bare minimum.”

Seokjin appeared at that moment, holding two bulging pastry boxes and a cup holder with 4 cups of iced tea.

“Tell Namjoon to drop by sometime, or that’s the last eclair he’ll be seeing!” he yelled as Ahreum strapped on her helmet and bade goodbye.

xxx

Jeongguk sat at his desk, his mind straying to that night in November. He could clearly recall the murder - the young woman on the ground, blood leaking from the multiple stab wounds all over her abdomen. She lived on part-time jobs, her demeanour quiet and unassuming as recounted by the handful of employers who had managed to recall her face. It was not surprising that she did not have too many possessions of her own, her life neatly tucked away into a one-room storage on the ground floor of a run-down building. But it wasn’t all of this that kept distracting Jeongguk from almost everything in his life - it was the picture of a three year old girl, the only evidence of life in the entire room, smiling brightly at her mother. The mother who lay in a pool of her own blood, and the little girl who had been missing since that day.

“The ramen’s gone cold? Things must have really changed since I last saw you, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk turned around at the sound of a familiar voice, his eyes lighting up in surprise.

“Yoongi? What are you doing here?” he asked, getting up and hugging his friend. “Why aren’t you in Seoul, putting bigwigs behind bars?”

“Let’s get some lamb skewers. My treat.” Jeongguk grinned at the suggestion, the grisly murder and the missing girl temporarily forgotten.

20 minutes later, they were sitting at a hole in the wall diner that Jeongguk hadn’t been to since he had been promoted to Detective Inspector.

“Are you telling me that our own Min Yoongi is now a father? The same guy who instilled fear in the hearts of the juniors by narrowing his eyes at them?”

Yoongi laughed, his gummy smile appearing for the first time. “She’s almost 4 weeks old. Sometimes I’m not even sure if she’s real. But then Eunbi puts me on diaper duty and there’s no way that smell can’t be real.”

“Knew she was something special the day she called you out on your bullshit,” grinned Jeongguk. “The famous Min Eye Narrowing technique didn’t work on her.”

“Yeah, she told me to stop pulling all-nighters and get a new prescription from my eye doctor,” recalled Yoongi, adjusting his glasses. “Turns out the famous Min Eye Narrowing technique was just plain old myopia.”

“But enough about me,” he continued, once Jeongguk had stopped laughing. “Why was that ramen sitting out and getting cold?”

Normally, Jeongguk wouldn’t discuss the details of a case with anyone else. But Yoongi wasn’t just anyone - they had trained at the same police academy in Seoul and the older boy had quickly understood that 18 year old Jeongguk wasn’t a standoffish troublemaker; just extremely homesick. Even after Jeongguk had moved back to Busan, he and Yoongi still kept in touch with each other, no matter how sporadic.

Jeongguk sighed and explained the details of the November case. “I just can’t let it go. Where is that little girl? We haven’t found a body either - so there’s a chance she might still be alive. It’s just- I think I’m going crazy.”

“I understand,” said Yoongi, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “That pathetic partner of yours can’t be of much use either, I’m sure. Still don’t know how they promoted Song to Detective Inspector. I’ve always maintained that he’s one shot away from becoming an alcoholic.”

“Well you weren’t wrong,” said Jeongguk, with a resigned chuckle. “They relieved him of his duties a couple of months ago.”

“Oh? Who’s your new partner then?”

“Some annoying Captain America wannabe,” grumbled Jeongguk. It was a well-known fact that he was a huge Iron Man fan and had not appreciated the ending of Civil War. “Choi Yuri - she’s from Seoul.”

“Choi Yuri?!” asked Yoongi, his eyes widening comically. “Your new partner is Yuri??”

“You know her?” asked Jeongguk, frowning.

“Of course I know her! We worked together for almost 3 years!” exclaimed Yoongi. “Wait, why’d you call her a Captain America wannabe? You hate Steve Rogers.”

“I do not hate Steve Rogers. I hate Captain America. There’s a difference.”

“Still doesn’t explain why you don’t like Yuri.”

“She’s too by-the-book.” Jeongguk frowned, his fingers twirling the chopsticks absentmindedly. “Perfect first impression, perfectly friendly to everyone, perfectly punctual; Goh absolutely loves her. I’m sure she’ll get in the way of the investigation because of her need to follow procedure to the t.”

Yoongi frowned. “That... doesn’t sound like her. I mean, she’s definitely punctual but she’s never made a great first impression. She usually comes off as reserved, aloof - haughty even.”

“Maybe she’s changed,” shrugged Jeongguk, not particularly interested in the personality changes of his new partner.

“She has. I didn’t think that incident would have affected her like this. But…” Yoongi trailed off, staring at nothing in particular.

“What incident?”

“The reason she was transferred from Seoul. Hasn’t she told you?”

“No.”

“I don’t know if I should…” muttered Yoongi, his face reflecting his inner conflict. “But if knowing the truth makes it easier for you two to work together, then…”

Jeongguk frowned, wondering what exactly the big mystery was.

“We were investigating a homicide and it led us to a very high profile family in Seoul. It was quite clear that the eldest son was involved in the murder. I was Chief Inspector at that time, and we were getting a lot of pressure from above to wrap up the case without involving the family. But Yuri was determined to pursue the investigation. She had even rented an apartment closer to work so that she could devote more time to the case. One night, when she got back to her apartment, someone attacked her. It was quite brutal and she needed a couple of surgeries and two months of therapy after that. We eventually had to drop the case against the eldest son. Right after that, Yuri got her transfer letter. I didn’t know she had been transferred here, otherwise I would’ve told you about her. She’s a smart detective, Jeongguk. Just try and work with her. Maybe she needs some time to adjust to getting back to work after that entire fiasco.”

Jeongguk was stunned. He would never have thought Yuri had gone through something so traumatic if Yoongi hadn’t told him. Her outward demeanour hinted at nothing of the sort, and he felt a small bubble of guilt forming in his stomach.

xxx

Yuri sat at her desk, going over the autopsy report for the twentieth time. There were no leads (other than a very uncooperative Park Jimin), no physical evidence, no concrete motive - things were looking increasingly hopeless. On top of that, she still had to contend with an asshole of a partner.

“Yuri?” Seulgi ran up to her desk, slightly out of breath. “Where’s Jeon?”

“Dunno,” she shrugged. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“I think we may have something.” Seulgi pulled up a chair and sat down beside her. “After the autopsy concluded that Eunwoo hit his head after being pushed, I wondered if there was a proper fight preceding that. So I examined his clothes and hands once again - to try and find any evidence of a scuffle. And I did. There was dried blood, not a lot, put enough for me to run a test on it. And you know what I found?”

“It wasn’t Eunwoo’s blood.”

“Exactly. Which means...?”

“It might be from the person who fought with and then shoved him to his death.”

“Unfortunately, the blood on the sleeve doesn’t belong to anyone in the system so I would need a sample to test it against.” Seulgi waved a hand in front of Yuri, trying to get her attention.

“Oh yeah… Sorry. Yeah, a blood sample. Our only suspect right now is Park Jimin. But we let him go yesterday because we didn’t have anything concrete to hold him.”

Seulgi frowned. “So what are you waiting for? Ask him to come in and provide a blood sample.”

“It’d be completely voluntary, though. He has every right to refuse,” said Yuri, closing her eyes in frustration. She had a feeling there was no way Park Jimin would cooperate with her now when he had blatantly refused to provide an alibi earlier.

“I know you’re new here, Yuri,” said Seulgi. “But Jimin’s an asshole. Everyone knows that. He’s evaded the law so many times because his father has the best lawyers on his payroll. That’s why he’s not in the system even though he deserves to be - he’s bought his way out multiple times.”

“You really don’t like him, do you?” asked Yuri, genuinely curious.

Seulgi’s body stiffened at the question and she stood up suddenly. “I’m just stating facts. I don’t know him personally.”

Yuri could see that she had touched a nerve. “I’ll try and get him to give a blood sample. How long would you need to run the test?”

“I can have it done the same day if I get the sample early enough.”

Yuri pocketed her phone and keys, swiping the half-empty bottle of water from her desk, and walked towards the exit. Her mind was thinking of how exactly she could convince Park Jimin to willingly provide a blood sample. Try as she might, she couldn’t shake off the wariness she felt around young sons of influential businessmen and politicians. She no longer knew what the right step forward should be in an investigation. Something that was instinctive and almost second-nature to her, had been robbed from her and she had no idea how to get it back. Her continuous second-guessing would eventually show in the investigation, and she had no doubt that Jeon would jump at the chance to expose her inadequacies. Once again, she felt alone and vulnerable; somehow trying to survive while her weaknesses were laid bare for anyone to pick at. She had never felt this powerless since graduating from the academy.

In her distracted state, Yuri almost ran into heavy incoming traffic. Almost. Fortunately, someone grabbed a hold of her and yanked her back by her elbow before she could become roadkill.

“Oh my god! Thank you so much! I-I wasn’t looking where I was-” she stopped short as she realized who had pulled her back to safety.

“Yoongi?!”

“Don’t sound so surprised. I’m not the one who was heading directly into peak traffic,” said Yoongi, rolling his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah I’m fine,” she said, still trying to process everything. “What are you doing here?”

Before Yoongi could reply, another voice spoke up.

“Why don’t you guys go ahead and catch up? The coffee shop across the street isn’t too bad. I need to attend to some paperwork anyway, so don’t worry about me. I’ll see you later, Yoongi.”

Yuri stared open-mouthed as Yoongi grinned and thanked Jeon for lunch.

“So, coffee?”

It had been a few months since Yuri had seen her friend and senior. He didn’t look too different, except for the bags under his eyes. Maybe he had become a little thinner as well.

“You didn’t tell me why you’re here,” said Yuri, once they had both gotten their orders.

“I came to pick up something for the little one,” said Yoongi, opening a packet of sugar and offering it to her.

“Shit. I totally forgot! The last time I saw you, Eunbi was approaching her due date! How is she? And how’s baby Min doing?”

Yoongi scrunched his nose at the last question. “Baby Min is a horrible way to address anyone. Let’s not do that. Eunbi’s fine, and so is the little one. We still haven’t decided on a name yet.”

“I’m sure you’ll think of a really beautiful name,” Yuri said, smiling softly. “There’s no need to rush.”

“How are you?”

Yoongi’s question was simple. But they both knew that the answer to it was anything but.

“I don’t know.” The frown on her face told Yoongi that a direct approach was not going to work.

“I heard that you haven’t been getting along well with your new partner,” he asked instead, suppressing a grin when her eyes lit up furiously.

“About that,” said Yuri, crossing her arms over her chest. “How do you know Jeon?”

“Jeongguk and I trained at the same academy. I was a couple of years ahead of him. But we have a mutual love of lamb skewers that helped us bond. He’s a good kid.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” muttered Yuri. “Didn’t think I’d ever doubt your character judgement abilities, Yoongi, but I’m gonna have to disagree with you on this one. Jeon’s an asshole. And he’s made things really difficult for me, even though it’s barely been three days since I started here.”

“I won’t lie,” chuckled Yoongi. “He didn’t have the best things to say about you either. But I think I know you both quite well. And I think you’ve both got bigger things weighing on you right now which have clouded your personalities. I’m not saying you should go ahead and become best buds right away. Just… keep an open mind.”

Yuri remained quiet, not sure how she felt about what Yoongi had just said. It annoyed her that her friend didn’t appear to be on her side completely.

“I can see that you aren’t liking what I’m saying and the annoyance has already started to show on your face,” said Yoongi with a twinkle in his eye. “So I’m just going to say one last thing on the issue. The 2nd November case that Jeongguk’s been overseeing - I want you to go over it. You might be able to help.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…”

“I know that you’re scared. Your fear is completely understandable. But that’s just a part of you - maybe a bigger part than you would like, but a part nonetheless. You didn’t choose this and you definitely didn’t want this. But it’s something that you are going to have to accept eventually. The scars that are formed unknowingly, unwantedly, mistakenly - they are all part of your constellation.”

It was strange. Yoongi hadn’t told her to overcome her fears - he hadn’t even asked her exactly what it was that she was afraid of. But his words had struck a chord somewhere.

When they parted outside the station a little later, Yuri stared at her friend while trying to decide what to tell him. In the end, she settled for something professional whose meaning was deeply personal to the two of them.

“I’m sorry they demoted you.”

xxx

hey everyone! hope you’re enjoying the story so far. feel free to drop a message/ask if you have any questions/thoughts on the story.

#jungkook #jungkook x oc #jungkook fic #bts fic #namjoon #taehyung #jimin #yoongi #seokjin #hoseok #c me write bangtan #btsbookclub

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fandom-necromancer · 4 years ago

Text

Let’s write together: Heart Reset

Chapter 1 - Substitute Detectives

Featuring:

@aurea-b with “Don’t tell me you watched me sleep all night.” @thetruefor3stspirit with “Not gonna lie... I’d die for these soft tiddies.” @rufina72 and Spirit with “Gavin’s cat” & “Reed900 cats” A baguette with “Ralph” @sparklingrainbowdragon with “Ralph/Jerrys” An anon with “Connor/Chloe” (more of them in chapter 3) an anon with “Gavin accidentally puts salt into his coffee. Drinks full cup without flinching” an anon with “Maybe an old friend/ ex from Gavin or Nines appears and causes drama™️” (more of him throughout the story)

Thank you all so much for participating!

[Chapter 2]

Gavin was awoken far too early by his alarm clock. He pulled a grimace and groaned: ‘Phhhck.’ Without looking he tried to slap the damn thing off, only succeeding in weakly flopping his arm on his bedside table, annoying the cat sleeping on his chest. Still, the alarm stopped right then. ‘I love to watch your praised Detective brain work’, came the chuckled comment to that from his side. ‘Hey, tin-can, if you can hack my clock, why don’t you wake me up instead?’ ‘Oh, that’s an easy one. I love the way you scrunch up your face being all grumpy.’ ‘Hmm, yeah, I know I’m pretty.’ Gavin smiled sleepily, still not wanting to open his eyes. ‘You do that a few times in your sleep too. It’s cute.’ ‘Hmm, yeah, I’m phcking cute- wait what?’ That made him sit up and actually look at the android next to him. The cat, finally irritated enough, ran off towards the kitchen ‘Don’t tell me you watched me sleep all night.’ ‘Am I not allowed to admire my perfect human?’, Nines asked faking his hurt. ‘Nah, you are allowed to. Just don’t be creepy.’ ‘Oh yes? Well, if I may remind you of the time I was in stasis and you woke me up hugging me and telling me-‘ ‘No, I don’t want to hear it!’, Gavin laughed, covering his face in embarrassment. But Nines knew no mercy. ‘Telling me, and I quote: Not gonna lie... I’d die for these soft tiddies ?’ ‘I was super drunk this evening coming home from the bar with Tina, okay? Alcohol does these things to you.’ Nines just shrugged and got up. ‘Come on, we have to go to work.’ ‘Don’t remind me…’ ‘I’ll make you something to eat.’ ‘Thanks.’

They got to work perfectly punctual, as always. Ever since Nines took over their schedule, they wouldn’t be a minute late unless something happened. He had argued with Gavin so many times, he was tired of it by now and just complied. The toaster had good intentions after all, and Gavin knew he just liked to complain. The downside of this was that people knew when they would arrive and especially those earlier than them seemed to love bothering them when they just got there. One of these people was Connor.

Gavin had just put his jacket over the back of his chair while Nines downloaded the latest progress, when he practically felt the RK800’s eyes fall on him. ‘I’m off to the breakroom, puppy is coming and I need my coffee before that.’ Nines looked up and saw Connor stand up. ‘I’m coming with you.’ They escaped the android for approximately one more minute by this manoeuvre. Gavin had started filling the machine with water and waited for it to cook, while Nines watched him. ‘Ah, good to see you! Good morning to you two! I actually searched for you.’ ‘You mean you waited for us to arrive and the moment we were at our desks you struck?’, Nines corrected him, making Gavin smile to himself. ‘Maybe? Anyways, I need your help. So, me and Hank got this case and…’ Gavin sighed as Connor rambled on, pushing the button of the machine that made it spit out his life elixir, only half-heartedly listening. It was still too early in the morning for such talks. ‘and we have reviewed all evidence, we know nearly everything already, we only need to arrest him when we have enough evidence. And both of that will be possible a days from now, at the theme park just outside Detroit. I planned talking to some contacts at New Jericho who worked there, then plan a trap, but…’ ‘But?’ ‘Well, me and Chloe have our anniversary on that day and… Well I promised her to be there. Why did Browns have to choose that night for it?’

That made both Gavin and Nines give him his full attention, as they both asked simultaneously: ‘You are with Chloe?’ ‘Browns? Jayden Browns?’ Connor looked at them a bit surprised. He answered Nines first: ‘Well yeah, we met at Kamski’s villa before the revolution but after that a few times more and it just worked.’ ‘Honestly I thought you would tend more to Hank…’ ‘Wha- No! I see him more of a dad, I think. And yes, Gavin his first name is Jayden, how did you know?’ ‘Oh, nothing’, he brushed it off, taking his cup and taking a sip just to nearly spit it out. His eyes darted to the two shakers. Were they… Yes. Who the hell had switched sugar and salt around? But damn it, Connor was here, looking at him. And Gavin would never admit and error to the android and pointedly drunk the whole cup without flinching. ‘Old friend of mine’, he choked out. ‘Really? Well, that’s even better then! Because I really need you to take this case over for me.’ ‘What?’, Nines asked. ‘Why?’ ‘My date with Chloe? Also, you are way better suited with Gavin knowing our suspect! Come on, I’ll owe you one. Please?’ Nines looked over to Gavin, who nodded. ‘Fine, we’ll help you out. But just so you know, we’ll take all the credit, too.’ ‘Yes! Thank you so much! I’ll transfer all data we have so far to you!’

And with that he was off, leaving both of them standing in the breakroom. ‘Why did you accept?’, Nines asked. ‘We don’t have an active case at the moment. Also, Connor owing us? Can’t let that chance pass.’ ‘Quick thinking. Did you know you poured salt in your coffee?’ ‘I know.’ ‘Did you know Connor saw it too and chugging it did nothing to mask the error as we are not human?’ ‘I know!’ ‘I admire your stubbornness.’ ‘I know. Come on, let’s go read up on our new case.’

New Jericho, the apartment complex given to Markus after the revolution, wasn’t that far from the precinct. The drive there still felt overly long with the lingering silence neither of them knew how to break. It was Nines in the end, who prodded: ‘Who is the suspect, your “old friend”, really? You know him well.’ Gavin ducked his head. ‘Urgh, he’s an ex of mine. Don’t ask. I had a bullshit taste before you came along. Just… I mean I knew he could easily turn to illegal stuff, but mostly with androids and I didn’t care about your kind back then and-‘ ‘It’s okay.’ ‘It really isn’t, I should have turned him in earlier, even if it was just for property damage. But I was more focussed on getting away from him I guess.’ Nines could tell his human was uncomfortable talking about it. ‘He really wasn’t a good pick when even I realised it back then…’ ‘Well, you get your chance to arrest him now’, Nines said, trying to be comforting. ‘Yeah, right. Still can’t believe the idiot made it that far.’

It was impressive really. Jayden had been many things, but not intelligent. According to Connor’s research though, he had gotten his hands on data that could threaten all of androidkind. They didn’t know what it was exactly yet, but every goon they had managed to catch and interrogate had made a point in bragging about what was coming. Apparently, it would change the world as they knew it. Knowing the man, Gavin was sure though that that was an exaggeration. Maybe Jayden was convinced of it, but if he got his hands on it it couldn’t be that much of a danger. Whatever it would turn out to be though, Jayden was trying to sell it to the highest bidder and from what Connor had found out, the sum that was offered could make a man rich easily. The data would be handed over at exactly seven pm in tomorrow over at ArcaneWorld, a closed amusement park. The website stated it was closed for renovations, but Nines had found out the site hadn’t been updated in three years and the park had lost all investors. The owner had vanished mysteriously, likely because of the amount of debt the park had collected. But that would be a case for another time, now they needed to find out where exactly their suspects would meet on the roughly twenty-thousand square metre big areal.

‘You know, on a completely other point, I have never been to New Jericho. Do they even accept humans?’ It was meant as a joke, but Nines answered seriously. ‘There are certain areas you won’t be allowed in, yes. Although the majority is, not all androids have deviated yet. Some will never need to, being given freedom simply by prohibiting people from ordering them around. Those that do naturally without being converted mostly break their chains by trauma. Most connected to humans. You understand you won’t be let in there?’ Gavin laughed nervously. ‘Yeah, I understand that alright. Damn it, with the amount of hate-crime receding to the, well, to the normal levels, I thought that wouldn’t be that much of a problem anymore.’ ‘It got better the last years’, the android answered. ‘I think nowadays it’s just one floor that’s prohibited for humans. When I was awoken, there was only one floor humans were allowed to enter.’ ‘Shit…’, Gavin hissed, looking up towards their destination. The building could already be seen, although it would take a few more minutes to get there. ‘Our contacts, are they-‘ ‘No. One of them spent a lot of time away from humans, but he got better with time. I actually met him in my time there. The others never had a scarring experience with your kind, although maybe that’s also due to their programming. They are designed to be patient, easily forgiving and caring. No matter how drastic deviancy can change us, a few traits stay.’ ‘They?’, Gavin asked. ‘Just one person or how many are we speaking with?’ ‘Two persons’, Nines answered and smiled. ‘Roughly a hundred units. No one really knows how many there are.’ ‘Excuse me?’ ‘They share a hivemind. It was an interesting thought of Cyberlife as that made sharing information in a theme park much easier.’ ‘You androids are weird.’ ‘Says the human that is partially controlled by his intestine’s flora.’ ‘Yeah okay, point taken.’

They parked the car and went inside. Nines connected to the apartment buildings android network and announced themselves to the other androids. Nearly instantly he got an invitation back he translated for Gavin. ‘They are waiting for us in the gardens. They ask if you need anything.’ A bit phased, the human shook his head. ‘No, I’m good, thanks. Kind of forgot you can simply do that…’ ‘Believe me, it feels strange even to me. I prefer talking, too.’ They moved through the hallways towards the back exit and Gavin was surprised to see how many androids there were. It was normal to see them on the streets now, but without any humans around it still felt weird to him. Some of them didn’t wear their skin, all of them were openly interfacing on a regular basis. Still throughout it all, they acknowledged Gavin’s presence, some even waved or threw him a polite smile before going on with their day. It was so different to what Gavin had experienced with the human-only neighbourhoods that had formed after the revolution and androids had needed police protection entering. Gavin remembered the people living there just too well and how they reacted to Nines as the only android with them.

He honestly had thought of this to be similar for him.

Nines opened the door for him to step into a huge atrium mostly filled by a huge park-like area. ‘Over here’, Nines said, leading Gavin to where and android sat, plucking weeds. As they approached, he stood up, clasping his hands. His face was heavily damaged, Gavin could see that even from a distance. But the other android’s eyes were fixed on Nines, before he awkwardly waddled over. ‘RK900! RK900 is here, Ralph is happy to see you!’ Gavin watched his partner as the damaged android ran at him just to hug him. ‘I’m happy to see you too! Although my name is Nines now.’ ‘You got a name now? That’s good! Ralph likes it, it is a good name.’ ‘My friend here gave it to me’, Nines chuckled and laid an arm on Gavin’s shoulder. ‘Oh, you found a human? The one from the file you told me about?’ Nines blushed a little, refusing to make eye contact. ‘Yes. It all worked out.’ Ralph held out a hand for Gavin to shake. ‘Hello, friend! Ralph knows Nines from when he first got here. We are good friends.’ ‘I’m Gavin’, he introduced himself, not quite sure what to make of the android. Nines had never mentioned him after all. ‘I’m also a… good friend of him, we met at the DPD.’ ‘Oh! Ralph knows! You came hear to ask questions about the case, yes, Connor told me! But Ralph doesn’t know much, he just met Jerry there. Jerry can tell more; Ralph will call him!’

He did not call him loudly, but immediately five androids perked up, all looking exactly the same. They looked at Ralph, then each other, before three of them dropped their tools and came over. One went over to Ralph to hug him, while the other two looked curiously at Nines and Gavin. ‘Hello! Our name is Jerry. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Connor said you needed help?’ Gavin nodded in the general direction, not quite sure which unit to address. But Nines turned to the one who had just spoken, so Gavin followed his example.

‘Do you know the theme park ArcaneWorld?’, Nines asked. ‘Connor told me you would be the best to ask this.’ The unit in front of him nodded. ‘Yes, we were property of the previous park. Pirate’s cove was abandoned but gained the attention after we were found after the revolution. We were happy to leave the place, but we keep it in good memory. We liked working there and making people happy.’ ‘I’m sorry, but how are you an expert on ArcaneWorld when you worked in the previous park?’, Gavin asked. ‘We used the unique android network there. It helped us keep ourselves and not be lonely, much like the one installed here. But we have never been disconnected. And the person who bought Pirate’s cove after the revolution demolished buildings and attractions but kept the network to run the new park. We received regular updates until it closed again, including a detailed blueprint of the entire park and surveillance. Just a moment, please.’ Multiple other Jerrys approached them, pushing their hands together. Gavin had seen the holographic screen Nines and Connor could produce, but never something like this. Every individual screen connected, forming a map of ArcaneWorld. ‘There. What do you need to know?’ ‘We have to intercept a criminal selling off valuable data. We know it happens at seven, but not where in the park.’ A few of the Jerrys nodded in unison. ‘Well, the park is partly still functioning. The whole area here…’ a huge part of the map was marked. ‘This whole area isn’t safe. A huge ride there had been closed due to safety reasons and had to be renovated. That never happened, so now the ride has long collapsed. The old area of Pirate’s cove is still functioning, as well as the main attraction of the new park, a large area of medieval themed rides. Maybe that narrows it down a bit. Oh, and another thing, the surveillance cameras in a large part of the medieval area were shut down lately. May only be a coincidence, but when there are still some working in the collapsed ride, we don’t think this simply happened because of decay. We would search there.’

‘Sounds good to me’, Gavin shrugged. ‘As good a place as any to start.’ Nines nodded. ‘Thank you, Jerry, you helped us a lot. Do keep an eye on the park though and call us if you see anything.’ ‘Of course. Best of luck!’

Nines and Gavin left New Jericho shortly after that. Nines had stayed a bit longer to download the map from Jerry and gain access to the network, but soon they had taken their leave. ‘An old friend, huh?’, Gavin smirked as they walked towards the car. ‘Anything I need to know?’ ‘They really are just friends I made, unlike our suspect’, Nines shot back though. ‘Ralph had been with Jerry from the start.’ ‘Err.. what? How is that even… nevermind, I don’t wanna know.’ Nines looked at him, clearly disappointed. ‘Gavin, please, don’t try to judge them with human terms. I keep one of my processor cores reserved just for you, always. Jerry does the same, but with interchangeable units. It’s not that difficult to understand.’ ‘I said I didn’t want to know that, Nines. If it works for them, fine with me.’ ‘Good. That being settled, let’s get back and find out everything about this park.’

[>next Chapter]

#detroit become human #dbh #Reed900 #RK900 #Gavin Reed #Let's write together #one year of stories

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amphtaminedreams · 5 years ago

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Film Tier Ranking 2019: A Bad Year for Bird Films

Hi to anyone reading,

I’ve finally put it together: my 2019 film tier ranking! I know tier rankings are a bit 6 months ago but seeing British crisps sorted into god, good, mid and shit tier all over Twitter, the format really resonated with me and I was like I MUST USE THIS AT SOME POINT! And I guess since there probably isn’t much of an audience for crisp tier rankings on Tumblr, it makes more sense for me to do it with films instead, especially as doing a 2019 year in film review was something I previously claimed I would do; here’s to 2020 and following through on my proposals.

I think 2019 in general was an okay year for film, with the end of the year definitely outselling the beginning. One thing to bear in mind is that a lot of films that I would’ve been able to see in 2019, I.E Little Women and Parasite, didn’t come out until 2020 in the UK so they won’t make it onto this year’s list. It’s not a snub by any means. I more fall in line with the Elsie Fisher Film Awards school of thought than the Oscars, which have yet again disregarded several incredible performances this year: Florence Pugh in Midsommar, Taron Egerton in Rocketman, Lupita Nyongo in Us, and of course, Greta Gerwig’s direction of Little Women. I’m sure there are many more but those are the first few that come to mind. Oh to be in 2017 when nominations made fractionally more sense.

This list also includes films that weren’t necessarily released this year, but that I just got around to watching; there were a couple of disappointments but also a lot of films I can’t believe it took me this long to finally watch and have definitely made their way into my favourites. My goal for this year is to get through even more of the films on my verrrry long Letterboxd watchlist, and more specifically, watch said films without going on my phone, which is a really bad habit of mine. I find it hard to sit still! Let me live!

I also want to try and put aside my prejudices about visual quality and watch more pre-2000s movies this year; it’s really bad but I never managed to get more than half an hour into Psycho, of all films, solely because I couldn’t deal with the black and white. In 2020, I am going to stop being a whiney Gen Z/cusp millenial-er and give older films the chance they deserve.

So, without further ado, here is my film tier ranking of everything I watched in 2019! If you make it til the end and have any thoughts or disagreements, let me know. I love to hear other’s opinions and get new perspectives on things and am totally open to any criticism. Happy reading:-)

God Tier

Knives Out (Rian Johnson, 2019)

Knives Out. What a film.

I feel like I waited forever to see this at the cinema. They must have started showing trailers for it in, like, August, and I had to wait til mid-November to see it. How are you gonna just dangle a film with Toni Colette and Lakeith Stanfield in my face and then make me wait 3 months? Totally unethical.

But that being said, when it finally came around and I did see it, as much as I love Toni and Lakeith, there was one stand out and it wasn’t either of them: ANA DE ARMAS. I have to admit I’d never heard of her before but she acted the shit out of a role I feel I’d ordinarily find irritating and gimmicky. Daniel Craig, whose character seemed annoying as fuck in the trailer, was actually surprisingly funny.

Stylistically, it was a very cool film and I liked the subtle commentary on class that was running throughout. Also, I thought the ending was very clever. My issue with a lot of whodunnits is that they just pick someone who doesn’t make sense for shock factor *cough, Bobby Beale in Eastenders, cough* but the shocks here were more in the details.

Hustlers (Lorene Scafaria, 2019)

There wasn’t one single moment of Hustlers I didn’t enjoy and it’s quite amazing that there wasn’t one single point in this film about strippers that I felt gratuitously sexualised women. THAT is why you fund female directors. It made the whole thing look like a calculated art form, which I think the unsexy amongst us can all agree that it is. Constance Wu was a fantastic lead, J-Lo was kind of robbed for a supporting actress nom, and Keke Palmer and Lili Reinhart were hilarious too.

Midsommar (Ari Aster, 2019)

Midsommar was such an experience that it took me a good few days afterwards to decide whether I actually liked it. I saw it the day it came out because I loved Hereditary so much and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I kind of had an idea of the way it was going to go, we could all kind of guess evil cult was the route that was being taken from the trailer, but I just didn’t realise quite how weird it’d get.

The gore was great, the visuals were stunning and the character arcs were surprising and for that reason, I think this is another game changer for horror from Ari Aster. I didn’t love it like I loved Hereditary but it continues to play on my mind and 7 months later I still can’t resist a good “Things you Missed in Hereditary” or “Hereditary Themes Explained” Youtube video essay. That’s how you know a film fucked with you and that’s the ultimate goal of going into a horror for me. Put that on my headstone after I inevitably get myself into some mortally dangerous conflict because I want to “get fucked with” a little bit.

Booksmart (Olivia Wilde, 2019)

So here’s the thing with Booksmart: I was getting progressively more and more drunk throughout it so I might be a little biased when I say I loved it. That being said, worth revere seems to be a commonly held opinion so I’ll stick to my guns. Plus, movies like this, which just focus on girls living their lives, are few and far between. Why have we had to wait THIS long for the female Superbad?

IDK. But Kaitlyn Dever, Beanie Feldstein and Billie Lourd proved it’s definitely a genre worth investing in so hopefully we see more lighthearted female-led coming of age comedies. One Ladybird per year isn’t enough for me.

The Favourite (Yorgos Lanthimos, 2018)

I included The Favourite in my 50 Films You’ve Got to Watch that I made earlier this year so I don’t have all that much to say about it that I haven’t said already. To summarise, it’s an instant classic: the cinematography, the cast, the lines, it’s all perfection.

Suspiria (Luca Guadagnino, 2018)

I also included Suspiria in my 50 Films You’ve Got to Watch list so sorry if I’m repeating myself, but I adored everything about it. If I had to sum it up in one sentence I’d say divine feminine energy, but inverted. Plus ballet. That dancing scene in the mirrored room will probably never leave my mind (if you’ve watched it, trust me, you’ll know the one I'm talking about), and if there were awards given out for creepy montages in horror, this would win all of them. It still blows my mind that Tilda Swinton played 3 characters in this film; 2 of them are so distinctly different, if anyone put two and two together without prior knowledge of this fact then I’ll blow my own head up too. This is why I got so mad when there was all that discussion around her being the new female Doctor Who and there were people asking who she was. How can you not know who Tilda fucking Swinton is!? She’s a legend!

Sorry, is the wannabe film snob in me showing?

Annihilation (Alex Garland, 2018)

Though I initially watched it because it’s branded as a horror, Annihilation ended up being a surprisingly introspective take on human nature and our self-destructive tendencies. Nothing really went the way I expected it to, even though I was constantly trying to guess that trajectory from beginning to end.

Visually, Annihilation is magnificent. Like, it’s tense, and where exactly the plot is going is shrouded in mystery, but most importantly, it’s super fucking pretty. Sure, the only thing that was mildly horrifying was the *SPOILER* end result of that bear scene but I didn’t mind too much because there was always that edge-of-your-seat possibility something like that would happen again.

Also I realised that Gina Roduriguez is really hot in this! I would just say in general but that video of her saying the n-word kind of took away shot at real world magnetism. WHY SUCH A SHITTY APOLOGY VIDEO!? WHY?!

Assassination Nation (Sam Levinson, 2018)

So I didn’t clock until I was looking up directors that Sam Levinson, Euphoria director, also directed this, and suddenly everything makes sense in the world. They both have that dreamlike, exaggerated feel that perfectly captures the emotional rollercoaster that is being a teenager, only in Assassination Nation obviously the threats are a bit more...tangible. As in its actually other people trying to kill our protagonists this time round, not just angst.

Not gonna lie, it’s not a patch on Euphoria because that show is probably the best thing I watched all year, but I did thoroughly enjoy it, even if I did feel the social commentary, despite how in your face it was, got a bit lost in translation at times. I think it’s the kind of film that, once again, would’ve felt more genuine coming from a female director, however that’s not to take away from how witty, modern, and completely relevant it still is as we move into 2020.

Sorry To Bother You (Boots Riley, 2018)

Right. WHAT THE FUCK!?

Why don’t more people talk about this film? Like it has Tessa Thompson and the world’s best earrings! Lakeith Stanfield getting more than 10 cumulative minutes of screen time! Armie Hammer being that bitch we all knew he was irl (probably)! Scathing critiques of late stage capitalism! It’s insane, in the absolute best way.

SPOILERS AHEAD: I had a mini paragraph written about the last hour of the film and the descent into pure unadulterated chaos, and how it’s like, the internet’s best kept secret, because ordinarily you lot can’t keep your mouths shut about a film or TV’s shows most crucial reveals for more than 5 minutes and THEN...My FBI agent must be feeling real cheeky because THIS tweet pops up on my Twitter timeline.

Fuck this shit, I’m out. Onto the next film. MI5 stop peeping my drafts.

Eighth Grade (Bo Burnham, 2018)

I don’t want to repeat what I said about Eighth Grade in my 50 Films you Should Watch list but Elsie Fisher’s performance in this is why I wish the Oscars also had some kind of rising star award category à la the BAFTAs. Honestly, every 13/14 year old should watch this; it’s a reminder that although feeling like an outsider is by its nature quite isolating, it’s prolific enough that a 29 year old man, 10 years out of “high school”, gets it.

American Animals (Bart Layton, 2018)

My sister and I absolutely loved this film so you can image our disappointment when we turned round to our parents at the end and our enthusiasm wasn’t matched...as in, I’m pretty sure they were both asleep for a lot of it. WHICH I DON’T GET. Because to me, there wasn’t a dull moment. American Animals is what happens when a group of university age boys with the finesse of the American Vandal Turd Burglar try and apply that to an Evil Genius stye heist, part Netflix, talking head abundant documentary, part live-action film. Splicing a stylistic reenactment with interview footage of the men who really attempted to commit the crime elevated what I probably would have put in the Good Tier™ to the God Tier™; seeing the guy Evan Peters is playing alongside Evan Peters playing him, now only the remnants of the arrogance we see in the reenactment left behind, sharply reminds you of the fall from grace these boys deservedly went through. Plus Barry Keoghan from The Killing of a Sacred Deer is in it, proving that unsettlingly stiff is NOT in fact his natural state.

Gerald’s Game (Mike Flanagan, 2017)

I wish there was a shorthand way to say I wrote about this in my 50 Films You Should Watch list so I’m gonna keep it short but here we are! This was great! If The Haunting of Hill House isn’t proof enough, Gerald’s Game (not to take away any credit from Stephen King) is a reminder that Mike Flanagan is the king of subtle, niggling sensation in your stomach that something is about to go very wrong horror. I hear he and Ari Aster have a timeshare situation going on with the crown.

The Ritual (David Bruckner, 2017)

Okay, so this is the film that made me realise we should all be very scared of forests. Nope, all the documentaries into the Aokigahara Forest weren’t enough, apparently. I subjected myself to this too, as if my unfit, cold-blooded, bug-fearing, scared of the dark ass doesn’t already have enough concerns about my survival odds in the great outdoors.

Really though, setting aside, this film maintains the sense of dread throughout and keeps you guessing what’s going on until the very end. Much like The Descent, the group dynamic and characters are realistic enough that it adds to the believability of a scenario I, in principle, know would never happen to the extent that I might keep away from vast, wooded spaces for a while just in case.

Dumbo (Tim Burton, 2019)

If film Twitter came across this post and saw I’d placed Dumbo in a higher tier than If Beale Street Could Talk I can only imagine the outrage. And sure, the latter is probably a much higher quality film. But sometimes a movie, for reasons you can’t quite put your finger on, gets you right in the sweet spot, and Dumbo did that for me. Maybe it was that the CGI elephant reminded me of my cat (I know, leave me alone), maybe I was emotional that day, I don’t know, all I know is that I cried like 5 times and was smiling for the rest of it-to be fair, the exploitation of animals for our entertainment is something that is still very much going on and that was something that was playing on my mind a lot whilst I was watching it. IRL Dumbos should be free too. Dumbo rights.

The VVitch (Robert Eggers, 2016)

This film taught me that there’s nothing wrong with joining a coven of young witches and getting naked and levitating around a fire. And that’s an important life lesson. Plus it gave us the quote “wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”, which is not only so perfectly creepy and simultaneously empowering that I had to get it tattooed but also, created ASMR. I just made that last bit up obviously but Black Philip getting his own ASMR Youtube channel?

The Descent (Neil Marshall, 2006)

For me, much like The Ritual, The Descent is a perfect horror film: it’s got the ghouls but the situation the characters find themselves in is also terrifying by its own merit. The reason The Descent made it onto my 50 Films list and the Ritual didn’t is because, let’s be honest, it’s 2020 and you can get mobile signal in most places. You could probably at least make a 999 call if you got lost in a forest. If you DID get stuck in an underground cave and it collapsed in on itself, you’d be pretty fucked; the idea of it makes me shudder and I will never set foot in an underground tunnel at any point in my life for any amount of money EVER after seeing this. Also, the women in this are great and the creatures in this are genuinely quite terrifying, especially the first time you see them.

Chicago (Rob Marshall, 2003)

Ah, Chicago, the last film on the God Tier™, proving that this list is in no particular order. Because WHAT A FIM. WHY DON’T PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THIS MORE?! Like don’t get me wrong, I know it deservedly won Best Picture in 2003 but I’m talking about right now! I mean, fucking Titanic is still out here getting referenced left, right and centre and yet Chicago gets paid dust! Can you tell I’m mad and that I think Titanic is hugely overrated?! Is that maybe coming across?!

ALL the songs are bops, Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot (I saw someone on Letterboxd say that Catherine Zeta-Jones in this film was their bisexual awakening and honestly, if I hadn’t already known I was a raging bisexual, same, because I FELT things in that All That Jazz opening) and Cell Block Tango is the revenge fantasy anthem I never knew I needed. Smart, tongue in cheek, beautifully shot and makes men look like little bitches which is probably why my dad hated it but what did I expect.

Good Tier

Zombieland: Double Tap (Ruben Fleischer, 2019)

Onto the first film of the good tier, Zombieland: Double Tap definitely exceeded my expectations. I was super worried about the prospect of a sequel as I love the first one so much and assumed it would be crap. Obviously, it doesn’t match up to the original because the original WAS so original, but it was still a fun, easy, witty ride. And I was SO glad they didn’t *SPOILERS AHEAD* kill off Tallahassee at the end because I really thought that was coming and it seemed so predictable and unnecessary. Highlight was the introduction of the lookalikes at Graceland.

Judy (Rupert Goold, 2019)

So, this is the first of two consecutive rants I’m about to go on about Oscar nominations and people’s reactions online. Prepare yourself.

I’ll start with the underlying message: just because you think something else deserves the praise more, doesn’t mean the film/album/*insert whatever artistic medium you wish here* that IS getting the praise is shit.

Like people are angry that Lupita Nyongo wasn’t nominated for best actress for her performance in Us which is COMPLETELY valid as she carried that film on her back. In the same vein, people are also angry that more women of colour haven’t been nominated for best actress. Also valid; I’ve yet to see The Farewell but I’ve heard great things about Akwafina’s performance and I love her so even though I haven’t seen it, I’m gonna take the general consensus that she should’ve been nominated too. The Oscars definitely has a problem with recognising the work of POC. BUT, because of this, people are angry that Renee Zellweger has been nominated for her performance in Judy, saying that it’s typical “Oscar bait”. I agree, it is typical Oscar bait. However, a lot of the people saying this will in the same breath say (or tweet rather) that they haven’t actually SEEN Judy.

How can you possibly say that Renee Zellweger doesn’t deserve any of the praise she’s getting when you haven’t even seen the film? Don’t get me wrong, the film itself is good but not outstanding (hence its place in this tier), but you can see Renee genuinely put her heart and soul into this film; it was powerful, and it was sympathetic but it was also nuanced and subtle where they could’ve just capitalised on all the sensationalised stories of the actions of a woman clearly deeply suffering in her final years and had it be full of shouting and screaming. The Wizard of Oz has always kind of felt like home to me because of the childhood nostalgia factor and so I’ve always been interested in Judy and I think Renee captured her heart and her spirit in a way she would be deeply honoured by. Maybe the film itself doesn’t deserve the acclaim it’s getting but I think Zellweger definitely deserves the nom and I think most people who’ve actually seen it wouldn’t contest that.

Joker (Todd Philipps, 2019)

Okay so second rant. I’m sorry. I have a lot of feelings. Most of them aimed at the annoying tendency of internet users, Film Twitter™ and Letterboxd users I’m looking at you in particular, to be wildly exaggerative.

There just seems to be no nuance online. It’s not just yeah, I didn’t like the film personally and the message could be perceived in a certain way by certain individuals, it’s I HATE THIS FILM AND IT’S DANGEROUS AND THE DIRECTOR FUCKING SUCKS. I noticed this trend when La La Land came out (which if I had watched last year would certainly be in God tier for me). It’s like, if a film initially receives a lot of praise and buzz, there’s almost this wave of compensatory vehement criticism in response that’s usually disproportionate to how controversial the film actually is. People didn’t like that Joker was popular because they didn’t like Joker so suddenly it’s the worst film ever and the possibility of it getting any critical acclaim is wrong. I even saw people berating Todd Philipps for channelling Martin Scorsese as he’s the only person to ever be influenced and take direction from one of the most dominant figures in film of the 20th and 21st century. I mean, what’s wrong with that?! If it was any other director, it’d be called homage. But because everything has to be seen through this malicious lens, its copying.

I think one of the few very valid criticisms about Joker was that it further perpetuates the idea that psychotic people are dangerous, and I can totally see where they’re coming from. At the same time, we have to accept that whilst the majority of people who are psychotic aren’t a danger to anyone apart from themselves, most “dangerous” people don’t just become dangerous because they thought, fuck it, why not? A lot of people in the prison system ARE suffering with some kind of mental illness. The character’s psychosis doesn’t make him dangerous, it’s his underlying resentment and sense of entitlement that grows throughout the film that makes him dangerous, and I think a lot of people seem to miss this point. They say that the way the film ends implies Philipps is justifying the actions of the films protagonist. However, we KNOW the Joker is an unreliable narrator, he’s one of pop culture’s most infamous villains and that being said, both in film and in the real world, few villains see themselves as the villain. Joker is about why HE thinks he’s justified in doing what he does, not why he IS justified in doing what he does because he’s not, and that’s pretty clear from the moment he shoots someone in the head on live TV. Honestly, I think there’s a bit of wilful misinterpretation going on because people don’t like that film

I liked Joker. It was gritty, it was interesting, and sufficiently dark. I didn’t think it was the best film of the year but I understand why it got the praise it did. Obviously, it’s okay that people disagree and DON’T like it. But can we please get a bit more well-acquainted with the middle ground?

It: Chapter Two (Andres Muschietti, 2019)

Okay, essays over. Back to regular scheduled programming of less impassioned reviews. Though I will say I deserved better than my Letterboxd comment of “so you can just fucking roast Pennwyise to death?” getting absolutely 0 traction. One day my grand total of 5 followers, one of which is my sister, will recognise my brilliance (lol).

It’s hard to say how much I really liked this as I think my perspective of how much I did enjoy it is warped by how much I disliked the first one. Child actors really aren’t my thing and the only cast members I warmed to in the first one were Finn Wolfhard and Jack Dylan Grazer whereas the cast here were a lot more likeable, imo. Bill Hader, Jessica Chastain and James Ransone were all great, with the only let down being James Mcavoy; I love him, don’t get me wrong, but I just think he was really miscast in this role.

Another thing I enjoyed a lot more about this instalment was that due to the more episodic/anthology-like/Creepshow-esque structure with each character conquering different monsters from their past individually, the narrative felt like it had a lot more direction, and it didn’t drag as much despite it having a significantly longer runtime. I haven’t read the Stephen King novels and I don’t know much of the pacing issues are down to them so this is me coming at it from a screenwriting angle but it felt as if the climax of the first film just kept going on and on. Every time I thought it had finished there’d be another confrontation between the kids and Pennywise whereas Chapter 2 seemed to have a more definitive third act and I appreciated that.

Rocketman (Dexter Fletcher, 2019)

So, here’s one where I WILL agree with the general online consensus: if Rami Malek got nominated for playing Freddie Mercury last year and Renee got nominated for playing Judy Garland, why the fuck didn’t Taron Egerton get one for playing Elton John? Why didn’t Rocketman itself get a nomination when Judy did? Though I personally preferred Judy because I’m more interested in her story, technically and narratively Rocketman is the better film in my opinion. This was so cleverly edited and sequenced and told with such a brutal honesty on Elton John’s part (it was co-produced by his husband David Furnish and he was heavily involved in everything from the set to the script), that I can only come to the conclusion that the obligatory biopic nomination only comes when the focus of said biopic is no longer with us as a kind of honorary thing. Whilst something like Bohemian Rhapsody was much more of an easy watch (which just goes to show how glossed over Freddie Mercury’s life was in the film), the way the story was told, by the time we got to I’m Still Standing that happy ending felt so earned.

Aladdin (Guy Ritchie, 2019)

You can hate all you want, Prince Ali and Never Had a Friend Like Me are fucking bops and somehow they were even better in this incarnation of the film. I was initially hesitant about Will Smith being cast but rather than trying to impersonate Robin Williams he went his own route and it really worked. He was the highlight of the film. It was undeniably visually stunning too. Madonna’s ex did good.

Us (Jordan Peele, 2019)

Ah, I feel so conflicted when it comes to Us. Like, there were some really strong points and it’s definitely a good standalone horror movie. It’s just you can’t help but compare it to Get Out, and with that unsatisfactory exposition dump ending, I left feeling so disappointed. It seemed to me that Jordan Peele got in a bit over his head here with trying to tie such a vague social metaphor and the actual in-universe plot together, and so ended up leaving both a bit half-baked. He tried to OutPeele himself and for me, it didn’t work.

The doppelgängers were so scary as this ambiguous, vaguely threatening presence that if you are gonna give us a full blown, sit down explanation of why they exist it needs to be really bloody good. And this explanation didn’t make much sense. For example, *SPOILERS AHEAD* I imagine that the tethered just not being able to walk up the escalator into the “real world” was supposed to be some kind of metaphor for social mobility but it’s not fleshed out enough to work. In our world, there are REASONS why the idea of social mobility is flawed. In the film, it’s just like gee, if they chose to just walk up the escalator and go on this murderous rampage now, why couldn't they have decided to do it years ago back before they all lost their fucking minds? Why were they just copying the originals for all those years? HOW did they know what they were doing? See, the metaphor as I understand it is supposed to be that we depend on the oppression of others like us in order to maintain our social status, but not only is this kind of too general a statement to try and use a feature length film to make, I don’t really understand how this dynamic works within the narrative of the film. Technically, there's nothing to stop the tethered and the originals co-existing apart from the tethered deciding not to walk up the fucking escalator. We’re not talking a bourgeoisie-proletariat relationship here. The explanation of it all just being a “government project gone wrong” was too vague seeing as the plot working seemed prior to this to hinge onto something vaguely supernatural and the eventual plan of the doppelgängers seemingly had no purpose or application to the real world like the climax of Get Out did. It just left me feeling kind of like...why? Why did this all happen? When the ending and the twist was that predictable (the old Pretty Little Liars finale style twin switcheroo was blatantly obvious from the mother’s “it’s like she’s a different person” line near the beginning, let’s be real), I was expecting some final revelation that flipped my expectation on its head or at least felt helped things click into place. Instead, it seemed a bit hamfisted and like I was supposed to feel things were deeper and more significant than they actually were.

All that being said, I appreciate that if anyone other than the writer of Get Out had come out with this movie, I probably wouldn’t have these issues. Us was funny, it was fresh, and the concept of doppelgängers is something I’m so glad to see brought back into our modern pop culture database. The people are right, Lupita was incredible in this and it is a travesty that she didn’t get nominated. My sister, who was so creeped out by her vocal performance that she had her fingers in her ears every time Red spoke, still won’t let me attempt an impression of it. And that Fuck the Police sequence? Iconic.

On the Basis of Sex (Mimi Leder, 2019)

I apologise in advance for the shittiest “review” I’ll ever write, but honestly I can’t remember all too much about this film other than it being good. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I’m sorry. You’re a cool lady.

If Beale Street Could Talk (Barry Jenkins, 2019)

EURGH, THIS WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FIM. The score, the shots, the rawness. I imagine it’s devastatingly real. Like, *SPOILERS AHEAD* you think there’s going to be a happy ending but there’s not. It should be disappointing but it’s an honest choice. And side note: fuck those annoying middle aged white ladies in the seats behind me and my friend who lost their shit and started giggling every time the N-word was used, JFC. I hate living in a Tory stronghold.

Cam (Daniel Goldhaber, 2018)

So, as I said, I’m a fan of the whole doppelgänger thing. It freaks me out. The point in this film where the protagonist is approaching her bedroom door whilst she watches HERSELF livestreaming from inside that same bedroom had my heart in my mouth wondering what she was going to encounter on the other side. And you see, the ending of this was a lot more ambiguous than the ending of Us, so I should’ve had less questions. Whilst I’ve seen other people saying it WAS unsatisfactory and that they felt like we were owed more of an explanation, I liked the simplicity of the answer we got and the wiggle room it leaves for our own interpretation. The way I see it, given that we were told by the fan the protagonist meets with in the motel room that *SPOILERS AHEAD* it was a case of some kind of software copying these women’s likenesses to steal their viewers and thus their profits, is that Cam is a kind of a commentary on the capitalist exploitation of women’s bodies and the demand for (and desensitisation towards) sexually violent content; we don't necessarily need to know who is behind the virtual cloning, which is terrifyingly believable given how realistic some of the deepfakes I’ve seen are, because it doesn’t matter. We're basically told money is the motive and we know the kind of lengths some people will go, and someone DID go to in Cam, to in order to make a shitload of money and that’s as true in real life as it is scary. On the other hand, if you want to believe there’s a more supernatural presence behind the events of the film, there’s enough left to the imagination that you can go down that route too. Some films are better left un-exposition dumped and this is the proof. My one criticism, is that, like many films, it would be even better if directed by a woman; I’ve seen people say that its portrayal of online sex work isn’t entirely accurate and though I can’t say with certainty that women working in this industry weren’t consulted in the first place, I imagine a female director would not only be more likely to listen to their concerns but could translate the confusion and fear that comes with being expected to makes oneself sexually desirable to get ahead in the world but then shamed and used for doing so even more viscerally. A few tweaks and it’d be God Tier.

Colette (Wash Westmoreland, 2019)

The costumes, sets, and Keira were so, so stunning. Also it was just an inspiring, beautiful story. The navigation of womanhood, so called “deviant” sexuality and self-expression against the backdrop of early 20th century Paris with a load of Edwardian era tailoring thrown in, it’s everything I could possibly want and more; 10/10 moodboard content.

The Boy (William Brent Bell, 2016)

I can’t believe this film was made in 2016, and it almost makes me move it down to mid tier based on the fact that a lot of the allowances I made for cheese factor I made on the assumption it came out earlier in the decade. BUT, that being said, I was creeped out for a good portion of this film. Most horrors I watch and I’m probably a bit too chilled (a head comes off or some witchy ass ghost screams into the camera and my only thought is some kind of judgement of the SFX), and yet I felt like watching this behind my hands. I don’t know what it is about dolls and puppets, Chucky was my childhood fear even though I never actually watched the film, but something about the uncanny valley of it all makes me just spend the whole time they’re on screen silently praying they don’t start moving or talking. So in a way, given the resolution of the film *SPOILERS AHEAD*, the premise of The Boy was actually a lot scarier to me than the reveal of what was really going on. Someone hiding in my walls? NBD. That demons are real and that they live inside creepy old dolls? Terrifying. Why does everybody I debate this with disagree!? You can't call the police on a demon! At least with a human being you can stick them with the pointy ending of something! Regardless, I enjoyed the journey and trying to work out how things would end and if there IS anybody secretly living inside my house right now, even if you are a supposedly dead murderous family member (last time I checked I didn’t have any of those so I should be all good), kindly vacate. Thanks.

Oprhan (Jaume Collet-Serra, 2009)

So the fact that this film is based on a real life case makes this all the more terrifying. It was a bit campy and tacky at times but the shot of *SPOILERS AHEAD* Esther taking off her makeup in the mirror and revealing her true age will always be iconic. Plus I love Vera Farmiga, even though I did struggle to see her as anyone other than Norma Bates.

First Reformed (Paul Schrader, 2018)

A hauntingly beautiful film with a lot of room for interpretation. There were so many gorgeous shots and so much subtext, this is proper 10/10 media studies essay material.

The Invitation (Karyn Kusama, 2015)

I would say the concept and implications of this film, which don’t fully hit you til the final shots, are a lot better than the film itself. It feels very realistic though and is definitely tense.

As Above, So Below (John Erick Dowdle, 2014)

I was so stoned when I watched this that a lot of the allegory and Dante’s inferno references went straight over my head, and it just seemed absolutely balls to the wall wild. I couldn’t buy that the characters would just KEEP GOING either when things began to get terrifying, like people in horror films really out here making the most nonsensical decisions and it drives me mad. But anyway, it was definitely entertaining and there’s a lot more to it in terms of plot and mythology than most similar quality horrors and I appreciate that

Climax (Gaspar Noe, 2018)

Climax is an interesting one that I think I’ll have to watch again to judge how much I truly like it. As with Us, I know it’s a good film, but I think my expectations of what it was going to be left me slightly disappointed. See, when I read about the premise I assumed that the horror was going to come from seeing the perspective of the characters on said acid trip and that leaves so much room for any kind of terrifying visuals you want whether that be something based in realism or fucked up creatures of the imagination. Buuuuut, it wasn’t that at all; at no point does Climax take place from the first person perspective of any of the characters. Similar to Darren Aronofsky’s Mother, the horror comes from not being able to do anything but watch as everyone starts losing their minds and the situation gets increasingly more dire. It’s pure stress; the acting is so unnervingly good that you really do feel like you’re watching some unintentionally horrific incident take place. That’s not a bad thing-I like it when films make me feel something intense, whether that emotion be positive or negative. It was just a different viewing experience to the one I had precipitated.

Mid Tier

Nativity (Debbie Isitt, 2009)

I find Mr.Poppy hilarious. Does that make me a child? Probably. I’m not really one for Christmas movies but this one’s alright.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (André Øvredal, 2019)

I get that it’s based off a book so it’s not exactly like the “monsters” were a secret in the first place, but for those of us who didn’t read the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books as a kid, my main beef with this film was that they basically revealed all of said monsters in the trailer. Like how It: Chapter 2 spoiled the scene with Beverly in the old lady’s apartment but with EVERY. SINGLE. CREATURE. The only one that wasn’t was the “jangly man” and the only takeaway I have from him is the “jangly in the streets, but is he jangly in the sheets?” Letterboxd comment I read afterwards. Like the creature designs are the selling point of this film and by showing us them all before we’ve even seen it, any anticipation that would’ve built up from their reveal was kind of gone. Plus, it definitely felt like the writers were trying to ride on the hype train of “It” when they wrote this-only they made it even more childish. I mean, I know it was classed as PG-13 in the US which is maybe part of the reason it was so tame but the Woman in Black was a 12 when it was released here and it could be the bias of my 13 year old brain but I remember that being terrifying to watch in the cinema.

Also, I found it weird how *SPOILERS AHEAD* a couple of the main characters died and there didn’t really seem to be any consequences? Idk, maybe that’s because I found them all a bit one dimensional but I’ve seen others make the same criticism so I don’t think so.

Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t a BAD film. It just wasn’t super good.

Charlie’s Angels (Elizabeth Banks, 2019)

I’ve never seen the 2000s Charlie’s Angels so I really don’t have anything to compare to, but I don’t think this was THAT bad. I was fairly entertained throughout and I enjoyed Naomi Scott and Kristen Stewart’s characters. My main issue was the unnecessary inclusion of Noah Centineo, and that weird ass montage at the beginning of stock video shots of girls just...doing miscellaneous things. Why, Elizabeth Banks, why!?

Toy Story 4 (Josh Cooley, 2019)

In some ways, I see why Toy Story 4 was narratively necessary: co-dependency had been a running theme throughout and we needed to see Woody (I feel stupid saying this considering he’s a fucking toy but allow it) realise that he can exist independently of Andy, and that there’s more to life than pleasing somebody else. The way Toy Story 4 ended felt like a satisfying conclusion to his character arc, and as well as the animation being top tier, Forky was a hilarious addition to the cast. However, I don’t think it carried the emotional weight of the 3rd Toy Story, which I think people had accepted as the last instalment and had used to say goodbye to the franchise, and therefore the sceptic in me thinks that the obvious purpose of this addition was a cash grab. I don’t doubt that a lot of people worked incredibly hard on it-I’m just saying that the propelling force behind the film probably wasn’t “the people need to see Woody’s character growth” and that was quite apparent throughout.

Doctor Sleep (Mike Flanagan, 2019)

There were some really beautiful scenes in Doctor Sleep; the astral projection sequences in particular were magnificent and I loved Rebecca Ferguson as the villain. Stylistically, though I didn’t find out he was the director until I was writing this up, you can definitely tell it’s Mike Flanagan, and like I’ve said, he does horror very tastefully. Unfortunately, I just wasn’t all that interested in the premise and I wasn’t hugely invested in grown up Danny Torrance either. The execution was great and the return to the Overlook was brilliant, of course, but the story just wasn’t for me and nothing much sticks out as being a particularly intriguing plot point.

Mary Queen of Scots (Josie Rourke, 2019)

What to say about Mary Queen of Scots other than...yeah, it was alright. I mean, I really should’ve liked it more than I did, because these specific events were part of the Edexcel A-Level history curriculum (Can I get some Rebellion and Disorder Under the Tudors students representation up in here!?) and I usually love seeing history translated onto screen, plus it centred around Margot Robbie and Saoirse Ronan. It was just very...meh. I feel like there’s so much more complex a story here than was told. Both women were undoubtedly a lot more complicated than this film made them out to be and I think to reduce Mary Queen of Scots to a Mary Sue-ish heroine was a disappointing choice. Plus, if we’re gonna talk historical accuracy (which all the racists came out of their caves to discuss at the time), Mary and Elizabeth never actually met; I’m sure there was a more creative way to explore their dynamic than by forcing an interaction that never actually happened.

Apostle (Gareth Evans, 2018)

There were elements of this film I really liked; the mythology behind the cult, I.E what the townsfolk actually worshipped when you stripped away all the secrecy was pretty interesting. However, I felt it depended too much on atmosphere and not enough on plot, and I didn’t warm to any of the characters.

Searching (Aneesh Chaganty, 2018)

It’s difficult because technically, Searching is obviously an ingenious film. My issue is the way it ended, which was imo, super anti-climatic, and honestly pretty predictable in that it seemed like the writers just went out of their way *SPOILERS AHEAD* to make the culprit the person viewers would’ve ruled out by default for shock value, and then work out WHY that person was the culprit from there. I was expecting something a lot darker to be behind the protagonist’s daughter’s disappearance-irl, these situations usually are-and so maybe it’s just me being a bit of a sadist but I was disappointed by how things resolved themselves.

Deliver Us from Evil (Scott Derrickson, 2014)

So, this isn’t boring. It’s interesting to have a horror navigated through the lens of something as procedural as a police investigation. But ultimately, the acting isn’t great, there’s very few scary moments, and it’s a little cheesy. As horrors go, it’s pretty shallow-it is what it says on the tin.

Dumplin’ (Anne Fletcher, 2018)

I watched this right at the beginning of the year and I can’t remember all too much about it, but I remember not hating it? See, looking at the cast, Odeya Rush and Dove Cameron are both in it which would suggest I’d come away hating MYSELF instead but yeah...I got nothing.

Lights Out (David F.Sandberg, 2016)

The concept is very scary, the execution not so much, and the actual storyline is a little cheesy. I found myself just being like OH MY GOD, IT’S BELLA’S DAD FROM TWILIGHT! And then *SPOILERS AHEAD* getting mad that they did Charlie Swan dirty like that by killing him off in the first 10/15 minutes.

The Goldfinch (John Crowley, 2019)

So I LOVED the book of The Goldfinch. I read it after the Secret History and even though most people seem to prefer the latter, the former hit me right in the sweet spot. The length was almost one of my favourite things about it; I felt by the end that I came to know the character so well he felt like someone I knew in real life. When I heard Ansel Elgort was cast as Theo, I was really happy; I’m not necessarily a huge fan of him as an actor, I've only ever seen him in shitty teen-y dramas which I forced myself to like at the time E.G. The Fault in Our Stars and Divergent, but he looks kind of exactly how I pictured Theo looking. Almost like an Evanna Lynch as Luna Lovegood situation. And then honestly, the actual film came around, and I found myself much preferring the young Theo sections. I get that Theo is quite a muted character and I hate to properly slate anyone’s performance, but Ansel as him felt a bit flat. The casting in general was pretty whack; I love Nicole Kidman but she didn’t feel right as Mrs.Barbour and it seemed that they added a lot to her character to the detriment of Hobie’s character who was a much bigger part of Theo’s life in the book. Also, can we talk about Finn Wolfhard as Boris? I’m sorry, but that accent was godawful. Really bad. Boris’ accent was always supposed to be kind of ambiguous but this was just butchered Russian. Another gripe that my friend and I, who also read the book, had with the Vegas section of the film (which was otherwise probably the best part) was that they never properly explored the complexity of Boris and Theo’s relationship. Obviously I’m not saying that I want 2 minors to shoot a sex scene but it could have been referenced when they reunite as adults because the kiss on the head when they part in Vegas seemed misleadingly platonic. It was heavily implied in the book that there was some kind of love that went beyond friendship between the two and I didn’t get that in the film at all.

Ultimately, when you try and adapt a book as long as the Goldfinch, you’re always going to have some pacing issues and people complaining that things were left out or that X or Y character didn’t have enough screen time. But in ways, I think the fault here was trying to stay TOO faithful in the limited time available. They definitely could have focussed less on certain relationships and more on others, and when it comes down to it, I think we lost a lot of the grittiness of the original book for the sake of pretty visuals.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (Quentin Tarantino, 2019)

Don’t get me wrong, this would 100% be in shit tier if it wasn’t for the last hour or so of the film and all the Manson lore which is so disappointing because I love Tarantino films and I love that era. As for the first couple of hours, I loved the vibe and I love Margot Robbie, and I think it was very respectful towards the Tate family (if anything radiated through the screen more than anything else it was Sharon Tate’s sweetness), but I just wasn’t that invested in Leo or Brad’s characters-it all just felt a bit pointless. I really like Brad Pitt and even that couldn’t really save it for me. Maybe if you took away the remaining 2 hours and 20 minutes of Leo DiCaprio making vague allusions to his own career to a girl only slightly younger than the combined age of all girlfriends past I’d enjoy it more but then I don’t think there’d be much footage left. I guess we should just be grateful that Tarantino managed to refrain from unnecessarily sprinkling the N-word into every other line of his script this time, right?

Also.

SO. MANY. FEET.

But then again, this did result in Brad publicly mocking Tarantino’s foot fetish during his speech at the SAG awards so...I’ll allow it. Sometimes kink shaming is okay. Especially when it’s this guy:

Isn’t it Romantic (Todd Strauss-Schulson, 2019)

I guess as romantic comedies go it wasn’t AWFUL because it was self-aware but still just not my cup of tea and it didn’t really make me laugh. Plus, I feel like it did just follow the plot of a conventional rom-com in the end so...what was it all for, you know?

Green Room (Jeremy Saulnier, 2016)

I think my disappointment with this film was a case of too high expectations. It wasn’t as gory as I hoped, in fact, there was very little on screen gore at all. I was just expecting something very messed up and I didn’t get that. But then again we did get Maeby from Arrested Development singing a fuck Nazis song so I guess that was a nice surprise?

Shit Tier

Birdbox (Susanne Bier, 2018)

First the disappointment of the Goldfinch, and now Birdbox (although they were chronologically the other way round but for the sake of this review, let’s just ignore that). It really is a bad year for bird films.

It’s weird because when this first came out I remember everyone hyping it up and making memes about it and stuff and then I actually watched it and dear god, it was boring. Honestly, who paid you lot to pretend you cared enough about it enough to make content? And where can I get in on this action?

I mean it didn’t start off terribly but then they killed off SARAH FUCKING PAULSON and somehow managed to make SANDRA FUCKING BULLOCK unlikeable. How does one do that? The mind baffles.

Pet Sematary (Kevin Kolsch & Dennis Widmyer, 2019)

The kid acting was bad, the leads were meh and there wasn’t one creepy moment. This should be SO MUCH MORE hard hitting than it actually was given the subject matter and it just fell completely flat. I will say, though, *SPOILERS AHEAD* that the ending was appropriately doom and gloom and even though I’ve seen lots of others say they hate it it was probably the only thing I actually liked.

The Lion King (Jon Favreau, 2019)

Seth Rogen and Billie Eichner were the only good things about this which is sad because I fucking love Donald Glover and I was so excited when he was cast as Simba. Like, it was pretty but empty and unnecessary and I’m not one of these people who think CGI remakes always have to be this way-I loved Dumbo and I liked the live-action Jungle Book too! I just think the people who made this cared too much about good CGI and realism and less about heart. There was no personality whatsoever and it’s such a waste when you think about the fact that they had Donald and Beyonce on board.

Red Sparrow (Francis Lawrence, 2018)

Eurgh, I hated this. I think Jennifer Lawrence is stunning and I usually love her films but every shot of her in this felt so male-gaze oriented, even the ones which were sexually violent, which I found to be completely unnecessary in the first place. At times it felt almost torture-porn-y which was not what I expected at all seeing as the marketing made it seem like some kind of female empowerment movie.

It Comes at Night (Trey Edward Shults, 2017)

I literally can’t remember fucking anything from this film. Clearly there is a very, very fine line between atmospheric and boring.

Warm Bodies (Jonathan Levine, 2013)

Maybe it’s because I watched this about 6 years too late and the whole human-girl-falls-in-love-with-supernatural-creature hype train has long since left the station but I couldn’t even finish it. Cutesy necrophilia ain’t for me, sorry Nicholas Hoult. Still love ya. You’ll always be Tony Stonem to me xoxo

Million Dollar Baby (Clint Eastwood, 2005)

I’m pretty sure this movie won a lot of awards so I’m sure this is a very unpopular opinion but the way this film ended was so...depressing. SO depressing. Did it have to be THAT depressing? The Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode outsold.

This is the range Oscar winning actress Hilary Swank wishes she had.

Would You Rather (David Guy Levy, 2013)

Started off well but became cheesy and predictable as it went on. The acting wasn’t great either plus there was another unnecessary attempted rape scene here too.

Christmas with the Kranks (Joe Roth, 2004)

So I watched this movie in the run up to Christmas because my best friend and her mum were referencing it like it was this cult classic (which I guess for some reason it is?) and I’m sorry to her and her mum but what the hell is this shit?! It’s not even so bad it’s good. It’s just bad.

The plot, the characters, EVERYTHING, it’s ridiculous on every level. I wasn’t into it enough to suspend my disbelief that anyone’s neighbours would actually care THAT much that they weren’t celebrating Christmas. Go on your damn cruise, take me with you whilst you're at it, ease my seasonal depression! I wouldn’t mind so much if it was funny or if the protagonists were likeable but it wasn’t and they’re not. Nobody’s actions made any sense. It didn’t put me in the Christmas spirit at all it just made me angry that Jamie Lee Curtis’ agent made her do this shit. She’s a scream queen goddess and she deserves better.

ANYWAY.

I’m now realising that I should have started on shit tier and worked my way up to god tier because now this post has ended on the rather sour note of me getting worked up over Christmas with the Kranks, lol. As always, these are just my opinions and I love to hear other people’s; when it comes to something like this, it’s all a matter of preference and there really isn’t a right or wrong answer, so I’m open to discussion!

With the Oscars less than a week away now I rushed a little to get this out on time, so apologies in advance if anything doesn’t make any sense or there’s any typos, I will look back over it at some point over the next couple of days to check.

But if you read to the end thank you! And stay tuned for my overview of Paris Haute Couture Week S/S 2020 if that’s something you’re interested in as that will most likely be next post!

Lauren x

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australian-desi · 5 years ago

Text

Asur - Review/Reaction

Okay so I loved it! This show has changed me as a person somehow. But honestly speaking it was fucked (some people said more fucked than sacred games but I dont watch that so I dont have a reference). The background of Hindu mythology was used amazingly and holy shit the actors. Guys the actors need a round of applause coz they were simply amazing. I’m still shaking after watching the last episode I literally finished the show in 1.5 days so like safe to say I was hooked. I would also like to say that the show itself was very well paced, at no point did I think that the story was going too slow or too fast, everything was perfectly timed and perfectly revealed. I will be cutting this post for a more in-depth review - and after the cut everything are

Also before you guys watch - this show is very dark - it depicts suicidal tendencies, gory murders and gruesome scenes - things that will make you lowkey vomit (I have a pretty high tolerance for these things so I was fine, but just in case you aren’t it’s good to know coz they spring those up on you)

SPOILLLLERRRRSSSSS

Actors/Characters:

Arshad Warsi as Dhananjay ‘DJ’ Rajpoot: This is the first time I’ve seen Arshad Warsi in a non-comic role, and I was honestly truly blown away. He was simply amazing. Now coming to character. The main message of this show was that ‘evil lives in all of us’. But the way they revealed it was quite phenomenal. DJ is shown to be the ‘innocent’ ‘good guy’ and how is was wrongfully framed for his wife’s murder, but is still working to find the actual serial killer - not because to save himself, but in order to save other people. It is then shown, that he had done something ‘bad’ ‘immoral’ and ‘wrong’ in his life - 10 years ago he caused a 15-year-old to go to jail rather than a juvenile detention centre for the murder of his father. He did this by faking his birth certificate and forging evidence - since there was no evidence to connect the child to the murder (but the audience knows that he did it). Thus, begins the game for his repentence.

Barun Sobti as Nikhil Nair: So here’s the ting - I genuinely forget how good of an actor our boi is (don’t blame me I’ve spent the last 8 years, watching him go “what the” and “Khushi Kumari Gupta”, throwing anger fits and tantrums), but holy shit I was blown away. Barun has this ability to make his audience feel every emotion he’s going through - anger, sadness, despair, happiness, joy, relief - everything, he is a brilliant actor. Nikhil was an amazing character. He was an all-in-all protagonist. He had a loving relationship with his wife and a daughter that he loved very much. However, when he is kidnapped by the serial killer himself - he is given an option - to either let his wife and kid die, or become an accomplice to murder, where he meticulously plans the murder and the killer goes and does the job. He chooses the latter, thus, blurring the line between good and bad. It is also interesting considering the man that saved lives ended up taking them. The final test for him is when in order to save three hostages, he is asked to sacrifice his daughter. He does that and it is shown that due to the trauma they have faced, one of the hostages shoots the other, making Nikhil regret his decision instantly - the killer thus proving his point, human nature is evil, that even the good turn to evil in hardship. Nikhil blames DJ’s deeds for his daughter’s death, and Naina leaves him, blaming him for their daughter’s death.

Ridhi Dogra as Nusrat Saeed: Nusrat is shown to be the ex-gf/ex-love etc. of Nikhil, before he left CBI without telling her about where he was going and for how long. In all these years she has been unable to move on from him and has replaced her love life with work as a forensics expert. She is shown to be very talented in her job and is shown to have a friendly relationship with everyone - although, in a hallucination, Nikhil is shown to feel guilty for what he did to her and deep down does love her, but loves his wife more

Anupriya Goenka as Naina Nair: Naina is shown to be a doting mother, and a loving wife, who has issues that although her husband loves her very much, wants to rejoin the CBI, even if he has to leave her for it. She ends up going to him and is shown to be a very talented software engineer working in cyber-security. She then ends up helping the CBI in order catch the killer

Vishesh Bansal as 15-year-old Shubh Joshi: This kid holy shit. I watched him in IPPKND as Aarav and some other serials here and there, but man he blew me away. Like I was sitting there shook half the time as to how can someone be this talented. Now Shubh Joshi was who this story was about - the asura, the rakshas, the one who was awaiting for Vishnu to return on this Earth to vanquish him. When Shubh’s mother was pregnant with him, his father the head priest wanted a ‘devta-like putra’ he wanted a god on the form of the Earth to the point, he made his kundli in advance and did not allow for his wife to give birth until the right month. He failed, as his wife slipped down the stairs, and ended up giving birth 2 days before he wanted her to. She gave birth in the month in which demons were said to be born. Thus, Shubh turned out to be extraordinary - he learnt how to walk at 2 days old, he was able to read the scriptures by the time he was 3, and had an IQ of above 160. His dad used to curse him, beat him, and call him an ‘asur’ to the point he started believing it. When his grandfather took him to the psychologist - he was diagnosed with autism, causing him to not have the same social skills and unable to connect with others as well as other kids. His father’s abuse caused his brain to become extremely violent, and it is then shown that he goes to a skeleton and breaks its index finger, then finding a dog and burning it alive, with no emotion. At 15 he poisons his father causing his father to fall into the river to his death - he drops the lota in which he was poisoning him with getting rid of the evidence. However, DJ sees this, and sees no remorse for his father’s death, he seems unaffected by it, and continues on his day as normal. DJ then fakes evidence and his birth report - causing him to go to jail rather than receive therapy and counselling for a better future. In jail he becomes a leader - he is able to convince people to let the evil in them take over the good because that’s what human tendency is. It is what we are meant to do and that those who do not entertain the evil in them, deserve to die.

Amey Wagh as present-day Shubh Joshi: Gonna say it here - A+ casting. He looks exactly how you would expect Shubh Joshi to look when he is older. So Shubh Joshi is now a serial killer - who kills people from the horoscope of greatness, people who do good deeds - he does this to send a message to Vishnu to come on earth and now thinks of himself to be mighty and powerful as an asur should be. He is shown to now have a huge following to the point where Nikhil and DJ all think of him to look different, but he instead, is their coworker, Rasool Sheikh the hacker in the CBI. As he is quiet and aloof, no one suspects him, and thus, he is able to conduct these murders with absolute precision of planning. When Lolark finds out that he is the real Shubh, he ends up killing him, right after his child’s death and the CBI arrest the wrong Shubh who was shown to be Kesari - the first follower of Shubh in jail. The show ends when Shubh looks deep into DJ’s eyes reminding him of his 15-year-old self, causing DJ to realise he is indeed the real Shubh.

The rest of the cast and crew were equally amazing but I just mentioned the main ones otherwise we’ll be here for days

Things I liked:

I loved the use of Hindu mythology, they also narrated some stories in Shubh’s POV questioning whether the gods were always right - was Vishnu right into tricking the asur’s into their death for no reason, was Krishna right, knowing about the war and not being able to stop it?

Also loved how in depth the characters were - Shubh was horrible in what he did, but by writing in a way that if the things that happened to him hadn’t had happened owing to his developmental disorder he would’ve been a ‘good’ person.

The fact that it wasn’t Shubh’s complete fault that he thought this way, and the fact he had autism + the system really failing him showed us that not all bad people are born bad - sometimes situations make them that way. And some don’t even know the difference between the right and wrong choice - what if some people do truly think evil is bad.

I loved the concept of the main protagonists being good people but being pushed to embrace the evil - especially when Nikhil, who thought he did a good deed by saving the hostages to prove to Shubh that inherently good people do truly exist and he sees one of the hostages kill the other - truly shakes this belief. It shows that even after being forced to accomplice to murders - he still had hope, a hope that was brutally crushed

I loved the cast as well, they all had good chemistry and Barun and Arshad were amazing.

Things I disliked:

The female characters weren’t explored at all. Nusrat’s whole arc revolved around Nikhil and finding the killer’s. There were some episodes where she wasn’t even there. And a lot of her character was an accessory to Nikhil’s and DJ’s characters. On the other hand, Naina’s character was only a mother and a wife. In fact she joins the CBI to help them find her husband, she isn’t even leading the investigation or anything. Also in the first half of the show she was truly very annoying and just deserved better in general rather than just being the parallel love interest. They should’ve done more with the female characters. What was stopping them from being as brilliant or as great as the male characters. Nikhil and DJ were described as geniuses and out of this world. While Nusrat just helped.

The amount of Shuddh hindi - I know he’s a pandit’s son and his whole thing is religion he will talk in Shuddh hindi. But honestly, I wish they gave english translations or show it with pictures or something else coz it was very very very hard for me to understand some things and I lost a lot of context

That is all - enjoy this review hopefully I didn’t spoil the whole show (I definitely did), and have a great day

#asur #barun sobti #ridhi dogra #arshad warsi #anupriya goenka

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 4 years ago

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Akudama 2

I think one or two of the reviews I read of this anime picked up the names of each episode are based on movies and it seems they’re right. Namely, episode 1 is Se7en while episode 2 is Reservoir Dogs...so they’re crime movies specifically.

Kanto, Hikari etc. are the names of certain shinkansen.

Playing with your own blood in front of a no violence sign and smoking in front of a no smoking sign…LOL. So edgy and yet simultaneously so fun.

…*blinks* Welp, that OP was…an experience.

…hey, Funi are hypocrites…they gave HypMic a language warning, but not this???

Come to think of it, this anime is already exactly how I’d imagine the HypMic MTC episode to go…but with more cyberpunk, of course.

…why is “are you gay?” an insult…? I thought we were past this point years ago.

…what’s up with these puppets? The shark’s shirt says “fool” on it…

The rabbit and shark’s shirts keep changing every time they spin. When they talk about poverty/rich, the rabbit shirts says “poor” and the shark’s “rich” (or something of the sort). When the shark talks about Kansai burning to the ground, his shirt says “nervousness”.

Wow, Hiroshima vers. 2…Rabbit: peace/shark:war

Hoodlum’s just a sycophant…

…ooh, so if the girl and Hoodlum aren’t part of the plan…they could f*** s*** up?

LOL, plasma shield.

“Lil’ stick”? That’s a jitte! A non-bladed weapon which is still plenty nasty by itself!

Ken the 390??? I knew UraShimaSakataSen were on this ED and I knew this was a rap ED because I heard it in AMQ before I was able to finish this ep, IIRC, but I didn’t expect the guy from BATTLE BATTLE BATTLE....

Taiso 2

A-hah! I was right on the money! Tomoyo is an actress!

Oh, it’s senu. That’s an old-timey way of negating your verbs (it’s shinai now), hence “retires not”.

I think they’re hailing Minamino as the first winner in 45 years if I understood the newspaper article on the screen right…?

Does this mean Minamino will join Leo and Aragaki…? The OP shows him with them.

The AnimeLab translation of the title is “Duelling Samurai”, but the translation on the hardsubs is “Rock-Bottom Samurai”. The word donzoko indicates the latter is correct.

I think Leo said “Rei-chan”, not “Rachel”. It’s a bit hard to hear because he’s eating though…

I think there’s only one line where he doesn’t talk like a ninja in his intro to Ayu and that’s the line where he uses keigo instead.

I think the card says “acupuncturist Kawa????” (can’t read the last character due to Britney’s thumb), but…welp, Britney’s kinda disturbing in their (not sure what pronoun to use) own way. There also appears to be an address in Ikebukuro on the card.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Leo learnt how to speak Japanese fluently from ninja movies – that’s a pretty common anime trope, like in Tada-kun’s Rainbow Samurai case. “Always make your heart rainbow!” and all that jazz.

…so that’s what the card said - Kawamoto Orthopedic Clinic.

“My shoulder would…”

Seriously, this anime is just an excuse to look at Aragaki in different outfits (and also shirtless) and I love it, LOL. (I’m such a simpleton.)

Ah…sometimes, people ask me about the days when I used to learn piano and I bring up the fact there is such a thing as “overpractice”. I thought gymnasts would know when they hit their limits in that regard, but…I guess they don’t because they’re so consumed in their passion, or they can’t see what they’re doing to themselves (because it occurs under the skin and doesn’t ache)…?

Minamino is basically Yurio…LOL.

That’s a cute, laidback ED. It’s called Yume? (yes, with the “?”) and it’s by Hatena, hence Leo’s shirt saying “Hatena”.

Welp, I don’t think anything supernatural will happen anymore, but…it’s still a fun anime. They toned down BB too, which should please a huge number of reviewers who found him obnoxious.

Yashahime 3

Hitokon? Short for “hito control” (hito = person)? Update: It seems the name was also kanji for “flying head root”.

“…puts one to sleep.”

“…from a place like that?”

Can a Dream Butterfly steal memories?

Moriarty 2

“Colum” (sic).

These CGI horses are gonna bug me, aren’t they…?

There is this sentiment that people need to be “saved” from poverty, especially when it comes down to African and Asian people living in slums (these days). I get the same feeling from this.

Maou-jou 3

Free advertising for Maou-jou’s home magazine! LOL!

I was wondering why those things were called “Show the Mary”…remember Mezo Shouji from Boku no Hero Academia? Same pun (the walls have ears and the doors have eyes, or something of the sort).

LOL, instead of yokudekimashita (literally, “you did good”) it’s makura ni narimashita (“you made [the book] into a pillow”). The common sentence ending for verbs means it’s funnier in Japanese, I think.

…argh! I can’t read all of Alazif’s info because of the hardsubs! Umm…”Current worry: Princess” and “Worry of the past hundred years: Destroying the demon clan” is in the box next to the logo. “Powerful magic techniques are recorded inside this book, so the demons feared it and sealed it away as a ‘forbidden grimoire’.”/”Currently, under the control of the princess, they’ve been bestowing magic and magic techniques to her, so they haven’t been used for the purpose they were made for and they’re wishing the princess would use them for not-so-stupid things” (I don’t know what pronoun to give Alazif, so I gave them 3rd person “them)…ah, someone translated the stuff for me! (That saves me a lot of time.) So Alazif is a “he”, huh?

OHKO to Demon Cleric, LOL.

SAN…? Oh, “sanity”?

Oh, Demon Cleric’s ears are black goat ears. No wonder you can’t see ‘em.

This sword is like Ex from Princess, ‘Tis Time for Torture!

HypMic 4

From here until episode 6-ish, I’ll be paying extra attention to characters’ role language. I normally do that, but I picked this anime for an assignment because I knew it had a lot of examples…yes, you heard me right. An assignment! I should be happy, but I’m wondering if my taste is going to get roasted by the normies or if I’ve gone too far with my unabashed love…

I was discussing with some of my peeps in a Discord server and…is it possible MTR will get an ED from here on out if you divide the episodes up for an almost equal amount for each division? We’ll have to wait and see.

…Oof. I’m sort of scared for this episode. It’s gonna have swearing galore…and yup, there it is, right out the gate.

Wait, why not translate wakagashira? It just means “young head” or “2nd in command”.

…well, at least they got some variation in their swearing this time…?

Hmm, normally the translation is “rabbit cop” or something toned down like that. They dialled it up to “rabbity-ass cop”. (Yakuwarigo: Samatoki = na, on the whole = very, very slang – as a former naval officer, you would expect Riou to speak formally, but he speaks as casually as almost everyone else (yamero etc.))

I’ve never seen anyone refer to Samatoki as “Kashira”. *laser stares Rentei for guest VA roles*

(Yakuwarigo: Samatoki (?) = zo)

“…why don’t you ask the cops to deal with it?” – Uh, Samatoki? Jyuto is the cop. (Well, a cop.)

I still have no idea why they subtitle the laughing…

Wait, if there’s a casino…is Dice there?!

…yup, right on cue. I didn’t think Tom and co. would be there too.

Oh, LOL. HypMic is a tourist trap anime = see those buns Tom’s eating? They’re chuukaman (Chinese buns). Makes sense in Chinatown.

It took me several watches to realise who’d passed by, but it’s…MTC in formal clothes?! (You can see part of Jyuto’s face, just to confirm it.)

Why are they wearing glasses? Even Jyuto’s wearing different glasses to the usual, LOL.

I learnt how to do some of the casino stuff while trying to get a job as a gaming customer service assistant in a huge casino joint one time. In a sense, this brings me back to then. (Update: I mean, the sound of the roulette, the sight of the board, the chips and the like. That’s what takes me back.)

(Yakuwarigo: Dice slurs his words a lot, especially when yelling things along the lines of “Please lend me moneyyyyyyyyyyyyy!” This is also true in the game.)

Dice seems to have jumped straight to “Riou”, rather than “Riou-san”.

I wonder if anyone will ever elaborate on that incident where Dice and Riou met?

(Yakuwarigo: Samatoki speaks coarsely, but not outright swearing in the source language…for an example, he says kussotare when roped into being Jakurai’s “female counterpart” for the ARB Halloween event, but he doesn’t do anything of the sort here.)

Even Ramuda uses “san” with Samatoki, most likely to emulate how Samatoki calls himself “oresama” (but with lower formality).

Ramuda-chin? That’s new.

Yakuwarigo: Gentaro spoke normally, just with desu/masu. Maybe the “perchance” was to make it blend in with his -de aru?

Uh-oh…Ramuda’s favours always are things like “dress up for me” and “hang out with me”, if the game is any indication. (One of them happens to be how Ichiro was roped into being a sorta-Kirito for the ARB Halloween event.)

This CGI…it’s not the jankiest, but it is gonna bug me ever so slightly.

I’ve noticed a lot of people in the English-speaking fandom, when they watched the anime, took a shine to MTC (because they seem to embody the entire “refuge in audacity” thing they’ve picked up on…plus that one hamster lyric people got attached to). You can see them being all “cop/gangster husbands” here if that’s your gig – it’s kind of my gig, but to be real HypMic is not a scene where I ship dudes. I’m sorry, but I just like watching pretty boys kick butt.

What warranted the dramatic glasses drop…? (LOL anyway)

That whistle…LOL. It’s like “Look at my boy fight” and “Riou’s got some sweet fightin’ moves” rolled up in one.

For some reason, when I saw the sign for the Organised Crime department, I heard the Student Council theme from Boueibu play in my head…? (Remember that harpsichord theme?) *shrugs* I dunno why that happened.

Hmm…they crossed out the subtitles using Swedish letters instead of strikethrough, huh? Didn’t know that was a limitation.

(Yakuwarigo: Jyuto = dazo)

“Wouldya look at that forlorn mug of his?” – Seeing a man taller than you (Riou is a good 190 or so cm, mind you, making him the tallest member of his division above Samatoki’s 180-something and Jyuto’s 170-something) making a sort of demented puppy-dog face…LOL.

(Yakuwarigo: Jyuto elevated himself to kimasuyo…maybe to win back Riou’s favour?)

(Yakuwarigo: The translation elevated Samatoki’s “nanda” to “the f***”. “Nanda” is not that bad – it’s casual, but doesn’t imply swearing like “ittai” is supposed to mean “the hell”.)

(Yakuwarigo: Jyuto doesn’t finish when he says “ore wa hanashi ga”. That’s called an omission, plain as that may be.)

(Yakuwarigo: Taihendaze!...Maybe that’s a bit far to call it “we’re f**ked”…? It could just be “we’re doomed!” or “we’ve got trouble!”)

(Yakuwarigo: Jyuto uses desune. He’s the most feminine of the trio by virtue of being the smallest height-wise and most polite due to his job, but he seems to bounce between casual and polite a lot.)

…wow, even the rap lyrics have the F bomb…and this time, you can see the evidence.

Natsu no mushi = bugs in the summer. Not a perfect match, but it works. (Notably, things like Gentaro’s speech and rap lyrics don’t play by the same yakuwarigo rules because you can play characters within it – e.g. the evil doctor Jakurai sometimes plays. I’ve noticed most of the songs use casual or whatever rhymes, even for someone like Doppo who’s considered more polite than most.)

…Despite the swearing…that song slaps, man! That’s great.

MTC seems to have more tragedy on average than other divisions. This is because FP and BB are quite light-hearted and mostly family-friendly with hidden depths, but MTR mostly has stalker stories. Update: That’s when they’re focussing on MTR solo. FP’s currently could get pretty dark soon and a lot of the dark/tragic stuff is not actually going to make the anime because it’s in the drama tracks/manga.

My gosh, we got to see Nemu animated!

Okay, I’m not well-versed in yakuza slang but kumicho = boss, so Samatoki would have to answer to a kumicho.

(Yakuwarigo: Notably, when Riou bows, he doesn’t elevate his speech.)

(Yakuwarigo: Jyuto = desukane)

…and randomly, rock solo postcard memory away from the sunset. (LOL) (Also, I believe I befriended Zainou during my time on WordPress. This episode title really does mean things, in a certain sense.)

Ah, it did switch! It’s just…uh, gone to an MTC version of itself (and it has the same name, “Kizuna”). So that means we wait another 6 episodes for MTR. On the other hand…what will the final version be? A whole cast version? A different song? No song at all? *shrugs* Only the future can tell us these things. (Also, why is Jyuto so loud…? That’s why I’m not a bigger fan of him. Much like Ramuda’s minna genki?, his iconic quotes like “In the building!” are so loud and silly-sounding, you just can’t get them out of your head.)

The cityscape in the middle of the disc at the ED’s start seems to have changed. I would assume that’s a Yokohama skyline.

Keiichi Nakagawa is the voice of Rentei…I should stop burning myself on guest VA appearances, this guy’s a rookie. This Nouzenkazura VA (Kenji Hamada) though is voiced by the guy who does Otegine in Touken Ranbu and isn’t as much of a rookie as Rentei’s.

Notably, where BB do the “BB sign” (as it seems to be known), MTC do a finger gun. MTR have the wolf fang, but…what is FP’s, then? Update: It’s a peace sign to the side to make an F.

Today’s new music was “Red Zone (Don’t Test da Master)”, by KLOOZ and DJ WATARAI.

*cringes at the airhorn* *briefly presses fingers to forehead, as if going to massage temples, but then removes them* The airhorn reminds me of crazy sport fans. Crazy anime fans are more civil than them, which is one reason why I don’t follow sports on the regular.

Update: Oh! The pond owl cafe in episode 2! It means Ikebukuro!...Sort of. Fukurou rhymes with ‘bukuro and ike = pond.

Akudama 3

Hmm? Is it just me or is that T in the code the kanji for “bird” (tori)?

“It’s where I belong.” – I know my reason for pursuing Japanese is a purely selfish reason – so I can stay above others in the topics I think matter to me and pursue the endless natural high that comes from the thrill of translation (which may be all one reason or two, depending on how you look at it).

Oh, the bunny and shark again.

The bunny’s shirt said “life” at one point, I didn’t understand the shark’s though.

At one point, shark: Ka (from “Kansai”), bunny: ken (authority).

At the end, shark: heaven, bunny: hell. These broadcasts look like NHK broadcasts at the end.

Most of these words are katakana, making them look foreign.

Kansai 300, 25-1.

“Move-you-s**t!” – It…seems a bit out of character for Swindler to say the swear word there.

Taiso 3

That CGI…is not the greatest.

According to Moon Land, gymnastics operates on a deduction/addition system. You add points for difficulty, but deduct points for errors like how Minamino’s feet are apart.

*sees montage* - Those CGI scenes really take out the budget, huh…?

Gymnastics moves are named after their creators…kinda like scientific names and finders.

There was a lot of commentary in Moon Land so I’m not sure what the moves are called from memory (the dialogue always did that for me), but having the reactions speak for themselves…I think the anime team has enough faith the reactions will convey everything. They did, by the way.

You can see the bone at the base of Minamino’s neck, under the skin…it’s sort of scary.

The fact you couldn’t see Jotaro’s eyes for a shot or two…that kind of unnerved me and built tension.

Oh! The men in black appear after the credits!

#simulcast commentary #akudama drive #HypMic #Hypnosis Mic #Hypnosis Microphone #Hypnosis Mic: Division Rap Battle - Rhyme Anima #Taiso Samurai #hanyo no yashahime #Moriarty the Patriot #Yuukoku no Moriarty #maou-jou de oyasumi #Chesarka watches Taiso Samurai #Chesarka watches Yuukoku no Moriarty #Chesarka watches HypMic #Chesarka watches Akudama Drive #Chesarka watches Yashahime #Chesarka watches Maou-jou

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