#vent ? i dont think so ? im just lonely
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr has been banned in Indonesia for providing people with access to pornographic content.
Text
Ignore if you don’t want to read about me being stupid once again
#pls dont read if you cant handle venting and whining#once again i am here to say that i am the loneliest person alive and i feel like i can’t grasp the basic consept of friendship and do it lol#like idk how to be friends#i feel like i will forever be sad and lonely#and i know everyone will say you can talk to me and i know that but i’ve just been by myself for so long that i don’t remember how to have#actual conversations with people i feel like i am disconnected from reality#i feel like i am an extremely unlikeable person and that’s why i was all alone in highschool and idk i am oversharing on the internet again#because it’s the only place i kind of feel safe doing it#pls take care of yourselves first before comfoting me or anything im sorry i sound very pathetic#how do i start living again#how does one live anyway#im just in my head all the time#this was supposed to be hot girl summer but it’s once again summertime sadness#im so stupid!!!#im so anxious and depressed that i dont know what to do with myself#im so sorry for oversharing i have a therapist dont worry im kind of taking care of myself#but the eternal loneliness just wont let me go#idk how to be a person anymore#i’m just sad#thinking of going to a church and pretend to be a believer so i could have a community again lol
175 notes
·
View notes
Text
love my bad mental health, love being suicidal all the time
#abc shut it#im tired of fighting it and trying to participate in life when it feels like i dont exist#love being lonely and then being told its due to my bad mental health so i pretend it doesnt affect me and i try and be myself#and no one likes me and i dont exist unless i remind people im a person so its kinda like#at a point where its not just suicidal ideation#its just a situation of /when/ and not if haha#ive been alive for 26 years and 20 of those have been exhausting as hell im ready to be done#exhausting and lonely and isolating im sick of it#i try and i try and my life doesnt get better or anymore worth living#and when i vent abt it i get told i need to try harder and im not trying at all and i need to stop being so depressed#its hard to not be depressed when the universe gives everyone around me a better experiences than me#i feel like im screaming that im here please pay attention#and nothing#i talk and my voice gets ignored or i get talked over#i post online to try and start conversations or make friends and i just get ignored#like do i exist at all to anyone else but myself#im trying to reach out and make friends but none of the ppl i wanna make friends with seem interested in having a conversation with me#i add all these people to discord and message them all the time#but nothing gets passed me sending them messages no one ever fucking messages me first#it feels like no one thinks about me and i dont matter#literally no one gives a fuck what i have to say#or anytime i talked im corrected on SOMETHING i say or i get a belittled in response#i cant do this shit anymore i cant#no one gives a shit about what i have to say and its really coming across that no one likes me#bc if my friends cant text me first or respond to my messages at all#why am i in the wrong feeling like im alone and have no friends when im the only one reaching out ever if i wanna have a conversation#and when i do feel like im allowed to talk i just talk and talk and talk and know the people dont give a shit abt what i have to say#i jsut feel like im here to be talked at and do things for other people and nothing more#that whenever i have an emotion its wrong and i need to bottle it up#and i dont eve get a chance to learn how to manage my emotions bc it feels like im going to get scolded or belittled for feeling things
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
some people will be all about mental health awareness and leftist ideals of at least tolerating the mentally ill who show ''ugly'' symptoms until it's someone they know and ''care'' about having a bad day and acting like it in a way they don't find appealing
#[temporary text post tag]#vagueing about irls#everybodys your friend until one time youre too tired to act right after getting yelled at first thing in the morning#worst thing is i trusted her enough to tell her shit none of my other friends know about#liek i genuinely believed we were friends and i wasnt just an accessory so she wouldnt feel lonely and could vent to someone about whatever#now im really wondering if all the shit she told me about other people was real or if she just ditched them as well after they-#- acted emotionally in a way she didnt like#like im sorry people have bad days and sometimes act in none cutesy ways#at this point idk if the few times i did tell her im feelin like shit she took it seriously or just thought i was joking#im kinda assuming the second one#like she did feel and act fairly progressive - she'd often talk about acceptance and understanding#i don't even think she sees this situation as dropping a 'freind'#she's prolly gonna find a way to justify it somehow idk#point is im hurt and need a drink#she even vaguely texted me like 'if someone you knew hurt someone you care about would you try to fix it with them or just block them?'#like not even confront me and say 'you hurt someone i care about so now im ending things'#or just tell me to fuck off or call me a piece of shit#i feel after a year and all of the 'youre a good friend' shit that maybe i was at least entitled to a 'fuck off kys' text and then a block#i shouldve dropped her first - save us both some time#honestly i dont even think she thinks about this at all#im probably just sulking like a kicked dog while she does whatever the fuck it is she does#she probably didnt even care about my side of the story#why would she#honestly she always did most of the talking#i was just there to listen and sometimes make a joke for her to laugh at i guess#like i didnt know i was signing up for a '1 strike and youre out' type deal lmao
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hadina thought I had
Hades: bitch are you depressed??
Rina: no!
Hades: *lifts a brow*
Rina: ……yes
Hades: come give your big blue boy a hug snoppy boopy bear
They kiss the end 💪🐺
#HELP IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS ALL DAYY#Disney hades#self ship#Disney self ship#disney f/o#Disney oc#oc x canon#💙hadina⭐️#🖇random things they’d definitely say tbh‼️#🖇pumpkinzz bs selfships💗#also I’m writing a fic this week because I’m depressed and no one likes me 🙈 /nsrs?? girl idk😭#SORRY IK IVE BEEN ACTING SO….passive?? I DONT MEAN TO IDJ#IM SO LONELY BRUH#I NEED PPL TO TALK TO ABOUT THEM BUT LIEK#AND NOT EVEN JUST THAT I WANT TO TALK IN GENERAL BUT NONE OF MY FRIENDS RESPOND#I NEED TO STOP VENTING IN THE HASHTAGS BRUH ITS SAD 💀💀😭
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
they need to make a killing myself I can do every weekend but only on the weekends so I can get up fine on monday and go to work again
#.vent#maybe i should start drinking so i can get blackout drunk every weekend. or fuck around w sedatives or pay someone to just whack me round#the head with a sledgehammer on friday evenings and hopefully ill recover from the concussion by mondays#its not even funny what the fuck is wrong with me that i have to spend all my free time trying not to kill myself i feel so sick#im literally fine at work i guess i just dont know how to have fun or be happy or feel wanted or cared for or loved by other people#but dont have to think about that when im working so its fine 5/7 days which is pretty good. im so lonely i want to throw up#tried to leave the house got ready and everything and then burst into tears for no reason ive spent the past hour trying to talk myself#down from hurting myself and i probably wont in the next few hours but i almost certainly will before the day is up. oh well#man who fucking cares. typing this isnt making me feel any better i dont really know what to do anymore#i have a drs appt in 2 weeks for smth unrelated but maybe ill ask abt antidepressants. theres nothing specific causing this#my brain just doesnt work right.i dont even feel like a person most of the time#well nothing else to say 👍
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i feel so isolated#i can talk to people#but it's hard for me to find someone i can genuinely connect with#hard for me to converse in interesting conversation with people i find interesting#i was in a group setting a while ago#talking w “friends” (not close friends; but still 'friends')#it was ok#the thing is#i don't particularly like my friends#like im not that invested. it's hard for me to find people i connect with enough to be invested in and vice versa#it's most likely a 'me' thing#i think its because of a lack of communication skills that its hard for me to find connection/make friends that i rlly like and etc#ironically the friends i do like are always extroverts and i always feel like i care more about them than they do#because they have sm friends whom they're close to and genuinely connected with meanwhile i struggle with even making 1 connection that#doesn't drain me/makes me happy/keeps me stimulated#so when i do find that 1 person i become attached and want to be closer to them#and when that happens idk i remind myself that they dont care for me as much#and i try not to be too clingy so as not to annoy them#i want to be closer to them though. we have our own friend groups but still#school for me is overall quite lonely. my 2 close friends are in another school#there's only a few people in class that i enjoy talking to#the only one (the 'main' one) that's my friend is the extrovert i mentioned a while ago#and for some reason im getting flashbacks or trauma from my past friendship#because as of now we're just classroom friends#and in my past friendship. i was also invested in that homegirl. but..we drifted apart T-T#its quite sad#i feel lonely#i want to be better at bond making and connections because#its miserable#vent
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
sighhh . i miss my wife <- he has no wife and has never had one
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#microphone effect#vent ahead ->#im. really lonely#i miss loving someone.#i miss having a partner.#stuffing my head full of fandom bullshit to distract myself only works for so long yanno#found some old letters from my ex and read them against my better judgement.#good god. we were so in love. that breakup took me by surprise so horribly#i still cant quite comprehend it. and its been over a year#over a year of me being alone and realizing i dont want to be anymore#but im stuck here. in shitville rural conservative midwest. with not many great options for a gender-confused super nerd#still embarrassed about the state of their life at the age theyre in#its just great. /s#anyways i feel really bad. think i need to have a good cry
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
My gf begged me to be on FB and I went there for a week and I felt so 🤡🤡🤡🤡 bc her main argument is that she misses me so much and "that is a way to interact in our day to day" but I'm there w no one to talk to and she is not even there. It just made me feel so stupid and even sadder bc I feel so alone in my relationship.
#i get her mental illness.. i would never throw a tantrum about her availability... i know she struggles..i know its even infuriating for her#shes asleep most of the time.. if i want to see her is me who has to organize things. im overworking learning dbt therapy...#i work a lot to make the minimun wage.. and still i make time to investigate about her bpd and adhd i try so hard to make her feel Cherised#i get her family is not the best.. i really dont think her mother is a bad person but she is a botch w her...#but ngl.. the fact that my gf doesnt even listen to the audios i send bc im bussy to text ... hurts... i feel alone ... i do feel alone#ive always been a lonely child.. ive always been pretty independent... but i sometimes feel like ppl take that#as an invitation to ignore me...#and this thing may be silly.. is just fb...but fb stresses the f out of me.. and ngl it feel sad im there. sharing stuff through out the day#and she doesnt even notices it... idk...#in just 🤡🤡🤡🤡 always i guess#venting#delete later
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
my anger is hitting astronomical levels lately and i hate it
#vent#calling myself a caring sweet and gentle person meanwhile ive been so upset lately that i have the potential to snap at everything and -#- everyone like trying to pet a wild animal. i dont know why im feeling this way and im trying to do what i can to control it or calm -#- myself down quickly. but i think now i just need to go to somewhere nobody is and nobody can find me and scream until my -#- voice permanently gives out. really i try to bottle it and let it all go but then i ultimately become extremely avoidant and isolate -#- myself so i cant hurt anyone. and then i get lonely then try to interact or become too scared to interact and now so many people -#- seem like strangers and it is my fault that i now snap so easily so i purposely try to hide so i cant hurt anyone and i feel lonely
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#ugh dont feel like logging into my vent blog so this is going here#it just kinda hit me how few like regularly engages with friends i have#like i know a lot of people on here but of the ones i do we almost never talk and i dont actually have any irl friends#i talk to like two people most consistently and one of them i live with so idk if he fully counts?#anyways i think maybe im crazy fucking lonely? but i also like have such a small social battery#anyways ive been in quarantine for four years now and i am losing my mind a little#ran out of weed and its very apparent how um le fucked i am
1 note
·
View note
Text
me feeling bad about being unaligned with binary gender and then i think about how Guz would just Get It right off the bat because honestly idk how it's such a hard concept for ppl to grasp 😭 and it makes me feel a little better fdsfjkl
#i feel bad sometimes like oohh ur such a special snowflake for not being feminine OR masculine oooh u wanna be special so bad#no you Made-Up-Person-in-my-Brain. no i dont want to be special actually fdsjkl#i really wish this was just normal. i so badly want to just be normal#honestly i start thinking ''maybe i should just be okay with being considered feminine or masculine. i should just pick one i guess''#but no !! neither fit right !! both make me uncomfortable !!#i do understand the concepts of both but i exist outside of them somehow! and idk why thats so difficult for ppl to grasp!#it is just a little lonely seeing posts talking about ''feminine ppl or masculine ppl'' like. okay i dont fit either of those. damn.#and it feels alienating bc i guess ppl dont know unaligned folk exist! transneutral is such a rare label to see talked about!#''this is nonbinary inclusive bc im saying masculine and feminine :)'' WHAT IS SO HARD TO GRASP ABOUT NON-BINARY. ITS RIGHT IN THE NAME!#why are u re-inventing the gender binary !!!!!! u just changed the words ur using for binary gender WHAT 😭😭😭#i think maybe i resent that i have to force myself into one category or the other for other ppls comfort tbh fdsjkl like. can i just exist.#but i do think Guz would genuinely just understand it immediately. not just because i Want him to LOL.#he'd be like ''ohhh theres a word for that? hell yeah that rules. i'll have to see if a few of the grunts heard about this shit yet''#bc im sure there'd be a wide range of queer kids on the team LOL#if u get a bunch of misfits together ur going to have like... a LOT of queer ppl in the group FDSJFKL#dandy.cmd#vent //#💜so good at being in trouble
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
the pianist, valeira lakrisenko, 2017
#I FUCKIG LOVE THIS PAINTING#sorry not to vent on tumblr but i feel like i have no other solid outlet💀#maybe im just being dramatic (im probably just being dramatic)#but i so think i give the world much more love than its willing to return and it makes me feel so like . lonely????#and idk why i feel like im in such like . emotional solitude#bc i have close friends and i have so many people in my life#i just feel trapped and like. hopeless?????#not hopeless like. that — im totally safe#i just want to be loved as much as i love people yk#and im sure i Am and its foolish of me to so constantly say im not#i yearn for love#but like. idk#maybe its cuz im a physical touch and words of affirmation kinda guy and i dont know many ppl who partake in that#BAHDHWIRHWIJRIWHRKWNTKAJFA#i honestly dont know why im typing this sorry#idk im an ‘all or nothing’ emotions kinda guy#just appreciate the art!!!!!!!
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
vent
#haha now im fucking sobbing im my bathroom bc i was texting one of my only 2 friends (not including my ex) about how nervous i am#then i started in about how i actually dont really want to go out & meet people & go on dates but at the same time#im so extremely tired of being lonely/alone & having absolutely no one to consistently hang out with & im so starved for love & gentleness#and tbqh all i want rn is someone to hold me. i want someone to actively want me/pursue me. i want someone to choose me & care about me#it really fucking hurts & sucks being on everyones backburner. im such a loving person. i have such a big heart & so much love to give#ive always been like that. ive always loved people with my whole being. always been happy & happy to make others happy#ive always prioritized peoples happiness & comfort & well-being FAR above my own#ive always heard the universe gives back what it receives from you......so whens it my turn to be wanted fully & loved in an unwavering way#my love has always been give give give...... i just want to receive the affection. the devotion. the loving tasks. for once. please.....#im not even looking for my forever or for my life partner or w/e. i just want someone who's excited to see me & wants to be in my presence#someone who; even if only for 1 day or 1 week or even 1 month; chooses me. chooses to stay.#i think......im tired. im gonna go play fallout nv until i pass out from exhaustion. im tired#emma vents#vent tag#sad boi hours#sad bitch hours#2023 tag
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
#vent in tags#i don't think i can keep doing this#i don't think i can go another year of just following the same routine over and over again#nothing ever changes. and nothing ever will because i won't let it#i want things to change i want to get better i promise i do#im so tired of feeling this lonely this miserable i want to be normal please#i want to know what it feels like to be normal#but i just i dont know. i dont know why i wont let myself get help (but i do know) it just seems so far away#i just want to be happy#i just want to love myself and be happy and live a normal life i want to be normal#but i cant.#i can't keep living like this i can't make it another year i really really can't. i promise i'm trying but it just gets harder and harder#i can't make it another year#i really really can't
2 notes
·
View notes