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hadesgoddess · 1 year ago

Text

Because, not despite...

3 days until our 1st wedding anniversary! I'm trying to post something for it every day until the 23rd, so here's the first. This is a fic I've had mostly written for a while, it just needed some polish.

The song that Hades sings is this:

Balls weren’t Hades’ thing. Really, any big social gathering gave him the urge to make a full 180 and run the other way. He was a bit of a loner, even after leaving the Isle and spending time with Mal. What could he say? He had an independent life and now that he wasn’t beholden to anyone else’s rules (“Except the law, dad.” Mal pointed out.) he didn’t mean to waste time going where he didn’t want to.

So how did he find himself standing in the entrance hall of the Royal Palace, tugging irritably at the collar of his shirt? Probably had something to do with the big puppy eyes Mal had given him the week before. Damn, he cursed to himself, she was getting too good at using those on him.

He told himself he would only stay long enough to annoy the royalty, grab a handful of popcorn shrimp, and hit the road.

“What are you muttering to yourself?” Mal asked, giving him a weird look as she came up to his side.

“My escape plan." He answered honestly, knowing by now that Mal would take it as a joke. Sure enough, his daughter broke into a fit of giggles and moved on. He was only half serious, the desire to blow the party off and the guilt of thinking about Mal's disappointed face warring inside of him.

The hall was beginning to fill up fast, so he kept ahead of the crowd and moved into the main ballroom. There were plenty of corners cast in shadow here; they were going for a classic ball look and had only lit the chandeliers and candelabras. Hades found a quiet spot and leaned against the wall. From his vantage point, he had an unfettered view of the entrance and exits that led onto the balcony. Perfect, he thought.

Call him a cynic, but Hades couldn’t see the point of a ball every month. To be fair, he never attended them unless Mal asked, but even twice a year seemed to be pushing it. To him it was all a parade of frivolousness and indulgence. Hades was sure that most of the dresses the kids wore to these were only used once before being discarded. He’d certainly seen enough of them in the garbage heaps they’d dumped on the Isle all those years ago.

OK, maybe he was being cynical.

He huffed and sunk against the wall, still feeling uncomfortable in the suit Mal insisted he wore. It was a 4Hearts original, black as a midnight sky with clever silver embroidery decorating the sleeves and lapel. The waistcoat was a snug fit across his chest and made him feel like a schmuck. Tight, formal clothes were so not his style.

Only for his daughter, he thought to himself, missing his worn leather jacket. He'd had that thing so long, it was as smooth as butter. It also had some of his magic endowed into it, helping him slip into the shadows when he could tell he'd worn out his welcome or just needed a breather. What he wouldn’t give to be able to do just that tonight!

But, he realized later, if he had escaped right then, he would have completely missed the moment Rose entered the room. It was like a spotlight falling right above her. From the far side the room, his eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to her. She was so bright, it hurt to look and like a moth to a flame, he was happy to burn.

A dark, thorny crown circled their brow, twilight blooms sprouting soft petals against their olive skin. Lace covered their shoulders and chest, black and delicate. Hades’ gaze trailed down her form and lingered on the dip of her waist into her hips, the curve of her shoulder as she turned to look at the person next to her. Every step in her stride was as graceful as any queen Hades had seen.

Did they know he was there at the ball? He hadn’t promised Mal he would come until yesterday and even Rose knew his disdain for parties.

Could she feel his gaze from across the room, devouring the sight of her like a starving beggar? Oh, how he’d changed from the dreaded Lord of the Dead.

No, Rose had changed him. Because she loved him.

Hades froze, shock from the revelation crashing through him. There was no way, He though frantically, No way, I’ve gotta be wrong.

After all, Hades had thought whatever relationship was between him and Maleficent had been love in the beginning, in its own little twisted way. It had ended with him running away. Away from someone who was trying to hurt him, used him for their own gains like his siblings had.

He wasn’t sure he really blamed them. It wasn’t until he had Mal that he thought about changing. His daughter was the only one who had ever loved him, even if it wasn’t unconditionally. Hades hoped they would get to that point someday.

What did he know of love?

Then, Rose did spot him in the crowd and it was as if one of Zeus’ thunderbolts struck him through the chest, pinning him where he stood to melt under her gaze. There was no mistaking it; this old foolish god had fallen in love too.

Even if he wasn’t sure how to untangle the jumble of emotions thrumming in his chest, he trusted his oldest friend, his intuition. Somehow, despite all he pretended to be for the world, an emotionally distant, cold god who pushed away almost everybody, she loved him.

Despite his past, all the hate and fury that lived in him almost destroyed his first family and did destroy his second family, they loved him.

Despite the desperately lonely centuries spent ruling the Underworld, the even impossibly more lonely years on the Isle, asking her to spy on Mal while watching from afar, she loved him.

Despite the screaming, the raging, the spirals into the dark hole that lived in his soul, they loved him.

Despite the sarcastic, scathing remarks he wielded as his strongest shield and an explosive temper on a pathetically short leash, they loved him.

Rose had seen all of it. And despite... despite, despite, despite it all, she loved him...

In this millisecond that unraveled Hades entire world, Rose had flashed him a brilliant smile, one he was beginning to suspect she saved for only him and turned back to the company at her side. With the connection broken, Hades tried to breathe again, but his chest was too tight. He felt the oddest floating sensation like he was outside his own body.

I have to get out of here, I-

Barely able to complete the thought, Hades slipped out the doors leading to the balcony. Cool night air soothed his hot skin, hotter than usual, a welcome relief.

Questions and doubts were beginning to creep in, right on schedule, an unusual twist on the edge of his thoughts. He was nervous, he realized with some self-disgust.

What was he going to do? Half of him was ready to self-sabotage, try and change her mind. The other half felt like a soda can ready to pop with breathless disbelief.

Was that stupid, soft, unbearably warm feeling he got down in the bottom of his stomach what they felt too? Did she ever feel her skin itch with the need to take him by the hand and walk by his side? Did she lose her place in a conversation with him because she could only focus on his lips and how they might feel pressed to hers? Only wanted him to smile at them forever, fondness in ever line? Did she think about how glassy his eyes might get if she leaned in slow and kiss the breath right out of his lungs? Could she want to feel his heart beat beneath her hand, resting there lightly as they swayed in an empty room?

Mind spinning, Hades stared over the balcony railing. Night had descended swiftly, like the souls of ancient Greece to the Underworld. A perfect tint of blue still peeked above the horizon, a gentle border between the falling sun and rising moon. Hades looked up for an answer, like so many mortals once did when he was Lord of the Underworld, and was struck by the clarity of the emerging stars. They reminded him of Rose’s eyes.

Dropping his head in defeat, Hades drew his hands into fists, skin scraping against the rough cold stone of the balustrade. They deserved better than him. Deserved more than someone ready to turn away the second they realized they loved her.

Through the miasma of building misery and fear, Rose’s voice came unbidden, a memory from when they were on the Isle before Mal left for Auradon.

“People can be foolish and reckless with love. If I found real love, something strong enough to last, I wouldn’t hurt it or give up.”

He squeezed his eyes shut. This specter of Rose was just taunting him at this point. Hades was foolish and reckless, he knew. He was also terrified of holding on too tightly or not being able to trust his feelings. What if he couldn’t help but walk away? Maybe it was better to not address it at all, to let whatever was between them wither and die, so no one would get hurt.

Another memory floated up,

“Sometimes getting hurt is inevitable. But if you fix it together? That’s love. That’s what I want; someone to share their trust.”

He trusted Rose. Could he trust himself?

He wanted to try for Rose.

Maybe he would never think he could deserve her, but Rose had given him a second chance. Even though his mind was trying to hit every brake pedal and stop him, his body knew he had to be honest with her.

Glancing back over his shoulder at the now full ballroom, Hades made up his mind. He straightened his coat, glad for once to be done up like a show pony. Anything to seem put together when he inevitably made an ass out of himself telling Rose he loved-

“Shit!” His heart started pounding when he thought about what he was about to go do and his knee actually buckled. Good thing the balustrade was right behind him or he would’ve gone down.

“Dad! Are you OK?”

Hades only groaned. Mal emerged from the set of doors further along the balcony, coming to his side. “What are you doing?” She asked again, her face filled with concern.

Composing himself quickly, so it wouldn’t be more embarrassing, Hades said, “Bout to go make my life either heaven or hell. I’ll let you know which later!” And strode back inside.

“I meant...” She trailed off as he disappeared. “Standing out here alone...?”

Inside, the ballroom was flush with bodies, all neatly wrapped in swathes of silk and voluminous layers of chiffon. A perfumed cloud floated above the crowd, making Hades’ head spin. He gave it a slight shake, to clear his mind while keeping an eye out for Rose. They were the only one wearing black in this sea of baby blues, pastel pinks, and garish golds.

How did he not realize he loved her sooner?

Without meaning to, a smile spread across his face. He had the horrible suspicion it was the dopey, sappy, lovestruck fool kind.

Shaking his head, Hades yelled at himself to get it together. He swept his gaze across the room again and finally spotted the deep red of the flowers in her hair, directly in the middle of the dance-floor.

Keeping pace with the music, she flew across the shining tile, passing from partner to partner. Delight had overtaken their face, caught up in the whirlwind motion of the crowd. Slowly, he turned and followed. As they moved, so did he, step for step, around and around, waiting for the chance to step in.

Could he do this?

He wanted to do this, he told his noisy fears, he wanted to be there for her.

And so he was.

As Rose turned from their last partner, arms outstretched to the next one, Hades slipped into the space between and caught her in one lithe move. Her eyes that had been closed in exhilaration blinked in surprise as she beheld her new partner. Hades was technically supposed to pass them on, but he’d never been one to go with the flow and when Rose realized they were with him for the rest of the song, they settled perfectly into his arms. He felt something in his soul click into place.

“Hades! I’ve been wondering where you slunk off to!” Rose laughed, a little out of breath. Their eyebrow cocked as they continued, teasingly, “I didn’t know you danced.”

“I don’t,” He responded, feeling stiff and out of practice, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him.

“Then... why are you dancing with me?” She asked. Even though she was confused, Rose leaned into him. Hades felt his heart stutter with their lovely face so close to his own. So close, but not yet his.

“Because-” He tried to say, but the words got stuck. “Because, I... well-”

“...Because...?” She repeated softly, carefully, like she already know the answer. Her green eyes met his and again, he knew. They could see right through him. And still, there was affection shining in their gaze, even as he fumbled.

He took a breath and tried to think of a different way to tell her. The quiet moment between them was only broken by the continuing steady pace of the music. And then, he knew just how to say it.

“I know you wonder why I care, I know the air is thin up there,” He sang, his voice breaking slightly with the effort to keep the words soft and private. Desire to pour as much earnestness as he could muster into the lines had his hands shaking as they left her waist to cradle her chin.

“Because...” Hades said in a normal tone, not caring if they’d slowed in the middle of the waltzing, whirling crowd. Swaying back and forth, he let their heads fall closer together until their lips were only inches apart. He continued to sing,

“I’m a fool in love and I can’t help myself... I can’t get enough of your love...” He finally whispered the words. A little gasp left her lips, shocked breath stolen from her and all he wanted to do was press his mouth to hers, make her as breathless as possible.

But the tempo picked up and he followed the steps into a lift. Raised above him, Rose laughed with surprise and delight, the sound as bright and giddy as Hades’ heart felt. Thousands of flickering lights gleamed through their curls, giving his angel a halo all their own. Hades was sure the adoring smile they gave him was mirrored on his own face.

What was he scared of? Rose was nothing like his brothers and sisters. She was nothing like Maleficent. Rose was like his other side, alike and opposite at the same time.

It was in the way she held onto him as she tilted her head back to bask in the glow that surrounded her. Their smooth skin felt precious in his hands, more priceless than all the miles of silk in the room. It was how her eyes wouldn’t leave his, drawing him into their depths as they danced on.

As she dropped back into his embrace, their feet already moving into the next steps, she leaned in to whisper, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I was so sure I was making a fool of myself with how obvious I was.”

“Out of the two of us, it’s definitely not you who’s foolish,” He huffed a laugh, self-deprecatingly. Rose’s brows drew together, consternation in the lines, and they raised their own hand to cup his cheek.

“Don’t think that,” Hades winced, already regretting opening his big mouth. But Rose only stroked his jaw with gentle fingers. “Life wasn’t going to make it easy for us. But that just tells me how worth it this is, how much you are worth to me.”

“Even with all my shit?” He had to ask. “Despite all the baggage I’m dragging with me?”

Rose gave him a soft, fond look. “What do you mean, despite? There’s no despite for me.” Lifting herself on her toes, she pressed a tender kiss to his cheek. “It’s because, darling, not despite. I love you because of everything you are.”

#my writing #ship: a glimpse of the sun #anywaaaaaaay today has me a sappy mess #you guys have NO idea how long I've listened to this song and daydreamed about this scenario #its the reason this song has been my number one every year for 3 years #self shipping community #s/i community #f/o community #f/o: Hades #wedding anniversary content #Descendants 3 self ship #Descendants self ship #Disney self ship

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