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nat-20s · 2 days ago

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i know it's a little late, but everyone please enjoy this soft and sappy new year's fourteendonna fic!!! Also on ao3, if you prefer!

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As per New Year’s tradition, The Doctor and Donna were the only two members of the household that were awake past midnight. This year had been different than last, because at least this year Shaun had given a rather sleepy “woo!” and kiss to Donna at midnight, before promptly once again passing out on the couch. Sylvia and Rose had made no attempt to make it that late, the two of them staunchly morning people. Donna had to assume that that particular quality skipped a generation, as she had never once gotten out of bed before 10am of her own volition. Granddad had tried, bless his heart, but it was barely 9:30 before he gave a little wave and apology, heading to his room.

She would take it to her grave, but she sort of adored these quiet moments where it was just her and The Doctor. There was a sense of guilt about it, wanting to bogart his time for herself. However, this was both a: the only time that The Doctor would actually talk and b: something that Donna was about 78% sure he enjoyed just as much as her. It didn’t hurt that they were currently leaned up against the kitchen counter, pressed shoulder to shoulder, slowly nursing their sparkling apple cider. Donna would swear that she had a pleasant buzz in the back of her head going on, despite no one even bothering to buy champagne this year. Half of them couldn’t have it, and the other half didn’t actually want it. What a ridiculous, brilliant family she had.

Maybe it was the fact that it was one am, or that it was New Year’s, or just that she felt remarkably loose-limbed, but she simply had to break the silence. “So, spaceman, this is your second new year’s day with us. How’re you feelin about it?”

The Doctor turns to face her directly, pointing the gold sparkle 2025 glasses (that were physically incapable of looking anything other than deeply silly) he was wearing straight at her. There’s a moment, so brief she almost misses it, of contemplation, before it’s replaced by a too big goofy grin. “Oh, I’m just dandy.”

For that, she nudges him with her elbow. “Come off it, it’s only us. How do you actually feel about all...this?”

She waves in the general direction of the house, and makes the assumption that he gets she’s not talking about the furniture. His smile decreases to something more honest and his eyes, well, she hates to say that they twinkle, but they sort of do. “Good. Mostly. Yeah.”

Reasonably, she shouldn’t needle. Reasonably, she should leave it at that, enjoy finishing her cup of sugar that claims to have vitamins, and get them both to bed. Behaving reasonably wasn’t what made her and The Doctor best friends, though. Instead, she decides to change tactics. “When’s the last time we went stargazing?”

The Doctor’s expression morphs to the kind of concern that’s usually reserved for life-threatening situations. Or when she says she’s going grocery shopping without him. “Donna, we went out with Granddad last night? You’re not having memory-”

“-No, dummy, I mean proper stargazing. TARDIS, open sky, no atmosphere type of star gazing. ”

The crow’s feet around the corners of The Doctor’s eyes curl up, prominent enough that Donna can see them even with the obstruction of the glasses. If they weren’t in the middle of a conversation, she’d probably stroke them with her thumb. As it is, she simply listens as he lights up, saying, “Oh! Not since we had the run-in with the giant Artemisians.”

“God, that’s right. It was nice to have a breather, you know, after a giant shrimp tries to drown you.”

“I keep telling you that they didn’t understand the concept of not having gills, there truly was no ill will there.”

“And I keep telling you, a lack of ill will is worth sod all when a giant shrimp is trying to drown you. Unconventional methods of saying ‘hello’ are significantly less friendly when they almost kill you.”

The Doctor has the gall to roll his eyes at her, and she wet willies him. “Ey!,” is all he gets out before she sets down her drink down behind her, grabs a thermos, and sets out for the backyard. The Doctor scrambles behind her, even willing to take off his little party hat and absurd glasses before he goes.

Perhaps more confident than she should be, considering the TARDIS’s temperamental nature, she struts in, fills the thermos from the hot cocoa tap that appeared one day, and starts inputting coordinates. The Doctor quickly catches up, putting his head on her shoulder to watch what she’s doing. “Shouldn’t I take over from here?”

“Nah, she likes me better anyway.”

A gasp of hurt comes out of The Doctor. “She does not!”

“Really? Because the TARDIS has always taken me where I want to go. If that’s not a sign that I’m her favorite, I don’t know what is. Isn’t that right, ol’ gal?”

The lights of the TARDIS walls flash brighter, and Donna can feel a slight hum in the base of her skull. She can see The Doctor pouting in her peripheral vision, but nevertheless he hugs his arms around her waist and says, “’Spose it’s only fair, considering you’re my favorite too.”

Donna wrinkles her nose at that, but can’t quite hide her smile as she fiddles with a few knobs. “Sap.”

“Only for you.”

“Okay, first off, that’s not even true, second, double sap! At this rate you’re going to become a whole damn tree.”

The Doctor only responds with a little “mmm,” and snuggling even closer. All of which is very sweet, but reaching for the last lever she needs is a bit difficult with a 6 foot alien doing his best octopus impression. If this had been their first go around, she would’ve shoved him off. In this incarnation of, well, whatever they are, she simply does her best stretch while having a hyper-intelligent limpet attached to her.

Donna expects the typical moan and groan of the TARDIS, but apparently “Up” is a fairly simple task for her to complete. It’s mere seconds before they’re between the moon and Earth, and Donna’s ready to step out. She half walks, half drags The Doctor all the way to the TARDIS doors before he lets go. There’s a slight shiver that goes through her at the sudden lack of warmth, but the contents of the thermos will quickly amend that.

Pushing the doors to the side, she reveals exactly the view she had hoped they would get; the Earth at night, lit up in the intricate networks of humanity, and stars surrounding them. As The Doctor comes to stand next to her and look, she fondly thinks of their first night together having shared this exact same view a few billion years removed.

Quickly, she sits down, and pours herself some cocoa. She hesitates for a moment, thinking about how she’ll have to piss like a racehorse if she drinks too much, and then immediately decides she doesn’t actually care.

The Doctor immediately follows suit, and they simply watch the world for a few minutes, passing a cheap plastic cup between the two of them. After the cocoa needs refilling, she takes in The Doctor’s full body contentment, and almost, almost doesn’t interrupt it. Nevertheless, she asks, “Mostly?”

“Hmm?”

“You said things were good, mostly. What’s the not good?”

The Doctor turns to stare at her for a moment, then teasingly says, “The stargazing is a trap, isn’t it?”

Donna scoffs. “Of course not! The stargazing is because it’s a great view. The hot cocoa, on the other hand.”

The Doctor gives a bit of a laugh, then sets aside the empty cup in his left hand. He uses his right hand to take hers, then goes back to staring at the universe surrounding them. “It really is good, Donna. I didn’t lie to you when I said I’ve never been so happy, and that hasn’t changed. If anything, it becomes even more true with each passing day. I just,” The Doctor lets out a breath of a sigh, “I’m a bit worried is all. Not...not about anything major. Logically, I know that other me is doing his best for the universe, and who better to hand the keys off to? But. Well. I fear I’m losing myself. And worse, I fear that I don’t know if that’s a bad thing.”

Donna gives The Doctor’s hand a quick squeeze, a reassurance as she asks, “How do you mean?”

The Doctor give his her full force attention then, somewhat to her surprise. She had expected him to look anywhere but her. Instead, his pupils are darting back and forth, scanning her as if her face holds the answer to her own question. “Donna, I don’t feel like a time lord anymore.”

He turns away again then, taking a slow, deep breath before continuing, “I know that I am one. I know, fundamentally, that I am not a member of the human race, and that being a time lord isn’t about fulfilling a role, it’s more a state of existence. But it feels like a role, and one that I’ve quit. Retired from. Passed on to the next generation.

Even without whatever Tecteun did to me, the centuries, the lives I lived before I found you again, they seem distant. Like everything happened to someone else. Only the past year and half feel…”

The Doctor trailed off, and Donna found it shockingly easy to finish his thought. “-real?”

“Yeah.”

Donna places her head on the door frame, the forever night sky twinkling in front of her, and tells him, “I think I know what you’re getting at. It’s as if, I dunno, for fifteen years there was a woman named Donna Noble who got married and raised a child and bought a house and scrapped together a decent life for herself. She was strong, but she was also so sad, missing someone who didn’t exist. I’m grateful to that incredible, heart-broken person. She did a lot of things right, and some things wrong, and she dug up the space for the roots I’ve now placed down. But she doesn’t feel like me. It’s..it’s as if I suddenly woke up, when I got my memories back. I know it’s not true, I know that those actions, those memories are all mine, that I was never truly asleep. I don’t know her mind, though. I don’t thinkin the same way she does, I don’t act like her, I don’t even entirely sound like her. Maybe that’s how it feels for you, too?”

Donna thought she was sharing in a mutual understanding, but when she looked at The Doctor, he was devastated. “Donna, I am so sorry-”

“-Leave off! We’ve hashed that out a good ten times already, and that is not what this conversation is about.”

Everything about The Doctor was tense, but she watched him slowly force the stiffness from his body. “Yes, yes, I know. I am, but. I think that’s...pretty much exactly how I feel. Funny how that works. Same wavelength, for the two of us.”

“Sure, though, me feeling like a different person than the one in my memories isn’t quite as literal for me.”

The Doctor gives a “what can you do?” shrug, and goes quiet. There’s an..expectation in the air, at least she thinks there is, that if this conversation is to resolve, she has to be the one to do it. “The psychic paper says ‘John Noble’ by the way.”

“Huh?”

“When you flash your near universal fake badge. It used to list your name as ‘John Smith’, dumb fake name by the way, but now it says ‘John Noble.’”

He immediately looks down, poorly attempting to hide his face and his honest-to-god blush, and ohhh Donna wants to tease him about it so very badly. “Well, I, that’s as such. The psychic paper responds to the minds around it, so, that’s just. Yep.”

She grins, mostly sincerely, and shifts to lean on him. “I like it. Suits you. And, in light of it all, would it be so bad? You don’t have to, obviously, but. What if you didn’t have to be capital ‘T’ capital ‘D’ The Doctor, last of the time lords, the oncoming storm, whatever? Would you like to just be him, John Noble, regular bloke?”

“Regular? Eugh, makes me sound like a digestive system.”

He gets an elbow for that, and she amends, “Fine. Human then. Wanna join us down there on big blue ball in front of us?”

“It’d be wrong. Wouldn’t it? Yes. Right?”

It’s her turn to shrug. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. I’m admittedly biased, but I think being human is rather nice, actually.”

“In that case. I think I’ve already joined you, haven’t I?”

“I think you have, Dr. Noble.”

“Oh, that does have a ring to it!”

Donna removes her hand from The Doctor’s so that she can hug his arm and watch the world continue. In a bit, she’ll have to get up, input the coordinates back home, and get some sleep. For now, though, she simply whispers, “Happy New Year, Doctor.”

“Happy New Year, Donna.”

#my fic #:3 #doctor who #fourteendonna #fourteenth doctor #donna noble #tennant doctor #tomorrow (technically today whoops) i'll do some basic edits and cross post to ao3!#tonight though. tonight i just wanted to get it into Da World #also 1000 words my ass it was literally twice that WHOOPS

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