#vegan deli meats

[ersatzpenguin]

Some friends have recently been saying to me, “You’re always saying completely nonsensical things like, ‘This weekend, I made vegan pepperoni’—what the fuck does that even mean?!?!?”

Glad you asked. Here’s a gallery of photos taking you through the basic steps of creating vegan deli meat—from my recent weekend extravaganza making pepperoni, capicola, and bacon.

In order, we have:

Getting all the ingredients together.

All the ingredients in a blender (minus the vital wheat gluten).

The blended liquid in bowls.

Seitan dough made by combining the liquid with vital wheat gluten flour.

That beautiful dough wrapped up tightly in foil to bake.

The cooled dough ready for slicing.

The results of slicing—delicious vegan deli meat.

All that goodness vacuum packed so we can freeze it and eat it later.

I hope this answers your questions.

[vegan-nom-noms]

Vegan Muffaletta Panzanella Salad

[morethansalad]

Comment Faire un Beau Plateau de Fromages Vegan / How to Make a Vegan Cheese Board

[cruella-devegan]

Smith & Deli / Collingwood, Melbourne

Breakfast Scramble Roll - Vegan scrambled eggs, bacon, cheese, hash brown and smoky tomato relish in a brioche roll.

[hearts-guided-key]

A week ago I've decided to try to go vegan for health reasons and holy crap. Groceries are already so expensive here but daaang. Now I know why vegans are so skinny. They can't afford to buy enough food lol

[raw1111official]

Hey #Lovers❤️‍🔥! Stay informed on 🌺RAW1111.COM🥑 ⚠️🍃 Listeria Outbreak Alert: Stay Safe with Vegan Choices! 🍃⚠️. Protect your health with plant-based goodness! #GVWU Go Vegan With Us 🌱💚

[sporkfan14]

Vegan Tumblr be like:

[chaoticace2005]

Alastor: This water is VEGAN?! *spits it out (onto Vaggie)*

Alastor: Husker, my good fellow! Bring me some meat water!

Husk, at the bar: *Pours a glass of hot dog water and throws in a slice of deli ham as garnish*

Alastor, sips it: Ahhh, refreshing.

[foone]

Every time I see that post about the Boar's Head recall, I'm like "oh I should tell my friend!" because she's the kind of person who keeps an eye on food recalls.

And I get halfway to copying the link before I also remember that it's a recall on deli meat, and SHE'S VEGAN.

I am not smart sometimes.

[pedge-page]

I can literally imagine preggo wife randomly going vegan after watching a bbc documentary on animals and automatically contradicting it after seeing Joel eat the fattest steak known to mankind.

She'd be soooooo dignified too. Like peeling her soy beans and boasting how full and satisfied she is. Plus she's saving helpless baby animals who remind her of the baby she's carrying. It all makes sense. Mothers care for life.

And Joel's telling her how ridiculous she's being, that she needs protein and natural things found in meat for her AND the baby, that she's not going to get enough nutrients from peeling beans all day.

And Joel just knows, if he directly tells you otherwise, you'll be more stubborn and go even harder on your vegan trip. So he takes a better approach and let's you do you.

And cooks the most fabulous, juiciest, thickest steak, the most expensive cut from the deli too, and only makes one for himself. And you're sitting across from him at the table, staring at him lightly salt it while you poke at your nuts and berries. Feeling so exhausted and hungry and yet crazed like a lioness ready to attack a child just to get food. (Its been 27 hours since you watched the documentary).

Joel cuts a cubed piece and puts it in his mouth, moaning loudly and chewing slowly. Making a big show of how delicious it is, savoring the flavor without saying a word to you.

He glances at you gripping your fork so hard it's bending. And he decides to get up and get a glass of water.

He turns for maybe 0.4 seconds and hears a loud thunk of a chair hitting the ground and shuffling feet before looking back to his place setting and seeing you tear into his steak with your bear hands, k9s sawing away and your jaw working extra hard to rip big chunks of it in your mouth.

And then he's running over to you and cutting it up quickly into small bite sized pieces, lecturing to you about a fork so you don't accidentally choke. Doesn't even get upset you've swallowed his $35 dinner whole without asking.

Joel just knows what you need, and how to convince you properly whenever you wanna be stubborn about it.

[vegan-nom-noms]

Italian Sub Pull Apart Sliders

[morethansalad]

Vegan Ploughman's Lunch Platter

[louthesawgirl]

What each Saw character would get as a Tesco meal deal (scientifically accurate)

Hello everyone, I decided as my debut long Saw shitpost, I thought I would decide what meal deals different Saw characters would opt for if they stumbled into a Tesco and were a bit peckish after setting up a few traps.

If you’re not from the U.K. or Ireland and are not familiar with the British & Irish institutions of a meal deal, it’s basically a packaged sandwich, pasta pot, salad, bit of sushi maybe alongside a snack item and a drink for a fixed price (it used to be around £3/ €4 but the shops are taking the piss now). Meal deals are considered a treasured institution here and are an indication of your personality. People judge your character based on what you get between two slices of cheap bread.

Here’s what different Saw characters would get for a Tesco meal deal:

Adam (Faulkner) Stanheight

1. Southern fried chicken chipotle mayo sub

2. Doritos cheese flavour

3. Vimto still drink

Judging on how we know Adam is quite an unorganised adult struggling to adult most days, I would assume he opts for high energy foods to keep his tastebuds happy. Cheese, spiced chicken and fruity drinks seem up his street. Plus, Vimto is a very Mancunian thing and if Saw was set in the U.K., there’s no way Adam would not be from Manchester.

Dr Lawrence (Larry) Gordon

1. Eat Your Greens Feta Salad

2. Apple & Grape snack pot

3. Chilled Iced Latte

I feel like because Larry is a doctor, he prioritises convenience but also eats healthily. I also imagine him to be meat free/ vegetarian so that explains the feta & greens salad (I don’t think he’d be vegan though, he seems like he loves proper cheese too much). Larry seems like he’d always be carrying breath mints or tictacs to minimise the cheese or coffee breath- nobody needs a waft of that when being told they’ve got 6 months left to live.

Amanda Young

1. BLT sandwich

2. Walkers Thai Sweet Chilli Sensations Crisps

3. Monster Energy drink (chosen based on packaging colours to match mood)

Amanda is a busy lady planning traps and building contraptions designed to almost certainly kill people. She seems like she enjoys a bit of spice along with classic comfort combinations.

John Kramer

- Chicken & bacon sandwich

- Egg snack pot

- Green smoothie

John seems like he’s mindful of what he puts into his body considering he’s consistently a salt & vinegar crisp away from death with the cancer and all. He’s also a very smart man so he would know the best value for money combination with a meal deal is getting an overpriced fruit smoothie for a drink.

Mark Hoffman

- All Day Breakfast sandwich (triple)

- Walkers Max Salt & Vinegar crisps

- Red Bull

Mark seems like he can’t get enough of bacon & sausage, even though it’s cold and not exactly very fresh. Maybe he’d even have a bit of HP brown sauce with it. Mark would also probably make immature jibes towards vegans and vegetarians because he’s that kind of man. Considering Mark works overtime setting up traps and evading capture, all he’d be drinking by the events of Saw 7 would be energy drinks.

Jill Tuck

- Egg & Cress sandwich

- Arla strawberry protein yogurt

- Bottle of water

Jill is a bit… bland. I’m sorry but I just have to say it. Egg & cress perfectly summarises Jill’s personality as seen in movies 4-7 between two pieces of bread.

Peter Strahm

- Deli style cheese & pickle sandwich

- Smoked salmon sushi pack

- Pepsi Max

Strahm made some good decisions, some regrettable ones and one very very dumb decision during his time in the Saw universe. Just like his track record with making poor decisions, I’d guess Peter would get some supermarket sushi as a snack with his meal deal- not very fresh nor authentic and will leave you wondering why you couldn’t have got a pack of reliable crisps or a chocolate bar instead.

Lindsey Perez

- Feta & sundried tomato pasta

- Propercorn sweet & salty popcorn

- Fanta orange

Perez is a great character and so she would get a meal deal to reflect that. Why do I also imagine Lindsey being veggie?

Eric Matthews

- Meatball marinara sub

- Walkers Monster Munch Pickled Onion crisps

- Red Bull

I feel like this choice accurately reflects Eric. It’s a combination that’s maybe reflective of an immature palette, maybe even a sort of guilty pleasure combination. I wonder if he’d put the monster munch hands (or feet) on his fingers and eat them like that.

Hope you enjoyed my incredibly British saw shitpost x

[lookingformoondrop]

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO WRITES FOR THE COFFIN OF ANDY AND LEYLEY!!!!! THANK YOU <33333

Gonna ask some relationship hc w leyley!! It could be yandere if you like (I mean she is one already but-yk)

Ashley Graves X gn!reader - Relationship Headcannons

TW: Ashley is manipulative, she's a red flag but I'm colorblind, everyone has a foul mouth, mentions of cheating and kissing, Ashley is very emotionally dependent.

♥︎ Notes: I thought about making Ashley a yandere, but then I reflected on what Anon said and thought... they're right, LOL. I'm always happy to supply content for TCOAAL, and I really appreciate everyone who takes the time to request! I hope these meet your expectations. <3♥︎

Ashley Graves is impulsive, stubborn, cleverly stupid, and a pain in the ass.

If I had to describe dating Ashley I'd say it's like riding a roller coaster but never knowing when it'll drop.

When you first met her, you were blinded by her beauty (her tits) and decided to walk up to her for a number.

She was flustered that someone was interested in her, sure she's had people walk up to her before, but it was because they were always more interested in her brother than her.

But once she realized you were in it for her, she never let you go again.

It started with frequent house visits. She'd sleep over without asking, and just like a stray-cat that cuddles up to you, you couldn't say no.

She'd try to cook you for you! Every morning where she aserted herself into your day, you'd wake up to the wonderful smell of burning shit. When you went to your kitchen with a loving fire extinguisher in your hands, you'd see she was cooking eggs and some unidentified meat.

You'd walk up behind her and kiss the nape of her neck, never telling her you're only doing this because her hair smells like cherries and if you don't you're pretty sure you'll pass out from the smoke.

"Y/N, why is there a fire extinguisher in your hands?"

"Early Christmas."

"Liar."

Dates were fun, too! Even though you'd organize the actual dates like eating out, going to amusement parsl, carnivals, and the like, her dates would be along the lines of staying at home and cuddling. You might call it boring, but to Ashley, a perfect date would be where you're both left alone with only eachother to give company.

No one, and I mean NO ONE, would be able to see her precious Y/N except her.

And not that you minded anyways, you enjoyed spending time with Ashley, even if half that time was her being exhausting.

Speaking of which, exhausting, you ask? How is little ol' Ashley exhausting?

Be it a nice co-worker, a pleasant stranger, a funny waiter, or even that woman who works at the deli that gives you that cheap vegan processed ham with bacon bits, Ashley hated the fact you even acknowledged them.

It often became her favorite topic to annoy you with.

While cuddling on the couch (iykyk), Ashley began to look at you with intense eyes. You knew what these eyes meant. It was a warning sign that she was about to ask you something that could potentially piss you off. Of course, she didn't care about that part, all you needed to know was she was going to ask and you'd better be honest.

"N/M, do you love me?"

"Sure I do, you're my girlfriend after all."

Ashley wrapped her arms around your neck a little tighter, "So then," her face darkened, "would you ever cheat on me?"

You sighed, this line of questioning was becoming less and less of the 'would you love me if I was a worm' deal and more of the 'whose that bitch you were talking to' deal.

"No, Ashley, I wouldn't. Why would you feel the need to ask me that?"

Ashley raised her head from your chest and opened her mouth, her final statement ready to fire,

"So then why do you still look at other people if you would never cheat?" Her eyes narrowed on you.

You groaned and rubbed your temples, "Jesus Ashley, now I can't even have simple eye contact with people?"

She blew a breath of annoyance, "why would you even make eye contact?! I'm the only one you should be looking at, N/M!"

You went to push Ashley off of you, already sick of her shit.

"No! Do you even still love me?! All you do is go to work, go to school, hang out with your stupid friends, and ignore me!"

"I'm not doing this with you AGAIN, Ashley! Just because I know or talk to other people does not mean I'm screwing them! Jesus Ashley, you would think we'd be over this by now..."

Ashley pouted and blinked the tears in her eyes away, "...fine. leave me then, see if I care."

She sits up and goes to the opposite end of the couch.

"You're sitting on my feet, Ashley."

Ashley turned her head away and ignored you.

You hated it when she got her way, but you also couldn't stand to see her so upset. After all, she was only upset because she missed you.

Sighing with defeat you said softly, "I'm sorry I don't pay enough attention to you, Leyley. Life distracts me sometimes, but that doesn't mean I don't still love you. This weekend I'll cancel with my friends and we can go on a date. "

She hummed, "id rather we stay in and watch a movie."

"Which movie?" You coax your girlfriend for a smile,

"...Hypergore Splatterbrains 4," She looked at you and grinned.

"There's my pretty girl," you wrapped an arm around her waist, "alright, you happy now? Will you stop bitching about people in my life who I will NEVER cheat on you with?"

She brought a finger to her bottom lip, "Nah, maybe a kiss will convince me?"

She looked at you with a devious smirk, you sighed. "Cmere you," Ashley giggled and jumped on top of you, sharing a loving kiss.

Yeah, Ashley is exhausting.

But in a way, you're happy she's yours. You couldn't be happier, even if her cooking skills are shit, she's a tad bit possessive, and she leaves passive aggressive notes in your lunchbox when you go to work.

You love her either way.

"Hey N/M?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you love me?"

You sighed with content and wrapped your arms around her waist, "Yes Leyley, I love you. Do you love me?"

Ashley laid her head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat,

"I love you, N/M~"

Thank you for the ask!<3

[raw1111official]

Hey #Lovers❤️‍🔥! Stay informed with 🌺RAW1111.COM🥑 🚨 Major Recall Alert: Over 7 Million Pounds of Boar's Head Deli Meat Recalled Due to Listeria Outbreak 🚨. Stay safe and healthy! #GVWU Go Vegan With Us 🌱💚

[aemondavenue]

Hey, what about some wonderful headcanons of modern!Aemond with his pregnant gf/wife? I neeed all the opinions and details!!!

Thank u and luv you💜🐲💜🐲

word count: 350

Aemond is very gentle and attentive with you throughout your pregnancy

you can’t walk up stairs without his hand on your back

you can’t put on your shoes without him plopping to his knees and lacing them for you

“I can do it myself”

“I know,” he would say.

“I am not a child.”

“You’re the most capable woman I know, Issa jorrāelagon”

He would be crazy on top of the foods and chemicals that could possibly be toxic to you and the baby

He’d be in the kitchen whipping you up some vegan sushi rolls

“I want the real thing, this isn’t fair.”

“No sushi for the baby. I’m sorry.”

“A sandwich instead?”

“I can make that too if you're fine with no deli meat.”

Your habits would change, your everything would change, he’d notice it all

One day he’d watch you grab your nightgown from the chest of drawers

Instead of stripping where you stood like usually you’d pad over to the bathroom

“Where are you going?” he’d tilt his head.

“To change clothes,” you’d say, closing the door behind you.

Once you were done, you would walk out dressed for bed and you’d crawl in with him

“I do hope you didn’t go to the bathroom to shield yourself from me.”

“I’m just not comfortable with how I look right now. I’m sensitive about everything,” you shake your head, "it’s not you.”

“What do you have to be insecure about?” he’d sound genuinely perplexed.

“This,” you’d gesture to your body, “it’s not the body you fell in love with.”

He’d scrunch his eyebrows.

“That is the body I fell in love with because I fell in love with you. Is this why you haven’t wanted sex with me? Because you think I don’t want you?”

You wouldn't say anything.

“I’ll have you know, the thoughts I’ve had of you as of late are unbecoming of a gentleman. Whenever you are ready, you can have me.”

He wasn’t lying.

He always thought of how you’d swell for him during pregnancy and now here you were and he was insatiable.