#valkyrie incorrect quotes

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Thor, texting Valkyrie: [sends a voice message]

Valkyrie, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?

Thor: No, don’t worry, just listen later.

[later]

Valkyrie: [presses play]

Thor's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE—

[me-uglypretty]

Y/n: Valkyrie said we got princess at home.

Carol: Stop saying that!

Valkyrie: Okay, pretty princess.

[reguluslovesspelunking]

dorcas: hear me out, bio degradable sex toys

marlene: now that’s not a nice thing to say about men

[jameskinniesrise]

Marlene comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Dorcas’s bedroom. Dorcas: Babe, are you.. coming to bed? Marlene: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend. Marlene: Lies on the ground and falls asleep Dorcas: …

[luxthestrange]

RoR Incorrect quotes#188 No thoughts head empty stare

Y/n*Sitting beside him giggles seeing your villager and his villager from Animal Crossing get married* Til death do us part, right, Puppy?

Anubis*Who thinks they're actually married now and grins at you* It's cute you think death can separate us~

[liv45no]

Dorcas: I’m passing the phone to someone who’s addicted to dragon soup.

Marlene: I’m passing the phone to a ginger.

Lily:

Lily: I am passing the phone to someone who’s mean to everyone.

Regulus: first of all, that was a lie, second of all, I’m passing the phone to the person with the hugest glasses you have ever seen in your whole life ever.

James: I’m passing the phone to someone who’s really annoying in the morning because they have so much energy.

Mary: hello! I am passing the phone to the biggest undercover party animal!!

Remus: ...I am passing the phone to the person who’s mostly to go home early from a party because it’s past his bedtime.

Sirius:

[percyweasleyapologist]

Marlene: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

Marlene: *aggressively throws water bottles*

Sirius: Uh... what's up with her?

Lily: She's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.

Marlene: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!

Mary, crying: It's working.

[hadesisqueer]

RWBY as Tweets (I'm bored)

[aprill-99]

Rhys: “So let’s see if I’ve got this; you have immense shadow power, incredible combat skills, height, tattoos, secrets, dead parents, a thirst for vengeance, the weight of the world on your shoulders, a rebellion to lead, and a dragon?”

Xaden: “Yeah? I mean, there’s also my girlfriend who I’m completely in love with and 107 people under my protection but-”

Rhys: *frantically flipping through papers* “this is the hyper-intelligent girlfriend with unprecedented lightning powers? The one you speak to with your mind and call a nickname permanently?”

Xaden: “I do only have the one girlfriend. Kinda offended you’d think otherwise.”

Rhys: *signs a paper* “Adopted. The rebellion thing is handled. Me and your aunts and uncles have got this. Your new mom is going to need some time to add you and your mate to the family portrait gallery. Your bedroom is upstairs, knives are in the training ring, family dinner is every Thursday, your allowance is infinity and your curfew is never.”

Xaden: “I am…. Older than your wife?”

Rhys: “Did I fucking stutter?”

[juanarc-thethird]

HOW?!!!

Weiss: How is it possible that you guys are still alive? You two should be dead!

Nora: *Looks at Jaune* Should we tell her our secret?

Jaune: *Nods*

Nora: We are...

Weiss: Ah-ha...

Nora:... stupid. *smiles*

Jaune: *Smug*

Weiss:...

Weiss: What?

[solarspringg]

Marauders Reacting to Scam Calls:

Lily: Answers the phone, but once she realizes it’s a scammer, she rolls her eyes, hangs up, and blocks the number.

Remus: Answers and grabs a metal bowl, places it on top of his phone, and bangs on it repeatedly until the scammer hangs up. It’s awful but Remus thinks it’s absolutely hilarious.

James: Tries to keep the scammer on the phone as long as possible. He’ll do whatever he can to keep the person on, from pretending to be a super confused old lady to telling a fake, random story that goes nowhere. His current record is one hour and 49 minutes.

Sirius: Immediately starts flirting with the scammer. “You want my credit card information? Oh, baby what kinda man do you take me for? Buy me dinner first and then we’ll see, hot stuff.”

Peter: Actually fell for a scam once but learned from his mistake immediately. His friends still make fun of him to this day that he got scammed.

Pandora: Picks up the phone and then somehow ends up having a deep conversation with the scammer. “John, is it? You know, I think you just need to tell her your feelings. If you never confess, you’ll regret it deeply.”

Regulus: Doesn’t answer his phone, like ever. His montra is if it’s important, they’ll leave a voicemail. But even then Regulus most of the time won’t call anyone back.

Mary: Once she knows that it’s a scam call, she tries to get the scammer as mad as she possibly can. She thinks it’s a riot when they start screaming at her and then furiously hang up on her.

Marlene: Answers and also tries to keep the scammer on the line as long as possible, as she and James are competing to see who has the longest record. James is currently winning, but Marlene is only a few minutes behind. She’s extremely determined to win.

Dorcas: As soon as she realizes it’s a scammer calling her, she starts belittling the scammer. “Seriously? Out of all the things to do, you chose scamming? Do yourself a favour and get yourself a real fucking job. God, this is just bloody embarrassing for you.”

Barty: After answering, he ends up scamming the scammer and getting their credit card info instead, as well as all their personal information. Barty loves it when the scammer gets all scared and starts to plead for forgiveness.

Evan: Tries to make the scammer so uncomfortable that they hang up. “You have an amazing voice. I’d love to slice open your throat and examine those pretty little vocal cords of yours.” Scammers always hang up right away.

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Thor: Ow! My armkle!

Valkyrie: Your what?

Loki, sighing: His wrist.

[me-uglypretty]

Valkyrie: Are they always like this?

[Kamala, America, Kate & Yelena staring intensely]

Carol: No, actually, yes, but they’re really excited to meet you—

Kamala: OHH CAROL HAS A GIRLFRIEND!

Kamala, whispering: And she’s gonna be our other mom.

[chaostroberry1]

Apollo, in a seductive mouth watering outfit, leaning on the doorframe, winking and hinting at something : "(m/n)~ I'll be good tonight and sleep all by myself while I wait for you, okay~♥?"

(M!name), in a meeting with a few gods, incredibly oblivious : "alright! Sleep well. goodnight, dear!"

Apollo : "better join me soon~♥" *walks away to the bedroom*

The gods who just witnessed the BS : "😧"

---

---

I got this from that death note scene of misa in a sexy outfit, obviously hinting at light on "stuff" she wanna do later. Motherfucker did not understand what she meant ☠️

[that-bitch-kat3]

marlene after sirius came out: hey that’s okay! we all still love you! you like boys, so what? lily likes boys, i like boys-

mary: are you sure

marlene: does now feel like the right time to have this conversation to you?

[luxthestrange]

RoR Incorrect quotes#121 Go away papa

Daddy Poseidon + Atheist!Y/n had twins...And the babies got all their features from Poseidon...and straight up don't like him-...hell even in your belly the moment Poseidon put his hand on your belly they KICK it off you as if going "GET YOUR DISCUTING HANDS OFF MUMMY"-...normally the twins didn't kick or move a lot like they knew your uncomfy...the twins don't like many only cute and cuddly with you but there are surprising...special exceptions...like uncle hades, kojiro,Heracles and... Adamas both twins smile at him-...pathetic dad Poseidon is all I want-

Zeus*Looking at the twin's who are the carbon copy of him wrapped in little burritos sucking their binkies...only a month old-*...They attack?

Poseidon*Holding his twins in arms with bags under his eyes*...Worse

Twins*looking at Zeus like he is the scum of the earth,heaven n Hell, up and down unimpressed by him*...

Poseidon:-They JUDGE you...

Zeus:...

...Dunno what their names be-